Penny Watson's Blog, page 64
September 15, 2011
For Wallflowers Everywhere
From Romancing Mister Bridgerton, by Julia Quinn.....
"I would like to marry Mr. Bridgerton," Penelope said, trying to summon up as much quiet dignity as she could manage. "He asked me and I said yes."
"Well, of course you said yes," her mother retorted. "You'd have to be an idiot to say no."
"Mrs. Featherington," Colin said tightly, "I suggest you begin treating my future wife with a bit more respect."
"Colin, it's not necessary," Penelope said, placing her hand on his arm, but the truth was--her heart was soaring. He might not love her, but he cared about her. No man could defend a woman with such fierce protectiveness without caring for her a little.
"It is necessary," he returned. "For God's sake, Penelope, I arrived with you. I made it abundantly clear that I required your presence in the room, and I practically shoved Felicity out the door to fetch her watercolors. Why on earth would anyone think I wanted Felicity?"
Mrs. Featherington opened and closed her mouth several times before finally saying, "I love Penelope, of course, but--"
"But do you know her?" Colin shot back. "She's lovely and intelligent and has a fine sense of humor. Who wouldn't want to marry a woman like that?"
Penelope would have melted to the floor if she weren't already holding on to his hand. "Thank you," she whispered, not caring if her mother heard her, not even caring if Colin heard her. Somehow she needed to say the words for herself.
Not what she thought she was.
Lady Danbury's face swam before her eyes, her expression warm and just a little bit cunning.
Something more. Maybe Penelope was something more, and maybe Colin was the only other person to realize that as well.
It made her love him all the more.
Sigh,Penelope
September 14, 2011
Updates On Challenges, Vows, Blood Oaths 'N Stuff
How am I doing on my TBR Challenge and "Vow Not To Purchase Any Etsy Items In September" and other goals? Hmmm......let's see.....
1.) I'm doing pretty well with the TBR Challenge so far. I only purchased one book, and it was 99 cents. Right now I am about to start a re-read of Romancing Mister Bridgerton by Julia Quinn. It's not actually helping to decrease my TBR pile, but at least I didn't purchase anything new. So that's a tie I guess. By the way, this book inspired my pen-name: Penelope!
2.) As for my Etsy addiction...Well, I finally caved. What I wanted to buy: dog bed, dog tag, cool prints, felted bowls, adorable hat, pottery, and the most gorgeous tiara I have ever seen. (I know, I know....when the hell would I ever wear a tiara?) What I did buy....was one gorgeous pendant necklace with citrine and yellow mystic quartz on gold hoops. I love yellow things. Yellow is sunny and happy and positive and inspiring. (And I'm so full of sh*t because I'm trying to rationalize my purchase...hee hee!).
3.) My purge of old print romance novels will be taking place next week. I'm hauling about 600 old books to the used book store. I'll post pics of the traumatic event. Good times.....not.
4.) New Vow Starting Today: I gave up coffee. And I'm substituting.....
5.) Diet goals: I'm pushing for the 50-pound weight loss mark. I've been hovering at around 45 pounds down, and I'm having trouble moving past that. So this month I'm returning to my old, strict diet to see if I can jump-start the weight loss. Just me, some celery stix, and
6.) Writing goals: Now that the kids are back in school, I can get back to work. I have a hot bearded lumberjack to write about. And a sad bearded farmer to write about. And some beardy Klaus brothers to write about. And finally, a bearded botanist. What do all these things have in common? That's right! They're all men. Good job.
Well, that's the wrap-up! Hope all yinz have a great day. I'm sure mine will be swell, as I drink
Ciao,
Penelope
September 12, 2011
Coz Nothing Says Bad-Ass More Than Pearls And A Cardigan...
Many moons ago, I read my first paranormal romance novel....Christine Feehan's Dark Prince. It was dark, melodramatic, violent at times. Vampires and vampire-hunters killed, maimed, tortured. Carpathian heroes dominated, defended, and crushed any heroine-resistance. I could only imagine how bad-ass the author must be. Any person who created such a riveting, dark and dramatic tale must certainly look the part. So here is how I imagined Christine Feehan....in a long, black duster, leather pants, 6-inch high stiletto boots, long flowing black hair, talon-like fingernails, smoky eye-shadow. Tall and voluptuous, with a smattering of bad-ass tattoos, probably one on her bosom. (Picture Sandra Dee from the end of Grease, only kicked up a couple of notches!).
