Leandra Medine's Blog, page 90
August 26, 2019
Swinging Didn’t Go Away, It Just Has a New Name
“I kind of consider myself bisexual,” I told him hesitantly. “It’s something I’ve only slightly acted upon…. Would a threesome ever be something you’d consider?” He looked at me as if I were setting a trap. I assured him I was not. He had questions. Then I had questions. Ultimately, it created space for us to have an open dialogue about how we envisioned the future of our sexual relationship.
My initial comment may have caught him off guard, but it wasn’t necessarily out of the blue: We’d met on Feeld, a unique dating app designed for couples and singles. Formerly 3nder, Feeld’s purpose is to facilitate communication between people interested in kink, multiple partners, polyamory, and alternative sexual preferences. Since it launched in 2014, Feeld has steadily increased its users—in The New York Times’s coverage of it last March, the app was reportedly facilitating about 100,000 messages daily. Along with other apps in its category, like Fantasy and #Open, Feeld’s popularity illustrates one of the important ways mainstream sexual culture is evolving.
Of course, kink is as old as time, and “swinging” has been part of the Western cultural lexicon for decades. But swinging tends to conjure up an image of a 70s pool party outside the Kauffmann house rather two millennials heading to a couples’ date after a day at the office. And the scenery and technology aren’t the only things that have changes, the language has, too: Folks are now referring to recreational sex with multiple partners as being “in the lifestyle.”
This might include inviting in a third party for a threesome, as my boyfriend and I have discussed, or attending sex-positive clubs or parties, even if just to watch.
“When we talk about ‘the lifestyle,’ we’re talking about people who are in healthy relationships and know what they’re doing,” says 28-year-old Bell, who has been in the lifestyle with her husband for three years. “They’re committed, comfortable, and [exploring] in a healthy and positive way.”
Swinging typically refers to couples switching sexual partners with other couples, but “the lifestyle” encompasses people looking to have recreational sex or sexual experiences with anyone outside of the relationship. This might include inviting in a third party for a threesome, as my boyfriend and I have discussed, or attending sex-positive clubs or parties, even if just to watch. The lifestyle is distinct from polyamory, where multiple partners are emotionally involved in the relationship—couples in the lifestyle are still emotionally exclusive to one another.
Before I met my boyfriend, I connected with Anna and PJ on Feeld, a committed Austin-based couple who love craft beers and traveling. Anna tells me that she and PJ started swapping (her chosen word) four years into their eight-year relationship.
”I was drunk when I brought it up,” Anna reminisces, laughing. “And then it took us a while to figure out what the dynamic would look like. We did research and had a lot of conversations about what we were looking for, and started getting excited about it.”
Like me, Anna considers herself bisexual and was interested in experimenting with other women. She’d grown up Catholic and met her boyfriend in college, so she’d never really examined her sexuality further than the heterosexual, monogamous norms, and joining the lifestyle seemed like a good way to redefine her comfort zone. She and PJ discussed it for a solid year before embarking on their first swapping experience, and they still check in with one another often to clarify boundaries and expectations.
“At first I was afraid people would judge me,” Anna adds. “Or think, Oh, she’s only doing it because her boyfriend convinced her. But it was definitely a joint decision.”
Words can’t not have meaning, and many of us have attached the word ‘swinging’ to suggest scandal.
Communication is such an important aspect of the lifestyle that it comes with its own vernacular. I went down a rabbit hole trying to learn it all: “Soft Swap” refers to couples who limit intimacy with others to kissing, touching, and maybe oral sex. “Full Swap” couples allow for every sexual activity when switching, including intercourse. “Unicorn,” a term some love and some find derogatory, describes a woman looking to have threesomes with a committed couple. If all this sounds a little transactional, it’s because it is; clarifying expectations is a necessary part of the process.
“Our language is constantly catching up to adjust to the changing cultural landscape,” says Amanda Montell, a pop-linguist and author of Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language. “Words can’t not have meaning, and many of us have attached the word ‘swinging’ to suggest scandal.”
In its heyday, the notion of swinging was associated with moustached men and cigarette-smoking women tossing their keys in a bowl after socially lubricating with a few Singapore Slings. Casual sex wasn’t as casual back then, Montell says. It was considered scandalous, and so we started to associate the corresponding language with scandal, and a stigma was created. This may be why new generations are ditching “swinging” for something more vague, and possibly expansive.
“It makes sense that a word like swinging has been replaced with something like ‘in the lifestyle,’” Montell adds. “The language we have to describe different phenomena evolves as we become more knowledgeable and accepting of them.”
In other words, swinging simply rebranded. And our language isn’t the only aspect of society adjusting to these shifting cultural norms. The internet has made it easier for curious couples to find one another, and dating apps have simplified it even further. In a way, these advancements have made swinging, well, more chill.
“We’ve met people from different countries, various nationalities,” says Anna. Swapping has enhanced her and her partner’s communication skills, too. “We don’t hold anything back. Before it was hard to tell one another exactly what we were thinking. But because we’ve been so open in this area of our relationship, we’ve been able to be more open in others.”
Those in the lifestyle have placed themselves in a situation where they have to talk openly and directly about sex—something that remains, for many, a 21st-century taboo.
“We bond over bad dates,” says Bell. “If a date sucks, or someone is ghosting us, we have a partner to share that with, and we can laugh about it together.”
Swapping certainly isn’t for everyone. But those in the lifestyle have placed themselves in a situation where they have to talk openly and directly about sex—something that remains, for many, a 21st-century taboo. For those interested in sexual lives unbound by centuries-old traditions, the lifestyle creates an environment for us to be more comfortable with ourselves and our desires.
Since that first conversation, my boyfriend and I have discussed being part of the lifestyle with casual consideration, sort of like we would a trip to Fiji or adopting a dog. It’s not currently on our plates, but it’s also not off the table, either. Which is exactly the kind of dynamic I’m energized by: one defined by playfulness, openness, and the space to define for ourselves what we want life to be like.
Feature graphic by Dasha Faires.
The post Swinging Didn’t Go Away, It Just Has a New Name appeared first on Man Repeller.
Office Apropos: 35 More Summer Outfits We Wore Last Week
*knock knock*
*ring ring*
*toot toot*
It’s us again! Back for another installment of Summer 2019 Office Apropos that’s bathed in sunlight, sprinkled with sweat, and ready to be perused. Since joining Team MR I have come to look forward to the daily, weekly, and monthly outfit inspiration that springs from inside the office each morning. But seasonal inspiration? That’s something I never anticipated needing so much. In this, our second Office Apropos for the summer, I spied the perfect pair of lime green sandals, another Staud bag I wish I owned, and six pairs of shorts (apologies in advance to everyone who’s office dress codes wouldn’t allow such free-legging.) May you find what you’re looking for too!
Amalie, Day 1:
Today in this dress I felt 50% like I came straight off the plane from Copenhagen Fashion Week and 50% like I just descended from a biblical mount holding tablets. In any case, I love a Midsommar moment, and I love that I can run for my life in these sneakers.
Amalie, Day 2:
I bought these Loewe sunglasses for my birthday so I can always look like an extraterrestrial. And Marc Jacobs. In addition, I had these chinos tailored to fit me just right, which was maybe the kindest thing I’ve ever done for myself. I love them. I went to Moulin Rouge in this outfit and was suddenly shamed for my muted palette, something I divert to in summer months where I am -40% excited about clothes.
Amalie, Day 3:
I felt a bit like p**p this day, but my cow print clogs off-set that. I had seen Eliz marching through the office in hers from Tory Burch and said to myself “there has to be a cheap dupe.” And lo, there was and it was good. In addition, I want to point out that these Tibi pants are maybe the best summer pant to ever come into existence and I got them for a fraction of the price (I’m sry!!). I’ve worn them everywhere from the high seas to, like, breakfast tacos.
