M.J. Blehart's Blog, page 46

Move Past Yesterday

Whether it was good or bad, yesterday has come and gone.

Photo by Hadija Saidi on Unsplash

When I write about yesterday, I’m not necessarily referring to the day before today. Yesterday, in this context, is mostly referring to the past.

Many people get stuck in their lives because of the past. Things great and small, personal and impersonal hold them back. Some yearn for a return to yesterday – while others would like nothing better than to recreate the past the same in the future.

There is an absolute truth here that we need to recognize and acknowledge.

The past has passed. Yesterday is gone. You cannot go back, return to it, redo it, or recreate it as it was.

When people neither recognize nor acknowledge this truth, stagnation and worse can occur.

For example – rather than the COVID-19 pandemic being largely over, the Delta variant is returning us to mask-wearing and more necessarily severe indoor restrictions.

So many people were in a rush to return to how life was pre-pandemic that they neglected that that was impossible. Of course, it doesn’t help that all sorts of outside influencers have been selling a “return to normal” in one form or another.

But the truth is that we can’t “return” to normal – or otherwise restore how life was yesterday. Many people see this as a terrible thing. But the truth is – it’s only a bad thing when you think it’s bad.

You have a choice for how you live now and going forward to tomorrow.

Hindsight tends to be Pollyanna

There is a huge machine inside of American society hell-bent on returning us to the “family values” of the 1950s and 1960s. Specifically, the wholesome Leave it to Beaver and Dick Van Dyke Show idealizations of that era.

Of course, this utterly disregards the struggles of women and minorities, LGBTQA+ individuals, and anyone else not white middle-class. And, after Trump’s presidency, some of it is blatantly white-supremacist – but whatever the case may be, it’s an impossible ideal.

This whole idea of returning to a “happier, better time” or the ludicrous, misguided “Make America Great Again” notion blatantly ignores the truth. Yesterday is gone. It is impossible to go back in time.

Why? Because change is inevitable. Change is also the one constant in the whole Universe. So many elements of the world, both big and small, have changed in the almost three-fourths of a century that has come since the 50s and 60s.

All the gains in civil rights and for equality cannot be dialed back (nor should they be). We have connectivity allowing instantaneous global communications leaps and bounds beyond what we had. Information is at the tips of our fingertips – though, unfortunately, disinformation is as readily available.

The bygone era of yesterday is bye, gone. There is no going back – and frankly, it’s time more people realize, recognize, and acknowledge this truth.

Why? Because, frankly, it’s good to move past yesterday.

It’s good that today isn’t yesterday

There were a lot of less-than-ideal matters of yesterday, historically, that it is good are gone. That so many still bite us in the ass today is an unfortunate byproduct of industries selling nostalgia and convincing consumers that we CAN return to the past.

But we can’t. And that’s a good thing.

Why is it good? Because since yesterday, we have grown. There have been new lessons learned, ideas made real, and the world has changed considerably because of them.

You’re reading this online, via a phone, tablet, computer, or similar tech. My words are potentially available to over 4.5 billion people – more than half the population of the world. The potential to reach that many people is less than a quarter of a century old. Yesterday this would have been impossible. But here we are.

Sure, some change is bad. And a lot of change in the world at large is way outside of yours and my control. But because change is constant and utterly inevitable – yesterday is no more.

Accepting that removes a weight on our shoulders most of us feel – but seldom realize is there.

Photo by Ankush Minda on UnsplashReleasing the past begins with you and me

While I can argue until I’m blue in the face that our society needs to better recognize, acknowledge, and then move past yesterday – I can’t do anything about that. Nobody has that kind of power.

But I can change. I can choose to work with change in the now and going forward – without nostalgically holding onto a return to yesterday. When it comes to me and how I see yesterday – I can recognize and acknowledge that it is the past and I cannot return to it.

The only reason this isn’t easy is because society is fixated on the past in more ways than one.

For example – my mom has this vision of me based on who I was as much as 20 years ago. But that’s not who I am – nor who I’ve been – for a long time, now. But still, that’s where she is.

Because of that, she judges me, my life choices, and other matters about my life based on a version of who I was in a distant yesterday. Which she often brings up in the hope that I might return to some of the ideals I held back then.

If this applied to who I am now and/or who I might be striving to be going forward, that would be one thing. But for the most part – those ideals ceased to speak to me long ago.

That’s a very personal example. Trump’s entire campaign focused on a notion of returning the nation to past greatness – which, frankly, never was. Not to keep harping on that guy, but it’s simply the easiest wider-view example to turn to.

I only control MY life. Thus, I have the power to choose to move past yesterday.

You choose to live in yesterday, today, or tomorrow

Pause a moment. Where are you, right now? What are you doing? What are you thinking? How and what are you feeling? What are your current intentions?

Asking any or all of the above questions puts you in the here and now. Thus, you become consciously aware. Or, to use the buzz word, mindful. But that’s a good thing.

Mindfulness of the here-and-now lets you see both where you were and where you could go. Today, you can look back to yesterday and determine what you learned from it – and look forward with those lessons and see how today’s choices drive you from here to there. Or not.

What’s more, being in the now, consciously aware of the present, will show you that yesterday is the past and tomorrow is potential. And you can choose where to go from here.

I get that for some people, yesterday was awesome. Or at least, they think it was. And maybe it was incredible. But it is no more – and we must keep moving forward. This is why attempting to return to the world pre-COVID-19 isn’t working. Nor will it. Because yesterday is no more.

When you learn to make your peace with that – you empower yourself. That empowerment allows you to move past yesterday into today. And when you are here, now, you open yourself to see and work with change rather than be bulldozed and overwhelmed by it.

The only reason this isn’t easy is because you need to resist a lot of outside messages and influences pushing a return to yesterday on you. But recognizing and acknowledging that we can’t opens the door – but only for you and me.

When you and I move past yesterday, we help show others the way to also move past yesterday.

It isn’t hard to move past yesterday

It begins with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Knowing that yesterday is the past – and we cannot return to it, redo it, undo it, or do it over – recognizing and acknowledging this unavoidable truth opens the way to learn lessons from the past and be more present in the now. When we are more consciously aware – ergo, mindful – in the here and now, we can do more to take control of change and make choices to impact both today and tomorrow. And that ultimately empowers us.

When you are empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and spreads to more people. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity. A feedback loop everyone everywhere can take part in.

Then, we build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That becomes the impetus to improve numerous aspects of our lives for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

You, me, and everybody are worthy and deserving of all the good we desire. 

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundred and ninety-second entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Move Past Yesterday appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Don’t Trip Over How

Along any given path it’s easy to trip over how

Photo by Yann Allegre on Unsplash

It’s been a decade since I began to seek, find, and walk my chosen path.

This has occurred in fits and starts, with some success here and achievement there. But there is one hurdle, one obstacle that still tends to trip me up.

How.

Further, this gets complicated by walking the line of reality as it is now versus as it could be via conscious reality creation. I know where I was, I know where I am, I know where I desire to be. Now – how do I connect these and make it so?

It’s all too easy to trip over how. It’s an amazing unknown that we frequently look to understand. While this can be a really good thing – it can also be a serious tripping hazard.

What’s good about understanding how

The Universe is unbelievably vast. Like, so big, that the human mind can hardly even remotely wrap itself around the size. If you think a tiny insect compared to the whole of the continent of Asia seems massive, take that tiny insect and compare it to the size of our local solar system. And you still haven’t done more than scratch the surface of size comparison on this scale.

The point is – there are theologians, scientists, philosophers, and others seeking to understand the how of the Universe. How are we here? And how did it all begin? How might it all end? And on, and on, and on.

For most of us, however, these are understandings far too grand to seriously ponder. They exist on a level we don’t really need to explore, frankly.

But seeking answers and asking questions leads to growth. To gain experience, to learn all that you can about life, the Universe, and everything, how is a question to be asked.

