Steven Colborne's Blog, page 31

A Positive Way Forward

This is an update following my recent post about my experience of being on the verge of homelessness. In the post, I shared that it was counter-intuitive to me that God would want me to hold on to and not relinquish my tenancy, but that I felt the best thing to do was trust what I understood God was telling me to do.

One commenter (in a spirit of graciousness and a desire to help) questioned whether I was hearing the voice of God correctly. I responded that it’s impossible to know, but that I felt the best thing to do was to trust in what I heard God saying, even if I didn’t understand the reasons for His directions.

Today, I was in a cafe, and I bumped into a guy who has become a friend through a few chance encounters in the cafe. We have a lot of experiences in common and I consider him to be a very kind and intelligent guy. We chatted this afternoon for a long while, and I explained to him all about my difficult accommodation situation. To cut a long story short, the subject of court proceedings was raised, and he encouraged me that the wisest thing I can do is pursue legal proceedings against my neighbour.

As I thought about it, it made perfect sense. This could be the reason why God has been telling me not to relinquish my tenancy, and the reason why I have been gathering many documents of evidence detailing the antisocial and dangerous behaviour I have been subjected to. I prayed about it, and God assured me that this is the right way forward.

I now feel a great sense of relief. Obviously, taking someone to court is no easy matter, and there will likely be some hard work and stress involved. But the most important thing for me is that I am doing God’s will, whatever it is. My overarching ambition in life is to be obedient to God’s will and live in a way that pleases Him so that I may be blessed in this life, be a blessing to others, and avoid the fires of hell on Judgement Day.

So much has happened since I’ve been living in that property and even though I have detailed notes, there is always the worry that I might not recall something correctly, that I would say the wrong thing in court, that I would not be allowed to explain something fully, and other such worries. But I must trust in God that if I prayerfully ask Him to help me convey the truth, that He will bring justice and a happy resolution.

This breakthrough comes after many of you kindly said you would pray for me. God has answered your prayers and mine. I am still in a financially troubling position and would still be grateful for donations if any of you are in a position to help me out. I won’t be going back to the flat until this matter is resolved, unless God wills otherwise. So I don’t know where I will be sleeping from night to night. You can find the donations page here if you would like to help support me to pay for emergency food and accommodation.

I do not have money to instruct a solicitor, but fortunately there are some avenues that I can pursue that may enable me to get legal support free of charge. This is today’s prayer request, that I would find legal help from a person (or persons) that are friendly, understanding, helpful, and supportive.

I will say again that I feel a huge sense of relief now that I have a clear sense of what to do. Thank you again for reading my blog and for your support and your prayers. May God bless you all.

Prayer and Donations Request

I spent the last couple of nights back at the flat. Although there were no incidents (I am always careful to avoid confrontations), the atmosphere in the building was horrible, with my neighbour slamming the front door aggressively yesterday night and generally trying to cause trouble, as he always does.

I stayed up late into the night reading through all the notes I have made over the last eight years; everything he has done that has been unkind, everything that has been a breach of his tenancy agreement, everything that is illegal, everything that is deceptive, everything that is confrontational. I have around 20 documents detailing everything he has put me through, explaining why I have been in emergency accommodation three times, had two breakdowns and dragged myself to A&E both times, spent nights wandering the streets of London, started smoking from the immense stress…

I cannot stay in that building any longer. Being around evil drives me mad. Living with evil for eight years has pushed me to my limits. There have been times when I’ve despaired so much I’ve lay on the floor crying, pleading with God to give me a breakthrough and free me from the oppressive atmosphere and perpetual wickedness.

People ask me, why don’t you just move out? Don’t think I haven’t prayed for God to help and guide me every day — of course I have. I have tried to hear and obey the voice of God even when His direction has been counter-intuitive to me. God is infinitely wise. He has repeatedly said to me that I should not resign my tenancy, so I have obeyed. I did try to move out on one occasion, but it didn’t work out and I ended up back at the flat. I’m not going to explain the intricacies of the housing system in London, but let me just say it’s a nightmare trying to find peaceful accommodation with a good landlord. And if God directs me not to relinquish my tenancy, even if I don’t fully understand His reasons why, I will obey.

