Sandy Walker's Blog, page 10

Overcoming Blocks in Pursuing Your Destiny: Part 3

For those of you who are pressing forward to pursue your destiny or “passionate purpose in life”, here are some pointers of what to do when you encounter a “blockage”. I will post this in parts because it’s a lot to take in.

For those of you just joining us, you can start with Part 1 here.

In Part 2, we covered the importance of Meditation/Mindfulness, Trusting Your Gut and Relinquishing Control.

Today is the last part of this 3 part post.

7. Look for “signposts” and follow them. Be encouraged by them no matter how small they might seem. Write them down to keep track of them. Once you’ve got clarity, the “signposts” just show up, don’t they? Serendipity, Synchronicity, Providence, Being at the Right Place at the Right Time, etc. Things just seem to start “clicking” again – you notice little signs of encouragement that you are on the right track. This can happen while you still “feel” blocked or you lack direction about what to do next. Let the signs encourage you that you are not crazy and there’s still hope!

Here’s the most important and the most overlooked step:

8. WAIT – this is the hardest one. Sometimes it’s a matter of timing – you are blocked because it’s not time to act yet. This is especially true when you cannot get clarity or peace about making a decision. Remember: You’ll know WHAT to do when it’s TIME to do something. And often, you’ll feel “stuck” while you are waiting. If you’ve done points 1 to 7 and still have no idea what to do or which direction to take, then the obvious answer is: Wait. Even if it is hard to do so.

9. Relax and have fun. This is supposed to be an exhilarating adventure. If at any point, you no longer have joy, STOP. You are doing something wrong. It is possible to get so passionate about what you are doing that it drives you to exhaustion and burn out. Don’t let that happen. Childlike joy and wonder is the energy behind following your destiny. Make room for it every single day. I promise you won’t regret it.

One last pointer from personal experience:

Surround yourself with people who understand these principles so that they can help you when you feel stuck. They do exist. I specifically cultivate relationships with people who know these things so that when I need a sounding board or another perspective, they can remind me. They might not know all the principles, but they have experienced at least some of them and they help me identify which stage I’m in.

Of course, I am available for consultation – that’s what I’m here for. I am passionate about people finding and fulfilling their destiny. I seem to have a special knack for helping people become “unstuck” when they feel blocked on their path. So, if that’s you, contact me and I’ll help you.

Here’s to your destiny being fulfilled!

Feel free to comment below. You can contact me privately through my website http://www.destinysfreedom.com or send me an email at blog (at) destinysfreedom.com.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Overcoming Blocks in Pursuing Your Destiny: Part 2

For those of you who are pressing forward to pursue your destiny or “passionate purpose in life”, here are some pointers of what to do when you encounter a “blockage”. I will post this in parts because it’s a lot to take in.

For those of you just joining us, you can start with Part 1 here.

Last time, we covered Acknowledging and Identifying the Blockage, looking for a Reframe and using Tools to clear the blockage. Today we will continue with:

4. Meditation/Mindfulness – practice this for clarity. Most people I know who successfully follow their destiny have some way to “clear their minds” of all the mental clutter. For some, this is a spiritual practice like meditation or prayer. For others, it is taking deep breaths and being mindful or being fully present. Some of us find this clarity and tranquility while walking on the beach or in the stillness of the woods. Others turn on music that inspires them, that helps them reconnect with their truest self. Whatever works for you, do it.

5. Trust your gut – pay attention, what is it telling you? When there are a lot of emotions involved, sometimes it takes time to “hear” clearly from your gut. Research has shown that there is a very dense concentration of nerves that cover an area of the stomach we refer to as our “gut”. It is almost as complex as the nerves in your brain. Some have said this is your “second brain” to help you make wise decisions. I have a specific exercise to help my clients listen to their gut and identify what it is saying to you. If you need help with this, read this post.

6. Consciously Relinquish Control. Keep telling yourself, “I am not in control. It is what it is. Let it go.” Saying it out loud helps too. Part of following your destiny is realizing you are not in control of the process. When you think you are, you develop a false sense of responsibility – this adds to your stress. Stress blocks you from BEING who you are – which is the key to your destiny. So, avoid stress at all costs. One way to do that is to remind yourself that you are not in control of the process. Destiny is acknowledging and aligning yourself with something greater than yourself. That “Greatness” is in control and you are cooperating with it. Remain mindful of that. It keeps you humble and able to follow, not lead, your destiny.

Which one of these points is hardest for you?

