Jamie Farrell's Blog, page 17

Jamie vs. The Thump

I don’t have any idea what’s up with the shadow of my glasses on my face.

I mentioned yesterday that SuperHubby took me to a military ball in downtown Montgomery the other night. We had a great time with good friends that we’ve made over the last year… and then it was time to go home.

As per our usual tradition after military balls, I drove home. But we had only gone about a mile down the road when I heard something… unusual… coming from behind me.

It was a soft thump.

I hadn’t felt myself run over anything, but it still bothered me.

And then it happened again.

Thump. Thump thump.

It wasn’t quite midnight, the streets were nearly deserted, and there was something thumping in my trunk. And y’all, it wasn’t my country music.

“So, SuperHubby,” I said hesitantly, “you don’t have somebody stashed in the trunk, do you?”

“Do I–what?”

I started to repeat my question, but he shushed me.

And then we heard it again.

Thump. Thump. Thump thump thump.

“What’s in the trunk?” I said.

“My golf clubs.” He sounded just as mystified as I was. “Do you want to pull over? Maybe it’s the tire.”

So I pulled over, on a dark street in downtown Montgomery. And SuperHubby hopped out of the car, took two steps, and said a word you’ll only see very occasionally on this blog, but not today. Then he stomped back into the passenger seat. “The ball game just got over,” he said.

Thump thump. Thump. Thump thump.

“There’s nothing wrong with our car. It’s the fireworks.”

He strapped back in, I put the car back in gear, and we went along our merry way. Until halfway home, when he stopped mid-conversation and said, “Did you seriously ask me if I had somebody in my trunk?”

Yes. Yes, I did. And I would probably do it again. Because, seriously, how often do you really get a chance to ask somebody that?

(If the answer is more than zero, and you weren’t kidding, I probably really don’t want to know. Just for the record.)

Have a great Thursday!

In the month of June, my family and I are moving! But I love you guys, so I’m giving away a surprise to one blog commenter. I don’t know what it will be (yet), but it will be fun, and it could be anything! (I’m thinking it might be related to THE HUSBAND GAMES.) Want to enter? Just comment on any blog that I post in the month of June. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest and giveaway rules here.

How To Have A Great Military Ball

My steak and potatoes

SuperHubby’s steak and… potatoes?

SuperHubby has spent the last year in a training program, and this past weekend we went to his graduation ball. We got dressed up all fancy and said goodbye to friends we’ve made over the last year.

And, because I love you all, I captured the best snippets of conversation from the night to share with you here.

“What’s wrong with your potatoes?”

“Are those handcuffs in your ears?” (Yes. Yes, they were.)

“Flash stole your butter.”

“That reminds me of an inappropriate joke I heard about potatoes.” (No, I still haven’t talked the story out of the guy who said it. But I’ll bet we could google “dirty potato jokes” and call it about the same.)

“Did you put a body in your trunk?” (More on this one tomorrow, because this story seriously deserves its own day.)

“Yes, he is the reason I write romance novels.” (Side note: This can be taken very, very wrong. It’s a good thing SuperHubby is a good sport!)

“My apologies in advance if my steak flies off my plate and hurts anyone.” (SuperHubby says my knife technique was wrong, but I think it’s far more likely that a steak knife would’ve been more appropriate than a butter knife in cutting our dinner.)

The peanut butter pie was absolutely to die for, the dresses were beautiful, and the guest speaker was a living legend. Gene Kranz led a team during the Apollo 13 mission (if you saw the movie, he was played by Ed Harris), and hearing his story first-hand was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

All in all, it was a great year, but we’re looking forward to moving on to our next adventure too!

In the month of June, my family and I are moving! But I love you guys, so I’m giving away a surprise to one blog commenter. I don’t know what it will be (yet), but it will be fun, and it could be anything! (I’m thinking it might be related to THE HUSBAND GAMES.) Want to enter? Just comment on any blog that I post in the month of June. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest and giveaway rules here.

Teaser Tuesday!

It’s been a while since we’ve talked about Mr. Good Enough, so today, I’m bringing back one of my favorite pins from over on the Mr. Good Enough Pinterest board!

Happy Tuesday, y’all! And if you don’t have your copy, get it today!

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | iBooks | Google Play

 

In the month of June, my family and I are moving! But I love you guys, so I’m giving away a surprise to one blog commenter. I don’t know what it will be (yet), but it will be fun, and it could be anything! (I’m thinking it might be related to THE HUSBAND GAMES.) Want to enter? Just comment on any blog that I post in the month of June. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest and giveaway rules here.

A Year of Happy Mondays – Ten Things I’ll Miss About The South

Today is my last day in the South. Well, maybe not my last-ever day, but my last-for-the-foreseeable-future day. So today, I’m celebrating a bunch of things that I love about the South, and I hope these bring a smile to your face too!

10. I love that the South has places like Cooters Pond Park.

We’ve lived a couple miles from this for the last year.

9. And that there are Bubba’s on every corner.

This particular Bubba’s is across the street from Cooters Pond Park. It’s across another street from Crazy Bill’s Fireworks.