Amalie, Day 4:
I think this headband kind of made my head look like an egg, but eggs are cute, no? I truly do NOT wear shorts to work seeing as I am a (many times mentioned) summer pants person, but also from being conditioned by more corporate environments where denim shorts would have been met with a scowl. In any case, it was fun to let my legs breathe. And these sandals I have worn into the ground, this summer. Don’t sleep on lime green footwear!
Amalie, Day 5:
This morning I came straight from a workout class to work, which is always a bummer. HOWEVER, this dress changed that up for me because it was so lightweight and easy to throw on. P.S. I love Holiday the Label’s prints. I wear their Kokomo pants religiously in all seasons because I’ve never found a pant that fits me quite like they do. This dress is no exception! I wore it with a lil tee underneath so my *cough* ladies didn’t get too chilled, and then threw on white platform Tevas that I’ve worn so much they’re more… off-white not by Virgil Abloh. Okay I’m done thanks for joining.
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Andrea, Day 1:
I’ve been on the hunt for the perfect pair of sailor pants for what feels like forever, and if you’re also looking, FYI Front General Store has many and they are GOOD. This top can be worn forward or backward and I love a versatile item! I really wanted to wear my Birks but I’ve worn them almost daily for two weeks and it felt like time for a change, so I threw on these yellow/gold-ish textured MNZ mules that change colors slightly with the light which amuses me! They were a sample sale find that I thought I wouldn’t get much use out of but have surprisingly worn them a lot this summer.
Andrea, Day 2:
Going on about Front General Store again but they also have a gr8 selection of vintage silk shirts! Probably not the best choice for a muggy day, but I felt like wearing color which is pretty rare for me. Yes, I consider dark green that could be mistaken for black in this photo a color. These Zara pants are v comfy and are the perfect amount of slouchy but still cinched at the waist which is basically my dream come true.
Andrea, Day 3:
Sometimes picking out two articles of clothing is too much for my not-a-morning-person brain so I have about 20 jumpsuits and this is one of them! It’s another recent Zara purchase and I find myself throwing it on at least once a week. This is the second day this week that I wanted to my Birks but they somehow felt off with the jumpsuit, so I opted for shiny silver flats that are just as comfy but definitely not as breathable.
Andrea, Day 4:
Years ago, my friend Sarah texted from a thrift store with a photo of this shirt (dress? shirtdress?) and said “$12, you want?” Of course I wanted the most oversized white button-down frock that could be worn in many ways and to many places including the beach and the office (if that’s not versatility idk what is). It was hot and I wanted to wear the loosest clothing possible, so threw on these linen pants from Amazon that I have in a few colors and don’t intend to stop wearing. My trusty MNZ slides are another item I don’t intend to stop wearing ever!
Andrea, Day 5:
This is my other non-jumpsuit go-to pairing when I can’t get dressed in the morning and definitely also makes a weekly appearance but with different shoes and accessories.
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Dasha, Day 1:
This is me all summer—18 different ways to wear a slip dress. I got this perfect slip dress on sale at Need Supply. Seriously though, if you don’t wear shorts because maybe they don’t work for the proportions of your body or maybe you’ve had two kids and they give you severe camel toe, try slip dresses for when it’s really hot outside and you need to dress up, dress down, dress all around.
Dasha, Day 2:
In the summer I have a real problem dressing for the transition of my commute to the office AC. I walk to work and feel really good outside and then I’m freezing when I get to the office. The reality is I’m spending more time during the work week in the office and the freezing cold AC than I am sweating my way through the steamy streets. Enter white denim jacket: summer wardrobe-friendly chill bump eradicator. Try it. Also, just a note that these mules are the most comfortable dressy-ish shoe. I can walk 5 miles through the city in them—no blisters, no debilitating foot pain.
Dasha, Day 3:
I call this look “Easter in August.”
Dasha, Day 4:
My husband said I look like a nurse and I kind of agree, but I’m very fond of a head to toe white look for peak summer heat.
Dasha, Day 5:
This is what the 35-year-old me wishes I could tell the 16-year-old me to wear to prom, but instead I’m wearing it to work.
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Patty, Day 1:
I love all of my shoes but this boot is my favorite child, evidenced by the fact that I insist on wearing them during bad summer. Pants are H&M, top is Reformation, bright orange hoops are from a little shop at the Jersey shore.
Patty, Day 2:
Dress for the season you want right?! Was I warm? Yes. Was the office AC on blast? Yes. Did my kitten heel get caught in the woven straw rug in the office living room and did I almost go down? Mmhmm. Worth it? 96% sure that it was. This was probably my fave outfit of the week. I felt like a chic gourd that perhaps Moira from Schitt’s Creek would approve of if Moira approved of wearing color of any kind outside of lip stains.
Patty, Day 3:
These pants are the kind of old school embroidered cotton leisure-wear that I imagine people wore before leggings ruled the earth. I love them. These are also the most truly comfortable everyday sandals. And fun fact: this yellow plaid pack can fit a whole bottle of bug spray AND sunscreen along with all of my other essentials. Magic.
Patty, Day 4:
Crystal asked us a month or so ago what our summer style persona is and my answer was a kid who refused to change out of her pajamas for school. That kid is clearly at the wheel here.
Patty, Day 5:
Harling told me last summer that these were the perfect white denim shorts and that it was very rude that no one else could have them as I had thrifted them in Savannah and then cut them myself BUT GUESS WHAT PPL I FOUND THE SAME EXACT PAIR BELOW!!!!!
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Hillary, Day 1:
I’m in the middle of dealing with super low iron so the thought of putting in a lot of effort has been physically draining the past couple weeks. But I’m starting to feel better and I’ve been giving my outfit themes which has made me excited to get dressed in the morning (it’s the little things people). I actually have an iron treatment today so I have to go cozy and thought “what would Wednesday Addams wear if she had to go to tennis camp?” This shirt is one of my absolute favorites, it’s from a shop in my hometown that works with local artists to design unique, Tennessee-focused shirts and they are the softest! Because both the MR and doctor’s offices are chilly I have been toting around this self-dyed sweatshirt which is my new theme of summer.
Hillary, Day 2:
One of the side effects of my iron treatment is bloating and today I am bloated. Which means no jeans and the humidity is at a balmy high so I opted for a skirt that makes me (and every other woman in NY clearly) feel breezy, a fringed suede crop top which makes me feel like a cowboy, and my favorite ankle boots that were a congratulations splurge that I bought myself! I didn’t have much more than comfort-but-not-pjs in mind while picking this out, but a friend DM’d me saying my outfit was “very Shania Twain” and you know what, that did impress me (much).
Hillary, Day 3:
We’re in a heatwave! And not the cute sing along kind unfortunately. It is hot and, worse, it is humid. I basically didn’t get dressed this morning. I’m wearing pajama shorts and the lightest socially acceptable top I can wear in public but also not freeze in the office AC. I plan on running to Morgenstern’s later and thus adding an ice cream stain to this shirt. Give me those bad summer vibes.
Hillary, Day 4:
I’ve had this Uniqlo shirt forever but I never wore it because it felt too formal, too school uniform-y. But a few weeks ago I was doing some tie dying at home and decided to give this blouse a shot at a new life and I can’t get enough of it. I’m pretty happy with how it turned out and it feels like an elevated way to wear something funky. These are my favorite pants from Everlane! I have them in no less than 3 colors already.
Hillary, Day 5:
These are my secret favorite pants. Not a secret because I never wear them, but secret because they come from a brand that for years I hadn’t thought about. By fate one day I spilled a cup of coffee all over my pants and the closest store was an Old Navy, I popped in and tried these pants on and was sold. I’ve been really impressed with the quality and wear of these. I’ve had them for a few years now and I bought a second pair recently for when these wear out. They’ve got just enough stretch to breath and still feel fitted, but being a pant vs a jean they instantly feel more formal if needed.