But sometimes asking “how” and trying to understand it takes too much focus. And distracts you. Then, you trip over how and stumble on your life path.

That takes many different forms. Indecision, fear of choosing wrong, concerns that not knowing how means you can’t succeed, and so on. Too much focus on working out how stays your hand and causes stagnation.

If you knew how you’d already be going it

This is a tough notion to understand, let alone accept. If I knew how to get more people to buy my books – and studios to option the movie rights – I’d be doing it.

Others have done it. And I try to use their example to do it, too. But since my work is not the same as their work – how is different.

Most of our grandest dreams and ambitions are easy to identify. We can see what we want, where we want to be, why it would be awesome, and so on. But how do we get there? That’s a total unknown.

Maybe not a total unknown, though. For example – to be a writer you must write. If I never write a word, never finish a book, nor take any other steps to get from here to there – it won’t happen. How is irrelevant.

This is why, with conscious reality creation, you cannot work from a pure vacuum. Do you want to be a great actor? Cool – what are you doing to get out there as an actor? If the answer is nothing – how won’t matter.

If you are studying acting in school, going to auditions, seeking mentors, and putting yourself out there – now the question of how do you best succeed has validity. But focusing too much on it will cause you to trip over how on the path.

Why? Because my how, your how, his how, her how, their how, and every other form you can think of is as different and unique as we are.

Why we trip over how

How did Neil Gaiman become an almost household name as a fantasy author? What process got George RR Martin’s Song of Ice and Fire books made into a culturally popular fantasy TV series? How did Spiral Wars sci-fi series author Joel Shepherd get his work to a level where his seller rank is in the low 5-digit range while I struggle to keep my novels within 6-digits?

If I knew how they did it – I would do it, too. However – their paths are not my path. All of them have gotten to where they are in their own way. But that doesn’t mean I can’t learn from that.

But if I get too focused on the how it will only trip me up.

We trip over how because there is never One True Way, and what works for me might not work for you and vice versa. So, we get stuck in uncertainty over how to get from here to there – and that becomes a hell of an obstacle along the path we’re walking.

I know where I was, I know where I am, I know where I desire to be. I can look back to how I got from where I was to where I am. And that can help inform me as to options, steps, and potential means to an end. But to get from where I am now to where I desire to be is a challenge.

This can be massively infuriating. And, just to add insult to injury, many of the people you know and associate with will also question how ad nauseam.

Photo by aisvri on UnsplashMindfulness now clarifies the obstacles

How do you make any money doing that? Do you know how to get seen? How will you succeed? Can you tell me how you expect that to work? And so on and so forth. Too many messages of this nature become a part of why we trip over how.

When the answer is “I don’t know”, that can be frustrating, depressing, and difficult. However, it can also be exciting, introspective, and empowering.

This depends, in part, on what follows “I don’t know.” If it’s “I am unsure and lost”, that’s placing you in a disempowering, negative mindset/headspace. Conversely, if it’s “but I will figure it out”, that’s placing you in an empowering, positive mindset/headspace.

Conscious reality creative is working on empowerment to find and/or create life how you most desire it to be. Pathwalking is choosing what path you take to that end. Just because how you do a thing is a mystery doesn’t make it any less worthwhile. It’s just another challenge.

Defining what, why, where, and who you are – here and now – is important. Once you have that, you open more options for working out the means to become who you desire to be and are less apt to trip over how.

It’s important to be mindful for clarity. Mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions shows you your inner being, your mindset/headspace/psyche self. That insight opens the door to look deeper. This allows you to work with your subconscious and be more consciously aware of your habits, values, and beliefs.

This process gives you knowledge that makes figuring out how more manageable.

Don’t trip over how

When you reach the tripping hazard of a how, pause. Rather than run over it and trip yourself up, get more clarity on other, easier to answer questions.

Why, what, where, and who am I are easily defined via practical mindfulness. Knowing these answers – here and now – makes finding ways to manage how far easier.

Additionally – knowing these can also make surrendering to the Universe an easier prospect.

When you do the work, put in the effort take the steps along your chosen path – and you find you’re about to trip over how – the leap of faith is the answer. You need to accept that everything is figureoutable (thank you, Marie Forleo) and that how will work itself out.

Again, you cannot do this from a vacuum – there needs to be effort to consciously create anything you desire, no matter the path you walk for it. Effort is necessary and required to get from here to there – no matter what that looks like for you.

Lastly – know that you are worthy and deserving of consciously creating your reality. The path you choose is your right. Nobody but you knows what’s right for you. You are no less worthy or deserving of being the best you that you can be than anyone else. The world deserves you and your gifts. If you are unsure of the way you are capable of finding and/or making it.

What do you do to not trip over how and similar obstacles on your path?

This is the five-hundred and second exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Don’t Trip Over How appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Why Choose Positivity?

Because choosing positivity empowers you.

Photo by Dino Reichmuth on Unsplash

Every day, you have choices.

Get out of bed or sleep in? Oatmeal or yogurt for breakfast? Make or order lunch? Steak or chicken for dinner? Go to bed at 10 or 11?

These choices are frequent, constant, and seemingly insignificant. But they are neither inconsequential nor insignificant.

Life is all about choices. Great or small, everything you choose impacts everything you do.

For example – let’s say you sleep in. And sleep past your alarm. Now, your morning routine is shot, you’re in a rush, and it sets a pace for the day of constant hurry and feeling – whether you are or not – behind. That one choice impacted your entire day.

Why does that matter? Because that for an entire day you felt off, out of control, and probably unbalanced. One choice changed almost every aspect of your overall day.

Many of the choices before us are relatively neutral. They are neither good nor bad, positive nor negative – they just are. The aforementioned “get out of bed or sleep in” falls into this category.

However, while the choice at hand might be neutral – the consequences likely are not. I know, for example, that on multiple occasions I chose to sleep in. More often than not, that led to missing my alarm. The scenario above – of a day thrown off completely – transpired. A whole day got wasted as such.

Recognizing this – I now know that choosing to ignore the alarm and sleep in is likely to have negative consequences. Weighing the negative of sleeping in over the positive of getting up – in the long-term rather than the immediate – the more positive outcome is obvious. It’s clearer which is the better choice.

Choosing positivity, as such, is choosing the be empowered.

Mindfulness of the moment

To be fair – sometimes you need to sneak in that extra sleep. Sometimes the morning routine is not the more positive option. But this is where mindfulness of the moment comes into play.

If 7/10 times that I sleep in, rather than get out of bed, I miss my alarm – then I know the probable consequence of my choice. Odds are – 70% – that I will throw my whole day off. Is it worth it to take that chance? Will the extra sleep rather than getting out of bed be worth wrecking the whole rest of my day?

The answer may be yes. But, knowing the greater possibility of no, the choice is mine.

Mindfulness is analysis in the here-and-now of my mindset/headspace/psyche. Granted, a bit more challenging when you just wake up – but still doable.

And, if I know the odds-on favorite for a day of negativity is to not get out of bed – then I can choose positivity and get up.

Too simple? It is. And it’s the simplicity of the empowerment that comes from choosing positivity that makes it worthwhile.

You face too much disempowerment already

Everywhere you turn, someone is trying to disempower you. Some of these disempowering things are active – but most are passive.

For example – advertisers disempower you. How? By toying with your emotions. Feel bad, undesirable, and left out. Unless you buy the chips, the shoes, the car, the insurance, or what-have-you.

News media disempowers you. How? Again, they toy with your emotions and make you feel outrage, anger, frustration, and other negatives over matters you have very little to no control of.

Bosses, coworkers, teachers, even friends disempower you. How? By demanding things of you and threatening to harm you or cause suffering if you don’t deliver. Meet this deadline or lose your bonus. Help me with my workload or I will never help you with yours again. Do the assignment wrong and get a bad grade – risk failing class. Give up your time for me or else you show I am not valued.

