Leandra Medine's Blog, page 93

Ask MR: My Neighbor Calls Me the Wrong Name. Should I Correct Her?

Hello and welcome to our advice column, Ask MR, where we answer your burning questions, hoping we’ll become the ointment to your life rash. Ask us a question by sending one of us a DM, emailing write@manrepeller.com with the subject line “ASK MR A QUESTION,” or simply leaving one in the comments.

My neighbor of two years knows me only as “Liz.” Feels too late to correct this? Should I just be Liz now to her? Go with it? —Leslie

Leslie. Thank you for this question. Life is full of these little incidences that appear trifling at first but can still feel totally monumental, isn’t it? There are so many aspects of this social quandary to turn over in one’s head—it can become a speedy path from “maybe I should just correct her” to “maybe I should just abscond with my things in the night.” I get it, this is probably very stressful for you! And while I wholly sympathize, my take on this is as succinct as it is potentially controversial: You’re Liz now.

I personally love a harmless yet thrilling lie, especially when it can be attached to an elaborate fantasy. Who is this Liz? What kind of doormat would she have? What assumptions would you want your neighbor to make about Liz that she wouldn’t make about Leslie? Why bother correcting her when you could just turn Liz into your own personal Sasha Fierce, your therapeutic alter-ego. You could use this “Liz” to your advantage, maybe Leslie won’t confront noisy neighbors at 2 a.m., but Liz might! This could be a Portkey into the life you’ve always wanted to live!

Don’t serial killers leave clues if they really want to be found out? Have you waved your mail in front of this person’s face? Sent them a holiday card with your name in big letters? Asked them what they think of the LESLIE Gore song “You Don’t Own Me?” If not, perhaps you are enjoying the thrill of your secret.

Here is where this advice is highly specific. If she thought your name was Rachel or Karen or Taylor or anything that doesn’t sound remotely like Leslie, I would say correct her. But you, my friend, have a built-in out. If she sees your mail and is like “Why didn’t you correct me after all of these years!” you can simply say “You were saying Liz? I thought you were saying Les!” and BOOM! The problem’s over. Everyone walks away with their dignity intact and you have a fun little story to tell yourself. A true win-win situation.

One other thing: Nobody should ask me for advice! I’m bad at living! For you, though, it really comes down to two things. Do you want short-term discomfort of correcting this woman (perhaps with an acknowledgment that it has been two whole years and yes you know that is a little ridiculous) or a long-term game of avoidance that causes you to be ever-so-slightly on edge indefinitely? That—Liz, Les, Leslie?—is your call.

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Reverse Layering: The Fun Way to Wear Old Pieces

One of my favorite things to do toward the end of a season—both out of necessity and for my own amusement—is to daydream about new ways to wear the clothes in my closet that are starting to feel old. I observe zero limits when it comes to the kinds of styling experiments this can entail, and to be honest, sometimes the results are surprising even to me.

The way I’ve been playing around with my clothes lately could be described as “reverse layering.” I might put a bra over a button-down or layer a bathing suit top over something I once wore as a plus-one to somebody’s wedding. Even when a combo doesn’t exactly work, it helps me see what’s in my closet differently—and that might lead to a completely new idea. You see where I’m going.

If you’re feeling that same “I can’t believe I’m saying this but I kind of wish it was fall already so I can wear literally anything else” feeling—I present five reverse layering ideas that just might inspire you to embrace bad summer before it’s too late.

Idea No. 1: Lace Bra Over a Men’s Shirt

This Lonely bra is actually what made me want to do this story, because it’s gorgeous and I was looking for a way to show it off to the masses. By layering it over a men’s button down, I’m simply combining feminine lingerie and masculine shirting, which makes the look fun and interesting to me. Whatever you elect to add on in the way of bottoms and footwear is just gravy.

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2. Swim Bandeau Over a Dress

I came to this styling trick because my dress was a bit big in the chest and I kept showing more than I intended. So, I wrapped a swim bandeau (this one has a tie in the back) to secure the bodice a bit better. In the event that the chest area of your dress needs no securing at all thankyouverymuch, might I recommend sliding the bandeau to your waist and wearing it as a sash belt?

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3. Tank Over a Sheer Shirt

I love this organza shirt from KkCo so much, but I keep finding myself wearing it with a simple tank underneath. So, I thought: why not layer the undershirt over the shirt and create a new silhouette? The shirt now billows under the hem of this plain tank, making a bit of a peplum. I paired the shirt/tank combo with pajama shorts and simple flats. If you don’t have an organza shirt like this one, try any sheer button down—it will have a similar effect.

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4. Skirt Over a Dress

You may remember this golden slip from the slip dress story Crystal and I styled, but you also may not because—worn with this midi skirt over as a strapless dress—I’ve totally transformed the damn thing. I love that the hems of both garments fishtail out, but you could do this with a slip skirt and slip dress and the look would be very cool too. I recommend choosing a skirt with an elastic waistband (which this one did not have) because it’s more giving as you slide it up to your armpits.

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5. Denim Shorts Over Swim Trunks

This is a look I’ve been singing to Harling about for months. If you layer swim trunks and athletic shorts—which are being worn a ton this summer—under your favorite pair of denim shorts, you have a new set of bottoms. Try folding the waistband of the under-layer over the shorts too. I didn’t think of that until right now.

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So, there you have it! Five ideas for wearing garments you already have in ways you may not have ever dreamed of wearing them. What other combos would you try? Drop ’em in the comments below, because you know I’m down to give them a shot.

Photos by Sabrina Santiago.

The post Reverse Layering: The Fun Way to Wear Old Pieces appeared first on Man Repeller.

