M.J. Blehart's Blog, page 36

Why and How Does Genuine, Real Positivity Build Things and Empower?

Because genuine positivity is a creative force that will build things and empower us.

Photo by Esteban Castle on Unsplash

Positivity is not a permanent state of being.

That’s because, realistically, there is no single state of being for anyone. That’s just the way it works. We all go through various states of being depending on any number of circumstances both in and out of our control.

Toxic positivity tends to postulate that always being positive in mind, body, and spirit is the end-all-be-all. But that’s simply not true and totally unrealistic.

All of us live in this world of extremes. But the key there is IN the world of extremes – not AT the extremes. Sure, sometimes we reach an extreme on one end of the cylinder or the other. But for the most part – we exist between all given extremes.

And by extremes, I mean the likes of up and down, black and white, good and evil, dark and light, big and small, and of course positive and negative. These are extremes we tend to refer to as opposite sides of a coin. But in truth, it’s not the thin edge of a coin between these extremes – it’s a cylinder.

What’s more – it’s a flexible cylinder. It’s colored by each of us and our values, beliefs, biases, prejudices, experiences, and all else that makes us different and unique.

And then – we get to choose where on the cylinder to place ourselves, and/or what direction (and the related extreme) to face. If we choose at all – which many do not consciously do.

If the extremes are not where we exist – why do they matter? Because they will determine what our experiences might be – and if they build or destroy us and the world around us.

Here’s my problem with many politicians and businesses

Two of the most negative and destructive forces in the world today are found in politics and businesses.

When it comes to politics, many only interfere, destroy, tear apart, sunder, and emphasize ruining the “other side” and what they represent. Then, when such politicians get control, we regress and/or nothing much of use gets done.

A perfect example – Republicans in the United States keep going after the less-than-perfect but better than nothing Affordable Care Act. Yet they only seek to destroy it – and never offer anything better. They don’t build a better plan or act – all they care to do is destroy. And negativity is their favorite tool.

Similarly, look at the many ludicrously profitable businesses that only pay their executives and shareholders well. They appear to build – money – but then what? They often destroy the environment, keep their labor pool hovering in poverty or give them very little in return, and they support others similarly bent on destruction in pursuit of even more money. Like politicians, negativity is their favorite tool.

How is negativity their favorite tool?

They create artificial lack, scarcity, and insufficiency to drive fear. That fear disempowers – and keeps them “empowered”, albeit falsely. They spin tales about “the other” who will take what is “rightfully” yours, be it your job, home, community, or sense of self.

They knock it all down and destroy it for their very personal and selfish gain. Gain that they could share and spread if they refocused on positivity and empowerment instead.

But that requires a fairly major shift in individual personalities beyond anyone’s control but those who are doing these destructive things. We can only change ourselves – but that’s plenty powerful stuff.

The world is on fire – and it’s also not really on fire

Right now, spend any time on social media, watching the news, or just paying attention to the world without, it looks like it’s all on fire.

Examples of this include Putin’s inane and destructive war against Ukraine, world economic woes teetering between inflation and recession, and a backasswards minority making terrible laws for the majority in the United States.

Spend any time on these things and you might feel bad, seethe in negativity, and even start to lose hope. Why are there so many forces that appear hell-bent to expound upon negativity and destroy rather than use positivity to build things and empower?

Is it easier to destroy? No, just quicker. It might take hours to build an exquisite sandcastle – and seconds to knock it down. Our modern society is utterly obsessed with quicker, easier, and instant gratification. Because we don’t consider consequences and future impact, we ignore long-term issues.

The resources on this planet are many and abundant – but you can’t poison the air, water, and soil and then wonder why you aren’t making money anymore (answer – the dead don’t and can’t pay for things). Mindfulness and conscious awareness matter for this big-picture reason, in addition to what mindfulness and conscious awareness means for you and me.

The reality is that while the world is on fire – it’s not really on fire. I believe this is how it’s always been. But it appears to be constantly on fire due to three things: the 24-hour instantaneous new cycle, the internet, and our fear-based society.

The interplay of these is why it looks and feels like the world is on fire. But for most of us – it’s maybe smoldering at worst.

This means we have choices to make.

Photo by Hello I’m Nik on UnsplashEmploying real positivity to build things and empower

Let’s face one very important fact: there is little to nothing you and I can do about or with the big picture issues of our world.

But our individual, one-of-a-kind realities, however, are under our control.

Every day we get to choose where on the cylinder between given extremes to place ourselves, and which direction to face. Be good or bad? Do right or wrong? Feel positivity or negativity?

This is not a set-once-and-done matter. Ever. It’s constantly, frequently changing. But that doesn’t mean it needs to be utterly random and outside of our control. Because we are capable of conscious awareness and using mindfulness therein to choose how to be, what to do, who, where, why, and all else that we are.

In my experience, whenever I am using real positivity, I find it much easier to build things and empower myself in that way.

Some days this is hard. On some days it starts easily – but then crashes down. But no matter the circumstances, I get to choose who, what, where, how, and why I am. Not that it’s always easy – often it’s not. But the choice is always mine to be made.

Why and how does genuine, real positivity build things and empower? Because genuine positivity is a creative force that will build things and empower us – when we choose it. We get to decide to face it, work with it, and let it into our heart, mind, and soul.

We’ve built amazing things before. And this is how it always begins.

Employing genuine positivity to build things and empower isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of our thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct our actions.

When we work to be mindful, we choose all that we are and can be, and whether to be destructive or constructive with all that we do. Knowing that we can make choices and decisions to be mindful, we can use this to look to genuine positivity to build things to change the world – beginning with our personal, individual corner of it – for the better. 

This empowers us – and in turn, our empowerment can empower others around us. That can expand to change the bigger picture matters.

Choosing for ourselves generally leans positively.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts matters in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, we can explore and share where we are between the extremes and how that impacts us here and now.

Lastly, I believe the better aware we are of ourselves in the now, the more we can do to choose and decide how our life experiences will be. When that empowers us, it can also open those around us to their own empowerment. And that is, to me, a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this ride with me.

This is the four hundred and forty-second entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Why and How Does Genuine, Real Positivity Build Things and Empower? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Is What We Do After We Get Bad News Ours to Choose?

We all get bad news sometimes. But what we do after we receive it is up to each of us to choose.

Photo by Muhammad Faiz Zulkeflee on Unsplash

One of my best friends wrecked an ankle long ago. Like, thoroughly destroyed it. They repaired it with pins and plates, and it served him for nearly 2 decades.

But over time, the pain levels associated with that ankle became unbearable. For several years he’s been fighting the constant pain, and it was negatively impacting his life.

At long last, they had an idea to get him some relief – and they did a surgical procedure to remove most of the plates and pins, hoping it would alleviate the pain.

At first, it seemed to work. But then, during recovery and rehab, the pain returned. This led to the bad news. His best option is to have the ankle replaced. FYI – he’s under 50.

