Ken Wheaton's Blog, page 15
July 20, 2014
Hometown Barbecue Is Good Eats, but …
Perhaps I’m getting old, lazy, spoiled or all three, but my first impression upon walking into Hometown Barbecue in Red Hook was, “Not this bullshit seating situation.”
I know some places in Texas do it. I know Mighty Quinn’s in Manhattan does it. That doesn’t make it okay. And what is it? First you stand in line for 30 minutes or so to get your meat — which I’m perfectly fine with — but then you face the possibility of standing there with a tray of meat hoping someone vacates a table. Not qui...
July 16, 2014
Things You Can’t Do Without a Thumb
When I need to slice things, I almost always reach for a knife. I’ve spent good money on some very sharp knives and I get a certain joy in using them.
But last week, looking to bake some potato chips on a week night, I thought to myself “Why make things so hard. There’s a mandolin somewhere in this kitchen. Use that.”
So I found the thing, fiddled with it and puzzled over it like a monkey trying to figure out a plastic water bottle, then started slicing. Things were going great and I was wonde...
July 15, 2014
Talkin’ Funny: Louisiana Style
“Mais, yall come see my new tricycle, cher!”
I must have been 17 years old before I ever uttered the phrase “come here.” And I did so only to make myself understood to what I thought was a somewhat dense Northerner, a Long Islander who couldn’t understand basic English.
In my part of the world, in South Louisiana, for some reason or other, we never said, “come here.” Instead, we said, “come see.” Always and forever, with no confusions or misunderstanding.
Yet the very first time I said “come see...
July 1, 2014
The New E-Book Is Here! The New E-Book Is Here!
As an author, there’s nothing quite as exciting as publication day, when … well, nothing tangible really happens, because the print book hasn’t shipped yet. But the e-book has. And, let’s be real, if you’re like me, 95% of your reading is done on an e-reader anyway.
So e-reader people activate! Sweet as Cane, Salty as Tears is now available for your devices and for purchase via these fine outlets.
I’d much rather you get it, read it and review it on the we...
June 24, 2014
“I Don’t Care What They Think” and Other Lies Writers Tell
There’s a moment that’s hard to describe, when you receive an email with a subject line that includes your name, the title of your next book and the words “Booklist Review.”
For my third novel, Sweet as Cane, Salty as Tears — which is being released next week — the thought process was a three-step one that went something like this.
1. “Hmmmmm. Booklist Review.”
2. “Sweet! Someone reviewed the thing!”
3. “Oh shit. Someone reviewed the thing.”
And then my finger just hung there over the phone. Do I...
May 28, 2014
Saturday May 31: Robicelli vs. Wheaton in a Literary-Cupcake Smackdown!
Okay. That is not at all what is going on Saturday at the Bay Ridge branch of the Brooklyn Public Library. But it sounded like a good headline. (Also: Whatever it is, I’d lose.)
But Allison Robicelli, co-founder of Robicelli’s and co-author of Robicelli’s: A Love Story With Cupcakes, will be on a panel at the library on Saturday. And I will be on a panel as well. So please come out to Bay Ridge for the following event.
MEET THE WRITERS OF BAY RIDGE
Saturday, May 31, 1 p.m. to 3 p.m.
7223 Ridge Bl...
May 18, 2014
I Saw Something but Didn’t Say Something at the Brooklyn Half
Yesterday, while walking by the vast cattle pens that serve as security at New York Road Runners’ major races these days, I watched a guy simply hop through where two of the fences met. Anyone who knows me knows how I like to tweet and Facebook everything, especially if it involves an entitled, self-important twat — likely a cyclist from Manhattan, he just had the look — breaking the rules.
I didn’t. Because he wasn’t carrying anything other than his bad attitude. Also, I figured if I did, and...
March 27, 2014
Look! Up in the Sky! 70s Mom!
“You done taking the picture? I gotta ride down to the ditch and play in it.”
A friend of mine sent me a link to this blog post yesterday: If 70s Moms Had Blogs. It’s the funniest thing I’ve read this week — and I’m reading the Autobiography of Mark Twain. Here’s a taste.
About an hour later Matt came back crying that Mrs. Johnson had spanked him because he was throwing rocks at cars.
“Good,” I told him, “I hope you learned your lesson. If I hear of you doing that again I’m going to bust your as...
March 23, 2014
Sleepy Hollow Half 2014
I apologize if you’ve seen this on Daily Mile or Facebook already. Just spreading the love.
Sleepy Hollow Half Marathon. Official time 1:58:52.
No heads were lost during the running of this race. Though I did wish at times for a man on a black horse to come back and end the misery.
I’ll be honest. Was a little disappointed with this time. It’s over a minute slower than last year’s (1:57:07) and I figure I’m in much better shape this year. Definitely weigh less.
But I did stop to take a picture. A...
March 21, 2014
Not Half Bad: New York City Half Marathon
Tomorrow I’m running the Sleepy Hollow Half Marathon, but I figured I’d slap up some deets (I’m modeling my speech off of Geico’s spokespig, Maxwell) about the New York City Half that I ran last Sunday.
This was my first time doing this race. And it’s almost a pity I ran it as a training run instead of hauling ass. Felt really good for this one–certainly better than the Manhattan Half earlier in the year. It helped that it wasn’t 19 degrees. Amazing what rested legs and a stomach full of carbs...
