Jonelle Patrick's Blog, page 49

Spicy Tomato Filled Doughnuts?

Aieeeee, when I saw this on the menu at Krispy Kreme, I knew I’d have to strap on my Try Anything Once Cojones and take one for the team!

My first clue this wasn’t a regular doughnut was that funny little pesto-tomato hat on top.

Inside was, basically, a sort of sweet pizza sauce. I wouldn’t say it was BAD, but dammit, if I’m going to feel guilty for eating a doughnut, I want it to be a guilty PLEASURE. +_+

So I bit into it and it was…odd. Not bad, exactly, but it definitely didn’t trigger the usual Step Away From That Bag O’Doughnuts warning sirens either. The doughnutty part was the usual Krispy Kreme bread, I think, but since an overwhelming percentage of KK’s sweetness usually comes from the glazes and stuffings, this came off more like a soft pizza without any toppings.

This did make me wonder what’s up with the Japanese junk food market, though – with even Haagen Dazs introducing veggie ice creams, I hope the new trend isn’t to blur the line between main dish and dessert. Because EW.

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

An Afternoon At The Poo Museum

Welcome to the Poo Museum!

Poo rules at the National Museum of Emerging Science and Innovation! Their current special exhibit tells you everything you always wanted to know about that most human and unmentionable of subjects, and it’s helpfully narrated by a series of talking toilets. You can even don a poo hat and flush yourself down the giant toilet slide to follow the journey of those infamous brown trout as they wend their way through the Tokyo sewer system!

Who can resist singing along with a chorus of educational toilets?

Birds do it, bees do it, and so do (left to right) pandas, sumatran tigers and giraffes. (Am I the only one who is surprised that giraffe turds are so small?)

Super Pooman not only demonstrates the pinnacle of poo pulchiritude by being banana-like in color and shape, he imparts essential information about color, size and shape so you can secretly analyze your own.

You KNOW you’ve always wanted to ask these questions!

For the experiential learner, these handy models.

Toilet Hall Of Fame: would you prefer the golden throne that graced the Japan Industry Pavilion at the 2010 World Expo in Shanghai? Or how about the space station toilet (for all your anti-gravity needs)? Or perhaps the rhinestone commode is more your style (it’s encrusted with 72,000 of those blingy babes.)

And finally, strap on your trusty poo hat and take the plunge!

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. Sadly, this is not a permanent exhibit at the Miraikan – it only runs until October 5th, 2014.

Do I Smell Like A Grapefruit Yet?

Seriously! According to the package, this “Body Fragrance” confection “aromatizes body with a sweet fragrance.” I imagined it to be kind of like eating raw garlic – except your skin is supposed to exude the attractive aroma of grapefruit instead of making everyone in the train hastily change seats – but I’ve been popping these candies like, well, candy, and I can’t tell if it’s working or not. Can one of you pop over here and take a delicate whiff, please?

Hmm, if it fails to make me smell like a large citrus fruit, I hope it’ll at least make me brisk.

If’d rather smell like a grapefruit, but if it fails to deliver, I’ll have to try for grape, berry or rose.

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

Yes, Even The Cheese Is Black

I finally tried Burger King Japan’s most recent all-black, all-the-time burger offering, and OMG please don’t look now, but I wolfed it down in record time. It looks pretty weird (especially the BLACK CHEESE) but the taste was I-think-I’d-better-have-another-in-the-interest-of-science good.

“Shalyapin Sauce”? Apparently it’s named after a Russian opera singer who had a toothache when he toured Japan, so a Japanese chef devised an extra-tender steak smothered in onion-mirin sauce. This is the, uh, low-rent dark side version of that.

Bun, cheese and sauce are all flavored with bamboo charcoal and squid ink – two things I’d normally avoid like the plague – but like the sinister orange powder in Cheetos and Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, somehow they make this weird-looking food utterly addictive. At first I couldn’t figure out what mystery ingredient was giving the meat an extra kick, but it turns out to be laced with lots of black pepper, which I secretly love.

You can go all-black purist or have it with the works.

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

Up To My Knees In A Vermilion Sea

As you may have guessed by now, in Japan no flower is safe from being planted together en masse, in order to deliver total sensory overload at the appointed moment. It’s no surprise that cherry blossoms, wisteria and azaleas all vie to attract record crowds as they burst into bloom, but who knew that lesser-known denizens have their own theme parks too?

Last week I went with some Japanese friends to Kinchakuda, a flower park near Koma Station, and the spidery red lilies did not disappoint! These members of the amaryllis family are called higanbana – “equinox flowers” – because in Japan they bloom just as summer slips into autumn, at the moment when the night becomes the same length as the day.

 

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

Knee-Deep In A Sea Of Red

As you may have guessed by now, in Japan no flower is safe from being planted together en masse, in order to deliver total sensory overload at the appointed moment. It’s no surprise that cherry blossoms, wisteria and azaleas all vie to attract record crowds as they burst into bloom, but who knew that lesser-known denizens have their own theme parks too?

