Leandra Medine's Blog, page 91
August 22, 2019
Ask MR: I Can’t Stop Stalking My Partner’s Ex on Social Media
Hello and welcome to our advice column, Ask MR, where we answer your burning questions, hoping we’ll become the ointment to your life rash. Ask us a question by sending one of us a DM, emailing write@manrepeller.com with the subject line “ASK MR A QUESTION,” or simply leaving one in the comments.
“I’m obsessed with stalking my partner’s ex-girlfriend on social media! How do I stop!!!”
The sheer number of methods available for stalking someone online in 2019 boggles my mind. There are the obvious ones, like Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp read receipts, Google alerts (if you’re extra determined). Then there are the less obvious (and possibly even more fruitful avenues), like Venmo, Snap map, shared iPhone albums…I’m sure I’m overlooking others.
On top of this baseline volume, social media is literally set up for stalking. It wants to help you keep tabs on the lives of friends and strangers. It is designed to satisfy your curiosity gap, to lead you from tag to hashtag to geotag until you determine exactly where Tommy’s boyfriend’s older sister went on vacation with her high school math teacher’s younger brother.
I know you already know all of this, but it’s worth reminding yourself that even though the urge to stalk your partner’s ex-girlfriend on social media probably makes you feel like a creep, it actually just makes you human. Social media makes it easy for humans to access other humans, and sometimes even other humans’ pets.
Either way, it sounds like you are desperate to stop stalking your partner’s ex-girlfriend, based on my very scientific analysis of your exclamation points. I sympathize deeply. My partner doesn’t have any significant exes, but when we were broken up in college I still somehow managed to eke out digital data about people he only may have hooked up with, according to tenuous online evidence. That “may have” alone was enough to induce numerous mental spirals.
There are many pitfalls to social media stalking, but the biggest one of all–the urge to juxtapose yourself and your life to another person and their life–is practically inevitable when a partner’s ex is involved. Because that’s kind of the point, right? You are currently holding the position they used to occupy, and that simple truth is a Pandora’s box of opportunities for superficial comparison. Some of these comparisons would be available for your consideration whether or not social media existed, but the fact that it does exist puts them–and endless others–on a continuous ticker tape right in front of you every single day, which is exhausting. It’s exhausting to routinely compare yourself to someone else, to dwell in the past, to allow your mind to assume to worst.
It’s also addicting. It provokes a very specific kind of thrill, one that feels exhilarating and nauseating at the same time. Terrible but too good, like reading gossip about yourself, or eating an entire family-sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms. It’s hard to stop, which is why you need to make it hard to do it in the first place.
Blocking your partner’s ex on social media is one option, but it’s also easy to reverse and therefore easy to cheat. Instead, try committing to a playful challenge: Every time you stalk your partner’s ex, you have to do your roommate’s laundry. Or read a chapter of Infinite Jest. Or comment something encouraging on your great aunt’s most recent Facebook status. See if that curbs the urge.
If it doesn’t, go deeper. Write down all the seeds of doubt your stalking has planted about you, or about your relationship. Consider whether any of them are actually valid, and if some of them are, talk to your partner. Maybe having this conversation is what you needed all along, and the urge to stalk your partner’s ex is just another in a long string of life’s nudging reminders that it is always okay to ask for what you need, even–or perhaps especially–when the thing you need is as simple as reassurance.
Ask MR Identity by Madeline Montoya.
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August 21, 2019
The Great AC Debate: Do You Run Hot or Cold?
This morning I sat in the Man Repeller offices—in the thick of Bad Summer—with the AC set to 76 degrees Fahrenheit. It was comfortable, but a tad chilly. I proceeded to unwrap a melty Reese’s cup I procured from the kitchen, which sits at a balmy 79 degrees, and scraped the peanut butter off the paper wrapping with my teeth because I’m *not* an animal just a woman who likes to finish the job.
Then I read this tweet, based on this report, which claims these temps are optimal for energy efficiency:
How cool do you keep your house?
New report our shows these as the recommended temps for energy efficiency:
• 78° F when you’re home
• 85° F when you’re at work or away
• 82° F when you’re sleeping pic.twitter.com/iNOSaqX35c
— Jennifer Titus (@jenntitus10) August 19, 2019
I have affection for a warm space, but I was QUAKING at how high that number looked. I imagined myself in a pool of my own sweat, a room surrounded by hellfire. But then I did the math: I like to sleep in temps around 76-77 degrees Fahrenheit. I like to exist in temps around 78-79 degrees Fahrenheit. That temperature range is my happy place. I can be cold in a breeze on a hot summer day. At family gatherings in southern California, I have a reserved space in front of the fireplace or space heater. TL;DR: I run cold.
My parents, meanwhile, run hot. On a recent trip to Maine, where the temps were largely cool and tranquil, my parents complained of roasting alive in their rooms at night, while I slept like a babe. Our shared space has always been a battle.
Even at the Man Repeller offices, the temperature is a war silently waged between those who are too chilled and those who are too toasty. I’ve watched the thermostat rise and fall in clandestine movements every day this summer. After dropping the above tweet into a Man Repeller Slack channel, Leandra wrote: “There are AC people in this world—mostly American—and not—mostly Euro. My brother in law needs to sleep in 62, it is incredibly offensive.” Gyan, our Australian managing editor chimed in saying, “Not one of my friends in Sydney has AC. I’d never had it until moving here.” Resident Brit, Jasmin, wrote, “I’m not a fan of AC either, only when really necessary.”
