M.J. Blehart's Blog, page 48

Reclaim Positivity

Positivity is always available. Sometimes you just need to reclaim it.

Photo by Maik Fischer on Unsplash

For the first time in a long time, my depression has been dominating my experience.

Over the past four or five days, I have been feeling more down than up, more negative than positive.

I can think of several reasons why I am feeling this way:

The sky has been grey for three straight daysThe temperature has been anywhere from 10-20 degrees cooler than normal for this time of yearIt’s been raining on and off, making any outdoor activity undesirableI’ve given too much attention to current political idiocyOngoing COVID concerns and new lessening restrictionsDifficulties in keeping up with my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health habits and practicesOngoing financial concerns

Of the above 7 items contributing to my depression, there are exactly 2 I have any control over: consumption of media and my wellness practices.

Recognizing this, I need to pause, reflect, and make choices and decisions about where my focus is and continues to be. Because I know full-well that keeping my focus on the 5 things outside of my control will just increase the negativity.

If, on the other hand, I release those in whatever way I can – mediation, distraction, and general mindfulness of my thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions – I can reclaim positivity.

But one important caveat needs to be made clear regarding this.

This is not toxic positivity

Disregarding the 5 things presently messing with my headspace in favor of finding and/or creating positivity does NOT involve pretending they don’t exist. If I look out my window the grey and damp are there before me. If I open the window, I get to add the cold. Open a browser tab to CNN and I’ll be staring at the political nightmare and COVID concerns. These are not going anywhere.

I can’t just pretend they aren’t there. Okay, to be fair, I can – but to what end? Pretending these things don’t exist doesn’t do jack shit about them. I know they’re there. If I don’t desire them impacting my mindset/headspace/psyche, it’s on me to choose to focus on them – or acknowledge them but focus on other things.

Like things in my control. My wellbeing being first among them – and my ability to not seek out further information about the politics and COVID being second.

Toxic positivity is positivity at the cost of all else. You put on the rose-colored glasses, skip merrily through the tulips, and put on blinders to everything else in the Universe. Maybe that will create a temporary euphoric bliss. But in time, it will fade because it’s not a practice of true mindfulness.

Positivity is mindful because TRUE positivity is a choice. It’s deciding to move away from negativity and seek to find and/or create positivity to control your life experience. It can’t ignore negativity and pretend it doesn’t exist. That’s because true positivity needs negativity to exist in the first place.

This is not selfish, but it’s all about me

Additionally – this applies to me, and me alone. I can’t make you or anyone else share my perspective. I can present it to you and then you get to choose to accept it, reject it, or alter it to fit how you perceive the Universe.

This is where toxic positivity frequently occurs. Because there is this notion that you can apply positivity to make other people better. But you can’t. You have no power over anyone but yourself.

Even when someone lets you have some modicum of control over them and their actions – you are not inside their head just as they are not inside of yours. Hence why someone who stubbornly believes something – no matter how untrue, ludicrous, or completely batshit insane it is – can’t be swayed to your opinion and your way of thinking. Toxic positivity implies they can – but they can’t.

When I am talking about my effort to reclaim positivity – it’s a completely personal, individual matter. Specifically, I’m acting for myself. Thus, from a certain point of view, this is selfish.

Except that it’s not. Why? Because true selfishness involves knowingly, intentionally harming others for your own good or gain. The simplest example of this is having 8 slices of pizza and 4 friends sharing it – and taking 3 or more slices for yourself. That is what true selfishness looks like – you know and don’t care that your actions will cause hurt and/or harm.

Positivity in its true form is utterly individual on multiple levels. And it’s a choice.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on UnsplashI can reclaim positivity or stay negative and depressed

I have suffered from depression for a long time. To help me cope with it, I take an antidepressant. I’m unashamed to admit that I’ve been in therapy multiple times – and if the antidepressant, mindfulness, meditation, and other practices I apply prove ineffective I will go back.

With the tools I am currently employing to work with my depression, recognizing what is making me feel negative is important. If I don’t recognize it, I can’t do anything about it.

Recognition is the first step. Then I must acknowledge it. Many people, after recognition, move to denial. I have that choice, too – I can recognize and then acknowledge that time spent on social media is making me unhappy – or deny it.

Denying it means I am setting myself up to continue to find the negativity. Acknowledging it, however, means I can now make a different choice and decide instead to reclaim positivity.

Ergo, recognizing that I am allowing myself to spend too much time on social media – to reclaim positivity, I am going to limit my time there. For a while, I was setting a 5-minute timer every time I opened Facebook – and I wasn’t leaving the tab open in a browser. I’ve gotten lax about that – so back to the timer – and I will add a self-imposed restriction of 3-times a day to that.

This will be placed on my daily routine spreadsheet and tracked. That provides me necessary accountability.

This method to reclaim positivity works for me – but it might not work for you. The point is that positivity is a choice. You decide to stay in a state of negativity – or reclaim positivity when it’s missing or otherwise impacting your life experience.

And if you choose poorly today, remember that you can choose better tomorrow.

Choosing to reclaim positivity isn’t hard

It begins with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Knowing that everyone experiences negativity – and it’s utterly necessary to our lives – you can choose to seek and/or find what works for you to reclaim positivity. When you decide to recognize, acknowledge, and then release negativity and reclaim positivity that ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and spreads to more people. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity. A feedback loop we can all take part in.

Then, we build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of our lives for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

You, me, and everybody are worthy and deserving of all the good we desire. 

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundred and eighty-second entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Reclaim Positivity appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Getting Myself Consciously and Subconsciously Aligned

I know my goals – short and long term – now I just need to get aligned.

When I was 9 years old, I wrote my first work of fiction. It was 50 pages and illustrated – and I got a tremendous sense of accomplishment from creating it.

Over the years, I continued to write in fits and starts. While I knew my passion was writing, I bought into a whole lot of the notorious lies about it.

Most writers make no money from writing. Do you want to be a starving artist? It’s super hard to get published. For every successful author, there are many more failed writers. Do you think you’re good enough to get noticed and make it? Shouldn’t you focus on a real job?

When you are bombarded with the above and similar, it’s very hard to break free of that impression. Then, once you do, it’s still a challenge to get yourself aligned on every level.

What does that mean? When you know what you desire to have, find, and/or create for your life – and it defies the “norm” – you need to align all aspects of your self.

In other words, I need to get my conscious and subconscious aligned with one another.

There are 3 states of mind in everyone

Everyone has the same 3 states of mind.

Unconsciousness is that which you do purely automatically. Overall breathing, swallowing, digesting, and similar things your mind and central nervous system do unaided.Subconsciousness is where your habits, beliefs, values, and overall sense of self exist. It is subconscious because you CAN access it — but largely don’t. Subconscious is passive, doing things by rote and routine.Consciousness is here and now. It’s your inner being, specifically your mindset/headspace/psyche sense of self. Consciousness is active, choosing and deciding things in the moment.

For the most part, you can ignore the unconscious mind. But the conscious and the subconscious are what make you, you.

The conscious mind is where your overall inner being and mindset/headspace/psyche self lives. It is who you think/feel/know yourself to be, here and now, as you read these words.

Getting in touch with your conscious mind is done via mindfulness. Mindfulness, of course, is your conscious awareness of sensory input coupled with thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions in the present.

All you must do to be mindful is ask yourself (preferably aloud) these and similar questions:

What am I thinking?How am I feeling?What am I feeling?Why am I doing what I’m doing?

These questions will put you in the present moment – which is how you be mindfully aware of your conscious mind.

That awareness, then, opens the door to align your subconscious mind.

The deeply rooted aspects of you

Within your subconscious are all your beliefs, values, and habits. You are likely aware of many. But there are also, quite probably, many that you are not so aware of.

