Nick Ortner's Blog, page 48

Turning Bullies Into Enlightened Leaders

Bullies are made, not born, and yet, many of us, quite understandably, struggle to feel compassion for them. What then happens is that bullies lose their voice, often even their right to speak, except when they’re behaving like bullies.

So what happens when we go out of our way to give bullies a voice – and then, a chance to heal from the pain that is causing them to behave like bullies? It was the question The Tapping Solution Foundation got an opportunity to answer when we first began working with Shyla.

During her last year in middle school, Shyla had suddenly turned into a dark, brooding teenager. Now in high school, her grades had been on a downward spiral, and nearly every week she was being sent to the principal’s office for bullying.

Prone to rage-fueled outbursts, Shyla had become a source of disruption and frustration for teachers and adminstrators alike. Unfortunately, the ongoing negative attention she was getting – in the form of school detention, reprimands, and more – only seemed to worsen her attitude, behavior, and performance.

What few at her school initially realized was that Shyla’s transformation had taken place soon after a shooting had taken place at her former school. Forced to remain still and quiet in the dark for five agonizingly long hours of city-wide lockdown, Shyla, then a middle schooler, had huddled alone under a desk listening for gunshots while helicopters flew overhead and sirens blared nearby.

Although she had survived that day, all these years later Shyla was being haunted by the trauma of that experience. To make matters worse, Shyla’s family life was unpredictable. Whether at home or school, Shyla felt she had nowhere to turn for support and guidance.

Fortunately, one administrator at her current school looked into Shyla’s history. After realizing that Shyla had been caught in that shooting, the school reached out to The Tapping Solution Foundation, which is increasingly being recognized for the success of its trauma relief programs in schools nationwide.

Soon after sitting down with Shyla, it was clear to Lori Leyden, Director of The Tapping Solution Foundation, that Shyla was suffering from untreated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) incurred during the school shooting.

After explaining how tapping accesses the amygdala in the brain and then lowers cortisol levels in the body, Lori asked how her body feels when she’s overcome by rage. Shyla described a burning sensation in her stomach, and an inability to think before acting out her rage.

Hoping to motivate her to do trauma healing work, Lori asked Shyla what her goal was. Kids who are labeled as “bullies” are often punished, but rarely asked what they want or how they feel, so giving Shyla a voice in the process was critical. “I want to improve my grades so I can transfer to the school I want to go to,” Shyla replied without hesitation.

While many of her teachers saw Shyla as an out of control problem student, it was clear that Shyla had done extensive independent research about attending this one specific school. In order to attend that school, however, she had to maintain a higher grade point average and receive positive reviews from teachers.

With that long-term goal clearly in mind, Lori then asked Shyla to focus on a petty annoyance she’d recently experienced. Before diving into trauma healing work, it’s important to experience some kind of results from tapping, as those initial results make people more invested in the process.

Shyla’s petty annoyance had happened a few days earlier, when her sister had borrowed Shyla’s favorite shirt without asking. Using that event as a starting point, Lori led Shyla through a few rounds of tapping. Within just a few minutes, Shyla could recall the event without feeling any irritation. She also shared that her body felt more relaxed.

Over a period of several weeks, Lori had weekly tapping sessions with Shyla, focusing on clearing the emotional intensity of her memories of the school shooting. When the focus turned to Shyla’s bullying behavior, it became clear that she, like many kids, had only begun bullying others after being continually bullied by a small group of students at her current school.

Her bullying was a coping strategy, a way to appear tough so that she herself would no longer be harassed.

There had been one especially traumatic day when a student had called her fat, and then ripped her shirt and pushed her into a nearby crowd to be publicly mocked. Just recalling that day, Shyla could feel rage burning in her stomach before racing up into her head. With that memory fresh in her mind, it took just two rounds of tapping to get Shyla’s rage from a 10 out of 10 down to a 2.

After releasing the emotional charge from these events and others, Shyla once again became a different kid. This time, however, the transformation was a reflection of her positive mental and emotional well-being. The next time she was bullied, instead of lashing out in rage, she stayed calm. She also reported the bullying to school administrators.

Her goal of getting into the other school was so important to her that, for the first time ever, Shyla was willing to risk being called a “tattle tale.”

