Evan Sanders's Blog, page 54

For Those Pursuing Dreams

It’s a surprising feeling, not needing any reason to go back to the past and clean things up. I’m reaching a point in my life where I’ve done so much relentless work in the land of what happened that I am literally finding myself planted more often in what is going on right this instant.

It’s liberating.

It’s freeing.

At times though, for me writing, it can be a little nerve-wracking as I sit down at my computer to type away about what I’m learning. Sometimes in all honesty, it doesn’t even come to me until I start writing. Sometimes, it’s about what I am learning right this second.

So what’s here in me right now?

After having written the other day about the reemergence of this deep seeded instinct that has been caged up for a while, I felt it come out to play more and more throughout today. What was this instinct whispering into my ear?

Trust your gut.

I think at times we can get stuck in a place of seeking out the advice of others continuously over trusting what is deep inside of us. I’m not saying that getting guidance is a bad thing – I am a life coach after all – but I always make sure that I am having a gut-check moment to see if I really vibe with that advice I am being given. Today, I had one of those moments and said to myself, “This has been amazing advice, and it has taken me far, but where I am at now and what I want from this needs to be based off of my faith that it is the right thing to do…and if it doesn’t work out, at least I can say I did it while trusting myself.”

So there it was…click…the topic really just came to me for this evening.

Trust.

How important is it to trust in yourself? Coming from someone who lost all capacity to trust in himself a while back, I know that being able to have the personal integrity and action to back it all up is one of the most important things there is out there. Without that, who are you really? Nobody…just a box of words. But with that faith and the following actions, you could be anyone or anything. Really…I’m serious about that.

You could transform your entire world over time. You could build something you’ve always wanted to build. You could release yourself from your past and start actually living for once. That’s possible. That could be your story if you really wanted it to be that way. The problem is, most people don’t want to do the work that is involved in taking control of their life.

Your change…the biggest way you are going to change…all lives in the tiny details. When I start seeing people take serious pride in the details of their life, I know they are serious about the work that is ahead of them. But when you are giving everything a once over you aren’t really that serious. You are getting by. You are doing just enough to get what you need out there…out.

You can win from this place…but you’ll be far from achieving that legendary status you wish for yourself.

Jerry Rice once said, “Today I will do what others won’t so tomorrow I can do what others can’t.”

I think that’s an incredibly powerful quote and something to really be thought upon when you’re diving into a life of personal development. Like your body, your mind and your soul deserve the same amount of training. Do the work. Sure, not all of it is fun – but is it really all supposed to be? Life isn’t one big party all the time – sometimes you are going to have to get your hands dirty and really get down to business.

When you commit to excellence, you aren’t only looking at one area of your life…you are looking at the whole entire thing. You grow and grow and grow and are never finished because you know there’s so much more to learn. Your ego doesn’t get in the way to make you think that you are the best thing known to man. Just never settle for what you know now and never stop learning. How cool would it be to live a life where you were always relevant and always on the field learning new things? I think that would be pretty amazing.

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” – Paulo Coelho

Saying all of this, where am I tonight?

I’m in a place of gratitude as well as in a place of feeling a deep fire within getting lit. I’ve been functioning on a pretty good level these days in terms of what I’ve been creating, but in assessing where I am at today and what I’ve been up to, I know there’s much more that I am capable of. When I say this, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I am adding 10 more things to my to-do list. Rather, it means that I’ve looked at the way I am doing things and understand that there are better ways I can go about my day to get what I need to get done in the most productive way…the way that guarantees my longevity in this space and gives the greatest chance to success.

Always adding more doesn’t guarantee you success.

A much healthier way is understanding what you do brilliantly well…and do that as best as you can. Then, surround yourself with others who can help you bridge the gap of what you cannot do or what you need help on.

Best piece of advice I can give you.

So what are you capable of? How can you take what you are doing now and do it better?

More importantly…what are you going to give the world?

-Evan Sanders

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Relentless

Crack!

I heard it. It was as loud to be as a gunshot going off. I felt my elbow pop and I knew, instinctively, that my baseball career was over. My arm hung limp by my side and I remember my head coach coming out to the mound to ask me what was wrong. I had been pitching throughout the entire season with an arm that was barely holding up for whatever reason and this was a moment of my “comeback” after taking 6 weeks off to heal. I couldn’t throw anymore. I could barely even keep my arm by my side. I handed him the ball, walked off the mound, headed into the trainers room and sat there devastated.

