M.J. Blehart's Blog, page 39

Do You Wait for the Door to Open or Act to Open The Door?

When you act to open the door, you are being mindful.

Photo by Milo Bauman on Unsplash

Life is a constant stream of activity.

Like a flowing stream or river, life is always on the move. So long as we draw breath, we’re in motion.

And that can be extremely overwhelming sometimes.

I know how this feels. Choices and decisions can be scary and exciting at the same time. Some are more uncertain than others, too. But the outcome is seldom completely sure.

Things not of our choosing happen to everyone. That’s life. Each of us comes from a different, unique place, education, experience, social situation, and more. And like it or not – some people have it far easier than others.

But that doesn’t change that we all get to choose. Further, we get to choose with strength or weakness.

Some choices and opportunities will be better than others. Sometimes you need to decide to open the door, while other times the door will open itself.

And by the door, I am referring to the quote by Alexander Graham Bell.

“When one door closes, another opens.”

But I think the complete quote should be shared here.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

I think this quote addresses the nature of choice when it comes to the act to open the door – and the issues that often surround that choice.

Boldly or meekly go into the unknown

It’s funny to me how, as an admin, I’m pretty good at making appointments and maintaining calendars for my bosses.

When it comes to doing this for myself, I’m less diligent and skilled at it.

Calendars and to-do lists give us a point of reference for the future we can use from the present. Some people completely live by this.

And that is part of why and how the unexpected throws some people off so badly. I know people who get so set in their plan that when it goes off the rails, they close off and become increasingly meek and uncertain.

Conversely, I know people who are outstanding at pivoting with change and the uncertain. Doesn’t matter what’s on the schedule or their plan – when it changes, they pivot and roll with it.

I fall between these extremes.

In certain situations, I pivot like this was always my intent. It’s no wonder to me that I’ve always had a flair for improv theatre.

But in other situations, I feel like I’m turned into a yo-yo or a top. Up and down or spinning endlessly, uncertain when it will stop or where, how, etc.

Whatever the case may be – there’s always a choice. Go meekly or boldly with the unknown.

And this is where mindfulness comes into play.

Be mindful and act to open the door – or not

This notion seems very cut-and-dried. But it’s not, because of uncertainty.

If you know the door will open to an amazing opportunity and incredible awesomeness, would you hesitate to open it? I doubt it. Likewise, what if you know that behind the door is a hungry lion? You wouldn’t hesitate to not open it.

Uncertainty means there might be awesomeness or a hungry lion behind that door. Sure, sometimes you know it’s a better chance of one than the other. But sometimes, it’s 50/50 at best.

This is where mindfulness comes in.

Mindfulness is being consciously aware – here and now, in this moment – of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. That conscious awareness lets you better commune with both your subconscious and your ego. When you get down to it, your conscious awareness – mindfulness – is you taking the wheel and doing the driving.

Thus, you choose boldly to act to open the door – or not.

When you make this choice, you are accountable. And that accountability is an element of control to direct your life. Frankly – this is the only true control that you and I can take over our life experiences.

If you find yourself hesitating, mindfulness makes it easier to question why. What’s staying my hand from reaching for the knob and opening this door? Is it fear? Self-sabotage? General uncertainty?

This is also true when the door opens without your action. Do you step through it, or what-if it to death and take no action?

Conscious awareness lets you find an answer – then choose.

Photo by Belinda Fewings on UnsplashForgive yourself if/when you open the wrong door

Nobody is perfect. Or more accurately, everybody is perfectly imperfect.

The future is unwritten. As Yoda so aptly put it,

“Always in motion is the future.”

Sometimes, that door you act to open is the wrong door. Bad things happen, you suffer, and life sucks as a result.

Often, this causes self-recrimination, discontent, self-doubt, and other negatives that can be hard to shake. It also causes more hesitancy when you stand before the next door. Whether you open it or it opens of its own accord.

That’s why you need to forgive yourself when you get this wrong.

Holding onto the pain and resentment of the wrong choice is natural. But how long you allow it to impact you is a choice. Mindfulness is how you can tell if you have been holding onto that sensation too long. Do you feel like you’re punishing yourself for screwing up in the act to open the door you opened? If so – now is the best time to work to forgive yourself and move on.

You need not punish yourself. Forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. But rather than allow them to destroy us, we can choose to use them to build us up and help us grow.

And all of us are worthy and deserving of that.

There are always doors to choose. Be mindful, and even if it’s the wrong door, something right may still lie behind it.

Choosing to act to open the door isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of our thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

When we are faced with a door to the next place our life can go, we get to decide if we will act to open it, wait for it to open, or leave it closed. Knowing that we can decide what to do with this, we can be mindful of where we are coming from as we face the uncertainty – and actively make our choice. That empowers me – and it can empower you, too. We can use this to stay more neutral subconsciously, while consciously choosing things leaning towards the positive end of life’s extremes.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast space that exists between them – I believe shifts the concept in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, we can explore and share where we are between those extremes and how that impacts us here and now.

Lastly, I believe the better aware we are of ourselves in the now, the more we can do to choose and decide how our life experience will be. If that empowers us, it can also open those around us to their own empowerment. And that is, to me, a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this ride with me.

This is the four hundred and twenty-sixth entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Do You Wait for the Door to Open or Act to Open The Door? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

What Does Genuine, Real Productivity Look Like?

Productivity – like beauty and perfection – is in the eye of the beholder.

Photo by Andreas Klassen on Unsplash

There are many days when I don’t feel that I am sufficiently productive.

I know there are several reasons for this.

First – I do not work a standard Monday-Friday, 9-5 job. Truth is, I work anywhere between about 8am and 11pm. Also, I don’t necessarily only work Monday – Friday. There are times I put in some work on Saturday or Sunday, two.

Second – I seldom do “work” for more than 2 hours at a time. Whatever form it takes – writing and editing, content writing or admin actions for either freelance job, marketing, or whatnot – I do it in bits and pieces. A little time here, some time there.

Third – much of the work I do doesn’t “feel” like work. I don’t find myself staring at the clock or out the window, seeking its end. It doesn’t matter if I am writing and editing my own work, recording my podcast, editing/producing other podcasts for work, content writing on other people’s websites, or doing whatever else is required of me.

I’ve done a lot of different jobs, many of which were traditional 9-5 gigs. Over the years, I’ve been a benefits administration agent, tech support, pre-sales support, and similar customer service jobs. I’ve been a paralegal, admin assistant, marketing assistant, and the like. And I have done retail and retail management.

What I do now makes me feel far more satisfied and less stressed. But that doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes question my productivity.

Working from home is both a blessing and a curse

After two-and-a-half years, the COVID-19 pandemic seems to finally be starting to ramp down. Lots of social activities are coming back online, and people are gathering back in groups more and more regularly.

Still, we’re not entirely out of the woods yet. I’m rather optimistic about the direction things are heading – but cautiously optimistic.

For many people, the pandemic shifted them to work from home. That has been both a blessing and a curse.

Admittedly, some people do better in an office environment. Having that space to go to that is not home increases satisfaction, contentment, and productivity.

However, for many – working from home is a blessing. The money they save on their commute, dining out, and the like is great. But even more valuable is the time reclaimed and the ability to be present with loved ones at home.

The pandemic showed a few things to be true. Like how the standard 9-5 shift in an office building – sometimes an hour or more from home – doesn’t increase productivity. Lots of people found they got far more done working from home. But also – in far less time.