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Maggie, Day 1:
I’ve never thought of myself as a skirt/sneaker combo kinda gal but with this pairing, I think I got one step closer. The skirt is a gem found on The RealReal and it’s a teeny bit scand-o-lous with the sheer waist so it calls for a nice pair of bike shorts to be office-appropriate (if a sheer skirt could ever be considered office-appropriate).
Maggie, Day 2:
Just need to give a big thank you to Leandra for having GR8 taste in shoes. I snagged these bad boys at the Man Repeller x Object Limited Closet Sale a few months back and my life has never been the same. Also, life hack: If you wake up late and don’t have time to shower, just turn to your trusty coconut oil to give ya the slicked back low bun of your dreams.
Maggie, Day 3:
I got this shirt from a thrift store while I was living in Hong Kong and it says “Your Secret Is Safe With Me”—a little creepy but a lot of fun. Also, I’m pretty sure these are men’s pants but I loved them so much I got them tailored to fit and want to wear them every day. They are the perfect color combo to make me feel like I should be in the cast of Caddyshack, but, like, in a cool way.
Maggie, Day 4:
Boy, I really do love a good babydoll silhouette, huh? I’m so glad it came back in style. Also, unpopular opinion, I’m secretly waiting for low rise denim to make a comeback.
Maggie, Day 5:
This was my mid-week, rainy day outfit look that a) did NOT suit the temperature outside b) DID suit the temperature in the office. You win some you lose some. Also, these pants were a major win because they were majorly discounted due to a broken zipper and poorly tie dyed-tie dye. But I bought them two sizes too big because I loved them so much. SO. I repeat. You win some you lose some.
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Jean, Day 1:
This was my first day with green hair so I was feeling good!! I wanted to be seen! And what better way to do that than with as many patterns as possible? I typically don’t wear snakeskin or fur or anything because I’m a big cruelty-free person, but when I do, it’s always synthetic, and I try to make it as ridiculous as possible. A snakeskin shoe is extravagant but pants and shoes is absurd. Which is exactly how I want to look 87% of the time.
Jean, Day 2:
This morning I woke up early and watched the sunset, which 100% influenced what I wore that day. I focused on warm colors, busy patterns, and overall feeling cozy. Speaking of, can you believe that shiny pants can be comfortable?! Look how relaxed I am. Look how chilllllllll. These are simultaneously the pants I go dancing in and that I throw on to answer my door when the Postmates delivery person arrives. I love them very much.
Jean, Day 3:
Oh boy I was really hoping my puffy red eyes would not be apparent but alas! I’m sick. It was a priority to be comfortable and warm. I wish I had more to say but the fact of the matter is this outfit resulted from not feeling well and waking up at my boyfriend’s place. Thus I give you: the doing my best!
Jean, Day 4:
Sometimes I wake up and have no idea what I want to wear, and once my tiny apartment floor is covered with clothes that I have tried on and concluded to be all wrong for me, I invent a character and dress like them instead! This one was “girl who is on ecstasy and is she really into the way things FEEL.” I played with texture as much as I possibly could: beads, sequins, embroidery, sticky lip gloss.
Jean, Day 5:
This look was inspired by the fact that I realized I had hidden my legs all week. I woke up knowing these babies needed to shine! I put this outfit together and thought it was cute, but as I’m sure you’ve gathered by now I’m not satisfied without a LOT of bright color, so I strapped on my glitter boots (a Jean Pflum staple) and put some lipstain on my eyelids (I know it sounds ridiculous but it works like a DREAM)!
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Photos by Sabrina Santiago.
The post Office Apropos: 35 More Summer Outfits We Wore Last Week appeared first on Man Repeller.
Unconventional Life Hack: Give Your Grudges an Expiration Date
“No, that’s not what I meant!” he said. “I was seriously just remarking on the difference, because it surprised me. I wasn’t being passive aggressive.”
“I want to pay you back!” I shrieked. “I was going to and forgot!”
“No really, please don’t,” he said. “You’ve paid for a bunch of other apartment-related stuff recently.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
That’s when my eyes lit up with a thought: “If you’re EVER annoyed or upset about something I’ve done or said or forgotten to do, you have to tell me within 24 hours of it happening,” I said.
He laughed.
“I’m being serious! Let’s put a 24-hour time limit on our petty grudges. We have to tell each other within 24 hours, or else…or else we have to drop it. Like an expiration date!”
It felt like an epiphany. By nature, Austin and I are not prone to fight-picking or grudge-holding. We haven’t been in a “fight” since college. Whenever I bring this up, with a mixture of glee and trepidation, he says it’s because we got all our fighting out of the way when we were teenagers–which is honestly probably true, given how much we argued back then. We’re also just different people now, with broader (and significantly less hormonal) perspectives. Tiny annoyances don’t tend to feel as important, especially in the grand scheme of what we’ve come to know about each other and ourselves.
But we recently embarked on untrodden relationship territory: We moved in together in June. Even though it’s been a delight so far, I’m conscious of the fact that living with someone, especially a romantic partner, can introduce a whole new set of considerations: splitting finances, splitting chores, negotiating air-conditioning and sleep schedule preferences, deciding what to share (body wash) and what to keep separate (shampoo), agreeing on furniture, agreeing on a movie to watch, and endless others. No matter how much I want to buy into the idea that we will always handle small misunderstandings with grace and humor and enlightened communication, I know realistically that there will be something that eventually gets under someone’s skin and stews there for weeks like the petty-grudge equivalent of boeuf bourguignon.
As a people-pleaser to the core who panics when there is even a tiny chance that a friend or family member might be mad at me, that inevitability sends a chill down my spine. On the other hand, the thought that someone might be mad at me and not tell me feels even worse. That’s why having a petty grudge expiration date is so helpful: It eliminates the need for guesswork. It also encourages both of us to thoughtfully consider whether or not an irritation is important enough to voice. If it is, it forces us to say something before the irritation has had time to fester and grow. If it isn’t, it forces us to let it go.
Neither of us has voiced a grudge as prompted by the 24-hour rule yet, but I’ve ruled a few small annoyances too insignificant to mention because of it (often realizing that the reason I was annoyed in the first place stemmed from something totally separate and mundane, like a stressful day, or too little sleep). Ultimately, I’m comforted by the simple fact that the expiration date exists. And who knows? Maybe I’ll do something extra annoying on purpose to really test the waters, like clipping my toenails at the dinner table.* Stay tuned.
*Would rather sleep on a bed of scorpions.
Graphics by Kayla Kern.
The post Unconventional Life Hack: Give Your Grudges an Expiration Date appeared first on Man Repeller.
August 23, 2019
Breaking! The Perfect Fall Loafers *Do* Exist
The perfect fall loafer can turn an okay outfit into an incredible outfit–and likewise, an okay Monday morning into a Monday morning when two coworkers stop you in the hall to ask what you’ve been doing differently to your skin because it’s glowing from within, to which you’ll say, “Nothing!” And that will be the truth, because you haven’t been doing anything differently to your skin. You just happening to be wearing the perfect fall loafers.
So believe me when I say I am very wary of instigating a “girl who cried wolf” situation when it comes to fall loafer-related claims. I recognize the gravity of this topic, one upon which the state of herringbone trouser cuffs and mood-boosting compliments hang. Believe me when I also say I do not make this claim lightly: I have finally come face-to-face (or rather, toe-to-suede) with fall loafer perfection.
They’re a new silhouette from M.Gemi called the “Sacca,” freshly launched just a few weeks ago. When I slipped my feet inside a pair, I knew with a whoosh of stomach-dropping satisfaction that they fulfilled all my preliminary perfect loafer criteria: suede, unlined, no embellishments, butter-soft, menswear-inspired, high-quality without costing half a paycheck, and available in the quintessential orange-brown hybrid color (amongst five others) that leaf-crunching dreams are made of.
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I wore them around for the next 12 hours. This decision was conceivably against better judgment, since it is still August and more humid than a snail vacationing in Florida, but it turned out to be the ultimate test for my seventh and final perfect loafer criterion: breathability! Despite the August heat, despite the humidity, despite the fact that I was wearing a fall loafer during a New York summer, my feet emerged happy as clams that aren’t clammy in the slightest.