That’s bad news. But you know what? He took it in stride. It was not unexpected – this surgery was not necessarily going to truly fix his ankle. At least now he knows what to expect and is planning accordingly.

This perfectly illustrates something we all experience at one time or another. We get bad news. And when that happens – we choose what to do next.

But first, let’s recognize and acknowledge a few truths we all must live with.

It does not matter who you are – you will receive bad news. And it will take any number of forms.

Everyone receives bad news from time to time

The bad news you receive might be about some overarching matter that you cannot control. Results of elections, decisions by the courts, school shootings, and everything else that happens in the world around us.

The next level of bad news we receive tends to still be indirect, but impacts people we care about. The injury of a friend, someone losing a job, a cancer diagnosis, a divorce, and that sort of thing. Bad news for people we know and care about – but that still doesn’t impact us directly.

This leads to bad news that directly affects us. A relationship we’re in ends, we get fired from a job, receive a terrible diagnosis, injury, or illness, and the like. Bad news that directly impacts us and our lives.

Everyone experiences this from time to time. Some is easy to deal with and move past. Some is a lot more difficult and might require ongoing action or treatment to handle.

Whatever it is, bad news generally presents an immediate, visceral reaction. And it’s always negative. We get upset, depressed, sad, angry, disturbed, uncertain, scared, and even sometimes a nasty combination of each of these all at once or in waves.

What we must recognize and acknowledge is that this is utterly, completely, and totally normal. It’s going to happen – and we can’t avoid it, disregard it, ignore it, or otherwise pretend it’s not a thing. That would be a form of toxic positivity, just FYI.

Because this is a normal human reaction, we need to accept it and even embrace it. Losses happen, bad news comes to each of us, and we can and should feel the bad feelings we have, grieve, and allow them to be.

For how long we allow them to be, however, is a choice.

Mindfulness provides choices

Conscious awareness of ourselves – in the here and now – is mindfulness. What does that look like? It’s a combination both of being aware of the world directly around us through the input of our six senses, alongside awareness of our thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. Together, that puts us in touch with our conscious awareness, our mindset/headspace/psyche selves.

Mindfulness of what we are thinking, what and how we’re feeling, the actions we take, and the intentions behind them are conscious awareness. When we have that awareness, we can alter our thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions how we see fit.

What’s more, we can see how our subconscious beliefs, values, and habits impact who, what, where, how, and why we are – in the present. Beyond that, we also gain clarity of how our ego reflects and projects both to the world and to ourselves.

Hence, we get to choose – after the initial, visceral reaction to bad news – how long to hold onto the negativity that it produced.

Let’s take a moment to recognize and acknowledge that I am not suggesting that we don’t have that immediate, visceral reaction at all. It’s normal and natural and unavoidable. But we do get to decide if it will dominate our lives going forward – and how long we allow for it to do that.

When you are able to move past the negativity that the bad news presents is variable. What the news is, how it impacts you, and the feelings it produces are all unique to you. Thus, so is when and how you move past it.

But via mindfulness, you do have a choice.

Photo by Conscious Design on UnsplashWhen does bad news stop causing pain?

This in and of itself presents a couple of different challenges. And again, there are things we need to recognize and acknowledge.

Some people go numb after bad news. They stop processing and appear to be alright. Maybe they are. But not necessarily. This is a post-visceral reaction reaction and is still under our control. But it can be hard to recognize – especially if we’ve closed ourselves off to avoid or dull any associated trauma and pain – mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical.

Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. It is perfectly valid and you’re not wrong for feeling it. This is all part of the human experience.

But then, you do have a choice. Allow the negative feeling or numbness to dominate your life going forward – or choose what to do, and what your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions will be.

No, this is not easy. When you are reacting to bad news, it is going to take time to feel like you have any control whatsoever. But you do – when you choose to take it.

Everyone has three basic choices every day for how to approach and live life:

Let life live you. What is, is, and just let it happen.Curl up in a ball and await death. Accept life is awful, you have no control, and don’t bother to experience anything that life offers you.Grab life like a bull by the horns and go for a ride. Take what control you can and experience life as fully as possible.

Everyone will go through all three of these experiences to a greater or lesser extent at one time or another. That’s just human nature.

But the truth is that we always have options and choices available to us.

This is your life and your path, but…

You will have negative experiences, receive bad news, and sometimes feel hopeless, disgruntled, dissatisfied, and otherwise negative. Congratulations – you’re human.

However – we all have the power to choose what we think, what and how we feel, intentions, and actions. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, nor that it is always so. Life is a paradox, yin and yang. Every single one of us lives between all the known extremes. This includes good and bad, positive and negative, right and wrong, black and white, and so on.

While we do always have the ability to make choices and decisions for our individual life experiences, that doesn’t mean that we always do. Bad news can cause us to freeze up, lose hope, and do naught but just exist for a time.

But how long that will be is up to us. We get to choose to release the pain and negativity – or not. And we might not be able to do it ourselves – it might require help. That might be therapy or just a deep conversation with a good friend and/or confidant.

Lastly – no matter what bad news you receive, you are worthy and deserving of all the good you seek in life. Bad news is a natural part of life and everyone gets some along the way. Some bad news is much worse than others. But there’s always a choice for what we choose going forward after the initial visceral reaction.

What did you do the last time you received bad news that directly impacted you?

This is the five-hundred and fifty-second exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info then click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Is What We Do After We Get Bad News Ours to Choose? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

The Zen of Positivity

True positivity is Zen.

Photo by Mor Shani on Unsplash

Many, many years ago, I was introduced to the idea of Zen when my best friend handed me the book Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Shunryū Suzuki. FYI, if you have not read this book, I highly recommend it.

Why? Because Zen is an ultimate state of calm, peace, and being present in the here and now.

It’s often joked about and even made fun of. But it’s a very good place to be because it’s ultimately present and now.

The present, this moment, of course, is the only time that’s real. The past is colored by bias, opinion, the imperfection of memory, prejudice, and our personal values and beliefs. Meanwhile, the future is always in motion, as yet unwritten, and subject to more unknowns and uncertainties.

Right now, the present, this moment in time is the only true, real, legit measure of time. Only in the here-and-now can we truly BE, complete and whole. This is a choice, of course, and doable via mindfulness.

Finding and/or creating positivity is a Zen action. Why? Because negativity destroys, neutrality is seldom true, while positivity builds. Thus, I believe that positivity is Zen.

Presently, I am reading a book about Zen practice called Mind Full to Mindful: Zen Wisdom From a Monk’s Bowl by Om Swami. It has been reminding me of how empowering employing Zen has always been to me. And this is why I postulate that positivity is Zen.

Please allow me to elaborate this thought.

What is Zen?

Most often, Zen is associated with meditation practice. While that’s an intricate part of the Zen philosophy, it’s just a part of it.

Zen is grounded in Buddhist tradition, but in my experience, that doesn’t need to be strictly part of the philosophy. Through the centuries, Zen has come to represent a calming of the mind, and with that the body and spirit, too. Its focus is on being present and mindful in the here and now – and just being.

