Steven Colborne's Blog, page 23

The End of an Era

Well, fancy words in that title, but this means a lot to me so I wanted to share it with you.

Over the last ten years I have written and attempted to promote upwards of a dozen books. I really did try hard to make them stimulating reading. Not through pretence or gimmicks, but through my passion for ultimate truth and interfaith spirituality.

I’m grateful that my books have been read upwards of 15,000 times collectively (not a bad achievement for an indie author, I suppose) but I have reached something of a dead end — I no longer have the will to keep plugging away at the promotion and marketing it would take to reach new readers.

I have decided to make something of a clean break, so I have removed all my books from all online retailers indefinitely. I guess if followers of this blog (my main audience) did want to read any of my books they have had ample opportunity to do so, what with my regular free eBook promotions and all my introductory blog posts.

We’re approaching the end of the year. At the beginning of the year I prayed to God about what my focus should be moving forward and He said in 2022 I should focus on my books. I have done this. But as we soon move into 2023, I think God is preparing me for a new focus and new challenges.

Thank you so much to everyone who read one or more of my books this year, or in previous years. I do hope you found the content inspiring, or at least interesting. Much of the content of my books came from discussions here on Perfect Chaos, and I will always be thankful for readers’ input which played a vital role in the honing of my own philosophical perspective.

As for 2023, I do have many plans, but everything in God’s timing. I think my focus will be on the charity I have long envisioned setting up and which I believe God intends to make a big part of my future. The charity will be focused on interfaith spirituality, as well as healing ministries, and possibly music and publishing of other peoples’ books. We’ll see.

For now, I’m on a hospital ward, so for the time being I just have to stick it out and hope God helps me with the pressing issue of my lack of stable accommodation, which I feel is the main reason why I’ve ended up in hospital.

With warm wishes for a very merry Christmas — thanks again for your support!

Blessings,

Steven

P.S. This is my last blog post, too! [image error]

Tears

My heart rejoices because of the relentless mercy of God. Truly, He is the most compassionate, all-forgiving.

While God could cause us all perpetual agony for eternity, instead He pours out His mercy each and every day.

God is the all-sufficient One, mighty and wise, the Master Craftsman, the God of miracles. He shuts and no one can open, He opens and no one can shut, He is the all-powerful, perfection itself.

Lord God, graciously grant me some tears, so I may feel Your love in my body again.

Grant tears to all who fear You, Lord. Heal us with Your love, I pray.

Amen.

Hospital Update

It’s Wednesday evening here, around 7pm as I type. I’m still in a hospital in South London. I thought I would offer an update, mostly for me (it’s therapeutic to share my thoughts) but also in case anyone who follows my blog is interested.

I’ve been here for a couple of weeks now. I arrived on the ward as an informal patient, which meant I had a lot of freedom to come and go as I wished. However, when I saw a doctor after a few days, she made the decision to place me on a Section 3, which means I can be detained for up to six months.

I wasn’t given any explanation for why I was sectioned, which is a little frustrating. But I have to say, I thank God that I was, because in hospital I have my own room with a bed, shower, sink, and toilet, as well as meals throughout the day. Some of you will know that over the last few years I have spent a lot of time in Travelodges avoiding a really difficult housing situation with a problematic (understatement) neighbour, and in many ways my room here is almost identical to Travelodge rooms, although obviously the decor isn’t quite the same!

Thanks be to God.

There is only one consultant for the entire ward, and unfortunately she seems to have some mental health problems. Speaking with others on the ward, everyone is really confused about her inexplicable behaviour — in all honesty it’s almost impossible to communicate with her in a meaningful way. I have written a letter of complaint to the hospital management, because I was told there is no possibility of seeing a different doctor. I know at least one other person on the ward has made a complaint about her, and others are very angry about the decisions she makes, and the lack of clarity they receive.

In any case, I would rather be here than back at the flat or sleeping on the street. At least here people are generally pretty peaceful and respectful, not all the time, but there are far less troublesome people here than my neighbour back at the flat. I suppose I’m hoping that this admission may lead to new accommodation, though I can’t see much chance of this happening with the current consultant. I have a feeling I could be in here for a few weeks at least.