I would play a couple more years before the final nail was in the coffin, but there was something about that moment my senior year of high school where I just knew it was going to be a matter of time until I had to hang the cleats up.

That intuition ended up being right on the money, as it usually is, and I had to walk away from the sport I loved.

This post isn’t really about baseball though.

This post is about something that happened to me inside when I lost baseball.

When my arm cracked, I lost trust in something that I always had – my killer instinct.

Ever since I was little, I’ve had this incredibly competitive killer instinct where I could be put into any high pressure situation and I felt deep inside that “I got this.” When my elbow fell apart and I lost the main expression of that killer instinct, that deeply rooted competitive drive, something in me tamed. It’s like I got put into a cage. The lion in the cage still has that instinct that it had out in the wild, but as long as it remains in the cage, it will travel the path of being a tamed beast.

Throughout the years, I’ve been traveling down a path, for the most part, of uncovering things that have always existed in my life as a piece of me instead of building or tacking them on. I’ve discovered parts of myself in full that I had seen glimmers of in the past but never really saw them all the way through for what they were. As I continued on this journey, those glimmers turned to sparks and from time to time they would ignite into full blown forest fires. It’s not uncommon for things to be traveling along at a meandering pace (or what feels like it) in my life and then all of the sudden things are engulfed in flames – in a rather good way.

What started to develop over the course of many years was the reemergence of belief and faith in my abilities. To be completely honest, the events of life piled up on me way back then and I did arrive at a time where I really did break. I slammed into rock-bottom so hard I bounced twice. It always surprises people to hear that the story before this story was written wasn’t always like this. It was chaos. Absolute chaos for a vast majority of my life. Internal tornados reigned supreme and tore everything up that got in their path. Not exactly the best way to be living.

But I lived that way. Since I lived that way, I know how to connect with others on that level.

Coming out of that though…and honestly, it feels like within the last year that I’ve actually broken free from that old story (surprising being 5 years into this huh?) I’m clearly seeing that there were specific events in my life that changed things. That comes as absolutely no surprise to me because I understand better than anyone else that life can life you when it has the chance. So despite feeling that there are some things in the unfinished business category standing at 26 years old looking at myself right now, I get that I have an endless supply of opportunities to  continue creating for myself new stories. New ways of living. New efforts.

I have the ability to be relentless.

I’m learning every single day. But what am I really really learning? I’m learning just how much of an impact my past and the story that dictated my life before this one that I am living right now shaped and molded the things that I have to deal with on a daily basis. It would be silly for me to tell you that you can’t just start over brand new like nothing ever happened. Nope. Not the case. You can start to write a new story for yourself…but like it or not, you’re going to have to bring out the cleanup crew to help you dismantle the old habits, work with the thoughts and emotions, and spend some time digging into this place where most of your greatest lessons live.

That’s the reality of it.

Some days are going to be a struggle. Some days you are going to hurt bad because things popped up and it caused something inside of you to burn. That’s ok. Honestly, it’s fine for that to happen. It happens to everyone. But building walls and pretending like it never did happen, that’s when you’re setting yourself up for danger. That’s when things get really messy.

But you have to retain that instinct. You have to be willing to 100% your gut and function out of a place where you just know what to do instead of sitting back and being paralyzed by analysis all the time. I’ve been there. What made me struggle even more in this place is a grand debacle down in Los Angeles which just undermined my confidence even more. It took me a long time to let that go.

So where does this all land me right now?

There was a time years back where I would stand on the mound, cool, calm, collected but with a relentless burning desire inside of me to carry out my mission with everything I was capable of. It was a raging fire. It was beyond passion. I didn’t care about a thing in the world when I was up there. The only thing that mattered to me was pounding the zone with what I had that day and taking care of business.

And there’s that caged lion again…pacing…waiting for the moment to be let out. Waiting to be given the chance to function on instinct again. He’s always had it. It never left him. Just waiting…

All he has to do is push the door open…realizing the whole time it has been unlocked

-Evan Sanders

Interested in what life coaching could do for you? If you’re in a place where you are stuck or finding yourself wanting more for yourself but not sure of which way to go, let’s talk. All you have to do is email me at aykmecoaching@gmail.com and we will set up a time to chat and see if we are a good fit to work with each other. No catch. No obligations. I’m here to help you change your life. So don’t wait another minute and email me. Take the leap.

