Jamie Farrell's Blog, page 21

Squeaker, The Naked Ninja

The other day, Squeaker ran up to Buttercup and said, “Buttercup! Buttercup! I need you to help with the bad guy!” And the two of them ran off, Squeaker shrieking, “Ching ching! Ching!” because he was waving his imaginary sword around and fighting the bad guys.

Then I heard him say, “Buttercup! You a ninja, Buttercup! You a ninja!”

And did I mention the only thing he was wearing was a pair of safety goggles?

As his mother, I probably should’ve informed him of the basic rules of being a ninja, which I am only privy to for reasons I can’t tell you. (A few details may have been changed to protect the secret order of the ninja.)

THE TOP TEN RULES OF BEING A (NOT NAKED) NINJA

1. Ninjas wear underwear.

2. Ninjas eat their vegetables.

3. Ninjas use their inside voices when shinging people.

4. Ninjas don’t actually “shing.” They–>

5. Ninjas wipe their own bottoms.

6. Ninjas never miss the toilet.

7. Ninjas can successfully stand watch over someone in the middle of the night without waking them up. (Special note to Squeaker: That’s creepy. Please stop.)

8. Ninjas can successfully take toys from their baby sister without making said sister cry, because ninjas know how to use their manners to convince their sister she wants to surrender the toy.

9. Ninjas do not care which cereal bowl they are given or in which order the cereal, milk, and fruit are poured into the bowl or who carries the bowl to the table or if the bowl or spoon is put on the table first or if they are seated or standing when the bowl is placed on the table. They simply say thank you for the sustenance.

10. Ninjas go the *** to sleep at bedtime. Because ninjas know the value of sleep. (And the value of not pushing ninja mommies to the point of needing Samuel L. Jackson to narrate bedtime.)

There you have it. The rules of learning to be a ninja.

 

For the month of April, I’m giving away a signed copy of the winner’s choice of Southern Fried Blues or Mr. Good Enough! To enter, just leave a comment on any blog post. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest rules here.

A Year of Happy Mondays – Happy Bunny Edition

Happy new week! Hope your weekend treated you wonderfully and that you don’t have a sugar hangover. Not that I have a sugar hangover… Let’s get to smiling, shall we?

The Top Ten Things To Smile About Post-Easter Weekend

10. Hart of Dixie (Y’all! Southern and fun!! If you haven’t seen it, check it out.)

9. Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs

8. That there’s a bacon festival! (I am *so* going to this next year.)

7. That SuperHubby folds the laundry.

6. Sleeping in

5. That Carmen on Facebook named this guy the Yeaster Bunny.

4. My clucking Cadbury bunny.

(Yes, I know, I mentioned this guy last week. But that was before SuperHubby got sneaky and gave me one!)

3. Robin Egg lipstick

2. Sheet tents in the living room

(Squeaker and Munchkin snuck out of their rooms at bedtime to climb into this and were actually quiet enough to fool me for a whole three minutes.)

1. Squeaker singing Miranda Lambert’s “Mama’s Broken Heart.”

What’s making you smile today?

 

For the month of April, I’m giving away a signed copy of the winner’s choice of Southern Fried Blues or Mr. Good Enough! To enter, just leave a comment on any blog post. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest rules here.

If It’s Friday, It’s Time To Help This Military Wife Again!

I love Fridays. Because Fridays mean…

WINNER WINNER!!

And this week’s winner of last week’s Help A Military Wife Move Giveaway, as chosen by random.org, is…. CYN!!

Congratulations, Cyn!!

 

 

So how about another giveaway?

This bundle here has a couple of my very favorite books in it, and I’m counting on you all to help me find new good homes for them.

Want to enter? Just comment below and tell me your favorite TV show! Winner announced next week!

For the month of April, I’m giving away a signed copy of the winner’s choice of Southern Fried Blues or Mr. Good Enough! To enter, just leave a comment on any blog post. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest rules here.

Teaser Thursday

One day until the weekend, but today’s the last day to get MR. GOOD ENOUGH on sale for $0.99! Hurry hurry!

