Penny Watson's Blog, page 61

Elves and Magik

The countdown has begun for the digital release of Sweet Magik! This Friday, November 4, Oskar Klaus and his brothers will be visiting Penelope's, and giving away an adorable holiday necklace and a copy of my latest installment of the Klaus Brothers Series.
In the meantime, I thought I would post an excerpt about the other cool dude in this book. He's short, he's conflicted, he's got pointy ears.....yep, he's an elf. Ingo plays an integral part of this story. And so does the magic of the North Pole. Here's an excerpt from Sweet Magik to introduce you to Ingo and the magical mayhem of Glasdorf.....


              Ingo pawed through a stack of old books in the library. He hadn't bothered to turn on a lamp. Thin shards of moonlight filtered through the dusty windows and cast an unearthly glow around the room.              "Where the hell did I put it? It's got to be here somewhere." Finally he spied a teetering pile by the desk and the thick tome at the bottom looked familiar.             "Ah, got it!" He pushed the tower, scattering manuscripts on the floor. Carefully, he lifted the gold-edged book, brushing cobwebs off the leather bindings. It had been scores of years since he had the occasion to look at this volume. Even after all of this time, bits of light buzzed off the ragged edges of the spine, reminding him how powerful the Zauberwort Buch really was.            He held the ancient tome in a shaft of light, illuminating the faded pages.             What are you gonna do, Ingo Hertz? Verboten. Verboten. The magik of our ancestors is a sacred responsibility. Not to be used in an inappropriate manner. Not to be used for personal gain, vengeance, or evil intent.             The voice of Master Eugen echoed in his head.             His callused fingers hesitated over the book. Then the image of Lys struggling to free herself from Per's grip popped into his mind. He flipped open the tome and a long sigh was released into the air. Swirls of dust laced with magik funneled upward from the yellowed-pages and disappeared into the darkness.              The Zauberwort Buch jumped from his hands and started to hop across the floor. Ingo could tell the magik was warming up, getting ready for mischief. Eugen taught all of the elves of Glasdorf that the magik must be reined in; its natural course was to "run toward trouble." He would shout "Dicke Luft!" (trouble's brewing) as streams of unrestrained magik swirled throughout the classroom, teasing the students, attempting to incite them.              Ingo distinguished himself from an early age as a Magik Bändiger, or magik tamer. Only certain elves were capable of this feat. It required the ability to trick the magik, which was extremely difficult. Magik was crafty and cunning and had a mind of its own. Tricking it at its own game entailed complex strategies depending on the energy involved. Ingo always enjoyed devising traps for the runaway magik, and then sitting back to watch the inevitable downfall.                        Master Eugen had been disappointed that he had not apprenticed as a Bändiger, but the Hertz family had a long and distinguished history as woodworkers, and Ingo's talent with the wood rivaled his talent with the magik.             Ingo felt the familiar thrill of power course through him as he dove for the book, grappling with it as it snapped at his fingers.              "Halt!" he barked at the irksome Buch. Too bad these spells don't work on elves, or I'd give Per a night he would never forget. The elfin magik worked on the human population, but not on other elves. It was a built-in protection for their well-being.             Fumbling in the darkness, he found a candle on his desk and lit it. He carefully pulled apart the dusty pages of the book until he found a section entitled Herz Magik, Heart Magik. He nodded as he perused the ancient spells, searching for one he remembered from long ago. Once he located the enchantment, he knocked about his house collecting various items...scraps of paper, more candles, a newspaper article, a button, and finally a page ripped from his new calendar in the kitchen.             Ingo placed the Zauberwort Buch in the center of his desk, opened to a spell called Zottig Herz (Ragged Heart). First he scribbled his name and Oskar's onto a piece of paper and placed it on the tome. Then, he took the calendar insert and held it over the flickering flame of the candle, scorching the date January first, just above the image of a crescent moon. He searched the calendar for the full moon. January eleventh. Eleven days of misery. He singed the square marked eleven, blackening the plump full moon.             Ingo rubbed the mother-of-pearl button in his callused fingers and reverently placed it atop the book. Then the article, torn from a Klaus Enterprise newsletter. Every spare candle in his home was scattered on the tabletop, looking like a collection of ominous stalagmites. He took a deep breath and swallowed the last of the liquor from his flask. The empty container fell to the ground, clattering on the floor.            Ingo began to recite the words, dictated centuries ago. For one brief moment, his voice wavered as he thought of Lys and her sweet smiling face. She was all goodness and light, and he knew she would not approve of this act of vengeance. But the images of Wiebe's laughing face and Per tugging at Lys' waist swirled inside his brain and his voice gained momentum as the ancient words rolled off his tongue. Again and again he uttered the spell, until he collapsed in a drunken stupor on the floor. As he fell into a foggy slumber, Ingo could hear the Zauberwort Buch rattling on the table, brimming with mischief.            