Your subconscious takes in all that you experience, learn, see, think, feel, and whatnot. Then, because it lacks the filters of the conscious mind, many things it absorbs sit there and leave a lasting impression that you would not have consciously chosen.

For example, as a kid, I was told often that it was important I get a real job – preferably a money-maker like a doctor, lawyer, or business mogul. What’s more, with my “smarts” I should be at the top of whichever of those fields I should choose to pursue.

Then we get to reality. I have had zero interest in becoming a doctor or a lawyer, and naught but a passing fancy to be a business mogul (certainly not the implied form of business mogul I was expected to be as a kid).

I pursued several different arts in addition to writing. Music to a lesser degree (I was and still largely am a 4-octave baritone), theatre (which is what my college degree is in), and radio (in the early 90s when Howard Stern, Opie and Anthony, and the like were still on broadcast networks).

Because I subconsciously had taken in and accepted the notion that the arts are not a “real” job, I always have accepted an inability to make sufficient money from that form of work. Yet, here I am now, actively writing full-time in pursuit of that goal.

Hence, there is a conflict between my subconscious and conscious mind. One that requires them to be aligned. Which is an ongoing challenge.

Practices to get it all aligned

I recently wrote about how health is not simply physical, but also mental, emotional, and spiritual.

As such, all four of these aspects together contribute to getting your conscious and subconscious mind aligned.

This is, overall, a conscious process. But better awareness of my consciousness is how I can get in touch with and alter my subconscious beliefs, values, and habits.

These are the practices I am currently working at to help me align my conscious and subconscious minds.

Physical – I am exercising on a far more regular basis, maintain a healthier sustainable diet, and getting more sleep.Mental – I am reading every single day. A minimum of 1 chapter each of fiction and nonfiction (mindfulness, self-improvement, consciousness-focused work). I am also keeping a spreadsheet of daily activities to stay on top of it all.Emotional – I’ve been journaling daily to keep ahold of my thoughts and feelings and express honestly with myself where I am at. I’ve also been writing out 5 gratitude statements every night before bed, plus five positive “I AM” statements.Spiritual – I am meditating daily. Generally, this is a 20-minute practice, though there are days I only get in 10 minutes. But this has been every day for the last 5 months or so.

Working on my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health is a conscious act. That means I am more aware of my mindset/headspace/psyche self. That awareness, in turn, opens me to getting in touch with my subconscious and working to alter, change, remove, or otherwise control the habits, beliefs, and values I hold.

But there is one more, super important step I need to address with myself.

To get aligned requires kindness, compassion, and forgiveness – of myself

There have been any number of poor attempts, half-assed schemes, false starts, and various failings on my part. I’ve spent a lot of time at the crossroads between this, that, or the other thing. I spun around in a circle looking at various paths and choosing none.

Most of my 20s and 30s were spent this way. It is only in the last 10 years I’ve been my most genuine, authentic self. And then, over the last 2 years, I’ve focused on realizing both my short and long-term, goals.

For the two decades of “wasted” time, I have a sense of regret. I mean, honestly, between all the homes I lived in; jobs I held, left, and lost; and relationships I did poorly with – a part of me is ashamed of who I was.

Shame doesn’t do a damned thing, here and now, for who I am or who I desire to be. This means I need to be compassionate with myself, treat myself with kindness – and forgive myself for the “wasted” time.

Given how poorly society frequently handles kindness, compassion, and forgiveness for others – it’s no wonder most of us are bad at this directed towards ourselves. But when I look into my subconscious and find the habits, beliefs, and values I desire to change – it’s imperative I be kind, compassionate, and forgiving of my past self.

The past has passed. I can’t change it. Nobody can. The best thing to do now is to learn from it and use those lessons in the present. Being present and aware – here and now – is imperative to aligning who I am consciously and subconsciously to be the best me I can be.

And that is how my goals – in both the short and long term – can be realized.

Are you doing things to be aligned consciously and subconsciously?

This is the four-hundred and ninety-second exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Getting Myself Consciously and Subconsciously Aligned appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Positivity Doesn’t Invalidate Negativity

One coin, two sides. Positivity and negativity will always both exist.

Photo by Alex on Unsplash

I know a lot of people who think that positivity is a toxic notion.

And, misapplied, they’re right. When you use positivity to negate and invalidate negativity – that is a toxic act. We simply cannot exist in a world with zero negativity.

Life is all about dualities and paradoxes. Hence, yin and yang, black and white, up and down, and so on. Between these extremes are vast worlds of grey and color that cannot be ignored. That’s because most of us exist between the polar opposites.

Take politics, for example. There are tremendous false equivalencies on both sides of the American political aisle. The vast majority of the American people exist somewhere closer to the center between liberal and conservative.

While the center doesn’t move, the two dominant parties have shifted dramatically. One party is very much center-left while the other part is abandoning the center altogether and going extremely far-right. A tremendous amount of ugliness has accompanied that shift – and likely will continue to do so. But I digress.

Positivity and negativity are polar opposites. While there is a neutral center point between them, human beings are virtually incapable of seeing it. Why? Because it is made of pure logic and reason, lacking in feeling. The least emotional among us still experience feelings in a way that makes attaining neutrality between these opposites virtually impossible.

Ergo, you experience positivity and negativity all the time. And you need to have, feel, and experience both.

Choosing positivity is not intended to invalidate negativity. Instead, it’s meant to shift your attitude, approach, and overall life experience.

Before I get into this further, let’s address the elephant in the room.

Toxic positivity

People have been inundated by the idea that positivity defeats, overrides, and removes negativity. Take on a sunny disposition, ignore the negativity of the world – people, places, things – and tiptoe through the tulips. Negativity is bad for you, makes you sick, and should be avoided and ignored.

This is toxic positivity – and it is complete bullshit. It gives the reality of positivity a bad rap and disempowers both positivity itself, as well as and you and me.

What does that even mean? Since true neutrality between the opposites of positivity and negativity is mostly impossible to be achieved by human beings, you can never be without both. Thus, positivity is incapable of invalidating, negating, and erasing negativity.

On that same line, negativity cannot invalidate, negate, and erase positivity. Both are absolutely necessary to life, the Universe, and everything.

Unfortunately, a lot of the examples made of positivity, positive thinking, and everything else of this nature become toxic. When you apply positivity to everything without giving proper due to negativity it becomes toxic.

Why? Because it breeds ignorance. There is no knowledge, logic, or reason to positivity in the extreme and pretending negativity doesn’t exist. Disregarding and invalidating negativity doesn’t remove it – but rather, removes you from working with it. It puts you in a place that doesn’t truly exist.

You disempower yourself – because rather than work with the negative and make choices and decisions based on that, you ignore it. Thus, delaying the inevitable.

Negativity denied doesn’t just go away. Eventually, it will catch up with and impact you. This is why the toxic positivity is so toxic and, ultimately, disempowering.

This is all about choice

Shit happens. There are more things outside of our control than within it.

For example, did anyone want to experience the worldwide, life-altering pandemic that’s been COVID-19? No. Yet it spread across the globe and impacted every single one of us in greater and lesser ways.

Some people applied a form of toxic positivity at the height of the pandemic. Those who were too selfish to mask up, maintain social distance, and do the right thing for everyone else in the name of their “civil liberties” pretended the reality of the pandemic didn’t impact them. Toxic positivity.

Now, with restrictions lessening, we’re faced with false equivalencies as the honor system of the vaccinated versus the unvaccinated gets called further into question. How do I know they aren’t wearing a mask because they got vaccinated – or – are one of those assholes denying the pandemic’s existence?

Toxic positivity is as much a choice as normal, healthy positivity. The difference is partially how it impacts not just you, but those around you.

For example – we all experienced the pandemic. A lot of people have been thrown into a depression following more than a year of no real contact with people, fear of getting sick and dying, and endless half-contact with people via Zoom and the like. The negativity borne of that is disempowering.