There’s one more part to this 3 part post. It’s coming soon – and it’s got the most important and the most overlooked step. Stay tuned …

Feel free to comment below. You can contact me privately through my website http://www.destinysfreedom.com or send me an email at blog (at) destinysfreedom.com.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Overcoming Blocks in Pursuing Your Destiny: Part 1

For those of you who are pressing forward to pursue your destiny or “passionate purpose in life”, here are some pointers of what to do when you encounter a “blockage”. I will post this in parts because it’s a lot to take in.

1. Acknowledge and Identify the Blockage – admit it. Put a name to it (i.e. I am afraid of …. or I am unable to … etc.). This might take awhile. If you get stuck, find a friend who can brainstorm with you. This is the most important step – what exactly is it that is holding you back from moving forward? I have found in my work with clients that most of the obstacles are internal, not external. It is something you fear or something you believe about yourself, about life or about others that holds you back. Sometimes it is a feeling – “I just can’t …” which reveals a lack of trust in yourself or in the goodness of the Universe to support you in your efforts.

2. Reframe – what’s the bigger picture? What is the Cosmos trying to get me to see that I am not seeing? What can I learn from this blockage? Often blockages occur because there’s something bigger going on. Not only is it important to Identify the blockage, but look at the big picture. There’s usually great insight to be gained if you do this step. Find a philosophical friend and ask them for their insight. Ponder how this blockage relates to other areas of your life.

3. Use tools to clear the blockages. How do you overcome your fear? How do you get to the truth of the matter when you have a possible misconception about life? There’s different ways to do this. I have developed some tools I use with my clients. The one I use for releasing the blockage of fear is called Fear Finder (click to see it). I also have other tools called Lie Detectors – they are in my books along with the Fear Finder exercise. I have been really surprised how easy these tools are to use and how significantly they impact my clients.

That’s all for now. There are more points to this post – I’ll continue them in a day or two.

What have you found to be most useful in removing the blocks that hold you back from your purpose?

Feel free to comment below. You can contact me privately through my website http://www.destinysfreedom.com or send me an email at blog (at) destinysfreedom.com.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

What does freedom look like for you?

You CAN be free. That bears repeating. Let me say it again:

YOU CAN BE FREE!

What does that mean?

I don’t know about you but my whole life has been a struggle. Who am I? What am I on earth for? What’s the point?

Why is life so hard? We struggle each day to make it – make money to pay the bills, make things work for our families, keep track of all our responsibilities. It’s a LOT of work, isn’t it?

Doctors say we are all dying of diseases caused from STRESS. You’ve read the statistics. You know what I mean.

So what’s the answer?

The answer is – you can be FREE. When you are free, you don’t stress about much. You feel at peace. You are happy. You actually experience JOY on a daily basis. You have a sense of wonder – a sense of excitement and adventure about your life.

You have a sense of “rightness” about your life. You have passion and purpose each day.

If this seems unattainable to you, then that’s why you are here reading this. Because you need to know that it IS possible to enjoy this kind of freedom.

I never knew you could be THIS free until I started to experience it for myself. No, this is not a sales pitch. This is my reality. I found freedom and I am so excited about it that I can’t keep my mouth shut. I want everyone around me to know this kind of freedom too.

That’s why I blog. That’s why I’ve written two books about freedom. That’s why I’m on Facebook. That’s why I have a website with tools to help you find freedom.

You really CAN be free. Free to enjoy your life. Free to live from a place of passionate pursuit of joy instead of daily struggle to survive. I did the surviving thing for too long – I didn’t know how to be free. Now I do. It’s not complicated, but it does take work. I’m not going to lie to you and say it’s easy. It’s not easy … but it is totally worth it.

Here’s a question for you to ponder: You can be as free as you want to be – what does that look like for you?

Please comment below with your answer. Or you can contact me privately through my website http://www.destinysfreedom.com or send me an email at blog (at) destinysfreedom.com.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Who do you want to be?

When the New Year starts, there is often a sense of anticipation. Starting a New Year feels like a fresh start – new possibilities, new ideas, new doors of opportunity.

So start with this question today: Who do you want to be?

Many people think of their New Year’s resolutions in terms of measurable goals.

“I’m going to lose 20 pounds by summer.” Sound familiar?

But, there’s a principle in life that many people forget. What you DO comes out of WHO you are.

So take some time today and consider – who do you want to BE?

I don’t want you to think of someone you’d like to be LIKE (i.e. I want to be like Abraham Lincoln). I want you to take some time to imagine what YOU would be like if you could be your best self. What would that look like?

Would you be more patient? More creative? More outgoing?

