M.J. Blehart's Blog, page 47

Yes I Can Empowers

The empowerment of Yes I Can is amazing.

Photo by Vince Fleming on Unsplash

I don’t know about you, but No I Can’t makes me feel low, down, and dejected. It’s not a pleasant sensation.

On the other hand, Yes I Can makes me feel good, up, and enthusiastic. It’s a very pleasant sensation.

Positivity and negativity, at their core, come down to YES and NO. While there are certainly times when saying NO and stepping away from a situation is the way to go – its power is frequently misplaced.

Look at American politics. Though the two parties are imperfect in any number of ways, the Republicans over the years have increasingly become the party of NO. Look at all the restrictions they attempt to impose towards women, LGBTQA+, blacks, and so on. Hell, the lead Republican in the Senate has stated all he plans to do is say NO to everything proposed by Democrats.

Every NO those politicians place is about disempowerment. They do and say a lot to make it look like its intent is to protect people. But step back and look from a wider angle and it’s pretty clear that’s just not so.

This is something beyond personal control, save voting these naysayers into positions of power. I believe one reason we do that is because of a form of societal Stockholm Syndrome. We believe the lies so thoroughly that we’re in love with a system continually failing us.

Recognizing the empowerment of Yes I Can is one key way to break this pattern. And that begins with you and me.

What is Stockholm Syndrome?

If you are unfamiliar with this phrase, you should get to know it. Stockholm Syndrome is a psychological condition where hostages, victims of abuse, and the like form a bond with their captors/abusers.

In our society, a lot of the wealthiest businesspeople – and politicians – have convinced us to accept a ton of abuse. Don’t believe me? How many businesses are run by uber-wealthy individuals – but their companies are unwilling to pay a real living wage or offer much in useful benefits? Why do we accept that healthcare in the United States bankrupts people and should remain hard to get? 

These are the signs of Stockholm Syndrome. We’ve bonded with these insanely rich people who convince us of their suffering. Yes, they will suffer – when they can’t afford the 3rd vacation home and have to buy the $100,000 luxury car rather than the $150,000 luxury car.

They do not suffer. Those people never worry about choosing between paying the rent, buying food, or seeing a doctor. They can easily afford all three – and take their entire family along, too.

Yet we accept their need for tax breaks and subsidies so they can afford those things. Meanwhile – they continue to abuse us.

But to fix this – we need to see if for what it is. Once we do that, we need to move to empower ourselves better. This is where the positivity of Yes I Can comes in.

But first, an important note:

Be mindful of toxic positivity – but not how you think

Before I get into more detail, it’s important to address toxic positivity.

Frequently, toxic positivity is cited not to empower – but, frankly, to further disempower. Often, people lump ALL positivity into toxic positivity. And I think that falls right into this whole societal Stockholm Syndrome.

By having us believe that so many messages of positivity are toxic – we continue to be disempowered. And when so many of the gurus and self-help authorities are just as privileged as the businesspeople and politicians – this should come as no surprise.

Toxic positivity is simple to identify. It’s positivity that neglects, denies, ignores, and otherwise pretends negativity either is non-existent or can be disregarded entirely.

But that’s not the truth. We need to know negativity – or else how can we employ positivity to counter it and empower ourselves?

Positivity is best summed up as Yes I Can. It’s empowerment to find and/or create things both tangible and intangible. That’s how we went from the first 12-second powered flight in 1903 to flying faster than the speed of sound in 1947. If birds can fly, so can we! And now we have regular commercial air service and rockets taking people and things into space.

The other issue with toxic positivity is mocking. When former President Obama’s message was Yes We Can,it was intended to empower the masses. But his opponents chose to mock it – and twist it in ways that created a frankly toxic culture. A message of unity got twisted into a mockery of disempowerment and used to widen gaps and further divides. Toxic positivity was artificially created – entirely to disempower.

It’s important to be aware of real toxic positivity. But you need to be mindful if it’s truly toxic – or made out to be so to disempower.

Photo by Andre Hunter on UnsplashYes I Can is not selfish

The message of Yes I Can sometimes can cause people to think it is selfish. When you focus too much on “I”, it can be made to be that way. Particularly when you find lots of examples you can point to of true selfishness.

I AM are two of the most powerful words in all the Universe. What follows these words are conscious reality creators. Whatever follows I AM can empower or disempower.

Unfortunately, we all too often are inundated with messages of I AM that are followed by narcissistic, unrealistic, self-aggrandizing statements that disempower. Worship me and my awesomeness is a disempowering statement because it blatantly implies superiority.

Nobody is superior to anyone else. I repeat – NOBODY IS SUPERIOR TO ANYONE ELSE. No matter our hierarchical structures in society – they are not about superiority as much as they are supposed to be directional. Hence why good leaders encourage, delegate, and empower and bad leaders discourage, hoard control, and disempower.

Yes I can is not a selfish statement in and of itself. Some people misuse and abuse it – which is true of everything. When your intent is one of empowerment without taking away from others or denying them due empowerment – that is positivity.

Empowerment can be contagious. When you are empowered, and open and sharing the positivity of that – you encourage others to take the same position. The more people empowered the less we need the so-called leadership that cares for only their own good. We can escape the Stockholm Syndrome and work together to build something better for everyone.

The encouragement of Yes I Can is a powerful tool of positivity. Used well – Yes I Can opens countless doors and provides potential and possibility for a better world for all. That’s something we’re ALL worthy and deserving of experiencing.

Seeing how Yes I Can empowers isn’t hard

It begins with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Knowing that everything you look to find can be approached from a place of YES or NO – you get to decide if you are seeking positivity (yes) or negativity (no). When you recognize how Yes I Can is an empowering statement that can evoke positivity and find and/or create tons of potential and possibility – that ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and spreads to more people. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity. A feedback loop we can all take part in.

Then, we build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of our lives for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

You, me, and everybody are worthy and deserving of all the good we desire. 

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundred and eighty-seventh entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Yes I Can Empowers appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

The Problem With Neutrality

Maintaining neutrality over positivity or negativity doesn’t serve you when it comes to choices and decisions.

Photo by Ray Fragapane on Unsplash

For years, I have espoused the values of conscious reality creation, mindfulness, and positivity in my Pathwalking philosophy.

When it comes to positivity, however, many quickly jump to toxic positivity. In the simplest of terms, toxic positivity is positivity used to disregard, ignore, and erase negativity at the expense of true awareness.

If the opposite of positivity is negativity – and it is – then between them is neutrality. Recognizing this, many people attempt to maintain neutrality in their doings. This is because they believe remaining neutral is safe.

To be fair, it is. But it is also utterly disempowering.

I believe there are three primary ways to live your life.

Let life live you. What happens, happens, and you take it as it comes. This is neutrality.Curl up in a ball and await death. See the downside of most things, expect the worst, be the victim of life. This is negativity.Take life like the bull by the horns. You make choices and decisions about how your life is to be. You act to drive your life. This is positivity.

This is important to take into consideration because it impacts your overall approach to life, the Universe, and everything.

The impact of these life options

When you choose option 1, you are largely deciding not to decide and choosing not to choose. You’re a car in neutral – and you’re only moving with a push or if you happen to be on a hill.

When you chose option 2, you are largely decided to see bad things and be a victim of them. Potential and possibilities elude you because you’re likely looking to justify your beliefs about nothing going right, always struggling, and other negativity. You’re more or less ceding control – by choice – to negative expectations.