And just for kicks, as a thank you for dropping by today, here’s a little snippet from Mr. Good Enough!

Trent had been a lot of things since leaving his hometown of Wendell Springs, Illinois, but dead was not one of them. Hell, if he’d known, he wouldn’t have bothered coming back. Easy to forget his problems if he were dead.

But despite the insane story Maddie told him, he hadn’t died in a car crash in Vegas six years ago, nor of anything else anytime before or after.

Insane also described Maddie pretty well. He remembered her from high school. Lots of girls had mooned over him, but Maddie was the only one who’d offered to do his math homework, breezed through the hard questions, but made dumb mistakes on the easy ones. Would’ve been cute if she hadn’t been a Mason.

He dropped his head in his hands. “So everybody thinks I’m dead.”

“Yep,” Maddie said. “Well, except Abel. He thinks you’re a zombie. You think maybe the next time you see him, you could sort of stick your arms out and moan “braaaiinns,” at him? Things have been a little slow around here lately.”

 

Intrigued? Snag your copy today!

And remember – last day to enter last week’s Help-A-Military-Wife-Move giveaway!

For the month of April, I’m giving away a signed copy of the winner’s choice of Southern Fried Blues or Mr. Good Enough! To enter, just leave a comment on any blog post. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest rules here.

Squeaker vs. The Cat

This is Saffron. Also known as The Butter Licker. (Don’t ask.) (Just trust me.) Also known as my special snuggle buddy, because she likes to cuddle.

One of Saffron’s tricks is climbing up the side of the bed under the cloak of darkness. Or, alternately, climbing up the side of the bed under the cloak of the sheets and comforter.

 She’s done this trick off and on for most of the almost eight years we’ve had the cats, so I’m accustomed (enough) to the scratchy-scratchy noise that precedes a furry body slithering up over my legs. Which means that the other morning, when I heard a scratchy-scratchy noise, and then felt something warm poke my sheets, I assumed it was Saffron.

It wasn’t.

Nope, it was Squeaker, at 5:45 AM, flying his Transformer jet into my covers.

Never a dull moment. Never.

For the month of April, I’m giving away a signed copy of the winner’s choice of Southern Fried Blues or Mr. Good Enough! To enter, just leave a comment on any blog post. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest rules here.

Because Giveaways Make Every Tuesday Better

Happy Tuesday, y’all!

If you haven’t heard… Jennie Marts and I are having a giveaway today! Actually, we’re having multiple giveaways!

First – we’re each hosting giveaways on Facebook! One lucky person who enters on Jennie’s Facebook page will win both Jennie’s Another Saturday Night and I Ain’t Got Nobody and my Mr. Good Enough, and one lucky person who enters on my Facebook page will win the same!

(They’re both on sale for $0.99! I’ve mentioned that, right?)

Here’s Jennie’s giveaway on Facebook: CLICK HERE!!

And my giveaway on Facebook: CLICK HERE TOO!!

Second, because I love you all so much for stopping by here, everyone who comments on this post today will be entered to win a $5 gift card to Amazon! Hooray for giveaways!! Winner drawn Wednesday morning!

And third, if you like paper books, remember to enter last Friday’s Help-a-Military-Wife-Move giveaway! (And stop by often, because I still have lots of books in need of good homes.)

And finally… For the month of April, I’m giving away a signed copy of the winner’s choice of Southern Fried Blues or Mr. Good Enough! To enter, just leave a comment on any blog post. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest rules here.

A Year of Happy Mondays – Pre-Easter Edition

Even though Easter’s late this year, I can’t believe it’s already coming up! How about you? Are you ready?

I’m excited! Some of my favorite things pop up this time of year. (#8 and #5 and #2 are some of my particular favorites.) So let’s get to smiling!

Top Ten Things To Smile About The Monday Before Easter

10. Sleeping with the windows open

9. Bunny ears

8. Cadbury Mini Eggs (And on a related note, it’s been a dream of mine to own a clucking Cadbury bunny for as long as I can remember. Y’all remember those commercials? They cracked me up!!)