This has gone over less well with some managers and others who feel a lack of control when their workers aren’t literally under their noses. I’ve worked for managers like that. They are probably losing their minds if they aren’t returning to their offices.

Just to add insult to injury, the definition of productivity varies wildly in the service industry over the manufacturing industry. This is part of why the 9-5 workday is less applicable to service-industry jobs.

Metrics that service jobs tend to measure are hugely different from how many widgets you can make in an industrial setting. And arguably much more subjective.

Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on UnsplashProductivity varies with perception

For me, working from home is perfect. I have an excellent home-office setup. As a writer, I only need a good computer with fast internet for research and a comfortable space to work. Having remote office jobs like I currently do is why I can work with one company based in Florida (I’m in New Jersey) and another with employees and associates around the world (I have coworkers in the United Kingdom.)

To all intents and purposes, I have 3 jobs. Balancing them can be challenging – particularly as all have no set hours, per se. But it works for me.

So why do I feel like I’m often unproductive?

I get most of my work done in a timely matter. To be fair, there is some ongoing work that needs to be attended to more that sometimes takes a backseat. But I believe my employers are happy with what I am doing.

Last year, when I self-published 6 novels, I felt productive regarding my journey and personal brand work. This year, I am not publishing 6 novels. In fact, at my current pace, I’m publishing 2 in 2022.

Because of the freelance gigs, I am writing and editing less than I’d ideally like. I’m also, admittedly, not taking the time for meditation and journaling that I prefer to set for myself. And that, I suspect, is part of the cause of my feeling that my productivity is down.

But is it?

The reality is that I am productive. But sometimes my time management is iffy. And though I am good at pivoting when one of my gigs demands immediate action – that doesn’t mean I don’t still feel a bit thrown.

What can I do about this?

Mindful productivity

The answer is mindfulness.

The messages that I am unproductive because of my non-standard choices aren’t my own. They are outside influences. Some are direct. Most are indirect. And – often it’s how I perceive others looking at me – rather than any real, actual, factual issues.

Mindfulness is an ongoing, regular activity. When I do not take the time to practice it – my subconscious mind will hip-check me out of the driver’s seat. And I might not even realize I’m no longer driving until I recognize that I’m distracted or otherwise not mindful.

The solution – and I REALLY need to practice this more regularly – is to do mindfulness check-ins with myself. That takes questions like:

What am I thinking?What am I feeling?How am I feeling?Why am I doing what I’m doing?

Each of these questions brings me to this moment in time – the present. That is where mindfulness lets me recognize the what, how, where, when, why, and who of all my thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

More frequent check-ins of this sort will make me more mindful. That will help me see if I am working with adequate productivity required of me – or not. Then adjust accordingly.

What you consider productive for you might not be what I consider productive for me, and vice-versa. Hence my assertion that productivity, like beauty and perfection, is in the eye of the beholder. Every day is a new day, with new potential and possibilities.

How do you approach your productivity or lack therein?

This is the five-hundred and thirty-seventh exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info then click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post What Does Genuine, Real Productivity Look Like? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

What Can I Do to Get Better at Letting Go of Past BS?

We all hold onto things that don’t serve us. Letting go challenges us each differently.

Photo by Sonia Kardash on Unsplash

Over the past month or so, I’ve been focusing more and more on identifying my self-sabotaging behaviors. Thus, I’ve learned that my self-sabotage is born of conclusions I’ve made about myself, other people, and life.

I recognize what these conclusions have been (for me, it’s that I’m not worthy, people are capricious and inconsistent, and that life is an unfair uphill battle). Now recognized, I have acknowledged these conclusions.

They are part of my past. As I’ve learned via lots of different sources, the past is the past. It has happened and cannot be undone, redone, or changed in any way.

So – to move forward in a way that leaves the self-sabotaging conclusions behind, everything must begin in the now. From this moment – and not from any time in the past.

Yes, the past teaches us many lessons both good and bad. But beyond that – we need to leave it in the rearview mirror and move onwards.

One challenge I keep running into with this is letting go of numerous matters from the past. It’s easy to say, “be here now” and “focus on the present.” But I’m only human. And there are things that I have done or that occurred that still bother me. And I find letting go of them difficult.

Hence the question – what can I do to get better at letting go?

It always starts with recognition

One of the slipperiest slopes of the past is that it’s seldom a clear, clean picture. Though I used to believe in the notion that hindsight is always 20/20 – I’ve come to realize that’s not true at all.

Why? Because the past as we believe it to be is utterly colored by us.

My beliefs, values, experiences, biases, prejudices, knowledge, and everything else in my head is going to color my past. How I look at things I did or that occurred outside of my control is colored by all the aforementioned notions.

What does that mean? For example – many years ago, friends I thought I was relatively close to didn’t invite me to their wedding. Nearly all our mutual friends were invited – I was not.

That was years ago. Overall, it’s far in the past and doesn’t bother me. Yet, once in a while, something pops up – like a notice of their anniversary on Facebook – and I am reminded of this.

Why does this still bother me, so many years later? Because I never resolved the hurt. I didn’t address it, I just buried it in my subconscious.

This – along with probably another half-dozen mistakes I’ve made, slights I’ve received, random happenings that went utterly not my way – still bugs me.

I know I’m not alone in this. But that’s not the important thing here. What’s important is that I learn to really recognize what these things are – as well as how and why they get to me.

If I don’t recognize them, I can’t release them.

But there’s a catch. Recognition stands alone. It must be divorced from any need for resolution.

Acknowledgment is the next step in letting go

So, I’ve recognized that this long-past thing still bugs me from time to time. Now what?

Now I need to do what I’m doing here. Acknowledge it.

This is important. Recognition is one thing. But if it’s followed by disregard or chewing on all the “what ifs?” that cannot be – we’re disempowered. So long as we allow past garbage to range from our subconscious to our conscious in a distracting way, we can’t let go.

Acknowledging it is more than just confirming that the thing is recognized. It’s also taking in how it makes me feel and what it makes me think.

Despite the years that have passed – I still feel a sense of hurt and rejection that I was not invited to that wedding. My sense of trust and comfort was eroded.

The award I feel I should have gotten years ago but haven’t? Hurt, anger, frustration, and feelings of being disrespected and disregarded.

That chance I didn’t take? Frustration, anger, self-loathing, doubt, and other ugly less-than-complimentary thoughts and feelings towards myself.

That’s acknowledgment. Beyond recognition of the past thing I find letting go of challenging – acknowledgment is the why. Why can’t I/don’t I let it go? Because of the thoughts and feelings still attached to it.

Subconsciously, I planted a seed. It’s growing slowly – but it’s a deeply rooted poison. Recognition is how I know what it is. Acknowledgment is knowing where I planted it and how it’s impacting the forest of my life.

Now what?

Photo by Deborah L Carlson on UnsplashForgive (myself, mostly)

How does this apply to the things I didn’t do to myself? The wedding I wasn’t invited to or the award I wasn’t given? Because the seed that was planted is tied to my self-sabotaging conclusions.

See how I didn’t get invited or rewarded? Clearly, I’m not worthy. Of course, since people are capricious and inconsistent – there you go. Next time you’ll have to not fu*k up however you did in those past matters as you face the next unfair uphill battle in your life.

That is a lot of ugly. How does letting go of all that hurt and unhappiness work? Forgive myself.