When you choose option 3, you are largely deciding to see potential and possibilities and work to live the best life that you can. You are in the driver’s seat and taking what control you can to find and or create your life experience.

Options 2 and 3 are chosen. While I am not personally a fan of option 2 – it’s still a choice over option 1. But we are all empowered to choose – and empowerment is the key.

Remember – neutrality and seeking neither positive nor negative – is disempowering. Why bother when you are making no directional choice? You don’t need to go to one extreme or another – just choose an approach of YES (positivity) or NO (negativity).

Yes, I can empowers. No, I can’t disempowers.

And this is where neutrality is problematic.

Neutrality disempowers

I’m not pulling any punches here – neutrality disempowers you.

To be fair, there are times where making no choice at all and remaining neutral IS a good idea. When two people you care equally about are fighting, it might be best to stay neutral in that fight. Unless you can see clearly where one is right and the other is wrong.

All choices can have consequences. This is one of the reasons I know a lot of people prefer neutrality. No choice, no consequence. But neither are you empowered and taking the control that is yours.

When we stand as a society on the cusp of major upheaval – those who remain neutral in the face of a negative choice become disempowered. That complicity, however, can also put you in a bad place that extends that disempowerment to others.

When the Nazis rose to power in Germany, people ignored the warning signs and were complicit. And then it was too late – and they were disempowered by the fascist government that had control of their nation.

Don’t think that could happen in the USA in 2021? I give you the January 6th Trump-inspired insurrection. Look at all the people who remain neutral and are not speaking up against that insanity – or hitting the polls to vote out its supporters and their efforts to destroy our democracy. Those staying neutral and complicit disempower us all.

Deciding not to decide and choosing not to choose – to remain “neutral” – may also be a cop-out. Letting life live you, for some people, is perfectly fine. And if you are there – more power to you.

But if you desire to choose your life direction – remaining neutral disempowers you. The choice not to choose lacks intent, direction, and purpose. If you’re discontent – but remaining neutral – you’ll stay there until you choose otherwise.

Photo by aisvri on UnsplashYou will experience all three ways to live your life

It’s super easy to be judgmental regarding my three options for living life. But the truth is, along the way – and whatever paths you chose – you will experience them all.

Probably the biggest problem with toxic positivity is its utter disregard of negativity. It puts on blinders and rose-colored glasses as it pretends no negativity can happen. But that’s utterly unrealistic – because negativity not only can happen, it will happen.

People die. Friends leave. Relationships end. Cars break down. Unwanted, negative occurrences are a fact of life. Denying them serves nobody and only disempowers you.

Because of this – shit will happen that will drive you to option 2. You curl up in a ball and wail, moan, and lament the bad and expect that’s all that will ever happen again. It will happen, and you will lose all hope when it does.

However – you can choose to move out of that. Accepting change and moving past the terrible things that happen is part of life. Lessons can be learned to cope better next time and/or avoid there being a next time, if possible.

Likewise, you will be faced with times where you just need a break. So, you let life live you, go by rote and routine, and simply exist neutrally. Again, you can choose when to come out of this state and go with option 3 and take action to live life via choice, decision, and empowerment.

Neutrality is choosing not to choose

Maintaining neutrality over positivity or negativity doesn’t serve you when it comes to choices and decisions for your life.

You have one shot, in that body you occupy, to experience life. You can let life live you, be a victim of it, or chose to live it as fully as possible. While you will experience all these options along the way – the overall choices and decisions belong to you. If you desire to get the most out of this experience – remaining neutral disempowers your ability to do that.

There are going to be times where you feel terrible or feel nothing. That’s part of the human condition. But how long you occupy that place is based on what you choose and decide. When you maintain neutrality towards your own life – you disempower yourself.

I see life as full to overflowing with potential and possibilities. I desire, as such, to make choices and decisions to have the best experiences with it I possibly can. There are numerous paths I can take – and that is something I desire to do. Neutrality doesn’t empower me or anyone to do that. That is the problem with maintaining neutrality.

What choices and decisions are you making between neutrality, positivity, and negativity?

This is the four-hundred and ninety-seventh exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post The Problem With Neutrality appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

When You Go Looking for Negativity You Will Find It

Actively looking for negativity does nobody any good at all.

Photo by Chen YiChun on Unsplash

We all know people who are constantly complaining.

With few exceptions, there is something they can and will say on the negative in virtually any given situation.

And they always will. Why? Because when you are actively looking for negativity, you will find it. You will always find it.

This is beyond the concept of conscious reality creation. That’s because anyone seeking negatives in a given situation tends to have utter intent, focus, and direction in their quest to find them.

That’s not to say that the negatives they find aren’t legit. But negativity, when specifically sought out, will be found.

Despite beliefs to the contrary – this IS a choice. You are empowered to decide if you will seek negativity or positivity.

The way to figure that out is via mindfulness.

The practical application of mindfulness

Despite a great deal of overuse and misinterpretation, EVERYONE employs mindfulness from time to time.

I guarantee that you have done it. You saw that thing you desired (tangible or intangible) and gave it all your focus and attention. That thing would be yours, a part of your life, and you knew without a single doubt it was a done deal – before it truly was.

Then, you got the cookie, landed the job, started the relationship, signed on the dotted line, and experienced that winning feeling. All your intention and attention were wholly focused on the thing you desired.

Mindfulness is conscious awareness of what you are thinking and feeling. It’s knowledge, in the moment, of what your inner being – your mindset/headspace/psyche self – is attending to. It’s not vague and neglected – it’s certain and deliberate.

Mindfulness to be consciously aware is made up of two components. First is sensory input – what you take in via your six senses. The second is your present thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

This is why “thinking positive thoughts” alone is insufficient for conscious reality creation. Thought is just one of multiple present and consciously aware elements. Combined with sensory input and your feelings, intentions, and actions – that is how you find and/or create necessary elements to accomplish everything.

It truly is that simple and practical. It’s not hooky-spooky mumbo-jumbo. It’s conscious awareness – rather than subconscious routine.

When you are more actively mindful – and consciously aware – you can see if you look to the world with positivity or negativity.

Perhaps you can have a neutral approach – but that’s not mindful. Neutrality, in applied mindfulness, is not mindful. This is because neutrality has no power to drive anything. It’s unintentional – which is contrary to applying conscious awareness to life.

Looking at and for negativity finds it every time

If I go online, right now, and seek out news and information about all the awful, terrible things happening in the world – I’ll find them quickly. But that’s not because they are more prominent than good things – but it does often feel that way.

Conversely, if I go online intent on seeking out news and information about the great, amazing, and awesome things happening in the world – I’ll find them quickly. There is just as much news about incredible scientific discoveries and stories of success as there are terrible politics and greed.

When you don’t practice mindfulness – and you take in the overabundance of bad news available – your subconscious is going to probably make you feel bad. And then, to prove that you are right, you will continue to seek it out.

The notion of a “self-fulfilling prophecy” is the Law of Attraction in action. When you think it’s all garbage, and there is naught but bad – that’s how you approach things. And thus, you go looking for and at further negativity to prove yourself right. Congratulations – you WILL find it.

Rose-colored glasses and toxic positivity are not the answer

It’s important to note that we cannot eliminate, ignore, deny, or pretend negativity is out there. We need the bad to experience the good.