If you’re ready to commit to coaching on the other hand, check out the options below.

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The Callings

“Bruce had me up to three miles a day, really at a good pace. We’d run the three miles in twenty-one or twenty-two minutes. Just under eight minutes a mile [Note: when running on his own in 1968, Lee would get his time down to six-and-a half minutes per mile]. So this morning he said to me “We’re going to go five.” I said, “Bruce, I can’t go five. I’m a helluva lot older than you are, and I can’t do five.” He said, “When we get to three, we’ll shift gears and it’s only two more and you’ll do it.” I said “Okay, hell, I’ll go for it.” So we get to three, we go into the fourth mile and I’m okay for three or four minutes, and then I really begin to give out. I’m tired, my heart’s pounding, I can’t go any more and so I say to him, “Bruce if I run any more,” —and we’re still running-“if I run any more I’m liable to have a heart attack and die.” He said, “Then die.” It made me so mad that I went the full five miles. Afterward I went to the shower and then I wanted to talk to him about it. I said, you know, “Why did you say that?” He said, “Because you might as well be dead. Seriously, if you always put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it’ll spread over into the rest of your life. It’ll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you. A man must constantly exceed his level.” – Story about training with Bruce Lee

The answers have been there for a while now. These aren’t answers in terms of final answers, but ones that came in regards to next steps. I’ve heard a few callings as of this past year, but these ones go way back to a couple of years ago. What it really comes down to is this – no matter how much I tried to pass off some of the events that occurred a couple of years back, I can’t. What came out of those events significantly and permanently altered the course of my life. While I started moving in the direction I was shown, I wasn’t moving that fast. There was still a lot of doubt and wonder…all of which is completely fine…but the end result was calling for a deep commitment to running on faith.

That’s really hard to do at times when you’ve been programmed your entire life to work in different ways.

Faith doesn’t have a specific ROI, or a business plan, or include 10 pages of excel spreadsheets to explain the process of what is about to happen. Faith may help you create those things out of whatever comes your way idea wise…but the primary driver stands on its own.

These callings are the biggest ones and that’s why I have struggled so much to really answer them. If I’m going to go back up to the story above with Bruce Lee…these callings are plateau busters and will take me to the level that I need to be. I can’t stay here any longer. I have that deep internal pressure to make the changes that I know I’ve needed to make for some time now.

It’s not about falling into complacency – honestly that’s the last thing that’s going on in my life at this moment. It’s about taking the final last step that needs to be taken to complete what has been asked of me. It’s about the final part of the answer to my question “How can I serve the world?” I guess, for a while now, I’ve put the pen down and finished the sentence where it was…instead of how it could have been…just the way it was asking to be written down.

We all have that power – to stop short.

We possess the ability to only put so much out there and fall into the world of good enough because it stands up to the standards of others – or even to the comfortable standards we have for ourselves. But this place of comforts never been known to be a place that produces incredible things.

I want to create incredible things. Things that knock peoples socks off. Things that change peoples lives for the better. Things that help heal and contribute to the mission of those who are willing to chase their dreams. I want to help, not take.

These callings are, like I said, the most profound things that have ever shown up in my life. They instantaneously changed everything all at once. They didn’t just show up and ask to be seen…they demanded to be understood and acted upon. As time has gone on, not one has diminished in strength of purpose.

Time to force myself out of my comfort zone.

Time to answer.

-Evan Sanders

Line In The Water

How wondering it would be to enter into the last moments of your life and know, really know, that you always kept your line in the water…

There’s something different about today. I felt it the moment I woke up. When I went to the gym, and sat down on my quads and looked to connect with the room, I didn’t feel the same. Orange did not come out and crash throughout the room like it usually does. Purple did not make a rare showing by covering the ground and diving deeper than the floor. No…it was yellow…and it was seeping from me, slowly, steadily, and with intention.

Yellow.

Yellow…

There’s never been yellow before.

The day goes on.

