Elizabeth Bourgeret's Blog, page 14

Empty Nest

It's back to school season and this time of year always makes me a little melancholy as another summer quietly comes to an end.

I am "momma" to about 15-20 young adults not including the ones that I paid taxes on, and this time of year when I send them back off to school or watch them take on the next level of adulthood or (worse!) stop to look at how much they have all grown, it is a moment that is bittersweet.  Some have been a part of my life since my kids were small, others have only joined the family, but seem to fall right into place and still others take a side road for only a few visits and are gone again, but have still known the love of this momma and unique collection of family.

I am so proud at how far they have come in their lives and when I say that I love them all, I truly and honestly feel down to my very heart their accomplishments and their sorrows.  My little house is empty now and has been for a couple years, but this time of year always brings back that initial... sadness.

And when they do come back in increments of a few or a whole party and they speak their foreign languages of Magic, Xbox, Robot Chicken and other nerd-isms, it fills my heart with so much joy.  I don't care that they keep me up all night long with their talking and laughing, singing and wrestling,  I just love that they are there.  Nothing makes me happier than when I wake up and see my living room sprawling with bodies that slept where they fell.  I am honored that they still find happiness coming to my home and doing their thing.  They could easily go any where else, but that they choose to come to Momma's house, makes me extremely happy.

As they grow and don't heed the council of Momma, it makes me so sad to hear of some of the choices that they make.  We all have to have our turn to find out which ways are right and which ways are wrong and let me tell you how I was a person who was going to do what I wanted regardless of all the warnings.  And now I find myself in my elders shoes.  I want to protect them and guard them so that they never know sadness or fear, prejudices ... or cancer....  But then I have to remind myself that my greatest challenges turned into my greatest lessons.  

I am who I am today because of, or in spite of the mistakes I made.  My heart has been broken, I have been so poor I had to live on popcorn and Pepsi, I have been lost in darkness and found my way back to the light.  I am not perfect- I should be- but I still make mistakes.  And my kids need to be "allowed" do it too.  And now, knowing what I do, I have to let them.  I am here if they ever want to talk or need advice or a meal or a bed to sleep in, but I have to let them grow.

So, as you  send your "babies" off to school, and you can feel them slowly slipping from your grasp, know that this is the way things are supposed to be.  They are only ours for a moment.  And in that moment, we do the best we can to teach them and love them and give them a strong foundation to stand on.  So when they are ready to take that leap, they do so knowing that no matter how warm and cozy and safe that nest is, they were born to fly.  And we, have to let them go.

This is essentially a script to offer you (and me) comfort. Take comfort in the fact that because of that strong foundation and love and coziness, they will be back and cleaning out your refrigerator in no time!

The Need For Lasting Relationships

I have gotten such a great response to the question I put out, "What is the most important aspect of a lasting relationship"  This question went out to the masses and people from all stages in their relationship walks responded.  Those who were in long, committed relationships told me their secret for keeping it and those in other stages told me what they believed they wanted most.  It, as with all my surveys and questions, has been a fascinating and educational experience!

What had started out to be a simple two or three paragraph piece, your responses have overwhelmingly stated that you need more information, because empty relationships no longer satisfy your long term needs.  You, my friend, are looking for a long lasting relationship!  Your comments have told me in not so many terms that you need more information about how to make that happen!

I, too, have been looking for the secret that makes a marriage so lasting and fulfilling, and by talking with all these people, I think I'm on to something. I am learning from other people's experiences.  This, I believe is how you grow.  Learn from others who have succeeded in the areas in which you want to succeed.  It takes far too much time to personally experience everything.  So I am sharing what I am learning so you can find lasting love too.

More than 200 people have already participated and hopefully several more will offer feed back to this next section of research.  I have narrowed it down to 10 main components.

Trust, Commitment, Intimacy, Communication, Honesty, Hearing/Saying the words "I love you", Passion, Respect, Compatibility, and God- Centered.  I didn't make a category for the obvious "Love" because as each component grows stronger, love grows deeper.  

Each of these components individually or in any random assortment could make you happy in a relationship for some time, but I am beginning to believe that you really do need all of them for something truly lasting.  Impossible?  I'm finding out that no, it's not impossible.  Easy?  No.  Not at all.  Love, as it turns out, is a lot less magical that I might have thought.  It seems, as with anything of any value, you have to work at it.  There is a process that makes this crazy- little- thing- called- love last.  I'm here to find it.  