What’s more, the result of something bad can ultimately generate huge amounts of good. Losing your job sucks – until you find a far better job that makes your old job less desirable. Getting dumped opens you to find a more compatible relationship. Recovering from an injury can make you stronger than you were before the injury.

Toxic positivity is the idea that all negativity can be eradicated. But it can’t because it’s necessary. The Universe may be abundant, but it is made of yin and yang, opposites, and paradox.

Putting on rose-colored glasses to not see bad doesn’t remove it or make it go away. In fact, it disempowers you. Knowledge is technically neutral – but knowledge empowers and opens doors to ideas, options, and choices.

How can you consciously choose something without knowledge of it? Blind faith is blind because it lacks knowledge. Faith is a form of knowledge – largely applied to yourself.

Below your conscious awareness and mindset/headspace/psyche self is your subconscious. It’s in your subconscious where your beliefs, values, and habits lie. These, when you are aware of them, instruct your faith in yourself.

When I am more aware of my present, conscious awareness, I’m empowered to work on my subconscious beliefs, habits, and values. I can expand them if they are working for me – or replace and change them if they are not.

When you do so from a place of negativity, however, you lack faith and disbelieve in the possibility and power of change. Recognizing if your approach is from a place of negativity or positivity requires seeing both sides.

Photo by Vladislav Babienko on UnsplashThe choice is yours

Your conscious choice is based on your expectation of positivity or negativity.

If you go looking for negativity – you’ll find it. But the other side of the coin is that if you are looking for positivity – you’ll find it. With mindfulness, practicing conscious awareness, you are choosing what direction to take.

When you are explicitly looking for negativity in anything tangible or intangible – you will find it. Actively looking for negativity does nobody any good at all – least of all you.

Recognizing and acknowledging this fact creates accountability for it. Thus, you can choose to continue to look for negativity – or seek out positivity instead.

And remember – neutrality and seeking neither positive nor negative – is disempowering. Why bother when you are making no directional choice? No, you don’t need to go to one extreme or another – just choose an approach of YES (positivity) or NO (negativity).

Yes, I can empowers. No, I can’t disempowers.

I can’t speak for you – but I know which I prefer.

Choosing to seek positivity rather than negativity isn’t hard

It begins with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Knowing that everything you look to find can be approached from a place of YES or NO – you get to decide if you are seeking positivity (yes) or negativity (no). When you decide that looking for negativity will always find it – and that doesn’t do you any good – you can choose to be mindful and adjust your search and approach. And that ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and spreads to more people. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity. A feedback loop we can all take part in.

Then, we build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of our lives for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

You, me, and everybody are worthy and deserving of all the good we desire. 

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundred and eighty-sixth entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post When You Go Looking for Negativity You Will Find It appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Be Who You Love

Be who you love – and your life will reflect that.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Self-love is often misunderstood and viewed as selfish, arrogant, egotistical, and many other negative connotations.

But the truth of self-love is that the person you spend the most time with is you. In fact, you cannot leave yourself, abandon yourself, or set yourself aside.

Of course, astral projection, distractions, drugs, alcohol, and other things can separate you from yourself temporarily. But no matter where you go – there you are. There is no getting away from yourself.

Hence why self-love is so damned important. If you cannot figure out how to love the person you spend ALL your time with – how can you expand that outwards to share with other people?

This presents a lot of variable thoughts, feelings, and other complex notions. Being social creatures to one degree or another, there are fears of alienating people and being subsequently rejected. In the interest of making impressions, we sometimes deny self-love because we think it makes us better to be “selfless” rather than self-loving.

But this is not healthy when all is said and done.

A great many mental-health issues are either tied into or exacerbated by a lack of love for the self. Depression and anxiety can both readily connect to matters of self-esteem, self-worth, and similar matters tied to love for the self. Or lack thereof.

When you are actively being who you love, it is easier to bridge connections both within and without.

Internal and external influences

Everyone has the same 3 states of mind.

Unconsciousness is that which you do purely automatically. Overall breathing, swallowing, digesting, and similar things your mind and central nervous system do unaided.Subconsciousness is where your habits, beliefs, values, and overall sense of self exist. It is subconscious because you CAN access it — but largely don’t. Subconscious is passive, doing things by rote and routine.Consciousness is here and now. It’s your inner being, specifically your mindset/headspace/psyche sense of self. Consciousness is active, choosing and deciding things in the moment.

For the most part, the unconscious mind is on autopilot and not controlled by you. But the conscious and the subconscious are what make you, you.

The subconscious and conscious are constructed based on what you learn, discover, experience, create, find, and generally encounter over your lifetime. This can be via direct and indirect people, places, things, philosophies, and whatnot.

Because beliefs, habits, and values are in your subconscious – they are not at the forefront. They exist and inform you about how you perceive reality. Hence, they are your internal influencers.

The conscious mind is how you perceive reality at this moment. This is via a combination of your six senses and thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. Active practice to recognize and be consciously aware of your mindset/headspace/psyche inner-being self – via these mechanisms – is mindfulness.

The conscious mind is the bridge between internal and external influences. It can filter what it gets from outside before it plants a seed in your subconscious.

If, however, you aren’t engaging your conscious mind and practicing mindfulness – outside influences can plant seeds in your subconscious that will impact your beliefs, values, and habits.

Empowerment comes when you be who you love

When you be who you love, you empower yourself to be mindful and control the impact of outside influences. You can choose to be informed but not inundated, step away from toxic people, and make other choices about where, what, why, how, and when you are.

If you are in a bad relationship – when you be who you love you can more readily recognize how it’s bad. Do they make you feel small? Is the other person making you unhappy rather than happy?

Self-love is the mechanism of recognition when it comes to the outside influences and being empowered for handling them.

Also – you gain control to alter/change/replace/create new inside influences – i.e. habits, beliefs, and values. When you be who you love you more readily practice mindfulness.

In being mindful, you allow your inner being – your mindset/headspace/psyche self – to look deeper into your subconscious being. Thus, you open yourself to being capable of recognizing what your beliefs, habits, and values are. If they don’t serve you – now you are empowered to change them.

Love is an open concept. It is a reflection of the abundance of the Universe on every level. It’s not just the romantic rom-com notion of love – it’s a much broader, all-encompassing concept. Love is the sun and rain helping plants to grow; connectivity between people, places, and things; and whether you believe in God or some other higher power or not – love is the infinite Universe and its untold wonders.

When you be who you love, you are open to potential and possibility. But not being who you love and avoiding self-love closes you off and creates artificial lack, scarcity, insufficiency – and worse.

Photo by De’Andre Bush on UnsplashWhy you should be who you love

I know that a lot of people have felt they’ve been burned by certain interpretations of this concept. The often-used “you can’t love someone else before you love yourself” is a trigger. Being capable of giving love outside of yourself is not tied to loving yourself in precisely this way.

As I stated at the start of this – you are with yourself ALL THE TIME. The one person on the whole planet you are ALWAYs with is YOU.

What if, like in Phillip Pullman’s His Dark Materials series, we had an external manifestation of an aspect of our inner selves? A “dæmon” that was always at our side – a constant, ever-present companion? How do you think it would go if you could never be separated – and didn’t love one another?