People. Have. Feelings! (About temperature.)
I look at this tweet and its subsequent responses (Anger! Frustration! Suspicion! Mockery! Lols!) as being indicative of the human condition: Temperature regulation is something humankind will never agree on. It’s something that is measured by an individual’s multitudes (genetics, culture, body, socioeconomic privilege, etc.), not to mention our collective relationship with the planet.
But it will always, always be a source of co-habitational strife.
Do you run hot or cold? Are you waging a temp war at home or at work? Are you an AC person or a no-AC person? These are the questions that keep me up (and perfectly regulated) at night.
Graphic by Dasha Faires.
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Fake Freckles Are Trending, Much to My Delight
My best childhood friend was (and still is) decorated with freckles from head to toe. Every summer, they would multiply in number, appearing seemingly out of nowhere, like stars in a city blackout. I was always slightly jealous, a feeling that reached its nadir when The Parent Trap starring Lindsay Lohan premiered when we were in second grade. I remember stealing my mom’s eyeliner pencil to attempt an artistic transposition of Ms. Lohan’s freckled visage onto mine. Instead, I ended up looking like someone who had consumed a piece of chocolate cake too close to a powerful ceiling fan.
Now, more than two decades later, I’ve been equal parts thrilled and intrigued to detect a bonafide artificial freckle trend (if it’s not weird to call it that) whirling around the internet of late. I think I first started noticing it when Janelle Monae wore a smattering of freckle-esque star stamps under her eye at the Kid’s Choice Awards in March. Shortly thereafter, I read this powerful as-told-to interview on Refinery29 with artist/model/musician Merlot, who uses fake freckles to feel more confident about their skin and identity. Then I noticed multiple people posting photos on Instagram Stories with a “Freckles” filter that superimposes fake freckles onto your face. Around the same time, I also saw my friend Alyssa experimenting with a product called “Freck,” which is specifically formulated to create natural-looking freckles.
“Freck OG has seen over 15x growth in the last year, especially since our launch in Europe,” Freck co-founder Remi Brixton told me over email. She attributes this uptick in interest to the body-positive/self-acceptance movement on social media, which has in turn lead to the increased popularity of lower-coverage foundations, or wearing no makeup altogether, thus allowing skin texture and freckles—natural or otherwise—to remain uncovered.
“When Freck launched in 2017 people were very hesitant about faking their freckles, feeling like they might get ‘caught’ or called out,” she told me. Now, people are more accepting of the concept: “After all, makeup is enhancing your look however you please, and freckles are no different,” she said.
I have yet to reattempt actual fake freckles with makeup, but having used the freckles Instagram Stories filter quite a few times for my own amusement (and research, of course), I am fully reengaged with the potency of freckle appeal. So much so that I pitched a beauty editorial framed around this very concept, celebrating natural freckles and fake freckles alike. The results of said pitch are embedded in this story; once you’ve taken an inspirational perusal, scroll down for makeup artist Alana Wright’s tips for highlighting your natural freckles and/or creating new ones:
How to Highlight Your Natural Freckles With Makeup:
“If you find that your skin looks a little ashen when applying foundation over your freckles, just take a Q-tip with a little bit of micellar water on it and wipe away the foundation wherever your freckles are,” Alana said. “And if you really want to pump them up, I love the artist color pencil from Makeup Forever. They have some really cool, natural, freckle-toned shades.”
How to Create Fake Freckles With Makeup:
“You can also use a pencil to create freckles if you don’t already have them,” Alana said. “Just dab little dots on top of your foundation, or on your bare skin, and then take your finger and press some of them lightly to make them a bit blurred, so they’re not too crisp. That way it looks really realistic.”
For more outside-the-box “freckles,” Alana recommends stick-on rhinestones and/or MILK Makeup stamps. (“Just go crazy,” she said).
See All 3
Thoughts on freckle mania? Jubilant, freckle-filled selfies? Deposit them below.
10 PHOTOS
click for more
Photographer:
Sabrina Santiago
Stylist: Harling Ross
Art Direction: Kayla Kern
Models: Ava at NoAgency, Adreena at Fenton Models and Kyle at Muse NYC.
Makeup:
Alana Wright
Makeup Assistance:
Zinniah Muñoz
Hair: Sergio Estrada
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I Think My Favorite Summer Wardrobe Staple Is Just… Socks?
I’m famous among the local rat population for whining about getting dressed in the summer. It’s too hot, and biologically wet, and the most appropriate clothing leaves little room for the imagination. Getting dressed in the winter, meanwhile, feels like working on a puzzle—you get four or five layers to play with and piece together, maybe even six if you’re fun, but in the summer you get a paltry two. And a bad mood if you push it.
The specific trappings of warm weather style have never spoken to me: frilly sundresses, delicate sandals, cut-off shorts, and flimsy tank tops. I end up settling for their more basic counterparts, but then I get bored. And then I remember that mid-length shorts and a T-shirt never look the same way on me as they look on cool-looking dudes on the Lower East Side. Something gets lost in translation, and I’m left to ponder the opportunities of fall.
