Holy Ghost Writer's Blog, page 33
August 19, 2014
Stories of the Order - Pizza
Can you imagine a time without pizza? Well believe it or not there was a time when the world functioned very well without that large flat expanse of half baked bread covered with cheese numerous bits of factory left overs and tomato sauce. People were quite satisfied with their fish and chips on a Saturday night, and in fact this was so much part of the Englishman's life that the practice was often denounced from the pulpit as the local minister on his way home from Evensong would meet wee Jamie tearing round the corner to the local chip shop clutching a ten bob note for the family to be fed on their weakly fish and chips doused with tomato sauce. Ah no the minister would say this is not the way to feed your family. The little ones need something more nutritious than fish and chips.
The tomato sauce was actually a new introduction to the Englishman's fare. HP sauce was the first sauce produced and it had a good hearty tang that froze one side of your tongue, it was the Italians that first introduced the tomato sauce to dear old England. As the Englishman became more and more keen on this particular sauce the Italians had to grow more and more tomatoes. Then came the Second World War and the because the Italians were fighting on the wrong side England refused to accept any more of their tomato sauce. We'll grow our own they said. Grow for England was the slogan. The English weather did little to help them accomplish their goal.
Meanwhile in Italy war or no war they were still growing their tomatoes. Tons of them. Until there was such a haul of them that something had to be done. Meetings were held all over Italy as tomatoes were left in huge piles in the shops and rotted on the vine. Things were getting desperate, the Italians would have to find a way of using those bloody tomatoes! Enter the saviors of the day - the Soveriegn Order of Monte Cristo. The director that year happened to have 45 tomato farms and the rings were taking up every shed, and speed bedroom, heck they were even under his own bed and in all 27 loos in his very large house.
After a great deal of thought he realized he must find a way to get the Italian people to eat huge amounts of tomato sauce. Yes you've guessed it. He can up with the Pizza! And now to crown it all he has the English eating them too.
The tomato sauce was actually a new introduction to the Englishman's fare. HP sauce was the first sauce produced and it had a good hearty tang that froze one side of your tongue, it was the Italians that first introduced the tomato sauce to dear old England. As the Englishman became more and more keen on this particular sauce the Italians had to grow more and more tomatoes. Then came the Second World War and the because the Italians were fighting on the wrong side England refused to accept any more of their tomato sauce. We'll grow our own they said. Grow for England was the slogan. The English weather did little to help them accomplish their goal.
Meanwhile in Italy war or no war they were still growing their tomatoes. Tons of them. Until there was such a haul of them that something had to be done. Meetings were held all over Italy as tomatoes were left in huge piles in the shops and rotted on the vine. Things were getting desperate, the Italians would have to find a way of using those bloody tomatoes! Enter the saviors of the day - the Soveriegn Order of Monte Cristo. The director that year happened to have 45 tomato farms and the rings were taking up every shed, and speed bedroom, heck they were even under his own bed and in all 27 loos in his very large house.
After a great deal of thought he realized he must find a way to get the Italian people to eat huge amounts of tomato sauce. Yes you've guessed it. He can up with the Pizza! And now to crown it all he has the English eating them too.
August 18, 2014
Stories of the Order - Horse racing
Sammy Bell wanted to join the order for a few years. He knew a few people in the order and thought that he could enhance their esteem if they would let him enter their ranks. However the Order was giving him the cold shoulder and no matter how much he passed out brown envelopes (usually used by the Irish for bribing positions) he could make no impression on them at all. What he didn't know was that it was Sammy's name that was the problem.
You see the order was full of only the most precious fellows and with a name like Sammy they were not going to lower their standards. Eventually Sammy discovered what the problem was. It was his wife actually that first unearthed Sammy's persona non grata situation. She herself hated the name Sammy and always insisted on calling her husband Samuel. It was in the fishmongers one day that the truth came out. She was talking to Leonora Upton wife of Clarence Upton about her husband Samuel and how he had just purchased the finest steep in Europe. Two things happened to advance Sammy's cause. Firstly Mrs. Leonra Upton mentioned that the name Samuel was much more acceptable to the Order and she wondered why Sammy's wife hadn't thought of it before now.