We don’t have these outside manifestations of our inner selves – but the concept of being incapable of loving such is the same. Sure, you can do things to distract yourself from your inner self – smoking, drinking, drugs, etcetera – but in the end, you’re always there.

Some people find this frightening. They fear going into themselves will reveal things they dislike, despise, and want no part of.

Truth is – they aren’t wrong. If you have become disconnected from your inner being, you might not like what you find.

However – once inside, it CAN be changed.

The only thing you have true and total control over is yourself. Inside or out, you are empowered to control thoughts, feelings, actions, intentions, beliefs, values, habits, and all else. Conscious or subconscious – you can be nearly anything you can conceive of.

When you be who you love, you ultimately empower that control. Being who you love is the equivalent of taking the wheel, starting, and driving the car.

You are not alone

Reaching within can feel super lonely to many people. Let’s face it – nobody but you is inside of you, ever. And that can feel really lonely.

When you dislike or even hate yourself – that amplifies that feeling. Even if it doesn’t go that far, and you mostly question your worth and value – that engenders feeling lonely.

When all is said and done, you deserve to be loved. Whether by yourself or others around you – love is your right. It’s abundant, and you are worthy and deserving of it. When you be who you love you are open to give and receive abundance.

In a world bombarded by artificial lack, scarcity, insufficiency – where compassion and kindness are often falsely seen as weakness – when you be who you love, you provide a counter to these deceptions. You become a beacon in the dark and can help not only yourself – but those around you.

Like the instructions during a flight regarding oxygen masks – put your own on before you assist others. When you be who you love, that’s the equivalent of putting on your oxygen mask first, so that you can breathe freely while helping anyone else.

Self-love is not selfish because love is not selfish. Love is abundant, belongs to all – and you are worthy and deserving of love – both receiving and giving.

Can you see why you should be who you love?

This is the four-hundred and ninety-sixth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Be Who You Love appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Brain Weasels Suck

The brain weasels lie about everything. I am going to put them in their place.

Photo by Elisa Ventur on Unsplash

This was an excellent weekend for me.

I got to see a close friend receive a well-deserved accolade. As part of that, I got to spend time with other friends – an in-person gathering with people I only get to see a couple of times a year.

People I have not seen in at least 15 months.

The positivity of that experience is immeasurable. I am an ambivert – which, if you are unfamiliar with the term, is an introvert with extrovert tendencies. Thus, I love being with people – specific people in specific situations.

Today, I am feeling a bit down. But I know why. I got to see people I thoroughly enjoy spending time with for the first time in what feels like forever – but in the process neglected my routine for a couple of days.

Getting myself to this place of having this set routine has taken a lot of time and effort. When I first began to work from home independently, writing full-time, I had to build a routine. It became important to set daily tasks so that I stayed on track.

I don’t have a traditional job – but I DO have a job. Yet I am still fighting old demons and outdated beliefs about who I am, what I do, and the impact on others.

Hence, taking a “vacation” for a couple of days feels dishonest. That, of course, is part and parcel of the ongoing struggles I have always had with brain weasels (or squirrels in the brain – same rodent problem). These come from a combination of internal and external sources.

Everyone deals with this

I am going to share what I do to put the brain weasels in their place.

First, an important fact. We all see certain people as being thoroughly together. They appear to have their ducks in a row, confidence, poise, and outward strength. Yet I know that everyone deals with this.

Among the friends I spent the weekend with, a couple told me they see me as one of those people. When I spoke of my struggles with brain weasels, they were surprised.

But I have been dealing with this all my life. Some have been from disbelief in my own worth. But some were borne of absorbing beliefs of others.

While she meant well – my mom instilled in me this idea that to make money, I needed to be a doctor, lawyer, or businessman like my grandfather had been. That was the path to financial success. And what’s more, financial success was the ultimate measure of success.

I entertained these career paths as a kid. It was never a lack of ability to take on any of those career options. But none of them are me. It was the arts that held my attention – and continue to do so.

Writing was my first love. Thus, following my passion and pursuing that is what I have done. While I am getting some sales and building an audience – it’s slow going. The results are not immediate – so the brain weasels begin chittering.

Addressing and refuting the brain weasels

In my experience, the brain weasels tend to be focused on the same notions and ideas. All of them trigger my insecurities, fears, and concerns. Some are based on internal beliefs and values – while others are products of outside information.

Most of the chittering of brain weasels is indistinct. For me at least, the overall message I get from them tends to look like this: You suck! Who the hell do you think you are? You’re not worthy or deserving. You’re an idiot. Nobody believes in you – and other, similar notions.

This is frustrating, to say the least. But when I face them directly – they tend not to stand up to the light of day.

The overall impression above is derived from more specific fears or worries about the validity of beliefs and values. When I look more closely, I see the real concerns:

I am not earning enough money and letting the people I care about down. Holding a non-traditional job, I am not working hard enough. Am I a good enough writer to earn my living this way?

Taking a look at these underlying issues, I can see why the brain weasels impress upon me notions like you suck, who the hell do you think you are, you’re not worthy or deserving – and such.

It’s up to me to address these matters and refute them to silence the chittering of the brain weasels.

Here is what I do to do precisely that.

Practicing mindfulness

This involves being consciously aware, at this moment, of my thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. That awareness informs me of my present, actual mindset/headspace/psyche self.

Being mindful and consciously aware of my inner being opens the door to see inside my subconscious. And that is where the concerns live.

Seeing into the subconscious beliefs and values shows me if they match who I consciously think and feel that I am – or not. That also shows me if they are my own – or the product of outside influences.

This allows me to recognize what I am dealing with. But after recognizing this, I still need to acknowledge it.

Acknowledgment

Recognition says, “I see this is mine.” Acknowledgment says, “I confirm this is mine.”

Too many people blame this, that, or the other thing. They blame people, places, circumstances, and anything they can – rather than take responsibility and be accountable.

When I’m in my own head, looking at subconscious values and beliefs – even if they originated from outside of myself – they are still mine now.

When I ignore them, pretend they’re not there, or blame them on someone/something else – they fester. And then they become brain weasels.

Hence why acknowledgment is important.

Photo by Stephanie LeBlanc on UnsplashBrain weasel extermination

By recognizing and acknowledging what’s happening with me – via mindfulness – I am not empowered to choose what to do.

I can thus replace, repair, alter, and otherwise change the beliefs and values where the brain weasels live. This takes conscious effort, time, focus, and energy. But doing so lets me put the little monsters out of my head and allows me to take control.

The brain weasels lie about everything. Practicing mindfulness helps me to see that. The negativity that they spout can be replaced with positivity. And every little bit of positivity we get from within or without empowers us to do amazing things.

I am worthy and deserving of the friends I have. It’s a good thing to take a vacation day from time to time – even from my non-traditional job. The brain weasels telling me their lies are only in control if I let them be.

This is true for me – and you.

Silencing and removing brain weasels isn’t hard

It begins with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Knowing that everyone has brain weasels – and struggles with their self-worth, beliefs, and values at times – we can see how we are not alone and don’t have to needlessly suffer. When you practice mindfulness, recognize, and acknowledge the beliefs and habits where brain weasels spawn, you can take control to exterminate them. And that ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and spreads to more people. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity. A feedback loop we can all take part in.

Then, we build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of our lives for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

You, me, and everybody are worthy and deserving of all the good we desire. 

