Sandy Walker's Blog, page 4

Fear is a WIMP!

Fear is a WIMP! Refuse to let it push YOU around!

Most people are amazed that Fear is actually very easy to overcome. It feels so paralyzing when it has you in its clutches. But the surprise is – when you confront your fear, it turns out to be a wimp! It doesn’t have any substance. See my previous post about this.

Most of what we fear or worry about never comes to pass.

Try it – confront a fear you have and see if it sticks around. Just like a bully, once you look Fear in the face and say, “Leave me alone!” with authority in your voice, it will back off. Fear is afraid to be challenged – it’s greatest power is in deceiving you into thinking it has more power than it really does.

Stand up to Fear – don’t let it push you around!

FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real – Look for Proof!

Most of us think our thoughts are accurate. We trust our own thinking so much that we do not think to question our own thoughts.

That’s why I love this statement – FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Often when we are afraid, it is not based on reality. It is based on assumptions and on inaccurate information.

When my clients express a fear, I ask them for proof. They pause, stammer a minute and then realize that they don’t have any. We are so used to just believing everything that comes to our minds that we lose the ability to examine what is at the root of our fears. I don’t want them to look silly (being unable to prove that their fear is based on reality), but at the same time, I want to teach them to question their assumptions.

For instance, a lady came to me once and said she wanted to become a confident communicator. She was afraid to start conversations at parties because she didn’t feel confident. We worked on some communication skills to help build her confidence. She improved and was ready to try out her new skills. However, she still felt afraid of “looking dumb”.

So, I asked her to prove it to me. “Are you dumb?” I asked. She gave me a shocked expression and said, “No, of course not!” Then I asked her if she had ever had trouble in school due to learning difficulties or speech impediments that made her “feel dumb” among other children. She said no.

“So how would you “look dumb” in conversation?” I asked her. I wanted her to figure out exactly what her fear was. What she realized was that “looking dumb” was a judgment. She was afraid that either someone else would judge what she had to say as “dumb” or she would think what she said was “dumb”. So we worked on these specific things. First, you cannot control other people’s judgment of you. She had to let that go. For her, the primary issue was judging herself as “dumb”. We did some work on that – to learn self-acceptance and self-compassion. And her fear melted away.

The next time she went to a social gathering, she emailed me to tell me how smoothly it went. She successfully started several conversation with strangers and acquaintances and never once did she “look dumb” in her estimation. Success!

Take some time to examine your fears. Can you find proof that what you imagine will happen actually has a good chance of happening? And if it does, then what? When we break down our fears, often we discover that they are based on a fuzzy sense of logic. By breaking them down, we can overcome them.

Try it and let me know how it works for you! ♥

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

False Intimacy leaves you empty

False Intimacy leaves you empty. It may LOOK like Intimacy but it doesn’t satisfy your soul … Don’t settle!

Do you know the difference between true and false intimacy? Your soul does. If you have an intimate encounter and you feel empty afterwards … guess what? That’s false intimacy.

True intimacy leaves you feeling safe, loved and satisfied.

If your heart feels empty, it’s because it is not receiving True Love.

People use each other all the time. It may look like intimacy, it may look like what happens in the movies, but your heart feels empty later. That’s one indicator you can trust to tell you that it’s not real intimacy.

Please don’t settle. You are worth more than that. Once you decide you deserve real intimacy with real love, it will come to you. Close the door to any relationship that is not worthy of you. You deserve to be loved, not used. You know the difference – trust your gut. It won’t lead you wrong.

Look around and ask, “Where is the Love?” Follow that path. It will lead you where you want to go.

Don’t be afraid. You are not alone. As you pursue what is authentic and true for you, you will find others just like you who are tired of false intimacy.

If this is something you’d like some help with, please contact me. I specialize in helping people find what they are looking for. :)

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

You are eternal … what’s your hurry?

What’s your hurry? You are eternal. You have all the time you need today.

A gentle reminder that you don’t need to be rushing around all the time. Trust your instincts. Trust God to direct your steps … and stop being in such a hurry every day. Slow down, enjoy life – you are eternal. You have all the time you need to accomplish what is essential today.

If you are not in control of it, let it go … your heart will thank you. ♥

Trust God – Your Heart Will Thank You ♥

Trust God – Your Heart Will Thank You ♥

Be at peace: Your ♥ will thank you

STOP STRIVING! Be at peace: Your heart will thank you!

What does it mean to be free?

Here’s something to think about …what does does it mean to be free?

You may have seen my tag line, “You can be as FREE as you WANT to be – what does that look like for YOU?” What does freedom mean to you? Some would say it’s freedom from emotional pain, stress or conflict. Others might say it is “freedom to be me” without fear or embarrassment. Many of us enjoy great freedom in the United States – we are not restricted in the type of job we can choose, the type of house or apartment we live in, the place we can drive and visit. We have a lot of external freedom, unlike some countries.

But external freedom only goes so far in helping us find happiness. If you are not free on the inside to enjoy life, then your external freedom doesn’t really mean much to you. I know many people who WISH they could be free from fear, anxiety, rejection, discouragement, stress, disappointment, etc. Are you one of them? Do you know HOW to find freedom from these things? Personal freedom is something only YOU can choose – no one else can do it for you. I am excited that I can be as FREE as I want to be – it’s something I work on every day. I WANT to be free … from stress, worry, feeling anxious, etc. How about you?

Think about your experience of daily life. Which things would you like to be free from? Make a short list. Pick 1 thing from your list and ponder how to become free of it. Making a small change in your daily life can reap BIG rewards.

If you get stuck, contact me for a coaching session to help you find the freedom you want. You’ll be surprised how simple it is to find freedom when you know what steps to take. I’ll help you.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

You CAN be happy and enjoy life

You can be happy and enjoy life. It really is possible. Even for YOU. – Sandy Walker

YOU ARE LOVED! ♥ ♥ ♥

YOU ARE LOVED! ♥

Never Alone… Love is all around you

Sandy Walker:

This is a powerful illustration of a simple truth we all need to remember. I love Julie’s photography – go check out her other posts too ♥

Originally posted on Ramblings From Jewels:

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When I first started putting this together, I initially had only the one little lonely heart hanging there, but then I thought to myself  “No… this isn’t true.  No heart is ever truly alone… Love is all around us, everywhere.”  So I added all of the other little opalescent hearts to illustrate that.  Sometimes we can’t see it, but if we shift our perspective just a little bit, it begins to come into focus.

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