Who I am now is not who I was then. Whether the thing I find letting go of was of my own making or not – I blamed myself via the self-sabotaging conclusions. Whether it was of my making or not – it was. Past. Behind me.

Holding onto the past crates a tether to an anchor. When you drop anchor, your boat might bob along on the waves and drift a bit here and there. But it doesn’t move. That’s true of life. Anchor yourself to the past and you can’t move in the present.

Let alone do diddly about the future.

Recognize the issue. Acknowledge it. Forgive it.

Forgiveness is not forgetting. Lessons learned from past actions and inactions are important to who we are now. But that’s the ONLY important stuff from the past. Because we cannot change it, alter it, redo, or undo it. Period.

Cut the line and release the damned anchor.

How?

Letting go via action

This can be literal or figurative.

For example – I could meditate on this, envision that tether holding me to that anchor made of that past event – and see myself cutting it. A metaphoric but potentially cathartic action.

I could write it out. Put it all down on paper – the whole thing, all the feeling attached to it, and every last detail past and present related to it. Then – tear it to shreds, set it on fire, or do something else literal and cathartic.

Another action would be to act as if. In the now, act as though that thing from the past that bothers you didn’t go that way. Or has been otherwise resolved. Stop acting out the hurt and instead act as if you got what you desired and succeeded. This might be differently challenging because depending on the nature of the issue it might feel like a lie.

Literal or figurative – action sends the subconscious a message that I am letting go of this needless, self-inflicted wound anchoring me to the unchangeable past. The action of letting go in some way frees us from the past and allows us to be in the now.

From here and now, unencumbered by past BS, we can create without the self-sabotaging conclusions having an easy way to reach us. No anchor, no line, no path.

To sum up – what can I do to get better at letting go of past BS?

Recognize what I’m holding ontoAcknowledge what I’m holding ontoForgive myselfAct to literally or figuratively let go

This is proactive, positive, and empowering.

Choosing actions for letting go of past BS isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of our thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

When we apply the above 4 steps for letting go of past BS not serving, self-sabotaging, or otherwise impeding our life progress – we gain a means for letting go. Knowing this, we can apply these steps at will to cut the line keeping us anchored to our unchangeable past and move forward with our choices and actions. That empowers me – and it can empower you, too. We can use this to stay more neutral subconsciously, while consciously choosing things leaning towards the positive end of life’s extremes.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast space that exists between them – I believe shifts the concept in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, we can explore and share where we are between those extremes and how that impacts us here and now.

Lastly, I believe the better aware we are of ourselves in the now, the more we can do to choose and decide how our life experience will be. If that empowers us, it can also open those around us to their own empowerment. And that is, to me, a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this ride with me.

This is the four hundred and twenty-sixth entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post What Can I Do to Get Better at Letting Go of Past BS? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

How Do I Get and Stay Out of My Way More Regularly?

I know that it starts with recognizing what it looks like to get in my way.

Photo by Valentin Salja on Unsplash

Self-sabotage is just one piece of an intricate puzzle.

I am that puzzle. And that is complex because who I am now is both made of and not made of who I was in the past. Then, to complicate that, who I could be can only come from now and not who I was in the past. Lessons learned in the past can be taken to the future – but that’s all.

As I analyze my life here and now, I feel very much like something is in my way. Something is creating an obstruction that I then find myself prone to trip or stumble over.

Yes, as the title says – that something is me, myself, and I.

As my study of the causes of self-sabotage has been rather focused over the past few weeks, I’ve learned new ways to move beyond it. Thanks to Gary John Bishop’s books, I am working with a new perspective and approach.

The short of it is this: The conclusions that I have drawn along the way about myself, other people, and life are the root of how I self-sabotage. Since they are conclusions – and thus, as “conclusion” states, the ending – there’s no point in working to change, alter, or otherwise undo this. They are elements of the past.

Thus, I need to work in the here and now to move forward.

But that’s where the new challenge arises. Here and now – I feel like I am still getting in my way.

What does that even mean?

Let’s use a real goal that I have in mind for myself. I’d like to drop my weight below 200lbs. With that, I’d like to experience the corresponding lessening of my gut and dropping a couple of sizes in the waistband of my pants. All this by my 50th birthday.

It is not unreasonable – and I have just over 5 months, now, to do it. I’m currently 260lbs. To get to 200lbs, that’s 12 pounds a month – which is 3 pounds a week. That’s challenging, but not outside of being doable.

Right. I see the goal. And there are a lot of very good reasons for me to reach it.

I’m tired of this flabby body. It would be nice to take some pressure off my knees. The time to replace essential clothing – boxers and t-shirts – is coming, and I would like to buy them a size or two smaller. I know that this only gets harder as I get older, and I’d like to hit 50 in much better shape physically.

The largest obstacle to this is me.

I know what I need to do. Focus on more exercise. Get back into practicing, actively, the Mediterranean diet habits. Stop eating for comfort. Cut out sugar and cut way back on carbs. Stay a little hungry.

Food has always been a source of comfort for me. And, shame, too. There’s a lot that goes into this, and the history is long and arduous. Despite the desire to change, I get in my way and stay here.

Why am I in my way?

There is a familiarity that breeds contempt. It’s my comfort zone.

I’ve been overweight more-or-less all my life. Why? Probably a defense mechanism of some sort. There is comfort in this familiar and flabby (but also rather muscular, frankly) body.

There is also the added bonus of being special. Yeah, short fat guy here – who can run at times, fences with grace, balance, flexibility, and speed that belies my size. Out-of-shape in appearance – but my resting heart tends to live in the low to mid-60s and my blood pressure is perfectly normal.

There is a freakish sense of comfort in how that makes me special. Like I revel in the abnormality of my existence.

But I know I can be better than this. And if I can get out of my way and tackle this obstacle – I believe I’ll be better able to tackle other obstacles in the paths before me.

It’s funny – on the one hand, I desire deeply to change. On the other hand, I am in my way because a part of me, subconsciously, resists change. And I know that until I act to get out of my way this cycle will just keep repeating.

Like it has for most of my life.

Don’t misunderstand – I am not complaining about my life. Thus far, my life has been amazing on lots and lots of levels. But there has been a recurrent theme of nearly, almost, not-quite-there. And I’m tired of that cycle and know it’s because whenever I can turn from this path to another I get in my way and prevent that.

But why? Fear. Fear of success that masks fear of abandonment that masks my real fear – that my self-sabotaging conclusions have been right all along.

Photo by Armand Khoury on UnsplashSelf-sabotage conclusions

In his brilliant book, Stop Doing That Sh*t: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back, Gary John Bishop suggests that self-sabotage is born of three conclusions made in our lives and held in our subconscious. They center on ourselves, other people, and life.

On analysis, my 3 conclusions are:

I am not worthyPeople are capricious and inconsistentLife is an unfair uphill battle.

Having concluded thusly, I self-sabotage to remain right about these.

Growing up, I got a lot of messages about how people judge you based on your appearance. I still carry that with me, and it ties into the notion of people being inconsistent. Of course, weight loss and getting into shape are constantly up against the notion of life being an unfair uphill battle. And if I have concluded I’m not worthy, then it makes perfect sense to remain here.

That’s no roadblock – it’s just me, in my way, arms crossed and staring me down. Go back the way you came. In fact, take the long road.

Self-sabotage at its finest.