Many of the disempowering things we encounter are not malicious, of ill-intent, or necessarily bad. But they create lack and limitation – and cause us to accept less than our true worth and value.

When you have a choice – you get to choose empowerment or disempowerment. Positivity or negativity. Why choose positivity? Because positivity empowers you.

Photo by Natalie Hua on UnsplashWhy choose positivity?

You are worthy and deserving of being empowered.

There are almost 8 billion people on this planet. Nobody is greater nor lesser than anyone else. All of us are here to experience everything we can, learn as much as we desire, and live as fully as possible.

Everyone.

Positivity empowers. It is an open door, a window to the world, an option that feels good, right, and true.

I am not talking about positivity with blinders, rose-colored glasses, or a no-negativity Pollyanna world. That’s toxic positivity. No, I am talking about positivity in the realm of mindfulness. Positivity that informs your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

When things are bad, positivity is seeking and finding good to supplant them. In the dark, positivity is seeking and finding the light. Thus, you need the negative to find the positive.

Choosing positivity empowers you because you make a choice. Rather than let negativity, unwanted happenings, or circumstances control you – you choose.

Choosing negativity disempowers because it’s the equivalent of giving up and admitting defeat. Fine, I can’t do it. Everything is crap. There is no hope. Why bother? Can you see how disempowering choosing that is?

Choosing positivity, on the other hand, empowers because it’s the equivalent of persevering and keeping on. I can do it. Everything is figureoutable. There is hope. It’s doable. Can you see how empowering choosing that is?

When you actively, mindfully choose positivity, you choose to take back your empowerment. The empowerment that is your birthright.

You are worthy and deserving

Maybe I know you – and maybe not. But either way, I know this: You are worthy and deserving of living life to the fullest. No matter where you are, where you came from, past choices, and decisions – you are worthy and deserving of taking control over your life.

Empowerment is limited to you alone. I can’t control you any more than you can control me. But I have total control over myself. Specifically, over my thoughts, feelings, actions, intentions, and their impact on my mindset/headspace/psyche self.

When all is said and done – that’s the only control anyone has. And it’s enough because that control empowers us.

Choosing positivity acknowledges that power and control. That choice determines numerous matters great and small. No matter who you are – you are worthy and deserving of that.

So long as you do no intentional harm in what you choose – it’s a worthy choice. Don’t fear the possibility and potential. You are empowered to do virtually anything you can conceive of. And that is as worthy and deserving of you as you are of it.

Choosing positivity isn’t hard

It begins with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Knowing that nearly every situation you face, every day, comes with a choice – you can decide if you will choose positivity or negativity. Even when it’s not apparent in the moment – you can use mindfulness to see what choices will have a positive versus a negative outcome. When we spend the time and energy on this – and actively strive to choose positivity – that ultimately empowers us.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and spreads to more people. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity. A feedback loop we can all take part in.

Then, we build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of our lives for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

You, me, and everybody are worthy and deserving of all the good we desire. 

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundred and ninety-first entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Why Choose Positivity? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

What I Believe is True

Even though what I believe is true – I have the power to change it.

Photo by Aurora Fox on Unsplash

I know more than one person struggling right now. Frankly, in multiple ways, I am struggling, too.

The struggle is based on who I am now – versus – who I was and have been – versus – who I desire to be.

When you have been applying certain beliefs, habits, and values for as long as you can remember – they seem unchangeable. They appear to be solid, immutable, ever-present things whether they’re tangible or intangible.

However – they are not solid nor immutable. That’s because change is the one constant – the only constant – in the Universe. Glacially slow or stunningly swift, change is always ongoing.

When it comes to who I am now, who I was, and who I desire to be – change becomes a choice. Not an easy choice by any stretch of the imagination. But a choice, nonetheless.

There are generally three obstacles to change. Two you can work with while one you can’t.

The two obstacles you can work with are outside influencers and internal, subconscious beliefs. The one you can’t work with is the external factors you have zero control over.

Even considering these obstacles, the largest obstacle to change is this: what I believe is true. And long-held, deeply rooted beliefs are hard to let go of because they are – and have seemingly always been – true.

They ARE changeable. But the effort it takes to work with that is tremendous.

Yet I believe it’s worth it. So, I am doing all I can to change beliefs about myself that do not serve me. While this is not easy – I am certain that it will be worth it.

The three obstacles to change

The three main obstacles to change from above are,

External factors you have zero control overOutside influencersInternal subconscious values, beliefs, and habits

What are the external factors you have zero control over? All the shit that happens day to day. Some are way outside your control and generally have no immediate impact on you. Like politics, climate change, the pandemic, and so on.

Others may impact you here and now. Like the weather, coworkers, traffic, the doings of friends and family, random strangers in a line with you, and so on.

For example, I can’t control anyone and make them buy my books so that my sales increase. This is an obstacle outside of my control.

Outside influencers are lessons, experiences, and the like from without that color what you believe. This includes what other people tell you about how you should be, what you should be doing with your life, and so on. Some are direct – people telling you that are concerned about your choices influencing what you believe.

Most, though, are passive – things you learned via experiences you have, something someone said that planted a seed and took root, the news you read, and so on.

They are changeable because you can choose how they impact you – or not. You can disregard them at will.

The largest obstacle, however, is internal. Years of holding onto values, beliefs, and habits get deeply ingrained. When they are all you have known for as far back as you can recall, they certainly look unchangeable.

If I have believed ‘X’ about myself for 30+ years – that looks like something set and unmovable. But because change is constant – it CAN be altered. But that’s a choice for me to make. Or not.

What I believe is true
– vs –
What I would choose to believe is true

This is, for me, is the largest struggle I face in changing beliefs, values, and habits.

Why? Because many of the things I believe I don’t fully understand the root of. Which makes altering them especially challenging.

For example – I believe I can make my living as a writer. That’s what I would choose to believe is true.

Deep, deep into my subconscious is a jumble of outdated beliefs fighting this. For example,

Years of being told that only doctors, lawyers, business moguls, and the like make real moneyReceiving messages about how becoming a bestselling author is nearly impossibleDoubts stemming from all the rejections I got when I tried to publish via the traditional routeQuestioning whether I’m worthy and deserving of successFears of abandonment due to success (or failure)

Like I wrote – a jumble of outdated beliefs. Some are based on outside influencers and others are from very much within.

If I hold to the belief of any of the above – then that remains true. Consciousness creates reality. But when you are not mindful of your conscious mind, subconsciousness creates reality.

In the words of Henry Ford,

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”

If I give energy to any of the above beliefs, they will remain true. Yet every single one of them can be changed.

Photo by carolyn christine on UnsplashChanging what I believe is true

The first step in changing any belief is to recognize and acknowledge it. Then, you need to find and/or create a replacement.

For example – only doctors, lawyers, business moguls, and the like make real money. I know that’s not true because Neil Gaiman, George RR Martin, NK Jemisin, and many other sci-fi and fantasy authors make real money. If they can do it – I can do it.

Becoming a bestselling author is nearly impossible. Maybe so. But becoming a successful author doesn’t require being a bestseller. I know there are plenty of writers out there making their living on writing. That’s my primary goal, after all.

Doubts stemming from all the rejections I got. Timing is everything, and the traditional publishing world might not be where I belong.

Questioning whether I’m worthy and deserving of success. This is super intangible. But I am a good person, a hard worker, and strive to do no harm. So why wouldn’t I be worthy and deserving of success?

Fears. This is the single, biggest issue of them all. Fear. It’s fear that keeps most of us from taking the leaps, making drastic changes, and striving to be who we believe we are meant to be.

It is fear that holds me back. Fear is what causes me to self-sabotage. Why? Because change is uncertain. Even with the best intentions and greatest plans, the outcome is uncertain. And uncertainty is terrifying.

Fear of suffering is the ultimate fear.

What if I fuck it all up? What if I get it completely right? Will I lose everyone and everything I hold dear? Am I going to be shunned, abandoned, and left to suffer? Ultimately – will I experience terrible suffering?

