Elizabeth Bourgeret's Blog, page 9

What Do You Want?

As you are climbing the ladder of success, do you know where it leads?  The experts all say that to really achieve success is to KNOW what it is that you want.  Most of us can't clearly answer that question.  Many say they want happiness, wealth or love, but those answers are setting you up for failure.  So what does it take to find the right ladder of success?

As much as people scoff at goal setting, and believe me, I used to be one of those people, goals are the very best way to get from where you are to where you want to be.  

This is the first article in a series on goal setting.  It is perfect for the beginner or the "scoffer" as it takes things literally, one step at a time!  This series won't cover everything, but it will certainly get you started!  And when you are ready to continue on where this series leaves off, I will be there to help you with a whole new on-line series!  So let's get started finding your ladder to success!

Many people know the things they want if they really stop to think about it, but sometimes it takes a little help.  Here's an exercise that will really help the things that prove to be most important to you to fall away from all the others.

Exercise:  This works best with a partner, but if you are honest, you can take care of a lot of blockage on your own.
The object is to keep asking questions until you can't answer them any more.
Start off with the question: What do you want?
Ask this question over and over and over again.  Write down your answers.  Most of the time, people start off with superficial things like, new car, mansion with a pool, a new wardrobe, but the more you keep asking, the REAL answers start to emerge: a savings account, someone to share my life with, a home that's paid off... Whatever is on your list is totally fine.  It's what makes you, uniquely... you!

If you get stuck, here's a couple more questions that will keep the answers flowing: 
What makes you happy?  
What do you love to do? 
If you could quit your job tomorrow...
If you won the lottery...

These questions and all those pages and pages of answers are really only the tip of the iceberg...  Then we have to work on getting you those things that keep coming up over and over again and become your priority!

So do this exercise, a few times if you'd like, and see what surfaces then next week, we will take the next step in how to make those new priorities a reality! 

You're Exactly Where You're Supposed To Be

Sometimes when life gets a little tricky, we tend to think that we are someplace that we were not meant to be.  And in the grand scheme of things, that may be true, but whatever brought you to this moment in your life has happened for a reason. 

It is easy for us not to face things that are troubling us and so we close our eyes and just hope they go away on their own.  But if we keep in mind that everyday, every experience, every meeting can be a learning opportunity. Our mistakes can be used to make us stronger, smarter and help our decisions for the future.

All the choices you have made in your past have brought you to the point to where you stand right now. Good, bad or ugly, you are where you are because of the choices you have made.

There may be reasons that you haven't gotten the success you wanted.  It may just be delayed until the time is right or it might not happen at all.  I heard a quote from somewhere that says we will be plagued by the same troubles until we have learned the lesson they were sent to teach us.  And then another that basically says, What is yours can never miss you (regardless of the paths and sidetracking, if it was meant for you, eventually it will come to you) and what misses you, was never yours.  (meaning, there could be things out there that you are struggling with over and over and no matter how hard you try, it will not come to pass.

I had a hard lesson in that example.  My history is in the theatre.  Live theatre and teaching kids in the arts (dance, drama, art and music).  I had helped create and build a theatre company in the early '90's and just assumed that was my path.  When I left that theatre company, to start a family, I assumed that I would just open another theatre company where my family resided.  That was my path right?  But I tried, and struggled and lost thousands of dollars for seven years before one of my student's parents bluntly told me, "Maybe this isn't what you are supposed to be doing."

I was furious!  Who did she think she was?!  Of course it was!  It's all that I know!!  I haven't done anything but theatre work for 15 years!!  What else would I be doing??

I finally gave in.  I was out of money, the Fine Arts Centre that I was running wasn't bringing in enough income... I had to give up.  I shut it down, and shut it out of my mind for four years.  I had to allow my heart and brain to open up to new ideas and yes, maybe a completely different path for me.  

It took a long time and I thought for sure that I was not going to be "allowed" to work with the kids again.  But I had to be still long enough to be able to hear God whispering to me.

It has been a long slow journey.  There have been many lessons that I have had to learn along the way.  And my hard-headedness, didn't make it any easier.