The Mistake You’re Most Likely to Make, According to the Zodiac

Everyone makes mistakes… is something you’re likely to hear after f*cking up royally. Things are usually okay, although it never really feels like it at the time. And what’s worse? All of us are destined to screw up over and over, sometimes in the same exact way, until the end of our days. To help soothe the inevitable sting of guilt and shame, I’ve identified the most common mistakes every zodiac sign makes to help remind you that you’re in excellent company, even if you never quite break your bad habits.

Aries: Sticking with a bad decision because, hey, at least it’s a decision

You’re action-biased, Aries. Unlike Hamlet, you’re not known for long, contemplative spells and analysis-paralysis when faced with a choice. You like a bad decision way more than you like no decision. But just because it pains you to move backwards doesn’t mean you can’t—or shouldn’t—pivot when it’s clear you’re traveling in the wrong direction. Your astrological telos is to push forward, but that has to be balanced with strategic foresight. Even if “strategic foresight” sounds suspiciously like code for “gumming up the works on your grand plans”…

Taurus: Keeping strangers at arm’s length

Maybe you have enough friends, Taurus. But as the sign most resistant to change, you could probably stand to freshen up your inner circle. Your default response to new people is usually “not interested”—not because most people aren’t that interesting, but because you’re super comfortable with your regular cast and crew. But a recurring guest star will only add to the dynamic, so say yes to matcha lattes with your new work friend who also re-watches episodes of Buffy.

Gemini: Double-booking themselves

Oh Gemini, it’s almost not your fault. When you combine your natural lust for social stimulation with your epic disorganization, you inevitably end up in situations where you have to send texts like, “that was TODAY? SORRY leaving now!” It’s not that you don’t want to keep every plan you make, it’s just so much easier to say yes and then let it fly right out of your head until you’re forced to remember again. Usually by disappointing someone. Luckily, you’re great at being “on your way” while still in pajamas and a face mask.

Cancer: Being crabby about leaving your comfort zone

“Let’s just hang out at my place,” is what you sound like when you’re really enjoying someone’s company. If not, then you probably peaced out without anyone noticing. But either way, for you, all roads lead back to the homestead. You’re forever in pursuit of security, and like the crab who carries their house on their back, you usually have a first-aid kit, gummy vitamins, and tissues on your person. But when you’re out of supplies, or worse, when you’re too far from home for too long, that’s when you get really grumpy and those pincers come out.

Leo: Spending your problems away

Even a Taurus doesn’t love retail therapy as much as you do, because they are slowly investing in quality basics, while you are reinventing your whole damn self, Leo. When it’s go time—meaning you’re in the wake of a fresh heartbreak, moving to a new city, switching careers, or it’s just Wednesday—you’re ready to evolve into the next iteration of yourself. And that iteration needs a whole new wardrobe, because her aesthetic is highly developed, and your process is outside-in. Should you have to spend some money to bring yourself to life, so be it. Leos are all about shedding their skin and finding a new, more expensive self underneath. If you’re not broke by the end of Leo season, you’re not really doing Leo season.

Virgo: Speaking to others in the same tone they use to speak to themselves

Virgos, you’re often too hard on yourselves. No one meets your incredibly high standards (if they could, you’d just raise them higher), and you notice everything that falls short. Your internal monologue can feel like an endless scolding. And because Virgos have incredibly high integrity, you like to treat everyone the same. But rather than turn your acid tongue loose on others, which may rapidly dissolve their self-esteem, try to resolve the inconsistency in favor of being a little nicer to yourself. Your friends will really, really appreciate it.

Libra: Ghosting when it gets too awkward

Libras, I know it’s easier to disappear into a cloud of texting ellipses when things get awkward, but let’s reconsider, shall we? As the natural diplomats and social chairs of the zodiac, your talent is grace, charm and making everything nice. So any disruptions in that carefully cultivated ambiance isn’t merely unpleasant for you—it’s simply not done. But not every confrontation has to escalate into something ugly. The experience of working through a misunderstanding together can yield a more beautiful, complex dynamic built on trust. So let’s please stay friends even after you’ve read this paragraph.

Scorpio: One-upping when threatened

A little one-upping never hurt anyone, right, Scorpio? That depends on how often you lean on that lever. The thing is, a little friendly competition with you rarely stays little or friendly. You’re one of the most powerfully intuitive and sensitive signs in the zodiac, which makes you a fearsome opponent and powerful ally. But even among friends, you can be susceptible to insecurity about your place in the dynamic. Any sense that someone is digging at you will trigger your instincts to passive-aggressively dominate them. Try occasionally letting them “win,” just to see what happens. Does it seem like they are playing the same game you are? Were the digs really digs after all? It’s hard for you to lower the drawbridge and trust in the best intentions of others, but the risk may actually be far higher for assuming the worst.

Sagittarius: Doubling down on being tactless

Everyone puts their foot in their mouth sometimes, Sagittarius, but not everyone defends it to the death like you do. You’re usually ready to take one flippant remark and extrapolate some larger theoretical framework wherein you are totally justified for what you said. Because you’re so intellectual and competitive, your rhetorical dexterity is an effective flex. But before you take up arms, check in with how it might feel to be on the other side. Apologizing might be less fun than winning, but it’s way better than losing a friend and having to ponder why.

Capricorn: Getting off on not having fun

This one is only arguably a problem, Capricorns. You might have the most fun by not having fun, because it allows you to wear the posture of a curmudgeon, which is… pretty fun. Maggie Smith in Downton Abbey, Hugh Laurie in House, every iteration of Mr. Darcy, Julia Louis-Dreyfus in anything. You get the aesthetic. Capricorns tend to be serious and professional, even in relaxed settings, and it’s only natural for you to play up your haughty demeanor—even if it’s not quite as delightful for everyone else. If you let your hair down once in a while, you might actually enjoy hanging out as one of the people. It’ll make you appreciate your perch even more.