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundred and eighty-fifth entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Brain Weasels Suck appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

I’ve Written This Before

I’ve written this before – and will write it all again.

Photo by Ahmad Ossayli on Unsplash

In pursuit of living my philosophy, I have written the same things over and over again.

Despite the fact I’ve written this before, I know that I will write it again. And that’s simply because it bears repeating.

This applies to the following ideas/notions/concepts:

Consciousness creates realityMindfulness is conscious awareness of your sensory input as well as your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentionsChange is the only constant in the UniverseThe only thing I can control is myselfYou choose positivity or negativity every dayThere is no One True WayThere are always choicesSelf-encouragement is recognition of your empowermentThis is an abundant UniverseYou have more power than you realize

For almost ten years, I’ve been exploring, expanding, and living my life philosophy. Every week, for almost 500 weeks, I’ve been sharing this. This means I’ve written all this before.

Yet there are numerous reasons we need to be reminded. And I need to be reminded.

It is important to me to be informed. I desire to know what’s going on in the world around me. Thus, I keep aware of politics, world issues, economic issues, and all manner of outside information.

But for the most part – this is not happy, useful, or good information. But it’s important to be aware of because I don’t live in a vacuum. I am one of almost 8 billion people on this planet, after all.

BUT – nobody except me is living MY life. Ergo, every day I choose what that looks like. Do I strive to consciously create my reality and be in control over myself? Or do I allow outside influences to upset, depress, and take me off my track?

Choices are always available

Because there is always going to be both good and bad, I accept that some days will simply suck. There will be horrid, no-good, awful days. But there will also be incredible, amazing, fantastic days, too.

If I allow one bad day to color the next day – then chances are that day will be bad, too. But if I acknowledge and recognize that I’ve had a bad day – and it is over – I open the next day to be something new.

To be fair – shit might go down that makes for another bad day. But I didn’t automatically set it up to be that way.

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that so long as you are alive you have choices. Sure, they might be limited, and they might be between less-than-desirable options. But they are still there for every moment you are living.

False narratives, I’ve written before, tell us that this, that, or the thing are scarce, lacking, and generally unavailable. But because the Universe is abundant – this is a lie.

Yet sometimes that abundance isn’t obvious. It’s not right there, out in the open, and easy to see. But it is still there – you just might not yet be familiar with what it looks like.

When the things that you have no control over occur, what you do after is your choice to make. If you want to be fatalistic about it – that’s on you. But similarly, you can be optimistic if you so choose.

Of course – I’ve written all this before, too.

Why I’ve written this before – and will write it again

Repetition builds habit and memory. This is literal and metaphorical in its application.

I have been fencing for almost 30 years. Medieval rapier combat has been the only sport in which I’ve had true dedication and skill. At my best, I was attending 3 practices a week, one being nearly all drills and lessons rather than applied combat.

Every single practice, every week we repeated a given drill multiple times. But each repetition made the motion more natural and easier. It developed muscle memory.

Hence, when COVID-19 forced practice to end for over a year – as soon as I got to go at it again it was all there. The stances, the bladework, the movement – all of it. Not as refined, perhaps, but still there. And that is how muscle memory works.

This is why using affirmations and mantras work. Repeating the idea or concept over and over embeds it not just into your conscious mind – but your subconscious mind. Before you know it, a habit has developed.

My Pathwalking philosophy has evolved over the last 10 years. Yet the principles that drive it, though evolved, are the same. This is my life. Ergo, it is up to me to choose to live it, and in so doing live it as best I can and choose what that looks like.

I share this because I believe YOU have the same power. You may be a friend, or perhaps I don’t know you at all. Yet I still believe that YOU deserve the same empowerment that I deserve. Thus, I share it – because this is not for me alone. I believe the more of us who practice all these ideas I have shared, repeat and keep sharing – the better we ALL are and can be.

Photo by Brett Jordan on UnsplashI’ve written this before to break the false narratives

In the United States, there is, at present, a debate about minimum wage. The federal minimum wage is insufficient for ANYONE to earn a living. Period, end of story.

Yet there are many, many reasons we’re given why it cannot be raised. Then, people who currently make what the proposed new minimum would be, take it as a personal affront. I do this job and its value is greater than that job – why should we be paid the same?

That’s what those opposed to raising the minimum wage want you to believe. Because the truth is not only should their job be of greater value – so should your job. With the increase in the minimum wage, your job’s value should increase, too.

There are ZERO reasons the heads of a corporation like Walmart should make more money individually than most people could spend in multiple lifetimes – while so many of their employees require assistance beyond their pay is insufficient to make ends meet.

Being empowered recognizes that ALL lives have value. Not in a selfish, my-life-is-better-and-worth-more-than-yours way (like the utterly tone-deaf All Lives Matter counter to Black Lives Matter) – but in recognizing equal value in every living being.

I’ve written this before – and will write it all again – because it’s important to be empowered. Nobody should have to struggle just to have food on the table, clothes on their back, medical care, and a home to live in. The more of us see that we are empowered – the more we spread empowerment.

Pathwalking will take different forms for every individual. But it’s a philosophy for anyone and everyone to use to live the best, fullest, most complete life that they can.

Not the first time, nor the last time

I’ve written this before and will write all of this again. Pathwalking, and my overall life philosophy, recognizes the following:

Consciousness creates realityMindfulness is conscious awareness of your sensory input as well as your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentionsChange is the only constant in the UniverseThe only thing I can control is myselfYou choose positivity or negativity every dayThere is no One True WayThere are always choicesSelf-encouragement is recognition of your empowermentThis is an abundant UniverseYou have more power than you realize

These concepts provide the tools to let you decide, every day, how to choose the best course to live your life. Or not.

Because choice is the whole point. Choices and decisions made consciously can and will drive your life wherever you desire to.

What have you done recently that empowered you?

This is the four-hundred and ninety-fifth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post I’ve Written This Before appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Simple Tasks and a Sense of Accomplishment

Never underestimate the positivity simple tasks can create.

Photo by Tina Dawson on Unsplash

When it comes to goals and the things we are working to do for our lives, they tend to be large.

These are not necessarily just the uber-achievement, huge-money-making large. These are also the not-instantaneous, multiple steps required large. Like building a business, evolving a relationship, or writing and selling a novel.

When you’re pressing towards such a goal, it’s easy to get caught up in the work that goes into it. It’s also easy to feel like you’re just spinning your wheels. This can be particularly complicated, and even frustrating when the goal requires outside matters.

If you have started the food truck of your dreams, you can’t make customers magically appear to buy the food. If you have published a novel or completed a work of art, you can’t make anyone buy them. Marketing and advertising are important helpers – but don’t come with guarantees.

A sense of positivity helps to keep you focused, hopeful, and in sight of that long-term goal. Ultimately, the accomplishment of reaching that bigger goal is going to find and/or create tremendous positivity.

Yet throughout the process, you still need to feel a sense of accomplishment. That helps you build mental, emotional, and spiritual muscle to push through difficulties – much the same as weight-lifting builds physical muscle.

One way to do this is by doing and completing simple tasks to feel that sense of accomplishment.

Everyday tasks taken for granted

There are things that we do every single day that can create that sense and feeling of accomplishment and its accompanying positivity.

For example – I didn’t do the dishes after dinner last night. After taking a walk this morning, then making more coffee, I realized there weren’t that many dishes to be done. So, before setting to work on this, I soaped up the sponge and did the dishes.

