Dave Barry's Blog, page 92

THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH

Couple Caught Having Intercourse on Disneyland Ride

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

WHY THE RATTLESNAKE WAS DELIVERING A PACKAGE WE'LL NEVER KNOW

A FedEx driver took a homeowner's gardening tools and killed a rattlesnake while delivering a package

(Thanks to EricY)

WE THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA

Police ticketed a man who was walking the Coney Island boardwalk with a wallaby, which they confiscated

(Thanks to EricY)

The wallaby was released after producing a valid Florida driver's license. 

IMAGINE TRYING TO EXPLAIN THIS HEADLINE TO SOMEBODY FROM 1980

���Snail-Fluencer��� Educates 180,000 TikTok Followers

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

UPDATE ON THE INTERNATIONAL CRIME WAVE BEING PERPETRATED BY FAT MASK-WEARING SQUIRRELS

Thirsty Raccoons Are Breaking Into Homes in Germany, and Specifically Stealing Beer

(Thanks to Alkali Bill)

AND IN SPORTS

...this.

(Thanks to Ralph)

WHEN HE TELLS YOU TO FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT, FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT

United Airlines Pilot Accused of Attacking Parking Barrier With Ax

(Thanks to Rick Day)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Man arrested after jumping off Eiffel Tower with a parachute

(Thanks to The Perts)

'WITHIN TWO TO THREE YEARS'

Aska Resurrects the Promise of a Flying Car

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

SIGH

Meet the St. Petersburg woman who rescues baby squirrels at Squirrelly AF

(Thanks to Keith in Tampa)