Jonelle Patrick's Blog, page 52

Shaved Cats

Puss In Boots

Okay, I know it’s summertime, and in Japan that means we all wish we could go around without fur, but how weird is it that there are whole sections in Japanese cat magazines devoted to fashionable fur-cuts?

This one is supposed to look like the king of beasts, but the royal we are not fooled.

Okay, if I was this kitteh, I would not feel the need to hide under the sofa until my hair grew back.

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

Mortal Sins Of Urban Planning

That stone thing crossing the river is one of the most famous historical constructions in Japan, immortalized in countless woodblock prints, haiku and works of literary genius.

So, can you even believe this?

If someone came to Sister Jonelle’s Confessional and admitted that they’d OKed building a honkin’ big expressway right over the Nihonbashi Bridge, I’d pretty much tell them that it’s unlikely they’ll live long enough to say the number of Hail Marys necessary to atone for this grievous sin. Even Our Lady Of Rude Kustoms does not approve of this jaw-dropping example of urban planning failitude.

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

Moustaches I Would Regret

Or should I say scumstaches? What these wispy ghosts of fake beards/moustaches lack in identity concealment, they more than make up for in believability. Japanese men are not generally candidates for Unibrow Intervention or Bushiest Beard contest winning, so even a goatee-ette of this magnitude might take weeks of careful cultivating. Much faster to get your manhood on with a stick-on bad boy like these.

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

Love, Peace, Death &…

Nicotine!

Neither skulls nor snakes nor screaming eagles will deter the proud owner of this Black Flame jacket from consuming his daily pack of smokes.

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

Monsoon Season, Lock ‘n Load

It’s tsuyu season in Japan right now, which pretty much means all rain, all the time. (Not to be confused with typhoon season, which is all rain, RIGHT NOW.) Both seasons require industrial strength anti-wetness gear, and what could be more dedicated to staying dry through relentless rain (and the diabolical wind it rode in on) than the Unbrella?

Specially designed to not only resist being blown inside out just far enough away from your front door to get a thorough soaking, no matter how fast you run (that’s where it always happens, trust me on this), its patented design sends the message to other sufferers that you are so serious about staying dry, you’re willing to look like one of those guys riding ergonomic reclining bikes (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) to prove it.

Comes in many colors of…blue!

 

 

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. I saw these at (where else?) that purveyor of the weird and wonderful, Tokyu Hands in Shibuya.

One-Stop Partytime Shopping…For Cats

It’s eleven o’clock – do you know where your kitteh is? Unsupervised cats-about-town head for Roppongi Station, where they can load up on CATNIP TEA from this handy partytime vending machine. They don’t even have to flash a fake ID!

I badly wanted to test the mood-altering properties of this heady elixir, but with cats costing as much as a used car in Japan, I couldn’t find anyone to volunteer their feline for this important scientific work. Any takers? (=^ェ^=)

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. 

Glow-In-The-Dark Skeleton Vending Machine

Looking for a dinner companion who will light up when you’re near, even if you’re only eating Cup Noodles by the glow of your computer screen? Look no further, Forever Alones, now that there’s a vending machine that dispenses cute little glow-in-the-dark skeletons designed to cavort along the rim of your glass! A take-off on the wildly popular schoolgirl figures, one of the Skeletors even comes with a zombie lemon.

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. 

I’ll See Your Triple Burger And Raise You A Shrimp Puck

What is Lotteria thinking? Seriously, how could you even bite that thing? I’m not talking about the triple-decker beef-o-rama – I’m eyeing that fried shrimp tower-o-power with the shovelful of tartar sauce just waiting to squish out the other side and all over your shoes (and your socks and your pants and, basically, the shoes of anyone standing within a five foot radius.)

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. 

I’ll See Your Triple Burger And Raise You A Shrimp Puck!

What is Lotteria thinking? Seriously, how could you even bite that thing? I’m not talking about the triple-decker beef-o-rama – I’m eyeing that fried shrimp tower-o-power with the shovelful of tartar sauce just waiting to squish out the other side and all over your shoes (and your socks and your pants and, basically, the shoes of anyone standing within a five foot radius.)

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. 

Peonies As Big As Dinner Plates!

If you could smell these right now, you’d be in heaven. Nishiarai Daishi Temple, Tokyo

Not to be outdone by the cherry blossoms, azaleas and wisteria, the peonies of Tokyo come into their glory in May and June! First the big boys, like these at the Hama-Rikyu Garden, then the lovely fragrant ones at Nishiarai Daishi Temple.

Hama-Rikyu Garden, Hamamatsucho

Hama-Rikyu Garden, Hamamatsucho

Hama-Rikyu Garden, Hamamatsucho

Hama-Rikyu Garden, Hamamatsucho

Hama-Rikyu Garden, Hamamatsucho

Hama-Rikyu Garden, Hamamatsucho

Blooming plants get their own parasols at Nishiaria Daishi Temple.

More Japanese flower goodness here:

Hanami Blitz: My Picks For The Best Cherry Blossoms In Tokyo

Cherry Blossom-O-Rama

Once Again, Plum Blossoms Do Not Disappoint!

Better Than Cherry Blossom Season

Early Spring At A Beautiful Garden

Azalea Mania

So How Come Azaleas Are Chopped Liver?

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.