I was inspired by elfin things this weekend, and created a special Etsy treasury list. Please enjoy "It's The Elfin Apocalypse!" (I know, I know....I have an Etsy problem. So shoot me!) 
Happy Monday!Penelope

Beard Of The Day

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As you all know, I am not a huge fan of the whole Twilight movie fiasco. However, I definitely took a second look when Mr. Robert Pattinson decided to grow a nice, distinguished-looking beard. (No sparkles in sight!). In fact, if Rob popped on a plaid shirt (which he often wears) and grabbed an axe, he could probably fit right in with a rough-n-tumbly gang of lumberjacks.

Grade for the beard......A+
Grade for the sparkly movie....F

Have a great weekend!
Penelope

I'm Not Going To Die? Well, Hell

I made a startling discovery this week. I've spent the last 14 months thinking that I could keel over and die at any moment. Even though I "recovered" from my heart attack, lost 40 pounds, take all my meds, reversed my diabetes diagnosis, and walk 2 hours a day, I was still paranoid. I was living in "survivor mode." Every day was about staying alive. Exercise, meds, strict diet, low stress.

This week I realized I'm not going to die.

Well, hell. Now what do I do?

Seriously.

Survivor mode was actually pretty easy. You just take it day by day. "I'm Not Gonna Die" mode is much more complicated. I have to think about the future. What are my career plans? Travel plans? Where should I live, what should I do, does my ass look good in these Carhartts? (the answer to that last question is yes!)

So, I am feeling somewhat discombobulated right now. This is not an easy transition. I have a lot of ideas floating around in my brain, and somehow I need to settle them down and work out a plan of action.

First on the list is to decide which WIP to finish. I have 4 on the back-burner, and 3 new story ideas that popped up in the last several weeks just to torture me. Cripes.

In the meantime, I just started reading The Blond Leading The Blond ....a cute, well-written mystery by Jayne Ormerod.

So, for today's to-do list I have.....

1. Do laundry
2. Water plants
3. Figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life

It's gonna be a fun day!
Penelope

Magic & Witches & Romance Writers, Oh My!