Don’t play it safe. Take chances. Love your heart out. Don’t fall into the trap of “well what if this happens later…” Most of the time, it doesn’t happen. Don’t be afraid of missing out, the greatest show of your life is going on right now. Let the people who left go and if they come back…great – but you may be different. Your life may be different…and that’s totally fine. Don’t worry so much about the bad things that might happen, instead, think of all the amazing adventures you could have. What if you finally making that decision to really go for it changed everything. What if it all clicked? What if you fell deeply, madly, passionately in love with yourself, another, and the life you’re living…just because you decided to stop playing it safe? Wouldn’t that be amazing? I think so. 

I wrote that above on my Instagram a few hours ago…and that’s what ended up striking me tonight. That’s what I want to write about this evening.

For me, having my “line in the water” is much more about simply throwing the bait in there hoping to catch something. When I’m fishing, there’s nothing else around me. There’s me, the line, the rod, and the flows of the river. I’m in the zone…in fact, so in the zone that I can feel when a fish is about to strike. There’s this feeling in your hands that you can’t describe. It’s this perfect harmony between anticipation and readiness for what is to come. You aren’t completely certain in a logical way that a fish is going to strike…but then again, you are certain.

Today though brought something out in me that I haven’t experienced before. This may sound weird to you, but I came to a place to day of having a sense of urgency around an idea and situation where I went “I can’t let this opportunity pass by because I just can’t. I need to see this through with all the certainty in the world.” Truth is, for the longest of times I had been constantly seeking and grasping and trying to bring things into my life instead of taking another way. The moment I found my purpose was the moment that all these things started to click for me and helped me relax into what is going on right now. I didn’t have to go into the future because I realized I could be all of those things I ever wanted for myself right now. When that happened, I began to attract different things into my life and everything changed. Changed in the sense that things that had been covered up for years and years uncovered themselves. Now, I’m at a place where I see what I have right now and know that it’s time to take another leap. Another risk. Although it may seem like a risk, in all honesty, it’s living in that land of uncertain certainty.

My gut is telling me yes.

My instincts are urging me to move ahead.

I don’t know what it was about today, but all those butterflies that were zipping around in me started to fly in formation. They came together in what seemed like a 30 minute time span all right at the end of the day.

It’s been a while for me to be able to say that I needed to head forward in a specific direction on such instinct in some time. I’ve had examples in the past that felt somewhat like today, but not entirely. Not completely. Not like today. Something in me today released and it really felt like it was gone. I can’t put a name to it specifically, but I knew it left. Funny thing is, whatever disappeared or exited made room for something else…certainty in such an uncertain world.

So here’s to risk.

Here’s to living life with my life in the water.

-Evan Sanders

The Story Of The War Painter

The story of the war painter is about going into the darker parts of life and being able to create something beautiful from what many people cannot handle in the first place. The War Painter goes to the places that no one else goes and allows whatever is there to pass through his “filter” and present itself out onto the canvas. It’s his perspective and ability to move/shift emotions that gives him the skill of taking the negative and transfer it into the positive.

Today’s video blog is all about how to effectively and successfully work with your negative emotions. Instead of running from them, blocking them out, or pretending they don’t exist…get skilled in allowing them in, accepting them as they are, and becoming curious about what they are trying to teach you.

-Evan Sanders

For email coaching click here: http://btrman.me/1Hy8ZOk

For 1-on-1 phone or Skype coaching click here: http://btrman.me/1Hy93h1

For fully customized 3 – 6 month coaching programs click here: http://btrman.me/1JkS2ET

To purchase my recently published book “Two Wolves” click here: http://btrman.me/1CKn7oE

Appreciate my work? Love for you to donate by clicking here http://btrman.me/1CKn6RJ

The Flashcard Secret

One of the best ways to keep learning is to do something every single day. But when we read, we end up highlighting, pondering over the information for a while, and then pretty much forgetting what we had learned. We don’t retain that much information from what we read. How do you bridge that gap?

When you are reading, create flashcards for yourself with phrases and things that you learned every single day that really stand out to you. Then, go through these every single day and you will constantly remind yourself of what’s important.