So – how in the hell do I get and stay out of my way? I’ve done it before. How do I do it more regularly?

How do I get and stay out of my way more regularly?

If I had a definitive answer, I presume I’d be doing it. But that’s a defeatist attitude. And as mentioned above – I have done this before. The question is one of regularity.

I know I need to be decisive and take conscious action. Since self-sabotage and getting in my way are subconscious acts – I must be more diligent in being mindful. Consciously aware.

I think that will look something like this:

Be here, now. Start in this moment and don’t begin by rehashing the past and starting from there. Past has passed – and only in the now can I do anything with and for then.Recognize and acknowledge self-sabotage. Don’t ignore them – I can’t. But if I am mindful of them – I can overcome them via conscious awareness.Stay mindful. I need to make the time to go for my walks, get back to the gym, and avoid the chocolate, the pizza, and all the other comfort foods I overindulge in. That’s not to say I should cut them entirely – but I need to make them special, once-in-a-blue-moon treats.Be more mindful. Stick to regular journaling. Track food and exercise. Be an active participant on my path.Forgive the slip-ups. I am going to miss days of exercise, eat like crap, and utterly fail from time to time. If I don’t forgive that – it will put me in my way before I know it. Nobody is perfect – let it go and move on.

Finally – this starts now. Not later, not the first of the month, not tomorrow. NOW. I must commit my conscious awareness to mindfulness – or I know I’ll soon find myself in my way. Again. Then, it must be repeated continually.

Pretty words. Now, time for action.

Do you ever find yourself getting in your way?

This is the five-hundred and thirty-sixth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info then click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post How Do I Get and Stay Out of My Way More Regularly? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

What Are You Doing with Your One Life Experience?

We all get one life experience each in these bodies. What are you doing with yours?

Photo by IIONA VIRGIN on Unsplash

Like it or not – we have a finite time in this existence.

The finite meat popsicles we call our bodies are the vessels that house our infinite souls. The substance may be eternal – but the vessels are not.

Are we here just for basic subsistence? Or is there more to this life experience than that?

I believe that we’re here for more than just survival and subsistence. I believe we’re here to get as much out of this life experience as we can.

That’s not always easy. And we all have bad days. And sometimes, we are reminded of our mortality in numerous, unpleasant ways.

But we all have a choice. Focus on the negative and all that can possibly go wrong, fail, or be fucked up. Or focus on the positive and all that can possibly go right, succeed, or be fucking incredible.

And when we can’t see one side or the other of this flexible cylinder clearly – we can choose what direction to look towards, at least.

Whatever it is – no matter how much it doesn’t look or feel this way – we always have a choice. And that applies to almost every aspect of how we approach our life experiences.

Every day matters

It’s fair to say that everyone has bad days.

Some are utterly circumstantial. Others are our own fault – or a combination of error and circumstance. Some of these are just unpleasant and annoying while others are truly awful and deeply emotional.

Even when we have a truly horrific day – we choose to carry it to the next day or to work on letting it go and releasing it. And while that might take some time for one reason or another – we can still choose to work with that.

It’s easy to have one bad day spiral into a terrible week. Or worse. But most of the time – in my experience, at least – the spiral can be stopped at any time so long as we take action to end it.

How that will look is going to be situationally dependent. What stops one spiral won’t impact another at all. But the effect is going to be the same – we’re empowered to work at it.

What has this got to do with the question – what will you do with your one life experience? Everything.

Every. Single. Day. Is. New. No matter how similar, each and every day is unique in various ways. That’s a result of the only constant in the whole universe – change.

Recognizing and acknowledging this is how we each can choose how we experience everything that happens.

Even a bad life experience has good in it

When bad things happen – they can still do us good.

Getting hit by a car crossing a street and having multiple, severely broken bones is not good. Multiple surgeries to repair the damage are painful and unpleasant. Physical therapy is all about pushing pain limits to expand them. Nerve damage is unpredictable and recovery from it infuriating.

I went through this. First-hand, I can definitively explain that this sucked. To all intents and purposes, I gave a year of my life to all the work that went into recovery.

And I would not be who I am today had this not happened to me. Bad as it was – it made me a better person.

The pain sucked. The scars are not pretty. Having a clavicle made of titanium is odd. But bad as this was – it taught me invaluable lessons I still am learning over 20 years later.

I’ve lost people I cared about. Relationships have crumbled. Friends left. Other shit happened in my life. But for all that bad – I choose to take the lesson and see how what I am doing with my life experience matters most.

And – much as I wish there were more I could do – I can’t change anything for anyone else.

Photo by Majid Sadr on UnsplashMy life experience cannot fix the world

I look at what’s going on in the world around me. The war in Ukraine, hate impacting transgendered kids and families around the country, greedy businesses destroying the planet, and on and on.

And as much as I strive to help people and do good in this world – I can do little to nothing for these bigger issues.

I can boycott terrible businesses, vote in elections, donate to worthy causes, and support good leaders. And that’s about it when all is said and done.

That’s frustrating. Especially in the face of the constant bombardment of information about these world events.

But it comes down to this – the only life I can experience is mine. And even if people are going through awful things – feeling bad about it and not bothering to live my own life experience in the process is utterly counter-productive.

Don’t be a crab

Are you familiar with the crab effect? It’s a psychological phrase for the behavior where a selfish, jealous mindset of a group is used to undermine or stop the progress of anyone else in the group. In other words – I can’t improve my lot, so why in the hell should you?

Have you ever wondered what news media dominated by corporate interests mostly show us things to keep us feeling stuck and disempowered? I think the crab effect is a good explanation.

That’s why we need to recognize and acknowledge our empowerment. So that we can make active choices to take actions with the intent to have an interesting, worthwhile, amazing life experience.

This can feel selfish, self-centered, and otherwise wrong. In the face of crazy-bad world events, isn’t focusing on our life experience egotistical? To be honest – partially. But not in the way you probably think.

You are the only person in your head, heart, and soul. Only you can control how you think and feel. That’s not to say outside influences won’t impact you at times. But in the end – it’s up to you.

How does lamenting world awfulness, or focusing on people, places, and things you cannot control – and choosing to do nothing to get the most you can from your life experience – benefit anyone? It doesn’t. This is counterproductive.

This is why choosing to recognize and acknowledge that you alone can have this one life experience is how you start to really live. Merely survive – or thrive?

Finally – I would argue that empowered people thriving can help lift-up others. By example, by having resources to give, and by offering a beacon of reason and hope in a fear-based society.

Choosing to get the most from our one life experience isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Choosing to work on really experiencing this singular life experience should be a no-brainer. Because unless you think we’re here to merely survive – living and experiencing life is our true purpose.

When we work with what we each have – this one life experience – we can make choices and decisions to be, have, and do more. Knowing this, we choose not to merely survive but to act for our own good to thrive and make the most out of our finite time in these bodies. That empowers me – and it can empower you, too. We can use this to stay more neutral subconsciously, while consciously choosing things leaning towards the positive end of life’s extremes.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast space that exists between them – I believe shifts the concept in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, we can explore and share where we are between those extremes and how that impacts us here and now.

Lastly, I believe the better aware we are of ourselves in the now, the more we can do to choose and decide how our life experience will be. If that empowers us, it can also open those around us to their own empowerment. And that is, to me, a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this ride with me.

