Dave Barry's Blog, page 3924

TIME-SAVING FACT OF THE DAY

You cannot use cooking spray to take a goat out of a tree. (Thanks to DavCat)

FAIR WARNING

Insp Goddard said any hooning behaviour during the weekend's races would not be tolerated. "Anyone caught hooning will automatically have their vehicles impounded," he said. (Thanks to Allen at Division)

NOW THEY'RE USING TURTLES

(Thanks to Horace)

AND THIS LITTLE PIGGY...

A family have thought of a novel way to find their dog by trying to lure him home with their urine. (Thanks to Shelley Acoca)

UPDATE

Now we're in Madrid, where they fight bulls, which are angry animals because they are forced to wear skirts.

TRAVEL UPDATE

Here's where you ask your brief questions.

YOU KNOW HOW, WHEN YOU MOVE, YOU DISCOVER INTERESTING THINGS IN YOUR DRAWERS AND CLOSETS?

Well, sometimes "interesting" is the wrong word, but... (Thanks to the drawers of former Herald research goddess, Liz Donovan) (Note: Open the link with some sort of mp3 player; it might hang up your browser)

IS THIS WHAT IS KNOWN AS HIDING YOUR LIGHT UNDER A BUSHEL?

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

AND THE SHEDDIE GOES TO...

The winner not only gets the title of Shed of the Year 2009 but also wins a year's supply of cheese from the Cheeseshed.com, a £50 voucher from Wyevale Garden Centres, a unique shed cushion and a wind-up Trevor Bayliss...

WE HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS

"The animal's stomach had turned the fruit to alcohol and the badger was, to put it crudely, drunk as a skunk," said a police statement on Wednesday. "In addition, the badger was suffering from diarrhoea studded with cherry stones." (Thanks...