So please follow me on facebook at Elizabeth Bourgeret- Author for more questions to come because I need your quotes and comments!!

By the way, Trust was the number one answer.  And only one person said sex. (Which is important, but fits nicely under the Intimacy category) But I found it interesting that most people would still be content with their life-partner even if they had to give up sex as long as they had the other components.

Stay tuned for more to come and the final article series aptly titled, The Ten Components of a Lasting Relationship

The Mating Habits of Bees

One of the most enjoyable parts of having to cut hair for a living is the interesting conversations on a variety of subjects!  
Today's subject: Bees!

Bees are apparently fascinating little creatures that one might not really pay attention to unless you develop a passion for them, as this client did.

Somehow, we got to talking about their mating rituals and how the women are the dominant sex.   So much so, that when the men cease to be useful, they are literally- literally - pushed from the hive!
The men's only job is to mate.  So they all go and "hang out" in a particular place and wait for the females to come by and choose them.  And once the female has... uh... finished with him, she rips his heart out to kill him.  Quick and over.  No mixed messages there.

What a happy life!

He was a little taken back by my opinion.  But think about it, men.  What man wouldn't love to die just after sex?  If you gotta go, might as well die happy, right?  And sure, maybe their life is short, but it's a happy one.  Eat, scope for chicks, mate then die.  I would think it would be every male species dream!  No responsibilities BUT mating.  No raising larva, no bringing home the honey, just mating.

Sounds not completely unlike their human counterparts.  They too go to places to troll for women and they think their only job is to mate... interesting.

I mention the above tongue and cheek of course, but it does make me wonder at God's miracles.  He takes the time to structure the lives of the tiniest of creatures.  And as God went on to  experiment with other critters of varying complexities, He made their mating rituals unique as well.  From the killing Queen Bee to the mate-for-life Cardinals.  Then... He made humans who run the gamut of every mating style in between.  (Except that the killing part is no longer legal...)  Some couples stay together for life.  Some only stay together to procreate.  Some have no other commitment other than mating, and some choose a life of solitude.  And every once in a while, you have the random female that wants to rip his heart out... and does.  Figuratively and literally.  This website does not endorse either one...
It's amazing what you can learn in a fifteen minute conversation.  And for the bee enthusiasts out there, forgive me if I over generalized or got some of my facts incorrect.  It was only fifteen minutes....

Pillow Talk's Front Cover!!

This is my second book, Pillow Talk, and let me tell you, seeing the front cover is no less exciting!!  That's my name!!  And even my picture!!!  And that is MY book.  I made that and it's going to help a lot of people!  I'm SO over taking a picture of the computer screen to give you the earliest glimpse... that was SO first-time- author stuff...

I am so happy with how it turned out!! I have to confess that this time around wasn't quite as easy as the last one.  We had to switch up cover designs a couple times and I wasted several days because there was a typo on the front cover!! *slaps forehead*

But here it is.  Finally and just in time.  I am very happy with it.  The front cover picture was taken by Shaun Kneemiller and I think it is the perfect shot!

Only a few more days until release time (hopefully it comes out as scheduled! Cutting it close this time around.) But the cover looks fantastic, yes? Yes!

Gas Station Fame!

My book Captive Heart came out in October of last year.  I have had moderate success with sales on Amazon, nothing to brag about by any means.  Had a couple copies sell over-seas, that's really cool.  But I think I've sold almost 200 copies through my work place.  My boss is kind enough to allow me to have them sitting on the counter for sale.  There's no big signs or anything, but my co-workers are so supportive and never hesitate to give me a plug or two.

It's really encouraging while I'm at work, doing what I do, and someone comes up and tells me that they love my book.  It is such a warm feeling and I love it every single time and never get tired of hearing praise for something that I created.  It's flattering and and I am humbled that they took time out to read the book in the first place and that they made the effort to tell me how they felt about it. (I wish they'd put a review on Amazon, but I'll take what I can get! lol)

So anyway, today as I was leaving work and filling up my gas tank at the local QT, a woman came up to me and asked me if I had written a book called Captive Heart .  A bit taken aback, I told her "yes".  

She went on to tell me how much her mother LOVED my book.  And that she's been passing it all over the place at her work and this woman was patiently waiting for her turn to read it.  She felt as if she practically knew all the characters as much as her mom talked about it but her mom would say, "she didn't want to give anything away."