Since then, Shyla has become a leader at her school. Teachers and administrators alike now see her as an example of the transformation they want to see in other students.

Once she’d used tapping to heal from the trauma of the school shooting she’d survived, Shyla no longer needed to use bullying behavior to defend herself. Instead, she can rely on positive forms of leadership to move her life and school community forward.

By giving Shyla a chance to heal and reclaim her voice, Shyla could see that she didn’t have to be victim to others’ bullying. Nor did she need to use bullying behaviors to protect herself. What a difference! J

I’m thrilled to share that The Tapping Solution Foundation is doing this kind of work at a growing number of schools around the country, helping students, teachers and administrators to heal from trauma, and to support them all in fostering a positive environment for learning and social/emotional development. Just imagine what could happen if all children everywhere had easy access to the kind of healing that Shyla and her school community received.

Do you have a similarly inspiring story about bullies and trauma healing that you’d like to share? If so, we’d love to hear it in the comments below.

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What if he hadn’t made that mistake?

This past Saturday, I had something simply extraordinary happen to me.

On a beautiful, crisp September morning, I was walking in New York city on my way to speak at the Hay House Writer’s Workshop. Reid Tracy, a dear friend and the President of Hay House was to my right, and his friend Charlie to my left.

About two blocks away from the Javits center, Reid made a mistake, telling us to take a right…

And that simple mistake…made something really astounding happen.

Now, before I tell you what happened, a little context to this story. The walk from our hotel to the Javits center is a straight shot down 11th Avenue. Not a single turn, about 10 blocks south and you hit the Javits Center, a huge building that you just can’t miss.

On top of that, I’ve probably walked this same route a good ten times over the past couple of years, staying at the same hotel and speaking in the same place. Reid, who said we needed to turn right, has likely done it 20 to 30 times.

So what he did, and the fact that I followed him, made NO sense. We walked halfway down the block, and I could see the water on the Hudson and said, “Reid, this isn’t the right way. Don’t we just keep going straight?” He quickly agreed and was surprised with himself that he had turned right, but we got back on the main avenue and quickly forgot about it.

It wasn’t more than 20 seconds of walking when a lady ran up to us, “Are you Reid Tracy?” she said. “Yes,” he quickly answered. “Are you Nick Ortner?” she said as she looked at me. “Sure am,” I replied. She introduced herself, “My name is Hannah and I was just watching the tribute to Wayne Dyer last night and saw both of you on there! Oh my god…I can’t believe you’re here right now…” she continued.

Now, at this point, I thought it was someone going to the workshop, because we were just one block away from the Javits center. Being recognized at a workshop you’re running isn’t that surprising! Haha!

But what she said next floored me, “I live down that street,” she said as she pointed down the street we had mistakenly gone down, “and I saw you turn down the street, thought I recognized you, and then have been chasing you for half a block to see if it was really you!”

And then it got even crazier…

“Nick,” she said as she stared into my eyes. “You literally saved my life. Five years ago, I was online reading about how to drink anti-freeze in order to kill myself. I had heard it was an easy way to go, and I was done with life. Somehow, I stumbled on to one of your tapping videos, started tapping right there, in that moment, and felt a tremendous sense of relief. I tapped ALL night long and for the next couple of days. It transformed my life, gave me hope again and in the past five years, everything has changed.”

She went on to tell us about the amazing work she’s doing now, helping others heal, using sound healing, tapping and more. We chatted for a few more minutes, gave each other a big hug, and we parted ways.

Charlie, Reid’s friend who was joining us on the walk down said shortly after, “Wow…is this a regular thing that happens to you guys???”

We laughed and began talking about how bizarre it was that we took that right turn, because if we hadn’t made that “mistake” none of that would have happened. I’m still processing the beauty and magic of that experience, and all of its implications.

But here are my quick take-aways from it for you:

1. There are no accidents. Why did we take a right? Why did we make that simple, silly mistake? Why that block and not the block before or after? Clearly, something beyond us was happening here, to set up this magical occasion.

2. You never know who you’re helping with your good work. What I get to do on a daily basis is a blessing 1,000 times over. I am so grateful for the opportunity to share this life-changing technique with the world, to help others heal. The fact that somehow, something I did made such a profound difference in Hannah’s life, literally saving it, is beyond me. And truly, it is beyond me, because it wasn’t ME that did this, it was HER. She found her way to healing her deepest wounds, I was just there offering a helping hand. Remember, every good deed you do in the world has a profound ripple effect, one that we don’t always get to experience the way I didon Saturday.