“I FINALLY FOUND THE PERFECT FALL LOAFERS, YOU GUYS,” I screamed into a Slack channel at work the following week. Though I had temporarily conceded to the reality that flip flops were probably more suitable to the current state of New York weather, my feet (and brain) remained emotionally tethered to the loafers that are now sitting inside their shoe bags in my closet, waiting for the faintest whiff of an autumnal breeze to make their case for reemergence.
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Photos by Sabrina Santiago.
The post Breaking! The Perfect Fall Loafers *Do* Exist appeared first on Man Repeller.
What Do You Think Will Happen on ‘SNL’?
This process requires taking the temperature of contemporary pop culture while attempting to access some prescience for the months to come. My approach included labyrinthine equations, calculated after absorbing the following: all of the announced 2019-2020 movie and album releases; news of television premieres, recent Emmy nominations, the moving parts of many an actor’s IMDb page; September issue magazine covers and premature Oscars 2020 predictions; recent headliners at music festivals, Madison Square Garden and Webster Hall. I tried to narrow in on guests who 1) capture the zeitgeist, 2) have the clout to court high ratings, and 3) exhibit enough dynamism to keep up with the pace of the late night show and its ensemble cast.
It helped that I had a primer of the show’s methodologies after reading the 800-page history of Saturday Night Live this summer. As a general rule, the tapped hosts and musical guests almost always have a recent premiere or album release to promote. Formulaically, each season often includes a host who’s a former cast member, or an integral part of a NBC television show (sometimes they’re both: e.g., Seth Meyers). About once a season there’s an ambidextrous musical guest who can host too, like Donald Glover/Childish Gambino, Halsey, and Ariana Grande. The show also tends to enlist one athlete to keep the roster from getting stale: this seat has most recently been occupied by Charles Barkley, Ronda Rousey, and John Cena.
My predictions become increasingly less scientific and more spitball-y the further into the future this list extends: by Oscar season, my crystal ball contains only L.A. smog. This is why the season is determined on a rolling basis; still, I endeavored to plot out the roster through May, mostly for the satisfaction of reviewing the list at year’s end and seeing how wrong I was.
September, Ep. 1:
Timothée Chalamet: It would not please Louisa May Alcott to have Timothée Chalamet on SNL to promote the Little Women movie, but I imagine that whenever they secure him, he’ll be a ratings win. Consider it a promo for The King and watch the viewers pour in.
Lizzo: There’s no way Lizzo won’t book this season. Between her new album, her role in the new Hustlers movie based on the exceptional story by Jessica Pressler in New York Magazine, and her social media virality, Lizzo’s heat has reached its boiling point.
October, Ep. 2:
Phoebe Waller-Bridge: Fleabag collected Emmy nominations like a child in mid-century America collected stamps, and the internet is nutty for Phoebe Waller-Bridge, so I did the math. (The Hot Priest can, and should, come too.)
Lil Nas X w/ Billy Ray Cyrus: I also did the math here.
October, Ep. 3:
Tom Hanks: I’ve already cried watching the trailer for It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood when I saw it in theaters ahead of my feature presentation. Normally it’d be routine to host after the movie premieres (which will be November 22nd) but I wanted to leave an October buffer where I saw a David S. Pumpkins opportunity. Tom Hanks is practically a Featured Player—this would be his tenth time hosting.
Big Thief: They have a new album coming out (Two Hands) on October 11th, and they’re just the right amount of moody for a late October show.
November, Ep. 4:
Hasan Minhaj: Running with the momentum of his weekly Netflix show, Patriot Act.
Drake: This guess is riding on the success of Care Package, Drake’s recent compilation that dropped mid-August and debuted at the No.1 spot on the Billboard 200.
November, Ep. 5:
Gwyneth Paltrow: Gwyneth parodied her company last season by playing an employee of goop on Weekend Update. I have an inkling that she’ll feature as herself this season, given her clickability as head honcho of goop and a recent return to the screen for the Netflix series The Politician, premiering September 27th. It would be her fourth time hosting.
Billie Eilish: It’s only a matter of time until she’s SNL-anointed. I like the idea of Gwyneth x Billie pairing—so weird and so good.
November, Ep. 6:
Olivia Colman: Olivia Colman plays Queen E in season three of The Crown, premiering November 17th, and she’s an international treasure as proven by her Oscar acceptance speech last February. Opportune for royal spoofing.
Just got this text from Edith Young and couldn't press the 'react with heart' fast enough pic.twitter.com/PIKaWYBh5u
— Man Repeller (@ManRepeller) February 25, 2019
BROCKHAMPTON: Another impending album release!!! Their silver jumpsuits will look stupendous on live television.
November, Ep. 7:
Ansel Elgort: Ansel’s going to be hot off the screen’s adaptation of Donna Tartt’s The Goldfinch, and he’s never hosted SNL, if you can believe it.
Lana Del Rey: Norman Fucking Rockwell’s gotta be played somewhere.
December, Ep. 8:
Keegan-Michael Key: Key, of Key & Peele, features prominently in the upcoming Eddie Murphy movie Dolemite Is My Name and I figure this is reason for a sketch comedy crossover.
Sofi Tukker: The duo has a new EP releasing in September called R.I.P. Shame, Pt. 1. They’ve already scored an Apple commercial, so SNL is a logical next step.
December, Ep. 9:
Kristen Wiig: All fans of the show would go hog-wild to see her deliver her third monologue, and it’d dovetail nicely with her involvement in Where’d You Go, Bernadette.
Bon Iver: Consider it a public service announcement via NBC to start your winter off with a (presumably) sad new album by Bon Iver (it’s called i,i).
December, Ep. 10:
Daniel Kaluuya: Never before a host, Kaluuya will be in the public eye once again when Queen & Slim releases on November 27th.
A$AP Ferg: He just released a new project Floor Seats and will be on his Yedi tour for the rest of the year.
January, Ep. 11:
Taylor Swift (both): She hasn’t hosted since 2009, and this year will be a double Taylor whammy: the instantly-viral Twitter darling Cats hits theaters on December 20th, and Swift’s new album Lover will have picked up a lot of steam by January.
February, Ep. 12:
Florence Pugh: I’m not terribly familiar with her yet, but I imagine we all will be after Midsommar, Little Women and Black Widow.
ROSALÍA: A Fader cover must mean that a SNL appearance isn’t far behind.
February, Ep. 13:
Andy Samberg: Now that his show “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” is in NBC territory, this seems like an obvious choice. The King of the Digital Shorts would be warmly welcomed back.
King Princess: Give the youths what they want.
March, Ep. 14:
Serena Williams: After reigning supreme on magazine covers for the last few years, Williams is my prediction for athlete-of-the-season on SNL. Other chief contenders would be LeBron (who hosted in 2007 but has since been Hollywood certified by Judd Apatow) or Odell Beckham Jr. maybe, despite his departure from the New York sports arena.
Chance the Rapper: The Big Day will likely end up on the show, it’s just a matter of when.
March, Ep. 15:
Natasha Lyonne: Russian Doll has been renewed for a second season, and I have a feeling this would make for a wonderfully bizarre episode of SNL.
P!nk: She’s been all over MSG this summer.
March, Ep. 16:
Tracee Ellis Ross: While I doubt NBC is going to go to great lengths to promote her ABC sitcoms “black-ish” and “mixed-ish,” she’ll have a new movie out called Covers in 2020. Also keeping an eye out for her Daria spinoff, Jodie via MTV—release date unknown.
Vampire Weekend: They’re making the rounds for their 2019 album Father of the Bride, and I peg it at a decent likelihood that the band ends up on SNL for a fourth time.
April, Ep. 17:
Damian Lewis: A hedge fund antagonist in Showtime’s Billions and a brief but effective Steve McQueen in Once Upon A Time in Hollywood, Lewis is a wildcard but it could happen. He’s so versatile with accents! And he looked so funny in that Steve McQueen wig! Bring Paul Giamatti with you!