18th Annual ConferenceNew England Chapter of Romance Writers of America ®April 27-28, 2012, Hawthorne HotelSalem, Massachusetts
★   Fabulous Speakers   ★   Exciting Workshops   ★   Historic Location   ★★   Individual Editor & Agent Appointments   ★   Literacy Book Signing   ★★   Ghost Hunt   ★   Psychic Fair & Cocktail Party   ★
FEATURED SPEAKERSMICHAEL HAUGE   Story and script consultant, author and lecturer. Author of Selling Your Story In 60 Seconds: The Guaranteed Way To Get Your Screenplay Or Novel Read.MARIE FORCE   Bestselling author of contemporary romance and romantic suspense, including the McCarthys of Gansett Island and Fatal Series.KRISTAN HIGGINS   NYT and USA Today best-selling author and 2-time winner of the RWA RITA ® award.
AGENT AND EDITOR APPOINTMENTS:★ CRITIQUES OF THE FIRST 10 PAGES WILL BE GIVEN TO EARLY REGISTRANTS ★AGENTS: Alyssa Henkin (Trident Media Group LLC), Susannah Taylor (Richard Henshaw Group), Emmanuelle Morgen (Judith Ehrlich Literary), Carlie Webber (Jane Rotrosen Agency)EDITORS:  Megan Records (Kensington Brava), Susan Litman (Harlequin Silhouette), Steph Murray (Crescent Moon)
EARLY REGISTRATION December 1-January 15, $189 (NEC members), $209 (non-members)REGULAR REGISTRATION January 16-April 6, $199 (NEC members), $219 (non-members)MEALS ONLY $99EXTRA WORKSHOP (1-5:30 pm, Friday April 27): Michael Hauge, $35

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Doesn't this sound great????? Mark it on your calendars. It's a wonderful 2-day conference set in charming Salem, Massachusetts. Great schmoozing, great speakers, great martinis, and most importantly.....world-famous Penelope is giving her talk "Penelope Channels Miss Manners: How To Promote Yourself Without Peeving Everyone Off." You don't want to miss it!


Registration starts Dec. 1. I will post links when they are available.




Polishing her martini glass,
Penelope

Are You Trying To Kill Me?

I am continuing with the Cheapie/Freebie Reading Challenge. Whispering Rock , by Robyn Carr, was only $5.04 for Kindle. I loved the second book of this series, Shelter Mountain , so I thought I would give this one a try (it's #3).

Oh, Lord have mercy on my soul!

Within the first couple of chapters, there is a brutal rape and beating, then a teenage drugging and date rape, then a teenage pregnancy and miscarriage, and a couple of STDs thrown in for good measure.

.....curling......up.....in......fetal......position.......

Um.....um......must.....have......unicorns.....and.....rainbows......

DNF. Couldn't take it. I don't mind heavy stuff if it's interspersed with some hope, light, sweetness, and humor is especially good. This was way too much heavy stuff piled up on top of each other, with no light at the end of the tunnel.

Onto other topics....

* I discovered a new website called Lumberjack Erotica! (There's your unicorn, baby!). There is a lot of plaid, axes, and beardy dudes. Super epic win!

* Yesterday, my 8 year old daughter asked me how to do something on the computer. I wasn't sure. She called my son (14) who proceeded with this convoluted explanation...."Hit shift, then control, then command, then number four, then cut, then paste....." He lost me at "shift." Anyhoo, after he totally schooled me with his computer know-how, I tried to redeem myself by showing my daughter how to change fonts and colors on the document. She rolled her eyes at me and said in an exasperated voice, "Mom, I knew how to do that years ago." Well, okay then. I suck.

* For more unicorns, rainbows, and little green aliens, check out RJ Silver's new shop on his website. I especially love the Shlongdia shirts! Hee hee......

* And finally, Oskar Klaus and his brothers will be visiting my blog next week, to celebrate the ebook release of  Sweet Magik . We will be giving away a copy of the book, as well as this adorable necklace (from Etsy! hee hee).....


Contest/giveaway and celebration with the Klaus Brothers will happen November 4th. Hope to see you there!