The other was that Leonora every the proud show off mentioned that her husband, head of the local branch of the order had himself just purchased the best horse in Europe. Lenora was sure that Sammy's horse must be inferior. When Sammy heard the tale he was furious. Round he went straight away to the overbearing Clarence Upton to take issue with him - not about as you might think about his name being unwelcome in the higher ranks of the order. No Sammy was very angry that Clarence would consider his horse better than Sammy’s.
Anyway between the gigs and the reels (Irish saying meaning a lot of talk and goings on in which people discuss stuff, usually over a drink or tea and scone) they decided to pit one horse against the other. Sammy bet that his horse could outrun Clarence’s horse and if he did they would have to accept the superior owner to the order. They decided to race the horses on Thursday. On Friday Sammy was accepted in the Dublin branch of the order. This was the beginning of an annual event that the order never really got the credit and recognition for.
You see the order was full of only the most precious fellows and with a name like Sammy they were not going to lower their standards. Eventually Sammy discovered what the problem was. It was his wife actually that first unearthed Sammy's persona non grata situation. She herself hated the name Sammy and always insisted on calling her husband Samuel. It was in the fishmongers one day that the truth came out. She was talking to Leonora Upton wife of Clarence Upton about her husband Samuel and how he had just purchased the finest steep in Europe. Two things happened to advance Sammy's cause. Firstly Mrs. Leonra Upton mentioned that the name Samuel was much more acceptable to the Order and she wondered why Sammy's wife hadn't thought of it before now.
The other was that Leonora every the proud show off mentioned that her husband, head of the local branch of the order had himself just purchased the best horse in Europe. Lenora was sure that Sammy's horse must be inferior. When Sammy heard the tale he was furious. Round he went straight away to the overbearing Clarence Upton to take issue with him - not about as you might think about his name being unwelcome in the higher ranks of the order. No Sammy was very angry that Clarence would consider his horse better than Sammy’s.
Anyway between the gigs and the reels (Irish saying meaning a lot of talk and goings on in which people discuss stuff, usually over a drink or tea and scone) they decided to pit one horse against the other. Sammy bet that his horse could outrun Clarence’s horse and if he did they would have to accept the superior owner to the order. They decided to race the horses on Thursday. On Friday Sammy was accepted in the Dublin branch of the order. This was the beginning of an annual event that the order never really got the credit and recognition for.
August 15, 2014
Stories of the Order - Demons
Over the last few years it has been reported by the media on a number of occasions the new phenomenon of sink holes appearing in the earth’s crust. One poor man and his bed disappeared into the abyss never to be seen again in the United States of America. A young lass in England came out one morning and began to cry because her car had been swallowed up by their driveway. Apparently the driveway had acquired an insatiable appetite for metal. Their rubbish bin had gone missing the week before. Now this was child's play to what happened next.
In Russia a vast chasm opened up in the earth and when the people gathered around to gaze into its unending depths they could hear howling and cursing and swearing and terrible lamenting. Some even heard the hashing of teeth (of bible origin). HELL. There I've said it. It was the opening to hell. At least that's what the Russians said. You can experience this awful terrifying experience for yourself on YouTube where they have for posterity posted the actual sound of the unfortunate souls languishing in HELL (actually I think it sounds more like an underground railways station myself). But the order did not agree with me.
Apparently they had inside information that HELL exists and it had just opened - in Russia of all places. Now they had a big, big problem. Telling Russia that they were the proud owners of the gate to HELL would not go down well and could in fact start World War III. This had to be handled with discernment. The problem was exacerbated when people began to report that malignant black contorted animals were crawling up out of the huge hole in the ground. Putin was called to have a look and decided that they were good communists and should therefore be helped as much as possible to spread across the earth.
What better way to defeat your enemies than to hound them with invisible demons. The order was now very worried. They realized they would be able to close that hole with a well-placed rocket. All of Russia filmed the rocket as it crossed the sky - the world watched on the nightly news and for days and weeks on YouTube the mysterious rocket shooting across the Russian sky. No one knew the order had arranged this peaceful way of closing hell and stopping them from taking over.