That, I believe, is the greatest fear of all. Hence, what I believe is true.

The ultimate fear

Paulo Coelho covers this rather brilliantly with this line from The Alchemist,

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.”

It’s not what will come of the realization of my fears that is the main obstacle. It’s the fear of the suffering that stays my hand.

For most of the people I know who are struggling, this is the primary issue they face. It’s worse when they have already been struggling. Nobody wants to struggle. It’s not fun, it feels terrible, and it is disheartening.

Often, the fear gets a softer approach. It’s not addressed as fear, which looks immense – but instead, as concern, worry, trouble, stress, and so on.

When you have experienced pain and suffering – fearing more will stop you from working actively on changing.

Yet change will happen. The real question is – how much control over it will you give yourself?

Not take. Give yourself. Because you must allow yourself to receive the power to control change.

I am the way I am. It’s how I’ve always been. There is no alternative. This is how it is. So long as I believe this – it is true.

But it’s not the truth. I can change anything about myself I desire to. It’s just a matter of giving myself permission to take that power and make changes.

Even though what I believe is true – I have the power to change it. As I walk the paths I choose for my life, what I believe is true. And if that isn’t aligning between where I’ve been, where I am now, and where I desire to be – I can change it.

I know that what I believe is true. I also know that it can be changed. That is ultimately empowering.

What do you believe?

This is the five-hundred and first exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post What I Believe is True appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Outrage Culture Serves Nobody

Outrage culture is tearing our society apart.

Photo by Colin Lloyd on Unsplash

There have been a lot of different talking points about cancel culture. Most of this is fed by false ideas of erasing, this, that, or the other thing for “political correctness”, “woke culture”, and other such notions. The idea of cancel culture is thoroughly divisive, too.

But the real issue, to me, is not this notion of cancel culture. The real problem is the pervading outrage culture.

People find reasons to get outraged at the drop of a hat. It takes little to nothing to set people off and get them ranting and raving.

Being outraged by this, that, or the other thing is a choice. You have decided to let that thing – big, small, personal, or impersonal – set your mood and dominate your mindset/headspace/psyche.

That’s not to say that some of these matters aren’t worth getting upset about. BUT – and this is important – what can you do?

When it comes to the big picture, worldview matters – politics, COVID-19 vaccinations, billionaires going to space, and the like – it’s important to be aware. But beyond that – outrage doesn’t serve you or me.

Let’s face facts. There is little to nothing we can do about the big picture matters. The only thing we CAN do is vote in elections, make calls and send emails, not support businesses doing awful things, attend protests – and that’s about it.

Being outraged and expressing that outrage doesn’t serve anyone. It just feeds the negativity – and that, in turn, feeds the fear. Because when all is said and done most outrage – at its heart – is fear.

Outrage is an expression of fear

Why do anti-vaxxers spark outrage in me?

Because when all is said and done – I am afraid of the damage their rhetoric is doing. Thanks to the whole anti-vax movement, a huge swath of the population aren’t getting the COVID vaccine. Thus, the new Delta variant is hitting far harder than it would if more people were vaccinated.

This means we’re once again in danger of needing to close shit down for containment. Then that means another period of isolation and watching more partisan bullshit as people politicize public health.

Oh, and then – of course – more people can and will die. Which means I could lose more people I know and care about.

The outrage I feel towards people unwilling to acknowledge COVID-19 or vaccinate is white-hot. But it’s really a cover for the fear. The fear that shit will come apart again, people will be lost, and further collapse will negatively impact me and mine.

This is the perfect example of outrage being all about fear. Further – it shows that there are few options available to do much of anything about this – and feeling outraged doesn’t serve me.

What CAN I do? I have gotten vaccinated. I can choose to not engage with people who won’t, nor patronize businesses and services that cater to the bullshit. Also, I can share with people why they absolutely should get vaccinated – and the like.

Becoming outraged, however, utterly disempowers you, me, and everyone.

Outrage culture disempowers

Why does outrage disempower? Because it’s an expression of fear that gets turned outward (literally – outrage equals outward-facing rage) and serves nobody.

Outrage CAN wake people up, that’s true. It can spark action. Outraged at the unequal treatment of black people, Martin Luther King, Jr. encouraged nonviolent protests. The outrage – rather than just being fear-expressed rage – led to action.

But frankly, that’s rare. More often than not, outrage leads nowhere. It’s just expressed loudly and spurs arguments and negativity – changing nothing. Particularly when the outrage has ZERO basis in reality – or is standing against a lack of reason and sanity (read my previous thoughts on anti-vaxxers).

Outrage to action is a whole other matter from outrage culture. Outrage culture encourages upset and anger over this, that, or the other thing – but offers no actions or solutions for the problem.

Get mad, speak out – but that’s it. And while you are focused on this thing way outside of your ability to exert any control at all – you are disempowered.

The distraction takes your focus off yourself and all that you are doing. Which opens the way for your life to give you more reasons to find and feel outraged.

It really is a vicious circle.

Photo by Colin Lloyd on UnsplashDistraction disempowers

When you are distracted you miss things.

That’s just a natural fact. It’s the whole point of a distraction. You are focused on something apart from another thing – often another more important thing.

In the medieval reenactment society that I’ve been fencing with for nearly 30 years, we do melee combat. Rather than one on one bouting, this involves groups from two to a hundred or more against one another. We sometimes stage large battles where a hundred plus on one side faces a hundred plus on the other.

A common tactic is to employ a distraction. One person or a small unit of people will be sent out to draw attention. We sometimes refer to this as employing an “Ooga Booga” (as in they might literally run in front of an opposing unit and hop up and down crying out “Ooga Booga!  Ooga Booga! Look at me, come fight me!” to distract.)

The whole idea is to have the opposition give their attention to that distraction – while the attack comes from elsewhere.

In a non-combat setting – that’s how lots of politicians work. They talk about all sorts of completely pointless things – and create situations to generate outrage – distracting you from them robbing you blind. Don’t believe me? Look at virtually everything Trump employed. He’s all about distraction by creating outrage. It’s super ugly.

The more distracted you are the more disempowered you are. You cease to attend to things that you can control and will positively impact your life to focus on distracting things outside your direct control.

Then you wonder, later, how you are in a place you would far prefer to not be in.

Changing this is up to you and me

Outrage culture is tearing our society apart because it disempowers us. We need to take back our power while being aware of the problems. That means we need to focus on ourselves and that which we CAN control to foment change.

We need to be aware but not hyper-focused on these outside matters. Meanwhile, when we feel the outrage, we need to work with it to find and/or create a way to change things for the better. Or step back and otherwise focus on that which we can control.

There will ALWAYS be things to cause you to feel outraged. But likewise, you always have the choice for what to do – or not. Be mindful, consciously aware – and use that to your betterment.

And remember – when you are better, you are empowered to help others be better, too.

Recognizing how outrage culture disempowers isn’t hard

It begins with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Knowing that many of the elements of outrage culture are intent on distracting you and me from doing anything to find and/or create better – we can see the available options. When we recognize that we can choose to focus on the distraction and outrage – or instead, look for solutions within our control – that ultimately empowers us.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and spreads to more people. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity. A feedback loop we can all take part in.

Then, we build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of our lives for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

You, me, and everybody are worthy and deserving of all the good we desire. 

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundred and ninetieth entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Outrage Culture Serves Nobody appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Satisfaction or Success?

What if it’s not success we truly seek in life – but satisfaction?

I have been on multiple quests throughout my life.

Along the way, I have sought a place to truly call home. Not just the location. The notion of home – where I am rooted and meant to be. Though still a bit vague – I have found that.

I sought a career. There were many different job ideas that I pursued. Radio DJ, theatre, graphic arts, journalism, customer service, tech support, marketing, retail – I’ve worked in all these industries. But always I circled back to writing. That is the career I desire. Still a work in progress – but that’s my pursuit.

