Steven Colborne's Blog, page 19

Enough!

For around 15 years I have struggled, trying to do the right thing according to the Bible and the Qur’an. While these revelations are truly interesting, they have caused me a huge amount of stress as I have agonised over not wanting to make mistakes that might lead to hell.

I’ve had enough! God is not a monster! I’m just going to be myself and trust that God is as kind, or kinder, than I am. I don’t want anyone to suffer terribly so why would God?

I’m going to focus on the dreams God has given me, The Universal Church of Almighty God and The Almighty Interplanetary Consciousness Explosion. And, of course, philosophy and interfaith dialogue. Whatever happens will be the will of God.

I think my books are awesome if you like philosophy and religion but I’ve been striving too hard for too long. I’m going to let go and be myself and trust that God is truly loving. May God help me to be happy and achieve my dreams.

I Now Must Suffer

Readers of this blog will have seen my posts about having the highly questionable (and questioned) understanding that I was god of Earth. It felt very unlikely, though also exciting and philosophically possible.

It was highly questionable not only because the chances are slim, but also because I’m in psychiatric hospital and have a mental health condition. Nevertheless, at times it made perfect sense to me, even though I was always very afraid of being an idolator.

Events over the last couple of days have made me quite sure that the belief was a delusion. So I must wholeheartedly apologise to everyone reading this for the posts in which I shared that delusion.

I have repented. I will continue to repent. But God will surely now punish me for my false beliefs. I only hope the suffering isn’t too terrible. God is most forgiving and most merciful.

Some readers questioned why I don’t simply believe the Christian gospel and leave it at that? It’s hard, because when I read the Qur’an it spoke to me very powerfully. I became convinced that the Qur’an is truly of divine origin.

The key issue for me is whether or not Jesus Christ was actually crucified. Millions of Christians wholeheartedly believe He was, and millions of Muslims wholeheartedly believe he wasn’t. There must be an objective reality, but how can we find out?

I have accepted that I must suffer and die for the sin of believing I was god of Earth, but of course I am hoping God will be merciful to me. Most importantly, I hope to avoid hell.

Apologies once again, and please do say a prayer that God will forgive this shameful sin. I maintain the hope that with God, all things are possible.

Love from Steven x

New Beginnings

Dearest readers, a huge thank you for following. This blog has been a huge part of my life and calling. It has been an invaluable canvas for shaping my thought in matters of philosophy and theology. Your comments and likes have helped me enormously.

I have experienced a kind of shift in my life and I feel I no longer need to do further writing, or to continue to promote my writing. For everything there is a season.

I plan to keep reading the blogs I follow and to engage with many of you that way. You are wonderful people and your interest in my work has meant the world to me.

Everything I have done on this blog has been with the intention of inspiring people to have a deeper relationship with God. I hope my writing has helped some of you.

Sorry for any hard feelings related to comment moderation. I have always tried to protect the blog and to make it a valuable resource for anyone who finds it. My actions have not been perfect, but I have done my best.

The blog will remain online and ad-free until 2025, so if you’re new here, or if you want to revisit older articles, you can do so. And I cannot guarantee I won’t be posting again – life is unpredictable.

A final mention for my books: the three I feel are most insightful are God’s Grand Game, Christianity, Islam, and the One True God, and my four-book compilation Puppets. All of my books are hopefully helpful, but those three are my suggestions should you not want to read my entire output.

Wishing you grace, peace, and mercy from the One True God. Amen.

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST

Friends, so sorry to lean on you again. I have been in hospital for months and we normally only get to see the consultant once a week. I really want to be discharged. I feel stuck. Please will you say a prayer for me?

Take Heart

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’

Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.

A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you say, ‘The Lord is my refuge,’ and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

‘Because he loves me,’ says the Lord, ‘I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honour him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.’

Above is Psalm 91, a wonderful psalm that provides comfort when we face threats from others. The Psalms are considered to be sacred Scripture in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. Thanks be to God for this timeless piece of writing.

A Multi-Faith Church

Is anyone ever truly humble? Even when we try to serve God, we rarely do so out of fear (as we should) but because we want greater peace of mind. Everyone wants to be happy, whether we are focused on temporal rewards or eternal ones. This is part of the human condition.

