Bart King's Blog, page 262

Ooh! Want to Read from the Worst Book in the World?

No, it's not by me. Sheesh!



In the early 1800s, a Scot named Angus McDiarmid visited a local lord's estate. Impressed, he wrote a book in tribute: Striking and Picturesque Delineations of the Grand, Beautiful, Wonderful, and Interesting Scenery Around Loch-Earn. 

This book was such an amazing example of bad writing and sucking up, McDiarmid earned a nomination to the title of "the world's worst author." How bad was it? Following is just the dedication, and talk about suck-ups! (Just click "...

"Psst! Want a mustache transplant?"

Facial hair is incredibly fun. Don't believe me? Heck there's even a section in Bart's King-Sized Book of Fun dedicated to this idea:

Have you ever seen a man with muttonchops? A guy with a goatee? Some dudes with Fu Manchus?

Well, it turns out that all these people have a GREAT sense of humor!

I mean, they HAVE to . . . otherwise, they're growing weird beards because they think it looks GOOD. But that's impossible. Therefore, men with facial hair must have black belts in fun!

Mustaches are SO a...

Reading: It's an Adventure!

Asleep in Iorio's catbird seat., originally uploaded by Bart King.

How the World's Biggest Chocolate Bar Makes Us Stupid

Have you ever seen a giant skyscraper, a mighty waterfall, or a colossal pair of socks? The more gigantic something is, the more likely that onlookers will say something really dopey, like: "Wow, that's a really big waterfall."





Does it have giant peanuts?

I like peanuts!
And as I read this story about the new world's biggest chocolate bar, the phrase came to my mind: "Sheesh, that's one BIG chocolate bar!"



And right after that, I thought, "Duh!"

Warming Up the Blurb-o-matic!

Over at the Rumpus.net, writer Mickey Hess makes a wonderful offer:

Tired of waiting weeks or even MONTHS for back-cover endorsements from recognizable authors? I, Mickey Hess, will blurb any book – that's right, ANY book – within 24 hours!

Intrigued? Me too! I contacted Mr. Hess, and he obligingly obliged to write a blurb for Bart's King-Sized Book of Fun.



Then I sat back and waited with bated breath. After feverishly checking my e-mail a few times, I was forced to exhale.



Then inhale.



And...

That's a thought!

Roadside haiku by John Morse:

Build personal wealth

In the comfort of your home!

Read to your children.

From here.

What Makes a Good Dancer? Vitamins!

Wow, scientists says that good dancing is a sign of male health! That means two things:

1.) Dance music is HEALTH music!

2.) I am doomed.



You HAVE to see the video that does with this BBC story; it's over here.

Back in My Day...

...kids obeyed the laws of gravity. Also, we weren't very flexible, and we were afraid of falling and breaking our faces.



Things sure have changed!

My Suggestion:

Just take it easy today!

Do you like action? This has action.

Films made in India are sometimes called "Bollywood" movies. What follows is a clip from a Bollywood movie called Magadheera. I haven't seen the whole thing yet, but based on this clip, it's pretty awesome. (If you're squeamish, look away at the end when the hero throws his sword!)