This is the four hundred and twenty-fifth entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post What Are You Doing with Your One Life Experience? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Can I Please Stop Second-Guessing and Self-Sabotaging Myself?

I would very much like to be done second-guessing and self-sabotaging.

Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash

Despite the effort I have been making for over a decade to live life on my own terms, choosing my own paths – there is an ongoing challenge I can never seem to shake.

Every path I choose, every approach I take, even when I am being super-mindful – I am second-guessing and self-sabotaging.

Having just finished reading Gary John Bishop’s Stop Doing that Sh*t: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back, I have a much clearer view of the how and why of my self-sabotaging behaviors.

That clarity is great. Now it’s up to me to apply it.

I am going to share this with you now because I believe that might be the best means by which I can stop doing it.

How am I second-guessing and self-sabotaging?

According to Mr. Bishop, self-sabotage comes from conclusions that were made long ago that embed themselves into your subconscious. There, they are rooted – and jam up the works when said conclusions are challenged.

Mr. Bishop asserts that there are three conclusions we draw that becomes the root of self-sabotage.

Conclusion one – the self

Is the root of my self-sabotage based on the long-ago made conclusion that I am unworthy? Do I keep sabotaging myself because what I have concluded about myself is that I’m not worth it? Is that why I sabotage my jobs, my relationships, my health, my everything? Does it all, when it comes to me, boil down to a conclusion made long ago that I am not worthy?

When and why did I conclude that? Probably when dad and mom divorced? That’s the most logical point of origin.

Conclusion two – other people

Okay, other people conclusion. Have I concluded that people are capricious? Judgmental? Volatile? Unreliable? Some combination of all the above? When it comes to my family it is definitely judgmental. But what about the likes of that infuriating acquaintance? Is it more that people are inconsistent?

I think the overall conclusion is that people are capricious. Maybe simpler – people are inconsistent. But it’s somewhere on the above spectrum that my conclusion of what people are lies.

Conclusion three – life

Life conclusion. This one is hard. I am uncertain exactly what it is, but I have worked a long time to avoid it, bury it, and disregard it. Ironically – the opposite of my overall approach to (non-toxic) positivity.

Life is unfair. But that’s not quite it. Life is challenging. Maybe it’s more like life is unreasonable? Or maybe life is painful. Arduous. As I consider the possibilities, I think the conclusion I reached is this: Life is an unfair uphill battle.

It’s not so hard to see these three saboteurs for what they are in this light. If my default conclusions – all negative – are that I am unworthy, people are capricious, and life is an unfair uphill battle? Those deep-rooted beliefs, unattended, keep me repeating the same shit over and over.

All these conclusions I determined after considering what Mr. Bishop’s book shared. As I have sat with and chewed on them for a few weeks, now, I’m convinced these are it.

Here’s the thing – they can’t be altered, changed, or undone. Identifying them is all well and good – but Mr. Bishop says you can’t use them as the basis for change. Because you cannot change from the past to get to the future.

It all needs to begin in the now. This moment. And that means, of course, conscious awareness via mindfulness.

Awesome. Now for the snag.

Photo by Aziz Acharki on UnsplashSecond-guessing and self-sabotaging in the now

Here I am, mindful and consciously aware. And frustrated as all get out.

Why? Because in the here and now I have a broad litany of challenges, issues, and frankly problems.

I had started to write them out – but that is, truth be told, another form of self-sabotage. I am not ignoring them – I can’t. But neither will I empower them by whining about them here.

Here and now, I can recognize and acknowledge how I am engaging with those self-sabotaging conclusions and work from the now, where they don’t live.

Ah, but in the now, their cousin is alive and well: Second-guessing.

I just paused to write in my journal, and as I did, I started to second-guess myself. It went something like this: What if I’m just fooling myself here? Am I truly cut out to be my own brand and make my way as an author/entrepreneur? Is it time I just accept that I am much better off working for someone else and being their number two?

Both part-time jobs I have can be expanded in different ways. Each could, along that way, allow me a modicum of the freedom I desire that is part of what drives me to build my brand as an author.

And if all the second-guessing I’ve shared above isn’t self-sabotaging – and I don’t recognize and acknowledge it as such – I don’t know what is. And worse, if I don’t recognize and acknowledge it I’ll never stop doing it.

The questions above totally play into all three of my delf-sabotaging conclusions. Since I am unworthy, people are inconsistent, and life is an unfair, uphill battle – fuck it.

That’s not just how it reads – that more-or-less exactly what those thoughts above say. Self-sabotage.

I am not my thoughts or feelings

Rereading Gary John Bishop’s Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life, there is a whole chapter dedicated to this notion.

You are not your thoughts.

Tied to that, not only am I not my thoughts – but I am not my feelings, either.

This is important because second-guessing and self-sabotaging originate as thoughts. The brain weasels chittering away, telling me I am unworthy and undeserving, that people are inconsistent, and life is an unfair uphill battle make me feel bad. And that combination of thought and feeling gives them agency in my head.

All of this plays into my subconsciousness. While I could do a deep dive and try to root it out – that’s not all that productive.

Instead, I need to be here, now. Mindful. Consciously aware of my current, conscious thoughts, feelings, and intentions.

Then I need to take action to drive my life. Actions that move beyond the second-guessing and self-sabotaging thoughts and feelings. And starting them here and now, in the present, mindfully, circumvents the subconscious conclusions that cause second-guessing and self-sabotaging.

In the words of Yoda

“Do or do not. There is no try.”

I’ve got this. Recognizing and acknowledging my second-guessing and self-sabotaging behaviors is the key to acting on my own behalf rather than letting them derail me.

While I can’t necessarily stop the second-guessing and self-sabotaging thoughts and feelings, I can leave them behind by taking intentional actions. With mindfulness and by being present in the now, I am empowered to make it so.

Deep breath. I’ve got this. And I will keep getting this.

What do you do when you find that you second-guess or self-sabotage yourself?

This is the five-hundred and thirty-fifth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info then click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Can I Please Stop Second-Guessing and Self-Sabotaging Myself? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Have I Actually Got This – Or Am I Just Fooling Myself?

Believing that you’ve got this is the first step to handling everything we experience.

Photo by Jaco Pretorius on Unsplash

Sometimes the day begins with you waking up excited, anticipating good things to come, and feeling rested. Other times, you begin the day with dread, not looking at all forward to what you have on your plate.

Most often, at least in my experience, you probably begin your day groggy, maybe a little achy, uncertain, and unsure of just what lies ahead for you.

The first is clearly positive, the second negative, and the third neutral – though it might lean toward the positive or negative end of the spectrum. No matter how your day begins – you choose what’s next.

On a Monday morning, the vast majority of people begin their workweek. If you love your job – this is probably a boost in your energy to get going. However, if you loathe your job – this is dreadful and likely makes you feel down. But if you fall somewhere between the extremes – you choose, every day, how to approach it all.

I do not, nor cannot know what lies ahead today. Yes, there are appointments, deadlines, obligations, and the like to be met. However – among those are far more uncertainties.

This is where I get to ask – have I actually got this or am I just fooling myself? This question is just as mindful in the here-and-now as any about thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. And what I believe is going to impact both how I approach and how I handle the day ahead.

Looking back to look ahead

I know, normally I say leave the past in the past. That still applies here.

What I am suggesting here is that you take a look from a broad perspective at your past. Don’t dive in, don’t analyze – just look at where you have been before.