I loved it!  It was so shocking and so flattering and happened so quickly and then she bounced away with, "Just wanted to let you know!" while I stood there with a big stupid smile on my face.  I almost forgot about my gas!  

It was a good day. :)

Pillow Talk Photo Shoot

Today was the photo shoot for my upcoming book  Pillow Talk : Connecting More Deeply to the One You Love- One Question at a Time.

The book is scheduled to come out on April 23 and I had a very specific vision that I wanted for this book.  It is my first offering to the non-fiction department, so it is completely different than my last release.

The book itself is basically a collection of questions that couples can use to connect or re-connect if the avenues of communication are failing.   I am convinced that if  couples keep an open line of communication thereby creating a deeper level of trust and intimacy, they can work through most issues.  

So the pictures that I had in my minds-eye, had to reflect that. 
  
Photographer first.

I immediately went with Shaun Kneemiller.  He is relatively new to the photography scene and is so laid back that I knew with out a shadow of a doubt that he's the one I wanted for this delicate shoot.  I wanted the pictures to be sweet.  Intimate and tender.  Not look nasty or dirty or in any way lead the reader to think this book was about anything but love-based, strengthening of couples. A fine line to be sure when the shoot is taking place in a bed... with pillows... and jammy-clad figures.

Shaun lined up immediately with what I had in mind and was very patient while we tried to get just the right shots.  I am super picky about what I am looking for creatively and he delivered.  We balanced back and forth with my ideas and his and then he accepted ideas from on-lookers with graciousness as we got as much done on our limited time schedule.  While he kept the environment light and easy, you could tell he never lost focus on his next shot.  I loved watching inspiration come to him while we were working on something.  We worked together well and I am so pleased with his work.  I hope that you will be too. 

Not only will these pictures be used in the actual book, but they will also be used in promoting it and for future articles.  So there was a lot riding on this one shoot!

Which meant I had to choose just the right partner.  My first thought went immediately to my very good friend, Eric Rowlett.  We have been friends for such a long time that we have developed a deep respect for each other and a sincere love that can be seen whenever we are in the same room together.  It was my hope that the same look/ feeling could be captured on film.  He agreed and immediately my mind was put at ease.

Okay, not immediately.  I love Eric to pieces.  Every part of him.  Which happens to be covered in body art... tattoos.  This gave me a bit of trepidation because so many people are prejudiced against tattoos.  So, I could choose some one else, who I wasn't as comfortable with or I could allow the world to see the real person that Eric is with all of his uniquely- Eric art work.  Now, I will be the first to admit that if they interfere with the focus of the shot, I am not opposed to editing them out.  But he is who he is and I love him just that way and I hope the public can see that and appreciate the photos as an example of closeness, intimacy and one-ness.

During the actual shoot, when I was tense, Eric calmed me.  He made me laugh and we were completely comfortable in every angle Shaun wanted from us.  He was patient and loving and I can't say enough nice things about our day together.  I believe it shows in the pictures.  I am so glad that Eric decided to sign on to the Pillow Talk team, tattoos and all.  It means the world to me and since we never know what the future holds, it makes me happy that we will have these memories and if they start to get a little faded, all I have to do is find the nearest copy of Pillow Talk !

Location, location, location...  My friend Paul Arthur has this adorable little spare bedroom in his basement and the moment I saw it (this was way back when Pillow Talk was still in its pencil stages...) I knew it was the perfect setting for the photo shoot.  I am so grateful that he was willing to open up his home to this barrage of strangers running around in jammies taking over his basement for the sake of Elizabeth's "vision"!  It really was the perfect spot!  Perfect size, perfect color and the sheet set? Perfect.

Mary Spezia of Sweet Note Styles was in charge of hair and make-up.  She has taken care of my face many times for my public outings so she was my first choice when my face was going to have "permanent" placement on the cover of my book and splashed all over the media!  She gave me that soft, not-overly-made-up look that I was wanting.  Of course that's what I ALWAYS look like when I just wake up and am running around in my jammies.... so her job was relatively easy, right? teehee!

Joey Felps was in charge of the behind-the-scenes shots!  I love these!! Not sure if they will all get public exposure, but I am so glad that they were captured for my own personal pleasure if nothing else.

And luckily, Shaun is perfectly comfortable taking photos of pets because, my Great Dane, Meera wanted to get in on the action as well.  She is usually camera shy but Shaun even got her to participate and got a few pics of her good side!!