After staying awake all night, I left the flat this morning at 4am. I got buses around London, just to stay out of the cold. I have booked two nights in a cheap hotel, but I am nearly £1000 into my overdraft. I am trusting in God, who never ceases to amaze me with the kindest blessings even when I have no sense of where I’m heading. I feel close to God and like His promises to me are real and true and that I can trust Him. I just have to hang on and keep pressing forward; He is teaching me through all of this and I am learning so much.

I understand why people turn to smoking. I understand why homeless people end up turning to alcohol. I understand the fear of being out on the street at night and how alcohol can numb the anxiety. I understand how expensive being homeless in London is, how very long the days are and how the nights are even longer. I understand people looking at you with disdain because you have an aura of homelessness about you. I understand staying out all night in the freezing cold. I understand all of this now, and God is teaching me by way of these trials because He wants me to help make a difference in the world. This is the way I see things.

If you believe in God, I would appreciate your prayers. I feel as though I ask for prayers a lot on this blog and I feel indebted to those who have prayed for me and continue to pray for me — I hope God repays you abundantly for kindly supporting me in the very best way there is.

I’m in a cafe now. It’s six hours until I can check into the hotel and I am so tired, having not slept a wink. I’m grateful it’s only six hours to wait! I met a gentleman the other day who has been homeless for nineteen years and is an alcoholic. His name is Kevin and he’s a lovely guy. Nineteen years sleeping on pavements. He said he enjoys the freedom, that living with others is a nightmare. I understand. Thanks be to God for letting me understand what leads people like Kevin into such adversity.

If you’re in a financially fortunate position, I’d be most grateful if you would take a look at my donations page and consider helping me out. Obviously, if you can’t afford to help, you need not feel guilty — pray about it and only do so if God leads you to. You can also help me out by reblogging this post, or simply saying a prayer for my safety.

I’ve made the decision to sell my laptop because I need the extra money. This saddens me, because writing is my great passion, and I feel rather lost without a computer. Fortunately, I have a smartphone, so I may still be able to write blog posts using the WordPress app, though it will be harder to write in-depth posts with Scripture quotations and such, as this is difficult on a phone.

I can’t keep my eyes open so I must go back into the cold to wake myself up. I don’t know where I will go, but God is in control. Thanks again for your support.

Note: I wrote the majority of this blog post yesterday (8th March 2022). I am publishing it today from the hotel room.

A Round-up of my Recent Posts

I hope you are all doing well today. I thought I would offer a recap of what I’ve been posting about recently, which includes some theological posts and a few personal updates. Part of the reason why I’m doing this is because I had an issue with the dates of my blog posts. WordPress does this annoying thing where if you create a draft, and later edit and publish that post, by default it publishes to the time the draft was created, rather than the time of publication. Which is bonkers. You have to remember to update the post to ‘publish immediately’ otherwise your post won’t appear in the Reader on the right date. Which means most people won’t see it. Annoying, hey?

Personal Posts

Would You Walk Out in Front of a Bus?

In the above post, I reflected on my personal circumstances and discussed the subject of walking into dangerous situations and why this is usually unwise. I wrote about how the way housing issues are dealt with in London is very frustrating.

Just Be Kind

In this post, I discussed some of my experiences related to being close to homelessness in London, including some of the things I witnessed while staying in a budget hotel. I discussed the fact that it’s better to live in poverty and do good than be wealthy and do evil. And pigeons! I wrote about pigeons.

Don’t Just Write into the Void: Read Other Blogs!

