R.J. Blain's Blog, page 49

March 31, 2020: Send cookies. Spike them with Vodka.

Dear humans,

Please enjoy this picture of a mountain road cutting through the Sierras. It is pretty. The female enjoyed the drive.

Send cookies, and spike them with vodka. The female is having a day. She needs to get writing done and editing completed, but she wants to go back to bed and have a do-over.

Honestly, you could just send the vodka. It would only take a shot to knock her off her ass. She doesnt handle liquor well at all.

Huh. Actually, skip the vodka. Those in a drunken stupor...

March 30, 2020: Has it really been two weeks already? Life, The Universe, and Everything… plus some books.

Dear humans,

This is an accurate representation of the Blain Household at current. The female would be the one sitting on the male, and yes, I still do sit on Princess as I see fit. If I fits, I sits!

There is so much of Princess for me to sit upon.

It is difficult to comprehend that the humans have been home for two weeks with very little respite.

The female is sick with something. She woke up early not feeling well, and no amount of coffee (that she shouldnt be having) can save her at this...

March 29, 2020: In Which the Female Tried to Teleport Us All into 2030. She tried, we’re sorry she failed.

Dear humans,

Have a picture of my sister laying claim to the new hammock cat tree. This one is hers, and it goes where the male usually works during the day. My sister has, however, decided to sit near me while I work on this missive for your enjoyment.

In my hammock.

Bitch.

Anyway, the female has made a to-do list. It is rather scary. She really wants to hit her word count goal for the day, as it will get her substantially closer to her goal for March! (She might even conquer March today if...

March 28, 2020: Do not wash your food with dish soap, please, plus other life tips from the Sneaky Kitty Critic. And books, because books.

Dear humans,

Dish soap is a poison. It is not meant to be digested. Please ignore that this specific bottle of dish soap is actually an import from Canada. It moved with the female and the male, and they insist on refilling it from the bulk ones. Its like the gift that keeps on giving.

The warning labels are still legitimate. This is from Palmolive. Every type of dish soap the female owns has a similar warning.

Dish soap is poison, humans. It should not be used on your food.

A sponge that...

March 27, 2020: License to Kill is a feral jerk of a book!

Dear humans,

Coffee might be the only thing keeping the female trudging along at this point. License to Kill is out for blood, and it wants the females. It might get what it wants at this stage.

In other news, a politician proved to be useful! (Well just give you a minute to get over the shock.) The female forgot she needed to renew the car registration. The politician sent out a notice stating they were delaying deadlines by 90 days to help curb the spread of the virus.

The female thus...

March 26, 2020: We meet again, Thursday. News from the Writing Trenches, a Book Review, and more!

Paint me like one of your French girls.

The female is in a mood this week, and its really, really scary, humans. First, the male asked why the female was having coffee. She may have said So I dont kill you today or something along those lines.

The male poured her coffee, and he seemed potentially concerned about the demon that has taken the females place.

He might survive assuming she gets done everything on her list for a change.

She really wants to hit her March wordcount goal, which is...

March 25, 2020: Sha-la-la, Sha-la-la, hey! Another review (surprise!) and other news from the Blain Household.

Dear humans,

The female is sad. Her birthday concert to see Garth Brooks was date changed. She can no longer go to it. But, the female is CLEVER.

She accidentally wandered to ticket master ten minutes before a Garth show was opening for ticket sales in Vegas. LOOK AT THAT SECTION, HUMANS. LOOK AT THAT SECTION.

She was in the nose bleeds for her birthday concert.

These are not nosebleed seats. These are front section of stadium seats! Mid-level of the front section! Close to the stage! Hes...

March 24, 2020: Shenanigans, a Book Review, Bwuh?

Dear humans,

Its morning.

We definitely dont approve.

The female has a great deal of work to do today, and shes behind on basically everything. She needs to make a week magically appear so she can focus on a clients book, too. She thinks shell get a full week she can dedicate after shes done Grave Humor.

Grave Humor, at least, is moving along nicely.

We wont lie, humans. The female has totally bitten off more than she can chew, but shes up for the challenge despite the challenge possibly...

March 23, 2020 Shenanigans: A Review, A Cover Reveal, and News from the Trenches, and Other Tales from the Blain Household.

Hi, the male says to Princess the Understudy, who is trying to meld with her preferred human. Im chilling on the kitty hammock watching the shenanigans. Princess is very desperate this morning.

Shes probably afraid the male will have to return to work.

The female loves the male dearly, but right now, they all wish for more space. Moving isnt an option. The females doctor is like you stay home, you dont get plague, stay healthy. The plague would not be good for you, little female.

It is now...

Shenanigans in the Upcoming Days!

Dear humans,

The female asked if we would remove ourselves from her gut this morning. This was our opinion of her request. We then had a fight on her chest to establish dominance. She made delightful grunty noises. We had a good time. She didnt.

The female has requested that we provide entertainment for those stuck at home. As such, we are doing the following:

1: We will continue to do a daily read along of various books in the Fantasy Worlds of RJ Blain Facebook Group. Right now, were...