I'm not saying that even if you're on the right path that there won't be bumps and trials. (Hardly!) But as I said before, every day is a chance to learn, to improve, to hear His whispers. 

I believe that I am on the right path, for however long, and I am learning to be more sensitive to what the world is trying to tell me.  Good, bad or ugly, I am here at this point in my life for a reason.  The choices I have made, the decisions I have followed through on and the things I have had to let go...  This is my life.  I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. 

If you are struggling right now, is there a chance that maybe this is something you're not supposed to have right at this moment?  Are there other tasks you are meant to accomplish before "this particular thing" can come to fruition?  Are there more teachings, reading, experiences you need to acquire?  Are there things, people, places that you are meant to move away from?  Or distance yourself from?  If you dig deep... could this be the time you need to let go of something that is not meant to be?  A hard decision to be sure, but I firmly believe that if you were meant to "have" it, you will.  Maybe not now, but when the time is right.

You are where you are supposed to be.  Take in all that the universe is trying to teach you and use it to its fullest!

Why On Earth Would You Want To Work With Teens?

This is a question that is often asked of me... a lot.  Easy...

When you bring your new baby into the world, you are bombarded with "how-to's" and "help guides", support groups, play dates, manuals, classes, videos, blogs, books, cd's, and entire television shows on how to care for your new little infant.  If you're a new parent or a repeat offender, the world has you covered to make sure you know what to do with your adorable new family addition.

But as your infant starts to grow and become a little human, your support groups begin to dwindle a little.  Your advice columns that you checked faithfully everyday no longer apply to your family situation.  And yet, the babies just keep on growing.

Soon, they reach the double digits in chronological maturity and you find you are all alone in the parenting community!!  There is no support group, a smattering of blogs, books and videos and no television shows (except the ones showing how the teens are needing new baby help!).  A parent can feel awfully alone as their once logical, emotionally stable child goes through these horrifying changes.  

It seems that overnight, the baby that they have loved and cared for has become unrecognizable, sleep deprived, mouthy, emotional, secretive, and no longer seeks the advice or friendship with their parent.  Suddenly, the parent is on the outside looking in not knowing how to handle these changes.  And just as suddenly, the child is on the inside, looking out not knowing why these changes are happening but are certain that no one else could possibly understand.

I saw a gaping hole in the parental/family teaching world and I decided to fill the need.  I became a life coach specializing in teens first, then family dynamics and then relationships.  There just didn't seem to be much help for families as their children grew into young adults.  


When I was a teen, I felt lost.  And I made sure my mom was just as miserable as I was.  While I know my family loved me and did the best they could with the knowledge we had, they didn't think to teach me the skills of living a successful life, much less what to do with all these surging hormones and changes going on in my brain and body.  No one really thinks to do that.  Society believes that when a child graduates from high school, they just... know.  We turn them out into the world and just expect them to be successful.

Science has now proven that teens go through as big of a "growth spurt" as far as change and learning, during their teen years as they did in the first eighteen months of life!  That's huge!!  Remember how quickly your newborn learned and changed and grew almost right before your eyes!!  Your teens are doing a second round of growing and that is why they are so foreign to you.  Information overload!


I am here to support the teens and help them get through this trying season of their life without going too far to any extreme.  I don't doctor them or analyze them, I just respect them and help them work through all the stuff in their life.  I work with the other family members as well, trying to keep that cohesion which is so important but so very fragile during this growth spurt.  I help them make choices and work through this new growth without hurting themselves or others! Lol.  I love being a teen-life coach!  But there was more...

So I came up with the Total Truth Workshop.  A lot of common denominators were coming up in my sessions with teens and so in order to reach several teens at once and focus on some of the core materials and have fun with it, Total Truth Workshop was born!

The Total Truth Workshop is an intensive, interactive weekend that I created to present a small group of teens with the basics of getting through this time in their life and planning for their futures, no matter what they might be.  I've made it fun and engaging so they will lock it into their memories and be able to access it for years and years to come.  Anytime we can connect an emotion or involve our peers in an exciting way, the information is more likely to stay with them.  The Total Truth Workshop is an entire weekend of just that.  The teens have so much fun!  They meet like-minded people that will inspire and encourage them.  They learn valuable life transforming information and skills.  Plus they (and I) have a great time doing it!