But this summer, like an old dog defying expectations, I stumbled upon a new trick. It’s a tiny change in how I get dressed that’s transformed my relationship with summer dressing. Now I can wear a dress without feeling uncharacteristically dainty, or shorts and a tank top without feeling run-of-the-mill, or a skirt without feeling like a skirt person, which I most decidedly am not.
The trick, if you haven’t guessed it yet, is socks. Specifically crew-length socks, worn with any shoe, really. The first time I donned a summer sock to surprising results was in late June: I wore black socks with black brogues, paired with my Derek Lam shorts (which have also much improved my summer) and an oversized white T-shirt (the one mentioned here). It was an outfit that, with the summer shoe du jour known as the sandal, would have fallen flat. But with socks, felt cool. Next I paired the same shoe-sock combo with a daytime pajama set and felt positively civilized. Then I tried white socks and sneakers with black leather shorts and I was officially convinced that socks had saved my summer.
They’re not an obvious nor particularly impressive warm-weather accessory. Your ankle may at times prefer a breeze, but it’s the smallest of prices to pay in exchange for an additional layer of interest (and protection against blisters), not to mention the unexpected hint of boyishness in a sea of floral prints they provide. Despite some hot days this summer, I’ve never been called to take them off for my physical comfort, and instead have felt emotionally buoyed by them all season. For a mostly utilitarian garment everybody already owns, that’s no small feat. So to speak.
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Photographed by .
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Believing in Soulmates Might Hurt Your Chances at Finding Love
We may have outgrown the idea that we were once physically forged to our significant other, but it seems that we are still enamored with the thought that there is one person with whom we simply belong. In fact, even in the age of digital dating, up to 73% of Americans are reported to believe in soulmates. Many still speak reverently about finding “The One,” or wonder whether they can see themselves with someone forever after a particularly good first date. Even Phoebe from Friends tapped into our longing for the person we would always hold claws with when she told Ross and Rachel they were each other’s lobsters.
I was sure that when the right person came along, things would simply slide neatly into place.
But if and when you find your “one true love,” what are the chances that things will last? Lower than you might think, according to research. One study of almost 300 couples found that those who believed that there is just one person for them—a so-called “destiny mindset”—also had a higher chance of doubting their relationship. In fact, the study ultimately found that those who believe in soulmates are much more likely to break up with their significant other than those with a more skeptical approach to love.
I’ve often thought of myself as a little cynical, but I fell victim to the soulmate myth for years, dismissing people under the guise of searching for someone I was simply meant to be with. While dissecting the details of breakups with friends, I would always come up with some amorphous reasoning for leaving. Something just didn’t feel right, I would say. But whenever my friends pressed me for details, I’d struggle to articulate exactly what was wrong. I was sure that when the right person came along, things would simply slide neatly into place. That some inherent sense of completeness would intervene before I even had to bother with the interest and investment that forms the basis of a real relationship. That “when you know you know,” even though evidence suggests that sometimes love is cultivated in not quite knowing but being prepared to work at something in order to find out.
The aforementioned study argued that instead of letting destiny take care of things, soulmate skeptics tend to have a so-called “growth mindset.” They understand that relationships are imperfect things that take work and commitment. They believe in compromise and overcoming problems. They understand the unique fallibility that makes us all human and don’t feel the pressure to find that mythical being who just gets us from the outset.
Sometimes you will want to leave. But a deeper kind of love means sticking around anyway—not because of cosmic forces, but because you want to.
For all my holding out for the spark, I ended up with a person who was my best friend for 11 years before we decided to be together. There was never a moment when I knew, but rather a bunch of small moments along the way that materialized into something significant. And what that slow build made clear to me was that the idea of a soulmate, romantic as it may be, sells the real grit of a relationship short. It ignores the nuance of your relationships, and the challenges and complexities that make them unique.
We live in a society where people are treated as if disposable, where ghosting is the new break-up chat, and the promise of something better is always only a few swipes away. But love, to me, is resisting the appeal of such transience, and sticking around to see what comes after. Relationships are hard. You will doubt them. Sometimes you will want to leave. But a deeper kind of love means sticking around anyway—not because of cosmic forces, but because you want to. It’s giving up on the notion of finding someone that we are “meant” to be with, and finding the person that we choose to be with instead.
Graphics by Kayla Kern.
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The 5 Scenes From ‘The OC’ I Will Never Forget
Beyond my love of the show’s ballet flats and spaghetti straps, my obsession with the music of The OC was—and still is—unwavering. I own all six of The OC soundtracks on CD and love each equally with the exception of the first, which was obviously the best. Growing up in rural Australia, this meant many trips to my hometown’s only music store to check when the next one would be in stock. Just as The OC changed the relationship between music and television forever, the music of the series changed me forever. Those CDs were the soundtrack of my youth and the foundation of my adult music taste.
Which is why, last week, when I saw that Australian musician Mallrat had compiled all The OC soundtracks into one Spotify playlist, two emotions moved through me: pure, unadulterated joy, and mystification that I hadn’t done it first.