3. Our lives can be magical, if we allow them to be so. Reason and logic can certainly serve us, they’re important and shouldn’t be simply discarded. But boy, do I love magical living and thinking! Life is fun when we allow, notice and embrace the synchronicity, thechance encounters, the small signs and guideposts along the way. Allow the magic into your life!

Comment: What does this story bring up in you? Do YOU believe in synchronicity?

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10 Symptoms of Inner Peace​

This week, I’m preparing for what is one of the greatest honors I’ve ever been given, an invitation to speak on Friday night at the Hay House “I Can Do It!” event in Orlando, during their tribute to Wayne Dyer.

In preparation, I’ve been diving deep back into Wayne’s material, as I did so many years ago.

Just last night, I was listening to an audio program of his called, “It’s Never Crowded Along The Extra Mile,” within which he shared the story of the “Peace Pilgrim”, who, from 1953 to 1981, walked more than 25,000 miles on a personal pilgrimage for peace.

Wayne shared her 10 “symptoms” of Inner Peace and I found them simple, moving, really quite extraordinary. Find out what the 10 “symptoms” are here and see if YOU are experiencing any of them…

10 Symptoms of Inner Peace

1. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences

2. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment

3. A loss of interest in judging other people

4. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others

5. A loss of interest in conflict

6. A loss of the ability to worry

7. Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation

8. Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature

9. Frequent attacks of smiling

10. An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it

What symptoms of Inner Peace are you experiencing? Share below!

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Something that feels GOOD

Every day, we face a countless number of CHOICES. Every moment really, we’re choosing what to think, what to do next, how to act.

Turn left or right? Check Facebook or go for a walk? Read the news or an inspiring book? Sit on the couch or exercise?

And with virtually all these choices, when faced with an “A” or “B” choice, we know which one will make us FEEL better. But all too often, we chose the choice that actually DOESN’T make us feel better (which is crazy of course and a much deeper discussion).

We choose the easy choice. We choose the patterned choice. We choose something that lowers our energy and feelings of well-being instead of increasing it.

So what to do?

Step 1: Start small. Make ONE different choice today. And I don’t care how big it is. A ten minute walk BEFORE sitting on the couch. Fantastic! 5 minutes of reading an inspiring book BEFORE reading the news. 2 minutes of Tapping BEFORE making that phone call. You did it!

Step 2: Make ONE different choice tomorrow.

Step 3: Rinse and repeat…

Hay House Writer’s Workshop

New York Writer’s Workshop, 9/26-27: Are you a writer with a great book idea with a strong desire to be published? Do you just need the insider scoop on how to perfect and publish your book? This is the workshop for you!

Enter our contest for YOUR chance to publish a book with Hay House and become a New York Times best-selling author! One participant is guaranteed a $10,000 advance and a publishing contract with Hay House!

It’s time for your writing dreams to come true. Stop delaying them.

http://www.thetappingsolution.com/ts/hh-writers-workshop

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Helping School Children Thrive

What happens when we give children a chance to develop emotionally and mentally, as well as academically, within the school environment? Traditionally viewed as places of learning, the biggest challenges students face often have little to do with the curriculum. Instead, factors like test anxiety, classroom dynamics, social pressures, as well as bullying, issues at home, and in some cases, trauma, can have the largest impact on how students perform.

Eager to support students in managing their emotional well-being, The Tapping Solution Foundation designed a short, simple program that would be easy for schools to incorporate into their packed schedules. The Foundation then offered that program to Pacific Grove Middle School in Pacific Grove, CA, curious to see what kind of impact it would have.

Before the school rolled the program out to students, teachers were given a training session in tapping. During that training, school staff and teachers were taught how to tap, as well as how tapping impacts the body, relieving stress by lowering cortisol levels in the body.

Once the teachers had been trained, the only change to school routines happened at the start of each school day, when the 11 and 12-year old students come together for homeroom. Instead of jumping directly into the day’s announcements, teachers began each morning’s homeroom with a six-minute group tapping meditation.

