Phil Taylor's Blog: The Phil Factor, page 76

Moist People Hate a Certain Word. Do You Know What It Is?

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There are a lot of people who cringe when someone has voiced moist. Yes, that’s right, I’m going to foist moist upon you. I might even carve moist upon on joist. Then I would hoist the moist joist. Look at how much fun I just had with the word moist! That’s the moist fun I’ve ever had with just one word.

So which side of the moist joist do you fall on? Are you like me, just going blithely through life unperturbed by the word moist? Or do you cringe when you hear moist? Does it make you uncom...

Throwback Thursday! An Open Letter To Vespa Dude

Here is a classic Phil Factor from August 2008. Enjoy!

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Dear Vespa Dude,

You are SO not cool. I don’t care if you wear a leather jacket and helmet with dark visor, that does not make your scooter a motorcycle. I don’t care if you get 80 miles to the gallon of gas. After two weeks of riding your Vespa, the savings should allow you to buy a real motorcycle or maybe even a car. You’re an adult and you’re riding a SCOOTER! Let that sink in for a moment… If you had any minuscule shot at getting a...

Want To Play Phil Factor Fantasy Football?

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I effing love the alliteration in that title, don’t you? So, I know this is a weird thing to ask in the blogosphere, but would anyone want to join a fantasy football league comprised of bloggers? I love my fantasy football and in fact I got my start blogging with my own fantasy sports site in 2005.

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Image property of the National Football League

I like most of you people and I like fantasy football so I thought I’d combine them. If you’re interested, just say so in the comments. The first eit...

Wordless Wednesday! Outdoor Art Gallery

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These pictures are from a beautiful outdoor art gallery in Jamestown, NY.

Have a great Wednesday! ~Phil

Tagged: outdoor art gallery, outdoor art gallery Jamestown, Street art, The Phil Factor, Wordless Wednesday

Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Worst Lies Ever

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10. Sure you can pet him. He’s friendly. He’s never bitten anyone in his life! ~every dog owner ever, right before their dog bites you.

9. Hold still. This will only hurt a little bit. ~doctors, dentists, and…

8. I don’t need a list. I’ll remember! ~husbands, right before they forget everything on your list.

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7. No. I’m not mad. ~women who are obviously mad.

6. It’s OK. I have plenty of time! ~all of us, when we definitely don’t have enough time.

5. I’ll write a blog and become famous! ~me,...

Music Monday! Portugal. The Man

Portugal. The Man is actually five men from Portland Oregon who met in high school in Alaska. The band’s name came from the idea that they wanted it to have a bigger than life feel, so they named it after a country. This song which is quite popular in the states is from their album Woodstock, which was released earlier this year. It’s a weird video. I don’t claim to understand it.

Have a great Monday! ~Phil

Tagged: Feel It Still, Music Monday, Portugal. The Man, The Phil Factor

Dear Donald Trump,

Dear Donald Trump,

I’m only using “Dear” in the most traditional sense, not because I have an affection for you, but because it is traditional and respectful to start a letter that way. Traditional and respectful are both things with which you seem unfamiliar. I have taken it upon myself to write this letter to you on behalf of the rest of the human race. Yes, I said the rest of the human race, as if we are separate from you. Your words and actions seem to indicate that you are very separate...

Throwback Thursday! It’s the End of The World…again

In honor of the giant Perseid Meteor Shower that’s happening Saturday night, I thought it might be helpful if I reminded people that if those meteors hit the planet, it could be lights out for the human race. Enjoy this classic Phil Factor from last year that addresses this very issue.

Don’t worry. I’ll save us all. According to some crazy ‘scientists’ and conspiracy theorists the world is going to end in about two to six weeks. It’s nice that they gave us a window isn’t it? Usually when crac...

Wordless Wednesday! GPS Problems

I live in the United States. Yesterday I was putting a location into my GPS in my car. As you can see, the first suggestion that my GPS had was that I might be driving to the British Isles. I wish I had tapped that suggestion to see what route it would have suggested. Have a great Wednesday! ~Phil

Tagged: GPS, GPS humor, The Phil Factor, Wordless Wednesday

Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Laws I’d Make If I Were President

In the immortal words of Billy Blazejowski, “I’m an idea man Chuck.” In many of my posts I’ve used my now familiar phrase, “When I’m elected President or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first…”  In an effort to further my candidacy for both of those positions, I have compiled, ten of the laws that have followed the phrase “When I’m elected President or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first…” These laws will henceforth be known as The Phil Laws.

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1. No more Leap Year extra day. Make all...