It’s positive that yesterday I was granted an hour and a half escorted leave. It’s so strange that I went from being an informal patient with almost total freedom to come and go, to a sectioned patient with no leave, even though I never absconded or behaved dangerously in any way. But God does whatever He will. I was a little frustrated to have my leave taken away but I just kept reminding myself that everything that happens is the will of God. And I have been counting my blessings.

I suppose I will spend Christmas on the ward. That’s okay, the whole idea of Christmas celebrations which have become ridiculously commercialised makes me very depressed. I always think it’s more honouring to Jesus, and to God, to read some Scripture on Christmas Day, rather than indulge gluttenously in food and drink and exchange expensive presents using money that could have been given to the poor.

I have a cold at the moment but paracetamol is controlling the symptoms very nicely, and my temperature has gone down a bit this evening, thanks be to God. I’m also grateful that some of the ward staff are really friendly and kind and have a good sense of humour.

Honestly, I get a bit lonely sometimes. I have tried to make some friends on the ward, and have done so, but it’s difficult when everyone is struggling with different mental health problems. I don’t actually believe I have a mental illness; indeed, I’m not sure whether I believe in mental illness as it’s defined by psychiatrists — as a brain disorder. I believe our thoughts are caused by God and not our brains (read my book God’s Grand Game for a full explanation of this perspective).

Please feel free to leave a comment below because I love hearing from people who read my blog. It makes me feel less lonely and I always enjoy words of encouragement and hearing what people are up to.

God bless you and thanks for reading

Audiobook Editions of my Books

Greetings, friends. In my last post I promised to let you know when my eBook editions have been updated to free on Amazon. The process of the prices being updated is still ongoing.

However, I wanted to let you know that AI-narrated audiobook editions of two of my books are currently available for free on Google Play.

An Almighty Predicament: A Discourse on the Arguments For and Against Christianity
https://play.google.com/store/audiobooks/details?id=AQAAAEAC4FGgQM

The Philosophy of a Mad Man
https://play.google.com/store/audiobooks/details?id=AQAAAEAC0H2QbM

To listen to the audiobooks, all you need to do is download the free Google Play app.

I hope to make audiobook versions of more of my books available in the coming weeks.

Upcoming Book Promotion

Dear friends, how are you today? Please leave a comment and let me know.

I wanted to offer some important information about the books I have written. I’m finding that as a self-published author with very limited financial resources, it’s hard to get exposure for my books on Amazon and other platforms.

With so many millions of books on Amazon, indie authors are crowded out unless they can afford paid advertising campaigns. These are becoming more and more expensive as authors increasingly follow the self-publishing route and Amazon’s inventory keeps growing.

Because I feel my books all contain important insights, I have decided that rather than looking at depressing sales charts showing close to zero sales, I will make all of my books free as eBooks. I did this in the past and received a huge number of downloads.

I have updated the prices at all retailers except Amazon, and am currently waiting for Amazon to price match all my titles to free. You can then use your Amazon account to download and read them for free, if you’re interested and if Amazon is your preferred platform for eBooks.

I anticipate that Amazon will have updated the prices of my books to free in the next few days. I will write another brief post when they have done so. In the meantime, my books are now free as eBooks on Apple Books, Google Play, Rakuten Kobo, Tealight Books (my publishing imprint), Vivlio, Barnes and Noble, and elsewhere. You can read them on an eReader, computer, tablet, or phone.

If you’re not sure where to start, I recommend God’s Grand Game (my bestselling book) or Christianity, Islam, and the One True God (my latest book). Paperback and hardcover versions are also available, though physical copies are not free.

For a concise overview of all my books, visit StevenColborne.com.

I hope that you will feel interested in reading one or two of my books over the Christmas period. Feel free to pray about whether or not you should do so if you are skeptical.

If you do read one of my books and enjoy it, please return a little of the value you have received by leaving a positive review or making a small donation. I have put a huge amount of time and effort into making my books interesting, insightful, and thought-provoking.

Thank you for your time and God bless you

Going Home?