The sink and stovetop clear, I looked at the less chaotic space, the dishes drying on the rack, and felt a sense of accomplishment. I did it, the dishes were done. It felt good and positive that they were now clean.

This, in turn, inspired my thought process here. This simple, mundane, seemingly unimportant but necessary task created a feeling and sense of accomplishment. That generated positivity.

There are so, so many little things of this nature which, when viewed mindfully, can generate this feeling.

Taking a walk this morning means I got exercise. Brushing my teeth makes my mouth feel clean and generates positivity towards my oral hygiene. Making the bed when you climb out of it in the morning generates order – and you feel positivity in that organization of chaos.

This is easy to take for granted and overlook. But the reality of it is that these little, mundane, daily accomplishments can have a lot more power. And that is where mindfulness comes into play.

Mindfulness of the power of simple tasks

Simple tasks of this nature tend to be done by rote and routine. Many are habits. And yet doing them automatically generates that sense of accomplishment, which in turn builds thoughts and feelings of positivity.

But to recognize that – especially as rote, routine, and habit are subconscious – you need to be mindful.

Mindfulness is conscious awareness. Rather than just doing the routine or habit subconsciously – you actively be aware of what you are doing. That’s mindfulness in practice.

The conscious mind is your inner being and your subsequent mindset/headspace/psyche self. When you are aware, looking out at the world around you, and focusing on something (anything), you’re practicing mindfulness.

Being consciously aware of the sensory input of your six senses goes into mindfulness. This is what that might look like – while doing the dishes, you feel the warm, soapy water on your hands. You smell the dish soap. As you do the dishes, you see the food particulates and grease come off the surface of what you wash. Completing the task, you hear the sound of dishes being placed in the dishwasher or drying rack.

On top of being consciously aware of that sensory input, mindfulness includes awareness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. This is what that might look like – your intent is to clear away the dirty dishes. The action is washing them and getting them clean. You think about using the soap and water to accomplish that. It feels good to know the work is being done.

Thus, this very simple task, easily completed, via mindfulness generates that sense of accomplishment. That, in turn, finds and or/creates positivity.

Photo by Keegan Houser on UnsplashWhy is this necessary?

In a world of instant gratification, constant motion, and expectations both within and without, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. Meeting your own needs, and then the expectations of others on you can drain you and make you feel negative.

I know how this goes. There have been plenty of times when I got distracted by this, that, or the other thing – and started to feel bad. It’s so super easy to fall down the rabbit hole into news and information and the lives of other people. Before you know it – you’re losing hope, feeling defeated, and wondering how to fix things way, way outside your control.

The only thing over which you have control is yourself. That control is easy to lose sight of – especially as you do the rote, routine, habitual things you do on a given day. You might not even realize how this is impacting you. Except you feel exhausted, defeated, and like you are accomplishing nothing. Negativity dominates your life.

It seems like negativity is easy to find. In a world gone made – dealing with capitalism gone wild, the ongoing pandemic, false narratives – losing sight of feeling accomplished is easy.

But you have the power to change that. And when you find positivity you are acting to do so.

All large changes in the world begin small. Don’t believe me? One man, Martin Luther, nailing his Ninety-Five Theses to the door of a church, forever change Christianity. One woman, Katherine Johnson, overcame prejudice and racism, performing exquisite math to allow the first man to orbit the Earth and return alive, empowering humanity to begin exploring the stars.

Simple tasks have tremendous power for creating positivity. Mindfulness of this opens you to even greater accomplishments, potential, and positivity.

Choosing to find and/or create positivity from simple tasks isn’t hard

It begins with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Knowing that every small sense of accomplishment and achievement feels good and generates positivity, you can make more use of simple tasks for that purpose via mindfulness. When you recognize the power of these simple tasks – and are consciously aware of them rather than performing them subconsciously – that ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and spreads to more people. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity. A feedback loop we can all take part in.

Then, we build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of our lives for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

You, me, and everybody are worthy and deserving of all the good we desire. 

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundred and eighty-fourth entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Simple Tasks and a Sense of Accomplishment appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Fitting in and Being Liked

Fitting in and being liked are not all that important when all is said and done.

Photo by Jonas Denil on Unsplash

Throughout my teen years and well into my thirties, I really wanted to fit in. Not necessarily in the grand scheme of society – but within the structures that I spent time in.

Before high school, I spent my formative years as an outsider. I was the odd, fat, short Jewish kid from the single-parent home in our very Lutheran Midwest suburban neighborhood. In the Jewish community, I was from the only single-parent family (at the time) and didn’t fit in there, either.

These experiences influenced my actions into college and through my mid-thirties. To make up for being the odd-man-out and how lonely that made me feel – I put almost all my focus and attention into my social life.

This, in turn, led me to not make other choices. I gave so much attention to fitting in and being liked within my social circles that I did not pursue a real career path for myself. I bounced between jobs, homes, and relationships to continue to fit in and work on being liked.

The worst thing that came of this was that I lost perspective. Specifically, I lost perspective about myself. I was so caught up in fitting in and being liked that beneath the masks I put on the substance was lacking.

That, of course, would contribute greatly to my self-esteem issues and fear of abandonment. So of course, this made me somewhat neurotic, high-strung, and not at all calm nor Zen.

Eventually, I thoroughly disliked myself. Returning to therapy and actively working to get to know me, however, changed everything.

The beginnings of mindfulness work

Why do I share the ideas that I do? How come I’ve been writing about conscious reality creation and mindfulness all these years? Why do I work so hard to find and/or create positivity?

Because I needed and still need to be aware of and accountable for these things. For too much of my life, I have not been mindful, conscious of the reality I lived in or would like to create, nor been positive.

Every summer, before the pandemic canceled it for the last two years, I have attended an enormous medieval reenactment event. It draws over 10,000 people to it for 2 weeks every August. It has been something of the crown jewel of the social life I put so much of my energy into for fitting in and being liked.

This event has been so important to me that in my mid-twenties I once left a job so I could attend it.

To be fair, I love this event. The time with friends and being social has been a great experience for me. But when it was more important than other aspects of my life, this was unhealthy.

It came to this because I did not know myself. All I knew was the person I pretended to be so that I was fitting in and being liked.

After my first full experience of conscious reality creation and focused mindfulness – to recover from being hit by a car while crossing a street – I started to realize who I believed myself to be is important.

Who you think you are matters

For a long time, I thought I was a screw-up. A weird guy who had no career goal or focus, never settled, sucked at relationships, and wasn’t worth any effort – save fitting in and being liked. If the shoe fit to that end, I wore it.

But I lost myself in that shuffle. It wasn’t until I started therapy in my mid-thirties that I came to grips with this.

I did some things to be accepted by others that were not true to me. I dumbed myself down, denied my passions, acted as the clown, and presented as the butt of the joke – or in my friends’ vernacular the center of the circle – to fit in and be liked.

Ironically, there was one person who didn’t like me that I was ignoring. Me.

I didn’t think that who I thought I was mattered as much as who others thought I was. So, I wore the masks to be likable and desired among other people.

Thinking little of myself, however, took a heavy toll. I got out of shape mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I was erratic, constantly depressed, felt lost, and didn’t like who I’d become.