Last week I went with some Japanese friends to Kinchakuda, a flower park near Koma Station, and the spidery red lilies did not disappoint! These members of the amaryllis family are called higanbana – “equinox flowers” – because in Japan they bloom just as summer slips into autumn, at the moment when the night becomes the same length as the day.

 

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

Frankly, My Dear, I Don’t Give A Damn (That We’re Both Female And Japanese!)

Yes, the famed all-female Takarazuka troupe is back on stage, mustachioed and corseted and ready to kick some Civil War butt! After mind-bendingly taking on the roles of handsome male scalawags (Oceans Eleven) and all-American soldiers fighting the Japanese (South Pacific), it’s not so much of a stretch to imagine a dashing Rhette-ette sweeping Scarlett off her feet. But one does wonder how the all-Japanese cast is going to pull off Mammy, Pork and Prissy…

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

See-Thru Sportcoat

From a distance, it looks like a regular men’s sportcoat, right?

If this isn’t the best men’s clothing invention I’ve ever seen, I don’t know what is: a business-safe sportcoat that looks like your standard-issue black suit, but is actually made of unlined linen so the wearer doesn’t have to roast in the wilting summertime heat!

But up close, see how the lining just comes to below his shoulder blades, and his white shirt shows through beneath, just a little? (Sorry the picture isn’t fab – in real life, you could see the plaid of his short through the bottom part too, if you really looked.)

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

Art Aquarium

 

Part laser light show, part aquatic extravaganza, Art Aquarium is the newest take on the old idea of keeping cool during the steamy Japanese summertime by contemplating goldfish bowls.

Over 3 million people have visited this summer-long exhibition since it started in 2008, and now I see why: giant artfully-designed aquariums use inset lenses, unusual faceted angles and ever-changing choreographed spotlights to turn tens of thousands of goldfish into living art. Set in a dark gallery, the “goldfish bowls” glow like jewels, the fish inside mesmerizing visitors like a living kaleidoscope. Unusual hybrids have their own room, with perfect specimens of each variety showcased in lozenges of colored light.

This year, then Nihonbashi Art Aquarium runs from July 11 – September 23, but every year it returns from mid-July to the end of September. The only difference between the daytime hours and “Night Aquarium” is that they sell drinks and have DJed music playing at night.

Hours: Art Aquarium (11:00 – 19:00), Night Aquarium (19:00 – 23:30)

Entrance fee: Adults (1,000 yen), Children (600 yen), Under 3 (free)

Location: Nihonbashi Mitsui Hall, Tokyo (in the Coredo complex) Muromachi 2-2-1, Nihonbashi

Nearest subway station: Mitsukoshi-mae

Official website (in Japanese): http://h-i-d.co.jp/art/

Note: Some people object to living creatures being exhibited like this, but aside from the changing lighting, the conditions seemed better than in some aquariums I have visited, and certainly many pet stores. The aquariums were sparkling clean, the fish lively, and I only saw one (among tens of thousands) that was belly up.

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

 

 

 

 

Chocolate, Strawberry and…Bean Powder?

Okay, buckaroos, it’s time to play Guess That Flavor with these cones of soft-serve goodness I spotted recently in Asakusa! Our first contestants are the lovely blue ice cream on the left, and the tasty-looking coffee-colored one on the right. (Wily contestants will recognize that’s a hint it definitely doesn’t taste like a cup o’ Joe!)

Next up, that delightfully vanilla-ish-looking one in the middle (a dead giveaway, of course, that it’s NOT vanilla. heh.)

And finally, the bonus round! Extra you’re-turning-Japanese points for naming the specific seasonal and regional flavor atrributes!

So, how did you do?

Answers: 1: Purple Sweet Potato and Buckwheat Noodle; 2: Bean Powder (to be fair, this is not just some random bean powder made from yucky lima beans or something, but is actually roasted soybean powder and it’s quite tasty and I myself sometimes order this kind of ice cream DON’T JUDGE); 3: Fully Ripened Melon, Chinese-Style Almond Jelly, and Chocolate Banana

o right = I’m sorry, but I’m afraid nobody will ever mistake you for a native Japanese.

1 right = People who order vegetarian sushi at Red Lobster might mistake you for Japanese.

2 right = You could be mistaken for Japanese in a very dark room by someone who had never actually been there but is pretty sure they’d like it because: James Bond in You Only Live Twice.

3 right = You might be mistaken for Japanese by someone who knows every line in Totoro.

4 right = Someone who has read every single Naruto comic book in translation will recognize you as a fellow Japanese when they meet you online.

5 right = You will be mistaken for Japanese in Shibuya at 2:00 a.m. by an actual Japanese person.

5 right + bonus for adjectives = You will be mistaken for Japanese in broad daylight even if you are blond and blue-eyed.

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.