Once in a while I try to offer some blogging tips to newbie bloggers, as I’ve been doing this blogging thing for over a decade now. This post proved popular and I’m delighted some of you found my tips helpful. Take a look at this post if you’re frustrated that not many people are responding to your posts.

Theological Posts

In Times of Conflict, Focus on God

The above post was inspired by the current conflict between Russia and Ukraine. It’s not a political post though; on the contrary, I argue in the post that in all situations it’s best to be mindful of God and focus on your relationship with Him rather than getting caught up in the propaganda and aggression associated with war.

The Crucifixion of Jesus in Christianity and Islam

This post discusses the view that the New Testament writings attributed to the apostle Paul are a development of the teaching that Jesus brought to the Jewish people, and looks at some of the conflicting Scriptures on the subject of the crucifixion in the Qur’an and the Bible.

Free Theology eBooks

In this post, I present an overview of the three books that I have written that I’m currently offering for free as eBooks. You can view the book covers and click through to handy pages that allows you to view the books directly in your local country’s store for your retailer of choice.

Surrendering to the Will of God

This is a short post in which I recall a conversation I had with a friend of mine on the subject of surrendering to God. I offer a perspective on what surrendering is, and why it’s rather paradoxical because of God’s control of the unfolding of all our actions.

A New Page

You may be interested to take a look at the new Page I have created, on which I share my vision for a multi-faith church of the future. This is a vision that God gave me many years ago (and which I write about in my book God’s Grand Game) and is always on my mind. I spend a lot of time planning and working towards realising this vision — I am hoping to set up a charity when my circumstances allow, though the project remains in its infancy at this stage of my life and I see it as my life’s work rather than something that will be accomplished in a few months or even a few years.

I hope this brief round-up has been helpful. I also hope that, unlike me, you remember to update the publishing settings of your drafts so that your posts don’t languish in the archives of the Reader, rather than appearing at the top of your chosen tags and categories, as they should! Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day

In Times of Conflict, Focus on God

God’s judgement is coming, so do not ask to bring it on sooner.

(Surah 16:1)

People of true faith are set apart by God. We are supposed to act in a way that is different to those who are hungry for worldly riches and power.

Where there is conflict, we look to God, not to financial markets and political narratives. We ignore the propaganda fed out by news outlets and turn to God in repentance and prayer, asking for His mercy on our wretched race. We ask God, as Noah did, to rid the world of evil and allow godliness, love, compassion, honesty, and goodness to be the qualities that prevail in the world.

In just a little while, the wicked will be no more; though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there. But the meek shall inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace.

(Psalm 37: 10-11)

The Bible and the Qur’an are both full of examples that demonstrate the way God’s plans unfold. He lets corruption prosper for a short while, then He brings His judgement, and the evildoers are destroyed. We do not know who the evildoers are, God does. It is not our place to judge others, that is God’s work. We are asked in Scripture to focus on our relationship with God, and to try to live in a way that pleases Him.

According to Scripture, we will all be judged individually for our conduct. So rather than writing polemics about war and politics, we should be focused on trying to have a good moral character in the way Jesus taught — lessons of which we are all acutely aware (most of us have read the parable of the Good Samaritan, for example).

Don’t get bogged down by matters of war. God controls every speck of dust in the universe and you would be wise to place your trust in Him rather than in political alliances and which world leader has the most destructive weapons. Open up the Qur’an or the Bible and let God speak to you. Be focused on the One who decides every matter, small and large.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

(Matthew 5:3-6)

Every world leader is accountable to God. We do not know what they are doing in private, whether they are mindful of God and pray about the decisions they make. We are all individually accountable to God, whether a street sweeper or a political leader.

I am trusting in God to administer justice, as He always does. I have asked Him for protection against the evil He has created, against Satan and his wicked agents. I will be praying for mercy for those God favours, and for all sentient beings.

…be mindful of God, as much as you can; hear and obey and give—it is for your own good. Those who are saved from their own meanness will be the prosperous ones.

