R.J. Blain's Blog, page 52
January 19, 2020
Shammed Audiobook, a new Preorder, (It’s something special, y’all!) and Other News from the Trenches.
Dear humans,
The female bought us a present. It’s a television stand with a fireplace built in, and when she flips the magical switch, it makes us warm! We like it very much. She also put our laser pointer toy on the Booze Shelf, and they keep turning it on for us! We’re having a great time.
P.S.: The humans are not raging alcoholics. They just collect fancy bottles of booze, and they sometimes drink them. The one with the pinkish-purple top is the female’s.
Next week, she gets a new desk...
January 10, 2020
For Authors: Advertising, Market Research, and Ad Targeting. A Cat’s Guide to Losing Your Sanity in Several Easy Steps.
Dear humans,
Today, the female has asked me to give the Furred & Frond’s opinion on market research, advertising, and stuff like that to other authors hoping to build a viable career for their books. Honestly, we started laughing when she said that. Then we realized she was serious, and we stopped laughing.
Advertising, understanding the market, and basically… anything to do with the publishing industry is a work-in-progress, much like the progress of the female’s crochet project. She is...
January 2, 2020
It is official. The female has lost it.
Dear Human Female Named Kate,
We of the Furred & Frond Management do not like you very much right now. Because of you, the female has invested in yarn. Yarn we are not allowed to play with. While the female gave us her first crafting, we do not find this offering as nice as the yarn.
That she won’t let us have.
She scolds us if we approach the yarn, so we have learned to grudgingly leave it alone. Very grudgingly.
She has three bags of yarn, one big box filled with yarn, and a new package of...
January 1, 2020
From the Department of Unsolicited Advice: A Cat’s Guide to Having a Good 2020.
Dear 2020,
We come in peace. Please put away the Molotov cocktails, the chainsaw, and… is that a whip?
We come in peace. We come in peace.
I’m totally curious about that whip, though. Will it smack the male human? The female human? Are they supposed to like it?
Anyway, 2019 came in like a wrecking ball for many of our fans and the female’s readers. We’re sorry about that. We challenged it. We have learned our lesson.
As 2019 was so vicious to many, the female requested that we write a post...
December 29, 2019
A Cat Answers Human Questions.
Dear humans,
The female is totally done with today, so you get to be tortured by yours truly. I’m so cute you don’t mind though, do you?
Suckers.
Some humans had questions for the female, but I will be answering them.
Q: Purple or Orange Yarn?
A: Both are equally fun to play with. Thank you for asking. (The female is working on a purple blanket at the moment, in case you were wondering. It looks awful, and I enjoy making fun of her pitiful efforts. She’s quite proud of it, so pretend it...
December 28, 2019
License to Kill/Wild Wolf now available for Preorder at Barnes & Nobles, a Q&A Session, and a picture of the humans in the icy wilds of Sunnyvale, California.
Dear humans,
Today, the female went curling. I am exposing evidence of her as an actual rather… ungroomed… human. Post falling on her ass several times while flinging a 45 pound stone across frozen water.
You may laugh. I certainly did. In case you are not certain which one the female is, she is wearing the What the Fox? shirt. Yes, the scruffy looking nerfherder is the male. She likes her male scruffy.
You can’t have my humans. They belong to me. I allow my sister to sometimes claim...
December 24, 2019
State of the Blain Address: Updated Preorder List, List of Current/New Releases
Dear humans!
Here is your one stop shop for new and upcoming releases by the female! With a bonus adorable picture of yours truly.
The female is tired. As soon as Steel Heart unlocks, she will be updating it. Die Hard is playing in the background while she works.
Enjoy the list!
New ReleasesOctober 31, 2019: Bat out of Hell (Bernadette Franklin) ($3.99)
Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Apple Books | Kobo | Google Play
*Audiobook Production in Progress.
November 5, 2019: Ginger Snapped (Bernadette...
December 23, 2019
New Preorders, Chaos.
Dear humans,
Look at all of the zoom zooms lined up, waiting for their chance to be flying zoom zooms! The female has been hard at work doing everything EXCEPT write, and she feels like this line of zoom zooms waiting to go flying.
It took almost an hour for all the zoom zooms to the flying portion of their day. This was taken in Las Vegas when the female was flying with the male to return home where they belong.
(How dare they leave us earlier this month? Those fiends.)
The Female is an...December 22, 2019
Migraines suck, humans.
Dear humans,
In good news, Blood Bound is currently 52,300 words long. It is a good length novel. The female is having much fun.
In bad news, Blood Bound is feral, it releases in late January, and as such, she’s going to just have to commit to two novels because all of the things that she wants to do cannot be accomplished by 100,000 words.
What a pity.
The female is so sad about this. Honestly, she doesn’t even care about the preorder counts at this point. She loves Blood Bound. If she...
December 21, 2019
Karma-Karma-Karma-Karma-Karma Chameleeeeoonnn! Blending In is on Sale! (And other stuff inside.)
Isn’t Miriah adorable? Dear humans,
As promised, Blending In is now on sale! You can grab your copy from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Apple Books, and Google Play! Blending In is also available as an audiobook, and you can download it from Audible, Kobo, iTunes, Google Play, and a bucketload of other places. (It’s one of the flagship audiobooks available for expanded distribution. The female has no idea what she’s doing. She’s flailing. But, the audiobook IS available in the wilds for your...