Aquarius: Making extreme first impressions on purpose

Aquarians, you waste no time when you meet someone new. No matter how high-stakes the introduction may be (potential in-law, boss, client), you’re looking to figure out whether or not they can handle you. Will they flinch at your off-color joke or chime in? If you make a pointed observation, will they appreciate your boldness or get defensive? Putting aside the legitimacy of your inquiry, and the unseen personal variables at play that may distort the validity of your results, it’s good to keep in mind that people are not science experiments. However innocent, playful, or loving your intentions may be—and they usually are, as the zodiac’s humanitarian—try not to intentionally shock people as soon as you meet them. You can deliver your joke on the second meeting.

Pisces: Never letting go of an ex

It’s romantic to say you’ll never stop loving someone and then actually never stop loving them. But usually after a relationship ends, the healthiest thing is to truly let go. For you Pisces, the struggle is always between quotidien concerns and grand romantic ideals. You have no desire to live in a world without greater meaning, where your lived experience doesn’t connect you to a higher purpose. What the f*ck would be the point of all these feelings, then, right? But sometimes an emotional injury simply needs a bandage and time. Not every promise you’ve ever uttered in an oxytocin haze is sacred. Sometimes the gods don’t want you to suffer. Sometimes all they ask is that you delete their number, put on some sunscreen, and go to lunch with your mom. Like the normal and extraordinary human being you are.

Graphic by Madeline Montoya.

The post The Mistake You’re Most Likely to Make, According to the Zodiac appeared first on Man Repeller.

20 Times I “Did Something That Scared Me” and It Didn’t Work Out

They say you should do something that scares you every day, and they often say it in script superimposed on a photo of a woman hiking. But sometimes something scares you because it’s a very bad idea and you should not do it. I’ve learned this lesson by way of many ill-advised decisions, which were made in part under the guise of proving to myself that fear has no place in my emotional toolkit. Turns out it occasionally very much does.

Below, a list of times it might’ve behooved me to heed it over the course of my twenties, an exorcism I’ve been called to perform in honor of my 30th birthday today. Allow yourself to imagine it in Curlz MT superimposed on a photo of a cat in a wig.

1. The time I dyed my long hair dark brown and looked exactly like Moaning Myrtle, age 20.

2. The time I snooped in my ex-boyfriend’s desk drawer while “looking for a pen” and found a pro/con list about me that declared me “cute” and “unadventurous.” Age 20.

3. The time I told my parents I was dating a guy who was 10 years older than me, divorced, and the father of two children. Age 21.

4. The time I sent an email to my entire company and accidentally included a photo of my friend cooking in his underwear. Age 22.

5. The era during which I let my hamster Judy Dench run free around my apartment under the belief that it was the only time she was truly happy, a privilege that ultimately resulted in her death. Age 23.

6. The time I dropped acid and lived 100 years in 10 minutes. Age 24.

7. The time I “dared to put down roots” by moving to a quieter neighborhood and investing in a car. Within 18 months, I would move away and sell the car. Age 25.

8. The time I adopted a second cat on a whim in a pathetic attempt to prove I was spontaneous—a cat who did not get along with Bug and was generally a bad idea. Age 26.

9. The one time I answered “yes” when my doctor asked if I’d ever done recreational drugs, a decision I thought was evolved, but simply earned me a lecture. Age 26.

10. The time I got a spray tan for my sister’s bachelorette party and woke up the next day looking…how to put this?…problematic. Age 26.

11. The time I accepted the position of maid of honor for my sister’s wedding and forgot to bring the rings to the ceremony, resulting in the wedding party subtly slipping off their rings and passing them down the line until I had 12 rings in my hands, which I passed to the officiant when asked. Age 26.

12. The time I moved into a basement with no windows or doors because “it had so much space,” then spent the year whining about having no light or privacy and having too much space. Age 27.

13. The time I went platinum blond, which ruined my hair and made my skin look inexplicably pink. Age 27.

14. The time I went to Paris by myself using a ticket purchased for an anniversary trip that would never be, thinking I would “find myself,” but in reality finding myself alone and crying in a foreign country during the results of the 2016 presidential election. Age 27.

15. The time I went to a yacht party alone and proceeded to nervous-drink several cans of rosé and later suffer from the worst hangover of my life, during which I was sure I’d disappointed my mom (?). Age 27.

16. The time I boldly didn’t double-check the amount of salt I was supposed to put into rice krispy treats, using ¼ cup instead of ¼ teaspoon, resulting in a dessert my boyfriend dubbed “rice krispy punishments.” Age 28.

17. The time I read gossip about myself on the internet and experienced my first panic attack. Age 28.

18. That summer I cut all my favorite pants into mediocre shorts. Age 28.

19. The time I watched honey comb mukbang with my boyfriend out of morbid curiosity, resulting in a mental/aural image I have yet to escape. Age 29.

20. Every time I’ve taken a shot after 2 a.m. Ages 20-29.

Feel to add your own.

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Mushrooms: More of ‘A Thing’ Than Ever Before

Right now, I have a seven-pound bag of organic mycelium substrate inoculating under my kitchen sink. This experiment in home mushroom cultivation is yet another symptom of my abiding hippie-in-the-city existence that has also involved ecstatic breathwork, reiki certification, sourdough bread baking, and concocting herbal tinctures. In lieu of a barn, ten acres of land, and a veggie patch, I have decided to grow mushrooms in my brownstone.