All in all, It was a good, good day.  I am so very pleased.  I have a lot of work to do ahead of me as we go through the eliminating and the editing and the the narrowing down and the the CHOOSING!!  I may be locked in my office for the next few days!!

Thank you to everyone involved.  It was a long day but I think it will prove to be a success!  (Let's hope so anyway because I don't think I could get Eric or Meera to do it again! lol)

International Author!!

I am officially an international author!!  A couple copies of my book, Captive Heart were sold through Amazon in Europe!!  My work has crossed the ocean!  I can't tell you how exciting that is for me!!

AND!!! After further research, I've discovered that Captive Heart is also available in seven different countries!!!

Not exactly sure what to do with this information, or what it means as my future as an author, but it sure is exciting! And looks DARN good on a resume!!

Perhaps it will be possible travel opportunities for book signings... or speaking engagements... or meeting royalty!!! Okay, okay, lets not get ahead of ourselves...

But I AM an international author...

Life After The Book Launch

Busy.  Really busy.  Sadly, not in the direction I would like, but I've been too busy.  

I am a hairstylist in all the hours that I can't get away to focus on writing or publicizing what I have written.  And we have been in the depths of "holiday season" since I had my original book launch on November 3rd.  Which means hours and hours of standing behind the chair making everyone beautiful for their family gatherings, which I am happy to do, mind you, however, not a lot of time has been spent getting the book out to the public.  No book signings have been added to my calendar, no speaking engagements have been reserved for the new year, book sales are slow, writing the next book is even slower. And I thought writing the book was the hard part! Since I do not have the support of a major publishing company to put my name out there and book events for me, I am on my own.  It seemed like a brilliant time to release a book so I could catch the windfall of Christmas gift-giving, and I still think its a great opportunity, but I've really dropped the ball at getting it out there.  There is still so much I need to learn.

On a positive note, I've been getting a lot of positive feedback by those who have read Captive Heart !!  The reviews on Amazon.com are good and people who take the time out of their day to come and talk to me tell me that they have enjoyed it.  It warms my heart.  I am so flattered by the response and inspired to keep moving forward.  Luckily nothing has been said about keeping my day job or go live under a rock... I find that encouraging!

I've been so busy earning my paycheck that I haven't had time to get away and travel (which is when I do my best writing and visit my grandbabies).  So, I need to shift up my priorities and get busy getting Elizabeth Bourgeret on everyone's radar!  So I can in turn, set down the scissors and pick up the pen!
I could really use your help if you wouldn't mind.  If you participate in any book clubs and need a guest author... it could be me.  If you blog on-line and could drop the name of Captive Heart or the author (me!)... awesome.  If you could recommend this website or even my Facebook page ( www.facebook.com/EBourgeret )... so grateful.  If you could stop by your local bookstore and ask them to carry Captive Heart ... sweet!  If anyone would like to invite me to speak at their church or small groups and allow me to sell books there, I would greatly appreciate it.  If you have read Captive Heart and could give it a review on Amazon... oh...it would help so much! It's so easy to get distracted and run out of time for everything, but I'm trying. 

As if my plate isn't already spilling over, I am working on a few new projects. (As I am told to get something else out to the public while there is momentum - even a small amount!)  I am excited about these, and by telling you about them here, in advance, it holds me accountable.  So now I HAVE to write them!

First, there is a new fiction romance coming called Waiting for the Sun .  It's about a woman that was thrown into a divorcee life so she turns her darkest hour around to start a new life and opens her home to foster children.  I am really excited about this story and there are some twists and turns that I hope will get you excited about it too!  It holds the opportunity to become part of a series.  I hope that it will be released in Spring of 2014.

Second, there's a small, fun non-fiction book called Pillow Talk .  It offers fun ways to get to know your significant other a little more or to develop a budding relationship to the next level. That looks to be the next item out, with any luck this Spring or early Summer.

And finally, an untitled non-fiction work all about love. The ups and downs, the pleasure of it and the pains, the wholeness of it and the emptiness.  I have been working and researching this one for quite some time and am really working hard to put it together into an awesome manuscript.  Love.  It's our common denominator.  Everyone has felt it in some way or another.  This book will touch on many aspects of the most famous of emotions. I am hoping that this book will also launch into a series of speaking engagements.  Love. What a great subject to write about!  Don't you think?  I have NO idea when I'll get finished with this one.  It's a doozy!

Well, there you have it. Insight into the mind of Elizabeth. Scary, I know.  But I am so happy that you are here with me and helping me stay balanced and keep a forward momentum.  I am happy to get your e-mails (elizabeth@dctmedia.com) and comments here and on Facebook!  Keep them coming!  