Friendly but firm reminder that I’ve compiled every single song from The O.C. season 1 to 4 into a single convenient playlist. It only takes seconds to retweet https://t.co/z8Uda7GLLC
— mallrat (@lilmallrat) August 13, 2019
I spent all weekend listening to the playlist. I abandoned my podcasts, audiobook, and every other song in my Spotify library, and dove right into the deep end of my nostalgia. Not only was I overwhelmed by memories of my own teenage years, I was overwhelmed by my memories of the show itself. By the specific, iconic scenes that imprinted upon my memory simply because their soundtracks were superb.
So, without further ado, five scenes from The OC that I will never forget, care of the songs that made them perfect, in order of least to most dramatic.
5. The Scene Where Summer and Seth Kiss
The song: “Something Pretty” by Patrick Park
Everyone has a favorite Seth Cohen quote and mine is from this scene: “Acknowledge me now, or lose me forever.” I’m not ashamed to say past-me reblogged this exact quote on Tumblr many times. As for the song, I think it might just be one of my favorites from the whole series.
4. The Scene at the End of the First Episode Where Sandy Drives Ryan Back to Chino
The song: “Honey and the Moon” by Joseph Arthur
What a journey the pilot episode took us on! This scene starts with Marissa standing right where she was when she met Ryan for the first time, at the end of her driveway waiting for Luke to pick her up. Sandy is driving Ryan back to his home in Chino, only to get there and find that Ryan’s mom has totally abandoned the house and, consequently, her son Ryan, who now has no choice but to go live with the Cohens. (Yay.)
3. The Scene Where Ryan Makes It to Marissa Just in Time for Midnight
The song: “Dice” by Finley Quaye
Ugh, remember Oliver? He was the worst. Thankfully, Ryan made it to his New Year’s Eve party just in time to tell Marissa that he loved her. I’m also pretty sure I have these lyrics written out in full in my teen diary. I’m also equally certain this scene has effectively ruined every New York NYE for me. Oliver may have been evil, but it looks like he knew how to throw a party.
2. The Scene Where Marissa Realizes She’s Standing in the Infamous Model Home
The song: “Paint the Silence” by South
Honestly, I’m mainly including this scene because it’s pretty much how I feel whenever I listen to any music from The OC. What a ride.
1. The Scene Where Marissa Shoots Trey
The song: “Hide and Seek” by Imogen Heap
Never before had I been so shaken by an episode of television. I have an incredibly vivid memory of calling my friend Shannon on my landline home phone to scream about how traumatized I was because TREY WOULD HAVE KILLED RYAN IF IT WEREN’T FOR MARISSA. This song remains Imogen Heap’s most played song on Spotify and I have no doubt this scene is the reason why. I still get chills watching it.
And now, of course, here’s the playlist in full. Enjoy!
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August 20, 2019
30 Perfect Minutes With Chloë Sevigny
“I just put that on.”
This response does not come off as self-aggrandizing at all. I teed her up to answer that way, practically salivating as I described the blazer, the wash on the shorts, and the innocuousness of her pouch. I think by virtue of how many looks she has worn, how many stylists she has worked with, and how many elaborate garments she has allowed her body to canvass, she is surprised more than anything.
“I still have the blazer,” she goes on. “It’s in storage by my mom’s in Connecticut.”
She’s coming from there—Connecticut, I mean, not the storage unit—and I can guess, given how sprightly she is, that it was a damn good or at least relaxing time. Either that or she’s very excited about the spoils with which she has returned. An overstuffed L.L. Bean tote sits next to her in the second-floor lounge that moonlights as a lobby for 11 Howard, the hotel on Crosby street that is connected to the restaurant, Le Cou Cou. We’re here today because she’s launching a collaboration with the five-year-old fragrance brand by Alia Raza and Ezra Woods, Regime des Fleurs.
Woods is an old friend of Sevigny’s: “I’ve known [him] since he was just out of high school. When I was in L.A. doing Big Love, we became fast friends, and I just became obsessed with him; he was this young boy who had really sophisticated taste and through the years, we’ve done different work together. For a minute, he thought he wanted to be a celebrity stylist. So I let him do me for some high-profile events. One was the Emmy’s when Big Love was nominated. He put me in an [Isaac Mizrahi] thing. That was pretty.”
After he and Alia Raza launched Regime des Fleurs, she fell in love with the brand. Eventually, they asked if she’d ever thought of doing a fragrance. “I go, ‘I’ve never really been approached.’ And they were like, ‘Do you want to do it?’ I was like, ‘With you guys? For sure.’ Anything to help elevate them and, selfishly, to get my own scent.”
She had worn Comme des Garcons Rose for years, but it was discontinued, she says. “So I was always searching for the right perfume—I wore Hermes Rose Ikebana for a while afterward, but I couldn’t find the perfect rose scent. [Raza and Woods] were like, ‘We’re going to make you something that you like even more that Comme des.'”
When she was a little girl she collected perfume bottles. “That was my thing,” she says. “My mom and my aunt would find them at tag sales and thrift stores and I collected the empty bottles. My collection was massive, I even showed it in elementary school in the glass case in the library. Scent is the strongest memory sense, they say.”
Tomorrow, the scent, called Little Flower, is officially available through the site and Dover Street Market. The bottle features the brand’s signature crest reimagined as a rose with Sevigny’s name and the bottle cap closure looks like a giant pearl. “It’s me,” she says of the design.