In Russia a vast chasm opened up in the earth and when the people gathered around to gaze into its unending depths they could hear howling and cursing and swearing and terrible lamenting. Some even heard the hashing of teeth (of bible origin). HELL. There I've said it. It was the opening to hell. At least that's what the Russians said. You can experience this awful terrifying experience for yourself on YouTube where they have for posterity posted the actual sound of the unfortunate souls languishing in HELL (actually I think it sounds more like an underground railways station myself). But the order did not agree with me.
Apparently they had inside information that HELL exists and it had just opened - in Russia of all places. Now they had a big, big problem. Telling Russia that they were the proud owners of the gate to HELL would not go down well and could in fact start World War III. This had to be handled with discernment. The problem was exacerbated when people began to report that malignant black contorted animals were crawling up out of the huge hole in the ground. Putin was called to have a look and decided that they were good communists and should therefore be helped as much as possible to spread across the earth.
What better way to defeat your enemies than to hound them with invisible demons. The order was now very worried. They realized they would be able to close that hole with a well-placed rocket. All of Russia filmed the rocket as it crossed the sky - the world watched on the nightly news and for days and weeks on YouTube the mysterious rocket shooting across the Russian sky. No one knew the order had arranged this peaceful way of closing hell and stopping them from taking over.
August 14, 2014
Stories of the Order - Medusa
Perseus was one of the founding members, human anyway, of the order and had managed to gather quite a few strong hero-like figures around him. The order was growing and was looked up to by the local people. Perseus had grand hopes for the extension of the order into all parts of the world and with this in mind he canvassed all the towns and villages in Greece to be considered their champion and protector. Soon he had a sizable army and they would travel all over the country sorting out problems and bringing to justice any criminal activity. Greece was a happy place to be.
The order flourished and it looked like it might well expand over all the earth. Then one day when the order were traveling along the sea shore Perseus realized that he had forgotten to take along a spare set of undies. Embarrassed he doubled back without telling any of his comrades. Well lo and behold while he was away, out of this sea comes this Medusa character. As ugly as sin and having an extremely bad hair day she was a formidable enemy.
The long and the short of it was they were all massacred. Not one was left. Perseus returned to the beach and found the order extinct except for himself. People began to gather on the beach and mumbling under their breath that Perseus must have ran away and that he was a coward. Perseus was too ashamed to reveal the real reason he had been absent when the attack took place. Persues, as is well documented in history traveled to the United Emirates and got himself new members of the order, filling them with revenge for their comrades at the hands or should I say the hair of Medusa. So although Perseus gets the credit for the killing of this brute ugly woman he had a lot of help from the order.
The order flourished and it looked like it might well expand over all the earth. Then one day when the order were traveling along the sea shore Perseus realized that he had forgotten to take along a spare set of undies. Embarrassed he doubled back without telling any of his comrades. Well lo and behold while he was away, out of this sea comes this Medusa character. As ugly as sin and having an extremely bad hair day she was a formidable enemy.
The long and the short of it was they were all massacred. Not one was left. Perseus returned to the beach and found the order extinct except for himself. People began to gather on the beach and mumbling under their breath that Perseus must have ran away and that he was a coward. Perseus was too ashamed to reveal the real reason he had been absent when the attack took place. Persues, as is well documented in history traveled to the United Emirates and got himself new members of the order, filling them with revenge for their comrades at the hands or should I say the hair of Medusa. So although Perseus gets the credit for the killing of this brute ugly woman he had a lot of help from the order.
August 12, 2014
Giveaways of the Order - School Spirit
The order feels all humans should get the best when it comes to school. At some point humans can only get smarter, right? So the order decided to join in on this great school spirit giveaway. Lots to win for big kids and small ones to!
Hosted by:
and
A Lucky Ladybug, Mama C's Secrets to Savings, Tyrneathem, Monica's Rants, Raves, and Reviews
Co-Hosted by:
Holy Ghost Writer, Susie Q-pons and Giveaways and Bullock's Buzz
Welcome to an event celebrating all things school related from supplies and gear to sports pride and activities/events and more. This includes getting ready for the first day for pre-schoolers through dorm room and college prep!