8. I will miss living in a place that has spas that give away shotguns.

This sign appeared outside our neighborhood every Christmas when we lived in northern Florida

 

7. I’ll miss grits and the celebration of the grits. Seriously, y’all. Go south of the Mason-Dixon line, and you can visit the World Grits Festival and the National Grits Festival (in the Grits Capital of the World) and the Shrimps and Grits Festival. And the grits at the Fish House in Pensacola. (Oh, grits, how I will miss you!!)

6. I’ll miss armadillos. (Maybe. It’s a fun word to say, and most of the armadillos I’ve ever seen have been roadkill, but they’ve been with me for so long now, it’s hard to imagine life without them. Plus I had a lot of fun with them in Southern Fried Blues.)

5. And I’ll definitely miss Publix Supermarkets. (I know Jackson Davis‘s Mamie will bless my heart for saying this, but my Publix has The Best Fried Chicken In The South. O.M.G. Y’all. The Publix deli has it going on. LOVE that stuff.)

4. Speaking of getting my heart blessed… I’m totally going to miss those too. “Oh, honey. Bless your heart.” The mental exercise in figuring out if I’ve just been insulted or commiserated with has kept me sharp all these years. And the sayings! Southern people have a way with language. I love it!

3. I’ll miss that when SuperHubby or I tell the kids to put their shoes on to go somewhere, Munchkin will no longer legitimately be able to say, “No, Mom, I don’t have to. We live in Alabama (or Georgia or Florida).”

2. I’ll miss Southern gentlemen. (But I will always have Jackson Davis. And soon, another Southern hero, this one of the redneck-stuck-in-Bliss variety, when I start major revisions on the very rough first draft of The Battle of The Boyfriends, book two in the Misfit Brides of Bliss series.) (***And I’ll always have SuperHubby.)

1. Most of all, I’ll miss good ol’ Southern hospitality. We aren’t locals, but through four different assignments at four different Southern bases, we were always made to feel at home.

So to the Deep South of America, thank you for a great decade! We’ll come back and visit as soon as we can!

In the month of June, my family and I are moving! But I love you guys, so I’m giving away a surprise to one blog commenter. I don’t know what it will be (yet), but it will be fun, and it could be anything! (I’m thinking it might be related to THE HUSBAND GAMES.) Want to enter? Just comment on any blog that I post in the month of June. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest and giveaway rules here.

Squeaker’s Updated Naked Ninja Rules

Y’all remember a while back, when I let you in on the secret ninja rules? They looked like this:

Well, it took one day before Squeaker demonstrated that I’d missed reading the second chapter in the secret handbook of ninja rules.

What rule did he break?

Naked ninjas don’t run with scissors.

You know how every parent hopes that Darwinism wouldn’t have done their children in? I’ve gotta admit, when the phrase, “Put the scissors down before you chop off your penis!” left my mouth, I kinda wondered. I suppose this is why they live with us for eighteen to twenty-nine years, right?

Have a great Friday!

In the month of June, my family and I are moving! But I love you guys, so I’m giving away a surprise to one blog commenter. I don’t know what it will be (yet), but it will be fun, and it could be anything! (I’m thinking it might be related to THE HUSBAND GAMES.) Want to enter? Just comment on any blog that I post in the month of June. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest and giveaway rules here.

Munchkin vs. The Dairy Aisle

Back when Munchkin was about two, his favorite food in the whole wide world was blueberries. You know how toddlers and preschoolers can’t quite say words right? Munchkin’s word for blueberries was… shortened.  Without the “L” and “R” parts of the word. But we understood him, and he asked for them all the time, and he also knew where they came from.

The grocery store.

So one day, Munchkin and I were grocery shopping. I snagged my produce, then we moved on to the dairy aisle.

And that’s when Munchkin realized I hadn’t grabbed his favorite food.

Which is why my two-year-old, who was sitting right in front of a case full of milk, decided to yell, “Mommy!! We forgot the boobies!”

Lucky for him, no one remembered when his preschool class toured the grocery store two years later.

In the month of June, my family and I are moving! But I love you guys, so I’m giving away a surprise to one blog commenter. I don’t know what it will be (yet), but it will be fun, and it could be anything! (I’m thinking it might be related to THE HUSBAND GAMES.) Want to enter? Just comment on any blog that I post in the month of June. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest and giveaway rules here.

Why You Should Never Let A Man Cook

This is a chicken biscuit with bacon jam and fries. It is not what SuperHubby suggested we have for dinner.

SuperHubby was working in the garage the other night in preparation for our move. He called me out to show me his progress. “Look, honey! I cleaned out a whole bin of camping food!”

“Um,” I said, eyeballing the garbage can, “we haven’t been camping since before Munchkin was born.” (He just finished kindergarten.)

SuperHubby nodded proudly. “I know! So I got rid of the food. Well, except one thing. Two things.”

“No,” I said.

I’ve been a military wife for over a decade. I knew where this was going.

“Do we have dinner plans?” he asked.