Iggy Azalea: She’s on her comeback tour.
April, Ep. 18:
Jeff Goldblum: For the sake of capturing our peculiar zeitgeist, I can see there being a real hunger for Internet darling Jeff “Zaddy” Goldblum this season. He could also play with his band, Mildred Snitzer’s Orchestra, though I’m not sure that that’s in the cards. At this point, he’ll likely have his Disney docu-series, “The World According to Jeff Goldblum,” to promote.
Sleater-Kinney: Carrie Brownstein’s band has a new album, The Center Won’t Hold.
May, Ep. 19:
John Mulaney: With last year’s ratings to speak for themselves, Mulaney is a crowd favorite and should be a threepeat occurrence. I love when they resuscitate sketches that were nixed the first time the writer pitched it on the show.
SiR: His forthcoming sophomore album Chasing Summer includes a track with Kendrick Lamar.
May, Ep. 20:
Beanie Feldstein: Monica Lewinsky’s been on the show before, so I see no reason why her American Crime Story counterpart wouldn’t be. I hope Beanie does a mean “Benihana baby.”
Tierra Whack: The costume design possibilities here are endless.
May, Ep. 21:
Jim Carrey: Sonic the Hedgehog comes to the silver screen in 2020, and Jim Carrey has been unveiled as a leading maniacal role. After auditioning for the show to no avail, Carrey has hosted three previous times.
Migos: A new album is en route, along with an opportunity for a “Friendos” reprise.
For the record, the above is not a reflection of my personal dream season: I don’t think Devendra Banhart will play on the show though I’m looking forward to his new album, and I’d love to see Lucas Hedges host alongside the premiere of Honey Boy, or Tim Robinson return to 30 Rock on the heels of his sketch comedy Netflix series I Think You Should Leave, or Kieran Culkin throw Studio 8H for a loop mid-Succession season. Unexpectedly, this exercise shaped up to be a salve for seasonal blues: researching what was new and promising on the horizon for fall, and anticipating new episodes of SNL, combated my mixed feelings re: summer’s wind-down.
Playing SNL fantasy draft also gave me newfound respect for executive producer Lorne Michaels’ magic touch. Name the reward—whatever you think is fair—that I should win if I get any of these right. And please hit me with your best guesses, counterpoints, and revisions below.
Graphic by Edith Young.
The post What Do You Think Will Happen on ‘SNL’? appeared first on Man Repeller.
Ask a Teen: What’s More Important—Comments or Likes?
It sparked an internal question, though: What do teens think about Instagram’s significant recent proposal—doing away with “likes” entirely? Team MR weighed in on this overhaul, which is already being tested in Australia and Canada, a couple months ago, but I was curious to hear from Gen Z (arguably Instagram’s most prized user base) on the matter. So I polled my teenage following on the app in question, asking for their thoughts on likes, comments, and Instagram in general. Below is a consolidated rundown of what I thought were some of the most interesting takeaways from the 144 responses…to be continued in the comment section, whether you’re a teen or not.
A bunch of teens said comments are more important than likes:
“I get more excited when someone comments on my pictures. I feel like it’s a place of positivity and I like it when my friends say cute things. I also love a good moment when my old teacher comments something or my aunt comments about feminism, it just always makes me smile.” -Megan, 18
“I think comments carry more weight than likes. I know lots of people who just scroll mindlessly, liking whatever comes up on their feeds. But when I get a comment on my post I know that someone actually took the time to look at and appreciate what I’m posting.” -Analea, 18
“I like comments a lot more than likes. To me, likes are just stressful and after a certain point they stopped meaning anything, but if somebody comments, you know what they think. I live in Australia, so we already have no Instagram likes and most people really like it because there’s no pressure.” -Noemi, 16
“I find comments more valuable than likes on Instagram. For some reason, if a post I make doesn’t get as many comments as usual, I get nervous about it, like people have already seen enough similar content, or don’t find it worth talking about…My friends and I will sometimes text each other, ‘Guys just posted pls comment.’ Then, it’s an instant string of 4-5 ‘so cute!’s.” -Kyra, 19
“I feel like there is usually thought or intention behind a comment, making it a more personal exchange. I don’t think twice about liking a photo but will sit with my thumbs hovering over the keyboard for 10 minutes thinking through the perfect comment.” -Emily, 17
“I think that a nice comment is ‘worth’ much more compared to a bunch of likes. I’m sad that there is such a big focus on getting as many likes as possible, because you are not the photo. It is much more important what people think of you in real life.” -Nikoline, 17
“Likes mean a person saw what I posted, comments mean a person cared about what I posted (and therefore cares about me). I like everything I see, but only comment on what close friends post. I don’t find likes very important or necessary at all.” -Linnea, 18
“I don’t care about likes at all. Comments have always made my heart flutter, especially if they’re from people I care about and ESPECIALLY if they’re actually saying something meaningful.” -Fredrika, 19
Some disagreed:
“I feel like comments are so irrelevant. I have friends that care a lot but I prefer likes.” -Cat, 19
“I never read the comments on others’ posts but always look at the likes and also how long ago the picture was posted, so I can see the average amount of likes they get per minute or hour. What’s the point of Instagram if likes go away?” -Camille, 19
“The comments are fun to read through but the more likes you get, the more–for a lack of a better word–‘clout’ you get.” -Merritt, 14
“The whole idea of Instagram has always seemed to be about likes, and I know that the likes have always been a fixation for me, my friends, and other teens (whether people admit it or not)…One of my friends will judge how much people like her based on if they like her Instagram posts or not. She made a big deal over a few girls liking her posts who she thought didn’t like her (and decided that they must not be mad at her since they liked her post) and constantly talks about if her long-term crush likes her posts.” -Erin, 18
A handful of teens equated comments to popularity and/or social capital:
“I don’t know if it’s just me, but I become a little disappointed/confused when one of my friends doesn’t comment on a post I really like. Comments are a popularity contest to see who has the most friends.” -Caroline, 16
“Comments show your popularity, the more you have , the more people you know. Although I know many people who get worried about their likes, I find the stress from the amount of comments my post gets much more prevailing as it is a representation of how many friends I have.” -Selina, 14
“I think the amount of comments someone has on their post is valued to a higher degree as a kind of social currency among my peers, if that makes sense?” -Phoebe, 16
“Although many comments are superficial and a form of social capital, they make me feel more validated than likes. Likes have become basically irrelevant to me. I notice that I get far more likes on a photo of people than that of a landscape. This doesn’t bother me because I like the pictures I post and don’t really care if it’s the type of content that others want to see. However, if I got no comments I would probably delete the photo. For some reason I just find comments much more validating.” -Grace, 19
“I often (inaccurately) associate more comments with someone having more friends, which is why it can be a bummer to post someone with mere crickets in the comments section. That said, I’m trying to focus less on using social media to validate my relationships.” -Alexia, 19
Many said they would love it if likes went away entirely:
“I would fucking love if likes went away, I get such major anxiety from posting at the right time and getting enough likes to be acceptable that I have to delete the app off my phone every time I post so I don’t check it every two seconds to see if I’m ‘on track’ in my likes/time ratio.” -Caroline, 18
“If likes went away, I would be relieved, because there wouldn’t be as much pressure to post an ‘Instagram perfect’ picture.” -Zora, 16
“I think Instagram would be better without likes. Posting should be like it was when I was 13 and Instagram was new. It should be about sharing things you like, fun pictures with your friends, posting pictures that mean something to you or make you feel good. I miss the fun simplicity of posting whatever I want whenever I want. It shouldn’t be about posting at just the right time and posting the right edit to maximize your likes.” -Aleksandra, 19
“Personally I’d love for likes to go away because I think it would force me to not seek validation from others and also make Instagram more artistic again which is the main point really (that, and staying in touch with friends, of course).” -Elena, 16
“If likes went away O would be so happy. People care way too much about the amount of likes and they don’t make people feel good, they just make them feel bad.” -Maddie, 14
“Likes for some reason have already went away on my app and I LOVE it. Even though I’ve been trying to not care about likes for a few years now, just not having that number there makes me SO much more attentive to and appreciative of my friends’ comments on my posts. Instagram isn’t going to stop being social currency anytime soon, but I think taking away likes is one less superficial way for teenagers to define their already unstable sense of self.” -Mariana, 18
Only one person wanted comments to go away instead:
“I think that comments should go. They’re mostly irrelevant and are a breeding ground for hate…Likes are more ‘important’ than comments. No one checks the number of comments, but they do check the number of likes.” -Abbie, 19
Quite a few respondents mentioned the impact of Instagram on their mental health:
“The news that likes might be going away made me realize how bad they were for my mental health. I became aware of how time consuming and harmful Instagram was and how I let that happen with the excuse that I was a teen in the 21st century. I couldn’t enjoy my family hikes if I didn’t got the perfect shot–it was like a backpack of constant worry. I first got my Instagram when I was 13 (crazy), and the summer before senior year I decided to delete it. My mental health improved enormously.” -Teresa, 19
“I know so many young people, women especially, who will delete a picture if it doesn’t get enough likes because they think that says something negative about their self-worth.” -Abbey, 17
“Instagram was founded as I began middle school, and I have vivid memories of over-saturated bar mitzvah selfies taken before iPhones with front facing cameras were even introduced. I also remember texting my close friends to remind them to like a picture, and logging onto my mother’s Instagram just to make sure I got that one additional like. I even liked my own pictures, just to bump up the count. It kind of blows my mind to think back on this, the way I matter of factly did all these things, without questioning the rational. Likes were a modern and clear way to demonstrate the social hierarchy already in place.” -Blythe, 19
“When I was just starting high school, likes and comments were something I feel that I obsessed over. I remember seeing a girl in my class that would get dozens of comments and I was sad I wouldn’t get that many. Now though I’ve gotten over the status that likes and comments seem to give and I post what I want and I don’t care who and who doesn’t like it.” -Emily, 17
Graphics by Dasha Faires.