I looked for a relationship. To avoid the pitfalls I watched my parents go through after their divorce – I had some pretty fucked up notions on this topic. I was a serial monogamist who sucked at relationships for a long time. Somehow, I am still friends with many of my exes despite how bad I was. Then, I found someone I truly connected with in ways I hardly believed possible – and I have an amazing wife.

With each of these quests in my life, I sought success. Or so I’ve believed. But now, I have a new idea. What if success isn’t the goal? What if the goal is simpler? Could it be satisfaction?

Examining my Pathwalking life philosophy closely, I believe the answer has not been so much about success as it has been satisfaction.

How does that impact conscious reality creation, mindfulness, and choosing a path? Let’s find out together.

Is success really what we seek?

It’s almost impossible not to be online, and at some point or other get bombarded and overwhelmed by notions of success – both real and totally bullshit.

We’re constantly seeing stories about Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and other business “successes”. Likewise, many buy into the idea of success connected to Donald Trump, the Koch Brothers, the Walton family, and others who abuse the system and cause tremendous harm to benefit only themselves.

How do success and satisfaction differ? I believe that’s a matter of measurement. Much of which is based on artifice.

Measuring ourselves against such giants is pointless. They represent a lot of situations, circumstances, luck, and other matters that cannot be duplicated. And, frankly, probably shouldn’t be. Yet still, many buy into this false idea that success is the only thing in life worth having.

But what if that’s not what most of us truly desire? What if it’s really all about satisfaction?

I know, for example, that I like the feeling of control in the choices I have made. It’s satisfying to know I live in the area where I belong, I’m pursuing the career path I most believe in, and I’ve found an incredible relationship partner in my wife. All of these are satisfying.

When all is said and done that feels extremely good.

What’s more, that sense of satisfaction feels like the goal to the quests I’ve undertaken in my life.

Hence why I believe that the ideas of success with anything in life are often mislabeled. On further analysis, I believe that more than success – we crave that sense of satisfaction in what we do in life.

Satisfaction is more than a feeling

Just like success is rather vague and intangible when you attempt to define it – satisfaction is as well.

The feeling of satisfaction is a positive sense. To me, it’s calm, peaceful, contented. Satisfaction is tied to looking around at the notion and thinking “Yes! This is it!”

And that’s why satisfaction is more than a feeling. There is thought to it because it is connected to mindfulness. Intention and action are also tied into it.

When I stand in my home office, place my hands on my hips, and look around me – I feel it. This is my space. It is here, in this place, where I do my work. Yes, I love how it feels to be in this space. This is where I belong. My thoughts find their way from my mind to my fingers, through the keyboard, and onto the screen. Then I get to share them with you.

Five hundred weeks ago, I had an idea. I desired to start writing at least one blog post a week. On Wednesday, January 4, 2012, I wrote my first pathwalk and began to make that a reality. This brought about a sense of satisfaction that I repeated every single week for over nine-a-half years.

This opened the door to more regular writing. Before long, I was blogging twice a week. Then three times a week. And then six days a week. Now, I get that sense of satisfaction with every completed essay.

It goes beyond feeling – it’s almost an instinct. That sense of confidence and completion.

As I consider where I’ve been working to get to. as I walk the paths of my life, I am seeing this new idea with tremendous clarity.

Success is great – but it’s not real.

Photo by Razvan Chisu on UnsplashSuccess is a construct

Satisfaction is real. It’s an attainable, tangible sensation that can have a major impact on us. It opens doors, feels good, and inspires and empowers.

Success, however, is an artifice. It’s a measure that we attempt to reach without understanding it’s a construct. Because it’s an artificial construct, it’s vague and always in motion.

How do you measure success? When it comes to finances this is utterly artificial. Does having enough money to pay all your bills on time and build up some savings make you a success? Must you have tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of dollars to your name? Or do you need to be a millionaire? A billionaire? The first trillionaire? Which of these is the correct measure?

All of them. Because while some people need to have that ludicrous amount of money to their name – others just need enough to be comfortable. Success to some is living debt-free and without fear. To some, success is having two cars, a yacht, and three homes. All are right – and utterly artificial.

Why do we need to have success? I am finding myself surprised that it’s taken me this long to reach this realization.

We seek success because we think with it comes ultimate satisfaction.

Falsely, we equate success with that moment of, “Yes! I made it! I did it! This is so satisfying!” Then, we look to those big names and their measure of success – and are made to feel lesser when we’re not even close to their levels.

Nobody needs that false level of success for satisfaction

Let’s do some super basic math here.

Let’s say that, realistically, to live debt-free and build some savings you need, individually, to earn $60,000 a year. That’s what it would take to cover all the basics and give you more than enough. Abundance. Satisfaction.

But, to be fair, let’s have enough to travel at any time, buy awesome gifts for friends and family, and make regular donations to multiple worthy causes around the globe. Let’s say you earn $100,000 a year. You want for nothing and can be uber-generous. Both strangers and loved ones benefit from your abundance. Just the idea of this feels so, so satisfactory to me.

That much money would be super satisfying to me. And I know full-well it’s a lot more than I really, truly need to feel satisfied with my life quests and experiences. But the $100,000 is idealistic and makes for easy math.

So, let’s say you’re a millionaire. Do you believe that 10 times that amount is 10 times more satisfying? Does it make you 10 times more successful? I can’t fathom how it could.

Now, let’s say you’re a billionaire. That’s 10,000 times the amount of money we set out as ultimately satisfying. Do you believe that 10,000 times that amount is 10,000 times more satisfying? Does it make you 10,000 times more successful? Frankly, I suspect it’s the opposite – because you’re now constantly on guard for loss, theft, jealousy, and maintaining appearances.

Millionaire. Billionaire. Do these measures of success increase satisfaction, sometimes exponentially? I highly doubt it.

Finding satisfaction is easier than we think

This is why success is not, I believe, what we truly seek. In reality, I believe that we’re all after satisfaction, not success. And it takes a lot less than we are led to believe that it requires.

When you stop pursuing these big, overwhelming notions of success – and instead focus on satisfaction – the pressure is off.

I believe that when more people strive to be satisfied rather than successful, we improve ourselves. We empower ourselves.

Lastly – success is often tied to competition. There’s an utterly false belief in lack, scarcity, and insufficiency when it comes to attaining success. Thus, people do unspeakable things to one another, lack kindness, compassion, and basic human decency in a bullshit competition to reach the pinnacle of success.

But is that truly satisfactory when all is said and done?

Satisfaction is satisfying. It feels good, and complete, and worthwhile. And I don’t know about you – but I like it even more when I can share it. My path may belong to me and me alone – but that doesn’t mean I can’t share it and be a guide for you on your life path.

That feeling of satisfaction isn’t artificial nor false. And it’s not simply a feeling – it’s thought, intention, action, and conscious awareness. It is an entire sense. Finding it is sublimely empowering.

The ultimate key to the paths we choose in life – the philosophies by which we live – is to be empowered and find and/or create satisfaction. That sense has meaning, context, and connectivity both within and without.

What if it’s not success we truly seek in life – but satisfaction?

What makes you feel satisfied?

This is the five-hundredth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Satisfaction or Success? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Today Is a New Day

New day, new options, new choices – what will I do?

Sunrise over the Grand Canyon. Photo by the author.

When I woke up this morning, I had a choice.

Focus on the problems, concerns, issues, and various negatives in my life.

– Or –

Seek, find, and/or create options, solutions, potential, possibilities, and positives.

Choosing positivity over negativity cannot be in denial nor disregard for negativity. That’s how toxic positivity comes into being. This is about approach, intention, and action.

But before I get into this, there is an elephant in the room not to be ignored:

Shit happens.

Lots of things are happening in the world that are upsetting, disconcerting, scary, and distracting as hell. One of the largest negatives of the internet is how easily you can go down a given rabbit hole – sometimes to the exclusion of logic and reality.