GRAND PRIZECollege/High School Prize Package ($300 Value): School Lockers - Kids LockerDormco - $25 Gift CertificatePersonal Planner - Planner of ChoiceThree by Three - Stainless Sort It Out WAFF - Combo Set in LargeUdderly Smooth - Cream Package
Middle School Prize Package Enter HERE ($270 Value): Planet Box - Rover Complete SetYum Earth - (2) Gummy Snacks PacksThinkFun - Robot Turtles GameFunkins - Cloth NapkinsFun Physics Toys - Physics: Simple Machines, Science Experiments On the Go, Math Perplexors Basic LevelWinning Moves - Transformers Wild Card Game, Monopoly, Twister, and Rubik's The Void Smart Lab Toys - Smartphone Science and Solar System Adventure
Elementary/PreK Prize Package Enter HERE ($270 Value): Kidecals - Mega SetSurprise Ride - Monthly BoxTeach My - Learning KitRock n' Learn - DVD of choiceFunBites - Funbites of choiceThe Homework Caddy - Homework Caddy of choiceThe Learning Journey International - Mathematics BotStartwrite - Windows Version 6.0ColorTime - "Recycle" Tote Bag w/ 3 Fabric Markers
This giveaway is open to the Continental US only (because of shipping costs) and will end on August 27th, 2014.Entry-Form
Hosted by:
and
A Lucky Ladybug, Mama C's Secrets to Savings, Tyrneathem, Monica's Rants, Raves, and Reviews
Co-Hosted by:
Holy Ghost Writer, Susie Q-pons and Giveaways and Bullock's Buzz
Welcome to an event celebrating all things school related from supplies and gear to sports pride and activities/events and more. This includes getting ready for the first day for pre-schoolers through dorm room and college prep!
GRAND PRIZECollege/High School Prize Package ($300 Value): School Lockers - Kids LockerDormco - $25 Gift CertificatePersonal Planner - Planner of ChoiceThree by Three - Stainless Sort It Out WAFF - Combo Set in LargeUdderly Smooth - Cream Package
Middle School Prize Package Enter HERE ($270 Value): Planet Box - Rover Complete SetYum Earth - (2) Gummy Snacks PacksThinkFun - Robot Turtles GameFunkins - Cloth NapkinsFun Physics Toys - Physics: Simple Machines, Science Experiments On the Go, Math Perplexors Basic LevelWinning Moves - Transformers Wild Card Game, Monopoly, Twister, and Rubik's The Void Smart Lab Toys - Smartphone Science and Solar System Adventure
Elementary/PreK Prize Package Enter HERE ($270 Value): Kidecals - Mega SetSurprise Ride - Monthly BoxTeach My - Learning KitRock n' Learn - DVD of choiceFunBites - Funbites of choiceThe Homework Caddy - Homework Caddy of choiceThe Learning Journey International - Mathematics BotStartwrite - Windows Version 6.0ColorTime - "Recycle" Tote Bag w/ 3 Fabric Markers
This giveaway is open to the Continental US only (because of shipping costs) and will end on August 27th, 2014.Entry-Form
Stories of The Order - Comic Books
The need to create a good outlet for people to use their imagination has always been there. This is why the order decided to come up with a cost effective way to entertain people, one that they could pretty much take anywhere and enjoy reading in any location. The stories that have come up ever since the very first publications are actually all inspired in some way by events that happen within the ranks of the order.
There are obviously a lot of fantastic stories and super powers that are not real, but this really helps to add even more stimulation to the imagination of the people that read them. The purpose of this has clearly worked because the new generations that have read comics since childhood are extremely creative minds that have already joined the ranks of the order. We plan to continue recruiting those who have the most powerful imaginations.
There are obviously a lot of fantastic stories and super powers that are not real, but this really helps to add even more stimulation to the imagination of the people that read them. The purpose of this has clearly worked because the new generations that have read comics since childhood are extremely creative minds that have already joined the ranks of the order. We plan to continue recruiting those who have the most powerful imaginations.
August 11, 2014
Stories of The Order - Grammar
It has come to the attention of the order that we have not been speaking properly when telling stories to the feeble human mind, in some cases. Grammar Nazis, a definition for those with a clenched rectal mass, have bombarded the order with questions.