You can find a lot of different definitions of Zen out there. This is one I prefer: Zen is both the moment-to-moment expression of ourselves (within and without) and a practice of realizing the simple joy of being.

What does that mean? It means that this experience, being human, with all our capacity for growth and learning, is amazing. And there is tremendous joy to be found in that truth. Zen is how we exist here, now, in the present, and experience our reality.

Remember, as Einstein said,

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

My reality and your reality might be quite similar. There are probably a lot of aspects and elements of both that are identical. But they are not the same because we are not the same. And that’s the illusion Einstein refers to.

Zen is the embracing of our reality, our life, and doing what we can to truly experience it.

This ties right to positivity

You have a choice every single day. It tends to be one of these three things:

Go into your day expecting the worst, planning on reacting to negative things and putting out fires and the like.Just go with it. Whatever happens, happens. Make no conscious choice, expect nothing, and just let it happen.Go into the day with hope, anticipation, and even excitement. Plan for positive things and great new experiences.

Yes, we can and will experience each of these on any given day. We can also experience ALL of these on any given day. But the initial choice, after you wake up, is yours.

Consciousness creates reality. Expect the worst, you’ll most likely get that and the associated negativity. Expect the best and though it might not come to pass, you won’t be positioning yourself to be additionally hurt by it.

It all comes down to choice. And so long as you are alive and drawing breath, you have choices. Yes, they might be poor choices, between the lesser of two evils, or otherwise imperfect – but they still are. So long as you have the choices you can make them as you see fit.

When you are mindful you are consciously aware. That means you can recognize what you are thinking, what and how you’re feeling, the intentions you have, and the actions you do or do not take tying it all together.

Conscious awareness is Zen. You know yourself, in the now. That’s the definition of Zen.

And it ties to positivity because the direction you choose to face on the spectrum between positive and negative is part of Zen.

Photo by Ashley Batz on UnsplashRemember it’s not a coin

Positivity and negativity are not two sides of a coin. They’re two sides of a flexible cylinder. All of us exist on the cylinder between the positive and negative extremes.

Hence, with some things, we move more towards positivity, with other things more towards negativity. Often, we stand somewhere near the center of the cylinder and choose a direction to face – positive or negative.

This is the realistic approach to both positivity and negativity. Because it recognizes not only that both exist – but that they are counterbalanced from one another. And both are necessary to our lives.

Why? Do certain negative things spur you to desire to make positive changes? If you didn’t know the negative, you’d not know the positive to change, would you?

We exist between the extremes. And we frequently choose positives and negatives. Or we choose nothing at all and just let life live us.

Is that what we’re here to do? Just to survive, to just exist, grow old and die? No. We are here to experience things. To live. To learn.

Yes, we’re going to grow old and die – but in the meantime, shouldn’t we live?

This is why Zen can be incredibly empowering.

It’s also why positivity is Zen. Because when you practice active positivity, you are choosing to live, to be, to experience. And that is the ultimate way to experience a Zen mind.

Finally, please remember this – Buddhism is a philosophy, not a religion. It can be tied to and even merged with other religions. But it’s a powerfully empowering philosophy that can help us all lead better, more content, more present, fuller lives. Hence, we can find and/or create the Zen of positivity therein.

Recognizing the Zen of positivity isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of our thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct our actions.

When we work to be mindfully aware of ourselves and where we are on the cylinder between positivity and negativity, we open ourselves to seeing how positivity builds all kinds of things in and for our lives – while negativity destroys. Knowing that we can make choices and decisions to be mindful, and thus Zen, we can use this to face towards positivity. And all that can help us build as we live and be to the fullest we can.  

This empowers us – and in turn, our empowerment can empower others around us. That can expand to change the bigger picture matters.

Choosing for ourselves generally leans positively.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts the concept in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, we can explore and share where we are between those extremes and how that impacts us here and now.

Lastly, I believe the better aware we are of ourselves in the now, the more we can do to choose and decide how our life experiences will be. If that empowers us, it can also open those around us to their own empowerment. And that is, to me, a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this ride with me.

This is the four hundred and forty-first entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post The Zen of Positivity appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Is Focusing Scattered Attention A Challenge for You Like it is For Me?

The name implies that scattered attention is scattered. But is it the same for everyone?

Photo by Vladyslav Prokopenko on Unsplash

I have a lot of metaphorical irons in the fire.

These include:

Working for an amazing entrepreneur part-timeEditing existing work to send to the editorWorking for an awesome web-training company part-timeWriting the first book of my new sci-fi seriesVarious things for my medieval reenactment societyA web3/Metaverse game projectPutting together my first speaking project

It’s exciting stuff. This all works into my path – and it’s all things I enjoy that are along the paths I desire to walk in this life.

However – my attention is scattered as such. Gaining focus for my scattered attention has been challenging.

This is particularly frustrating when we get to the matter of income. Of the above projects, two have semi-predictable pay. The rest are much more nebulous (and in the case of the reenactment stuff, no pay at all).

This creates a lot of consternation because like you, I have bills to pay and other matters that require money.

As I heard Scrooge McDuck on DuckTales repeat again and again when I was much younger, “Work smarter, not harder.”

Great advice. But when you have scattered attention, focusing to work smarter is a challenge.

I have no doubt this is familiar to you, too. So, let’s take a look at why.

For the love of the art vs the money

It was made quite clear to me as a child that money makes the world go ‘round. What’s more, the highest wage earners are doctors, lawyers, and merchant chiefs (so to speak).

Hence, it got ingrained in my subconscious that these were the best paths to make money. All others involve challenges and struggles.

Despite the messages (and occasional pushes from my mom) that law, medicine, and business are the best (sometimes only) places to make money – that was never my choice. Instead, I pursued theatre (directing and sound design, some acting and stage management), radio (DJ and production), and writing.

With the arts – as all the above count as such – I bought into the notion of the starving artist. I believed that doing any art for a living earns you very little.

Unless, of course, you make it big. Become the next Bernadette Peters or Howard Stern or Stephen King and watch the awards and money flow. Or at least – that was the message I received often.

And I have believed I could reach those levels. Or at least a level near enough that I sustain myself with my art.

Yet I still fight the notion of the love of art versus money. Somewhere deep in my subconscious I still believe it’s one or the other – but not both.

This has been some of the cause of my scattered attention. And with it, frustration when my earnings are not what I feel they should be.

Would better focus gain me more income?

Photo by Slim Emcee on UnsplashFocusing scattered attention

I listed 7 things I am doing at present. Each has some interconnectivity to it. But the question of focus is still relevant.

The two jobs working for others part-time take precedence. In part, because they pay. But also, in part, because they are work for others and impact more than just me.

But as to the rest of my scattered attention – what should take precedence?

This is actually much easier than my brain makes it.

For example – the web3 project demands very little of my time. When I need to attend to it – I do. And I have chosen to spend less time on the things I do for the medieval reenactment society.

I’m nearly done with my edits. Writing is always ongoing. But putting together my first speaking gig opens a way to tie it all together.