(Surah 64:16)

Focus on what good you can do in the world, in your immediate surroundings especially. God takes note of everything you do, and according to the Qur’an, you will be rewarded for your good deeds. Most of all, remember that this life is only fleeting and that the Day of Judgement is approaching, when the secrets of every heart will be revealed, and we will all face the judgement of God and be led into either paradise or hell. Say sorry to God and ask for His mercy; He is the ever-relenting; the most merciful.

Ever closer to people draws their reckoning, while they turn away, heedless.

(Surah 21:1)

Don’t be one of those who gets bogged down in the cares of the world. Focus on your relationship with God. Be good, do good, love your neighbour, pray, and read the Scriptures. Thank God for the abundant blessings He showers upon you every day. If you’re facing conflict, don’t get caught up in the fight. Surrender to God and pray for His mercy.

Free Theology eBooks

Greetings, all! I try to make a small number of my books free periodically. This is to allow readers to have an easy way into my catalogue of writings, and also because my overarching ambition with my books is for people to benefit from the content, rather than for me to make money. In all honesty, it would be a dream come true to be able to support myself financially from book sales, but at the present time this is far from becoming a reality.

In this post, I wanted to introduce the three books that I currently have available for free as eBooks, so that you can decide whether or not you would like to read them. The books I have written about below are all quite different, but I hope they each offer value in their own way.

Firstly, I have just made my book Thanks Be To God: A Selection of Christian Scriptures for Spiritual Seekers available for free. The book is intended to serve as an introduction to Christianity for those who do not have the time or inclination to read the whole Bible right now. The book contains selected passages of Scripture, each one with a brief commentary I have written to offer context and insight. The book is written from the perspective of a Christian, and aims to convey Christianity in a positive light.

The next book I would like to mention is Discovering the Qur’an. I have discussed this book frequently on Perfect Chaos in recent weeks, so I won’t offer an extensive introduction here. It’s basically an introduction to the Qur’an, and contains a discussion of interfaith matters between Christianity and Islam that I feel are important. This book has been downloaded over 1000 times and is one of my most popular books.

The final book I would like to mention, which has been free for some time, is my chief philosophical work God’s Grand Game: Divine Sovereignty and the Cosmic Playground. I highly recommend reading the Amazon description for this book, which contains lots of useful information about its contents. You can just search ‘God’s Grand Game’ in the Amazon search bar if you would find that easier. The book is quite controversial, but it’s the book I’m most proud of, because I believe it contains convincing arguments for the existence of God and God’s sovereign control over all events. The book has been purchased over 500 times and downloaded over 1500 times.

The three books discussed and pictured above can be downloaded from all popular eBook retailers, including Amazon, Apple Books, Rakuten Kobo, Barnes and Noble, Google Play, and others. Simply click on a cover image above to visit a retailer choice page. These choice pages are great because they automatically redirect you to the book’s product page in your country’s store. They are not affiliate links.

I do hope my books are of interest to some of you. Paperback versions of all of my books are also available if you prefer physical to eBooks, though the paperback editions are not free. There are also hardcover versions available of all my longer books, exclusively through Amazon. I do have many other books available (although not for free) and you can explore these on the Books page.

Surrendering to the Will of God

I remember having an interesting conversation about philosophy with a close friend many years ago. We were talking about suffering and had slightly different perspectives on the issue of surrendering.

When my friend was telling me about his spiritual path, he said that he has gotten to the point — after facing many trials — where he just surrenders. I could relate to this in one respect, in that I often feel like just giving up when I’m going through some of my hardest times.

By saying ‘surrendering’ we were simply referring to the act of ceasing to struggle and just accepting one’s circumstances without any mental resistance.