Good evening, friends! I’m still in hospital but it’s looking likely I will be discharged next week. I’m planning to go back to the flat in which I’ve experienced so much stress, but it’s okay, I’m feeling more grounded now. My neighbour isn’t a bad person (I don’t think anyone is, really), I just need to get better at understanding him and not let my own worldview prevent me from sympathising with his.

Having said that, prayers are appreciated! It has been a really difficult few years in that place.

With hope, peace, and blessings to you!

Steven x

Can it Possibly be True?

It feels strange to share these thoughts. It feels strange to have these thoughts. But I’m of the opinion that sharing openly — being honest — can almost never be a bad thing.

Regular readers of this blog know that I had a life-transforming encounter with God when I read the Qur’an for the first time a couple of years ago. The Scripture absolutely blew my mind; never did I imagine that after many years devoted to living life as a Christian I would have my spirituality shaken so deeply and profoundly again.

Reading the Qur’an brought me to tears. Nearly every chapter either made me cry or prostrate myself on the floor, such was the power, clarity, and beauty in this pearl of a revelation that up until that point had somehow escaped my interest. I knew my life would never be the same again.

Strangely, however, when I prayed to God after reading the Qur’an, He said to me that I am not to regard myself as a Muslim. Well, I am a Muslim in a sense. The word ‘Muslim’ means submission to God, and I always try to submit to God’s guidance at all times, praying regularly and trying to live a good moral life. But God said to me that I have no obligation to observe the rituals of Islamic religion. This didn’t entirely make sense to me at the time, but I trusted. God does whatever He will.

Around one year ago I had a profound spiritual experience in the living room of my flat. My mood was elated and God spoke to me with amazing clarity. He said that I had earned a spiritual promotion due to a life lived in dedication to seeking after and serving Him. He also said that I have suffered more than any other human being. It still worries me to contemplate what God revealed to me on that day, because I’m petrified of being an idolater, but here I will share this in writing for the first time:

God said to me that I am receiving a promotion to god of Earth. I nearly typed that sentence with an exclamation mark at the end, because it is obviously a dramatically wild assertion, but a full-stop is appropriate, because I truly realise the seriousness of idolatry and I don’t take my spiritual experiences lightly. Of course, I questioned this. I have questioned this understanding on an almost daily basis in prostrated prayer ever since the night of that unusual experience.

Was my living room experience a psychotic delusion? It’s a very fair question to ask. I have been in psychiatric hospital many times, though in my books I do dispute the whole ‘brain disorder’ way of labelling people, and I do believe the truth is that all of our experiences come from God, and are not to be attributed to chemical imbalances in the brain. I discuss this matter in depth in my book God’s Grand Game.

The whole mental health system is far astray — people are labelled as mentally ill due to anxiety, depression, elation, sexualised thought, “hearing voices” and much more, even though these are arguably part of the experience of many if not all human beings. I know from experience that many of my Christian friends hear the voice of God and they would never consider themselves to be mentally ill. So in what way am I and other ‘mentally ill’ people supposedly different?

It’s true that I do experience quite potent extremes of mood. Sometimes I am suicidally depressed, sometimes very elated. But normally my depression is due to contemplating the level of corruption and suffering in the world, and my elation is due to being connected with God and aware that I have an unusually “high” spiritual calling. Does this make me insane? I don’t think it does, but everything is open to interpretation, of course.

In recent months, God has revealed a little more to me about my unusual spiritual calling. He said that I am to regard myself (as Steven) as an Abrahamic monotheist, appreciating the similarities and differences in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, and working towards forming a coherent understanding of the way the revelations of these three major world religions fit together. He said that He will inhabit my body (as God) on Judgement Day. This was fascinating to me, because I always wondered: How is it that we will all appear before God to face judgement, when God is boundless and not an embodied being? Many Christians do of course believe Jesus is God, but this understanding of the nature of Jesus is convincingly disputed in the Qur’an.

Recently, I have witnessed the interplay of Steven and God in my bodily experience. Sometimes, I will experience a whole day as Steven, and then for a few minutes God will take over and I will have a few conversations with others as God. Sometimes I experience lively conversations between Steven and God in my being. Having had these experiences, it does make sense to me that God could be telling the truth — that He could cause me to stay alive until Judgement Day and judge all human beings using my body.