What will I be speaking on? Pathwalking. But this is a new approach, a different angle – one that I have always thought Pathwalking could take. Because it’s never been just about me. I’ve been sharing this for more than a decade because I think it’s valuable to everyone.

So many people struggle. Some struggles are big – others, not so much. But because kindness, compassion, and caring are universal desires – struggles people face tend to be equally universal. Having more tools to cope, work with, or change things is always valuable.

That’s been part of my aim all along. Even in my fiction – that’s part of what my characters endure and work through, too.

I’m pretty sure that’s just the human condition,

Likewise – so is scattered attention.

Scattered attention might be universal

I am in no way, shape, or form, negating anyone’s mental health. But over the past few years, I have known more and more people diagnosed with adult ADHD.

For many of those people, prescriptions they’ve received have helped them to take the scattered attention of ADHD and focus it. I think that’s awesome. Particularly when it balances them out and increased their contentment and productivity.

But what if this is not so rare, and much more normal? What if scattered attention is more Universal?

Look at the world we live in. Devices created to better connect us have actually disconnected us. What’s more – they create numerous distractions that cause even more scattered attention.

What can we do about this? I think the best answer is mindfulness. Specifically – maintaining conscious awareness of our thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. That allows us to check in with ourselves and recognize if we have issues with scattered attention.

From there – we can create focus to combat it.

Self-awareness. Mindfulness. Conscious reality creation. All tied together in my Pathwalking concept Maybe it’s not easy – but I find the work to live this way to be utterly worth it.

It’s a challenge. But then, really, isn’t that part of what keeps life interesting?

Do you have issues with scattered attention?

This is the five-hundred and fifty-first exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info then click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Is Focusing Scattered Attention A Challenge for You Like it is For Me? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

When We’re Not Nice to Ourselves How Do We Expect a Nice World?

It’s super important to us and the world to be nice to ourselves.

Photo by Ekkapan Kwantong on Unsplash

I’ve written it before – I’ll likely write it again. I am my own harshest critic.

I also know full well that I am not in any way, shape, or form alone in this. Lots of people I know are most critical when it comes to themselves.

While it’s a good thing to be self-aware and give ourselves critical focus for our overall good – it’s way too easy for us to take that too far.

What that comes down to, for me, is the not-nice things I tend to think and say – about myself.

Does any of this look familiar?

I look terrible. Why do I never manage to make this or that work? How come I always feel like a loser? Why do I fail so often? I’m not worthy. I do not deserve this, that, or the other thing. Why am I never good enough? No wonder I screw up all the time. Of course, it went completely off the rails – it involves me. *sarcasm* Nice job…idiot.

If someone spoke to me in any of the above ways, I’d be pretty peeved at them. So how come I accept that sort of thing from myself?

Self-talk tends to be habitual and subconscious

I’m not a psychologist or a similar professional, but I’ve done a lot of reading and studying on the topic of habits, psychology, mindfulness, and both scientific and spiritual approaches to all these. I claim no expertise, per se – but I have come to multiple realizations and conclusions.

As children, we (hopefully) receive both praise and criticism. I’d say before age 10, we mostly take these fully at face value.

But soon, as the brain evolves, we encounter the various oddities of society. One is that accepting praise at face value is not as important as taking criticism as such.

Think about it – how many people, as adults, don’t take praise well? There are levels of embarrassment, self-consciousness, and disbelief that are virtually automatic.

Conversely, criticism is accepted without question.

Why? I don’t know. But I suspect it’s because when we’re younger, we are inundated with messages about curbing our enthusiasm, keeping our ego in check, and not developing a swelled head from too much praise.

That embeds itself into our subconscious mind – and takes root as belief and value. Before we know it, unchecked, we accept criticism and negative beliefs about life, the Universe, and everything with little to no question.

So, it becomes automatic and habitual to take criticism and apply it inwards. Our self-talk leans to the negative – and while we are loathe to accept outsiders not being nice to us, we’re perfectly fine not being nice to ourselves.

Then we wonder why the world seems so cruel, uncompassionate, and unkind.

Not nice can be mindfully changed to nice

Habits embed themselves deep into our subconscious, taking up residence alongside our values and beliefs.

They become intertwined, and before we know it, we’re smoking, chewing off our fingernails, frequently overeating, and being not nice to ourselves via our self-talk and inner dialogue.

Because the negative beliefs get lodged with our habits and values in our subconscious, we tend not to recognize them for what they are. We accept them as the truth.

But they’re not. They can be changed – particularly when they don’t serve us.

Changing them cannot come from without. We can learn means and ways from outside ourselves – but can only implement change from within.

The first step to change is mindfulness.

Mindfulness is conscious awareness. It begins with becoming aware, here and now, in the present, of our thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. That conscious, mindful awareness then shows us our inner mindset/headspace/psyche – and how it connects to our subconscious.

When we’re consciously aware, here and now, we can see if our self-talk is not nice – and choose to change it to nice.

But it’s not that simple. Because often, being not nice has been habitual.

Photo by Dan Meyers on UnsplashBreaking/changing habits

Habits tend to be automatic and by rote. They just are. It’s very easy to see them as having always been present.

But habits are learned. And they permeate every element of our life experiences.

A lot of research by doctors and various scientists has shown much of what we do is habitual. I would guess 2/3 of the things we do on any given day are habits.

Getting out of bed when and how we do. Brushing our teeth. Going to work. Interacting with certain people. When we check our phones. Watching TV or internet vids. Going to bed at night.

You might be thinking – that’s just my routine. But routine is often habit.

Habits are formed over time via repetition. They become rote and routine and automatic. And we can’t just erase them.

To change and replace a habit requires conscious, mindful effort. We must recognize what we’re thinking, what and how we’re feeling, and what our intentions are before we act. That’s how we create and begin to make new habits.

We can’t erase habits like we can’t undo the past. But we can make new choices, new decisions, and take new actions to create new habits that replace unwanted ones.

This applies to being nice to ourselves.

Be mindful of self-criticism and associated self-talk

The first step is to become truly aware of the uncomplimentary and not nice things we think about and say to ourselves. We must recognize and acknowledge where this comes from our subconscious, within, and see it for what it is.

Then we can choose to change the self-talk. Take ahold of our negative commentary and thoughts about ourselves and be kinder, more compassionate, and frankly – nicer.

And we need to keep at it. Forgive ourselves when we slip and return to the not-nice self-talk – and again work via mindfulness to shift it. Change it.

It takes time and conscious effort to change our inner critic. But if you are not liking what you say and think about yourself – you’re empowered to change it.

But it won’t come from without – you and I must begin from within.

We deserve to live in a nice world. How do we expect to create that when we’re not nice to ourselves? Hence, with ourselves is where we need to begin. And we’re all worthy and deserving of this – despite ingrained beliefs that are telling us we aren’t.

Take the praise – you’re worthy and deserving of it because you are a good person at heart seeking to live the best life that you possibly can when all is said and done.