I do hope you are enjoying your holiday season and are taking some time out for you and your family.  I'm one to talk, I know, but believe me, I may let my writing and promoting slip, but my family is always on the top of my list! 

Until next time!  Buy my book! (See? I'm promoting...)

Book Launch Party

"They say that writing is a solitary act.  And the actual sitting with a notebook or in front of the computer is, but so much happens before and during those points.  I am nothing without the people who inspire and encourage me.  Sometimes, its negative encouragement making me work harder in spite of people or circumstances... but mostly, its positive.  And as I look out to all of you, I am so filled with gratitude.  There are a few holes in the crowd, that I am missing terribly.  My oldest daughter and my siblings, but I am so happy that all of you have tried to fill in those gaps.  It means so much to me that you are here showing your support and encouraging me in this particular chapter.  

The writing of this book, ended up being about a five year process.  Probably... ok, definitely longer than it should have been.  But a very small amount of that was solitary.  Apparently, it takes a village to write my books! Editing, critiquing, pushing, irritating, praying, teasing, encouraging and all the other things and emotions it takes for me to function and move in a forward motion.  It takes you.  All of you.

I hope you enjoy this first offering.  I hope that your feedback proves that I'll be allowed to continue in this literary world.  It makes me happy to put my thoughts and story ideas down on paper and create characters and spin stories that others might be able to enjoy or perhaps even benefit from.  I couldn't be happier if this could be more than a one- time thing.

This book is a dream come true for me.  I am proof that it really can happen.  Dreams coming true...  It wasn't easy.  Maybe that's why they are called dreams.  Because its easier just to keep them behind closed eyes.  There were times, even as I was writing, that I allowed self-doubt, outside pressures and a few hundred other stumbling blocks to slow me down or even halt my progress.  But there was always someone who helped me get past every obstacle to reach this moment.

So if you have a dream, take the steps necessary to reach it.  You will be faced with hurdles, and trials and people will try and discourage you.  But if its important to you, don't just wish it, or think about it. Surround yourself with people who love you and believe in you.  Make it happen.  Go get it.  I did, and you can too."


Yes, well... That was the speech that I intended to give the evening of the Book Launch Party.  But, when the time came, things didn't go very smoothly.  By the time I got in front of my guests- forgetting my speech notes and nerves and emotions welling up in me it came out as a stuttering calamity of "thank yous" and "I'm so happys".  I think I managed to sputter out something about going after your dreams but over all, the entire speech-thing was a disaster.

So, I humbly offer up the what-I-meant-to-say speech...
There were a few other glitches other than the speech, but considering this was my first book launch, I don't think it went too terrible!  I mean, I had a great time.  It's always fun to dress up and play hostess.  Good food, good music, dancing, good friends and family.  What else really matters?  Oh, and I sold quite a few books.  That was exciting.  Really exciting.  I don't expect to get rich, by any means, but it is really nice to get a tiny bit of recognition for all of my hours and hours of hard work.  It was enough to want me to try again.  Keep writing and see what happens.

I thank everyone (again) for coming out and supporting me and putting up with my emotional roller coaster as details got ironed out (or not).

Bounce Bounce Bounce!!!

It's so hard to believe that this phase of my life is really happening!!  I've "waited" for so long to have all of my ducks in a row and now that they are, I really have to celebrate it because I know that it won't be long before one of those little buggers will get thrown off by the rapids!!

My debut novel, Captive Heart, just became available on Amazon.com. Let me tell you how exciting it is to not only see my name on the book itself, but seeing it out there, in the world, available for purchase by random people!!  I can barely contain my excitement.  Yes, there was an audible squeal when I looked it up on the site! Ok, yes, there was a happy dance too...

I am just so blessed by all that is happening that I don't know what to do with myself!  Thank God I have this blog- outlet to unload on so I am not constantly hugging on everyone that gets in my path!!  (Ok, I'll stop right after I post this, I promise.  I can't be held responsible for the random hug. You've been warned!)  

But listen to all this great stuff The actual hard-copy of the book will be released on Oct. 16th and I am currently working on book signing locations, then I have the Book Release Party on Nov 3, I have already increased my invitations to speak at upcoming events and I am surrounded by so much support ... I tell you, I am just so happy.
 So, however long my ducks decide to stay in this happy little row, I am going to enjoy every moment!