Speaking totally selfishly, this gives me my teen fix, and it gives me the opportunity to travel!  I'll take the TTW to cities all over the United States one weekend at a time.  It's a win-win!  The workshop can be so beneficial to teens and  their families.  I have created this in such a way that they get the most information, in the shortest amount of time and still have access to me in case they get "stuck".  

There is also a class that follows the workshop for the parents, so they can get an inside look into what was taught and how they can best help their teen get the most from the weekend.

I love working with teens!  They have SO much to offer!  They are bright, intelligent, creative, funny and coming into their "own".  I think because they are caught in that battle of finding out who they want to be that many people get turned off, because while in that battle, comes a lot of attitude, anger, secrecy and rolling of the eyes.  

And while their parents are totally thrown off guard at the changes taking place in their "babies", I have the opportunity to be welcomed in as an odd outsider that is still an adult but is still welcomed and usually even respected!  And for parents, hopefully, I fill that need for support and encouragement and information, helping them raise their teens without killing them. :)

The Total Truth Workshop embraces and celebrates this valuable time in their life as well as gives them some basic guidelines and tools to help them make the best choices for their present life and their future.  My workshop can't fix everything, but it does give them a leg up if they apply the principles.

These are the tools that they will not learn in any school.  These are life skills.  These are practices that I came up with from learning from my own mistakes and studying how to by-pass the pot holes in the "road of life".  I don't pretend to know everything.  I am still learning everyday.  I do not have letters behind my name, and do not claim to be smarter than the rest of the "experts".  But I can promise you that my study has been focused on these issues and this age group for many years.  And while the information that I present to you isn't new, I have become an expert in creating memorable learning experiences so when the information that is being presented to your child would be considered boring and forgettable if just read in a book, will be retained, enjoyed and most likely executed because of the unique way I offer it up to them.  

I had no idea the culmination of my creating summer camps, homeschool classes, coaching and writing would come to this, the Total Truth Workshop, but I love how all of my loves have joined together for this one special purpose.  

Why on earth would I want to work with teens? Because I believe it was my calling, my specialty, my area of expertise.  This is my arena.  We can't ALL be baby experts! Lol!
I love working with teens.  
I love teaching.  And now, I can do both and change the lives of teens all over the world.  
I can meet and bond with families.  
I can see all of the beauty the United States of America has to offer.  
And I can write at all the intervals in between! 
How perfect for me!  

If this is the last thing I do... travel from state to state and city to city working with teens the rest of my life... I couldn't be happier. 

Author Under Construction (revised)

With the announcement of the launching of Total Truth Workshops and the decision to take it out on the road, this author's life has been completely turned upside down!  

I apologize for my neglect on this  blog.  Believe me, I miss typing out a weekly lesson or thought or announcement!  I miss your feedback.  And I miss getting out and interacting with all of you!  But with the end of the Kindness Challenge, I was able to kick things into gear with the Total Truth Workshop!  A lot of my energy is going toward the new "blog" called The Journey which is documenting my choice to live on the road and write and teach.  So until I get settled and back on my writing schedule, you can get your Elizabeth fix from there or follow me on Facebook (which has been neglected as well... Oh!  I'm terrible! Lol) 


But I can't help but be super excited about my future!  I am still up to my neck in marketing classes that will hopefully teach me how to best reach families and fill up workshops- cause a girl's gotta eat!  But the workshop themselves are going to be AWESOME!!!!  


I have included some fun activities and exercises so they are just not sitting around all day and while we do have SO much information to cover, I can promise all you parents out there that might be considering it, they will not be bored and they will come home transformed.  