But it wasn’t negativity for all. Many people found solace in working from home, starting new business ventures, writing the novel they had always meant to or painting that painting, and so on. That was the choice of seeking positivity to counter the negativity. And that’s not toxic in the least.

Real positivity is a choice to find and/or create a counter to negativity. And that’s why both sides of the coin are valid.

Photo by Jaqueline Fritz on UnsplashWe are empowered to decide

When shit happens and life goes to hell – and it will – you get to decide how long to hold onto negativity.

When you lose a job, a relationship ends, or a loved one dies – you are going to feel sad, angry, hurt, and all other negative emotions. And you should. All feelings are valid – positive or negative. Toxic positivity invalidates those bad feelings, which is why it’s toxic.

True positivity is finding the good from the bad. Not instantly – that tends to be impossible. But after the initial reaction and shock of the emotion, you have a choice. You decide to remain in a negative place or find a positive one.

For example, it sucks that you lost your job. However, on the bright side, this is the opportunity to create that business you thought about for decades. You’re hurt and sad over the ending of the relationship – but now you have a chance to learn what did and didn’t work before, do some self-improvement, and make better choices for the next. Grief at the loss of a loved one is natural. But in time, you can see they are no longer suffering and honor their memory by choosing your life experience.

Positivity doesn’t invalidate negativity – it is a choice to move on. To decide that you desire to be empowered and seek to find and/or create a better person in yourself, place, thing, or life experience.

One coin, two sides. Positivity and negativity will always both exist. True positivity is about choosing and deciding to let go of the negativity to find and/or create positivity to better your life experience. That is empowering and is not at all toxic.

Deciding to choose positivity in the face of negativity isn’t hard

It begins with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Knowing that everyone experiences negativity – and it’s utterly necessary to our lives – you can choose to seek and/or find positivity as an alternative. When you decide to release the negativity and replace it with positivity – rather than toxically ignore and disregard the negativity – that ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and spreads to more people. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity. A feedback loop we can all take part in.

Then, we build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of our lives for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

You, me, and everybody are worthy and deserving of all the good we desire. 

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundred and eighty-first entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Positivity Doesn’t Invalidate Negativity appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Focusing Within Gives You More Control Than Focusing Without

I need to put less into focusing on the things outside of my control.

We live in a crazy world.

After a year that featured massive, necessary social change due to a pandemic, an awful election and ongoing ugliness after it, and massive uncertainty – there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But that light isn’t the same for everyone. For some people it’s daylight – for others, it’s an oncoming train.

This is largely dependent on your mindset and what you are focusing on. If you are distracted by the ongoing crazy of the outside world – chances are you’re facing that oncoming train.

I am not, in any way, advocating for neglecting the world at large. We need to be aware of what’s going on other there, lest it overwhelms us. Nobody, not even the most introverted among us, can live in a vacuum. Thus, we need to know that shit is happening in the world – and when it’s something we don’t desire or want to see grow do our individual part to change it.

No, I personally cannot shake sense into the Trump Big Lie supporting Republicans, nor the leaders of Israel and Palestine. But I can do my part to focus on what I can impact directly and control. That empowers me.

When you become empowered, you become better able to find and/or create solutions to your personal life situations. Despite notions to the contrary, this is not a selfish act.

Self-care is not selfish

One of the lies that those in power use to remain in power is that self-care, and personal growth, are selfish. They will imply or tell you plainly that when you strive to make yourself better, you’re being a selfish jerk and lessening the collective.

If you don’t buy this, just look at the primary acts of many in government. They do all they can to disempower to prop themselves up and remain in power. Why else would there be resistance to making voting easier on the masses, universal health care, and a reasonable minimum wage? It’s all about the disempowerment of the masses to empower a “chosen” few.

This is where the bullshit notion of “coastal elites” gets spat out. Because self-care is a progressive concept of empowerment. And, since most of the people on the coasts of the United States work in the service industry and produce nothing tangible, it’s easy to perpetuate the lie.

The irony of this is how self-care truly empowers. Because when you care for your mind, body, and soul you make it possible to assume more control. Because there is only one thing over which you have any real control: Yourself.

Self-care is not frivolous and selfish. It’s developing a broader knowledge of who, what, where, why, how, and when you are. That knowledge opens you to make choices and decisions that can and will improve numerous aspects of your life.

When more people are empowered, they make better choices – and see how interconnected we all are. Almost all the division we recognize is an artifice created by those who use their “power” to disempower.

Authentic self-care isn’t massages and shopping sprees – it’s practical mindfulness for empowerment.

Focusing within creates more clarity without

The body you occupy is only the physical manifestation of you.

Inside your body are organs that vary only slightly in other people. Yet we all have hearts, lungs, livers, kidneys, and so on. Our musculoskeletal systems vary some – but feature all the same parts.

Deeper than that, we’re comprised of subatomic particles, which themselves are composed of pure Universal source energy. This is why and how – no matter the manners with which we identify ourselves individually – we are all one.

At our core, every single one of us is pure energy. Energy that can neither be created nor destroyed – it just transmutes from form to form.

Hence, focusing within provides more clarity the focusing without. When you know better your inner being – and recognize your core energy – you can see it more clearly in the world around you.

Our focus tends to be on the past and future. But the past has passed and can’t be changed (despite numerous attempts to do so) and the future is unwritten. But the present, the here and now, is the one true place you exist.

Better understanding of yourself – by focusing inwards – makes for better understanding of the world outside of yourself.

For example, if you don’t know your own feelings – how can you get to know the feelings of anyone else? So many of our misunderstandings come from a sense of disconnect between us.

Many of those in power love to widen the disconnect. But when you see the interconnectivity of everything, here and now, you gain more understanding overall. Both within and without.

What does that even mean?

To put it simply – no matter how many ways you and I may be different – we are the same.

Putting your focus on things outside of yourself disempowers you. Besides voting, signing petitions, making calls, and sending emails – what can you do about politics? Nothing. You have ZERO control. Focusing on all the insanity happening in Washington, DC disempowers you. Because you have ZERO control of it.

Yes, we need to be aware of it. But it can’t be where our primary focus goes, or else we cede all our power to the ethers and our so-called leaders. Then, they use our fears as weapons to maintain and increase their personal power while distracting and disempowering us.

Don’t believe me? How else can you explain how the same assholes, who almost literally steal from their constituents time and again, keep getting re-elected? They create blame for the “other” and distract while acting in bad faith. How else can you explain our acceptance of a corporate culture where the stockholders earn obscene wealth on the backs of the workers who get paid less than a living wage? They convince you that a $15 an hour EMT is worth more than an $8 an hour fast food employee – rather than everyone being worth a minimum of $15 an hour and more.

When you are focusing on the outside world, it’s the same as looking at the symptom but not the disease. Focusing within, on the other hand, provides you with that missing clarity.

Inner focusing leads to inner peace

When you allow the outside picture to dominate your life, your paths and the choices therein can look pointless and hopeless.

But that’s not the truth. The truth is that you matter. You are worthy and deserving of having a good life. Finding and/or creating what you desire to have is your right.

That can and will be differently challenging for people depending on their present circumstances. But I assure you, if you keep focusing on all the outside happenings beyond your control – you complicate your ability to take control of what is yours.

Focusing within is practical mindfulness. By being consciously aware, here and now, of your sensory input combined with your thoughts, feeling, actions, and intentions – you become familiar with your inner being. That means you merge into your mindset/headspace/psyche self, here and now, to know where, what, how, why, when, and who you presently are.

That, in turn, opens the way to get into your subconscious and look at your values, beliefs, and habits – and alter, change, expand, or otherwise work your control on them.

That is how you give yourself control. That control helps you find, create, and choose the paths you desire to take for your life. Which gives you inner peace.