This is one of a number of projects she is working on currently: there is the denim capsule collection that Opening Ceremony in Japan will launch imminently, and an 8-part mini series for HBO called We Are Who We Are, directed by Call Me By Your Name‘s Luca Guadagnino, that she is filming in Italy. “It’s a coming-of-age series that takes place on an army base in Italy,” she tells me. “I play a mom—a lesbian colonel in the army. My son is played by Jack Dylan [who is] questioning his sexuality. He befriends some of the other kids who are also unsure of their gender on the base. It’s very timely. And in that way, it’s very Luca. He has a very good pulse on who the people of the moment are, who will actually resonate. Timothee Chalamet did such a great job in Call Me By Your Name. I’m on a break, but I go back next month, and am there until November.”
Today, even though she’s not wearing the precise outfit that is burned into my mood board, the recipe bears a striking resemblance to it. Her shirt is Maison Martin Margiela; she says she got it from Resurrection at least 10 years ago. It might be from the circle collection of 2006. Over it, she has styled a mens Maison Martin Margiela blazer that she bought from a consignment shop in San Francisco. It’s the perfect summer blazer because it’s not lined. “I love vintage shopping. It’s like the most relaxing thing in the world to me. I’ll be on location somewhere and I’ll discover something through the vintage stores. I don’t even have to buy anything. They’ll have the same merchandise for a year but I’ll still go through the racks every couple weeks.”
I get it, because I do that, too, but with online shopping. It’s enough, most of the time, to just scroll through the product pages. Chloe Sevigny doesn’t really online shop, though. She prefers a more tactile experience, which is perhaps reflected in the micro-shorts she is wearing, purchased very recently from the Adidas store in Soho. They are tiny and electric blue, with those signature stripes down the sides. Her shoes, bought in Connecticut, are by a brand that she called “a knock-off Birkenstock.” Technically, they’re Naot, the de facto Israeli knock-off in which the feet of my youth spent years traversing the hills of a Jewish sleepaway camp in the Poconos.
Bringing this up seems to prompt Sevigny’s asking about what I’m wearing today—a military green quilted tank top and metallic basketball shorts. She says my wardrobe must be gigantic, and I tell her that actually, it’s pretty tiny. That I never wanted a big wardrobe, but always wanted to have the kind of wardrobe you could walk into blindfolded and pull anything out from while thinking, Yeah, I definitely want to wear this.
“That’s just another way to say you want a uniform,” she resolves as if the simplest math equation of arithmetic measure. And she’s right. This analysis is reflective of her broader style—the matter-of-fact way in which she just knows what cinematic parts make sense for her, why creating a fragrance with a small band (and brand) of friends instead of a beauty-giant is a better bet, and how to get dressed. She gets it—herself. That is so clear in even the discrepancy between the outfit she wore 10 years ago and the one she’s wearing today. I guess because of that, what she touches becomes uniform.
Chloe Sevigny will be at Dover Street Market in New York City on Wednesday, August 21st, from 5-7pm to celebrate the launch of her collaboration with Regime des Fleurs.
The post 30 Perfect Minutes With Chloë Sevigny appeared first on Man Repeller.
Shoes You Didn’t Know Were Good for Walking
That doesn’t mean I only wear sneakers, though. I have this amazing (new and improved) pair of Mary Janes from Urban Outfitters that I wore 3/7 days of fashion week last season, even in the snow, and I didn’t slip once. I’ve also been eyeing these guys from Bottega Veneta, the 2019 icon of footwear that I admittedly want very, very badly despite their over-saturation on Instagram. But I digress: Please join me in scrolling down below for a litany of rubber-soled recommendations so we can all live happily ever after and never slip again.
To Wear Every Day
I have these fantastic white boots and these rubber loafers, and I can personally vouch for their unique combo of practicality and aesthetic thrill. I’ve also had these in my shopping cart for awhile now. Imagine them with gym shorts and a tank! Or these guys with an ankle sock and a pinafore? As a bonus, all of the above would multitask as great footwear for wet sidewalks on a rainy day.
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To Wear to Work
I highly recommend Camper shoes–both their loafers and their heels–for sensible but cool workwear companions. I also found these awesome, highly discounted heeled Bottega Veneta loafers that would be great with a sharp suit. These smart pumps with a rubber sole are true staple material, and these platform brogues could be worn in any season, i.e. the ultimate transitional weather outfit fodder.
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To Wear Out at Night
Might I recommend a rubber sole (for safety!) whilst dancing atop a slippery table, literally or figuratively, during a night out? It’s the ideal shoe bottom for dancing if you’re committed to wearing a heel. Take these Eytys shoes, for example, which would pair so well with mini shorts and your favorite going-out top. I also really like these Mary Janes—they’re very similar to the Urban Outfitters ones I mentioned earlier.
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Do you have any traction-happy shoe suggestions? Does anyone else think about this stuff besides me!? There is no bond like rubber to unite a comment section, I’m pretty sure.
Art Direction by Dasha Faires, Photographed by
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5 Comedians to Follow on Instagram Immediately
For all its firey passion, Twitter has become synonymous with exhaustion. The takes are on fire and at a constant surplus, and the jokes come so fast you barely have time to let out a puff of breath through the nose, also known as an internet laugh, before moving on. But on Instagram, in what was once the vapid land of thirst traps and flat tummy tea, and possibly still is, there is a burgeoning community of comedians making my scrolling experience one of both void-courting and existentially fulfilling laughter.