I have put so much prayer and research into the Total Truth Workshop that I COULD teach on it for weeks!  But I'll condense it to the highlights and maybe offer some on-line courses later.  But for now, I am mostly concentrating on finishing up my marketing classes.  Working out the kinks on the teen workshop, creating a seminar to introduce parents TO the workshop and delivering some great parenting tips and then (as if that wasn't enough!) working on the next two books (one fiction, one non-fiction) and then this blog and Facebook.... sigh.  Is it nap time? Lol 

That being said, hopefully, I'll be able to get back on track again soon.  I think you'll like the changes that are emerging, and the direction that things are going!! Thanks for bearing with me!  

Author Under Construction

With the announcement of the launching of Total Truth Workshops and the decision to take it out on the road, this author's life has been completely turned upside down!  

I apologize for my neglect on this  blog.  Believe me, I miss typing out a weekly lesson or thought or announcement!  I miss your feedback.  And I miss getting out and interacting with all of you!  But with the end of the Kindness Challenge, I was able to kick things into gear with the Total Truth Workshop!  A lot of my energy is going toward the new "blog" called The Journey which is documenting my choice to live on the road and write and teach.  So until I get settled and back on my writing schedule, you can get your Elizabeth fix from there or follow me on Facebook (which has been neglected as well... Oh!  I'm terrible! Lol)

In other news:  I have added a new team member, Steve Weaver.  He is my new assistant and is in charge of booking my speaking engagements, setting up the Total Truth Workshops and Mini Workshops in various cities and he is keeping me on track and uber busy!  He has already put some changes into place and he is constantly thinking about what the next best move for the Elizabeth Bourgeret team should be.  I trust him implicitly.  I hope his family doesn't mind my stealing him too much!!  He is such a wonderful addition to our family here and I think you'll see the results of his presence soon!  Welcome aboard, Steve!  I am so happy to have you!!  

That being said, hopefully, I'll be able to get back on track again soon.  I think you'll like the changes that are emerging, and the direction that things are going!! Thanks for baring with me!  

Winners from Goodreads!!

Congratulations to all the winners from the Goodreads Giveaway for my latest release, Waiting for the Sun!!  Thank you so much for entering to win!!  
I sincerely hope you enjoy Waiting for the Sun and if it so moves you that you feel compelled to post a glowing review on Goodreads and Amazon.

I so enjoy creating the stories and am so very grateful when my work is well received.  

For those who did not win, I have a list of who entered, so if you are interested in purchasing a copy for yourself, I'd be happy to give you a code to take $3 off the $14.99 cover price as a thank you for entering!  Just shoot me an e-mail or contact me here on the site!)

So- Congratulations again to: Melissa Bush, Traci Ann Ladner, Kathryn Dyche-Dechario, Jenette LeBeau, Scott Harris, Samantha Sookdeosingh, Michelle Domangue, Mary Michelle Tharp, Ann Madison, and Sally Huang
And thank you again to everyone for their continued support and encourag

I'm Invisible

Over the weekend, our country celebrated its birthday.  So Meera, my trusty Great Dane, and I went down to the riverfront to join in on the festivities!  There were crowds, and vendors and kids everywhere.  Meera was in heaven!  She loves all the attention she gets when we go to these events.  And I enjoy the live bands, so it's usually a win-win.  We find a nice spot to stand so I can dance in place to the music and she can wait patiently for kids and adults to come up to pet her, marvel at her size and compliment her on her demeanor.  She loves every moment of it.  She is patient and doesn't even slobber on people.  She has to watch the tail every once in a while... but other than that, she is a most congenial festival-goer.
This year I noticed that when people came up to us, they would talk directly to Meera and not to me.  It's only when Meera didn't respond to their questions that they'd finally turn to me for answers.  
I met up with a few friends and while we were standing around, the people who would come up to pet Meera, would ask my FRIENDS about MY dog!  I'm holding the leash and everything!  As if I wasn't even there.  They would ask my friends the "owner questions" like, how old, boy or girl, what breed, can we pet her...Wouldn't you think to ask the one holding the leash those questions??  Me too, but everyone directed their questions else where.
So, the experiment continued.  I handed the leash over to one of my friends to see if the questioning varied.  NO!  They STILL asked them instead of ME!!  HELLO!! I'm the Momma!!  So I stood watching my friends be the dog owner... it was weird.
But it got even worse!  When my friends didn't know the answer to the questions they would look to me and I would answer them!  The "petters" waited for the answer to come back through the friend, and then acted like it was the first time they heard the information.  Sometimes, my friends would even say, "It's her dog." and they STILL wouldn't look to me!  I have never felt so invisible in all my life!!  I've always thought I was approachable.  I try to be kind and friendly.  I'm available to answer Great Dane questions... Big dog questions, good with kids questions...  It was the weirdest thing.  Even my friends were starting to see the reality of it so, it wasn't just in my head!  
It turned into the joke of the evening, and even while Meera was attached to my wrist, I concentrated on the music and my friends socialized with the dog-folks that came up to Meera.
Who ever said bringing your pet to the park is the best way to meet people was obviously not invisible!