What I discovered, is that she actually looks like this....
Oh...My....God! I couldn't believe it! The woman whose brain conjured up creamy skin and velvet sheaths and smoky-hot sex scenes and gruesome vampire deaths looked like someone's granny (she is)....cute and cuddly and super nice and like someone who would probably make you a batch of brownies if you were sick. For Christ's sakes, the puppies have bows in their hair. Bows! Pink and blue! Ack!This is the super bad-ass who created the Dark series? I could not believe it. And then I started to investigate some more of my favorite authors.
JR Ward, creator of trash-talking, super-pumped, highly sexed, killing machines. Would she wear shit-kickers like the brothers? Black leather pants and a nice collection of tats? I almost fell out of a chair when I saw her bleached-blond hair in a bun, strands of pearls around her neck, and some sunglasses straight out of Risky Business. Because nothing says "I'm a bad-ass urban fantasy writer" more than pearls, right? Her elegant country-club attire makes her look like a model for a Talbot's catalogue.
What about Julie Garwood? Jayne Ann Krentz? JAK writes dark and eerie paranormal romance, both contemporary and historical. I expected someone who had an air of mystery. Actually she is perky, cute, and totally wholesome. (See photo below). And Julie Garwood, who has created the most alpha-hot, totally domineering Scottish warriors, not to mention some dark and disturbing contemporary romantic suspense, looks like a cross between a librarian and a college professor.
Julie Garwood, creator of hot, sexy Scottish dudes.
JAK...So cute I want to pinch her cheeks!Then I started to meet some erotica writers. You know, the ones who write about menages, and BDSM, and butt plugs, and all kinds of scary stuff that make me want to curl up in the fetal position. And you know what? Most of them look like soccer moms, or grandmoms, or totally ordinary, non-goth got-no-Harley, women. What's up with that? Why do the folks writing these sexy, bad-ass, and sometimes extremely naughty books, look....well....sort of boring?
Because they have really wicked-awesome imaginations, that's why! You don't have to be a bad-ass biker girl to write like one. Or about one. Or about her 3 hunky boyfriends. You just need an extremely well-developed imagination.
There is one author who actually looks the part. Gail Carriger writes quirky, steampunky stories. And she looks quirky and steampunky. The perfect match!
Anyhow, I am constantly amused by the author photos at the back of romance novels. After finishing a steamy, sexy, naughty book, there is nothing more hilarious than seeing that Susi Q. Author actually looks like someone's granny who knits booties at Christmas-time.
It crushed my fantasy of what romance writers really look like, but as long as they keep cranking out the books I love, who cares?
Thinking I should get a strand of pearls,Penelope
September 11, 2011
In Memory
"To live in hearts we leave behindIs not to die."
Thomas Campbell, Hallowed Ground
September 10, 2011
CALL FOR WORKSHOPS!
I am very excited to be a part of the 2012 Let Your Imagination Take Flight Conference this year! All of the Quirky Ladies are part of the conference committee....we are gearing up for a great shin-dig this spring. It is taking place April 27-28 in the charming and festive city of Salem, Massachusetts. This romance writers' meeting includes wonderful speakers, workshops, a book fair, agent and editor appointments, and lots of witchy entertainment in the historical city of Salem. We are just starting to consider workshop proposals, so if you're interested in presenting at this terrific conference, please submit your proposal. Here's a link for the Conference page on our website.
Hope to see lots of you there!
Penny
September 9, 2011
Alaskan Bad-Ass, Spunky Super-Sass, and Heartbreak Pass
I know.....I'm really stretching it with that title.
Three quickie reading updates....