If I give this too much attention, finding positivity gets extra challenging. And these are matters and concerns that are way, way outside of my control.

Then there are more personal issues. People, situations, things that directly impact my life but are also outside of my control. Focusing on strained friendships, financial matters, and the how of other personal things outside my control over the past few weeks can be discouraging.

This is why I am reminding myself – and sharing with you – that today is a new day. And because it’s a new day the past has passed. I alone can learn from it – or not. Those lessons can inform me as I move into this new day and decide if I will see it for potential and possibility (positivity) or lack and impossibility (negativity).

New day, new options, new choices – what will I do?

Approaching the new day

Every single morning, I get to choose – see today in anticipation of a good day or a bad day? My approach will impact how it goes.

Whether you believe in the Law of Attraction or not – it is a law of nature. Like attracts like. Frequently, this is super subtle. This is why if you approach the day with dread and dismay you will likely have a dreadful and dismaying day.

But – you might point out – you’ve had experiences where you started out that way – yet it changed direction. That’s because not only does shit happen – but sublime happens, too.

Yes, just like shit happening – sublime happening is equally unpredictable. You cannot count on it because it just happens.

But how I initially approach any given day affects what it will be like. So, if I get out of bed and begin with expectations of difficulties, challenges, and negatives – I’m setting up the dominoes to fall that way.

Conversely, if I approach my new day with potential, possibility, and in search of solutions – I’m positioning myself to find and/or create the positives.

This is not a perfect practice since both shit and sublime happen randomly. But at the same time, if my approach is positive, I better position myself to deal with and handle shit and other negatives that happen.

This is not toxic because I am recognizing that negative can, will, and does happen. But my approach on this new day will directly impact how that affects me.

New day, new options, new choices – what will I do?

Mindfulness and intention

Mindfulness is conscious awareness of my inner being – my mindset/headspace/psyche self. That conscious awareness – in the here and now – is informed first by sensory input. My six senses inform me of the world around me. This tells me, at this moment, where, what, why, how, when, and who I am.

Sensory input is only part of mindfulness. The rest falls on thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. What I am thinking, how and what I’m feeling, and the actions I take or don’t take create the sum total of my mindfulness.

Lots of people act for the sake of action. There is this perception that being still and inactive reflects badly on you. But taking action without intention isn’t mindful.

That’s not to say there aren’t times where mindless games, TV, and other distractions aren’t good for you. We all need to take breaks. But these distractions can lead to unintended places. That, in turn, can disempower you.

When I act with intention, there is mindfulness in what I do. For example, every morning I read. My intention is to both be entertained and enlightened. This is why I read at least a chapter of fiction (entertainment) and nonfiction (enlightenment).

However, fiction also – for me – informs. Reading the works of other fiction authors helps make my fiction writing better. The overall point, however, is that intention drives how my day is.

This is directly tied to action. Intending to do something but not doing it is the equivalent of Yoda’s quote,

“Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.”

Out best intentions can have unplanned and unwanted consequences. But lack of intent also can be problematic. When you act, knowing the intention behind the action helps optimize any given day. And this is why it’s an important consideration.

New day actions

Approach and intention for a new day are meaningless without action.

Action drives me and my day. No action, nothing happens, nothing gets done. At least, nothing I desire to do. This new day can be awesome and amazing – or horrible and infuriating – depending on how I approach it and the intentions behind any actions I take.

This is true of everyone on the planet. When you take action, you set things in motion. It doesn’t need to be a big action, nor something massive and game-changing. The littlest things can be empowering.

Brushing my teeth, making my bed, taking a shower, making time to meditate, sitting at the computer for writing and editing are positive actions in my life. My approach is to create articles like this to share my journey to help you see you’re not alone – as well as to put the work into the sci-fi and fantasy I write.

All these actions have the intent of me taking control over the things in my life that I can.

Those little bits of seemingly insignificant control empower the bigger things. When I don’t take this approach and am not intentional in my action – I’m setting up this new day to suck.

Is it really that simple? Yes. Approach, intention, and action on every new day empowers or disempowers us. There will be both good days and bad – but we have choices to help control how that will impact us and overall effects.

New day, new options, new choices – what will I do?

Recognizing the impact because today is a new day isn’t hard

It begins with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Knowing that today is a new day and that you have numerous options and choices for how you approach it, you get to decide how it will be. Will you focus on the problems, concerns, issues, and various negatives in your life – or – seek, find, and/or create options, solutions, potential, possibilities, and positives? When you recognize that this is within your control – and that you can choose to find and/or create positivity with this new day – that ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and spreads to more people. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity. A feedback loop we can all take part in.

Then, we build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of our lives for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

You, me, and everybody are worthy and deserving of all the good we desire. 

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundred and eighty-ninth entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Today Is a New Day appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Don’t Fall Off a Cliff

When choosing your path, sometimes you reach a cliff it’s best not to fall off of.

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

When you decide to take control over your destiny and walk a path of your choosing, there are many obstacles you’ll encounter along the way.

Some will be external. People, places, things, and such – both tangible and intangible. They might be major obstacles and roadblocks, or minor. While outside of your control, how you interact with and react to them is on you.

Others will be internal. Disbelief, lack of faith, outdated beliefs, and habits buried deep in your subconscious in need of replacement. These are entirely in your control. Applying mindfulness for conscious awareness of their impact opens you to control them.

This can be bends in the pathway, literal and figurative obstacles, unplanned and unexpected detours, and numerous other challenges. Yet when you have a path you believe in and desire to traverse, you will become familiar with the obstacles and obstructions as you work with the process.

While choosing to walk your own path might or might not go against the grain of “the norm”, there is another consideration I’ve not discussed before – but can’t be ignored, either.

Sometimes the obstacle is not a wall, traffic cone, or unexpected twist in the path – sometimes it’s a cliff.

What does a cliff represent?

A cliff represents a few potential things beyond mere obstacles or obstructions. The cliff may be an insurmountable obstacle, a major detour, the need for an external connection, time to take a leap of faith. or the end of the path you’ve chosen before you reach your goal.

These can be mixed together. What’s more, I’m certain there are other ways to express and conceive of this idea.

But it’s important that you don’t fall off the cliff. Doing so means you have ceased pathwalking, and in all probability are experiencing something deeply unpleasant, uncontrolled, and undesired.

Falling off a cliff implies a lack of control. Which is what it represents. Recognizing a cliff and facing it tells you what you must do to overcome it – or turn away from it.

A cliff represents a new and inescapable need to step further out of your comfort zones.

Let’s take a closer look at this, shall we?

An insurmountable obstacle

I continue to maintain the belief that nothing is impossible. However, neither can you create out of the pure void.

What that means is that there needs to be a basis from which you build and/or create whatever you seek to via your path. Thus, if you desire to be a brain surgeon, you’re going to medical school – not just magically expecting to somehow *POOF* become a brain surgeon. Or – you would like to be an astronaut but aren’t involved in a science or military career that could get you into space. You get the gist, right?

With that in mind, what’s an insurmountable obstacle of a cliff look like? It might be an educational requirement you cannot satisfy. A test you either cannot take or are unable to pass. It might be an unexpected physical limitation preventing you from reaching the goal.

Whatever it is, the means to overcome it doesn’t exist. Maybe it looked possible at the outset – but now this cliff can’t be overcome.

Nobody wants to experience this. Especially in the pursuit of a dream. But it can happen. No star athlete wants their career ended by an unsurmountable injury – but it happens.

Maybe it’s an ending – but you can also use it for a whole new beginning and to choose a new path.

A major detour around the cliff

What this amounts to is a premature end to the path you were walking. Or rather, the cliff before you requires a rather major detour. You may need to backtrack quite a way to zig when you should have zagged or take a right at the fork where you took a left.

Chances are a major detour, to avoid falling off the cliff, is a wholly new strategy to get from point ‘A’ to point ‘B’. Your way is blocked, the cliff is insurmountable – but you’re not out of options.

