Colleen Brown's Blog, page 111
November 16, 2014
new additions to my desk
new additions to my desk
November 15, 2014
""Losing someone you care about is painful. Losing yourself inside of someone who never cared about..."
"Losing someone you care about is painful. Losing yourself inside of someone who never cared about you is even worse."
"I’m allowed to be sad, right? I’m allowed to want to be swallowed by darkness without the want or need to be saved by someone else, right?"
"When I was right next to you, you didn’t give a shit if I was there or not. Now that I’m somewhere where you can’t reach me you’ve never looked for me for so long and so thoroughly."
"I don’t care that you want someone else or that you have someone else. Keep rubbing your new love and relationship in my face because even if you want me to care, I don’t. Even if I am writing this."
"He said forever so I figured that meant until tomorrow morning."
"You want me to say I’m sorry but I don’t know what I should be sorry about. I’m not sure if you want me to say I’m sorry for leaving or that I’m sorry for not coming back. Either way, I don’t think I’ll ever be apologetic for doing things that were best for me."
”- "Unfinished small pieces from letters, texts and poems that I never got around to mailing, sending and posting,"
new playlist -
“i’m myself again - and i wish you would have...
“i’m myself again - and i wish you would have stayed to watch me grow”
two weeks, fka twigs
pilgrim, mø
burning desire, lana del rey
love out of lust, lykke li
this is what it feels like, banks
genesis, grimes
ribs, lorde
kingdom (feat. kelela), bank head
new playlist - listen here - 8tracks
November 13, 2014
"I’ve been told that I should forgive
everyone who has ever hurt me,
loved me in the wrong..."
I’ve been told that I should forgive
everyone who has ever hurt me,
loved me in the wrong ways,
broke promises without explanations
and who have made me feel
as though trust is just another
made-up word for those who use it
in their own advantage.
Well I have forgiven the one
who fractured my heart for his own
and I have made mends with those
who use apologies to sleep more
soundly during the night,
and now that I have moved past
the chapters of my life that have been
filled with sorrow and self-consciousness,
I am ready to forgive myself.
So I am saying sorry to my skin
for always writing out blame on its
surface and I am finally mending
all the broken pieces within myself
that always thought they were
the ones that needed to change
in-order for them to be loved
in the right way.
- "It’s time that you forgive yourself," - Colleen Brown
it’s been gettinga lot easierwithout you.
it’s been getting
a lot easier
without you.
November 12, 2014
Don’t tell methat you love meif you can’teven wait for meto start lovingmyself.
Don’t tell me
that you love me
if you can’t
even wait for me
to start loving
myself.
"This is not a poem for the one
who got away but for those who
loved me enough to stay.
There I go..."
who got away but for those who
loved me enough to stay.
There I go again turning dedication
into a rhythmic confession and I promise
that none of this is intentional.
For those who saw a light inside of me
when all I could pull from myself
was darkness, this is for you.
I always seem to remember the ones
who broke me more than the ones who have
healed me and this is something
about myself that I am trying to repair,
trying to change and to make it a defining part of me.
But I am always writing love poems
for those who don’t deserve them,
for those who don’t even deserve
a single word in my vocabulary.
So I’ll start here by turning morbid memories
into thank you notes for everyone
who deserves more than words,
more than considerate ramblings
and who mostly deserve more than being
pushed underneath the rug of my heart
when it comes to healing.”
- "You deserve more than this," - Colleen Brown
November 11, 2014
new playlist - for you, my love
because there still isn’t enough love songs to tell you how much I care.
November 10, 2014
"I want to be remembered
as the woman who never did
give up or give in to the feeling
of never being..."
as the woman who never did
give up or give in to the feeling
of never being good enough
or never achieving exactly
what it is that she has always
dreamed about.
Remember me
as the woman who always had
too many stars in her eyes
to ever see the truth of it all,
to ever be blinded by the reality
of the cruelty in this world.
So when you think of me
I hope that you think of a hope
that was carefully written
in the sky and a dream that felt
like it was just underneath my skin.”
- "Remember me," - Colleen Brown
This mornings sky gave me enough reassurance to know that...
This mornings sky gave me enough reassurance to know that everything was going to be okay. Maybe not now, but soon.
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