Sandy Walker's Blog, page 7

Need more patience?

NEED MORE PATIENCE? Choose to Love. Love gives you patience.

Ways to Love Others – Creative Ideas

I received a little newsletter last month with some handy tips for thinking about others. I liked the ideas – they were creative and not the usual ones you think of when you try to be a more loving person. It got ME thinking so I thought YOU might want to join me in pondering these ideas. This is good stuff!

- Turn impersonal moments of passing someone on the street into a momentary meeting by giving a friendly greeting. Wave, smile or make eye contact and nod. People so rarely acknowledge each other any more. Your smile may make someone’s day. This little guy’s smile could light up a room!

- Increase your willingness to share yourself with people. Ask yourself, “Am I available for others or is my schedule so full that I don’t have time for those who want my attention?” Who have I been ignoring, even unintentionally?

- Try to listen before speaking; be the last rather than the first to speak in a group; ask others for their opinions before offering your own; resist the temptation to say “no” before carefully considering an opinion that differs from your own.

- Yield to others when you drive rather than fighting for the first spot at a traffic light. Allow someone into traffic when it’s bumper-to-bumper on your way home. Take a moment to breathe deeply when you’re at a red light and be thankful for your transportation. Then smile at the person in the car next to you. If it’s a child, wave to them!

So, how about you? Which one of these inspires you to be more kind or loving to others? Pick one and try it out. Then post your comments on the reaction you got.

A Life Truly Lived

“A life filled with LOVE is a life truly lived.” – Sandy Walker

Let someone love you …

Let someone love you just as you are – and let that someone by you.

Can you do that today? Are you ready to start? It’s really worth it. YOU’RE really worth it ♥

Start small … pay attention to the things you LIKE about yourself. Comment on them in your head. Replace the nagging criticism in your thoughts with some positive comments – you’ll be surprised how much BETTER that feels.

Being Highly Sensitive – What a revelation!

I am learning about the Highly Sensitive Person – a term coined by Dr. Elaine Aron. Wow – what a revelation! It completely reframes my perspective on life.

What is a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)? It is someone who is more aware of stimulation to their senses than the average person. About 20% of the population is highly sensitive. Another 22-27% is moderately sensitive whereas about 50% of the population is not sensitive at all.

How do you know if you are an HSP? Are you very aware of things like the temperature in the room? The lighting – either too harsh or too dim? How about sounds – do you notice things other people don’t notice? Or are you jangled when you hear a siren go by whereas others seem to tune it out? How about smells? Tastes?

Another aspect of the HSP is their “knowing” – they have strong intuition and part of their sensitivity makes them vulnerable to other people’s moods or “vibes”. An HSP can often tell instantly when someone is upset, even when the person pretends to be fine.

This is an excellent trait if you have it. It can also make life especially burdensome if you don’t understand why things bother you so much more than others. You might be considered the “party pooper” because loud music, lots of people and bright lights make your head hurt and you want to go home. You might not “fit in” with the rambunctious dance crowd at the club.

However, an HSP makes a great friend, a good partner and an excellent parent. Their sensitivity means they are more tuned into you and what you need. As a parent, they are attentive and can intuitively sense what a child needs. As a partner or friend, they can connect with you at a much deeper level than some of your shallower friends.

In some cultures, sensitivity is highly respected. In America, not so much. We value those that are loud, bold and ready to take on any challenge. Being out in the busy “marketplace” of ideas may be intimidating to an HSP, especially if they have to present them before a large crowd. So they are not often as acknowledged for their depth of insight and understanding. In the right positions though, they will flourish.

One of the key things I am learning about this trait is how much it can make everyday life overwhelming for an HSP. Being overstimulated by your senses really drains you. After a long day at work or even shopping can make you want to isolate and withdraw from all stimulation.

It’s important to know your limits and try to reduce the amount of stimulation you are exposed to before it becomes overwhelming. For some, this might mean changing their job or moving to a quieter neighborhood. It also means knowing when to say “No” in social situations – you don’t have to go to every party. Maybe meeting with just a few friends at home would be more enjoyable than a night out on the town with a crowd.