This requires a lot more discomfort than just walking an unusual path, as well as freeing yourself of confirmation bias – specifically in the original surety of your purpose. And, like any detour you must take on a real road, this could add time you don’t desire to add to get to a given destination.

Unlike the insurmountable obstacle, a major detour still maintains the original intent of the path. But the how and sometimes where of the process changes drastically.

Photo by Casey Horner on UnsplashBuild a bridge

You’ve reached a cliff. Scaling down it and climbing the cliff on the other side isn’t doable for numerous reasons. You need to bridge the gap.

What this entails tends to be external help. Now you need a person, a resource, or some other tangible or intangible things to keep going.

This might require an uncomfortable conversation with someone. Very probably, the help you need is going to take you even further out of your comfort zone. Hence why this is another representation of the cliff. It’s sudden, unexpected, and uncomfortable when reached.

But with the help you can seek from outside of yourself – whatever form that takes – the bridge can be built, and the external connection made. It might be a book that must be read, a class you must take, or an experience necessary to reach the goal at the end of your path. That external connection made is the only way to get past the cliff.

Thus you “hire” your contractor for external help to build the bridge to move past the cliff.

Take a leap of faith off the cliff

As you look down from atop the cliff, you can see it. Far below, that’s the goal. It’s there, so close – yet out of reach.

Your only choice is to take a leap of faith.

This is all about facing uncertainty. It’s taking a chance and diving into the unknown.

Unlike falling off a cliff – which is, as implied, uncontrolled – a leap of faith is a choice.

Many of these are probably quite familiar. You quit a stable job. Ask someone to marry you. You sign the contract to buy the house. All of these are technically a leap of faith.

This is a controlled dive. And while it’s possible you will crash at the bottom – you will survive. Falling off the cliff without control might break all the bones in your body or kill you – literally or metaphorically. That depends on the cliff in question.

A leap of faith off a cliff is scary. No question. But if that’s the choice before you so that you can continue on your path – it’s doable. As the Zen saying goes,

“Leap and the net will appear.”

The path ends abruptly

Finally, the cliff you have come to may represent an abrupt and unplanned ending of the path.

For example, let’s say you have an amazing invention you desire to bring to the world. All your heart and soul go into it, you walk the path to achieve the goal of making it real and available. Then you learn it cannot be done, was already done and you missed it – or someone gets there ahead of you and blocks you out.

All of these are plausible happenings that can be the cliff you reach that can’t be overcome to complete your path. It’s a forced acknowledgment of failure.

Nobody wants to fail. And failure will cause some people to toss themselves off the cliff as they give up.

But everyone has more than a single path in this life. When one path ends another can be started. But recognizing and acknowledging this fact doesn’t make the pain of its reality go away.

The cliff is an ending – not the end

The only absolute end in this life is death. Plain and simple – so long as you are alive, you can find and/or create new paths.

Some paths we walk are easier than others. But when one ends in a cliff, it’s important to be mindful of where you are, how you got there – and then decide how to proceed. Mindfulness opens you to conscious awareness here and now. This, in turn, will tell you if this cliff is an insurmountable obstacle, a major detour, the need for an external connection, time to take a leap of faith, or the end of the path.

Whatever it is, you are empowered to handle it.

It’s entirely possible this could destroy you. But conversely, this could also make you stronger than you ever imagined possible.

Have you come to a cliff on your path? If so, what did you do?

This is the four-hundred and ninety-ninth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Don’t Fall Off a Cliff appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Every Thought and Feeling Attracts Like

Like attracts like – whether you believe in the Law of Attraction or not.

Photo by Chermiti Mohamed on Unsplash

The past couple of weeks have been personally rough for me.

The air conditioner in my car is not working – and we’re having an ongoing heatwave. A plan for additional financial stability fell through. I got to take a literal and metaphorical guilt trip that took up a lot of mental energy. A nerve pinch in my hand forced me to stop fencing mid-practice. My book sales are flat. A message thanking certain people for contributions that I also made excluded me.

All of these, in the grand scheme of things, aren’t terribly important. But compounded together over 2 weeks, they have taken a toll. As such, I’ve been contending with numerous negative emotions, unhappy thoughts, and a general sense of anger, ire, and annoyance.

That, in turn, feeds my depression and stirs my fears. Before me, a chasm has opened – and if I stare down into it I know it will swallow me whole.

All the present situations created new bridges to past experiences, happenings, and matters that were not the best. If I allow this to go on, I will be facing an intense period of self-pity, self-recrimination, and land in a depressive cycle.

If I allow this to go on. The choice belongs to me. Years of similar experiences have taught me this. Thus, I know what I must do to prevent the downward spiral.

Because I know full-well that every thought and feeling attracts like.

The Law of Attraction in action

A lot of people get caught up in the hype of the idea of the Law of Attraction. More specifically, the hooky-spooky, mumbo-jumbo make-or-break concept spouted by gurus, self-help maestros, and the like.

Similar to the Law of Gravity, the Law of Attraction works whether you believe in it or not. Disbelieve in gravity, you don’t fall off the face of the planet. The same applies to the Law of Attraction. But the form this takes is so simple that it’s easy to mislabel.

One negative thought or feeling can, unchecked, draw in another. Then another. And then another. Before too long, you’re in a downward spiral and either heading for a mental and/or emotional breakdown, fighting depression, anxiety, and the like.

Some people, chemically, are more prone to this than others. Hence, you get into therapy and take SSRI medications and the like to help balance the chemical matters.

Everyone, however, can use practical mindfulness to be consciously aware of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. That conscious awareness, in the here and now, empowers you to recognize where your mindset/headspace/psyche self is at – and whether that’s positive or negative.

Being mindful allows you to see if you are on a downward spiral or an upward one instead. When you are not mindful of your thoughts and feelings – and shit is happening in your life that is compounding negatives – you tend to find and/or create more negatives. That’s the Law of Attraction in action.

Everyone experiences how like attracts like

I would be surprised if you have never had the following happen to you:

Something unexpected happened. Or an expected thing didn’t happen. That made you feel bad, which made you think negatively. Something about yourself gets blamed or noticed for ongoing discrepancies – which then draws in more negative thoughts and feelings. Something else outside of your control goes poorly, and that reinforces the ongoing negative thoughts and feelings. Another past memory comes to the surface of fault of failure on your part – and eventually, you can barely get out of bed in the morning or speak without tremendous anger or frustration.

You may not think of the above as the Law of Attraction in action. But it is. That’s how it works.

And YOU have the power to change it.

While outside influencers can and will impact your thoughts and feelings – that impact and its aftermath are under your control. You can choose to use practical mindfulness to examine the negativity – and then find and/or create positivity to counter it.

This is where I find myself today.

Photo by Natalya Letunova on UnsplashHow I am countering a downward spiral

I’ve spent a lot of the last two weeks angry, annoyed, irked, frustrated, and full of self-pity and self-loathing. It’s been in fits and spurts – but overall, the like is attracting like, and it’s not getting better.

Why isn’t it getting better? Because I’m not practicing practical mindfulness. So, the negativity is taking root in my subconscious, dredging up old feelings and thoughts of inadequacy, and leaving me distressed and depressed.

The starting point in turning this around is Identifying and recognizing this for what it is. Since I’m the only one inside my head, I’m the only one who can see and fix this.

How do I fix this? I need to change what I am feeling so that like attracts like that I desire to experience.

These follows are the steps I am employing to do so.

Stop and take stock

What has happened? How did this all come to pass? Why? Where do I go with it? These questions – and others like them – will tell me precisely where I am, here and now. Here and now is the only time and place that matters.

Recognize and acknowledge

With our society so hell-bent to blame, recognition and acknowledgment need to be active. Passive tends to stay hidden. This is especially true of our own thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. Recognizing the issues and acknowledging them allows me to be accountable to and for them. That, in turn, empowers me to alter them.