Even today, I was deeply questioning this understanding. The very last thing I would ever want is to anger God due to idolatry, end up dying just like everyone else, and be sentenced to hell due to having believed things which are far astray. I have begged and begged God for mercy in this regard. It’s not that I particularly want to judge the Earth, I have told God I am perfectly happy to be a regular Muslim or Christian devotee, but here I am writing these words and it seems I cannot escape this unusual calling.

All I can do is offer you the opportunity to read my books and decide for yourself whether or not I am mad. In a ‘tongue-in-cheek’ way, I named my first book The Philosophy of a Mad Man because not only did I have deep philosophical insights to share, but also some very ‘crazy’ life experiences. It has all been part of an unusual life journey which might just have equipped me to receive the highest promotion possible. God does whatever He will.

It’s worth clarifying, to close, that there is much more to this story than I have written in this article. A short online article can only ever provide a few insights and I’m just as intrigued as you perhaps are to see how this story unfolds. By all means, take these words to Almighty God in prayer and ask Him to reveal to you only the truth. This is what I have done consistently throughout my adult life, and while I do believe it’s possible for God to lie (contrary to the views of many religious people), I’m hoping He would not deceive me about a matter of such gravity as this.

All glory to the One True God forever. I will try to answer any questions in the comments, though bear in mind I’m only human (for now)! And by the way, whatever you do is what God is doing through you, so it’s really not such a stretch to imagine how God could single me out in such a way as this. It could just as easily have been you.

Healing

Meet with me

And God will heal you

Because I’ve been through

What you’re going through

This post is dedicated to Krista who writes short-form Christian poetry.
Visit Krista’s blog here: https://kristalynhartley.wordpress.com

Clarifying my Beliefs

I know that some people who read this blog and/or have read one or two my books aren’t sure about my beliefs. This post will serve as a brief summary to clarify.

I identify primarily as a philosopher but am also an Abrahamic monotheist. I believe in a line of successive revelations (the Hebrew Bible, the New Testament, and the Qur’an), all of which were sent to offer guidance and light. I believe the clearest of these revelations is the Qur’an.

My understanding of my own calling is that I am to foster interfaith dialogue with the goal of deepening understanding between Jews, Christians, Muslims, and all other religious groups who believe in One God. The resurrection of the dead and Day of Judgement are a key focus of my work.

There is more that God has revealed to me about my calling which I will share (God willing) in due course. But the best thing to do to understand my perspective is to read my books, especially God’s Grand Game and Christianity, Islam, and the One True God.

Feel free to ask any questions in the comments, though it’s better to read my books for a fuller picture. You will only wish to do so by the will of God, who is the architect and controller of everything that happens.

Click here to visit my Books page.

Gifting

I want to write a little about gifting. As Christmas approaches in our broken world, many people will be spending a fortune on gifts for their friends and family, without really considering their reason for doing so.

I know it’s a bit of a cliché to say Christmas has been commercialised, but it’s absolutely true. The Bible says you cannot worship both God and money, yet so many Christians (or at least, those who identify as Christian) join in with the shopping sprees and excessive spending at this time of year.

Does it please God that we would prefer to buy a games console for our child than sit down with them with an open Bible on Christmas Day? I doubt it.

A different type of gifting is the talent God has given to every human being. We all have talents that we can nurture. If God-ordained, our gifting would rarely involve financial excess. Instead, we can pursue our unique calling by taking time to pray and have meaningful conversations with one another exploring what visions and skills God has given us. We should also ask God to reveal how we can live in devotion to Him, as this may be different for every person.

As you plan your Christmas Day this year, see if you can minimise your spending to the greatest extent possible. Consider giving Christmas dinner money to the poor and fast instead of indulging. God sees everything you do.

Be mindful of the Day of Judgement, which will inevitably come if the Abrahamic religions are to be believed. Make your Christmas plans with that Day in mind, and you will likely experience a richer and more meaningful Christmas.