The post Ask a Teen: What’s More Important—Comments or Likes? appeared first on Man Repeller.
Celeb Look of the Week: Gigi Hadid Looking Extremely 2019
Welcome to Celeb Look of the Week! An MR column wherein one member of our editorial team, once a week, waxes poetic about one recently worn celeb outfit they can’t stop thinking about. For this installment, Gyan examines Gigi Hadid’s perfect execution of a very-2019 classic.
Like a high schooler on a class field trip to an art gallery, staring at a Jackson Pollock, I came upon this photo of Gigi Hadid in the East Village this week and sighed, I could have done that. But like the teacher on that same field trip, I quickly reminded myself that sure, I could have but…I didn’t. From the perfectly oversized blazer layered over a pair of bike shorts, to the grey socks paired with white sneakers, to the Airpods and quickened pace that both signify Gigi has places to go, people to see, etc, this outfit is so perfectly 2019 my mind almost wants to reject it. Almost.
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But actually, I’m impressed. Because, if you’ll allow me to run this Jackson Pollack metaphor into the ground, it’s not what Gigi has worn, but how she’s worn it. While others might have been tempted to add a Princess Diana-esque summer sweater to this faux post-workout ensemble, Gigi’s tempted fate and potential future red sauce stains by opting for an ivory blazer that just so happens to fall in perfect proportion to the hem of her shorts. While a more haphazard dresser (me, for example) may have grabbed a pair of white socks from their drawer to layer under these Reeboks, Gigi’s gone with a pale grey, which somehow makes the entire look decidedly more subtle and cool. Throw layered necklaces, gold hoops, an exceptionally perfect oval-shaped manicure, and sunglasses (at night, no less) into the mix and you have one Very Good Outfit.
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The bag and T-shirt are the proverbial cherries on top. Both serve as a nice reminder that as tempting it is to leave the house in a whirl of neutrals, you can look just as Busy and Important while sporting a bright tote and pink graphic T.
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Now, does anyone want to hazard a guess as to where Gigi’s in such a rush to get to? To meet Bella for a Bachelorette rewatch, perhaps?
Feature photo via Getty Images.
The post Celeb Look of the Week: Gigi Hadid Looking Extremely 2019 appeared first on Man Repeller.
August 22, 2019
New York’s Favorite Comedian Jacqueline Novak Gets Dressed—Reluctantly
The T-shirt isn’t tight, nor is it loose; it is, as Jaqueline puts it, “just a T-shirt.” The New Yorker’s Alexandra Schwartz described it as “sillhouette-swallowing” in her glowing review of the show, and “schlumpy” in a shorter write-up for print, as in: “[P]acing the stage in a pointedly schlumpy gray t-shirt, [Novak] goes deep on the semantics of the male member and the equally vulnerable male ego.”
“I think by ‘schlumpy’ she means, ‘She was not attempting to flatter herself with her T-shirt,’” Jacqueline tells me over dumplings in Chinatown, while wearing the shirt in question, this time layered over a black unitard with white sneakers. “But could a T-shirt, no matter how shapeless it is, be ‘schlumpy’ on a perfectly toned and fatless body?” She considers this for a moment. “It’s hard to say. It’s hard to say.” Jacqueline picked the shirt for its seeming innocuousness: “I liked the heather. There are a lot of lesser heathers out there that are almost like a stripe. This heather is one of the most neutral in the world to me. I like it—much more than the charcoal. I don’t like an overly light heather.”
If this seems like a lot of thought to put into a garment chosen specifically for its lack of character, you’ve pinpointed one of the many maddening features of getting dressed for an audience. When I saw her show during previews in July, I noticed her gray-scale outfit right away, and assumed it was something akin to warmup gear, to be replaced with a more statement-making option for the regular run. But today she tells me a statement is exactly what she doesn’t want to make with her clothes on stage, at least for now.
“John and I talked about it a fair amount,” she says of her plain wardrobe choice, which she’s committed to for the full run, which has just been extended for four weeks at the Lucille Lortell Theater due to high demand. “It’s a show with a lot of sexual stuff, and so it’s like, if I’m wearing something real buttoned-up, then that seems to say, Oh, I’m the librarian, or, I’m the academic approaching this sexual material.” She pauses, and her forehead wrinkles as if working out a point.
“But something overtly revealing might feel too on the nose?” I ask.
“Yeah,” she says, snapping out of it. “Sometimes I do a joke about wishing I could appear before the audience as just, like, a sheet of paper with arguments on it.”
Jacqueline’s brand of comedy is hard to categorize. It’s not blue or physical or shocking, although it certainly has those elements. You could call it observational, but it’s more…dare I use a ten dollar word, perspicacious. It’s thinkier. It’s an externalization of the most brilliant thought you’ve ever had while stoned. And she delivers it every time as if it’s the first— in a thoughtful, stutter- and pause-laden staccato. This is how she talks off-stage, too. It’s misleading almost, because it’s easy to underestimate the significance of what she’s saying. To assume she’s jumping around a point instead of plunging into its molten core.
Over the course of our conversation, I am struck by her casual lucidity: She dresses in ways that attempt to “neutralize the body or something.” Clothes are “another language.” Her body is her “soul’s outfit.” Her wardrobe is simple for this show because she doesn’t want people to “contemplate polka dots for 90 minutes.”
The first time I saw Jacqueline Novak she was opening for John Early at The Bell House, and she was wearing a sheer, billowing pink peignoir with frilly hems and a tie at the neck, floating around on stage like a blurry peach. The look is burned into my memory because she and the dress converged for me that night, becoming a singular, cheerful idea. This can happen with clothes and personhood, to varying levels of advantage.