For the uninitiated, mycelium substrate is essentially a compost that fertilizes fungi, and in a couple of weeks (after a diligent process that involves poking holes in the bag, exposing it to sunlight, and spraying it with water twice a day), this “fruiting block” should produce delicate oyster mushrooms that will look too pretty to eat, but that I will sprinkle with salt, fry in butter, and serve for dinner anyway.

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And it’s not just me. Mushrooms are having a moment. Specifically, the aesthetically-pleasing heirloom varieties such as pink oyster, lion’s mane, hen of the woods, and pioppini, which are sprouting up everywhere, from The Standard, East Village—proud home of the world’s first in-hotel mushroom farm—to the ingredient list in your face serum. And, as our instagram feeds become saturated with arty fruit still lifes and ikebana florals, mushrooms are the latest natural wonder that also happen to be highly photogenic. With their intricate bluish-gray, bright yellow, and salmon-hued tendrils; velvety brown caps, and amorphous, pillowy white forms, these sculptural organisms are a world away from the generic slimy, bleached button mushrooms of yore.

How did we go from consuming sad, industrialized mushrooms to eating rare beauties worthy of an Irving Penn photo spread? Perhaps it’s just the same Instagramification that upgraded our gas station carnations to ethereal flower arrangements. Or, maybe it’s a sign of a deeper cultural zeitgeist. Organic urban mushroom farmers Andrew Carter and Adam DeMartino of Smallhold, who developed the high-tech “minifarm” at The Standard and also grow mushrooms on site at New York restaurants such as Mission Chinese and Maison Yaki, believe the latter is true. “We’re in a paradigm shift,” DeMartino says. “And us noticing mushrooms more is emblematic of that.”

We’re really only beginning to learn about the mushroom kingdom and what it can tell us about life on earth.

I’ve always been captivated by the mysteriousness of mushrooms. The idea of imbibing something so anthropologically unknown is seductive. They hint at a portal into another dimension, making one feel as if the boundaries of reality aren’t so limited. Not a plant and not an animal—mushrooms are their own singular species and food group. In fact, we’re really only beginning to learn about the mushroom kingdom and what it can tell us about life on earth. Did mushrooms come from space? Were they here before humans? (To answer those questions and more, may I point you in the direction of the work of Paul Stamets, the American mycologist, author, and advocate of bioremediation and medicinal fungi?) Of course, we know how psychedelic mushrooms changed the course of this country, and we’re having another countercultural wave now, but that’s a topic for another article (please request I write a follow up story on the magic variety—thanks!).

Some scientists posit that fungi have flourished on Earth for more than 2 billion years, and cultures around the world have eaten or used mushrooms medicinally for centuries, dating back to ancient Egypt. Legend has it that a melon farmer in 16th century France discovered button mushrooms on his manure pile and decided to propagate them. Production made its way across the Atlantic to America in the 19th century and the US is now the second largest grower of mushrooms, behind China. While around 2,000 known edible fungi exist, we currently only grow around 10 types commercially.

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And while we’re looking at a future where fungi could be the new cacti (how long until Urban Outfitters starts selling home mushroom kits?), maybe the most exciting thing about the organism is its potential to solve the world’s food crisis. Mushrooms are an incredibly sustainable, economically viable, vegan nutrition source. Unlike, say, carrots or peas, they are what Brooklyn-based chef and shroom enthusiast Tara Norvell calls a “center-of-the-plate” ingredient, which she roasts whole like chicken, breads into nuggets, blends into cake batter, and serves up like steak. When eaten fresh, heirloom mushrooms have a meaty texture and unique flavor profiles, contrary to their bland reputation.

By eating them, it’s assumed this superpower will rub off on us too.

The wellness industry, too, prizes mushrooms as a panacea for everything from cancer to cognitive function. Many varieties, such as reishi, cordyceps, lion’s mane, chaga, and tremella are known as adaptogens or “superfoods”—species that are able to withstand nature’s harsh conditions. By eating them, it’s assumed this superpower will rub off on us too. But even the more familiar grocery store mushrooms like shiitake, oyster, and enoki have incredible nutritional benefits as a source of protein that contains B vitamins, selenium, potassium, copper, and (particularly when exposed to the sun) vitamin D.

As we become more familiar with technologically controlled in-situ mushroom farms like Smallhold’s (which look like a blue-light emitting piece of mid-century modern cabinetry), it may only be a matter of time before well-heeled hippies want them installed in their homes as both interior decoration and culinary novelty, too. The future, friends, is fungi.

Photographed by . 

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You Look Moist: A 64-Year-Old Who Avoids “Anti-Aging” Products

Welcome to You Look Moist, a regular column wherein Man Repeller asks cool people with glowing visages how they achieved their supreme hydration (amongst other things). Today’s installment features Sarah Jane Adams, a self-employed businesswoman who spends her time designing jewelry, modeling, and public speaking. She just finished her first book, Life in a Box, which is being released in April.

How would you describe your skin?

Being post-menopausal, the word “moist” is rarely used to describe me or my body, including the skin which holds it all together. Consequently, skincare generally (and more specifically for the face) is all about moisturizing for me these days. I’m very fortunate that I’ve never suffered from acne, breakouts, excessive oil, or dryness. I embrace the wrinkles that have appeared naturally over time, and reckon my skin is in pretty good shape.

How would you describe your skincare approach in general?