Believe (in Santa, in lumberjacks, in unicorns),
Penelope ❅☺☀♡❉✿

Good Coming And Going

I have one single goal for my weight loss now. 
It's not about trying to look good in a bikini. (Those days a longggggg over).
It's not about trying to fit into my old jeans. (I already fit into my old jeans).
It's not about buying some mini skirt with thigh high boots. (heee heeee)
It's about these pants. Carhartt pants. I want a pair of Carhartt pants.
You're probably thinking.....what the hell is wrong with Penelope? Why would she want a pair of work pants? Well, let me tell you a story.....
A long time ago when I was just a young whipper snapper, I went to grad school. Not for creative writing or landscape design or art history. I went to turf school. What is turf school? Well, I actually went to Cornell and got a masters degree in turfgrass science. There's a science to turfgrass? Well, evidently there is. On the positive side, I also got a degree in plant taxonomy and took all the hort sci classes I wanted to, got paid, and was lucky enough to live in Ithaca, NY, which is a fabulous place. On the down side, it was just me and 10,000 dudes wearing Carhartt pants. (Not a lot of women in the turfgrass industry). Nevertheless, I persevered, got an advanced degree, and developed a fondness for Carhartt pants. These pants are tough, rugged, and indestructible. They will survive a New England winter, a small weenie dog, and several rambunctious children. 
Most importantly, they look good coming and going....see Exhibit B......
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There is nothing finer than a guy wearing a pair of Carhartt pants. And nothing cooler than a chick who can carry them off. Me! Me! I can do it!
If I can lose enough weight, I am convinced that I will be able to wear these pants and look totally bad-ass. Indestructible.
So, that's my goal. 
Some women might have a picture of a string bikini on their closet door to inspire them to lose weight. I have a picture of some Carhartt pants.
Dreaming of khaki,Penelope

I Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself....

"All a writer really needs is people who read."
--Charles P. Pierce


Happy Sunday!Penelope

Beard Of The Day

I thought it would be appropriate if today's beardy dude was inspired by a horror movie. I have been watching an incredible number of horror movies over the last couple of weeks. The Underworld series, in particular, is being shown repeatedly.

Lucian is a nice hairy Lycan, brought to life by the actor Michael Sheen. He is quite the bad-ass. Of course, his beard is nothing compared to his werewolf form.....


Now, that's hairy!


Hope everyone has a great weekend and enjoys the plethora of horror movies!
Penelope

Young At Heart

It's recently come to my attention that I appear to be the oldest living romance blogger on the face of the earth.

I just assumed that some of the "crew" were in the "40-something" range with me. Then I realized the "old guard" was actually in the 30-something range. And the "young guard" was in the 20-something range. And there were even youngsters who are only slightly older than my own children. There are some bloggers who were NOT EVEN BORN YET while I was wearing shoulder pads and dancing to Janet Jackson songs in high school.

I know that some of my friends ("contemporaries," if you will) consider my obsession with romantic fiction to be unsavory. Unbecoming of a woman of my age and station in life. They can't understand how an ivy league-educated scientist ended up reading romance novels and listening to Britney.

Well, either can I. Sometimes I feel my age when the young whipper-snapper bloggers are all chatting on twitter with their abbreviations that I totally don't understand. Many of them are still in school, still care about fashion accessories, and get the whole "Twilight" thing. I know I am sadly out of touch with this generation, but I refuse to go down without a fight.

I might not be the youngest, or the hippest (or even close to the hippest) romance blogger on the block, but at least I can still read! My eyes are showing some signs of fatigue, but they're still in working order.

Just so you know, I don't actually look like this.....



I actually look like this....

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(I know, there's an actress who bears an uncanny likeness to me. Or so I've been told).

My point, after this rambling post, is that it doesn't really matter if you're young or old or look like Kate Beckinsale.

Reading romance will keep you young at heart. Forever.

(Especially if you're a vampire and you're immortal.)


With a spring in my step, and bifocals on the end of my nose,
Penelope

Just In Case There's Some Confusion...

Yesterday's post got me thinking. Maybe there is some confusion about "real men" vs. "weenies."

Just to clear up a few things, here is a handy-dandy directory for anyone at Harlequin who thinks a Blackberry-using, weenie executive is manly. Ready?

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Real Man

Weenie Executive


Real Man


Weenie


Real Man In A Cowboy Hat

You Need More Than A Plaid Shirt, Dude. WAY more.

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Real Man


Two Weenies


See Any Blackberries Here? Nope, Me Neither.



Any questions?Sincerely,Penelope