No Promises

The other day, I went out into my back yard and there, going up the step in the mix of some boring weeds, I saw the most brilliantly colored flower.  Nothing has ever grown there before and I wondered what it was doing there now!  It was so simple and beautiful and thought surely is was sent to grow there to give me a message.

So, I wondered what kind of message it could be?  Let me give you some back-story... I feel closest to God when I am out amongst nature.  I feel He is near me and I am more open to hearing his messages.  The breeze suddenly feels like a caress.  The birds sound like a choir.  The colors seem so intense that I feel like I disappear.  I don't feel this way every time I go outside, but I know that if I am troubled, that's where I meet Him.  And he will comfort me.  He will ease my pain.  He will scold me.  He will give me direction.  Not that He whispers to me or anything... I've asked repeatedly for Him to send me a text message, but He must not like that option for me... Any-hoo.... So I feel this random flower was "sent" to tell me something.

Maybe, to look for the rose among the thorns?  That would be the obvious choice.  And sometimes I do need to be reminded of that.  I can get pretty crabby some days and only see things that just irritate the tar out of me and only witness the annoying things about people, but sometimes, hidden underneath the perceived "annoying" there is something truly beautiful there just waiting to be noticed.  It was there all along.  I just needed an attitude adjustment to see it.

Or maybe, it was stop and smell the roses?  Again with the roses?  The point being that sometimes I get so busy and forget to notice the small things that make me happy.  The little things that remind me why I work so hard.  A sunset.  The smile from one of my kids or grandkids.  An ice-cream sandwich.  I am pretty busy...  I do work a lot and forget to watch the sun set...

How about, God has it under control?  He took the time to create this beautiful, perfectly made flower and bring it to my attention.  He's got the whole world in His hands.  My troubles are nothing compared to his power and compassion.  No problem is too big or too small to take to Him.

But no... none (or all) of those.  Because as I was working all day, the next chance I got to go outside and check on my pretty little surprise, it was gone.  Orange petals had fallen to the concrete and the center hung low.  My conclusion was that the lesson must be:  Nothing is promised.  You don't know how long you have to appreciate the things and the people around you.  Your world could change in an instant.  

Yes, that must be it.  The flower was here, and when I thought I could appreciate it another day, it was gone.  So I pass this lesson on to you.  Love those around you.  Never let them doubt for one minute that they are important to you.  Stop and smell the roses.  Enjoy the sunsets.  Kiss the babies.  Take nothing for granted.  The very breath you breathe is not promised.  Make sure you use every one as if it was your last.  Let no words of ill-will be said to those you love.  Always be the best person you can be from one minute to the next.  Life is short.  Too short.

Forgive.  Be thankful.  Be kind.  Show love.  You don't know what you've got till it's gone.  Don't live a life of regret.  Live every day to the fullest.  And even if your day consists of having to go to work, or another day of boring mundane activities, do your best to find the joy in every day.  There's a reason you are, where you are doing what you're doing.  So when you go to bed at night, before you drift off to sleep, take a moment to be thankful for all the good things in your life.  :)

A New Perspective

The 30 Kindness Challenge is officially under way as of the 15th of June!  And while your verbal support is greatly appreciated, what we need  now is action!!  Some people may think that this is a silly endeavor and can't really understand why I would want to do something like this.  What can one person do, kind of thing...  So, this blog is to get you to see things with a new perspective.