Evan Sanders: AYKME Life Coaching aykmecoaching@gmail.com

For email coaching click here: http://btrman.me/1Hy8ZOk

For 1-on-1 phone or Skype coaching click here: http://btrman.me/1Hy93h1

For fully customized 3 – 6 month coaching programs click here: http://btrman.me/1JkS2ET

To purchase my recently published book “Two Wolves” click here: http://btrman.me/1CKn7oE

Appreciate my work? Love for you to donate by clicking here http://btrman.me/1CKn6RJ

The Development Of Infinite Patience

Winter is coming.

I feel myself settling more and more. I’ve always known that as the Summer fades and Fall & Winter arrive, something in me becomes much more grounded. I love the snow. I love the freezing cold air. I love the sound of my board as I carve down the mountain. In the winter, I’m wild and free. When everything seems to be dying I come alive.

Infinite patience.

The patience to see something unfold naturally and not force it all while remaining cool, calm, and collected.

Patience is not something I had in my life for a long time until I stopped grasping at everything that I wanted for myself. I realized that some things take time, especially development, and that you have to give yourself the space to be able to deepen into yourself without trying to force things.

To put it another way, you can’t yank on a flower to make it grow faster.

Infinite patience has a few very interesting results when you actually apply it to your life. If you can be patient enough, things will happen as they should vs. how you think they should happen. Often, what we want in our lives isn’t actually what is really good for us. Think about all of the times we got something we thought we wanted and it backfired like a ceremonial cannon. Forcing things always has the opposite effect of what we truly wish for ourselves deep down inside. However, if you can get to a place where you can honestly say “it will happen in it’s own time” you will constantly be surprised by what actually begins to take place.

Patience is a sign of respect for the present moment. Why? Because when you are patient you actually take yourself out of living in the future. When we are being impatient, we usually want something to happen that is farther down the line to happen right now. We think it’s going to be this great thing and that will save us from whatever is going on now. You’ve probably heard me say it before, but that is a “row-boat-mentality” type of thinking. You are constantly rowing to this island of where it all turns out (the future) and never get there because it’s a dream land. It doesn’t exist. It’s one freaking sexy mirage though.

Being in the present and letting whatever needs to unfold…unfold…deeply connects you to what is here right here and now and gives you access to things like patience and acceptance. The second you start rowing though all of that goes out the door and you’re back in a place of impatience, aggravation, frustration, etc.

What’s the greatest culprit of causing our impatience? The mind. The mind will run it’s thoughts and emotions uncontrollably causing you to drag yourself out of whatever you are appreciating now and replace it for a different place, one that you will never actually get to. So, in a sense, happiness and the cultivation of happiness comes alongside with the cultivation of being present and in this moment. Of course there are a lot of other factors that play into happiness, but I would have to say that this is certainly one of them.

How can you bring patience into your life?

I have a few ways in mind.

Clean up your past: if your past is messy as all hell and you can’t focus on anything but everything that has happened to you or with you in your life, how in the world are you going to appreciate the moments in front of you? You really can’t. Maybe you will have a rare moment or two but that’s about it. You have to be willing to clean up the situations that are hindering you and still effecting you to this day.
Set purpose driven goals: This is an interesting one because goal setting can put you in a constant state of row-boat-mentality…but that’s why I wrote “purpose driven goals.” If you know what your purpose is in life, what you’re set out to do in the world, then your goals become a deep reflection of that. In fact, they really just become “expressions of purpose” and milestones down the line. Goals imply a linear A to B process. Development though, is not linear…it’s a deepening process – sometimes without any specific direction. Keep that in mind.
Meditate: simply focus on your breath and keep coming back to it if your mind naturally starts to wander etc. Thoughts and emotions pour uncontrollably, your only job is to keep coming back to the present moment with your breath. Do this…it works.

Be willing to watch things unfold naturally. Give them the space and time to grow. It’s much more fun with you watch it grow the way it is supposed to instead of constricting it to the way you would like it to be. When you give up knowing how something is going to go, you leave yourself open to having your socks blown off by possibility.

I would rather live in that type of world.

-Evan Sanders

For email coaching click here: http://btrman.me/1Hy8ZOk

For 1-on-1 phone or Skype coaching click here: http://btrman.me/1Hy93h1

For fully customized 3 – 6 month coaching programs click here: http://btrman.me/1JkS2ET

To purchase my recently published book “Two Wolves” click here: http://btrman.me/1CKn7oE

Appreciate my work? Love for you to donate by clicking here http://btrman.me/1CKn6RJ

Run Little Rabbit Run

Rhythm.