What is it that you would like to be? Can you describe it? If you will pay attention to it, it will grow. If you decide you want to be more creative, the more you think about it, you will find yourself BEING more creative. You will find yourself taking more time to BE creative. It just happens. It’s not even very hard to do. Really, I promise!

So, as you start this New Year – consider who you want to BE – the New You. The more you think about it, the more you’ll see it happening right before your eyes.

I’d like to hear what you’d like to be. Drop me a line at blog (at) destinysfreedom.com

Feel free to comment below. You can contact me privately through my website http://www.destinysfreedom.com or send me an email at blog (at) destinysfreedom.com.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Interview with Sandy Walker

Book Review Buzz recently interviewed me about my new book, 30 Days to Freedom.

Here’s the interview:

Interview with Sandy Walker,Freedom Coach,

Author of 30 Days to Freedom: Daily Exercises to Set Your Heart Free and Freedom through Forgiveness: The Power of Forgiveness Can Change Your Life.

Website: www.destinysfreedom.com

Q.What excites you most about your book’s topic? Why did you choose it?

What excites me most is the idea that we CAN be free – free of the emotional baggage we’ve all been carrying around our entire lives. We get so used to it that sometimes we stop looking for more. I chose this topic to encourage people to look for MORE – more fulfillment in life, more love in relationships, more peace and purpose in their daily experience of life. I developed many of these exercises and published them in my first book, Freedom through Forgiveness, but then I realized that people needed a way to practice them a little bit each day. As a result, 30 Days to Freedom was developed.

Q. How long did the book take you from start to finish?

It took me about a year to write because I was working on other projects at the same time.

Q. What aspect of writing the book did you find particularly challenging?

Imagining all the different scenarios for the characters in my book was a little daunting. I’m not used to writing fiction. I chose to include short stories in almost every chapter as a learning tool. My goal was to evoke universal feelings so that the reader could find something in common with the characters in each vignette.

Q. What surprised you the most about the book writing process?

For the first time, I experienced writer’s block. I had to find a way to work around it – that was a new experience for me. I also am amazed when I go back and read what I wrote and I can’t remember writing it. I find lines that are funny that I’m sure I didn’t write, but no one else had access to my files so I must have written them! Since I worked on the book on and off for a year, I guess I forgot what I wrote. I wonder if other authors experience this “forgetfulness” and surprise.

Q. What do you hope your readers will gain from reading your book?

FREEDOM from what holds them back – whatever that is. It is different for every person, but since we are all human there are definitely some common threads – like insecurity, feeling like you don’t fit in, not sure of what direction to take in life, etc. I hope they will find HOPE to keep searching for the freedom they long for. We all long to be ourselves and free from what holds us back, don’t we? I hope readers are encouraged that someone believes they CAN be free.

Q. What projects are you currently working on?

I am working on a fiction book – I enjoyed writing the short stories in this book and it inspired me to start thinking of a larger story or maybe several short novelettes combined into one book. I want to give the reader a taste of what it is like to work with a Freedom Coach – someone who helps them find freedom from whatever holds them back from enjoying a deeply satisfying life.

Q. Is writing your sole career? If not, what else do you do?

I am an author, a public speaker and a life coach. I work with people one-on-one, helping them determine what obstacles are holding them back from pursuing their heart’s desire and how to overcome or remove those obstacles. I use tools and techniques that help people open themselves up to new possibilities – this allows them to step out and take action on their dreams. My clients often remark how amazingly simple the process is and yet how deeply rewarded they are for taking the time to work with a coach. I also offer workshops in the community and I am a frequent guest speaker in several college classes in Miami, FL where I live.

Q. Did you do any research for your books, or did you write from experience?

I wrote primarily from personal experience. I have been “researching” personal freedom ever since I realized I wasn’t free. That was over 20 years ago. Along the way I learned some things and most recently, a few years ago, I discovered some new techniques that really made a significant, lasting impact in my life and in those I worked with. I used to carry around photocopies of these techniques because after I did one with a new client, they always asked for a copy. It made sense to put them in a book so that others could benefit from the incredible freedom I was experiencing. I hope people will check out my books and find the encouragement they need to become their “best selves”. The world is waiting for them! We need their gifts and their creativity – without them we are suffering. Too often our “baggage” limits our ability to share our gifts with others. My goal is to help as many people as possible find the freedom to let their gifts and creativity out to benefit the world.

You can contacted Sandy Walker through her website at www.destinysfreedom.com

They also posted a review of my book on their site: http://bookreviewbuzz.blogspot.com/20...