FYI – I am borrowing this from Gary John Bishop’s Unfu*k Yourself – Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life (which I am rereading presently).

When you look back at all of your previous life experiences, you’re going to see from this broad perspective a wide mix. Good stuff, great stuff. Bad stuff, horrendous stuff. Things that just happened both in and out of your control.

There is a single thread that ties all of this together. You did it. And you got through it.

It might have been amazing, or it might have sucked a lot. No matter what it was – you got through it. The horrific breakup, the amazing sunrise over the Grand Canyon, getting fired from that job, getting recognized at that other job – all of it. You got through all the things that happened to you in the past.

You are here. At this moment, you are. Maybe your life is amazing, maybe it sucks, or maybe it’s somewhere in the middle. But looking back, you can see that you have managed to overcome and survive everything tossed your way thus far.

That can be empowering. Especially when – faced with whatever is coming up ahead – you can not just say, but believe – I’ve got this.

I’ve got this. You’ve got this

Maybe you woke up on the right side of the bed today. Perhaps you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Most likely – you just woke up today like you do every day.

Great – welcome to the day. What have you got going on today? Good, bad, indifferent, unknown? How do you choose to face this? Are you scared, excited, intimidated, nonplussed, uncertain, neutral?

It doesn’t matter because this belief can and will direct how you handle this day:

You’ve got this.

Sometimes this feels like utter bullshit. C’mon, really? I’ve got this? Have you seen what I have on my plate?

No, I don’t know what you are dealing with. But I do know this – you are here, now. And you made it through everything good, bad, and indifferent that you experienced up to this point. That tells me that you’ve got this – because you did it before.

And you will do it again.

Let’s address the one snag in this whole narrative.

Photo by Astrid Schaffner on UnsplashAm I just fooling myself?

Everyone encounters obstacles, challenges, and the unexpected in their lives. Doesn’t matter if you are a Jane Doe or an Elon Musk – shit happens that you have little to no control over in the moment that it happens.

And it might seem insurmountable. The challenge is like nothing that you’ve faced prior. And you have no idea, here and now, what on earth to do. How will I get through this one?

I’ve got this? Yeah, right!

But looking back from that broad overview and where you have been before – can you see that you have overcome similar obstacles and challenges in the past? You are here, now – so yes, you have. The bad breakup, the false accusations of impropriety, the situation you diffused before it could blow up in your face – all of it. Big and small, you got through this.

So – am I just fooling myself if I believe that I’ve got this? No.

But that doesn’t mean that you won’t feel that way. Imposter syndrome, the brain weasels chittering away destroying your confidence, the uncertainty making you question everything. Saying “I’ve got this” in the middle of such can feel like a lie.

But you have empirical proof that it’s not. Everything you experienced before -you made it through. You had it then – you’ve got this now.

How do I convince myself?

No matter what you’ve got on your plate today – you can do the following:

Pause. Take a deep breath. Be here, now. Ask yourself,

What am I thinking?What am I feeling?How am I feeling?What am I doing with this and why?

These questions bring you to the present. This makes you consciously aware in the here and now – mindful. That, in turn, empowers you in this moment, right now, to see where you are at. Who, what, how, why, where, and when you are becomes clear.

That clarity also lets you remember that you’ve made it through everything you’ve ever faced before. Thus – you can do it again.

In other words – you’ve got this. And believing that – even when you have doubt – empowers you to actually, factually, have this.

Pause. Question. Recognize. Acknowledge. Be here, now. You’ve done this before even when it wasn’t the same. You can and will do it again. It’s not a lie, you are not fooling yourself – you’ve got this.

Believing that you’ve got this isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

When we take a broad, wide-focused look back at all that we’ve been through in this life – we can see clearly that we made it through everything we’ve dealt with before. Knowing that, even with lingering doubt, we can choose to believe that whatever we face now, we’ve got this. No matter what lies ahead for me today – I’ve don’t it before, I can and will do it again. I’ve got this.

That empowers me – and it can empower you, too. And we can use this to stay more neutral subconsciously, while consciously choosing things leaning towards the positive end of life’s extremes.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast space that exists between them – I believe shifts the concept in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, we can explore and share where we are between those extremes and how that impacts us here and now.

Finally, I believe the better aware we are of ourselves in the now, the more we can do to choose and decide how our life experience will be. If that empowers us, it can also open those around us to their own empowerment. And that is, to me, a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this ride with me.

This is the four hundred and twenty-fourth entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Have I Actually Got This – Or Am I Just Fooling Myself? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Have I Successfully Redirected the Redirect of my Redirection?

Confused? Redirection can be like that. But it’s still massively important to redirect.

Photo by Raphael Schaller on Unsplash

I write a lot about very specific topics.

Mindfulness. Conscious reality creation. Self-awareness. Positivity. And general self-encouragement/self-help concepts, ideas, and notions.

In a nutshell – I write about seeking, finding, and creating new ways to be the best that we can each individually be.

I am not an expert, don’t hold any degrees related to these concepts. I’m a student of life and share my experience as well as my study on these topics.

The main reason I write and share these ideas is that they are all issues I am working on in my own life. What’s more – I know that I’m not alone in this.

All of these notions have evolved. That’s partially because change is the only constant in the universe. I change, you change, weather changes, times change – it’s ineffable. Because of the inevitability and constancy of change – the ideas I explore and share change, too.

More than once, I’ve taken a whole new approach. Other times, I’ve just made a change or two. And then – from time to time – I redirected what I was doing.

Why is redirection different? Because rather than changing an element of what I’m already doing or trying to rework what I am already working on – redirection is a new and different approach. It’s taking a new angle, doing something different.

Here’s the thing – I’ve written about this before. And I have redirected a redirect more than once. However – the question now before me is – did I truly redirect myself? Or just call it that, while trying for the umpteenth time to achieve the same thing?

The definition of insanity

I’m rather fond of this quote, generally misattributed to Albert Einstein (instead, it’s from author Rita Mae Brown),

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

How many times can I try to make certain changes in my life experience before I realize that I am doing the same thing over and over again?

Redirection? Sometimes. But it turns out, more often than not, I haven’t chosen a truly different, new path. Nope. Instead, I’ve altered my approach, maybe. Or shifted an element in a partial redirection.

What’s the difference? Until recently, I couldn’t properly define this. But what it looked like to me was this: I have tried to get to point ‘b’. I am at point ‘a’. The straight line isn’t getting me from here to there. Redirect. Now, I’m adding a couple of lefts and a right, swinging by point ‘c’, and altering my approach to get to point ‘b’.

Why isn’t that redirection? Because I am still starting my approach from point ‘a’. And that is where the problem of redirecting my redirection is.

You can’t redirect when you start out wrong

It has recently come to my attention, as I am studying self-sabotage more closely, that the way I redirected my redirect requires some real redirection.

What on Earth does that mean? Thanks to Gary John Bishop’s Stop Doing that Sh*t: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back, I have a new idea about actual, factual redirection. If you are starting from the wrong point, you can’t truly redirect yourself.

Let me be blunt. ‘Point A’ is not who, what, where, how, and why I am today. In this moment. Nope. ‘Point A’ is in the past.

That’s the first part of the problem. Starting from who I was – even just a few days ago – means I am starting with all the conclusions I have reached about myself, as well as beliefs, values, and habits that are subconscious and may or may not have been addressed.