What humans and other beings must realize is the language of the order is so far beyond human comprehension that it must be dumbed down a lot. So some things get lost in translation along the way. English, Spanish, Dutch, whatever language you humans have supposedly made up through out the years, does not hold a candle to the language used by the order. We can't even say its name in any language that you will understand.
The only member of the order that has been successful at conversing with the feeble human mind has been the Holy Ghost Writer in their many works. The order does not know how, but it seems the Holy Ghost Writer understands the feeble human mind. So the next time a grammar mistake is seen in our stories know we try to stoop down to mankind's level, it is just an impossible task sometimes.
What humans and other beings must realize is the language of the order is so far beyond human comprehension that it must be dumbed down a lot. So some things get lost in translation along the way. English, Spanish, Dutch, whatever language you humans have supposedly made up through out the years, does not hold a candle to the language used by the order. We can't even say its name in any language that you will understand.
The only member of the order that has been successful at conversing with the feeble human mind has been the Holy Ghost Writer in their many works. The order does not know how, but it seems the Holy Ghost Writer understands the feeble human mind. So the next time a grammar mistake is seen in our stories know we try to stoop down to mankind's level, it is just an impossible task sometimes.
August 8, 2014
Stories of The Order - Time Travel
Time traveling was become a very serious problem and the order new this. The situation had to be stopped and the future of humanity depended on it. Irresponsible time traveling created more than 4 scenarios of apocalyptic proportions. The biggest problem with time travel is that there I no way to know when there will be success in coming back from the past or the future. The one thing that we can safely say is that we have shut down all time travel activities until further notice.
We have the greatest minds studying the traveling in order to make it possible to travel without affecting the past or future by creating an invisible traveler that is not going to have any impact on the environment or the actions of others. The slightest changes can turn into the biggest problems and that is why time travel has been banned until this is fixed.
We have the greatest minds studying the traveling in order to make it possible to travel without affecting the past or future by creating an invisible traveler that is not going to have any impact on the environment or the actions of others. The slightest changes can turn into the biggest problems and that is why time travel has been banned until this is fixed.
August 7, 2014
Stories of The Order - Technology
Have you seen the latest gadgets that are coming out lately? The robots, the glasses, the bendable smart phones, etc. There is no question that technology has been moving forward more much more aggressively now than ever before. We are living in a completely different world now and the technological advances are occurring way too fast, which indicates to us that we need to stop releasing so much due to how dangerous it is for people to be able to work with technology that they can’t handle. It has started to be used for more criminal activity than good.
We will probably wait a few years to unveil newer technology and at least a couple of decades for the truly hardcore breakthroughs that would probably be used in a terrible way if they came out today. There are inventions that you wouldn’t even imagine and you have never even seen in Sci-Fi.
We will probably wait a few years to unveil newer technology and at least a couple of decades for the truly hardcore breakthroughs that would probably be used in a terrible way if they came out today. There are inventions that you wouldn’t even imagine and you have never even seen in Sci-Fi.
August 6, 2014
Stories of the Order - Holy Grail
The Holy Grail is real and the order had to remove it to a safe location due to how many governments and warlords wanted to have it in their possession. The truth is that this grail holds a power that goes beyond the paranormal and this is the reason why the order made sure that it was concealed and placed in completely safety. The security of the grail is so tight that you wouldn’t even be able to know for sure if you had found the real one.
There are a total of 10 replicas of the Holy Grail and they are all hidden in safes that are protected with extreme security. All of this investment had to be done in order to ensure that the real grail is never found and ends up in the wrong hands. There have been numerous attempts made by quite a few groups of highly skilled criminals and government agents, but we assure you that even James Bond would fail to retrieve the actual grail from the location it has been taken to.
There are a total of 10 replicas of the Holy Grail and they are all hidden in safes that are protected with extreme security. All of this investment had to be done in order to ensure that the real grail is never found and ends up in the wrong hands. There have been numerous attempts made by quite a few groups of highly skilled criminals and government agents, but we assure you that even James Bond would fail to retrieve the actual grail from the location it has been taken to.
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