“I got it at this vintage store in my neighborhood,” she says of the dress. “I was wanting to feel more glamorous or fun or something. I thought about wearing something like that for [‘Get on Your Knees’], but I just felt like any of those things were going to get over-emphasized.” It’s a concern most male comedians probably don’t share. “I think that with a lot of men’s clothing, you kind of project a neutral-ness onto it.”
Neutrality or “blankness” as an aspiration comes up often in our conversation. Being understood at a remove from her physical form is the ideal for her right now. “I talk a lot in the show about the body being this burden. The female body on its own, no matter how you’re dressing it, means something to other people,” she says. “I’m not looking to erase myself. But it feels like, with stand-up, [clothing is] adding something that’s distracting or confusing.”
When Jacqueline takes the stage, because of forces both natural and manufactured, what she wears changes the meaning of what she says. It might even serve as the prism through which she is understood. This is a challenge we all face, on some level, in the performance of life; we’re just not being written up in The New Yorker about it. It makes sense that neutrality would hold appeal for a performer like Jacqueline. It’s a way to retain control for lack of a more pointed plan.
I’ve come across moments in my life where I’m like, This. This is me.
“I wish I had a really strong, specific vision for what my clothes should be like,” she says, adding that, maybe, if an outfit “mirrored her soul perfectly,” it might achieve the same kind of disappearance as something inherently neutral, like a heathered gray T-shirt. It wouldn’t distract from her, like a costume, but rather converge with her, like a uniform. “I’ve come across moments in my life where I’m like, This. This is me. But a lot of times when I feel that, I’m essentially in home clothes that are not suitable for outside, like a big, emotional T-shirt and some boxer shorts, and I’m not proud of that.”
In anticipation of this shoot, in which we hoped to collaborate with Jacqueline to capture her at her most aesthetically expressive, divorced from the heady demands of her show, she offered the following as inspiration to Harling, who would be styling her: “old glamour, stage looks, Gypsy Rose Lee, classic female comedians like Joan Rivers, cool suits, powerful looks, 70s Broadway Gwen Verdon, Alexander McQueen.” In other words, the spiritual opposite of faded black Everlane jeans and a gray Current/Elliot T-shirt she found at Bloomingdales.
When I ask how she felt in the looks Harling put her in, she says she felt fun and free. “I totally trust you guys, and that’s the only way I’m going to get something that actually looks significantly interesting.” She enjoys being styled, she explains, because she likes the ceding of responsibility—and especially the onlookers’ knowledge of that cession. She remembers looking at magazines as a kid and having an understanding that the cover stars had not chosen their own outfits. “You don’t blame them for the outrageousness, whether it’s the fashion or glamor of it,” she says. “The more fashion-y or outrageous it is, the more you know they’ve been put in it. They’re even more, like, off the hook. That’s why I’m probably so at ease with [being styled]. Anything that’s my responsibility, such as posing, is a little harder.”
The posing was a problem. From the moment Jacqueline arrived, she mentioned she was nervous about it. Halfway through shooting the first look, she asked me to Google “models posing.” I pulled up the Marc Jacobs Instagram account and suggested she try this pose or this one, which I supplied in jest but she took in earnest. Or perhaps she was kidding; Jacqueline has a way of doing both at once. During the second outfit she gave me a pleading look, so I began to flail my arms and legs around in exaggerated poses behind the camera, telling her to have fun with it. She immediately mirrored my movements with a gentle trust, laughing stiffly between takes. “You’ll feel silly but it will look good,” I said (and it did).
Before shooting the final look, she FaceTimed John Early for tips. “Give them this—” he replied, his dead-eyed, slack-jawed expression freezing so completely Jacqueline and I thought we’d lost service. It was just what she needed—more character than mimicry. And her energy in front of the camera for the final shot was transformed. She wasn’t herself; she was someone else.
A few days after the shoot, I get a text. “I need a look for Monday,” she writes. “Seth Meyers.” She sends a photo of Phoebe Waller-Bridge looking pretty on a talk show.
“With PWB?!” I text back.
“Ha. No. Sorry. I just saw that photo and realized I have no outfit, because what she’s wearing looks serious.”
I text Jacqueline a flurry of ideas while she interjects with opinions such as “wondrous,” “hmmmm,” “sleeveless not ideal,” and “intrigued.” We decide to meet at Tibi’s Soho store the next day for an emergency stock pull. She arrives in The Outfit. Faded black pants and a gray T-shirt: a neutral palette upon which to imagine who she is in the context of late-night TV. We start poking through racks. She tells me she “generally requires some shape or structure,” but is down to try anything, because if you don’t go big on TV, when will you?
After an hour in and out of the dressing room, of her limping around the store in a single heel and pondering the meaning of blazers, we settle on two options: a black and white halter dress with white trim (“more cocktail”) and a green turtleneck dress with an asymmetrical hem (“more fashion-y”). I take photos of her sitting on a couch in both, as she’ll appear on the show, leg crossed away from the camera, body turned 45-degrees to the left. A science. Jacqueline sports a Mona Lisa smile in all.
Two nights later, I watch as she’s introduced on Late Night With Seth Meyers. She enters stage left in the black dress, barefoot with her heels dangling from her hand. She sits down and starts to put them on. “As you saw, I opted to not walk out with the shoes,” she says to a laughing Meyers. “I’m not an athlete! That’s not what it’s about.” They go on to talk about her outfit for five minutes. “The look was planned for sitting…” she says truthfully, tossing her hair dramatically, explaining that she’s always wondered what she’d wear to a thing like this, and now here she is.
She handles the appearance exactly as you’d expect her to: With a charming surplus of thought, presented by a character who isn’t her, exactly, but who has access to her ruminating mind. The dress, the heels, the big hair—they are layers between her and the audience she cannot deny, nor does she want to. The pretending wouldn’t suit her.
This knotty negotiation between self and other is at the heart of “Get on Your Knees,” a one-woman show that’s purportedly about fallible blowjobs but is also about the fallibility of human perception. At one point in her show, she mimics looking in a mirror and weighing the risk of being self-critical (if you’re wrong, you’re good and humble) versus self-confidant (if you’re wrong, you’re a loser and a fool), and reasons that the former feels like no risk at all. This makes a kind of backwards sense, and betrays the outsize impact the other, or the audience, plays in the perception of the self, even when that other is the self.
When it comes to self-presentation, this blurriness persists. Clothes as a mode of expression may be limited compared to words on a sheet of paper, or at least less precise, but they are never neutral. They will always add layers. Being on stage heightens the challenge of clear-eyed communication, and raises its stakes, but it doesn’t warp it, necessarily. It’s a framework we all understand. Jacqueline’s desire to be understood by others as much as by herself exists whether she’s on stage in several shades of gray, on Man Repeller in a red sequin suit, or in front of me eating soup dumplings in a unitard. It’s there in all of us, too, whether we choose to ignore it or embrace it for the messy undertaking it most likely is.
Photographer: Sabrina Santiago
Stylist: Harling Ross
Market: Elizabeth Tamkin
Makeup: Maggie Mondanile
Hair:
Sergio Estrada
The post New York’s Favorite Comedian Jacqueline Novak Gets Dressed—Reluctantly appeared first on Man Repeller.
Two Celine Men’s Looks to Replicate at Home
I’ve had about two months to marinate on the men’s collections that presented in June, two months to consider why they “lit me up like a candelabra on Hannukah,” and two months to decipher the difference between a brogue and an oxford (brogues are perforated, oxfords are not). It turns out the difference doesn’t matter, because what stuck like crumbs to a venus fly trap through the neon pink swim shorts and acid wash button-ups, summer dickies, cropped boatnecks, and a floral wreath-cum-scarf paired with oxfords (not brogues) were two things: striped overalls and an ivory blazer, nautical by the singular account of gold hardware on the sleeves and at the breast.