Recognizing how being not nice to ourselves hurts us isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of our thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct our actions.

When we recognize and acknowledge that our being not nice to ourselves extends out to the world around us – we can employ mindfulness and conscious awareness to change that. Knowing that we are worthy and deserving of being nice – and receiving the same kindness, compassion, and good we desire to give – we can mindfully access the subconscious where our habits, beliefs, and values live. And change or replace them with self-talk, habits, and values that better serve us.

This empowers us – and in turn, our empowerment can empower others around us. That can expand to change the bigger picture matters.

Choosing for ourselves tends to lean positively.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast space that exists between them – shifts the concept in a way to opens more dialogue. In that form, we can explore and share where we are between those extremes and how that impacts us here and now.

Lastly, I believe the better aware we are of ourselves in the now, the more we can do to choose and decide how our life experiences will be. If that empowers us, it can also open those around us to their own empowerment. And that is, to me, a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this ride with me.

This is the four hundred and fortieth entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post When We’re Not Nice to Ourselves How Do We Expect a Nice World? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

When We’re On Our Life Paths We’re Not Always Walking Alone

Our life paths belong to us alone – but that doesn’t mean we walk them wholly alone.

Photo by Scott Evans on Unsplash

At the start of 2012, I began Pathwalking. This regular weekly blog would evolve into a whole life philosophy. Through this process, I have been choosing paths for my life experience for the past 11 years.

These have been some of the best years of my life. Many things have changed over this decade-plus – the vast majority of it being for the better.

I have been largely choosing my path, my life experience, and working with the tools that we all have. Mindfulness, self-awareness, conscious reality creation, and making my own choices and decisions for how to live this life.

One of the key elements of this philosophy is that the only person’s path we can ever choose is our own. I can’t make you choose a path and vice versa. We’re on our own, deciding the best course of action for the many elements of our life experiences.

There is a huge amount of freedom that comes from this.

But for the most part – nobody lives in a vacuum. And by that, I mean we interact with other people to a greater or lesser degree.

This is why, though we are on our own, unique, individual, for-us-only paths – we’re not always walking them alone.

Who else is on these paths with us?

Just like the individuality of our given/chosen paths, so too are who might be on them with us.

But the simplest explanation is anyone we share our life with.

In my case – that’s my wife. All choices that I make on this path will impact her for better or worse.

Fortunately, she understands my process, my path, and my choices. That understanding has gone further to include encouragement for the paths I am on.

You might have a spouse, a live-in partner, a roommate, a family member under your care or that you live with. When you choose a path – you are going to be bringing them along.

This can be problematic for a lot of different reasons. And this crosses into a weird nebulous place where the individual is not wholly alone – by choice.

Here’s the thing – only you can know your head, heart, and soul. That’s always true, no matter how close you might be to another. But some types of relationships create a common, shared life that cannot be neglected or ignored.

Communication is the key

That path I am on today is not the path I was on in 2012. At least, not in the way I am traversing it today.

My current path was begun somewhere around 2018. It’s met the usual twists, turns, bumps, and obstacles. For the most part, however, this has been an incredible, amazing experience.

That’s not to say there aren’t some bad days and a lot of different frustrations.

Much as this is my path to walk. But for lots of reasons I’m not going into here, I could not walk it without my wife’s support.

And that comes down to communication.

We talk about everything. She knows what I am doing – and I know what she is doing. She accepts the pitfalls of what I do, and I support all that she does. We’re a partnership – and communication is the key to how I walk this path with her at my side.

Even though she’s not on the same path I am.

Photo by Sebastian Pichler on UnsplashOur life paths and the journey

One of the most important factors of the paths I’ve been choosing to walk these last 11 years are about the paths themselves. The journey. The present. Living in the now.

Mindfulness is necessary for conscious awareness. It’s awareness that tells us what we’re thinking, what and how we’re feeling, what actions we’re taking, and the intentions behind them. That opens the door to taking control of where we are and where we go from there.

All of this is a product of the now. Because the only time that’s really real is the now.

Right here and now, though my path is for me alone, my wife walks by my side on this journey. Her support, her love, and her presence empower me further. Even though our paths are not the same – we still share them.

We are each on our individual journeys in this life. But while our end goals are unique, the journey is shared.

Our life paths allow us to take the same journey together, even though where we go is separate. But – that written, the end goals we both have will be reached together and shared.

We recognize and acknowledge this. And together, we have formed a collective consciousness.

Life paths and collective consciousness

The collective consciousnesses in the world tend to become “reality” as we generally identify it.

Hence why we agree that water is wet, the sky is blue, a red light means stop, up is the opposite of down, and the like.

But then it zooms in. Various individual collectives come together. That’s why you get a cult of personality around the likes of Trump believing untrue things to be reality – or – religions claiming they are the One True Way – or – those of us who value science, logic, and reason over demagogues, opinion, and blind faith.

Each of these variations of reality forms around variations of collective consciousness.

The collective consciousness is like a soft down comforter on a cold winter night. It’s heavy, warm, and easy to snuggle into and lose yourself within. It gets adopted as being your own individual consciousness.

This becomes problematic when you focus on things that are false, bullshit, or otherwise untrue. The reinforcement of this in the collective then leads to conflict. Does that look familiar?

When we practice mindfulness and conscious awareness, we stand apart from the collective. We might still fall within it – but we make the choices and decisions for ourselves rather than let them be made for us.

Sometimes, we form small collectives. And that is what my wife and I share.

While we each make our own choices and decisions – they are done with consideration for one another.

Our life paths belong to each of us alone – but that doesn’t mean we walk them wholly alone. Recognizing and acknowledging this can go beyond you and me to the wider world.

I believe that that would help us to be more tolerant, accepting, and cooperative. And that would make the world a better place for everyone – don’t you think?

Who shares the journey on your life paths with you?

This is the five-hundred and fiftieth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info then click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post When We’re On Our Life Paths We’re Not Always Walking Alone appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Really, Truly, Anything is Possible – Anything at All

Anything is possible And that means a lot right now.

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

Today is the 4th of July. Independence Day in the USA.

Sadly, I am not feeling much like celebrating the nation. Too many steps backward, too many divisive forces doing worse and worst things. It’s a real challenge to feel like celebrating at all in this environment.

But at the same time, I am not going to get all pessimistic about it. I considered titling this blog “Is this one of the last birthdays of the USA?” But then, I determined I was not going to focus on the negative – this is about positivity, after all.

Thus, instead of looking to the insanity and feeling bad about where we are now – I am going to instead point out that anything is possible. Really, truly, anything at all is possible.

And along that line – turning things around and improving where the nation and the world are going is not impossible.

But you and I can do almost nothing about it. We can vote, protest, write emails, and make calls. That’s more or less it.

However, the other thing we can do is live our lives to the best of our abilities.

Living your best life isn’t selfish

It is especially hard to focus on choosing to live our best lives when we see a world in such incredible chaos.

