Steven Colborne's Blog, page 16

The Day of Judgement

Praise be to the Creator of the Universe, who is complete within Himself, lacking absolutely nothing, perfection itself, though man cannot understand this.

You are absolutely insignificant, though God has chosen you and called you to repent of your sins so that He can forgive you and perfect His blessing upon you.

God is ever-faithful, if He has called you, He has placed a seal on your mind, body, and spirit until the Day of Judgement. God will not forsake His saints.

You are a sinner and all God asks is that you acknowledge this, turn to Him, and ask for forgiveness. God delights in your weakness as it allows Him to demonstrate His strength (this is a great mystery).

The only reason why you were created is to worship God, so be mindful of your unique gifting and use it to worship and glorify your Creator, who is infinitely wise and supremely powerful.

God is patient, God is kind, He does not envy, He does not boast, from dusk until the dawn He calls His children home.

He is Almighty God, Elohim, Maker of the Earth, He is the Lord of Hosts, Heaven’s King, God of Endless Worth. His kingdom stands above every power, every living soul, His love is like the sun, ever true, shining over all.

Forgive me, Lord, please. You are my hope; my everything. I only want to glorify You, honour You, and receive Your mercy. Overlook my many sins on the Day of Judgement and grant me a place in the safety of paradise forever. Amen.

Hospital Update

Above all, I think God puts us in hospital to teach us things, although I question whether we ever really learn anything as we are merely conduits of God’s power. God has all knowledge and all wisdom, we are merely vessels, puppets (or ‘lemmings’ as a friend on the ward quite rightly described us!).

I feel so stupid. Everything I ever do is a mess of mistakes. And yet I know God’s power is made perfect in my weakness, my patheticness. Glory be to Him!

I did see the doctor today. It was relatively cordial and peaceful, not that I ever have any idea what’s going on in any situation. God only knows; I just plead for His mercy.

As I type, I’m sat in the outside area of this ward (a true blessing). The slightly unsightly picture that accompanies this post is of the view from where I’m sitting. I contemplated doing a ‘minimalist hospital room tour’ but there is something abysmally cringeworthy about that idea! Ooh, sunshine

You know how much I appreciate your interactions so please stay connected and don’t worry too much about me, there’s always light around.

Grace, peace, mercy!

Some Personal Reflections

Dear readers, your prayers in recent weeks have meant the world to me, as have your likes and comments. Thank you.

I’m still in hospital. God has been most gracious and merciful to me. A few months ago I prayed for God to refine my character. Little did I know He would do so through trials. Be careful what you pray for!

I realised how imperfect I am. I struggle with pride. It’s strange, because I don’t really have anything to be proud about. Yet still, this sin rears it’s ugly head in subtle and impulsive ways. I suppose I have to accept that I will never be perfect. But it doesn’t matter, because Jesus shed his blood to atone for my sins.

There are some theological matters that remain unresolved in my mind. I still struggle with the idea that Jesus is God and has existed eternally. The idea that Jesus is somehow creator of the universe seems idolatrous, at least from a certain perspective.

Nevertheless, I return to the Bible again and again. The teachings attributed to Jesus in the New Testament are so wonderful. The beatitudes in particular are ceaselessly grounding, as is the Lord’s Prayer. But I refuse to reject the Qur’an, which I know is a divine revelation. I don’t think I will resolve the contradictions between the Qur’an and the Bible on my own, but I do hang onto hope that they are not beyond resolution.

There is such power in the name of Jesus. When I cling to Jesus, my days go well. Wonderful things happen. It’s not always easy being a Christian, especially a (perhaps) unorthodox one, but I know Jesus is set apart as extremely special by God, he is the messiah, even if he isn’t God incarnate.

I have launched a Shopify store selling eBook editions of all my books, you can take a look here. If you purchase a book, you will be supporting me through financial hardship and I hope all of my books offer great value. They are an important part of my calling. After you place an order, you are able to choose your preferred eBook format and start reading immediately.

In a recent post, I mentioned a blog tour for my book Christianity, Islam, and the One True God. However, due to a lack of interest, I don’t think I will be going ahead with this. Not to worry, blog tours are kind of ‘old school’ now anyway I suppose!

I’m preparing myself psychologically for a lengthy stay on this ward. The consultant feels I am deluded, because I say God talks to me. I dispute this, but in any case my accommodation was such a minefield that I’m better off on the ward in many ways. I know not what the future holds, but I know God holds my future.

If you read my posts, I would like to encourage you to interact with likes and comments or by emailing me. I love blogging, and although I can’t approve every comment, I know this blog is so much richer due to readers who participate in the community features.

Wishing you grace, mercy, and peace from the God who is the architect of every area of our lives. Amen.

The ‘Frequency’ of Different Beliefs and Scriptures

I used to get frustrated when people who are interested in New Age spirituality would talk about ‘vibration’ and ‘frequency’ as they discussed different kinds of spiritual enlightenment. Everyone, they would say, has a certain frequency, with some frequencies associated with higher states of consciousness.

It was my error to be annoyed with this manner of speaking, even though my motivation was a love of truth and fear of God. I should have appreciated that there is usually some truth in any sincerely held belief.

I can appreciate this manner of speaking in relation to Christianity and Islam. When I listen to the Qur’an, I experience certain modes of thought and feeling, and I experience different thoughts and feelings when I listen to the Psalms or read the New Testament. I think it would be fair to say that different beliefs can all be understood as truth, though the ‘frequency’ with which that truth resonates differs from religion to religion, or from Scripture to Scripture.