Pay attention to what drains you. Schedule plenty of “down time” and find out what recharges your batteries. Is it nature? Being quiet? Being alone? Figure it out and make sure you get what you need during each day or week. In time, this gift can really enable you to flourish. The first step is realizing you have it!

Are you an HSP? Take the test online

Wanna know more about this? Check out Elaine Aron’s book, The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You

Click the book cover below to find out more:

 

 

 

If you are an HSP, what do you do to cope? Feel free to comment below. You can also contact me privately through my website http://www.destinysfreedom.com or send me an email at blog (at) destinysfreedom.com.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

“Gratitude is the attitude that releases …

“Gratitude is the attitude that releases increases!” – Sandy Walker

Okay, I know – it’s kind of a catchy phrase. But it’s really TRUE! When you are grateful for something, you are focusing positive energy on that thing. Whatever you focus on … grows. So, it makes sense that when you are grateful that releases more good things to come to you … usually of the same kind.

Try it! It will open up your heart to receive MORE. I promise.

[BTW, that photo is of the "sunflower" bush in my yard. It grows 8 feet tall & then blooms. We have to keep trimming it so it doesn't get into the power lines. I think the official name is the Mexican Daisy.]

Are you part Betazoid? (Empathic)

Star Trek many years ago added a very unique character to their cast – Deanna Troi. She was described as being from Betazed but she was also half-human (her father was human just like us). They called her a Betazoid (Betazed/humanoid). As a result, she had mostly human qualities except for 1 extraordinary gift – she could sense the emotions of others.

As a result of this special talent, she studied Psychology and became the Ship’s Counselor, an official role on the starship Enterprise.

As soon as I was introduced to her character, I was intrigued. She was special – unique. She got this cool purple uniform that set her apart as decidely feminine, compared with the staunch, stiff uniforms the other officers wore. In later episodes her uniform was this distinctive layered teal dress. I wish I had one.

But what drew my attention and kept it was her special gift of being an “empath” – someone who could feel and identify the emotions of others. She didn’t just mentally assess them like a therapist might. She actually FELT what they were feeling and as a result, she had compassion for them. She had a special insight into people and could connect with them because she knew HOW THEY FELT.

Wow! What a gift! And yet, I’m sure there were days where feeling what others around her were feeling might have gotten a little tiresome or overwhelming, especially when the ship was under attack. They never showed her losing her cool or running away. Maybe her quarters had special “shielding” so she could rest when she needed to.

Here’s the question I have for you today – are you part Betazoid? Do you often sense the emotions of others? Do you seem to have an uncanny ability to anticipate the needs of others? Have you ever been told you are a “mind reader” because you seem to know just what someone likes or needs? Do you tend to have a lot of compassion for others, even strangers?

This is a special gift and I want to highlight it today.

In our Western culture where science is king, we tend to minimize anything we cannot see or touch with our five senses. We downplay that “sixth sense” that we are all born with. Some of us have developed that sixth sense more than others. Some are born with it functioning at a higher level than most.

Helen Keller is quoted as saying, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.”

This gift of feeling empathy, or feeling others’ feelings, is something to be nurtured and prized. Most who have this gift are not honored for it – instead they are rejected as being “too sensitive” or “difficult” to have around because their sensitivity guides everything they do. They care deeply and they act acordingly.

I know – I am definitely part Betazoid. I FEEL the emotions of those around me – both positive and negative. Yes, it’s a gift, but it has often seemed like a curse. I have to thank Gene Roddenberry for coming up with the character of Deanna Troi because it inspired me that even though I was “different”, it was a good thing. This gift could help others.

Most people have at least a little touch of this “gift”. We call it intuition or having a “gut instinct” about someone or something. Some refer to it as “vibes”. For instance, you can be peacefully minding your own business when suddenly someone walks into the room full of anger or agitation. It “shifts” the atmosphere in the room significantly. We’ve all experienced this before. Studies show that angry people affect those around them without even saying a word. We are all atune to each other’s emotional state whether we are conscious of it or not. Thus the popular family saying, “If momma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy.” meaning that the mom’s emotions affect the entire family’s experience of their home life.

I am highlighting this “gift” today because I often see this struggle in my clients. They are sensitive to others, but they’ve been told they “shouldn’t” be. They sense underlying conflict in a relationship, but they tell themselves they are just “crazy” when in fact, there IS something wrong. They ignore their intuition and later pay the consequences when the “vibes” they got were right and they should have listened to them.