During that time, teachers, students and staff did tapping on releasing stress and anxiety, and then ended by tapping on setting positive intentions for kindness, gratitude, and achieving specific academic goals that day.

Within the first two weeks of this daily practice, student social and test anxiety went down, test scores improved, and behavioral issues among students decreased. Teachers, students, and staff also noticed that special needs children were self-regulating better. Bullying also went down as cooperation and productivity went up.

Before long, these tapping meditations had had such an effect on the students, teachers, and staff that tapping became a central part of the classroom culture. When a student was having a bad day, it was common for another student to suggest that the entire class pause to tap with that student. Similarly, students began suggesting they all tap together when a teacher seemed to be having a bad day.

As a result, students are continuing to perform better on all levels – academically, socially and emotionally. Relationships within and beyond the classroom have also dramatically improved. It’s been a huge shift, all from just six minutes of tapping per day.

Thanks to the overwhelming success of the program in Pacific Grove, it has since been expanded, and is now active in schools in Hawaii, New York State, Connecticut and beyond.

To learn more about the work we’re doing in schools and elsewhere, visit TheTappingSolutionFoundation.org website here.

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Wayne Dyer Woke Me Up This Morning…

I’m pretty sure Wayne Dyer woke me up at 5 a.m. this morning…

The last couple of months, with a newborn in the house, it’s been our daughter June waking me up, but today was different. Two days after Wayne’s passing, I feel his influence in my life more strongly than I ever have before.

So as I found myself stirring at 5 a.m., I could hear Wayne’s voice, quoting Rumi:

“The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you

Don’t go back to sleep!

You must ask for what you really want.

Don’t go back to sleep!

People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two worlds touch,

The door is round and open

Don’t go back to sleep!”

After a bit of silent protesting (but Wayne, sleep is precious these days…5am???), I listened to the message and got up. And now I sit here joining you.

And I sit here joining you in another of Wayne’s beloved practices: Writing. Wayne penned all his books by hand, writing them out on yellow sheets of paper, a practice which while incredible and admirable, I will politely decline to partake of this morning. The results of that would be illegible handwriting that never saw the light of day, and a left hand smudged with ink.

But in honor of Wayne, I wake at dawn (it’s actually pitch black out right now, overshot it a bit… oops), and I write.

I thought all day yesterday about how Wayne would want to be remembered, and while I can’t say for sure, I’m quite certain that he would want nothing more than but for us to commune once again with his millions of wise words. He would want us to love more deeply, to give more freely, to forgive more fully.

So yesterday I loaded my iPod back up with all the amazing lectures of his that I’ve heard again and again and again and asked, “What do you have to share with me today Wayne?”

I was struck as I listened to him yesterday and this morning, that this is a man, who in his passing, TRULY lives on. We often say that about those we love, and it’s true, they live on in our memories, in our hearts and with Wayne, he lives on in the legacy of thinking he left behind.

So today, as you go about your day, I invite you to practice just one of the things he often talked about:

Making Conscious Contact

This idea can mean different things to different people. It can be religious, or secular. It can be profound, in deep meditation or it can be simple, sitting with eyes closed for 30 seconds at a traffic light as you commute to work (as Wayne joked, there’s always someone behind you kind enough to let you know the light has turned- lol!)

So today- Make Conscious Contact.

Find one moment, find ten, where you pause, you breathe and you connect to the deepest part of who you are. Personally, when I do this I pay attention for, and wait for that moment of “connection”.

It feels like something is syncing up, like there’s a greater awareness, breathing slows down, perhaps you feel a tingle in your spine, perhaps some love in your heart. It’s a moment when you know you are closer to the divine, to your true nature than you were the moment before.

Even now, as you’re reading this, you have the opportunity, don’t let it pass, to take even 10 seconds to make conscious contact.

Do it. Do it for yourself. Do it for your family. Do it for the world.

Do it for Wayne.

Much love!

Nick

P.S. Share with me below, what does making conscious contact mean to you? Did you actually do it just now? What happened?

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Free Tapping Meditation for Procrastination

Do you procrastinate? If so, do you know why? And do you know what it’s REALLY costing you?

Wayne Gretzky, the greatest hockey player of all time, said, “Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases, and its toll on success and happiness is heavy.” Is your success and happiness suffering because of procrastination?