The frequency of the Qur’an is strong, powerful, and stern, while the frequency of Jesus’ parables is loving, gentle, and kind (though authoritative). Of course, words are inadequate when discussing something of this nature and my descriptions are imperfect.

Conflict in religion comes when we hold fiercely to a particular doctrine because we love the frequency with which it resonates in us. But we should always remember that truth is about perspective and that conflicting religious perspectives can all feel absolutely true when we are experiencing the particular frequency with which they impact us.

An Invitation

Some of you will recall that back in 2019 I organised a ten-date blog tour to promote the release of my book God’s Grand Game. Today, I’m happy to announce I’m planning to do a similar tour for my latest book Christianity, Islam, and the One True God.

All readers of this blog are invited to take part!

Benefits:

Exposure of your blog to my 4500+ followers Receive a free copy of the bookA Q&A in which you can ask me anything Promotion of your blog on my Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn feeds

All you need to do is agree to feature the book on your blog on a set date. The Q&A is optional. If this appeals to you, simply drop an email to steven@tealightbooks.com with an expression of interest and I’ll email you back to discuss the details.

Solipsism Explored

Solipsism is the philosophical idea that the contents of your consciousness is all that exists. So, under solipsism, you who are reading this and your experience of reading this represents the totality of what exists in this moment.

The position makes sense, because you have only ever experienced your awareness, so how would you ever be able to know subjectively that there are other agents who are also experiencing life subjectively?

The way I understand this predicament is that God has absolute awareness at all times, and every creature is like a branch of the tree of consciousness. We all experience the world through our senses – we know this because when we close our eyes, for example, there is darkness. If our senses become impaired for some reason, our experience of the world is diminished.

So our senses enable us to have a limited experience of reality, whereas we can suppose God has a total experience of reality at all times.

In my book God’s Grand Game I dedicate some space to exploring the relationship between the God dimension of reality and the human dimension.

Some who practice meditation claim to access a higher state of consciousness where they can see what is happening in different locations. So the higher ones state of awareness is, the greater their experience of the totality, perhaps.

I have personally not experienced such higher states, so I can only speculate as to the truthfulness of such a ‘cosmic consciousness’ state of awareness, but I believe it makes sense to reason that such a state might exist.

In any case, I think that if God can create the awareness of one person, and if God is infinitely powerful, it makes sense to posit that every creature has an independent experience, and so solipsism – at least in my estimation – is a fascinating but erroneous philosophical perspective.

What are your thoughts on solipsism? Feel free to leave a comment below.

Resigned but Hopeful

This will probably be my last personal post for a while, then back to philosophy and theology.

I saw the consultant today. It was disheartening. Whenever I meet with her we have long chats but make close to no progress. I’ve never had such a difficult relationship with a consultant.

Seeing as there are no other ward doctors with the power to discharge patients, I am resigned to the fact that I could have a lengthy stay here. I am appealing against the admission, so that gives me some hope.

My greatest source of hope is Almighty God, who is above every situation and circumstance. I know I won’t be here for a moment longer than He wills, and He is most merciful.

It has been a very blessed day in very many ways. I have a Bible, a phone, a notebook, and countless other mercies. And a friendly patient who was discharged from the ward a few weeks ago came back today – I’m grateful for his company.

I will press on, doing what I can each day to live in a way worthy of my calling. I am terribly wretched, but the Lord takes thought of me. All glory to Almighty God forever. Amen.

From Despair to Where?

Friends, please forgive me for writing another personal post today. I really need to express the thoughts and feelings I’m presently experiencing.

I feel so stuck – trapped on this ward. After 10 weeks here things seem to be getting harder rather than better. There is spiritual darkness on the ward, and despite my best efforts to pray through it, that oppressive energy remains.

I haven’t eaten properly for a couple of days. I chipped a tooth while eating and it’s left a sharp edge which is digging into my tongue, making it swell. It’s painful to swallow.

I asked to see the consultant to discuss numerous things earlier in the week but she is seemingly ignoring me. I have never experienced a doctor like this one.

I feel very angry and frustrated about being kept here against my will. My only hope of being discharged is that God will have mercy on me and create a way out. If you’re willing to pray for me to be discharged, I’d be most grateful.

Thank you for reading, and thanks be to God.

Poor in Spirit

Friends, my mood is low. I am not complaining, just being honest. In a way, I hope God leaves me in this state. Blessed are the poor in spirit.

I’m hoping to see the consultant today. I don’t know what will happen. But the most important thing is that I remain grounded in my faith in Jesus.

God bless you all and thank you for your support, both in reading my blog and supporting me in prayer. I am indebted to you.

Praise, honour, and glory to God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

To My Followers

Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy. (James 5:10-11)

Sorry for posting quite often at the moment, friends. I am doing so because writing helps me to process my thoughts, because I like connecting with fellow bloggers, and I also hope my posts might be encouraging to others. Being in hospital, blogging is a valuable connection to other people and the outside world. Don’t worry if you can’t keep up with all my posts, it doesn’t matter, but your support is truly appreciated.

The Scripture from James that I have shared above serves as a great reminder that our trials always serve a purpose. My mood lifts when I remember that the Lord is full of compassion and mercy. I pray that this truth would resound in your spirit each and every day, and that youwould never forget that God is always working things out for good.

I pray that every follower of this blog would be blessed today, that God would give you favour and joy, and that the peace which surpasses all understanding would guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Thank you for following