When you have that internal focus, it’s easier to work with the outside pictures. Then, when you are self-empowered, you’re less likely to cede control to those who want you disempowered for their own selfish reasons.

When more people have internal peace – that leads to more external peace.

I know that I need to put less into focusing on the things outside of my control. It’s an ongoing process, but time and again it proves itself to be utterly worthwhile.

Can you see how focusing within provides more clarity without?

This is the four-hundred and ninety-first exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Focusing Within Gives You More Control Than Focusing Without appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Choose Your Actions After Your Initial Reactions

The positivity when you choose the actions after your reactions is profound.

Photo by Conscious Design on Unsplash

Let’s face it. Shit happens. What’s more, you’ll encounter happenings that get you upset on the surface without full context. And then you get to decide what comes next.

For example, I saw that a friend had done a thing with a group of friends that I was not included in. That got me super upset. I immediately felt hurt, got annoyed that I was left out, and it began what could easily have been a full-on downward spiral.

There was a choice before me. Stay upset, sulk, get more upset, and make lots of assumptions with no information. Or – choose instead how to act and react, and move past it.

Initially, I tossed my phone aside – not hard, just away. Then I got up, got my headphones, went out on my deck, and meditated.

At the beginning of my meditation, I let all the feelings I was feeling hit me and roll into and through me. I nearly cried, but the tears never came. Then I got calmer, and it occurred to me that maybe it wasn’t that the friends left me out – maybe it was a thing in a sub-group I am not, in fact, part of.

As I calmed and sank even deeper into my meditation, I let it go entirely. It doesn’t matter. I am who I am, and it is what it is. When all is said and done, I’m here and doing my thing.

That was my choice. Sure, I could have sulked, thrown a tantrum, stormed off, and otherwise allowed the negativity to overwhelm me. But instead, I choose to do the thing that I know brings me peace and calm.

That choice was ultimately one of positivity.

Reaction or action is a choice

Whatever happens to you, there will be a reaction. Sometimes the initial reaction is not a pleasant one.

You have zero control of outside influences. People, places, and things other than yourself are totally, completely, and utterly outside of your control.

When you make yourself crazy pondering all the potential “what ifs” of life, the Universe, and everything, you set yourself up to always be reactionary. This means that when the awful, no good, bad thing happens – you’ll be much more likely to flip out, tell yourself that of course that was going to happen, or be otherwise caught off guard.

You cannot prepare for every eventuality. However, after the initial reaction, where you take it is up to you.

Ergo, you get to choose what action to take following the initial reaction. Despite it often feeling like this is utterly untrue, you do have the power to control what action you take next.

Let’s say you get into a car accident. It is utterly the other person’s fault. What’s more, the accident is keeping you from an important appointment, job interview, date, or what-have-you.

The initial reaction is anger. Why did this happen? What was that idiot who hit you thinking? How will this utterly fuck up everything?

Now you have a choice. Express your anger and scream at that person for hitting your car. You can express your anger by getting violent with that person. Maybe it turns to frustration, and now you break down crying.

Or maybe you take a deep breath, consider your options, and calm yourself so that you don’t make a bad situation worse.

You get to choose – and you get to decide to choose to act with positivity or negativity.

Just staying calm and not losing it is a choice for positivity.

What about having no positivity to choose actions after reactions from?

There is going to be shit that happens to you where positivity is nowhere to be found. At least, not without going full Pollyanna, putting on blinders and rose-colored glasses, and denying the existence of negativity. Which, just FYI, is not a good idea in the least.

The death of a friend or loved one, massive loss, serious injury, and the like don’t come with positives. They suck. That shit hurts, and you will feel the pain (mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and/or physically).

The initial reaction is one matter. I can’t tell you how, let alone how long, you should grieve or experience the pain of that happening. For an unspecified time, there will be a painful reaction. Denying it, ignoring it, or pretending it didn’t happen will be the cause of far more damage in the long run than the experience.

You’ll reach a point where the initial reaction has passed – and then you get to choose. Allow the pain to cripple you or find the strength somehow to move on. Stay broken or get fixed.

This is where you can choose to apply some self-encouragement via mindfulness to take back control and choose constructive options over destructive ones. And while, at that time, this likely won’t look or feel positive – it is a matter of positivity.

Just choosing to make a choice and deciding to take control over your life experience following an incident is positivity. We all know people who had a negative life experience that led them down a much darker and destructive path than they’d needed to take. They never chose to take back control and decide otherwise.

Pardon my being blunt, here, but unless you are dead – you always have choices.

[image error]Photo by C Joyful on UnsplashPositivity may not be immediately apparent

It is far too easy to not choose or to choose nothing at all.

Likewise, it’s super easy to just let life live you, allow your subconscious and everything it takes in, unfiltered, have control. Why choose for yourself when the patterns carry you along?

Why choose for yourself? Because you’re the only one who can. And despite whatever crap you might be experiencing now – your choices are how you take control and alter your trajectory.

The initial reaction, if you take no action, can lead you places you don’t care to go. I believe that’s how you wind up in the worst cases of depression, anxiety, alcoholism, drug abuse, and so forth. Allowing the initial reaction to dictate everything after cedes control. That’s rarely positive.

Making a choice and taking action – following the initial reaction – is how you empower yourself. When you choose to control your actions following your reactions you assume the control you desire. And that is a matter of positivity.

I know those terrible things hurt. Like you, unwanted shit has happened in my life. I didn’t always choose my actions after the initial reactions. But when I have, it’s been powerful and allowed me control. I have felt – and continue to feel – in charge of my life and where it is going.

You have that same power, too.

Deciding to choose actions after initial reactions isn’t hard

It begins with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Knowing that everyone experiences awful things outside of their control – you can better accept the reaction you initially have after something happens. When you recognize and acknowledge the initial reaction, you open yourself up to choose the next action to take when the initial reaction passes – and that ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and spreads to more people. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity. A feedback loop we can all take part in.

Then, we build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of our lives for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

You, me, and everyone are worthy and deserving of all the good we desire. 

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundred and eightieth entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Choose Your Actions After Your Initial Reactions appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Replacing Self-Help with Self-Encouragement

Most people could use self-encouragement over self-help.

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Let’s face it – the idea of self-help has been hacked to pieces for many people.

It’s like being in a sudden deluge of rain. You were soaked to the bone after a few seconds – but it continues to inundate you.

A lot of people get frustrated with all the notions of self-help. In time, it goes from the simple idea that you are capable of working on your inner being and its depths to an all-encompassing do-or-die expectation.

More than once, someone has become irked with me for suggesting self-help ideas. And I get that. It becomes like background chatter – just one of many notions for how to live.

When you are coping with anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, the constant reminders of self-help start to feel disingenuous, patronizing, and infuriating. More than once I’ve heard it said or implied, “Don’t you think if I could help myself here, I’d not be in this situation?”

I get it. Also, I know that sometimes I can seem preachy with all the self-helpery I share. My notions of mindfulness, conscious reality creation, and positivity to help your self begin to sound and feel like all the rest of the noise.

Let’s face it – many of the self-help gurus are hacks. They come from privilege, they only share so much without extracting cash from you, and they spout platitudes and overused lines without offering more than that. I think there is still value to many of these people – but you need to disseminate it from the whole.

I am taking a new approach. You know how you can help yourself. You don’t need me to beat you over the head with it. Instead, I am offering encouragement.

You, your self, and getting help

There are some important factors to take into consideration when it comes to you and your state of being. These include:

You are the only one inside your head, heart, and soulThe only person who can think and feel for you is youIf you do not desire help – you won’t accept or take helpHelp only offers suggestions. You decide how to use them – or notYou have ultimate control of your emotions

Many aspects of our society tell you an intangible something out there is the key to solving anything. When you feel lonely, find a friend or lover. If you feel empty, look for something outside of yourself to fill the void. When you are in a bad situation, don’t be accountable – blame someone/something else.