If you ever procrastinate and think that you’d like to change, then I have a wonderful video for you today, a free tapping meditation that you can get moving right away! Watch it now – don’t procrastinate! Ha, ha!

Tapping Meditation – Procrastination

Do you procrastinate? If so, do you know why? And do you know what it’s REALLY costing you?Wayne Gretzky, the greatest hockey player of all time, said, “Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases, and its toll on success and happiness is heavy.” Is your success and happiness suffering because of procrastination?If you ever procrastinate and think that you’d like to change, then I have a wonderful video for you today, a free #tapping meditation that you can get moving right away! Watch it now – don’t procrastinate! Ha, ha!

Posted by Nick Ortner on Saturday, August 8, 2015

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Related posts:
From Doubt to a Seed of Hope – Tapping Meditation

Your Questions Answered

Do you have a question about tapping? I’ve been working on answering YOUR tapping questions in my new FAQ Video Series – check it out!

In this episode:

-Tapping for autoimmune disorders

-Feeling overwhelmed about where to start tapping

-Relationship challenges

-Success stories!

Enjoy this video and please comment below with your questions for future episodes:

Tapping for Autoimmune Disorders and More Answers to Your Questions!

Do you have a question about tapping? I’ve been working on answering YOUR #tapping questions in my new FAQ Video Series – check it out!In this episode:-Tapping for #autoimmune disorders -Feeling overwhelmed about where to start tapping, -Relationship challenges-Success stories!Enjoy this video and please comment below with your questions for future episodes

Posted by Nick Ortner on Wednesday, August 12, 2015

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Let’s Get Together, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah…

Remember that song? From the classic, “The Parent Trap”? I know you’re starting to sing it now. If you’ve never seen it or forgotten it, watch this classic video here.

Reminded me of watching this movie growing up 100 times on the Disney channel..

Anyway, that is not the real point of this blog post (just a fun diversion), the real point is to invite you to join me in person in New York City or Orlando in the coming month.

Here’s the quick scoop:

New York Writer’s Workshop, 9/26-27: Are you a writer with a great book idea with a strong desire to be published? Do you just need the insider scoop on how to perfect and publish your book? This is the workshop for you!

Enter our contest for YOUR chance to publish a book with Hay House and become a New York Times best-selling author! One participant is guaranteed a $10,000 advance and a publishing contract with Hay House!

It’s time for your writing dreams to come true. Stop delaying them. Start now.

Orlando I Can Do It: The Tapping Solution Intensive, Friday, September 18th

In this one day workshop I’ll will guide you through both the basic and advanced tapping techniques that can help the body heal, overcome limiting beliefs and stuck emotions, break old patterns and more.

I’ll be working directly with people on stage and we’ll be focusing on finally breaking through what’s keeping you stuck. If you have a vision, a desire, a calling to manifest the greatest version of you, this day might be exactly what you need. Join me.

My life has changed dramatically from getting out of my comfort zone, driving or jumping on a plane, and attending powerful weekend events. Take this powerful step in the direction of your dreams today.

Some other goodies for you:

Oh, how human we are!

It’s funny when I meet people out and about, either at events or planes or wherever, they often say, “I can’t believe you’re a real person! I’ve gotten your emails for years and it seems to strange to meet you in person!” Well, we are VERY real…lol

My sister is especially real, one of the most down-to-earth, funny, silly, NY Times bestselling authors I know…haha! If you have 8 seconds to spare (literally) and want to laugh, watch this:

And if you want to more of her great insights, listen in on her new podcast (where I’m often a guest commentator!), “Adventures in Happiness”.

Android users can listen here.

(and make sure to “subscribe” so you can automatically get new podcasts as we release them)

Pain Relief IS Possible

The Washington Post recently reported that more than 1 in 10 adults suffer from chronic pain, every single day. 1 in 10!!! That is crazy and so so sad. If you or someone you love is in physical pain, the results I’ve seen with tapping for pain are simply extraordinary.

Learn more during my free webinar here.

And learn more about the extended program here.

You can also explore:

Article Case Study: Tapping for Pain Relief

Article Case Study: How A Diagnosis Can Alter Your Life

Video: Tapping for Pain Relief

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

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