Where my friend and I disagreed (just a little), is that I believe we ultimately have no choice in the matter of whether we surrender or not, because I believe God is in control of everything that happens, including any potential surrendering we might do. Perhaps my friend would agree with this these days, I’m not sure. He has generally been more interested in Eastern philosophy than the Abrahamic religions, and often in Eastern philosophy the concept of God is as a higher state of consciousness (an ‘it’), rather than the personal God (a ‘thou’) who we relate to in Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

I think my personal inclination in the hardest of times is to speak to God through prayer, perhaps along with surrendering, whereas I don’t know whether my friend would bring prayer into his difficult situations, as to the best of my knowledge he doesn’t have a personal relationship with God.

The point that I’m trying to make is simply this: When things are really tough for you, and there is no clear way forward, surrendering (letting go / giving up) can bring great comfort. But you will only wish to surrender by the will of God, because we are merely as puppets in God’s hands: God is the sovereign controller of all things.

The Crucifixion of Jesus in Christianity and Islam

I have encountered the view that Pauline Christianity (that is, the theology drawn from the writings that are attributed to the apostle Paul in the New Testament) are a distortion of the true message that Jesus came with. It has been argued by some that all of the prophets sent by God taught a similar message — there is only one God, we must be morally good and charitable people, and there will be a resurrection of the dead and a judgement day at a time in the future known only to God. In this view, Jesus was a prophet sent to the Jewish people by God to help them to return to the law of Moses, and bring certain clarifications and improvements to the law. He was a prophet and not God, and never claimed to be God. This is the view of most Muslims.

Trying to understand whether the Christian Scriptures accurately reflect what Jesus said and did is nigh on impossible. There are so many diverse views in relation to the dating of the New Testament Scriptures and which books should be included in the canon, and therefore whether the words attributed to Jesus in our modern-day Bibles can be considered reliable.

Muslims believe that the Qur’an is a revelation that was sent by God to the prophet Muhammad over a period of around 23 years, in the early seventh century CE. It was given as light and guidance, to clarify matters of faith and religion for all people. It is understood by Muslims to be a very clear, lucid, and perfect revelation, which contains no falsehood. The Qur’an testifies that one of the reasons why it was sent down was to clear up the confusion among Christians and Jews on matters of faith, which are demonstrated in part by the huge number of factions and theological disputes that exist among Christians today, and that have existed throughout Christian history.

Today, I would like to write briefly about the subject of the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus, as it relates to Christianity and Islam. The crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus are of central importance to very many Christians, who are shocked to read in the Qur’an that these events never happened. Let us look at a few relevant Scriptures from the New Testament and the Qur’an, and then I will offer a few closing remarks.

In 1 Corinthians, we have words attributed to Paul saying the following:

When I came to you, brothers and sisters, I did not come proclaiming the mystery of God to you in lofty words or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and him crucified.

1 Corinthians 2:1-2 (NRSV)

For the message about the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

1 Corinthians 1:18 (NRSV)

These scriptures exemplify the centrality of the crucifixion event in Pauline theology.

Also in 1 Corinthians, we read the following:

Now if Christ is proclaimed as raised from the dead, how can some of you say there is no resurrection of the dead? If there is no resurrection of the dead, then Christ has not been raised; and if Christ has not been raised, then our proclamation has been in vain and your faith has been in vain.

1 Corinthians 15: 12-14 (NRSV)

The teachings of Paul develop a theology around the idea that Christ was crucified, and of course the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) all attest to the crucifixion of Jesus. I understand that there are also other historical sources, including early Christian philosophers and theologians (Justin Martyr and Irenaeus, for example) who attest that the crucifixion really happened.

With so much historical ‘evidence’ (in inverted commas because I believe all so-called evidence for anything is usually open to question), how could it be that the crucifixion of Jesus Christ never happened?