As I’ve written before, I believe that the answers to the ultimate questions are already within us, forged in our being offshoots of Universal source energy. But over time, we’ve stopped turning inwards and almost exclusively looked outside ourselves for the answers to the nagging questions.

The idea of self-help is literal. You are the only one who can, ultimately, be – and help – you. Nobody else is in your head, heart, or soul – no matter how much you might give them access.

That, to many people, is extremely lonely. Because of that feeling of deep loneliness, we long to connect. So, we turn without – and seek help from outside of ourselves.

Self-help is supposed to be the recognition of how, even with outside assistance, you’re the one applying mindfulness, conscious reality creation, and positivity in your life. Or not.

Yet, like a child being told “NO” constantly, having self-help shoved down your throat creates resistance. Resistance often prevents us from doing what’s necessary or best for us.

Encouragement to help yourself

Instead of harping on the idea of self-help to help yourself, I am beginning to apply a new idea. Encouragement.

Given that I cannot, ultimately, help you – all I can do is offer encouragement. That can come in many forms – from basic cheerleading to asking leading questions to offering ideas that you may – or may not – apply.

When I see you doing something awesome, working hard, achieving something, I can and will offer my support and congratulate you. That, hopefully, will encourage you to keep at it.

If you are faced with a situation of uncertainty, and it makes you indecisive, I can ask questions to help you ask yourself things to get you moving. For example, to help you get in touch, here and now, with your inner being – your mindset/headspace/psyche self – I can ask questions like:

What are you thinking?How are you feeling?What are you feeling?What are you doing?

When you ask these questions of yourself, that makes you consciously aware. And then, guess what? You are practicing practical mindfulness.

When you choose to read the articles I share about mindfulness, conscious reality creation, positivity, and the like – you get to decide how they apply to you. Or not. The choice to make use of them is entirely up to you.

Since I cannot, truly, help you – what I recognize that I can do is encourage you. That is why I am altering my approach from presenting self-help to self-encouragement.

Because while I can encourage you to make pushes, try new things, and do stuff that takes you outside of your comfort zone – sometimes you need to find encouragement within yourself, too. As someone outside of you, my encouragement will hopefully help you encourage yourself. That, hopefully, leads to more self-encouragement.

Self-encouragement is active

Finally – the idea of help tends to be passive. You get suggestions and ideas that are flabby, lacking in applicability, vague, and infuriating. Encouragement, on the other hand, is active.

Help is to try. Encouragement is to do. Thus, in the words of Yoda,

“Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.”

Yes, I recognize that helping you move a couch is an act. But that’s helping rather than help. Help is me suggesting you should move the couch to a better position in the room. Encouragement is me stepping in and helping you move the damned thing.

Encouragement usually feels good. Offering help can feel bad. Encouragement takes a tone of “YES! I see what you are doing! Let me cheer you on to keep going!” Whereas help takes a ton of “I see you have a problem. Since you are stuck, let me suggest this, that, or the other thing.”

Sometimes help is unsolicited – and that can be infuriating. It can be even more maddening when the suggestion is that you have the power to fix the problem – even a problem like anxiety and depression that feels insurmountable. Thus, the response is often, “You’re not me – you don’t understand – so you can’t help me.”

That’s true. I can’t help you. But I can encourage you. And my encouragement can lead you to self-encouragement. Since the choices and decisions belong to you alone – finding encouragement in yourself to make them gets them made.

Thus, going forward, I will be focusing on self-encouragement rather than self-help. In my ongoing quest to encourage people to live the best, fullest lives they can – and my acts to do so for myself – I am actively offering encouragement rather than help.

I believe in you!

What does self-encouragement look like to you?

This is the four-hundred and ninetieth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Replacing Self-Help with Self-Encouragement appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

You are Enough

Good enough, smart enough, wise enough, etc. You are enough.

Photo by Ameer Basheer on Unsplash

There is an ongoing notion that there must always be more. More. More!

This gets applied to virtually every aspect of our lives. Tangibles and intangibles. We need more money. More time. We need more toys. More love.

This sparks pointless competition between people. We look to the homes and possessions of our friends and compare them to our own. Then, we equate success and achievement alongside those comparisons. When we don’t match up in certain ways – it can cause us to feel we don’t add up, either.

There is never enough of this, that, or the other thing. Just to add further insult to injury, then we create artificial perceptions of lack, scarcity, and insufficiency dominating almost every aspect of the world.

Too many of our so-called leaders love to use this to build their power. There aren’t enough jobs, money, and opportunities – the “other” are taking them from you – but I alone can save you from this. Disempower the masses and make them buy into the not-enough, lacking, scarce idea of reality.

This couldn’t be further from the truth. The Universe is abundant. There is plenty and more than enough of this, that, or the other thing. One seemingly finite resource can and will be replaced by something else. That’s the abundance of the Universe.

Caught up in this paradox of not enough and abundance – lack, scarcity, and insufficiency get applied to you and me. We feel we are not enough – and struggle with this mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I’d argue most conflicts we have come from this perception of not being enough.

But the truth is that you are enough. In every possible way.

The truth of you

You bring value to the world.

I know that might not feel true. Especially when you feel and think that you’re not enough. But you are enough. Truly, you are more than enough.

But there are going to be situations where you will feel inadequate, insufficient, unworthy, and like you’re not enough. When that happens, the first step is to accept, in the words of Brianna Wiest,

“The journey isn’t about convincing yourself that you’re enough, but loving yourself even if you aren’t.”

While you are enough – there will be times and situations where you won’t feel that you’re enough. And that’s okay – as the above quote reminds us, that’s part of the journey in life.

Everyone grows and evolves. Some people do so at a pace so glacially slow that they don’t appear to be growing or changing. Others seem to change at the drop of a hat, instantly.

Directed, controlled, or not – change is the one and only constant in the whole of the Universe. You, as such, change.

Part of change involves growth and evolution of yourself both literally and metaphorically. Thus, there will be points in your life journey where you experience the necessity to become more because you feel you’re not enough.

That’s when you need to love yourself even if you feel you aren’t – so that you can open the door to choose the path to grow into that more complete person who is you as the best you possible.

You have more potential and possibility than you imagine. Maybe you’re not an Einstein or a Tesla or a Curie – but you are still a conscious reality creator with nearly unlimited power.

In this way – you are enough.

Abundant potential and possibility

There is always room to grow.

Just because you don’t know something today doesn’t mean you can’t and won’t know it tomorrow. When there is something you truly desire to have in your life – the power to manifest it into reality is in you already.

It may be dormant. Possibly, it’s asleep. But it’s there, in your subconscious if not in your aware, present, conscious mind.

You are worthy and deserving of finding and/or creating these things. Despite messages to the contrary – direct or indirect, well-meaning or malicious – you are worthy and deserving of becoming who and what you desire to be.

Admittedly, this is easier for some than for others. Privilege is a thing. As a middle-class, cis-gendered, middle-aged white man, I am going to have a far easier time consciously creating my reality than an impoverished, transgendered, black twenty-something woman will. But I am not any more “enough” than she is.

What’s more, being enough today doesn’t mean you can’t be more tomorrow. But loving yourself where you stand in the here-and-now is how you can become more, and if you feel you’re not enough accept yourself for who you are and do what it takes to get to the next level.

Photo by Hello I’m Nik on UnsplashBe enough for you, not for anyone else

This is important. It’s all too easy to feel as though we’re not enough in comparison to others. But how anyone else perceives you and me doesn’t matter.

In the eyes of some, I am never going to be enough. I’m not tough enough, smart enough, clever enough, or what-have-you. That’s their perception of me.