My external skincare routine is a lot of over-exfoliation and over-moisturizing. My approach is basic and low-maintenance to the point that it’s almost non-existent. I never have professional facials or treatments of any kind. I have my own facial routine, which I generally do every two weeks or so. I start by steaming my face whilst sitting in a hot bath. Then, I apply copious amounts of oil to my hot, wet skin. The next step is a major pore cleanse, specifically around the nose and chin area, using a little tool I found in Thailand (similar here.) I’ve found that the best extractions are achieved when my skin is supple, oily, and moist. Then I exfoliate again with exfoliating gloves, towel dry my face, and apply oil again. I follow this with lashings of moisturizer, which I massage into my face with warm hands, applying more and more until all excess has been absorbed, leaving my skin deeply cleansed, very smooth, and supple. I do not use sunscreen, nor do I wear hats.

 

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A post shared by Sarah Jane Adams (@saramaijewels) on Apr 18, 2019 at 8:41am PDT

What skincare products are integral to your routine for achieving your ideal, glowing, well-moisturized complexion, and how/when do you use each of them?

+Exfoliating gloves, used daily.

+A’kin Invigorating Facial Scrub, which, despite the instructions to use 1-2 times a week, l use almost daily.

+A’kin Rosehip Oil, applied a minimum of twice daily.

+A’kin Intense Hydration Day and Night Cream used frequently, whenever required, and throughout the day if necessary.

To be fully transparent, though I am not endorsed, paid, sponsored, or in any commercial way linked to A’kin, or any other product, I am offered a multitude of items because of my Instagram following. There are many reasons I choose A’kin over the many other lotions and potions that are sent to me. Basically, I love the product for its simplicity of ingredients, promises, presentation, and, of course, because IT WORKS! Despite my chaotic appearance, I am ridiculously organized, and the concept of mixing products from different producers is akin (!) to driving me crazy (excuse the pun, I basically get too confused mixing various skin products, preferring a holistic approach with one brand). I have devised a quick sorting method to find products I like by immediately dismissing those that advertise the following: Any mention of the word AGE (in particular, anything with the phrase “anti-aging,” which seemingly implies that we are anti aging itself), unnecessary or profuse packaging, print that’s too small to be readable, and explanations that are too complicated or scientific.

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A post shared by Sarah Jane Adams (@saramaijewels) on Jun 25, 2019 at 10:27am PDT

What about makeup products?

My makeup consists solely of a bold lip. I have no brand affinity, and generally mix 2-3 different lipsticks and colors to get the depth and shade I want. My current favorites are: Revlon Super Lustrous Lipstick Creme 440 ‘Cherries in the Snow,’ Lancome L’Absolu Rouge 378 ‘Rose,’ Bite Beauty Amuse Bouche Lipstick ‘Sour Cherry,’ and Lancome Matte Shaker 378 ‘Pink Power.’ I don’t use any makeup of any sort on my face, I never have. I used to wear Maybelline mascara, but recently decided to bleach my straggly, graying eyebrows bright white, and they now make enough of a statement that I no longer feel the need to wear mascara.

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What’s the cheapest product you use regularly and love?

Bite Beauty Agave+ Daytime Vegan Lip Balm, which I use day and night when not wearing lipstick.

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Is there anything you try to avoid, skincare- or makeup-wise?

I avoid any unnatural products. I prefer using vegan, organic, pure products. Even when doing shoots for work, I try to request that nothing too “heavy” is used on my skin. (I believe wrinkles are accentuated by makeup.)

Any next-level tips, tricks, or services that you swear by to help you look “lit from within”?

Again, keep it simple. Get plenty of sleep, exercise, fresh air, sun, fresh, raw veggies, grains, nuts, and water. Don’t smoke, don’t drink alcohol. Smile and laugh a lot. Those are laughter lines, not wrinkles!

What’s your go-to product or trick for fixing a skin disaster?

I’m blessed in that I don’t have skin disasters. Moisturizer is all I need.

Do you do anything differently skincare-wise when you travel?

I always add a nail scrubbing brush and a natural pumice stone to my travel bag, but other than that my routine stays the same wherever I am.

What’s something you wish your teenage-self knew about taking care of your skin?

As a teenager growing up in the 60s and 70s, there was little information and few skincare products to choose from. I did not understand the importance of moisturizing, incorrectly believing that using creams on the face only led to blocked pores, pimples, or blackheads. I had a face “steam-cleaner,” which I occasionally used to help soften my skin to clear blackheads around the nose area, but I wish I had realized that moisturizing is basically where it’s at. A girl can never be too moist.

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Why Is the Moon So Hot Right Now?

Is it just me or is the moon like everywhere right now? I mean, it’s in one place—the sky—and it’s been there for a while, since the big bang. But it’s having a wider cultural moment! And I’m not just talking about the anniversary of the (alleged, if you’re my dad) moon landing, which put that big beautiful orb back on the front pages of national newspapers where it belongs; I’m talking about its reemergence in casual conversation. Its phases being referenced and cherished. Its power being discussed and honored by folks who may not be steeped in moon-centered traditions or ethos. Its monthly newness the cause for ritual and celebration (speaking of which, we’ll be celebrating the next new moon at MRHQ on the 28th and you should come).
There she is: Jenn Tardif! Photograph by Maya Moverman

In order to understand this “moon” and her rise (lol) a bit more, I spoke to Jenn Tardif, founder of 3rd Ritual—a community-focused company that celebrates ritual, objects, and mindful content and the leader of our recent New Moon, New You event (which is happening again on August 28th, tix here). We covered what it’s like to run your own wellness business (including the pressure of staying chill when relaxation is a part of your job) and, of course, dished about the gal everyone wants to know (I’m talking about the moon again).

What does the moon represent and why is it important?