Breathe and meditate

Pausing to breathe deeply as I examine what’s happening in my head allows me, at this moment, to gain control over my thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. When I take the time to meditate on this, I’ll be more able to address, replace, and restore the underlying issues.

Seek and/or find positivity

Jen Sincero talks about applying the phrase, “this is good because…” to any negative situation or experience. Thus, you find and/or create positivity to change the overall place you are at. Very little happens to us that cannot teach us lessons. Note that some are more obvious than others.

Practice practical mindfulness

Knowing that I am on the cusp of a downward spiral, I need to choose. Decide to allow the spiral to take me down – or choose to look up and pull myself out of this chasm. Practical mindfulness practices allow me to seek and find where I am truly at – and assume control to shift my mindset/headspace/psyche.

I know from past experiences that if I don’t decide to make new choices, like will attract like – and down I will go. Even though I’ve begun to spiral down, I have all the power to alter, reverse and change this for the better.

It’s a matter of shifting mindset/headspace/psyche from negativity to positivity via mindful, conscious awareness – here and now.

Every thought and feeling attracts like

I believe in the Law of Attraction. Thus, I know full well that if I don’t shift my mindset/headspace/psyche – actively – I’m going to wind up somewhere I’d prefer not to.

It is NEVER too late to change direction.

I’m going to actively work to take these steps,

Stop and take stockRecognize and acknowledgeBreathe and meditateSeek and/or find positivityPractice practical mindfulness

This empowers me to take control so that the like I attract is positive and helpful rather than negative and unhelpful.

Consciousness creates reality. Like attracts like.

I’ve done this before – I can do this now. And if you have similar negativity happening in YOUR life – you can do this, too.

Recognizing how like attracts like isn’t hard

It begins with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Knowing that every thought and feeling you have can be altered and controlled via practically applied mindfulness, you can recognize how like attracts like and redirect your mindset/headspace/psyche when it’s negative. When you recognize that this is within your control – and you can choose to find and/or create positivity in the face of negativity – that ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and spreads to more people. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity. A feedback loop we can all take part in.

Then, we build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of our lives for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

You, me, and everybody are worthy and deserving of all the good we desire. 

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundred and eighty-eighth entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

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The post Every Thought and Feeling Attracts Like appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

I Don’t Need You to Understand My Path

It’s my path, my life. Nobody else needs to understand – nor approve of – the choices and decisions I make.

Like most people, there are numerous choices and decisions I have made along the way that were imperfect. Less-than good. Wrong. Bad. And worse.

Part of the human experience is the choices and decisions you make. Some of them will lead to amazing discoveries, incredible experiences, and ultimately success. But then, some will lead to awful discoveries, lousy experiences, and ultimately failure. But as Yoda said,

“The greatest teacher, failure is.”

It’s most important that I, as the person walking the path, learn from it. Success or failure, all the lessons belong to me.

The funny thing is – this is true of everyone. What and how we learn varies as much as we do. No two people learn in precisely the same way. That’s why some are great at studying on their own online while others are great in a classroom setting with people around them – but not vice versa.

Over the years I have tried to fit into various boxes. Most of those attempts went poorly – because they were utterly untrue to who I am. When I began to choose, instead, to just be myself, I gained a lot of insight into who I am and who I can be.

Instead of trying to fit into boxes that are not me – I have been seeking and walking my paths. Which I explain a lot – but is still not something others can or will fully comprehend or understand.

What I need to remember is this – I don’t need anyone else to understand my path.

This is my life

I cannot deny that aspects of this concept appear, from the outside, to be selfish.

Further, I won’t deny that in a broad definition of selfishness – they are. I put myself first because when I don’t, I have nothing to give to anyone else.

Too many people get focused on that broad definition of selfishness. Thus, they frequently put others ahead of themselves. This is not a bad thing – except when it’s detrimental to yourself.

There are plenty of times I put others ahead of myself in specific instances and situations. But long ago, I learned that if I don’t care for myself, I have nothing to give to anyone else.

True selfishness involves knowingly causing lack, scarcity, harm, or hurt to others by your actions and intentions. This is exemplified in taking more than your fair share of something tangible or intangible, knowing you are leaving little or nothing for anyone else.

The paths I have chosen and continue to choose are not easy for everyone to understand. They see what I am doing and question why I do it. Some wonder if I am being foolish, irresponsible, and/or unrealistic.

I can’t deny they might be right. I acknowledge that the paths I have chosen may have lots of faults and potential for failure. Still, this is MY life. As such, it doesn’t matter, when all is said and done, if they understand or not.

Why it doesn’t matter if you don’t understand my path

There is only one person inside my head. Me. The only person who experiences my thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for me is me. I’m the only one who has lived the life I’ve lived and had the experiences and education I’ve had. I alone have seen, done, and overall lived the tangible and intangible encounters of my life.

Take the word “I” and change it to “You” or “Me”. It’s the same for everyone. Nobody can live for anyone else, nor experience the same perceptions of reality.

That’s why it doesn’t matter if you or anyone else understands my path. Because I am the only one on it. Ergo, the only one who needs to understand it is me.

Again, in the over-generalized definition of selfishness, this is selfish.

But realistically – it’s not. Because if you shunt your life experiences – past, present, or future – to the side all the time, are you living? If putting others first utterly fulfills you, lights you up, and evokes passion inside of you – then I would guess that you are. But for most people – that’s not living your own life.

Though our life-energy is immortal, our physical bodies are finite. What, how, where, when, and why we are, in this form, is defined ultimately by the choices and decisions we make about the paths we follow or don’t. And to be honest – not everyone will understand that in the least.

And that is okay.

While it is nice to be understood – it’s not always possible. And, given nobody but you is in your head – nobody will ever fully understand you, your paths, choices, decisions, etc.

If more people recognized and accepted this – then were accountable for it – I think we’d all get along with one another a whole lot better.

Photo by Saúl Bucio on UnsplashWe all judge sometimes

You may not understand my choices, decisions, or my path. And, frankly, I might not understand yours, either.

It is part of human nature to judge people. When you recognize that’s what you are doing, you can control it, lessen it, and be mindful of it. But all-too-often it gets weaponized. And then you have the current state of American politics and the ludicrously illogical extremisms.

Often, when people don’t understand my path in life, I feel that I am being judged. Which might be true. But even so – it doesn’t matter.

Why? Because nobody but me can live my life. You only know as much of me as I share with you – and how you judge me is way, way outside of my control.

Which means I can only do so much to help you understand me – and vice versa. There comes a point where we need to recognize and be cognizant of this. Then, accept how we don’t understand one another.

Ironically, many people take that to mean we can never understand one another. But the reality is that accepting the lack of understanding – and how we may differ – is the first step to bridging understanding between us.

Recognizing when and how we are judging opens the door to altering our approach and seeking more understanding. But there is one more important element to this idea.

I don’t need you to understand – or approve of me

A lot of my life has been spent in the quest for approval. I needed to have the approval of my family, bosses, friends, coworkers – even random others.

I need to remember that the approval of others is not so important in the grand scheme of things. And that is the real issue of being understood. If you understand me, you could approve of me.

The truth is – the approval of others is not necessary.

We are bombarded every day with messages that the approval of others is imperative. If you don’t buy that car, wear those clothes, or eat at that trendy spot you’ll be rejected and disapproved of. Every single advertisement makes a statement of this nature.

When you live for the approval of other people you tend to disconnect from yourself. And that is why, I believe, so many people suffer the number of mental health maladies they do. We’re so disconnected from ourselves in hoping for other people to understand us that we become depressed, anxious, or worse.

It’s my path – my life. Nobody else needs to understand nor approve of the choices and decisions I make. When we recognize, acknowledge, and become accountable for this – it’s incredibly empowering.

And all of us are worthy and deserving of that level of empowerment.

Do you let the lack of understanding on the part of others dictate your paths in life?

This is the four-hundred and ninety-eighth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post I Don’t Need You to Understand My Path appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.