Both of these details were from the men’s show that Hedi Slimane showed for Celine. If you remember, I was outraged—outraged!—when he was appointed successor to Phoebe Philo. Who would be so arrogant as to initiate their reign by not just wiping clean any inkling of the former brand guard, but further designing the same exact thing they’d made for someone else (Saint Laurent)? And furthermore, what? There’d be menswear? This was a house that women built. What purpose would launching clothes-for-him serve?
I put my foot in my mouth last February after he showed his second womenswear collection for new Celine, but it was only after the unveiling of his second men’s collection that I resolved I’d have to stuff my ankle in, too.
What am I so drawn towards? Why do I like this Celine so much? I can hypothesize for days (analyzing nothing of functional value is where I’m most comfortable) on the contextual implications of Slimane’s contribution, both political and not, to the discourse, but in the most reductive terms, I think I know the answer.
I love it because I get it, but I don’t feel like I have to buy it to get it. You know? I’m already this guy—a sort of cross between a 1970s disco junkie and down-to-earth horseback rider, with enough flair to walk into a room full of Parisians and presumably charm their pants off. I have straight-leg jeans, denim shirts, blazers, trench coats, leather pants, and loafers. And I definitely have access to hundreds of bodegas that sell red carnations (to be used as a brooch). More broadly, the show reminded me that the greatest shopping center is the one in my room, adjacent to my bed, where the clothes are free and the options are endless.
See, but the endlessness of this optionality—it’s been crippling in the past. It has forced me to abandon the basic tenets of who I am (very good at applying historical data to current events) in favor of approaching each day as if Drew Barrymore’s character in 50 First Dates: like the one before never came, like there’s no foundation upon which to build. I guess in that way, his collection is like an organizational coach, a fashion mad lib, that encourages me to slot in stuff I’ve had, but perhaps forgotten about, and make it feel just as valuable (and new!) as it did when I first got it.
Here, I’ll show you:
Granted, this jacket, from Wardrobe.nyc, is in fact new. I had another one, but it was tattered and stained. I don’t know who makes this black button up, I fished it out of a giveaway pile my mom was composing on behalf of my younger brother after he graduated high school five years ago. The jeans are Khaite, I wore them all winter, and the shoes—oxfords, I believe—are from The Row’s first footwear collection. I bought them from The RealReal. And there you have it: my bodega brooch. It’s not exactly like figure B from the show, but I prefer that.
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For my next trick, I borrowed overalls from Harling. Styled them under a black blazer I’ve had for five years. If you don’t have, but want one, I do recommend investing in one, try this, this or this (all under $500). The T-shirt is Hanes and the hat is Maison Michel. The brands don’t really matter, the point is that if you like the looks, if you feel like they sPeAk-2-yOu, you can probably recreate them. Maybe in this way, one such contextual implication of Slimane’s contribution is a benevolent nod towards making smarter consumption choices. Maybe.
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The post Two Celine Men’s Looks to Replicate at Home appeared first on Man Repeller.
A Public Cheating Accusation, and Other Tales of Mistaken Identity
Mistaken identities can be a social minefield: the confusion, the slow realization that someone thinks you’re someone you’re not, the internal debate over whether to correct them, the slow years-long torture of wondering who this person is (Mary! Who are you? What keeps you awake at night? Do people call you Nora? Are you out there somewhere searching for me?), the strange apologetic and awkward moment after you do correct someone. I put out a call to MR readers to see if any of y’all had some mistaken identity stories like mine and it turns out you very much do. The world of ‘oops, what, yeah, that’s not me’ is wide and varied and comes in many forms, so read a few of them below and then hop to the comments to share yours.
“When I was 18 there was a girl on X Factor called Janet Devlin and everyone said I looked just like her. A few weeks later I was in a bar in my local town and I get a tap on the shoulder. The bouncer was like, ‘Oy Janet Devlin, get out, I know you’re not 18.’ I was like, ‘I’m not Janet Devlin? She’s Irish and what would she be doing in a shitty bar in a suburb of greater Manchester?’ But to no avail would he listen, wouldn’t even look at my ID. He kicked me out, convinced I was the underage pop singer from X Factor and I had to wait in the cold outside ’til my friends realized what had happened. ”
-Lily, 24
“When I was 15 years old my volleyball coach mistook me as a mother of one of his players. Granted, the man was probably overwhelmed by the dozen of 11-year-olds he was training, one of whom was crying over having something stuck in her eye. Still, I was mortified and disproportionately worried about prematurely aging over the subsequent five years.”
–Cara, 27
“My phone number used to belong to an ice cream shop owner. I’ve gotten everything from the expected texts and calls from people who want ice cream, to the fully bizarre, like a man saying he missed seeing my store around the mall and then went on to FaceTime me. Oh! And the time I was woken up by messages in Italian at 5 a.m. from a girl who then started flirting with me.”
–Maia, 21
“There was a girl at my college who was basically my doppelgänger! We both got mistaken for each other often at parties. Usually, it was just humorous and people would realize their mistake but once a guy was very insistent that I was Emily and kept asking why I was ignoring him throughout the evening.”
–Kelley, 26
“I was leaving a Target one night and was driving to the freeway. I had the window down because it was a nice evening and noticed this woman was tailing me. She pulls up next to me at the stoplight and starts yelling at me that I’m cheating with her husband. It was definitely not true, because I was not sleeping or hooking up with anyone at that point and had just moved to the city to start college.”
-Becky, 31
“I was a 16-year-old exchange student in Beijing. My host family dragged me through the Beijing airport the night of my arrival and asked me my name. Tired and overwhelmed, I mumbled ‘Caroline.’ ‘Oh, Katherine?’ I was too shy to correct them. Also the Chinese name my teacher gave me, which meant ‘Triumphant Lotus’ in English, was actually ‘Triumphant LETTUCE.’ So I spent the next six months traversing Beijing as a minor, known only as Katherine and/or Lettuce.”
-Caroline, 25
“I think I have one of those average-looking faces because people come up to me all the time thinking I’m someone they know. The worst was when a man approached me and yelled at me for not giving him notes for the last law lecture. I tried to explain that I wasn’t even in law school, let alone knew who he was, but he just wasn’t having it. He yelled at me and stormed off leaving me very confused. I think I may have had a doppelgänger in the law school of my university because people I didn’t know would wave hello at me, so I just embraced it and started waving back.”
–Abi, 24
“I joined a group of people to watch the new Game of Thrones season with, and while I had a couple of friends in the group, I hadn’t met most of them. Since we watched Sunday evening, I normally went to their house with my hair wet and my bangs out of the way. A few weeks in, I ran into one of the guys from the group and he looked at me for a while. He came up to me and asked if I had a twin named Ana (lol). I guess this isn’t really a story of mistaken identity, but it’s really funny how big a difference my bangs must make! I had the exciting opportunity to respond, ‘I am Ana,’ and then watch his immediate reaction of confusion then realization.”
-Ana, 21
“I lost my driver’s license and credit card in a small town in the middle of Patagonia in Argentina. My bank said to file a police report, so I went to the tiny station to report it but they only spoke Spanish and I couldn’t really understand. I kept saying my name was Katie and they kept calling me Cameron. My husband speaks Spanish and explained to me that the police officers were excited to meet me because they thought I was Cameron Diaz despite me reporting a lost ID and credit card with Katie on it. Long story, I ended up signing autographs for the officers and got my Spanish police report to prove the lost cards.”
– Katie, 32
“I live in Washington, DC and share the exact name with a Congressman’s wife. She frequently flies back home from DC in two business class seats—I know this because her staff must’ve booked a flight for her once, and not knowing her frequent flier number asked the agent on the phone to look it up for them. They found my frequent flier number instead and I’ve been earning miles from her flights ever since. I did call and try to correct the error once—if her husband weren’t such a truly terrible person I probably would’ve tried at least once more. Karma, I guess? Very fortunately for the world, he lost his election in October. Very unfortunately for me, I’ll have to start earning my own miles now. ”
– Brooke, 29
The post A Public Cheating Accusation, and Other Tales of Mistaken Identity appeared first on Man Repeller.
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