David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 185

Tremendous Opportunity In Arnold Schwarzenegger Being Named Host Of ‘Celebrity Apprentice’

I’ve just heard that Arnold Schwarzenegger has been named the new host of Celebrity Apprentice. That seemed kind of weird. I don’t really think of him as a businessman, though I’m sure he is one. I always thought of him more as an action star, perhaps a little bit as a governor. Regardless, there is a tremendous opportunity here.

You all remember Trump’s catchphrase for the series of apprentice shows, “You’re fired?” Remember this?

See the possibilities? Man, I hope the network doesn’t let something like this slip through their fingers. It’s perfect. I might actually watch.

Come Hear Me Read Friday The 18th?

Hey, want to hear me read? I’ll be reading this Friday September 18, 2015 at the National Beat Poetry Festival at The Collection 9801 E Colfax Ave, #120, Aurora, Colorado 80010. I’m not really a poet, and not really a beat one at that. Still, I’ll be reading. I’m planning on reading a short story. I’ll be reading though. Why not come on out?

The readers for the event include Jack C. Buck, Rachel Poetry, Steven Dunn, me, Lorenzo James, William Seward Bonnie, and Arielle Roberts. Should be a good time. Give it a thought.

Here’s a brief description of the event:

Come to The Collection September 18th @ 8 PM to listen to a crop of young poets (and flash fiction and authors) dedicated to advancing and furthering the dynamics of poetry and all of its sub-genres and traditions,including but not limited too the Beat Movement.

 

It Is Not Fall Yet

It is not fall yet. It is still summer. Some people apparently need to be told about this.

I know, I know. We’ve gotten to the point that we mentally associate September with fall. However, fall does not begin until September 23 in the northern hemisphere. Regardless of the arrival of pumpkin spice lattes, it is not yet fall. It’s summer.

Can’t we finish with one thing before immediately turning to the next? We spend so much of our present moments in anticipation for the next that our lives will be over without having been present in much of anything.

IT’S NOT FALL YET!

It will be fall soon enough. Don’t rush things. Just wait until the 23rd.

Thanks.

Proof That “A Watched Pot Never Boils” Is Untrue

Proof that the adage “a watched pot never boils” is untrue! See this pot? Watch it boil. WATCH IT!

It’s boiling, isn’t it? You’re watching, aren’t you?

PROOF!

This Was Possibly The Best Moment In The 80’s

This was possibly one of the best moments of the 80’s:

I have no idea why I like this scene so much, or what it even really means, but I do. I can watch it over and over again.

Whiskey Limits Humanity’s Dreams Of Space

Well, whiskey is apparently going to limit humanity’s dreams of space. They’ve been aging whiskey up on the international space station and have discovered that zero gravity apparently inhibits whiskey from extracting flavor from the oak wood. This has drastic implications for humanity’s exploration of space. This likely impacts bourbon as well.

After all, our ability to explore space depends on a number of factors. Artificial climate systems, propulsion, many technological developments are necessary to get us into deeper space. To really explore, we need a ship that can be self contained for multiple generations of the astronauts on board, at least until some really dramatic new propulsion system is devised. However, we apparently can’t make good whiskey in that kind of situation.

How are we going to get people to go then?

Seriously, multiple generations without whiskey? Bourbon? It apparently has to be made on planet or something to be done right. Thus, no multiple generation astronaut ships. Some might say they could just bring enough whiskey with them, but cargo limitations would likely prevent there from being enough. No, multi generation ships need to be able to make whiskey on board. We’ll just never get very far into space without it.

What’s the solution then? Artificial gravity for whiskey aging? Age whiskey for much longer than normal to compensate? I don’t know, but obviously this is a serious blow to significant space exploration for the human race.

Why Not Buy A Hot Dog?

I needed to pick something up from the convenient store by my work. On my way in, a guy on the corner who was homeless and trying to raise a little money asked: “Hey, maybe grab me a hot dog?” I don’t know if he was completely serious, but I was sure he could use the hot dog. Standing in line, I though: Why not? Why not buy the hot dog?

After all, I was already at the counter buying things. The hot dogs were right there. All I had to do was ask for it and then hand it to the guy on my way out. I was sure he could use the meal, and it was only $2. I was buying $40 worth of stuff anyway. I wouldn’t even need to run an additional transaction.

It gets so hard to keep up with downtown. I donate money from time to time, but there are so many people who need help down here. I rarely even carry actual money, doing most of my donations online, so you get kind of hardened to it. I rarely have anything to hand over.

But a hot dog? I could do that. It wasn’t even that much effort. I just had to overcome the inertia of not doing anything and do just a tiny, few things. Such a small thing to make some kind of a difference.

I bought the hot dog.

What’s With All The Praying Mantises?

What’s with all the praying mantises? I found one in the lobby of my office building in downtown Denver this week and heard about two different friends finding one as well. One found one outside and the other in her house. Doesn’t this seem like a lot of people encountering praying mantises?

I mean, I know there aren’t huge numbers of these things. I hear they aren’t as rare as people think, just being good at camouflage and staying out of places people would encounter them. Still, I think I’ve only seen maybe a couple praying mantises in my life. It just seems like many more people than normal are talking about running across them in a short amount of time.

Is there a mantis population explosion? Is there some weird event causing them to encounter humans more? Has so much mantis habitat vanished that they’re starting to come into our houses and workplaces because there is nowhere else?

Probably nothing weird is going on. It just seems like a lot of people I know have encountered a praying mantis in the last week. It probably really doesn’t mean anything out of the ordinary.

Only People Who Wouldn’t See That Question Wouldn’t Know The Answer

I just saw a trivia question that said: “A county clerk in which state is refusing to provide marriage licenses to same sex couples?” The question gave three states as choices. I was floored. I mean, regardless of anyone’s views on what is going on, who wouldn’t know the answer to the question?

Only a person who also wouldn’t see the question.

Seriously, regardless of anyone’s views on the situation, there is almost no way to escape hearing about it. Facebook, online news, tv news, newspaper, you can’t get away from it. Some people may have managed to avoid hearing about the situation entirely…but I’m betting they wouldn’t have been near the display screen in the elevator where the question was presented.

It’s kind of a gimme question.

I Finally Gave In And Got A Facebook Author Page

Well, I finally gave in and got myself an author page. I resisted it, but I decided I better go ahead and do it before someone else decided to be an author named David S. Atkinson. You never know, it could happen.

I just put it together, so there’s not too much there yet. It’s where all my authorial happenings will be though, so it’ll start filling up soon. All David S. Atkinson writer news, all the time.

Like it to stay informed, or to make me feel loved:

https://www.facebook.com/DavidSAtkinsonAuthor