I’ve been practicing medieval rapier combat (fencing) for almost 30 years. I am atypical of fencers in that I’m short and heavyset.

The single best mistake an opponent can make is to judge me on my size and shape. More than once, I bested someone simply because they didn’t expect me to move as fast as I do in combat. Never judge a book by a cover – because the substance within is the real story.

As a fencer, I am enough. However – there’s room for improvement. I can sharpen my skills and get better. That’s for me to choose and decide. But even if I do – some will always see me as not enough. I can’t do anything for or about that.

The important part is perceiving myself as enough. When I don’t, is that due to what I believe I need or what I think others expect of me? If the former – there’s work to be done for growth and change. But if it’s the latter – I need to let it go and do what’s right for me to be enough for me – not them.

The one true judge of whether you are enough or not is yourself. The way you’re perceived by anyone else is not within your control. So, if you feel you’re not enough – is that because of change you desire for yourself – or – meeting the expectations of others?

Recognizing that you are enough isn’t hard

It begins with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Knowing that even if you feel that you’re not enough – so long as that’s about you and not how anyone else regards you – you are worthy of loving yourself and recognizing your abundance and awesomeness. When you strive to grow and change, be mindful that you do so for yourself. When you love yourself for who you are, see how you’re enough – and worthy and deserving of striving to become even better – that ultimately empowers you.

Feeling empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and spreads to more people. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity. A feedback loop we can all take part in.

Then, we build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of our lives for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

You, me, and everyone is worthy and deserving of all the good we desire. 

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundred and seventy-eighth entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post You are Enough appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

How Do You Suffer Fools?

I, for one, don’t suffer fools easily.

Presently, the United States is a nation of surreal paradox.

On the one hand, you have some of the finest tech and scientific minds you can imagine. On the other hand, you have people who think the Earth is flat and vaccines cause autism or implant microchips. Some schools teach robotics and advanced math while others teach creationism and refuse to acknowledge ongoing racism in the country.

It is very hard not to see people lacking reason, logic, and understanding – and not be frustrated by them. Spend 5 minutes scrolling through Facebook or Twitter and they’ll be on display.

I am fortunate. My family is liberal and believes in science, medicine, reason, kindness, compassion, and logic. Some of my friends are less fortunate. They contend with alt-right conservatives, religious zealots, anti-vaxxers, and liberal haters among their loved ones.

It’s hard enough to suffer fools you don’t know and never will. I can’t imagine how hard it must be when they’re relatives.

What’s more, in many cases there is not a damned thing you can do about them. During the 2016 election, I had a discussion with a coworker utterly convinced about the efficacy of Trump’s border wall. He spouted all the platitudes – it’ll stop the illegals coming across, stop the drugs being trafficked, and so on.

I offered to show him a dozen legitimate sources of proof he was wrong. He would have none of it. Worst of all, he was part of a majority in that particular workplace.

When you must, how DO you suffer fools? Like everything in life, there are options.

But first, an important truism.

You can control only you

You have control over nobody and nothing but yourself. To best exercise that control you practice mindfulness.

You are the only one inside your head, heart, and soul. Nobody else is in there – no matter how much they try, or you let their ideas/beliefs/values in. You’re it.

Practicing mindfulness gives you the power to be in complete control over yourself. This requires conscious awareness, here and now, of your inner being – your mindset/headspace/psyche self.

That conscious awareness comes from your sensory input (i.e. your six senses) and your conscious, in-the-now awareness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

When you know your inner being you gain access to your subconscious. That, then, opens you to assume control over your beliefs, habits, and values therein. When you gain that access and control, you become more capable of choosing and deciding how your life is to be.

You have control over yourself.

No matter how much you want to help those who are stuck in a reality that lacks logic, reason, kindness, compassion, and truth – you can’t. You can show them their errors, explain reason and logic – but you can’t change them. They will only change when and if they so choose.

But walking your own path, being mindful, and practicing conscious reality creation makes you a beacon of reason, hope, and light in the wake of fear, uncertainty, and darkness. Being on your own path and making choices and decisions for your life is the best way to suffer fools without letting them drive you mad.

That said, there are additional options you can use to suffer fools without making yourself crazed.

The options to suffer fools

The following are, in my experience, the options available to you and me for suffering fools. Please keep in mind that these will be colored by your perspective and perception of reality, how you see life, the Universe, and everything, and your experiences.

These are, of course, not the only options. But in my experience, they are the primary options available. Additionally, it’s possible to use them in combination or start with one and shift to another.

The important thing to take away from this idea is that you have choices for how to suffer fools – or not.

Ignore them – don’t engage

Self-explanatory – but if you’re like me, this feels disingenuous.

I am, by my nature, a teacher. Whether it’s medieval rapier combat, heralding a court, conscious reality creation, mindfulness, or writing tips and ideas – I love to expand the knowledge of others.

When you see willful ignorance, counterfactualism, unkindness, and similar surreal beliefs expressed – you want to help them see how they’re mistaken.

But unless they are obviously willing to learn, you can teach them nothing.

Take what they say and do – and ignore them. Don’t engage, walk away, just leave them be and remember you are not them.

This can be hard to do. You feel almost a physical need to show them the error of their beliefs. But it’s not going to be to any avail. Don’t waste your time and energy. Take a deep breath, let it out, walk away, and don’t engage.

Ignore them – but engage

Like the above, you ignore them. But not without at least a parting shot to let them know why you are ignoring them.

And I mean a parting shot. Don’t argue, don’t get into it – let them know you’re not going to engage – but you have an opinion and they need to be made aware of it.

For example, a friend of mine recently expressed their unwillingness to get the COVID-19 vaccine due to a major phobia of needles. Sure, I acknowledge that. However, I have another friend who has the worst needle phobia I’ve ever seen. And they have gotten both shots and fully vaccinated. Friend ‘A’ is making excuses – and when I called them out, they told me to drop it.

As a parting shot, I said “you do you – but we’ll not see one another in person anytime soon. Unless you get vaccinated.”

Ignoring and walking away with that one shot is a relief for you – but doesn’t engage a pointless, losing argument.

Photo by bantersnaps on UnsplashEngage them (suffer fools)

I do not recommend this at all. You will be frustrated, annoyed, and angry. When you suffer fools by engaging them you only hurt yourself.

So how do you get them to change their ways and see reason and logic?

Be the best you that you can be.

When you are being authentic, genuine, kind, compassionate, empathetic, and mindful – it shows. People take note that you’re balanced, centered, and in a good place. They see you consciously creating your reality. In time, they might want to know how you’re doing it.

By taking control of yourself, your paths, and your life – you become a trailblazer. People apt to follow the lead of others will be inclined to follow your way. Then, and only then, you may have an opportunity to help them see logic, reason, and be open to change.

There is one last option when it comes to needing to suffer fools.

Cut them off/cut them out of your life

This is a more drastic step than ignoring them. It requires you to cut the thread, end ties that bind and be flat-out done with them.

You unfriend them on Facebook, avoid them, and don’t engage in any way, shape, or form. Cut them out of your life and let them continue on their way – away from and without you.

The primary reason to do this is for the sake of your mental health and wellbeing. A lot of the things people in opposition and unwilling to engage in a logical discussion do is cause distress. Being hammered by opinions without logic, seeing a blatant lack of kindness and compassion, being called names, or having aspects of your beliefs insulted unreasonably takes a toll.

This might hurt. It may be hard to tell someone you love to fuck off. But if they are hurting you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually – or causing harm in any way – you have the right to free yourself of them.

We have a finite time in these bodies during this life. Suffering fools and being in pain because of it does more harm than good. Thus, sometimes the better part of valor is to cut them out/cut them off from your life and proceed without that poisoning.

I want to address one more super-important element when it comes to how you suffer fools.