In Chinese cosmology, the moon is linked to Yin energy—that which is passive, receptive and cooling—whereas the sun is linked to Yan energy—that which is expansive, active, and warming. The moon is linked to femininity (think menstrual cycles) and water (think the tides) and I’ve always thought of it as a beautiful reminder that all patterns repeat. When the moon is full, it marks the completion of a cycle, whereas a new moon represents its beginning, making both ideal markers for ritual, setting the stage to let go of beliefs or habits that no longer serve you, or making room for new beginnings and intentions that do.

What led you into the wellness space?

My relationship with ritual started very early. When my mom died when I was five, I started putting myself to bed with a series of small acts that helped me feel safe. Although I didn’t have the language at the time, looking back it’s clear that this was the very seed that eventually bloomed into a lifelong spiritual pursuit.

Our thesis is that if you move half as fast, you notice twice as much.

I first found yoga in high school, but had to find it again after my first panic attack, and again after my first heartbreak, before it would weave its way into every facet of my being. I’ve always been drawn to teachers who truly practice what they preach—to those who marry mysticism with science, and esoteric dialogue with modern metaphor—and have had the great privilege of studying under some of the best in the world. I don’t fall into one specific lineage, but instead, pull from different traditions spanning Traditional Chinese Medicine and aromatherapy, with an emphasis on the tools and techniques that resonate most.

Why did you start 3rd Ritual?

I’ve witnessed time and time again the positive effects that practices like yoga and aromatherapy can have on our emotional and mental wellbeing so I made a lifelong commitment to share them with anyone curious enough to learn more.

After years spent leading what felt like a dual life—working in tech by day and teaching yoga by night—I was excited to marry innovation and reverence by creating tools and experiences that are as beautiful as they are authentic, and as simple as they are sacred.

At the core of everything we do, from the products we create to the rituals we lead, the thesis behind 3rd Ritual is that if you move half as fast, you notice twice as much. I wholeheartedly believe that there is so much magic in this world, we just have to teach ourselves how to see it.

What are the rewards and challenges of running a business like Ritual?

It’s ironic, but building a mindful business is admittedly one of the most stressful things I’ve ever done. Thankfully, the very practices that we promote are also catalysts for cultivating resilience and equanimity no matter what comes your way. The hardest days are usually when I’ve started believing a story that isn’t true or isolating myself by comparing our trajectory with someone else’s. The antidote is the present which I return to by way of simple acts like deepening my breath, smelling MOON (shameless plug of our body lotion, but it’s real), or listing everything I’m grateful for.

In a culture that’s addicted to doing, I love that the moon is a reminder to be still.

We are so lucky to have such an amazing 3rd Ritual community. The feedback we receive on a daily basis about the many ways in which our offering is helping and even, dare I say it, healing, has cemented the idea for me that building something with integrity takes time. That, and I could not/would not do it alone, so to finally answer your question: the greatest reward is collaborating with some of the kindest and most talented people on earth, and the greatest challenge is finding them.

How can people integrate the moon more into their lives? And why should they?

In a culture that’s addicted to doing, I love that the moon is a reminder to be still. When the sun is out there’s this pressure to make the most of the day, to go outside, to be social, whereas the moonlight offers a bit of a reprieve from performing where there is less forcing and more feeling. The moon is a beautiful reminder to slow down, reflect, and act with intention. New moons signify new beginnings, so they pair well with ritual acts like intention-setting or vision mapping, whereas full moons mark the end of a cycle and can, therefore, prompt a personal review i.e. how have things been lately? What’s working and what isn’t?

Oh and in case you didn’t know, there’s a full moon tonight. Take your newly acquired moon knowledge, go forth and feel some lunar vibes.

The post Why Is the Moon So Hot Right Now? appeared first on Man Repeller.

The Little Women Trailer Is Out and I’m Sweating

This morning, 8:02 a.m.

I wake up in a cold sweat, reach for my phone, its alarm bleating, and search: “littlewb women.trailer” in my browser.

Why? Because yesterday I crushed my phone in a vice grip after seeing via Florence Pugh’s Instagram that it—the 2019 Greta Gerwig adaptation of Little Women starring Saoirse Ronan (WEEP), Timothée Chalamet (SOB), Meryl Streep (SNIFFLE), Laura Dern (WHIMPER), Florence Pugh (BAWL)—is slated to arrive TODAY.

And yet, there’s nothing.

8:20 a.m.

I go through the motions of getting dressed and imagine Timothée in a flowing white shirt standing next to me à la BBC Pride and Prejudice Darcy while I pick at my face in the bathroom. He would smack my hand and tell me to “stop that.”

9:12 a.m.

On my commute, I see rumblings of the trailer coming out at noon. NOON. CRUELTY hath a name and it is GRETA GERWIG and, like, the press ppl, for this movie for making me wait three hours.

9:43 a.m.

I pull up the press pictures from the film and linger on the one where Laurie (Tim) is seemingly tightening Amy’s (Florence Pugh’s) corset. If this were 1868 I’d call it porn.

10:20 a.m.

I turn to Twitter (the den of nerds! the hotbed of impatience!) to find answers, where instead I find a fleet of people commiserating with my plight. Unconventional life hack: If you are ever anticipating anything, even slightly, go to Twitter and find your people. I feel my heart rate accelerating as I dive deeper.