Twitter will probably always be the popular kids table for internet jokes (I cannot/will not deny the genius of this tweet or Eva Victor or @dril), but I think Instagram is becoming a veritable Janis Ian: weird in a good way and not opposed to wearing wigs made of your mom’s chest hair. On a practical level, there are more entry points for varying content types (photo, video, carousel, story, live), meaning there’s more flexibility and space to be funny (love a franchise). And on an emotional level, Instagram, in all its narcissism, feels more concerned with celebration of the individual and cults of personality, whereas Twitter feels more like a collective stream of conscious.
Now that I’ve over-explained it, five comedians to follow on Instagram immediately:
1. @servideo
View this post on Instagram
A post shared by lauren servideo (@servideo) on Feb 27, 2019 at 4:18pm PST
Lauren Servideo’s Instagram is batshit and extremely good. Her bits range from working at Brandy Mellville to being just a regular vampire to whatever this is, and her engagement-to-follower ratios are intimidatingly high for a reason.
2. @sashemerci
View this post on Instagram
It’s summer, you don’t want these problems!
A post shared by Sasha Merci (@sashamerci) on Jul 22, 2019 at 9:45am PDT
Sasha Merci is an actor and comedian who does a lot of advocacy for Latinx voices in art. Her Instagram is highly binge-able and includes spontaneous poetry, impressions of trash dudes, and thoughts vis-a-vis Mercury being in reggaeton.
3. @therealgenevievetho
View this post on Instagram
Somebody STOP ME from becoming a YouTubeR
A post shared by GeNeViEvE aNieLLo (@therealgenevievetho) on Jul 17, 2019 at 8:37pm PDT
(Highly suggest watching this video^ to completion.)
Genevieve Aniello is a comedian who works in TV and I regularly pull up her Instagram in social situations. Several of her bits have lodged into my long-term memory to return to me at random times, such as: her restaurant order requests, her celebrity imitations, and this video of her pretending to be a server at a dine-in theater. She’s perfect.
4. @coleescola
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NEW VIDEO! Lorraine was on Chopped!? Shot by @danielrampulla, makeup by @ema.hmua
A post shared by Cole Escola (@coleescola) on Aug 15, 2019 at 6:19am PDT
Cole Escola is a comedian and actor with you might recognize. His Instagram is absurd and should not be consumed unless you’re prepared to lose your composure (“Thank you chef.”). Some good places to start: this practice round for Christmas, this alternate ending to Titanic that he describes as “one of the worst things I’ve ever made,” and this fake Vanity Fair interview.
5. @chloeiscrazy
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A post shared by Chloe Fineman (@chloeiscrazy) on Feb 13, 2019 at 3:02pm PST
.Chloe Fineman is a comedian with a pension for wigs and her imitations are insane. See: Elizabeth Holmes, Timothée Chalamet, and a bad actor in a breakup scene. I’m also a big fan of her in Bieber drag.
Please drop some of your own recs below. I’m parched for more.
Feature Photo by Landon Speers.
The post 5 Comedians to Follow on Instagram Immediately appeared first on Man Repeller.
33 People Share Their Most Memorable One-Night Stands
As someone who has never partaken in a true one-night stand, I’m never not interested in hearing about them in exquisite detail. Which is why I’m thrilled to reshare the below story, originally published in August 2018, in honor of peak single season.
You know those special summer evenings out with friends where you all stay out a little later than you originally intended, and maybe order one more round of Aperol Spritzes and hummus with pita bread for the table than you thought you would, and all of a sudden everyone is feeling warm and loose and in the mood to faux-whisper the tales of their most thrilling (or embarrassing or weird or funny) romantic encounters?
That’s what it feels like to read the below round-up of quotes from a whole bunch of people who generously recounted the stories of their most memorable one-night stands to Man Repeller. Scroll down to soak them up like that last bite of olive oil-drenched pita. Prepare to laugh, cringe and empathize—and add your own in the comment section if you have one.
“A couple of years ago I went on a family vacation to Cabo, had a three-day romance with a local volunteer firefighter and ended it by hooking up in a fire truck on the last night. I’ll never look at a fire truck the same.”
Peach, 25
“I was 21 and didn’t want to be a virgin anymore so I went on Tinder and had my first and only one night stand. It was great.”
Rosa, 24
“It was 2002. I heard some friends talking about how one of the New York Mets just left the bar, so in my slightly inebriated state, I decided to go see if he was cute. He had just hailed a cab and was about to get in. I said, ‘Leaving already?’ and he said, ‘Should I?’ We hung out at the bar together for an hour or so, then went back to my place. He had an amazing body and it was the perfect first one night stand.”
Nicole, 38
“When we got back to my place, he took off his jeans to reveal boxers that looked like tiny denim hotpants. I was slightly shocked but went with it anyway.”
Annie, 26
“Danish cornfields, a boy named Mathias, 12 beers apiece, up all night at a communal living compound. Unabashed sexy times within earshot of LOTS of disgruntled Scandinavians. Oh — and there was a sauna.”