How does God feel about our wretched race? Why are we so utterly corrupt? Well, He makes known His dissatisfaction by sending judgement periodically, if the Abrahamic Scriptures are to be believed.

I do wonder about divine judgement. Rather than being about reward and punishment (we do not have free will), I think judgement must be more about fairness. Those who lived easy lives on Earth may be punished and those who struggled may be rewarded. This is the only way I can make sense of divine justice in a world where God is in sovereign control over the unfolding of all events.

It’s possible that there won’t be a judgement. God does whatever He will. But would He have sent the Bible and the Qur’an, and made billions of people believe in them, if one of their central principles is untrue?

It’s possible. We could look to Hinduism and Buddhism for alternative understandings of reality. After all, the Abrahamic religions are relatively young in comparison.

What we need is a new church for humanity. This church will be a place where adherents to any religion can meet to worship God and debate philosophy and theology. The church will be both backward and forward looking, and will have a Universal perspective.

The Qur’an states that God created humankind only to worship Him, and so worshiping God (in new and exciting ways) will be a central focus of the church, as well as counselling, publishing, music, and other ministries.

If anything mentioned in this article rouses your interest, I warmly invite you to read my bestselling book God’s Grand Game in which you will find the key issues explored and the vision laid out.

Things have got to get better. God is not a monster and I believe the spiritual darkness we’ve all been going through has not been in vain. God is mighty and wise; the all-forgiving, the ever-relenting.

Whatever your current beliefs, you should acknowledge that wisdom comes from God, and so does confusion. Pray about everything and ask God to be merciful to you and give you clarity. If you ask, you will surely receive. God is good, all the time.

Thank you for reading! Would you support my vision of a multi-faith church of the future? Feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts.

Request for Donations

Help! I’m stuck on this ward without leave or money and I’m needing to be released from here.

The Beatitudes

My spiritual life is less straightforward than is the case with some people – while I identify strongly with the teachings of Jesus found in the Bible I also believe the Qur’an is the divine revelation it says it is.

One of my favourite passages of Scripture in the New Testament is the teaching of Jesus known as the Beatitudes, which I will share below. They are wonderful and have a grounding effect, perhaps you can relate:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

The above Scripture comforted me today. I am troubled that I’m still in hospital and can’t seem to get discharged. I know I must simply carry on, stay prayerful and positive, and wait for God’s perfect timing.

Thanks be to God.

God is Good

He is the Lord of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy. We may face mountainous problems but God is working everything together for good. Don’t ever abandon your dreams because you were given them for a reason. Trust in Him and never give up.

More on my plans

I realise my last post was quite final, but it was also quite short and ambiguous, so I thought I would write again and share some further thoughts.

Just as an aside, on a few occasions I have thought I was writing a final blog post, but I always seem to come back! Sorry for the indecisiveness.

I have been on this ward for months now. It’s really hard to see the doctor and even when I do it seems to make little difference. All I can do is trust in God’s timing and hope I’m discharged soon. There are many blessings being here, however.

In my last post, I wrote about how my plan is to focus on meditation and enlightenment. I have an idea of where I want to go to pursue this, although I’m choosing to keep it quiet for now.

An associated concern is that today I decided to pursue a life of celibacy. I find relationships are always troublesome and although I think women are amazing, I need the freedom of being unattached. I very nearly got into a fight on the ward today over a girl, and I don’t want that kind of stress in my life. Best to keep focused on God, remain unattached, and treat all human beings with equal regard and respect.

I will probably keep blogging because it helps me a great deal, especially while I’m in hospital. There’s just something about sharing thoughts which is very therapeutic (I know, preaching to the choir!).

I’m feeling a little bleak this evening. Partly depressed about the doctor avoiding me and not being allowed my laptop, partly because it’s just part of life to ebb and flow in one’s mood. I will have a shower when I’ve published this and hope that’s refreshing.

Feel free to leave a comment suggesting things I can do in hospital to pass the time, but bear in mind I currently have no money whatsoever! Thank you!