Every attempt to redirect, be redirected, or choose a redirection that I have made up to this point is predicated on a past matter. I am trying to not be who I was, where I was, or what I was doing in the work to become someone or something new.

Confused? Let me clarify this further. If I begin a journey from the past – I am bringing all the things of that past with me. I think a great summary of this is a quote from They Might Be Giants:

“If you’ve a date in Constantinople she’ll be waiting in Istanbul.”

Starting from the past is like trying to get from ‘point A’ in 1922 Philadelphia to ‘point B’ in 2022 Philadelphia. The roads might not exist anymore, or there might be new obstacles. And while you might arrive where you intend, it sure looks like the long, winding way to me.

Photo by Vitamina Poleznova on UnsplashI cannot redirect my future from the past

Can you change the past? Is there any possible way to redo the past, undo it, or alter it? No.

Lots of people want to return to the past in one way or another – but that’s impossible. So how come we try to create our future by starting from an unchangeable past? Can you see the lack of logic in that?

I haven’t. Not for most of my life. I’ve long recognized that the past could not be changed or altered and that I can’t redo it, undo it, etc. Yet it is from the past – and trying to change who I was and who I’ve been – that I’ve been attempting to create the future of my life that I most desire.

The future is now because the past has gone. It has passed. Did I learn anything from it? That’s the only thing that matters here.

To truly choose to redirect my redirection, I must begin NOW. Today. This moment of time and who, what, where, how, and why I am.

Self-sabotage, as Mr. Bishop points out, is a product of past conclusions reaching their icy hands from the depths of the subconscious to hold onto all they have concluded. The best – and possibly only – way to not self-sabotage is to start out in a place those conclusions aren’t.

Since they are of the past – that means now is the starting point.

Not the end, the beginning

It is time for me to redirect my redirection in a way I have never redirected before.

This is unfamiliar territory. But that’s only because it’s somewhere I’ve never gone before. No time like the present to start down that path.

And it’s not a single, funerary path. It’s a way I see from this point, this moment I am in here and now, to travel. If I choose to do so.

And that is what true, real, actual factual redirection is. Not a different route – a wholly new path. But to redirect my redirection, there’s a lot of bullshit and confusion to work from.

Plus – this will take some time and work. Because I must make a very conscious effort to start here and now – rather than from the past like I always have before.

I’m a little scared – but I am far, far more excited. Have I successfully redirected the redirect of my redirection? Only time will tell.

How do you see this idea for redirecting redirection from your own experience?

This is the five-hundred and thirty-third exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info then click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Have I Successfully Redirected the Redirect of my Redirection? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Why Can Rethinking Be Applied to Anything and Everything?

Rethinking is vital to self-awareness, change, and life overall. It’s also applicable to positivity.

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

On Monday, February 4 of 2014, I saw something that distressed me. Across social media – Facebook and Twitter specifically – negativity. Lots, and lots of negativity.

People were seemingly just miserable. Lamenting the start of the workweek, stressing out about deadlines and expectations, and utterly unhappy and negative overall.

That got me thinking. What, if anything, can I do to help? Is there some way I can inject some positivity into this bleak landscape?

At this point, I had been sharing my Pathwalking philosophy weekly for just over 2 years. The self-made challenge to do more writing regularly had been met. But I could do more.

Thus, I sat down, and I wrote the first-ever Positivity post. And this has been my weekly project for over 8 years.

What started as an idea to help people move away from expressing negativity has evolved quite a lot. In part because my writing has evolved. Hell, that first post written more than 422 weeks ago is formatted quite differently than my articles are now.

But more than that – my understanding of and approach to positivity as a semi-tangible abstract has changed considerably.

I am always learning. And I read a lot. Also, I do a great deal of self-analysis and work on mindfulness practices. Thus, I am often rethinking things.

Positivity falls into this category. And the current book I am reading is causing a tremendous amount of rethinking on my part.

Before I get into this – let’s explore the concept of rethinking.

Nothing in life is set in stone

A lot of people have trouble accepting this idea.

You have a belief or value. It’s been with you for so long you can’t necessarily trace it to its origin. And it’s rooted deep in your subconscious. Under normal reflection and examination, it has always been and always will be, far as you’re concerned. Might as well be set in stone.

Odds are – it has not been there forever. The belief or the value you cling to was formed somewhere deep in the past – possibly in your young adulthood, but also quite possibly much earlier in your childhood. Because it exists mostly in your subconscious mind – as far as you’re concerned it simply is and always has been.

But when you do dive into your subconscious via mindfulness and your present, conscious awareness, you’ll likely discover that this belief or value you think is set in stone isn’t even remotely so. It may even be something that consciously, in the light of day, you don’t hold to.

Some people hit this and become open to pivot. Others double down, dig in deep, and hold the line because that’s what they know – and they can’t or won’t adapt.

Rethinking is all about adaptation. You see this thing – be it tangible or intangible – and rather than think of it as you always have – you give it a new thought. Take a new approach. Look at it with fresh eyes, literally, metaphorically, and sometimes both.

Even if you actively work on rethinking – you might choose to stick with what you already believe or value. Or you might make no choices at all. Or maybe you blame someone or something for the cracks in your reality you encounter. It’s always a choice.

Now I’d like to share my current rethinking process.

Rethinking can be painful – but only at first

Recently, I downloaded Gary John Bishop’s Stop Doing that Sh*t: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back. I read his Unf*k Yourself at some point a couple of years ago. And I’ve written about my struggles with self-sabotage multiple times over the years.

I wanted to take a new look at this, so I started to read. And holy shit – this has been a real eye-opener.

Mr. Bishop offered insight into the main saboteurs one might encounter in this life. And it’s been a real kick in the head for me. I’m at a very interesting point in the book – but I already highly recommend it if you deal with self-sabotage or imposter syndrome or anything else of the like.

Mr. Bishop makes no apology for his dislike of positivity. In fact, he calls it “a fucking disease spreading through society like wildfire.”  He goes on to add, “the addiction to it (positivity) crushes everyone else who isn’t quite so effortlessly sprinkled with the magic yay-dust.”

Despite my being a longtime proponent of positivity – as evidenced in 8+ years of writing about it – I am not offended by Mr. Bishop’s perspective. Hell, I agree with the fundamentals of it. Though he doesn’t call it out – he’s mostly writing about toxic positivity. “I’ve also met far too many positivity-heads who become so encumbered by their sugary goodness that they ignored or lived in complete denial of the gravity of their situation. Until it was much too late.”

Frequently I write about how toxic positivity is harmful in its denial of negativity. I agree with Mr. Bishop completely here. But his overall perspective on this topic, past the toxic elements, is causing me to do some rethinking.

Photo by Japheth Mast on UnsplashWhat am I thinking about now?

The topic of positivity is not simply thinking and feeling positive. It’s a whole approach to life. At least, it has been for me.

Yet I know that for some people – this doesn’t work. In some instances, it’s a diagnosable psychological matter. In others, it simply runs counter to them.

What’s more – as I’ve been exploring for a while now, positivity and negativity are on opposite ends of a flexible cylinder. Most of us exist somewhere between them – and they are constantly moving.

Realistically, we are often in a more neutral place via our subconscious mind.

What am I thinking? I am thinking that maybe it’s time to readdress my take on positivity. Perhaps it needs to be given a clearer approach based on our conscious and subconscious selves.