Here’s what we read in the Qur’an:

…and because they disbelieved and uttered a terrible slander against Mary, and said, ‘We have killed the Messiah, Jesus, son on Mary, the Messenger of God.’ (They did not kill him, nor did they crucify him, though it was made to appear like that to them; those that disagreed about him are full of doubt, with no knowledge to follow, only supposition: they certainly did not kill him— God raised him up to Himself. God is almighty and wise…

(Surah 4: 156-158)

According to the Qur’an, the resurrection of the dead will happen, so this agrees with Christian theology. The difference is that in Islam, Christ has not been raised from the dead, which, if true, means the Pauline “proclamation has been in vain” and many Christians’ “faith has been in vain”, at least, in certain respects.

But how could it be that Christians have not believed the truth for two thousand years? Isn’t this rather far-fetched? Well, it all depends on whether the Qur’an really is a perfect revelation which falsehood cannot touch from any angle, which is the claim made within its pages. The Qur’an repeatedly emphasises that God is in control of everything that happens, and that He does whatever He will, so causing people to believe certain things for two thousand years, even if they are incorrect, is no difficult matter for God. After all, wouldn’t most Christians argue that billions of Muslims have believed things that are wrong for many centuries?

The wisest course of action in relation to these matters, in my view, is to pray to God for truth and direction, and read both the Bible and the Qur’an with a prayerful and open mind. Then discern what resonates with you as truth, and whichever path you follow, this will be God’s will for your life.

In any event, this whole issue highlights the fact that the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ is a central and pivotal matter for interfaith dialogue between Christians and Muslims — perhaps even the single most important matter, from a certain perspective.

I have closed comments on this post because I expect it will provoke strong reactions, and I don’t currently have the mental energy to engage and respond. My book ‘Discovering the Qur’an’ is currently available for free, if you would like to read about my views concerning the Qur’an. For an introduction to the Christian Scriptures, I have a short book available titled ‘Thanks Be To God’, which I am in the process of making free as well. For further information on all my books, visit the Books page. If you hit the ‘Like’ button it will be an encouragement to me and help my writing to reach a wider audience. Thank you for reading.

If You’re Struggling, Find Encouragement in the Psalms

Fret not yourself because of evildoers; be not envious of wrongdoers! For they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb. Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!

Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land. In just a little while, the wicked will be no more; though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there. But the meek shall inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace.

Above is an extract from the opening of Psalm 37. Did you know that the Psalms are written about in the Qur’an, and are described as Scripture in the Qur’an? I don’t think a lot of Christians are aware of this. I find the Psalms to be ceaselessly encouraging, and stabilising, during times of distress.

Friends, there’s so much I want to tell you. I had a wonderful day yesterday. I went to the library to do some study for my work-in-progress book ‘Divine Justice’, and explored an incredibly interesting and important series of Scriptures from the Bible and Qur’an on the subject of the resurrection of the dead. It’s such an important subject and because of that I will reserve my reflections for a future, dedicated post.

While I was walking in one of the London parks yesterday, I was approached by a video maker. He was speaking to people and filming their responses for his YouTube channel (and TikTok). We ended up having a long chat and he filmed me answering some questions about my life, my beliefs, and my current circumstances. He very kindly offered to help me. Also, another Muslim friend very graciously helped me out yesterday, and I wish God’s blessings upon him for his kindness.

I am feeling rather grounded and at peace right now (largely as a result of reading Psalm 37!). I am grateful to those who have been reading my recent posts, and of course am immensely grateful to everyone who has been praying for me. May God bless you for your concern for my wellbeing and safety.

When the gentleman who filmed me posts his video, I intend to share it here. I have been praying about it, because it is so difficult to accurately relay my life circumstances in just a few minutes of footage. I would hate for the video to fail to convey my circumstances correctly, and I worry a little that I may not have expressed myself perfectly, or have been clear enough. But what’s done is done, and whatever happens in existence is God’s will, so I must trust in that, while praying that I can express myself better in the future. On the whole, I think it went well.

Today, the sun is shining in London and there is clear blue sky — always a great joy. I am thankful to God for the good mood I find myself in, despite the challenges of life in London!