But here’s the thing. Because we can do very, very little for and about the big picture matters, there is little value in giving them too much of our attention. Finding the balance between awareness of what’s going on and too much information is important.

But along that line – we need to focus more on what lets us live our best lives.

Immediately, this can feel hugely selfish. With all that’s going on, isn’t that notion incredibly selfish of me?

No. Because if you don’t live your best life – then who will?

It is not selfish to choose to take care of ourselves. So long as what we do is neither hurtful nor harmful to anyone else – it’s good and good for us.

You alone know you. And that’s why you need to put more emphasis on self-care and living your best life.

We each get one shot in these meatsuits to experience all this life has to offer. What we do with that – or not – is pretty much the primary thing in life that matters.

All the little bits and pieces that make up our lives are important. To fully understand this, we need to recognize and acknowledge how anything at all is possible.

Anything is possible

Life is unpredictable. You never know what might randomly occur – good, bad, or otherwise.

To some people, this is a scary notion. But I don’t agree. Because anything is possible – I see us being capable of amazing doings and amazing change.

Despite all the doom and gloom of the world at present – I think good can still be found. It can also still be created. We are more capable than we tend to give ourselves credit for.

Remembering this is important. When we recognize that anything is possible, we are open to possibility. And potential. We can do things to actively alter our life experience – and choose better for ourselves.

It is not selfish to do this.

Photo by Marija Zaric on UnsplashBe mindful, aware, and practice self-care

Despite all that’s going on that’s bad in this world – we are empowered to seek and find better where we can.

Overall, this is going to be found within ourselves. Anything is possible for our lives – and we can use that to make choices and decisions to live as well as we possibly can.

We get to choose if we want to live our lives focused on all the things over which we have mostly no control – or to instead make the choices and decisions for our lives that are wholly ours. Knowing this is a matter of mindfulness – and conscious awareness of our thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions as such.

It may not seem like we control much at all. But when it comes to ourselves and our individual life experiences – anything is possible. But we must choose and decide what that looks like for ourselves.

Despite the appearance to the contrary – I believe we can turn this around. But until we begin with ourselves – being mindful, aware, and practicing self-care – we won’t get very far.

It’s good that anything is possible – because it means we can change this negative big picture. Then we might be able to build something new we can truly celebrate.

Recognizing that anything is possible isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of our thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct our actions.

When we recognize and acknowledge that anything is possible – we can use this as a vehicle for positivity to turn this crazy world towards new and better possibilities. Knowing that we can really only work with and from our own lives first, we can make use of that in our daily choices and decisions – and where we give our focus and attention. This empowers us – and in turn, our empowerment can empower others around us. That can expand to change the bigger picture matters.

Choosing for ourselves tends to lean positively.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast space that exists between them – shifts the concept in a way to opens more dialogue. In that form, we can explore and share where we are between those extremes and how that impacts us here and now.

Lastly, I believe the better aware we are of ourselves in the now, the more we can do to choose and decide how our life experiences will be. If that empowers us, it can also open those around us to their own empowerment. And that is, to me, a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this ride with me.

This is the four hundred and thirty-ninth entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Really, Truly, Anything is Possible – Anything at All appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Why and How is Choice a Fundamental Human Right?

Because choice is what separates humanity from the rest of the animal kingdom.

Photo by Gayatri Malhotra on Unsplash

Animals care only about their survival. They live to seek shelter, food, and a mate to propagate the species. Though it might be a bit of an oversimplification, their choices are limited to just these and a few related elements along these lines.

Humans, on the other hand, are far more complex when it comes to choices. We are designed to not merely do what is necessary for our survival, but also to grow, expand, learn, discover, and ultimately thrive.

Choice by and large is an individual matter. That’s because no two people are alike, and what we desire is equally dissimilar.

Yet choice has been a central point of contention lately across the world. Particularly here in the United States, where 6 people decided to take away choice for hundreds of thousands.

Without getting into a debate about the hot-button topic of abortion, there is a much bigger problem with this decision. Denial of choice. Those 6 people just told countless women they have no choice in matters of their own bodies. That, ultimately, is the greatest tragedy of this backasswards decision.

There is no debate here. Some will argue that there is, but there’s not. And that’s because choice is a fundamental human right, as it’s how we can evolve and grow unlike any other creatures on this planet. It’s a fundamental aspect of our overall mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual makeup.

Where does law come into this?

A lot of people get caught up in blending choice with law.

That’s not to say that in a society and culture shared by lots of people laws aren’t necessarily. They absolutely are. But the line between protection and intrusion often gets blurred.

Take seatbelt laws and helmet laws. Yes, it’s easy to argue that wearing a seatbelt in a car or a helmet on a motorcycle is an individual choice that should not be dictated by law. And I can even see logical reasons to debate it.

But then there is the why of these laws. If we get into a car accident – and a seatbelt would have saved your life – I am now partially responsible for your death. When a motorcyclist suffers a brain injury because they didn’t wear a helmet and I am the paramedic scraping them off the pavement, my life has been impacted by their choice.

This is where laws such as these (and mask mandates during the pandemic) come into play. It’s about the greater good and protecting others in addition to the individuals.

There is a huge difference between a law that protects the general public and a law that interferes with body autonomy.

Choice is a fundamental human right. When it comes to our bodies and what we choose to do with them – on a personal, private matter – is not for the state to decide. Yes, they make some almost-cogent arguments for why it’s their right – but it’s not. Choice is a fundamental human right that should not dictate what anyone can do with his or her body.

This brings me to the next point.

Everyone can make a choice for themselves – but not for anyone else

Has someone made a choice for you that you disagreed with? When they made that choice, did they argue that it was for your own good?

I’ve been there. Odds are, so have you. Once we reach adulthood, we have developed sufficient brain function and life experience to take responsibility for ourselves and our choices. And yes, this is a variable matter I am not going to debate here and now. But I digress.

There is only one person inside your head, heart, and soul. That’s you. Ergo, you, and you alone, know what’s right for you. That means that choices about your life are wholly on you. Nobody else can choose them for you.

Even when we allow someone else direct influence on a given choice – in the end, we choose it.

You make choices all the time. Some are habitual and automatic. Others are subjective or objective and situational. We make choices that are relatively small and others that are ginormous and earth-shattering.

Choice is a fundamental human right.

When you get out of bed; what you eat for breakfast; taking 2 minutes to pet your cat; the route you take to work; who you spend free time with; who you sleep with; where you live; what you do for a living – every single one of these are choices you get to make.

Nobody can make those choices for you.

Those choices might indeed be influenced by outside forces. If, for example, you work 9-5 at an office, you might have little choice but to set your alarm for 7am, do all your morning routine in the next 90 minutes, and get on the road by 8:30 so that you punch the clock on-time – or suffer the consequence that will occur if you’re late.

Photo by Marcus Wallis on UnsplashTaking away choice violates human rights

Those are choices we make for ourselves. Nobody else can make them for us. Even if we cede the choice – we make it.