Therapy and antidepressants helped to get me centered so that I could see this for what it was. And I realized that it mattered as much – if not more – who I thought I was versus how others thought of me.

Then, on my own, practicing mindfulness and working to better know myself helped me think better of myself. And I started to give more attention and energy to fitting in and being liked by me.

Photo by Hadi Slash on UnsplashFitting in and being liked within

In the last decade, I’ve worked to change my focus. Rather than being someone that I am not – to be liked and fit in – I’ve been striving to know and be more myself.

What does that mean? It means instead of putting on masks and doing things I think others expect of me – so that they will accept me – I’ve been working on being who I desire to be and being liked by me.

I know a lot of people who do not like who they are. This comes from lots of different places and for many different reasons. But that’s still a struggle they face.

When presented with a choice to act on it, some will choose to see how they are empowered to work to make changes. Others, though, will seek out blame and fault outside of themselves and use that to avoid the choices and decisions to work on themselves.

I am in no way denying that shit happens. Hell, I did not seek to be hit by a car and severely injured when I was in my late twenties. I could have remained the victim of that if I didn’t choose instead to do everything in my power to fix it.

Hence, yeah, I got hurt. But unless I show you my scars you’d never know. I could have been the victim of that accident for the rest of my life. I chose not to be.

While I recognize I have a degree of privilege in my life – the following is still true for everyone: So long as you live you have choices available to you.

Am I still working on fitting in a being liked?

Admittedly, to some degree, yes. And that’s normal.

We are social animals. Human beings – even the most introverted among us – need other human beings. We interact, interconnect, and create social strata with one another.

Some groups are just a pair. Others include hundreds or more. Thus, all of us desire some degree of fitting in and being liked by other people.

But it’s important to be liked and fit in with ourselves. Do you like yourself? Maybe even love yourself? This is not an egotistical question – it’s important to you being genuine about who you are.

When you are you – and know yourself – it’s easier to find where and how you can fit in and be liked. Faking it, in time, will wear away. It’s inevitable. If you pretend to be someone you are not – and it’s someone you’ve no desire to be – the façade will crumble away.

If, however, you pretend to be someone you are working to become – that helps add energy and focus to draw that to you. This is where conscious reality creation comes into play. Mixing in mindfulness and liking yourself can turn the desired reality into actual reality.

I know myself better now than at any time before in my life. I’ve changed and continue to change, grow, and evolve. But as much as I still desire to fit in and be liked – being myself, true and genuine to myself, matters to me more.

When you like me for who I am – the relationship we develop will be honest, sincere, and positive for us both. Together, maybe we fit in by not fitting in and liking ourselves. Tat’s not a bad thing.

What have you done to fit it and be liked and has it been true to you?

This is the four-hundred and ninety-fourth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Fitting in and Being Liked appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Focus on What You Can Control

Be mindful when you focus on matters outside of your control.

Photo by Guilherme Stecanella on Unsplash

We live in a mad, mad, mad world.

Here in the United States, we’ve reached this bizarre place where a lot of people believe in a demonstrably false reality. Despite all evidence and logic to the contrary – they buy into any number of lies told to them by politicians, business leaders, religious leaders, and so on.

If, like me, you question things, strive to learn, grow, and evolve – this is not just illogical – but infuriating. And, if you focus on that – and trying to do something with or about it – that infuriation can easily turn into anger, spite, distress, and fear.

While out for a walk the other day, I found myself chewing on thoughts about this. They were spurred by a truck, poorly parked at a wonky angle and taking up a space-and-a-half with a Trump 2024 baseball cap on the dashboard. I cannot fathom how anyhow can follow, respect, or otherwise buy into that guy and his bald-faced lies.

That, in turn, started me thinking about the obstructionists in Congress, the denial of the unresolved issues with the attempted insurrection, and the unbridled cheating going on to empower a small chosen few while not giving a shit about anyone or anything else.

I started to get angry, frustrated, annoyed, scared, and just generally negative.

But then I paused and considered this: All these matters, people, and situations are outside of my control. If I give them my focus and energy – all I am doing is disempowering myself.

Thus, I am taking new steps to alter my focus thus: instead of getting caught up in the things outside of my control – work on what I can control.

The fine line between knowledge and overwhelm

It takes very little to become overwhelmed by information today. What’s more, if you believe something – all you need to do is search the internet to find evidence supporting that belief.

What’s really irksome about this, however, is how logically and scientifically disproven notions have people supporting them with unprovable “facts”. Hence, you have flat-earthers, anti-vaxxers, election-fraud theorists, and others spouting their “truth” across the internet – despite logic, evidence, and proof.

Even when it comes to factual information – it’s easy to get overwhelmed. That overwhelm, in turn, distracts us from ourselves and places our focus on all sorts of matters we have ZERO control over.

It’s easy to fall down this rabbit hole. You learn about situation ‘X’, and then start reading into it. That leads you to problem ‘Y’, and you start reading about that. Before long, you now also are fixated on matter ‘Q’, issue ‘Z’, and a wide range of other issues you can do not a damned thing about.

When I am not being conscious of this truth – I fall down that rabbit hole. Before I know it, I am digging into the story, learning about it in extravagant detail from multiple points of view – and giving it tons of focus and attention.

Focus and attention, mind you, I could be spending on my life situation.

What does that mean? It’s placing focus and attention on the things I can and do control – versus focus and attention on those that I can’t and don’t.

Thus, via mindfulness, I see my choice. Maintain basic knowledge so that I am aware of what’s happening out there – but not to the point of overwhelm and focusing my attention without.

Why? Empowerment versus disempowerment.

Focus is a powerful tool

Have you ever noticed when you get caught up in a thing you are doing – mental, physical, and/or emotional – you lose all track of time? Your focus is laser-precise, and you create something incredible, achieve something difficult, or learn something new and awesome? When you are focused on a thing you are doing – literally or figuratively – you gain a sense of achievement, success, and general feels of awesomeness from it?

That is empowerment at its most recognizable. It’s choosing and deciding to do a thing – focusing and following through – and seeing it done. For example – I set my mind to plot my new series of sci-fi novels. With that, I determined I would have 6 books to publish during this year.

With that focus, I have written all 6 of the aforementioned books.

It feels good that I have achieved – through focus on it – what I set out to do.

This is something wholly in my control. It’s my life, my actions, and putting that focus on them allowed me to make them real.

This is why putting the focus on what you can control over what you can’t control matters. Knowing every little detail of current politics does me no good whatsoever. Focusing on completing 6 books for publication in a year moves matters with my writing career forward.

We are as empowered as we are disempowered by what we put our focus on. Hence, if you focus on things outside of your control – you disempower yourself. Focus on what you can control – you empower yourself.

Focus is a powerful tool for taking your life in whatever direction you would choose for it to go.

Photo by Damir Spanic on UnsplashMindfulness of control

When you are aware of your inner being – your mindset/headspace/psyche self – you take control of it. That control allows you to choose and decide what directions you take your life in.

Gaining awareness of your inner beings is done via awareness in the now. Being aware, at this moment of the input you’re getting from your six senses – as well as your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. Combined, these inform you of who, what, where, when, how, and even why you are.

The one and only thing over which you have control is yourself. Mindfulness is how you take that control and make use of it. This is how you determine if your focus is on things in your control or things outside your control.