1. Last Days Of Summer by Steve Kluger: Once again, Steve has put together a brilliant....let me repeat that--brilliant--story. The clever construction of the narrative--letters, announcements, newspaper clippings, etc--conveys a humorous, but also emotionally wrenching tale. It combines hilarious Jewish humor, baseball, and one of the most heart-breaking storylines I've ever read. In fact, I had a problem with the ending. I realize that the HEA-rule only applies to romance novels, but I'm not sure this ending was necessary, or even optimal, for this story. In spite of that, this book was another shining example of Steve's talent, and you're meshugana if you don't read it. Grade: A-
2. A Cold Day For Murder (Kate Shugak #1) by Dana Stabenow: After inhaling Stabenow's Liam Campbell series with the utmost glee, I decided to give her Kate Shugak series a go. It still has the fascinating Alaskan flavor, but this time we get a heroine to follow instead of a hero. I enjoyed this book, but it was definitely missing the spark of the Liam series. I was trying to figure out why....I think the main reason is that we get more emotionally invested in the characters, and the relationships, in the Liam series. This book is about the mystery, which is fine. But one of the things I adored about the Liam Campbell series is that the characters had a lot of depth, and those stories were just as important as the mystery to solve. I'm not sure if I'll continue with this series or not. Grade: B
3. Wait Until Midnight by Amanda Quick: I needed something light and sexy and comforting after I finished the heart-breaking ending of Last Days Of Summer. And this book by Amanda Quick is what I chose--it's one of my favorite re-reads. It has AQ's super-sassy-style heroine, who also just happens to be a writer for a sensational newspaper; it has the beta-but-masterful hero who is proper on one hand, and fiercely attracted to said spunky heroine on the other; it has an interesting mystery/storyline, wonderful supporting characters, and love scenes that manage to be sexy, adorable and satisfying all at the same time. AQ is my hero! AQ for president! AQ, AQ, AQ! (I'm a fan). Anyhow, it's a keeper. Grade: A
Happy Weekend Everyone!
Penelope
September 8, 2011
The Most Beautiful Thing In The World
Yee haw!
Off to Starbucks,
Penelope
September 6, 2011
A Breath Of Fresh (Testosterone-Filled) Air: Review of On The Fly by Jillian Brookes-Ward
As most of you know, I am part of a romance writer's critique group called The Quirky Ladies. Submitting work to them results in fairly uniform consequences. "VM" bags my adverbs. "MP" and "DD" make comments such as "Where is the penis in this scene?" (That is an actual comment from one of my WIPS. No kidding). "TT" adds in lots of LOLs and grammatical corrections. "SW" points out when my POV changes are unclear. And all of them love to point out one of the most important observations in critique. When a male character doesn't sound....male enough. When he sounds...um...like a girl.
For example, if a male character thinks to himself....."Wow. Her eyes are so beautiful. They are as blue as an azure colored sky with flecks of cerulean."...then, this is problem. Because, let's face it. Unless a guy is a gay interior decorator, he has no freakin' clue what azure or cerulean mean. A real guy might think something like....."Wow. She has pretty eyes." But more likely, a guy would actually think "Wow. That chick has a great pair of knockers." Unfortunately, if you're writing a romance novel, the knockers comment might not be appropriate. It's not very romantic, or heroic, or sweet. But a real guy, in a real situation, could probably give less than a crap about a girl's eye color.
Now, I love me some romance. Even if it's not very realistic. But every once in a while, it's nice to get a glimpse into the real male psyche. Not through rose-colored glasses, but rather through a sticky beer stein. It's a breath of fresh air to jump into a real man's point of view. And it's especially impressive when that POV has been written by a woman.
On The Fly by Jillian Brookes-Ward is not a romance novel. It's not erotica. It actually doesn't have much of a plot. There's no big adventure, or character arc, or profound resolution at the end of the book. It's a portrait of a guy. That's it. (With a bit of a cool paranormal twist at the end.) You know those cartoons "Diagram Of A Dog's Brain?" Here's an example....
This is real basic stuff. It's not complicated. Well, if you made a diagram of Brian's brain (he's the main character in On The Fly), it would have two things.....
1. Fly-fishing
2. F*cking
That's it. And you know what? It feels totally real. Because honestly, I'll bet there are many, many guys out there who really only think about those two things.
Other things that this book has going for it? It is totally British, which I love. It has great spots of humor. It is well-written. The pacing of the book is perfect for Brian's story. We sort of lumber along in the narrative, watching him fish, f*ck, and look like an ass, as he bumbles along. The fly-fishing stuff is way cool. And I like Brian's vulnerability. It is less than heroic, but so very authentic. A 40-something guy, forced through an emasculating divorce, living at home with his parents, his mother doing his laundry!!, and all he cares about is getting out on the water. And shagging any and all available lassies.
This story was an entertaining breath of fresh air. It's probably not for everyone. Especially folks looking for heroic acts and a complicated storyline. But if you're interested in reading a portrait of a real guy, warts, sore back, and all, then this book is for you. (And it's only 99 cents at Amazon!).