Every minute I go without seeing the Little Women trailer I lose a little bit of myself

— zoe christen jones (@zoectjones) August 13, 2019

where is the little women trailer pic.twitter.com/YBvPD6yYbA

— daniel taroy (@danieltaroy) August 13, 2019

little women trailer when pic.twitter.com/ttgu8KCOay

— elissa (@bIacberries) August 13, 2019

don’t talk to me today unless it’s directly related to the little women trailer. thank you

— marianna (@itsmariannnna) August 13, 2019

never thought i'd be furiously refreshing the little women twitter for the trailer to drop and yet here we are

— bettina makalintal (@bettinamak) August 13, 2019

how many more minutes until little women resurrects me

— hunter harris (@hunteryharris) August 13, 2019

The two states I exist in this morning is pre Little Women trailer and post Little Women trailer

— Tin Tin Queerantino (@ZestyKaleChips) August 13, 2019

I need the Little Women trailer to drop so I can move on with my life.

— Alyssa Fikse (@lyssiefikse) August 13, 2019

.@RealChalamet's silence over little women is deafening

— carol (@biglittlewomen) August 13, 2019

11:50 a.m.

This. Black coffee is swirling in my stomach. It feels like a jazz band in there.

little women trailer in 10 minutes pic.twitter.com/hrYCuB3PGz

— who dat… (@mysterioluv) August 13, 2019

11:57 a.m.

Then THIS. I’m literally covered in goose pimples that are only 40% a product of too much AC in the office. I pop in headphones.

little women trailer in 3 minutes pic.twitter.com/Qj6IhUzLgy

— brié (@tinytimothee_) August 13, 2019

12 p.m.

BLESSED BE SHE’S HERE. I proceed to write down every feeling that comes into my head over the course of 2 minutes and 34 seconds, as time-stamped below:

This Christmas, own your story.

Two Years Ago You All Hated My Money Diary. Here’s How I’m Spending Now

In 2017, I wrote a Man Repeller Money Diary entitled “A Week That Went Up in Flames.” At the time, I was halfway through my undergraduate degree in finance, had virtually no expenses, and was working steadily year-round, with some side hustles going at the same time. Newly 20 years old, I was thrilled to have an abundance of what I perceived to be totally disposable income and I spent it with abandon. New clothes, meals at restaurants, gifts for friends, nights out, trips abroad—I bought whatever I wanted. At one point, I had a package arriving almost every single day.

Needless to say, mistakes were made.

After the story went live, and commenters rightfully called out my irresponsible attitude towards money, a spark was lit: I started to think more about personal finance—a subject I knew very little about despite studying financial institutions, markets, and investment theory as part of my major. I eased myself into a different money mindset with books like my mom’s 1993 copy of The Wealthy Barber (which, while outdated, was a good jumping-off point); podcasts like Mad Money w/ Jim Cramer; and video series from The Dave Ramsey Show and The Graham Stephan Show (I love his Millionaire Reacts series) to real young-adult budget overviews like CNBC’s Millennial Money and Glamour’s Honest Accounts and Money Tours. Slowly, these resources helped me reorient my relationship with spending, saving, and investing, and thank god they did, because my life, and my income, was about to change.

In order to graduate, I had to quit my job to complete my last few courses over summer. Then I got into law school, which came with super-high tuition, rent, and other expenses—costs my parents were no longer going to cover. In the course of a year, both by means of determination and necessity, I transformed from a freewheeling spender into a scrupulous saver.

Here’s what a week of spending looks like for me now:

Sunday is when I do my shopping for the week. I found this great lentil soup recipe that’s a dupe of my favorite branded soup. I modified it to fit my tastes, and I figured out that a small bag of lentils can last me about a week if I make this recipe every day. I’m allergic to many things, so I cook almost all my meals at home, meatless and eggless. Cooking everything myself is good for my health and my wallet.Nothing spent on Monday—snagged free parking and took the train the rest of the way to school for my summer classes. I ate bananas and blueberries from my fridge for brunch along with some steel-cut oats. (I can’t stomach food early in the morning, so I typically eat one meal between the times of breakfast and lunch.) For dinner, I had the barley I bought yesterday with the mixed veggies and ginger, doused in spices.A big goose egg for today too! Did the same public transit routine and made my lentil soup for both of my meals.

I can’t afford to splash out on expensive meals anymore, but I still like to go out with friends and bond over delicious food, so sometimes I get a big appetizer instead. This dish of the most amazing fries is so big it’s basically an entrée.

I’m a points wizard—I always sign up for loyalty cards for places I frequent that allow you to earn points for every dollar you spend, and my favorites are the ones that allow you to convert points into discounts off regularly priced items. They’re especially great at places where you need to spend money anyway, like grocery stores. Today I cashed out a bunch of my accumulated points to pay for a book I’ve been eyeing for weeks. I don’t buy every book I want—I have a lot of PDF copies of different novels—but every once in a while I treat myself to the luxury of a hardcover or paperback.Ari Aster’s new film was pretty weird, but in a good way—and being able to see it with my friend at a locally owned theatre using an additional student discount made it even better. I’m definitely very careful about where my money goes, but I don’t like to let my budgeting stop me from having fun. Enjoying little things with my friends keeps me sane.

Paying for gas makes me wince every time, but it’s a necessity. I don’t live in a place that has super convenient public transit access, so I generally need to drive to a station or bus stop before I can go anywhere.Another day of mostly studying. I realize that I’m becoming kind of boring, but I guess it’s paying off in a literal sense. My date night with my boyfriend this Friday consisted of staying in and watching Netflix specials we have on our watch lists while eating pasta and leftover ice cream cake.My friend’s going-away is a special occasion, but I saved by getting a cheaper entrée. Maximizing points and free perks also made a difference today—usually a regularly priced real fruit bubble tea will cost me upwards of $7. Remembering my stamp cards and coupons can really pay off!