If you are focused on things you cannot control – you have the power to change that. The choice and decision for where your focus goes is on you. Hence, if you see that you are paying too much attention to outside matters – and focusing on things you’ve little to no influence on nor control over – you can choose a new direction.

Yes, it’s important to know what’s going on out there. But that doesn’t mean you need to be overwhelmed and totally focused on it. Since all change starts with you and me – you can’t change the outside world before changing your world.

This is NOT selfish. I repeat, THIS IS NOT SELFISH. You are better able to give and help other people when your focus is on your capabilities. When all you focus on are problems – that’s all you’ll see. Turn your focus on solutions – which begin with you – and that is what you find and/or create.

Use your focus to be empowered, rather than disempowered. The choice is up to you.

Choosing what you focus on isn’t hard

It begins with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Knowing that where you place your focus impacts whether you are empowered or disempowered – you can choose to focus on what you can control rather than what you can’t. When you place your focus on the things that you can control, you become capable of seeing solutions and positivity within you – rather than problems and negativity outside of you – and that ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and spreads to more people. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity. A feedback loop we can all take part in.

Then, we build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of our lives for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

You, me, and everybody are worthy and deserving of all the good we desire. 

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundred and eighty-third entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

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The post Focus on What You Can Control appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Choosing the So-Called “Easy Path” is not Easy

The “easy path” is what leads many people to depression, anxiety, and the like.

What is the easy path? The easy path is the conventional path. It’s doing the expected and shoehorning yourself into a “normal” life.

To be fair, there are people for whom this is fine. A normal, conventional life makes them content, happy, and fulfilled. I have nothing but respect for that – and if you are in that boat, more power to you.

Unfortunately, I think there are far more people for whom the conventional life is fraught with discomfort, pain, anxiety, depression, and a nagging sense that something is missing.

Modern American society has this notion that if you work long enough and hard enough you can succeed. For the most part, that looks like this: Put in your 8-12 hours a day, 5 days a week, working for “the man,” for 40+ years. Buy a house, get married, raise a family. Retire and enjoy your grandkids, travel, or do whatever excites you as a retiree. Just take the easy path and follow along and you’ll succeed.

While that works for some people – there are more for whom it doesn’t work. The “easy path” doesn’t account for diversity, alternative life choices, and anything else that might make one stand out.

This is ironic, since those who “stand out” get the raises, promotions, and bonuses in the standard model. Again, that’s perfectly fine for some.

But when that’s not what lights you up and interests you – you might still try to take that easy path because you think it is easy and you can alter yourself to traverse it.

The truth is – this is the equivalent of fitting a square peg into a round hole and the like.

One size seldom fits all

The things that I desire for my life are not the things you desire. They may have similarities and look alike in various ways – but they aren’t. And that’s because you and I are not the same.

The “standard” or “normal” way to live is not for everybody. Nor should it be. Let’s face it – if everyone did a 9-5 job in an office, who’d bake cakes for celebrations, create art for decorations, TV shows and movies for unwinding and entertainment, and design fabulous technology allowing instant global communications?

Artists, scientists, educators, actors, singers, and other creatives recognized how the “normal” life was not for them. Thus, they didn’t try to put on the one-size-fits-all work clothes and instead made their own way.

We know the names of many of the greats who did this. History is full of people like William Shakespeare, Marie Curie, Pablo Picasso, Albert Einstein, Jennifer Lawrence, and the like. But for each of these known personalities, there are probably a hundred more artists, scientists, teachers, and the like who took their own path successfully.

If your calling is not the supposed easy path in life – but you try to take that easy path anyhow – you will be facing unique challenges that make the easy path anything but easy.

That’s not to say you can’t do this. But it’s important to recognize that it will impact you and your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health.

Don’t deny who you are

Lots of people don’t want to deal with not fitting in. Further, they buy into the narratives that tell them the paths that are not the “easy path” are hardest to travel. They see the struggles of teachers, starving artists, and scientists working as underpaid and un-respected adjunct professors – and determine the standard, supposedly easy path is easier.

Many, in choosing this, shunt away their passion. They stop writing, painting, making music, researching, creating, or doing whatever it is that evoked passion in their life. They deny themselves the joy of that thing – and then wonder why they’re miserable.

Let’s be blunt here – not everyone can pursue their passion. Many people take the easy path because it presents as the only path. I know, for example, I have a certain degree of privilege that allows me to choose my path freely at this time.

I tried to take the so-called easy path more than once. And it made me depressed, left me feeling empty and wanting. To get where I am now, I fought a lot of conflicting beliefs and values instilled in me when I was too young to filter them.

But if you are on that “easy path” you would not have chosen if you felt you’d had a choice – it’s important to make time for your passion, rather than deny who you are.

If you can’t do it professionally or full-time, allow yourself space to make it a hobby.

By making at least some time to pursue that passion that’s not the “normal” – you open yourself to an outlet of positivity that can help you find and/or create the necessary work/life balance.

What’s more – there is nothing that says a hobby can’t become a career in time.

The easy path is seductive

Human beings need connections. We need to form connections with one another because we’re social animals.

Connections can be as small as a couple and as large as a community. We share ideals, beliefs, values, and other things to a greater or lesser extent that connect us.

Sometimes, though, the communities become unwieldy. Then you get broad ideals and “norms” for how life is supposed to work. In the extreme, conflict ensues when each side espouses superiority of their system of being over one another.

Hence, in 2021, you have a broad culture where the notion of being “normal” is how you fit into society and make more connections. If you take the supposed “easy path” laid out before you – more people will accept you and connect to you.

And that is extremely seductive. Who doesn’t want to be liked, thought well of, respected, and generally regarded?

Choosing a path apart from the easy path sets you apart. While some relish in that and desire to be separate and unique – others fear it.

When your calling is not “normal” – choosing to pursue it risks connectivity. Thus, many will heed the siren call of the easy path and go with it – even though it’s not at all how they desire life to be.

How do we normalize and better accept paths that are not the “normal” easy path? That’s up to you and me.

See all chosen paths as the easy path

How often do you get into a conversation with multiple friends or family members, and start talking about one specific individual? What gets said about the person who has chosen an unconventional path? At least someone will comment about it being foolish, dangerous, lacking, or some other negative remark.

You and I need to choose to

not participate in this commentary, andcallout others when they do.

When you and I are more accountable for how we view the paths of others – we can help expand that. When someone says “Can you believe Bob is pursuing an acting career? How crazy is that?” instead of agreeing or diagraming how crazy that could be – you and I need to say, “I can believe it – and I think it’s awesome. What can we do to support Bob?”

Rather than perpetuate the lack of ease or normalcy, you and I can move to expand it. But this is a choice – and it can have a price. Because now, not only is “Bob” and his choice suspect – so am I in supporting him.

But if you remain silent and complacent – you’ll eventually have no legs to stand on when it matters. Choices unchosen erode future choices away. If you and I don’t act to expand the perception of the easy path it will remain small and lacking in diversity and options.

If you choose the easy path, it’s important to recognize that the easy path is what leads many people to depression, anxiety, and the like. This is why if the path is not entirely what you most desire, you should not deny your passion. Find an outlet for it so that you can maintain and nurture it.

Remember – you are worthy and deserving of an amazing life and any paths you choose.

What paths have you chosen during your life – and what might you choose going forward?

This is the four-hundred and ninety-third exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

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