This gift deserves to be validated. Now, that I’ve adjusted my perspective about my own gift, I find that it is a wealth of information that assists me every day. Instead of ignoring it, I act on it and it proves me right over and over. It enables me to be a more caring and compassionate person, a better spouse, a helpful friend. There are many ways this “gift” helps me daily. I encourage you to pay attention to it!

What do you think? Are you part Betazoid? Are you willing to admit your special “gift” exists? Feel free to comment below. You can also contact me privately through my website http://www.destinysfreedom.com or send me an email at blog (at) destinysfreedom.com. If this is an area you’d like to explore, I’d love to coach you in this gift. It’s really just an added dimension of self-discovery and self-acceptance. ♥

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Forgiveness sets YOU free – not the other person

Choosing to Forgive … Unlocks the Cell to the Prison inside your heart – it sets YOU free!

Did you realize that? It’s kind of an oxymoron – it’s counterintuitive. We think that by holding a grudge we are making the other person “pay” for what they did to us. But in reality – they don’t feel a thing! WE are the ones in that prison cell.

Ponder that today ….

Can’t is a Four Letter Word

This post comes from a friend of mine who has an uncanny way with words.

Recently I had the pleasure of spending an afternoon at the beach, toes dug in the sand, warm water lapping, taking an easy stroll, pondering the intricacies of life with a dear loved one, and watching the sky pulse with beauty as the sun set. Ahhhh. Packing up that splendor along with the tiniest seashell and our mountain of make-the-moment-perfect stuff, we headed to my car.

Locked. Hmmm. Key? Arrgghh! Can you feel the peace begin to leak out of me? Yes, getting into my car should have been a relatively easy task, however on this particular occasion my hands were overflowing with stuff, as was the pocketbook I was digging through to find the keys. And someone was with me, hands equally full, waiting to lay down her burden in that still locked trunk. Oh, the pressure. Somewhere in the digging I called out, “I can’t find the keys.” Defeat.

In just a blink I was reminded of the power of words and immediately corrected the statement to, “Well, I haven’t found them yet, but they’re in here.” And just as quickly my attitude toward the situation changed. I went from the path to dismal frustration to the journey of committed perseverance. I knew the keys were in there and, like a veil lifting, I realized the factors that were interfering with my success were temporary. I knew that the stuff I was carrying were obstacles preventing me from finding them but those could be put down. I recognized the pressure that someone else was struggling because of me could be shifted to the comfort of having someone willing to be in the struggle with me (fortunately this was a grown up with power of choice not my 2-year-old grandson needing a nap or a potty ). My perception readjusted, my attitude quickly followed, and my outcome had no choice but to join the party. I headed home with the key in the ignition, the sea shell in my pocket, and the sunset in my rearview mirror.

“Can’t” is a statement of defeat, a permanent end. By definition it means “not able to”,” not knowing how to”, “not capable of” . . . what a lie. In just a breath I realized how many of us every day turn temporary setbacks into permanent failure by pledging to the flag of “I can’t”. Well, I’m here to remind you, YOU CAN! Ditch the stuff you are carrying, grab hold of the friend who is willing to share both the sunsets and the struggles, and find the key. It’s in there!



Pay attention this week to how often and how quickly you give up. When you hear yourself using “the C word” in situations where you could be soaring, immediately restate the situation. Remember, the setback is only temporary so make your words reflect that. Replace it with a powerful, “I am!, I can! I will!”

by Sonya O. Boyne, A Season of Comfort

This post originally appeared on Facebook on this profile today: https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/A-Season-of-Comfort-Inc/245163212220552

What does it look like for YOU to be free?

“You can be as FREE as you WANT to be. What does that look like for YOU?” – Sandy Walker

I posted this question a few weeks ago – it REALLY resonates with me so I’m posting it again. What DOES it look like for you to be free to be yourself? To love freely? To pursue what’s really in your heart?

What does freedom mean? It means whatever you want it to mean. Free to pursue the life you’ve always dreamed of. What does THAT look like for YOU?

Take time to dream today. And feel free to comment below. I’d love to hear from you! ♥