Peace be with you all.

Just a reminder that my books ‘Discovering the Qur’an‘ and ‘God’s Grand Game‘ are currently available for free as eBooks. To find out more, visit the Books page.

Just Be Kind

Woe is me! Just kidding, but I feel like my blog posts are a bit like that at the moment. I hope you don’t mind that I’m sharing some personal reflections rather than much philosophy and theology at this time.

I went to the hospital today for a routine medical appointment related to my mental health condition. Wow. Things in London have deteriorated to the point of hopelessness. The only consultant I am allowed to see is anti-religious (not a great help when my whole life centres upon religion), the person who is supposed to be responsible for my ‘care’ didn’t contact me for eight weeks despite me leaving four messages for him to get in touch. When I told him today some of my very serious complaints about the mental health team, he laughed (this guy is the assistant manager!). I have also had no contact from the housing association about my accommodation problems. Maybe ‘woe is me’ is actually appropriate!

Tonight is the last night I can afford to stay in the budget hotel, from tomorrow I’ll be sleeping on the streets. As I explained in yesterday’s post, returning to the flat is not a safe option. In all seriousness, if anyone reading this has any experience of homelessness and has any helpful advice to offer, please send me an email.

I was outside the hotel yesterday and a bunch of school kids were attacking someone. It makes me sick. Fortunately, a police car drove past at the right moment and made some noise, and they ran off.

Yesterday (also outside the hotel) I spoke with a man who was selling items out of a box. The items he was selling were junk, but I bought a couple of things, some gel pens and tissues (neither of which I need) to support him. I wish in retrospect I’d just given him the cash, because now I have six pens and five packs of tissues that I don’t need. Maybe God will use them somehow. Anyway, this man said he HAS to steal to make money. No he doesn’t, and I told him he doesn’t. Being evil is a choice, and you never have to take it. It’s better to die in poverty than choose to do evil and use the excuse that you ‘have to’.

Earlier today, I saw two pigeons fighting, literally biting each other’s heads and necks over a scrap of food. It was a small round cheese biscuit. I just broke it in half and gave half to each pigeon. It’s really not ever necessary to fight, and I’m dismayed that animals are seemingly just as evil as humans (possibly much worse).

Every day you can choose to be kind and do good or you can choose to be unkind and do evil. From a human perspective, there is no compulsion either way, but you will only choose to do good if God, who is the controller of all people, wills you to do so. So pray to Him, and ask Him to develop your character so that your actions are closer to what is right.

I prayed for sunshine earlier because it has been cloudy here for days. The sun came out for a while earlier and as I type, it has just come out again, thanks be to God. I’m hoping for good weather if I’m sleeping rough, of course, and would appreciate prayers for my safety. Also, if you are in a financially fortunate position, please consider helping me out with a donation.

I’m going to try using a photo taken with my smartphone to accompany my upcoming posts as I will probably be blogging from my phone in the coming days. I have to be careful, though, as I want to keep my location private for safety reasons.

I remain optimistic, largely because I have a copy of the Qur’an with me, which I read every day. Remember that two of the books I have written are currently available for free, ‘Discovering the Qur’an’ and ‘God’s Grand Game’. You can find out more on the books page. Thank you for reading!

Would You Walk Out in Front of a Bus?

Dealing with antisocial behaviour in housing is an incredibly difficult matter. As I have written about previously, I have been living with someone who exhibits dangerous behaviour and shows no regard for the law or for other people. I have been trying to get help within the housing system to find alternative accommodation, but the response I often get is that people aren’t willing to accept my understanding of the situation, which is that my neighbour poses a threat to my physical and mental health.