Let’s see how the damage compares to my last report…Changing my spending habits was hard, but I’m glad to see it got me the results I wanted. Could I be saving more? Yes, of course. But to me, being fiscally responsible doesn’t have to mean cutting out every last thing that brings me joy—that was an important distinction I had to learn. I’m lucky to not be in the position of fixating on every cent, but I do have to track and be mindful of my money. I think about it every day.

Spending used to be like a drug to me: I was thrilled to have money for the first time, and buying things was a high I’d never felt before. As with any beloved habit, change was uncomfortable but necessary.

What were your biggest financial lessons and breakthroughs, and how did you learn them? Drop your money-related tips and tricks in the comments below—I’m always looking for new ones!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The post Two Years Ago You All Hated My Money Diary. Here’s How I’m Spending Now appeared first on Man Repeller.

My Favorite Secret Single Behaviors, in No Particular Order

It was the one and only Carrie Bradshaw, she of questionable puns and dramatic ellipses fame, who coined the term “Secret Single Behavior” to describe the stuff you relish doing when you are home alone. Carrie’s SSB of choice is eating a stack of saltines spread with grape jelly whilst standing up in her kitchen and reading fashion magazines. Mine is putting on an old, oversized T-shirt (no pants) and filling my online shopping cart with clothes I’ll probably never buy.

Two years ago, Haley asked the readers of Man Repeller to share theirs, and I recently revisited the 150+ comments when I started thinking about “Secret Single Behavior” in the context of Mistakes Month. So many of the things we choose to do alone, whether forgoing pants or a plate to catch saltine crumbs, might seem like lapses in judgment–a flagrant act of self-indulgence, a diversion from more important to-dos, a sticky mess–which is precisely why they’re worth doing. There is no sweeter freedom than entertaining a ridiculous whim for no reason other than the thrill of it.

In honor of that sentiment, please enjoy the below roundup of some of Man Repeller readers’ most-cited Secret Single Behaviors, for which we have created accompanying outfits that you can wear while enacting them–just in case an oversized T-shirt (no pants) (<< can’t stress this enough) isn’t going to cut it.

Taking Dozens of Selfies

If I showed you my camera roll on a given morning, you are likely to witness my preferred form of modern art: dozens of iPhone selfies, taken with very little variation in pretty much the exact same spot while wearing the exact same lime green turtleneck (or whatever!). I would attempt to explain why it’s important that I capture my chin at every angle that exists on an imaginary protractor, but my work is about as original as a single photo plucked from the fleet of nearly identical cousins that encircle it. You get it.

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Spending the Entire Day in Home Clothes

Ahhhh, the sweet, sweet delight of wearing your most absurdly comfy clothes in the privacy of your home. No, they don’t go together, and no, they are probably not fit for public consumption, but these realities only add to their appeal. A velour sweatshirt? Sure! Pool slides? Throw ’em on. Shorts so short you can barely see them? HUMMINA HUMMINA. The ultimate celebration of sartorial mistake-making, at your service.

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Eating Nutella Straight From the Jar

Is it just me, or does Nutella taste 100000% better when you eat it with a spoon straight from the jar? I mean, I won’t say no to a lovingly prepared Nutella + PB sandwich, but give me an empty jar and a kitchen utensil (honestly a ladle would be fine), and I’m a happy camper. This is prime Secret Single Behavior for germophobes like me who don’t want other people catching onto the fact that just because we are eating out of the Nutella jar with a spoon doesn’t mean that everyone in the vicinity can do so as well. It’s a personal jar, TYSM.

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Conducting a Private Dance Party for One

As fun as it is to get low on a dance floor with friends, there is a special thrill to the solo dance-off hosted by you, yourself, and your guiltiest pleasure of a Spotify playlist. You can wiggle your best jiggle free from the scrutiny of potential eye-rolls, well-intentioned or not. You can gyrate like a wind-up toy and body roll like a piece of spaghetti. You can sing out loud even if you don’t know the words. You can put on a shiny pink dress for the occasion, or a fleece onesie, or your birthday suit. It takes two to tango, but it only takes one to party.

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Trying on Everything in Your Closet

You know that dangerous trap when you have no idea what to wear and you have no time constraints in which to figure it out!? It’s dangerous because it means you can try on as many outfits as you please without the nagging worry that you have to decide somewhat soon or else you’ll be late. It’s dangerous because after a while what used to be your bed or your floor has now become a rainbow of garments that will have to be folded later by your alter ego Tiffany, but you can think about that later! Because the time is now, not then, and now you’re wearing nothing but underwear and high-heels and it feels just right.

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Giving Marie Kondo a Run for Her Joy

I’ll confess: Rampant organization is very far from my Secret Single Behavior of choice, but oh how I wish that was not the case. Imagine if my greatest solo indulgence was tidying! Imagine! I know it’s possible, because such is the case for a few of my beloved friends who feel more like enemies when they recount their passionate affairs with Mrs. Meyer’s and a sponge, or the satisfaction of their eternal longing to empty a fruit bowl and organize its contents in the order of a Fibonacci sequence. To each her own–but I’ll still take the sheer pink hat and monochrome orange ‘fit.

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Now that we’re all in the mood, let’s do this one more time: What’s your Secret Single Behavior these days? Bonus points if you share what you wear while doing it.

5 PHOTOS
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Stylist / Director: Monica Morales

Photographer: Daniel Nadal at DLM

Videographer: Gemma De Maria at Chic Model Management 

Makeup: Claire Thompson

Hair: Kyye Reed at Work Agency

Talent: Agi Akur at IMG

Photographer Assistant: Seok-Ho Yoon

Stylist Assistant: Gemma Brookes

The post My Favorite Secret Single Behaviors, in No Particular Order appeared first on Man Repeller.