Dave Barry's Blog, page 4000

SOMEBODY HAS TO DO IT

Friends exchange 217,000 texts in a month (Thanks to Anil Haji)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Now they're using sparrows. Also Quaker parrots. (Thanks to DavCat)

A SIMPLE 'CANCEL MY SUBSCRIPTION' WOULD HAVE SUFFICED

Live shark left outside newspaper office (Thanks to Allen at Division, Siouxie, Horace LaBadie and Cynthia)

UH-OH

A giant radioactive space blob. (Thanks to Mr. Ridley Pearson, Siouxie and Dr. Doug)

A LITTLE HORN-TOOTING BANJO-STRUMMING FOR A FORTHCOMING EVENT

On May 11 I'm going to be interviewing Mr. Steve Martin about his new banjo album, The Crow, at an event to benefit the Los Angeles Public Library. Here's the info, which I believe is accurate, except the part about...

THIS JUST IN

There's definitely a cat up my tree, or something.

HERO LINGERIE

Bra deflects bullet aimed at woman (Thanks to RussellMc and Wizzy)

TIMES HAVE CHANGED

Ads for products to help you gain weight fast. (Thanks to Kaffy)

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER OF THE YEAR SO FAR

The note read, "This little turd was on the floor in my room." (Thanks to B'game)

MOVE OVER, SUSAN BOYLE

You're blocking the view. (Thanks to Dr. Doug)