“No.” (I wasn’t saying no to dinner plans. I was saying no to his idea for dinner plans, and he knew it.)

“There’s no expiration date,” SuperHubby said. “So they have to be good.”

“No.”

“You know, now that I think about it, there’s no manufacturing date either.”

The kids were starting to get excited, because SuperHubby was excited, and the poor dears haven’t yet learned that that’s never a good thing.

“You are not helping your case,” I told him.

“Hey, I’m just trying to get rid of stuff before we move.”

Nice try, SuperHubby, but no one in this family is eating MREs*** of indeterminate age.

(And for the record – I didn’t let him eat them either. Because men stink. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.)

In related news, I’m contemplating one more Help A Military Wife Move giveaway.

(Kidding!! I wouldn’t do that to y’all.)

***MREs, in case you don’t know, are Meals Ready to Eat. Military rations. High calorie, questionable taste, lingering aftereffects.

Happy Wednesday, y’all!

In the month of June, my family and I are moving! But I love you guys, so I’m giving away a surprise to one blog commenter. I don’t know what it will be (yet), but it will be fun, and it could be anything! (I’m thinking it might be related to THE HUSBAND GAMES.) Want to enter? Just comment on any blog that I post in the month of June. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest and giveaway rules here.

 

Teaser Tuesday – The Husband Games Edition

Two things today.

First, MR. GOOD ENOUGH is on sale for $0.99 through today only!!  You know what to do.

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | iBooks | Google Play

And second…

That’s right – THE HUSBAND GAMES is coming!!

Cover reveal: July 10
Book launch: August 7

You can already add it to your shelf at Goodreads,

and if you’re a blogger or book reviewer, you can sign up for an ARC here!

And here for you, because I promised my newsletter subscribers, and because I teased you all on Facebook last night, and because it’s been killing me to not share, I present to you…

THE HUSBAND GAMES, Chapter One

Natalie Castellano had spent the better portion of the last five years in the shadow of happily ever after. Usually it came from the family bridal boutique or the Knot Festival committee, sometimes from the five-story wedding cake monument standing guard over downtown Bliss, but today?

Today, it came from the man who had broken her fairy tale.

…

Want to read the rest of the first chapter? Click here! Happy Tuesday!

In the month of June, my family and I are moving! But I love you guys, so I’m giving away a surprise to one blog commenter. I don’t know what it will be (yet), but it will be fun, and it could be anything! (I’m thinking it might be related to THE HUSBAND GAMES.) Want to enter? Just comment on any blog that I post in the month of June. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest and giveaway rules here.

A Year of Happy Mondays – Parenthood, Part 2

Crazy kids

Because children are children, this week’s Monday smiles are ten more thing I never thought I’d say, but which are perfectly normal because of parenthood.

10. “The hula hoop is not a leash, and even if it was, you don’t drag your brother around by it.”

9. “Don’t squeeze your milk.”

8. “Mrs. Potato Head is probably the only woman on the planet who can’t be offended when people say she has junk in her trunk.”

7. “We don’t do ballet with hula hoops while we’re brushing our teeth.”

6. “Don’t point your fork at your face while you’re sneezing.”

5. “Yoda is not an appropriate toy to throw at the dinosaur on the ceiling.”

4. “Get your nose out of the door crack before it gets pinched off.”

3. “Honey, you can’t drink your milk through your ear.”

2. “Sweetheart, we don’t snuggle Daddy’s dirty socks while sucking our thumbs. Actually, just don’t snuggle Daddy’s dirty socks.”

1. “Buttercup, don’t eat the rocket.”

Happy Monday!

In the month of June, my family and I are moving! But I love you guys, so I’m giving away a surprise to one blog commenter. I don’t know what it will be (yet), but it will be fun, and it could be anything! (I’m thinking it might be related to THE HUSBAND GAMES.) Want to enter? Just comment on any blog that I post in the month of June. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest and giveaway rules here.

May Giveaway Winners!!

Welcome to June! It’s a great weekend for winners!!

Moving prep is in full swing here today, so I’m keeping it short.

The winner of the monthly blog contest for a surprise is… Amber Tinsley!

Amber’s surprise is a signed copy of Mr. Good Enough and a Cold Stone Creamery gift card! Congratulations, Amber!

 

 

And the winner of my monthly newsletter subscriber contest is… Neilliza!

Neilliza’s surprise is signed copies of both Mr. Good Enough and Southern Fried Blues, plus a My Book Boyfriend is a Redneck Rocket Scientist tote, and a couple other little surprises too. Congratulations, Neilliza!!

 

June’s a crazy month for my family. We’ve been packing for weeks (okay, SuperHubby has been packing for weeks… I’ve been managing the children and writing like crazy), and it’s about time to load our truck and head out. So I don’t know exactly what June’s monthly giveaways will be yet either, but I can promise you that it’ll be something to compensate for me feeling horrible for neglecting all of you here while we’re moving and taking a family vacation. So keep on commenting on blog posts, and I’ll have something good for you at the end of the month! As always, full contest and giveaway rules here.