I have felt at danger of being assaulted, for reasons related to my neighbour’s past and recent behaviour, but I won’t go into details here. A support worker responded to my concerns by questioning my understanding that I’m in danger. I explained some of the things my neighbour has done that demonstrate his recent dangerous behaviour, and his history of dangerous behaviour while I’ve been living in the property, but I was asked, “has he actually threatened or assaulted you?” While I understand the reason behind this question on one level — I suppose the authorities can’t arrest or evict someone for an act or crime they haven’t committed — on the other hand, what it seems to suggest is that they are waiting for something serious to happen (like an assault) before they can take action.

The analogy that I thought of today is that it’s a bit like making the argument that someone should walk out in front of a bus. This feels akin to what the housing services are telling me to do when they suggest I should return to my accommodation because there has not been a serious incident. Walking in front of a bus seems dangerous. It might not be dangerous — the bus driver might swerve out of the way, a gust of wind might blow the person to safety, or a tree might fall in front of the bus and halt it just as the person approaches. So it could be argued that you can’t say for certain that walking out in front of a bus is dangerous. You could say the bus hasn’t hurt anyone, or threatened anyone, so it can’t be demonstrated to be a dangerous bus.

But you still wouldn’t walk out in front of a bus, right? You feel a very real threat to your safety, so your instinct is to not put yourself into that dangerous situation, if at all possible. It’s not something you want to test out by trial and error, because you are convinced that the bus is a potentially dangerous vehicle, and that stepping out in front of it would likely cause you serious harm.

I feel that the neighbour that I live with is the equivalent of a potentially dangerous vehicle. But while it’s difficult to prove a bus is dangerous, it’s also difficult to prove a human being is dangerous. So what do you do? Well, you trust your sense of what is safe and what is not. You don’t walk in front of a bus if it’s racing towards you quickly, and you don’t live in a home with someone who has been exhibiting dangerous behaviour.

The housing association has a complaints procedure. They have tried to encourage me to pursue an antisocial behaviour complaint against my neighbour. But to continue with my bus analogy, this is a bit like telling the person to walk in front of the bus and ask the driver to put on the brakes. Not only will the driver not be able to hear (similarly, my neighbour doesn’t listen to requests to change his behaviour), it actually creates more danger of harm — my neighbour would likely be even more unkind to me if he found out I had pursued an antisocial behaviour complaint, as he is intent on doing things that cause me mental, and potentially physical distress. If I were to pursue a complaint against him, and the housing association spoke with him, it would obviously make my living in the property more unsafe rather than safer.

What I explained to someone yesterday was that when people feel they are above the law, and are willing to lie to everyone in order to protect themselves (as my neighbour does), there’s very little that can be done to take action against them. As I’ve heard my neighbour lying repeatedly both to me and others, I’m convinced that he would lie at an antisocial behaviour meeting, or even in a court room. So what do you do when someone is aggressively dangerous, and feels they are above the law, and are determined to hide the truth?

Well, that’s why the existence of God, and God’s plan for justice, are so important. I can have peace of mind in relation to the fact that while it’s highly possible my neighbour will escape justice during this life, he will certainly not escape the justice of God, which I wholeheartedly believe is coming in the form of a Day of Judgement following the resurrection of the dead at a time known only to God, as testified to in both the Bible and the Qur’an.

There is much more that I could say about this situation, and perhaps the bus analogy isn’t perfect in every respect. Part of me wants to go into more depth to explain to you exactly what my neighbour has been doing in all its grizzly detail. But God knows absolutely everything everyone does, and keeps a record of it, and that’s the main thing.

I’m hoping to find alternative accommodation somewhere that feels much safer, but I’m waiting for people to get back to me and it’s taking some time. In the meantime, I’m staying in the cheapest hotels I can find, but I’m deep into my overdraft and will only be able to stay in hotels for two more nights before I will be forced into the decision of either sleeping on the street or returning to the danger of the flat.

I hate to ask for help, but I will quietly mention my donations page, should anyone reading this find themselves in a financially fortunate position and be willing to help me out. Sorry for the unusually long article and thank you for reading. God is absolutely awesome and my faith in Him has never been stronger.