Forgive yourself when you are the fool

Everyone will go through a crisis of conscience from time to time. You might learn a long-held belief or value lacked logic and reason. When all is said and done YOU may have been the fool being suffered.

It happens. Congratulations, you’re human. Now that you have come to this new place, applied logic and reason to remove/replace/alter a belief, value, or habit – forgive yourself.

We all make mistakes. Everyone holds onto a “truth” for a long time that turns out to be bullshit. That’s part of everyone’s life experience. When you see this, and you choose to change – forgive yourself for what you did.

I am not saying forget, neglect, or ignore it. Learn your lesson, keep mindful so you don’t repeat it. But forgive yourself for the error of your ways.

I believe a lot of why we see so much fear, uncertainty, and suffering in the world is less about forgiving others their wrongs – and more about forgiving ourselves. We are all perfectly imperfect. And when you recognize and acknowledge this, you can forgive yourself for that.

I, for one, don’t suffer fools easily

But neither will I waste my energy trying to show logic or reason to someone with blinders on.

Instead, I will work on myself. I will strive to walk the paths of my choosing. I’ll work on being the best, most genuine, authentic me that I can be.

You have the same options when it comes to how you suffer fools. The choices and decisions belong to you and you alone. Recognize them, acknowledge them, then choose and decide what option suits you, your mental health, and overall wellbeing best.

You are worthy and deserving of not having to deal with pointless, infuriating conflicts in your life. See where you stand, be the best you that you can be, and choose and decide for yourself.

How do you suffer fools in this topsy-turvy world?

This is the four-hundred and eighty-ninth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post How Do You Suffer Fools? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

You Belong Here

The positivity of this statement is tremendous. You belong here.

You might know your life’s purpose. Or you might not. Either way – you belong here.

I know a lot of people who struggle with questions big and small. They search for meaning, try to understand why they exist, the impact they have on the world, and more. Questing to understand life is good – it helps us to grow and learn. But whatever you find along the way, you belong here.

I get how that seems like a lie. A large portion of my life has been spent not belonging, not fitting in, feeling like and being an outsider. Despite that experience – I have always known that I belong, here, alive and experiencing all that the world has to offer me.

It’s not always easy, and sometimes you wonder if your purpose here is to suffer. Or worse, to be a bad example for others so they don’t fuck it up in the same way. But no matter what you are going through, you ARE here – and you belong.

That’s a good thing – because YOU are a good thing. You may not believe it – it may seem like a lie – but it’s the truth. There is worth and value that you, and you alone, bring to the world and the places literal and figurative that you occupy.

How do I know this to be true?

We are all one

Every single individual human being on this planet is made of the same Universal source energy. Deep beneath your core, unseen, is pure energy.

That energy is similar in everything in the Universe. From the smallest subatomic particle to the largest galaxy – the root is energy.

Energy can neither be created nor destroyed. It simply changes form and transmutes. We see this when ice melts into water and water boils to vapor. All the same basic stuff in unique and different forms. You and I are similar – and the solid form we occupy will transmute back to what it was before taking this form. Not destroyed, just changed.

The energy we’re made of is conscious. Not in the same way that you and I perceive being conscious – it goes much deeper than that. But to have experiences, to learn, evolve, and generally grow, the Universal source energy takes various forms to contribute to that.

In these bodies, we cease to recognize our connectivity to the Universal source energy of all. That’s why we seek outside of ourselves to make new connections and find meaning. It’s human nature to be more familiar with what you can experience via your senses than what you know inside of yourself.

As we quest outside of ourselves, we become disillusioned with the pictures we see. Because of the many artificial stratifications in our societies, the collective consciousness is fear-based.

What’s more, the outside picture focuses more on the individual and their accomplishments and contributions – or apparent lack – and their impact on the world. Held to a standard that is constantly changing, built on lack and scarcity, and frequently incomprehensible – success becomes this poorly defined goal almost always out-of-reach for many.

Which, in turn, leads to a sense of not belonging.

Yet you belong here.

You bring value to the world

You belong here because you bring value to the world. Admittedly, you might not always see it, may question it, and even disbelieve it. But you bring value and worth to the world just by being.

How? Because you came into being to experience the world and all it has to offer. We are complicated machines capable of building our dreams into reality like no other animal on this planet.

And on the other side of that coin, we can wreak destruction on a terrifying scale.

Most of us fall in the middle of these extremes. For some, they build their lives just to survive and exist with the occasional win. You score a promotion at your job, solve the puzzle, get the date, light the grill, find Waldo, and so on.

Those seem insignificant, right? They’re not. They are part of your personal life experience and may or may not teach lessons to you and others.

For every Neil Gaiman, Tony Robbins, and Paulo Coelho, there are a couple of dozen writers like me largely unknown – but producing quality work. Does that lessen my value and worth? No. When I share these ideas for positivity and conscious reality creation – or fantastical sci-fi and fantasy stories – I do so as part of my means to add value to this world.

But my path is not your path.

Maybe you have a dull job, no long-term goals you’re working on, or feel that you’ve not much to show for your life. But you have impacted others in ways you likely will never see – and gained knowledge to bring back to the Universal source energy when you return to it. That might not seem like much – but it is.

You belong here for the experience

Human beings have a unique ability to control our thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. We’re not merely here to survive and propagate the species – we’re here to experience physical reality.

Some people buy into the lack and scarcity messages of the fear-based society and see little good. They are constantly afraid of boogeymen that don’t exist. Many of our so-called leaders “in power” exploit those fears for their personal gain.

You and I have the choice to be manipulated as such – or take control and do the driving ourselves.

Your subconscious mind is still tapped into your origin at Universal source energy. But it’s subconscious – so unless you work on being consciously aware here and now of your life experience, it remains elusive.

Most people, rather than turn within to find meaning, look without instead. And while there are sources of meaning out there – all of them will redirect you inside. That requires applying mindfulness to connect to the subconscious and the empowerment therein.

One way to start this process is to recognize that you belong here. You’re not a burden, a mistake, or a problem. You are Universal source energy and of equal value to everyone else in this world. You may or may not know a greater purpose for the why and what of being here – but that’s part of the experience. Learning what that might be is one of the reasons why you belong here.

We’ve all had it rough for the last year or so. The pandemic, ludicrous world politics, opinion overwhelming science and reason, and uncertainty beyond anything we’ve ever seen before have dominated. That’s made everyone question life, the Universe, and everything in new, different, and sometimes scary ways.

That’s expanding the feeling of disconnection.

Nonetheless, you belong here.

Look inside yourself

Pause to look inside yourself, and you will see the truth. Be in the moment, here-and-now, and apply mindfulness.

Take it all in via your six senses. Then, recognize and experience your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. Right here and now, be aware and turn that inwards to your conscious inner being. Let your mindset/headspace/psyche self be fully present and experiencing it all.

That opens you to reach into your subconscious mind. It is in your subconscious where your habits, beliefs, and values lie.

But more than that, it’s in your subconscious where the connection to Universal source energy can be accessed.

You have all the power to make your life experience incredible. Knowing that you belong here opens the way to see this and find and/or create positivity for you and the world. No matter your struggles and challenges in life – you are meant to be. Look inside and you will see you belong here to add value and impact the world in some way or other.

The choice for the nature of that impact is yours. But whatever you choose – you belong here.

Thank you for being.

Recognizing that you belong here isn’t hard

It begins with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Knowing that even with all the uncertainty, challenges, and difficulties you face – you belong here. You can alter both what that means to you and how it impacts the world around you. When you apply the knowledge that you belong here to your life experience, it opens doors to numerous options, choices, and decisions. That ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and spreads to more people. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity. A feedback loop we can all take part in.

Then, we build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of our lives for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

You, me, and everyone are worthy and deserving of all the good we desire. 

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundred and seventy-eighth entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

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This is Who I Am

Who I am – an honest assessment of my flawed, imperfect self.