One thing I’m rethinking here is that it might be more realistic to strive for subconscious neutrality or indifference. To accept my place near the center of that cylinder – with less emphasis on positivity versus negativity.

When it comes to conscious awareness – mindfulness – it’s how I approach things from where I am now on the cylinder. Strive for positivity over negativity in what I am consciously doing. Choose what I give my attention to and work to not focus on the negatives.

What that amounts to is not allowing myself to fall down negativity rabbit-holes and stay neutral most of the time – while making conscious choices towards positivity like not talking shit about people and steering clear of what makes me feel negative – and accepting myself, warts and all.

How is this rethinking on my part? In this case, it’s about greater clarity. Mr. Bishop’s book is giving me new concepts that are sparking rethinking on multiple topics – positivity included. Rethinking is vital to self-awareness, change, and life overall.

Rethinking isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

When we are open to the possibility that how we think about something might not be set in stone, we open ourselves to rethinking. When we choose to work on rethinking anything at all – we open ourselves to new ideas, change, growth, and all sorts of potential and possibilities. That empowers me – and it can empower you, too. And we can use this to stay more neutral subconsciously, while consciously choosing things leaning towards the positive end of life’s extremes.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast space that exists between them – I believe shifts the concept in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, we can explore and share where we are between those extremes and how that impacts us here and now.

Finally, I believe the better aware we are of ourselves in the now, the more we can do to choose and decide how our life experience will be. If that empowers us, it can also open those around us to their own empowerment. And that is, to me, a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this ride with me.

This is the four hundred and twenty-third entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

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The post Why Can Rethinking Be Applied to Anything and Everything? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

How Might My Life Look When I Reach That Goal?

The answer to this question is key to the conscious creation of the goal.

Photo by Khamkhor on Unsplash

This moment is the only true moment in time.

The now, the present, the here-and-now – this is the only time that is really, truly, real. The past has come and gone. The future is never certain. In the words of Yoda,

“Always in motion is the future.”

Most of us suck at living in the present moment. There is no fault for this, nor blame – it’s just the truth. We don’t recognize that right now, this precise moment of time is the only truly legit and real time.

Why? Because the past is colored by our experiences, biases, prejudices, environments, and numerous other factors. Likewise, the future is often massively uncertain and will be impacted by lots of unknowns along the way. For example – a global pandemic, pointless war, inflation, and so on.

That doesn’t mean that we can’t learn lessons from the past. We really, really should. (Maybe if we did, we’d stop making some of the same mistakes over and over and over again). But that’s beside the point.

Similarly, it’s good to make plans and have goals for the future. These give us the drive and desire to find and/or create change. They open the way to direct our lives and take control over what we can of them.

But therein lies a problem. So long as the goal is in the future – and we approach it as such – it will stay there.

Why does it matter if the goal stays in the future?

Have you ever set a time in the future that you would do a thing? And have you attached that thing to a specific goal? Like you’d take a cruise if you lost 20 pounds, buy a new car if you quit smoking, treat yourself to a spa day if you cleaned the garage, and so on?

Sometimes incentives of this nature can spur us into action. Other times, they can make the goal more unreachable.

The problem with or without the incentive is setting the goal in the future. Specifically, seeing the goal as coming, not yet here, on the way, and so on.

This creates a tightrope of a sort to walk. Yes, having a goal to reach can be great. But when it’s always ahead, and always in the future – that’s the place you’ve made it live.

Consciousness creates reality. What we believe is what we experience in life. When we see ourselves as incapable, limited, and similar negatives – that tends to be what we get.

This might seem like a whole bunch of hooky-spooky mumbo-jumbo. But in my experience – it’s still true.

For example – when I was recovering from injuries after getting hit by a car crossing a street 22 years ago, I didn’t see myself as “healing”. Nor did I attach any time to my recovery. Nope. I only saw myself completely healed, unbroken, and as capable as I was before my accident.

It was never ahead or in the future – as far as I was concerned, it simply was. Period, end of story.

I’m convinced that in addition to having amazing doctors and therapists, this was why I healed as swiftly and completely as I did. I lived for the moment with my future goal already achieved in my mind, body, and soul.

Bring the future to the now

That wasn’t the only time I consciously created my reality in this way. There were other times in my life when I saw the goal I desired to achieve as already reached.

This has applied to relationships, acquiring a car when I couldn’t realistically work out how that would be possible, and other minor and major events.

If I had not done it before, if I have not seen this with my own eyes – I’d call shenanigans. No way does this garbage work.

Except that I know for a fact that it does.

The problem with this is that to many people, it seems like bullshit. You can’t live in a future that’s not real.

It’s not bullshit. You can make it happen. If you choose to do so.

Photo by Ameer Basheer on UnsplashMake it happen

There are 7 important things to acknowledge about how we can bring the future to the now and make a goal that’s truly ahead of us be present in our heart, head, and soul here and now.

This can be only about you. You have zero control of anyone or anything else. Thus – much as it would be great – world peace is right out.This is not selfish. Yes, it’s all about you – but since your intent should be to do no harm, it’s not selfish of you to work on this goal.You must wholeheartedly desire this. Deeply. Intensely. Not “it would be great if” or “wouldn’t it be nice if” – but wholly, totally, fully, gung-ho intentional. Damn the torpedoes full speed ahead!No exceptions. No second-guesses. Zero maybes. This is how it will be. You must envision it with that degree of clarity to make it so.Release doubt and fear. When you feel doubt or fear creep up on you, they must be released immediately. If not – they will derail you and pull the goal out of your grasp. You will have moments of doubt and fear – but in those moments release them without hesitation.Keep it to yourself. There is nothing wrong with sharing the goal as intended. But every step of the way – let it simply be. Because this tends to make people call shenanigans and bullshit on the process – unintentionally they’ll derail you. Just do it – don’t discuss it in detail.Surrender to the Universe. Last but not least – accept it as done. Surrendering to the Universe can be challenging because it feels like letting go of control. But it’s not. It’s allowing the needful to occur.

All of these are key to making the goal of tomorrow the reality of today.

How might my life look when I reach the goal?

Before you set any of this in motion – the question should be asked and answered.

Otherwise – how can consciousness create the reality if you’ve no idea what it might look like?

The thing is – it can’t be utterly detailed and specific. Why? Because it’s possible that as good as you can envision – you might get better.

So – how might my life look when I reach the goal? For me, this is the answer to the question.

I am financially secure.My financial security allows me to give more to worthy causes, as well as help my friends and loved ones.The books and blogs I write help many, many people. They make their lives better. Creatively, mindfully, or both.I guest on multiple podcasts.People want me as a speaker at conventions and other events – online or in person.I find new ways to help make other people’s lives better.Every day offers new potential and possibilities – and I create freely.

Yeah, it’s both specific and vague. But this goal is not my life at this moment. Partially, to be sure. But not quite there.

And that’s the real issue. Partially, but not quite. I desire to move past not quite to YES.

How? If I knew that I’d be there now.

What I do know is that I have the power to take my goal and pull it from nearly arrived at to viewed from being here, with it, now.

The goal remains in the future so long as I leave it there, ahead of me. But by working consciously with the here-and-now – it’s possible to make it real. Now. I’ve done it before – so I can do it again.

No time like the present to begin.

How would your life look if you saw your goal for the future in the now?

This is the five-hundred and thirty-third exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

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The post How Might My Life Look When I Reach That Goal? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.