Hannah, 25
“I was at a friend’s birthday party, and while happy to be there celebrating my friend, I was not having a great time. Everyone at the party was dancing to EDM music. I hate dancing. While outside trying to avoid the dance floor, I struck up conversation with a very handsome guy and we immediately hit it off. He laughed when I told him about my disdain for dancing and swore he’d get me to dance eventually. Later when the party died down, he walked me home. We stopped at a park near my apartment and he pulled out his phone. I thought he was going to take a photo, but nope, he put on “Dancing in the Moonlight” by Toploader. He grabbed my hand and taught me to dance (real rom-com stuff… think spinning me around and dipping me backwards) in the park, in the moonlight. We only made out a little bit, and I still hate dancing, but it definitely made for a good story and a memorable ‘one-night stand.'”
Emma, 19
“I was 17 and it was New Year’s Eve. We smoked weed in his bed until everything became funny. Someone had spilled gummy bears on his comforter, and we kept feeding each other and cracking up. Feeding quickly turned to making out. Driving home the next morning, I kept finding gummy bears that were stuck to my arms and neck.”
Hallie, 25
“It was 2013 and I was trekking the previously unexplored Shilheipung Hills in Manipur, India with a guy. We went up with nothing but a makeshift axe, a rope and water. We reached the top by sundown after a lot of sweat, dirt, him dragging me, carrying me on his back, etc. But the kiss we shared was beautiful and so was everything else that followed. He left to work for the Navy some days later. To this day, we meet up once or twice every year for really good one-night stands, no strings attached.”
Eve, 23
“I forgot my shoes at the guy’s place and walked in socks through the streets of London at 6 a.m.”
Phillipa, 20
“I French-kissed with a total stranger in Budapest at the Széchenyi Chain Bridge, a suspension bridge that spans the River Danube between Buda and Pest and watched the sunrise. I later ditched him after he proposed to have sex behind a motorcycle.”
Louise, 21
“I had just ended a 10-year relationship and I was ready to have my first one-night stand at my best friend’s wedding. I met a guy that night, brought him home and a year later we were married. Now we’re at six years and counting!”
Cristine, 34
“I lost my virginity in high school during a one-night stand (I wanted it that way). The next day in school we had to read the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet together in front of the whole class. I wanted to faint.”
Mel, 24
“I was in college and it was a pajama party, so naturally I was wearing a onesie with ducks all over it. This guy I thought was so hot started talking to me and we hit it off. He took me to the roof where we gazed at the stars together and drank Natty Lights. He was a great kisser and it was amazing sex, but we never talked again after that. Honestly I mostly am just proud that I successfully picked up a guy wearing duck onesie pajamas.”
Anne, 23
“I was 18 and had just moved to San Francisco. I was just beginning my medical transition. I was feeling lonely, so I met up with a guy who had been messaging me on a dating app. It was a bit awkward. We tried finding food both of us could eat. For me, vegan, and him, gluten-free. We ended up settling on a burger place. We started talking and I could feel an attraction. I was really into him. We went back to his place for some honestly mediocre sex haha. I asked after if there was a place nearby to grab a coffee and he offered to make me one. We sat and snuggled for a bit and decided go try to find fireworks (it was the Fourth of July). We ended up in Dolores park. We sat down and ended up kissing and cuddling, hardly able to wait to get back to his place again.
This experience meant a lot for me at a time of my life where I thought being trans meant I would have to sacrifice true romantic encounters and simply cope with being fetishized and reduced to my trans identity. It also showed me that there were men who would walk down the street with me, holding my hand, somewhat unaffected by the toxic masculinity that can be fatal for us trans folk. It shaped my expectations for how I wanted to be treated by men and gave me hope that I will actually be able to find someone who respects me and my identity eventually.”
Tommy, 19
“When I was 19, I had sex with this Australian rugby player on the bathroom sink/basement couch of an NYC hostel. His name was James. He would ask, ‘Do you like this/do you want to do this?” before trying anything, which was totally not the consent-norm of the time, and which my young feminist self found very sexy. We had to keep going up to the hostel front desk for condoms in what was likely the most conspicuous manner. I have thought of the night fondly ever since.”
Britt, 29
“He tried to give me a fish from his fish tank.”
Emma, 20
“I saw this guy at a bar who was cute, alone and seemed non-threatening, so I approached. I asked him why he looked so lonely, which prompted a laugh. We drank, danced, laughed, and made out with each other through the rest of the night. I went home with him and we had great sex. A week later I found out I had chlamydia (most likely from him). When I told him, he was surprisingly relaxed — we both went to the doctor and we were both prescribed meds. After our doctor business, he asked me to come over and watch some Netflix with him, and we genuinely bonded over our temporary STD. We hit it off. It’s been nearly three years now and we’re still seeing each other. He’s one of my best friends.”
Emily, 22
“I met a stranger in a bookstore in Rome and went back to his place where he bent me over a rooftop balcony overlooking the Coliseum and fucked my brains out.”