Grade: A-
Penelope
September 5, 2011
"1100 Men Went In The Water, 316 Men Come Out & The Sharks Took The Rest": A Writer's Lesson From Jaws
I often complain about the fact that AMC shows the same films over and over again. Except for when Jaws is on. I swear they have shown that movie 10 billion times, and every single time I watch it. It is, without a doubt, the greatest film I have ever seen. It's a classic that has stood the test of time...no fancy special effects, no computer enhancement. Just a great story, great acting, and great directing.
If you ever get the chance to watch the documentary The Making Of Jaws, don't miss it. It is absolutely fascinating. "The story behind the story" of the making of Jaws is unbelievable. Steven Spielberg was a brand new director....a youngster with no power in Hollywood. Nothing went according to plan for this movie. The biggest obstacle was "Bruce"--the mechanical shark. He was meant to be in the bulk of scenes for the movie, but he kept breaking down and messing up their shooting schedule. They were way behind schedule, way over budget, and Spielberg was getting unbelievable pressure from the Powers That Be.
He had to take a step back and think outside of the box. Rewrite the screenplay while they were in Martha's Vineyard filming the damned movie. Bruce, who was supposed to the star of the show, was a big, broken-down piece o' shit. In fact, Bruce was supposed to be in the opening scene of the film--but he wasn't working at the moment. So Spielberg rewrote that scene without the shark.
How to make a shark attack scene without the freakin' shark? Would it work? Would it be successful?
That scene is one of the most dramatic, riveting and scary-ass opening sequences on film. Because of what's NOT there. We don't know what's happening to the poor girl in the water. We just know it's bad. It's evil. And it's inescapable. And Spielberg realized that.
Which brings me to the point of this post. This is a great lesson for writers (or really folks in any sort of creative field)....
Sometimes what you're leaving out of the story can be just as important as what you're putting in.
Spielberg's experience with this film is a great source of inspiration for me. When the WIP isn't working, take a big step back. Think outside of the box. Way outside of the box. Do you need a new POV for that scene? A different way of looking at things? How do you want your reader to feel? Can you elicit those feelings without an info dump, spilling all your secrets at once? How can you build tension and fear without a villain in the room?
If you are looking for something cool to do some afternoon, I highly recommend watching this documentary. The stories about the actors, Martha's Vineyard, and the scuttlebutt behind the scenes is fabulous. Here is a link for the 30th anniversary edition of the movie plus the documentary. Treat yourself!
And finally, here is a clip of the greatest single scene in all of film history: Robert Shaw's monologue about the USS Indianapolis. Another cool tidbit from the documentary--originally, Shaw got rip-roaring drunk before they filmed this scene, but it was a huge disaster. They filmed it again the next day and it was perfection. Here ya go.....
Feeling the need to watch Jaws again,
Penelope
September 3, 2011
No More Books! Penny Takes The TBR Challenge!
I am in the midst of a fairly traumatic undertaking at the moment. Cleaning out my romance novel collection in the basement. I have hundreds and hundreds of print books piled up and I finally decided to take the bulk of them to a wonderful little used book store that specializes in romance. The photo above shows the books I absolutely refuse to part with. Most of these are books that I re-read often....such as Amanda Quick, Julie Garwood, Christine Feehan, Stephanie Laurens, etc. I also have old favorites by Julia Quinn, Lisa Kleypas, Mary Balogh, JR Ward, and others. I kept my all-time favorite top 20 re-reads, which include some contemporary, some erotica, historicals, etc.
Here is the pile going to the bookstore.....good-bye, my dear friends, good-bye!
Although I avoid most reading challenges, this month I decided to go along with one that my Goodreads group is encouraging....The TBR Challenge. For the entire month of September, I am not allowed to buy any books. (Which is a seriously good idea since I am spending all of my money on Etsy....hee hee!). I can only read books from my already-own TBR pile. I have plenty on Kindle, and I also have plenty of print copies. I'm hoping to read somewhere between 5-10 books this month. Here are the top contenders from my TBR pile....
Sam Wayland Destiny Calls
Sean Kennedy Tigers And Devils
Steve Kluger Last Days Of Summer
Terry Pratchett Going Postal
Mia Marlowe Touch Of A Thief
Jenna Kernan Winter Woman
After that, we'll see. I also have a workshop to prepare, a WIP to write, and preparations for my November release. It's gonna be a busy month!
I hope I can get these books off to the bookstore without shedding some tears. ☹
Wondering how big a credit I'll get at the used bookstore,
Penelope
P.S. Here is a photo of me wearing one of my new Etsy purchases, a bookworm pendant. Hee!