Right now, there are powerful, almost unspeakable, rhythms at play. There are significant changes in the macro forces that run my life as well as the up-close-and-personal details, the fine strokes of what makes me…me…changing as well. These changes were preceded by a significant amount of chaos. But in the end, isn’t that true for all transformation – really? Things continue to unsettle before they can once settle again. At least, this has been true for my life time and time again.

And yet despite all of these outside forces at play, there’s also my internal pressure that is creating  tectonic shifts as well. I have connected to something which is helping shift things into position but at the same time there is this newfound wisdom or energy within that has allowed me to get out of the way of myself and begin shaping what is in my hands. For the longest time I felt like I was spinning my wheels because I was chasing after things that were not in my focus. This unfocused “focus” drove my off the tracks of the direction I was supposed to head in – the direction I’m heading in now – and in a stroke of artistic disaster derailed me in my life.

That derailment ended up being a life saver despite the fact that the train cars piled up on one after another.

Sure, there was significant damage and pain because of that…but the reality is this – if that train hadn’t derailed and piled up on itself, it was heading headstrong into a chemical factory or some other type of explosive warehouse and the damage would have been catastrophic.

Sometimes, the “worst” things that happen to us – those life events – are saving us from something much worse. I’m not saying that this is the case all of the time (let’s be fair here) but I am saying that there are a significant amount of things that happen to us that derail us from paths we aren’t supposed to necessarily be on. Whatever that reason may be, we have a new opportunity to either get back on the path that truly resonates with us or find that path in the first place.

The worst news can be the good news.

For this to be the case however, you have to be willing to accept your condition. What does that mean? You have to be way things are. It’s really hard to do the next step – accepting that life doesn’t have to be this way if you can’t truly come to terms with the fact that you have this issue, this problem, this way of being. Change doesn’t come from a place of deep denial. Change comes from a place of acceptance…acceptance that this is the way it currently is and that there could be a different way. It took me many many many years to get to a place where I had to come to terms with the fact that I had demons inside of me that I needed to work with. I continued to chase this place where I thought everything would be okay and that all of my problems would disappear…wrong.

In fact, moving didn’t do the job. Moving just carried all of those issues with me. The only thing moving did was change the geography of where I was, and in turn, where my issues were.

I don’t believe that there need to be Herculean efforts made to change your life.

I do, however, believe that it’s a good thing to have a guide or a coach to help you see what you cannot see. But Herculean efforts? No…leave those to the 92% of New Years Resolutioners who fail every single year. Instead, identify where you are at (essentially audit your life) and then identify where you would like things to be (goal set). Then, create daily actions that will help you bridge that gap. Will you not know what to do along the way? Of course. But will you have access and resources to all of the things that you may need. Yes. You can learn just about anything these days. It’s all there for you if you are willing to put in the work every single day.

That seems to be the greatest challenge of all.

We have a lot of people who are obsessed and excited about something, but not many who are willing to be a part of the daily grind that is necessary to achieve those big dreams.

No matter what, be willing to come to the table and bring the best you have that day. It may be 60%…bring 100% of that 60%. You might not be feeling great – do what you can do. Some days are not going to be as good as others – fine. But if you beat yourself up about not being perfect every single day, and you quit, you went from being on a journey to failing simply because there were unnecessary and overwhelming inner-critic forces at play.

Run little rabbit run.

-Evan Sanders

What’s your biggest goal? What’s your grand vision? What are your toughest challenges right now? I will block my time out for you on a call and create a life-changing coaching experience for you. All you have to do is email me at aykmecoaching@gmail.com and we will set up a time to chat. No catch. No obligations. I’m here to help you change your life. So don’t wait another minute and email me.

The More You Smile

Your smile is one of the greatest tools you have. When you smile, you show the world that you have goodwill towards everyone and everything. Smiles can break down barriers and they can lead to a million things.

So smile.

Smile as much as you can when you are happy or when you are around other people. Keep it authentic of course, but if you have the choice, throw someone a smile.

Looking for more content to inspire you daily? I’ve built hundreds of pages of unique quotes and photos over on The Words Of Encouragement including these motivational quotes for students.