Muzunga, 41
“We met on Instagram. When I visited LA, we kept trying to meet up, but it wasn’t working out, so I wrote it off. But then she called me after her shift ended at 10 p.m. We met up at a bar lined with wooden planks à la a ship from 1900s; it was filled with rainbow Christmas lights and locals, the scent of the close-by Santa Monica Pier strong. When she walked in, I noticed that her eyes were yellow. Two Pacificos with lime later, we took a cab to another bar, our shoulders close to, but not touching — in the way they do when two people are interested, but unsure. We picked songs from the juke box while she touched my back. I leaned forward off of my stool and kissed her while John Martyn sang into an empty Venice bar. We made our way to her house, a classic bungalow like the ones in Eve Babitz’s books; spent 15 drunk minutes on the floor of her living room trying to calm her dog from this 2 a.m. intruder. I don’t remember how we got to her room. How I got undressed. If my bra stayed on. Hers did not. She called me ‘baby’ while we had passionate, overdue sex. Afterwards, her dog slept between our legs. Two hours later, I called a car from her bed, watching through hungover eyelids as her chest rose and fell. I took the car to the airport and flew home to Utah.”
Ruby, 26
“He was the lead singer in a college band. I had a very serious boyfriend at the time who was 1,500 miles away. I went to the see the band and he sang most of his songs directly to me. Afterwards, he invited me for drinks and we went back to his place. We had sex for seven hours and watched the sun come up. Before I left I licked him from his ankle to his neck as my goodbye. I gave him a fake number. It was the only time I have ever cheated. It was worth it.”
Maria, 38
“It was in Israel when I was visiting the country with friends over winter break from college. I was staying in a hotel and went to a bar with my girls, where I met someone who was a soldier in the special forces unit. He was four years older (I was 18 at the time), and we ended up having sex in my hotel’s supply closet. I never saw him again, and I like it that way.”
Jackie, 19
“I was 19 and in Paris. I met a Parisian in a bar, who whisked me to his apartment on his Vespa. I spent the night and woke up to an empty bed. He had gone to the bakery downstairs to get me warm pain au chocolat. It sounds fake but I swear this happened to me.”
Gabrielle, 22
“I was my friend’s maid of honor, and one of the groomsmen and I were the only two single people in the wedding party. We also had immediate chemistry. We flirted through the entire rehearsal dinner and then were inseparable at the wedding. We both got drunk. He helped me take one million bobby pins out of my hair. We hooked up in his hotel room. I dipped out early in the morning and we’ve literally never spoken again. I still have the bobby pins, though.”
Ellen, 27
“Philadelphia. Tiny Airbnb. Pizza first, then the hookup. Sex toys involved. Showered afterwards. What a night.”
Kelly, 22
“It was Halloween and I was dressed as Björk (the swan dress). I went home with a guy and it turns out it was his parents’ house. I didn’t have a change of clothes and we ended up eating breakfast together (me wearing the swan dress).”
Lily, 26
“I spent one night in Venice, visiting a cute Italian guy from my internship who spoke zero English. It got hot and heavy quickly, so I wanted to refresh myself with a glass of juice. I didn’t know how to ask for juice so I said ‘limone,’ thinking maybe I would get some lemonade. I did not. He brought me a full lemon, cut in half, and proceeded to squeeze lemon juice all over my body and lick it off. It felt AMAZING, but now I tell people my trip to Venice was ‘totally lemons.'”
June, 34
“I was working as a server and had spent the whole night flirting with a very handsome man 10 years my senior, who was visiting Toronto for the weekend. At the end of the night he asked me for a pack of matches. When I gave him the matches he told me he’d only take them if my number was written inside. He texted me that night to make plans. A few days later we met for a late afternoon drink and ended up hitting it off so well that he booked a 5-star hotel room for the night. We drank champagne in the bathtub, ate Chinese food naked on the patio and had some of the best sex of my life!”
Natalie, 26
“He smelled really nice and kept telling me how much he loved my body all night. When we were done we ordered late night take out and streamed Final Destination 2.”
Giselle, 20
“I had sex with a woman for the first time over Pride weekend after meeting her at a bar and I’m gay as fuck now!”
Julia, 24
“He was cute. But I woke up early and en route to the bathroom discovered that literally the only books on his bookshelf were the collected works of Dan Brown. I immediately left his apartment.”
Kara, 27
“We met at a California Tortilla where he helped me select a hot sauce from the hot sauce wall. After we slept together, we discovered his ex was hooking up with my ex.”
Neanor, 27
“I met her during the pregame, a friend of a friend. We talked about feminism. She had glitter spread over her freckles. As a fledgling queer, it was one of those, ‘do I want to date her or be her?’ conundrums. We danced together on and off throughout the night, but I couldn’t get a definitive read on it. At what point do you go from friendly to flirting?… ‘Want to get out of here?’ she giggled into my ear. We got our coats from the coat check, I checked in with the rest of my friends, and we made a hasty exit. She stumbled a bit on the stairs but didn’t fall. ‘Alright I’ll take you home,’ I joked. ‘No,’ she insisted, ‘I’m taking you home!'”
Fatima, 20
“He was great and super fun, until he whispered, ‘You taste like root vegetables, specifically carrots and turnips’ into my ear. I had to stop things right there because I couldn’t catch my breath from laughing so hard.”
Paige, 22
Collage by Getty Images and Dasha Faires.
The post 33 People Share Their Most Memorable One-Night Stands appeared first on Man Repeller.
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