Almost ten and a half years ago, I began to explore this philosophy I call Pathwalking. Over that time, all of the articles I have written, additional blogging on mindfulness, conscious reality creation, positivity, and the like have changed who I am and how I approach my life.

The change has been for the better. But while I am in a good place – I am still working on becoming more of who I desire to be.

I have been on the cusp of realizing the life experience I most desire for years now. Part of why it’s been the cusp has been due to overthinking, setting goals too far ahead, and not acknowledging my successes, achievements, and their awesomeness along the way.

I can’t deny that I am very fortunate. Presently, I have the luxury to work on my desired goal for my life experience. And I am, in truth, living it. With one exception both within and beyond my control.

Despite all that I write and practice in mindfulness, conscious reality creation, staying optimistic and positive – I am flawed. I get it wrong, fuck it up, and make a total mess of things along the way.

This is because I am human – and like all humans, perfectly imperfect. While I will sometimes berate and otherwise beat myself up for this – I am learning to better forgive myself. Which, of course, is key to moving on and making the most of life.

To pass the cusp where I have been stuck for a while now, I need to begin by assessing where I am, here and now. I am sharing this because I believe it applies to you and your life situation, too.

Recognizing that I am where I desire to be (mostly)

Currently, I am living the life I have most desired to live.

What does that look like? This is me, working as a full-time writer. I’m writing blogs 6 days a week, editing existing writing works for publication, and writing new fiction daily.

As such, I work from my perfectly pleasant home office. I have a great arrangement, the proper equipment for my needs, and am creating a lot.

The schedule I keep is set by me, and balances necessary work/life matters. Every day I’m exercising, meditating, practicing gratitude and mindfulness, too.

When I do pick up a freelance gig from time to time, I am still writing, editing, or doing content creation. Overall, I’m my own boss and feel good about what I’m doing and how I’m doing it.

I am more content, balanced, centered, and happy with my life as it is.

Despite the formation of a level of comfort, I recognize that change is inevitable and unavoidable. So, rather than allow change to overwhelm or surprise me – I’m working to direct and control it via mindfulness.

Thus, I am increasing how many titles I’m offering among my fiction works. Additionally, I’m working to figure out how to share my philosophy, mindset, and conscious reality creation processes via talks either online or in-person (once we are past this pandemic) – or – with some sort of class program offering.

Cheesy as it might sound – I think I’d be a good life coach. Or at least able to talk about the process and help people find their own ways with similar tools.

These things are not insurmountable. The issue I am having – where I am mostly where I desire to be – is the ongoing hangup I have with the green stuff.

Who I am and money

Money and I have a completely fucked up relationship.

I need to start with this statement: I recognize that I have a certain degree of privilege here. I’m more-or-less a middle-class, cis-gendered white middle-aged male. Overall, we’ve never been wanting, and I’ve never gone without essentials. Further, I live in the northeastern United States, have what’s considered a good education, and live in a middle-class neighborhood.

All that being written – when it comes to money and a sense of security or sufficiency – there have been ongoing issues. For example, I’ve had my electricity shut off because I couldn’t pay my bill, wrecked my credit by maxing out and being unable to pay my credit cards, and played the “pay this not that” game with my bills.

The best explanation I have is that there are gnarly beliefs in money, having money, and making money that I can’t entirely pinpoint to change. I’m fairly certain they’re from my childhood and buried deep below the surface.

Presently, the one sticking point that keeps me from getting past being on the cusp of fully realizing my desired life experience is money.

I’m not talking about buying expensive cars, boats, and the newest technologies money – I’m talking about never-worry-about-paying-bills and feeling secure and sufficient sufficiency money.

Sure, I’d love to get beyond that – but not so I can get more toys. No, I would very much like to make regular large donations to worthy causes, help friends and family in need, and help other people get free of the fear-based societal mindset and it’s attendant Stockholm Syndrome issues.

I’m striving with my mindfulness practice to heal my relationship with money. I’m sharing this as a part of that.

Money is not evil – but it brings out both the best and the worst in people.

Identity and who I am

You may not know me personally. I may just be MJ Blehart, author, to you. Perhaps you are a friend or family member who calls me by my given ‘M’ name. Then, you might be part of the international medieval society I’ve been a part of for nearly 30 years, and the name I chose for my persona might be who you think of me as.

The meat popsicles that are our bodies are not who we are. They become the physical place where we exist in this world at this time. Within them are our identities, made up of our subconscious and conscious mind.

Identities tend to lead to labels. Thus, my meatsuit is a short, heavyset, white, middle-aged man. Just below that surface, I am an American, Jewish, liberal, opinionated, wiseass.

But below the surface and immediate sub-surface, I am human. Like you. No matter our backgrounds, experiences, real and artificial differences, we’re the same. At our deepest depths we’re not just the same – but of the same Universal Source Energy.

That being written, you and I are both on unique journeys through life. What lights me up and brings me joy isn’t going to be what does the same for you – even if they are similar.

All of us get caught up in comparative, competitive, unrealistic matches between one another. But ultimately, all of us seek to have experiences and make connections. That’s what we’re here, living these lives, to do. To live.

And that’s why I have made the choices and decisions I have to explore and use mindfulness, conscious reality creation, positivity, and all the other tools I can learn, find, or create to live an incredible life.

And I desire to share those to help you do the same.

Kindness, compassion, and empowerment

After getting hit by a car crossing a street and a year of recovery that ensued, I realized that there was a choice. I could curl up in a ball and await death, let life live me and just heal as time and the doctors could heal me. OR – I could live life and put in effort and work to achieve the outcome I most desired.

And I did. Today, unless I show you the scars, you can’t tell how badly broken I was, or that I’m partially held together with titanium.

I could have taken the lessons I learned during that experience and kept them to myself. Fearing competition, lots of people don’t share because of believing that doing so means there’s less to go around.

But that’s not me. I see how kindness, compassion, and empathy empower. Conversely, I see how unkindness, cruelty, and selfishness disempower.

While I certainly credit my rapid and complete healing to my mindfulness practice and use of the Law of Attraction to consciously create a reality of myself being whole and just as capable as I was before – I KNOW it wasn’t just me. My friends and family offered me tremendous love and support. I had amazing doctors, nurses, and therapists, and incredible overall support. It was all this, together, that got me where I desired to be and healed.

This is why I share who I am with you. Because I desire to build you up.  

Who I am – who you are – we are stronger together

We – ALL OF US – are stronger together. When we understand and work with this, we spread kindness, compassion, and empowerment. Despite what toxic personalities spew – kindness, compassion, and empathy make us STRONG.

There are so many disempowering forces in the world. They have created a fear-based society and strive to divide us for their own petty interests. When you are empowered, however, you can better recognize this. When you do, you can work to be a beacon of light in the dark and spread compassion, kindness, and empathy.

And that, in turn, empowers.

To quote Marianne Williamson and her Our Deepest Fear,

“And as we let our own light shine, 
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. 
As we’re liberated from our own fear, 
Our presence automatically liberates others.”

And this is why I share with you who I am – a perfectly imperfect, flawed, passionate, crazy person. To overcome the “cusp” I’ve been at for so long I need to shine my brightest.

You might find this some serious hooky-spooky bullshit. That’s fair. But I need to be my authentic self. So, this is who I am – a paradox of form and function. Just like everyone else.

Yet perhaps my light will not just serve me but guide you to a world of reason, abundance, and joy instead of the present fear, scarcity, and sorrow.

This is nearly as complete a picture as I can share with you. Since you can’t get in my head with me – there are limits to showing you who I am.

I hope that sharing this inspires you to be kind, compassionate, empathetic towards yourself as well as others – and be empowered.

This is who I am. What do you share of who you are?

This is the four-hundred and eighty-fifth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

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