Stay Hungry

Hunger keeps you humble – it keeps you aware of your need, your dependence on MORE. Being hungry means you need more than what you have right now or have previously experienced.

So how do you “stay hungry”?

Being hungry is the opposite of being numb.

Avoid anything that distracts you from your inner longing, your burning desire for MORE.

Hunger is the heart’s natural state. When it is satisfied, just like with our stomach, it is brief. We do not eat once a day, we eat several times a day.

So with our hearts – we long for MORE, often not even knowing what MORE looks like. But we know we will KNOW it when we get it.

Staying hungry means not ignoring the burning longing of your soul. It is an uncomfortable feeling – to be hungry.

Many opt to fill the emptiness with junk food – quick fixes that do not satisfy your need for nourishment. You can do that physically as well as spiritually.

Stay hungry for what truly satisfies. Pursue it until you find it. Feed on it often and then let your hunger guide you to MORE.

Stay hungry!

Be Real to Be Loved

So many of us hide behind a “persona”. This is our “acceptable” side, the face we show others, regardless of how we may really be feeling inside.

I see this all the time in public settings. Two people greet each other,

“Hi. How ya doing?”

“Great! And you?”

“Couldn’t be better. See ya later.”

“Yep. See you.”

This could happen in the hallway at work or when you pass a coworker’s office. I see it happen in the lobby of churches and fitness centers. Anywhere that people interact on a surface level – just being friendly and polite. We’re all doing “great”.

Except that we aren’t really, are we?

Well, maybe we are on some days. But you know that there’s often something “not great” stirring just below the surface.

Then there’s friends. A friend asks, “How are you?” And we should be honest, right? Have you noticed how rare it is that someone asks that question and then actually waits to hear the answer? If you say, “Um, okay. I guess.” There’s no pause – they jump in and start talking about whatever it is they wanted to tell you. So, the real you, the one that no one sees, doesn’t come out. The “I’m okay” persona has spoken and everyone assumes you really are okay.

We live our lives trying to measure up to everyone else’s expectations. We create “personas” for the different environments we live in – our home life, work life, social life, etc. Each persona has been carefully crafted to make sure that we say the right things, in the right way at the right time. It works to keep our lives moving along smoothly.

Except for one thing.

Nobody knows who we really are, maybe not even us … and that’s lonely. Even if we are “accepted” at home, at work and in our social relationships, it still feels “empty”. Because we think, “If they knew who I really was, deep down, would they still like me?”

To be loved you’ve got to be real. When people love the “persona” you’ve created, do they love the real you? No, they don’t know the real you. Why? Because you’ve never taken off the mask and shown them the real you. It’s not their fault. Creating that persona was your choice, your coping mechanism to feel accepted, to fit in.

Choosing to be real, to take off the mask, can be incredibly scary and intimidating. Especially if you’ve never done it. Or if you’ve never done it with someone who’s opinion matters to you.

I want to encourage you today to start being real. It’s worth it to take the step to be real so you can be really loved. Yes, some won’t like it. But there will be others who will. I promise. When you are real, the right people are drawn to you – other people who value being real. And then honest relationships develop – ones based on reality, not fantasy.

It is tremendously freeing to be real. No more fake masks. True Freedom to be who you really are inside. So few are that courageous.

Then when someone loves you, they love the REAL you and you will really FEEL loved. It’s truly worth it to experience that kind of love. It’s what we all secretly long for.

“… once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand… once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.” ― The Velveteen Rabbit

Be Real to Be Loved – it’s something your heart is longing for.

Feel free to comment below. You can contact me privately through my website www.destinysfreedom.com or by sending me an email at blog (at) destinysfreedom.com.

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Is Fear Controlling You?

Is Fear controlling your life – it might be and you don’t even know it!

How do you know when fear is controlling you? Here are some examples:

You feel intimidated to talk to your boss
You are afraid to talk to your spouse about something that needs to change
You feel nervous before you have to give a speech
You feel inferior when you are with friends or coworkers
You hesitate from sharing your opinion in group discussions
You are afraid to speak to someone you don’t know
You accommodate the wishes of others when you’d rather not
You don’t know how to say, “No”, when asked to do something
You feel anxious about whether something bad might happen to you or your loved ones
You are overly cautious about making plans for the future
You dread going to work in the morning
You are uncertain whether things are going to work out for you
You dread visiting your parents or other relatives
You worry about the safety of your children
You feel insecure in a relationship or in a new job
You are afraid to ask someone out on a date

There are so many ways that fear comes out in our daily lives. We are surrounded by it. The news media uses it to their advantage because what makes us afraid captures our attention, doesn’t it? Look at how many news headlines are meant to instill fear. Here are some examples:

“Police say NJ man kept girlfriend locked in room for years”

“Chinese serial killer shot dead after massive manhunt”

“’Corpse’ floating down river causes scene”

“Record-setting python found in Florida”

“Mysterious radioactive sinkhole in Louisiana”

“Consumer Confidence Improves, but Dark Clouds Loom”

We often don’t admit to ourselves that we are afraid. We deny it or pretend it doesn’t bother us. We might be concerned that if we acknowledged our fears, they would overwhelm us in their intensity. This then becomes a fear of being afraid – a double whammy. So instead we “zone out” and numb ourselves to the underlying fear we have.

Here’s a list of common fears that people have – can you relate to any of these?

Fear of being alone, fear of abandonment
Fear of change, fear of not being in control
Fear of the dark
Fear of dying, fear of death, fear of pain/illness
Fear of failure
Fear of heights, fear of falling, fear of flying
Fear of intimacy, fear of commitment
Fear of public speaking
Fear of rejection
Fear of spiders, snakes, dogs or other creatures
Fear of the unknown, fear of the unseen

I hate Fear. Fear is not a friendly foe. Fear causes you to freeze, to feel controlled or manipulated, to be unable to move forward in your life. Fear causes you to hesitate or withdraw. I hate Fear – it is a tormentor from as far back as I can remember.

There is hope though! I don’t want to leave you in despair. Once I made the decision to no longer tolerate Fear in my life, I learned some wonderful things that helped me get rid of it. But first I had to recognize the ways it was holding me back. Then I had to believe there was a better way – that I COULD be free from fear. Finally, I had to get mad and decide to reject its power in my life. That was the most freeing step of all.

I am happy to say that now, I really am pretty fearless. I am confident and at peace most of the time. In fact, sometimes other people are intimidated by me because of my confidence. (It’s funny how that works – people who are less secure are intimidated by confidence.)

I want people to be free of fear because I see how much it hurts them. I know how much it hurt me – until I decided to become free.

So, if you’re curious and you want to find freedom from fear, start paying attention to it in your life. When are you afraid? Admit it. What would you do if you weren’t afraid? Are you ready to do something about it?

If so, I’ve got a simple little exercise on my website that has helped many people find freedom from fear. No, it’s not a “cure all”, but it sure does help. Getting rid of fear is a process and it takes work. It seems we have “layers” of fear – what a concept.

If you’d like help with overcoming your fears, contact me for coaching. I’ll help you. Maybe what I’ve learned can help you and encourage you in your journey.

Here’s to your freedom!

You can contact me privately through my website http://destinysfreedom.com or by sending me an email at blog (at) destinysfreedom.com.

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Do you believe in yourself?

Do you believe in yourself?

It takes a lot of courage and confidence to believe in yourself. And most people do not have that kind of courage or confidence. Some people try to pretend that they do – the whole “fake it ‘til you make it” concept – but it often comes across as cocky, arrogant and self-centered. True confidence comes with humility and grace. There is a big difference – most people can spot a phony and it immediately reduces their opinion of you.

How do you believe in yourself then?

What works for me is to believe in something greater than myself. I see evidence of a Greater Good orchestrating events around me, don’t you? How about when you think of a certain friend you haven’t heard from in awhile? You contact them and find out that they needed to talk to you. You called at just the right time.

Or in business, you are thinking of a new idea and just the right person contacts you with something that will make that new idea work.

This happens to me regularly. I’m sure it happens to you too – are you paying attention to these “coincidences”? That’s orchestration. That’s proof that there is something bigger going on – something we don’t see, but something we can become aware of, if we pay attention.

When I think about how I am part of something bigger, something that is working for the Greater Good of the world, it gives me confidence and courage. I know that I am here for a reason. I am part of an orchestra – I play my part and trust that the Conductor will make it all work together so that it comes out as beautiful music.

I am confident that I have something unique to offer. I am confident that I am here for a reason and that without my sound, the orchestra would be missing something essential to the music being played in this century. It may be hard to identify sometimes, but I trust that if my part was not essential, then I would not be here right now.

This confidence gives me courage to be who I am – without explanation, without excuses. Who I am is enough. I am valuable and I have something to contribute that is uniquely my own.

So, how do you develop confidence and courage to believe in yourself? What gives you the motivation to get up in the morning and face the day? Do you believe in something bigger than yourself?

Feel free to comment below. You can contact me privately through my website www.destinysfreedom.com or send me an email at blog (at) destinysfreedom.com.