How do you feel when someone forces something on you? Let’s say that this is something like a dress code; job-related hairstyle requirements; or endless, pointless meetings? You have no choice – do it this way, period. OR there will be consequences. It’s not a good feeling, is it?

Even when it’s relatively benign, it still doesn’t feel good.

What if someone told you that all you can eat for breakfast is something you are not fond of? You have no choice – that’s your only option – no choice at all. Ludicrous, right?

Now imagine (if you are not) that you’re a woman – and you’ve been told you cannot choose what’s right for your body. You have decided you never want children – but no doctor will tie your tubes or perform a hysterectomy without argument, telling you they know better than you and you should reconsider. Or no matter what the reason – you must carry an unwanted pregnancy to term.

That’s what happens every day. Denial of choice. A violation of one of the most fundamental human rights – body autonomy. Not in the name of a societal good (like seatbelts, masks during a pandemic, and helmets for bikers) but in the name of control and the beliefs of a select minority.

That is unacceptable. Denial of choice in this matter and those like it violates the fundamental rights of all human beings.

Choose for yourself

I cannot make a choice about your body. Likewise – you can’t choose for me. I am not you – you are not me. It’s that simple.

Denial of choice denies a fundamental human right that places us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom. That’s why women are as outraged as they are – because denying them this choice denies them their equal human rights to men.

If you think this is about abortion – how come only women get targeted and punished, but the men who put them in this position suffer no consequences? Because it’s about control.

If you are against abortion – don’t get one. Don’t like that music or book? Then don’t listen to it or read it. Think your religion is right for you? Great – now accept that it might not be mine or right for me and keep it to yourself. These are all choices – which you alone can choose for yourself. Leave the rest of us out of them.

When I started Pathwalking over a decade ago, it was all about making choices for my life experience. I have shared it – not to bring you to my same conclusions – but to choose your own. The whole point of Pathwalking is to be consciously aware, mindful of the present, and to choose our individual life experiences.

Choice is the point of all philosophy. We choose how to live our lives. The where, what, how, why, when, and who of ourselves are all choices on our parts. Whether we make them – or not.

Your path belongs to you and you alone. And that is a matter of the choices you make for your life experience. Choice is a fundamental human right that belongs to EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. US.

Can you see why and how choice is a fundamental human right for everyone?

This is the five-hundred and forty-ninth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info then click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Why and How is Choice a Fundamental Human Right? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

After This Latest Insanity – Can Positivity Still be Found?

Yes, positivity can still be found. But it will probably be strictly personal.

May 3, 2022 protest at the Supreme Court

At the end of last week, the highest court in the United States did one of the most horrific things I could imagine. They took away the right of a person to choose what they do with their body. (Let’s be clear – if you think Roe v Wade was ever about the unborn and abortions – you are not paying attention).

This was not the only awful thing the court did. And all signs point to more to come.

How in the hell can anyone who cares about anyone other than themselves find positivity?

We won’t if we only look outside of ourselves to find it. That way lies madness.

So, what can we do?

We can focus within rather than without. Mindfulness will find us positivity.

Mindfulness and the now

I apologize if you’re not an American, and this particular article is very USA-centric. But that’s my frame of reference, and presently it’s not a good one at all.

What can we do about this awfulness? We can (and frankly must) vote for better leaders. Protests can be started and attended. Donations can be made to worthy causes. Letters, emails, and phone calls can be blasted to our existing congresspeople. And we can hit ‘em where it counts – in the pocketbook – by boycotting businesses that support candidates and discriminatory ideologies, as well as not visiting states enacting Draconian backasswards laws to ban abortions and/or criminalize women who get them.

Keep up the pressure, here and now, and don’t get complacent before the midterms in November.

That action for change is a form of positivity. Because its action to choose a new course before the present one gets even nastier. But you can only do what is right for you – but remember we cannot change anyone unwilling to change.

Aside from that, general mindfulness is a key means to finding the positivity we can on any given day.

Here and now, in this present moment, you’re alive. It may not be great for whatever reason – but you’re here. That, in and of itself, is positive.

Surely there is something you can be consciously aware of, in the present moment, that’s positive. That sort of positivity is bigger than you might imagine – and just as powerful.

It is neither selfish nor wrong to seek and find positivity – even among all the nastiness. That’s because if we allow ourselves to be dragged down, made hopeless, and give up in the face of this – we can do nothing to change it. And what’s more – consciousness creates reality.

This is not toxic positivity

The Law of Attraction is like the Law of Gravity. It works if you believe in it or not.

Yes, we need to be aware of these things. Sweeping them under the rug, ignoring them, disregarding them, or pretending they are not happening is foolish and toxic. But recognizing and acknowledging them is very different from soaking in them.

What do I mean? We do not need to be so engrossed in this awfulness that it dominates everything we do. If we choose to do that – we disempower ourselves and our ability to control what little we can.

What little can we control? Realistically – our thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. Apart from that, there’s little else.

We cannot control anyone else, period. All we can do is work from where we are, here and now, through mindfulness, to be.

It might look awful dark. This situation is upsetting, depressing, and distressing. But so long as you and I are drawing breath and living our lives, we can find good to focus on – positivity – to help us combat this awfulness and move beyond it.

Positivity is a key to us finding our individual power. And we have the power to create nearly anything we desire to.

Photo by Nick Fewings on UnsplashThere is still good in the world

Immediately after this horrendous decision, multiple businesses and several state governments expressed their support for the healthcare and autonomy of all people.

Numerous individuals, great and unknown, offered what help and support than can provide to find ways to turn this around and empower the disempowered and disenfranchised.

This ridiculous situation was created by a minority who act like they have majority power and support. They have a vision that is counter to reality where they have dominion that they do not, in truth, have. Part of the problem is that they are vocal, really loud, and well-funded. Alongside that, many in the majority have remained silent – which, unfortunately, unwittingly makes them complacent.

The thing is, despite this incredibly unpleasant situation, it’s important to recognize that there is still good in the world. Though it might not seem that way – the majority is of good intentions.

Maybe that’s overly optimistic and appraisal on my part. But to be honest – I cannot accept that the ugly, dark, disturbing happenings in the world right now are going to win. I won’t let them in whatever ways I can – which is why I share these articles and reminders that you and I are empowered to find good, create positivity, and turn this shit around.

No, it is not easy. And it won’t be. But because I believe that people are not inherently cruel and selfish, I believe that when more of us seek and find what positivity we can in the world, the more we can shift the collective away from this destructive, dark path.  

Positivity can still be found. Andi t can empower change to shift away from this unpleasant path to another that is good for more than a select, selfish few. It begins with you, me, and what we choose.

Finding positivity for our own lives, even after this latest insanity, isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of our thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct our actions.

When we recognize and acknowledge that things are not good – but don’t make that the whole of our focus and attention – we can be open to seeking and finding positivity. Knowing that positivity represents pathways to turning this awfulness around, and findings and/or creating more good in the world, arms us to take a stand and do something useful to take on this insanity. This empowers us – and in turn, our empowerment can empower others around us. That can expand to change the bigger picture matters.