7. My totally inappropriate “Next Big Thing in Romance” predictions.

6. Babies in dresses

5. This cartoon:

(It’s been around as long as I’ve been on the internet! If someone knows who to attribute this to, please let me know!)

4. The White House Easter Egg Roll

(Munchkin and I got to go four years ago when SuperHubby was deployed. We saw the Glee kids perform before I knew who they were. Totally neat experience!)

3. Minion eggs!! (Seriously, y’all, this Pin is adorable!)

2. These two bunnies. We stuff ‘em full of jelly beans, and then when we squeeze, the bunnies “poop.”

My grandma gave us these. They’ve seen better days.

(SuperHubby says I’m not right. I say these are family heirlooms, since I’ve had them since I was about seven, and he needs to lighten up.)

1. And for this week’s smiling song, I present to you a family favorite: The Duck Song

Have a fabulous week, y’all!

For the month of April, I’m giving away a signed copy of the winner’s choice of Southern Fried Blues or Mr. Good Enough! To enter, just leave a comment on any blog post. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest rules here.

 

Winners and The Next Help-A-Military-Wife-Move Giveaway

Hey, y’all! We have a winner from last week’s giveaway, and I have another giveaway for you today, but first–
MR. GOOD ENOUGH is on SALE!!

If you missed it last time it was on sale, grab it now!! Share the love and tell all your friends before it goes back up to regular price!!!

Buy it now at Amazon!

The next fun Friday news–

You can enter to win a signed copy of Mr. Good Enough at Goodreads this weekend!

 

Goodreads Book Giveaway


Mr Good Enough
by Jamie Farrell

Giveaway ends April 13, 2014.

See the giveaway details

at Goodreads.

Enter to win

 

While you’re there, add Mr. Good Enough to your to-read list! And then you can add The Husband Games to your to-read list! (More information on THE HUSBAND GAMES coming soon!)

Still with me?

WINNER WINNER!!

Congratulations to Endora!! Random.org picked her as the winner for last week’s Help A Military Wife Move giveaway!!

Congratulations, Endora!!

And, finally….

I have MORE BOOKS in need of a new home!!

Want to win? Comment below! Winner announced next Friday.

Have an awesome weekend!

(And remember – Mr. Good Enough is on sale!! Tell a friend!)

For the month of April, I’m giving away a signed copy of the winner’s choice of Southern Fried Blues or Mr. Good Enough! To enter, just leave a comment on any blog post. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest rules here.

Life with Squeaker

SuperHubby just popped in and said to me, “You need to watch Squeaker. He keeps trying to put noodles in his pants.”

“Whaaa..??” I replied.

“Yeah. It’s those multicolored rainbow sticks,” SuperHubby said. “You know. The ones he likes to shing people with.”

Gotta love three-year-olds. They’re so far out of the box, they don’t even know it exists.

Have an awesome Thursday!

 

For the month of April, I’m giving away a signed copy of the winner’s choice of Southern Fried Blues or Mr. Good Enough! To enter, just leave a comment on any blog post. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest rules here.

Writer Wednesday!

Busy times in the Farrell household! Move prep (remember to enter my book giveaway!), kids keeping us busy, and I’m writing writing writing! So, how about a sneak peek at some of that writing? Yes?

Wherein we meet CJ, our intrepid hero in The Husband Games, Misfit Brides of Bliss Book One…

 

Anybody want to guess what CJ’s “gift” is? (Seriously, y’all, I’m sitting here cackling. I can’t WAIT to share this book with you.) And you know what’s awesome? The Husband Games is listed on Goodreads, so you can add it to your bookshelf today!

For the month of April, I’m giving away a signed copy of the winner’s choice of Southern Fried Blues or Mr. Good Enough! To enter, just leave a comment on any blog post. The more blogs you comment on, the more chances you have to win! Limit one entry per post, though feel free to comment as much as you wish! Full contest rules here.