Today, as you are out and about, just take a moment to take notice of how people treat one another.  Look for kindness, and you will see it.  Look for anger, and you will find it.  It is the goal of the 30 Day Kindness Challenge to be able to see kindness every time you turn around.   It's my hope that it can replace a lot of the anger.  I know that it can't replace all of it, because we all have angry days, but if we made a conscious effort to make a difference, what kind of world could it be?

So what do you see when you take a moment to get outside of yourself and see others?  Notice how kindness can change an interaction.  See how kindness can alter attitudes.  Notice how kindness can bring a smile to a face no matter how young or old.  When kindness becomes a part of our daily routine, we won't need to stop and think about it.

So do me a favor, while you are on your way to work, or the store, or out in a public place, take a look at those around you.  Try and guess which ones are participating in the 30 Day Challenge!  Look for ways you can show kindness and tell us all about it.

Be the kindness you hope to see in others...

Join Us for the 30 Day Kindness Challenge

More reading:
Put A Little Love In Your Heart- And Share It
30 Day Kindness Challenge- An Invitation
A Change of Attitude
Day One!
Day Two!

A Change of Attitude

As a society we have fallen into the pattern of "if he is nice to me, I'll be nice to him".  We need to change that attitude.  What if the other person is thinking the exact same thing?  You could have passed up a new friend, a possible sale, a potential relationship or just that warm fuzzy feeling of sharing smiles.  

What would happen if you decided to be nice first?  What if you smiled at everyone you came across?  How do you think you would be perceived?  And do you think this would help or hinder your first impressions?

We only have a short time on this earth and personally, I'd like to be remembered as a kind, caring and loving person.  When my name or image comes up in conversation or perhaps on a web search, it is my hope that the way I lived my life will  have people thinking fondly of me.  And in order to achieve this, I try to be kind every day, to everyone I meet.  Most days, I think I am successful.  I'll be the first to admit that I have my "off- days" where I would rather not have to speak to anyone...  but luckily those days are few and far between.  Lol.  (I bet you have felt the same!)

Loving behaviors and just being kind should be an automatic thing regardless of how you are treated, or who says "hello" first.  The meaning of kindness is seeing the value of every person we meet.  Sure, sometimes we have to look a little deeper, but it's there.  We just have to take the time to see it.  And I promise you, more times than not, you'll see it the moment you show kindness.  And even with those tough ones that you can't seem to get to crack a smile, I'd be willing to bet that they'll think about your kindness again at some point in the day.  Sure, they might think you're crazy, but... you may have been the only person to love on them in who knows how long.

Sometimes we don't get to see the impact of the kindness we bestow on others, but it is never wasted. 

 I had a man come up to me one afternoon in a grocery store.  I unfortunately had no recollection of who he was but he told me that I had taught his daughter in my Broadway camp one summer.  He said that she had the best time and felt so welcomed that she still talks about it to this day. (It was well over five years ago!) She was considered a "social outcast" and had no friends so even signing up for the camp was a huge step for her.  After jogging my memory, I knew who is daughter was.  She started out very shy and and tried to stay off to the side, but she was welcomed in and she was part of the family in no time!  At the time, I had no idea of the impact she took with her, I was just "doin my thing", but how happy it made my heart to hear about it several years later.

But think of what your acts of kindness could mean to strangers.  We have no idea what other people are going through in their lives, but we are all going through something.  What if your simple smile meant the world to someone else?  What if you purchased the coffee for the person that was just having the WORST morning?  What if you gave a compliment to someone who was absolutely filled with self-doubt that day?

Starting today, be the one who smiles first.  Take the initiative, be the ambassador for kindness.  Let's go for that change of attitude.  Bring kindness to others, don't wait 
If you haven't signed up to participate for the 30 Day Kindness Challenge as yet, click here and write your commitment statement in the comments below the blog!!  

More to read:
Put A Little Love In Your Heart- and Share It