Choosing for ourselves tends to lean positively.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast space that exists between them – shifts the concept in a way to opens more dialogue. In that form, we can explore and share where we are between those extremes and how that impacts us here and now.

Lastly, I believe the better aware we are of ourselves in the now, the more we can do to choose and decide how our life experiences will be. If that empowers us, it can also open those around us to their own empowerment. And that is, to me, a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this ride with me.

This is the four hundred and thirty-eighth entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

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The post After This Latest Insanity – Can Positivity Still be Found? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

What is it about Expecting Both the Least and the Most from Myself?

It’s not expecting the least and the most from ourselves that’s the trouble. It’s the expectation itself.

Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash

Our harshest critics tend to be ourselves.

We set the highest bars, frequently judge on shifting expectations, and give the harshest criticism to ourselves. I don’t know about you, but often, I would not accept the kinds of things I think and say to myself were they to come from someone else.

And yet – I know I’m not alone in this. I expect the most from myself.

But for every yin, there’s a yang. And on that scale, I often expect the least from myself, too.

That means that I often think I’m not worthy nor deserving of X, Y, or Z. How can I get that thing when I’m pretty sure I don’t deserve it?

This has been one of the ongoing challenges of the path I have chosen for my life. Reconciling it is an ongoing process.

To begin, we need to recognize and acknowledge it.

What are we recognizing and acknowledging here?

My current path in life is all about building my brand. That’s got several layers to it.

I am a storyteller. The stories that I tell are intended to both educate and entertain. Enlighten and delight. Awaken creativity and imagination, and encourage greater self-awareness, mindfulness, and active choices.

In my role as a storyteller, I have 3 distinct approaches.

I’m an author. I write sci-fi and fantasy novels. I blog about mindfulness, self-awareness, conscious reality creation, and life lessons to encourage people to choose their paths in life.Since 2018, I have been a podcaster. This ties directly into my blogs and sharing how people can use self-awareness to choose their paths in life.I’m putting together a speaking plan. It might also tie into online courses people can take to improve their lives via my Pathwalking philosophy/ideology/life strategy.

The first two of the above 3 have been underway for some time. Part of building the third approach has been working out the specifics of my brand and what that means.

This has a lot of challenges to it. They include:

As an author of sci-fi and fantasy, I am still mostly unknown. This is creating challenges for selling my novels.When it comes to my self-awareness work, I lack credentials and, like my fiction, remain largely unknown. Despite all evidence that I should be a high-earner on Medium – that’s been challenging.My podcast is gaining listeners. But, again, I’m mostly an uncredentialed unknown.To become a speaker and offer courses online, I need to make my brand more cohesive.

Along the way, I expect the most from myself in making this happen. And at the same time, I expect the least from myself because I don’t know if I’m worthy or deserving.

Expecting the least and the most together

This may or may not look familiar in some way to you. For me – this is where the challenges lie.

This path I have chosen for myself – Pathwalking overall – is full of challenges. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But at the same time – I really desire for the results to be better.

And I know that my self-sabotaging behaviors, procrastination, and bouts of overall malaise are the direct result of expecting both the least and the most from myself.

I can’t deny this is somewhat schizophrenic. On the one hand, I believe I rock, and that this path of mine is the life I’m supposed to live. On the other hand, I believe that I suck, and I’m ridiculous for pursuing this.

Expecting the least of myself is born of self-doubt, issues with my sense of worth, and a perception on my part that society is judging me – and judging me harshly.

Why? Because again and again, I choose paths that go against the “norm”. I do things that are not common.

Corporate America and I do not go together well at all. I didn’t get married until I was in my 40s. My wife and I aren’t having or adopting kids. We prefer to rent than to own.

Right there, I stand apart from societal norms. I don’t choose this because I’m trying to actively rebel, per se. These are the choices I’ve made to live my life as genuinely and fully as possible.

Because I believe, also, that I should be able to choose my own life path and live in that way. My brand comes with zero intent to hurt or harm. It’s my overall goal to bring more compassion, kindness, and empathy into this world – both for ourselves and each other.

Creating an ongoing cycle by the expectations of the least and the most

On the days I don’t deliver – when I fail to get the most out of my experience – that reinforces the least that I think of and expect of myself.

This paradox, unrecognized or acknowledged, can lead to numerous issues. The more I expect both the least and the most from myself, the more I set myself up for self-sabotage, disappointment, and failure.

Your path is not the same as my path. Yet, I’m fairly certain at least some aspects of my struggles and challenges are familiar to you.

When we expect both the least and the most from ourselves, we set ourselves up for a little madness.

Should we blame society, our parents, specific communities, the government, big businesses, or even ourselves? No. Blame does us no good at all.

Accountability, however, is something we have total control over.

Photo by Zoltan Tasi on UnsplashMindfulness and accountability for expectations

Yes, sometimes the least and the most we expect of and from ourselves get impacted by outside influences and influencers. But even when that’s the case, what we do from there is on us ourselves.

Blaming or otherwise passing responsibility – even when blaming ourselves – does nothing to help. All it might do is delay a crash.

Accountability, however, takes responsibility for the least and most of our expectations. Recognizing and acknowledging that, we can then work on balance, centering, and lessening expectations.

How’s that? Expectations are all about outcomes. For the most part, we have little to no overall control of a given outcome. As we always say in melee rapier combat – the plan usually fails at contact with the enemy.

Maybe I expect ‘X’. And while I do all that I can to get to it – the unexpected shifts, changes, and alters my course.

That’s not to say I won’t reach ‘X’. But the expectation for where and how – and all else – might not be the reality of the experience.

The essence of mindfulness is that it’s a product of the now. The present moment. Mindfulness is conscious awareness here in the present. And when we are mindful – we can be present with what we have rather than automata of expectation.

This means we can take control in the now to direct our path. Since the now is the only truly real time, being in the now and mindful lets us live the fullest, most amazing lives that we can.

The biggest problem with having expectations of both the least and the most of myself isn’t the opposing variables – it’s the expectations taking me out of the now.

Expectations are products of the past and future

Mindfulness and accountability, here and now, can overcome expectations and the harm they do.

When all is said and done, it’s expectations themselves – not if they are the least and the most of ourselves – that are the issue at hand.

Why? Because expectation is not a product of the now. It’s a product of the past and all that we have and haven’t learned from it. It’s a product of the future because expectation takes us out of the now.

Mindfulness is conscious awareness of the now. And that can take us out of being and feeling expectant. This allows us to see when expectations of the least and the most are happening – and derailing us from making the most of our lives in the only time that’s utterly real – the here and now.

Once we recognize and acknowledge this, we can act via mindfulness to not let expectations – lesser, greater, or otherwise – get in the way of our ultimate goals. Or pull us from the now into the past or future where we have no control at all.

That’s a lot to consider, right?

Can you see how expectations get in the way of the paths we choose?

This is the five-hundred and forty-eighth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

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The post What is it about Expecting Both the Least and the Most from Myself? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.