Dave Barry's Blog, page 18

OR NOT

First-ever breast milk-favored ice cream now available nationwide and going viral ��� and you can score a scoop for free

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

AND IN SPORTS

Members of the Seattle Kraken hockey team were fly fishing in Alaska when their mascot, Buoy the sea troll, was charged by a grizzly bear.

(Thanks to John Lobert and Not My Usual Alias)

THE REV. MANNY MAYO

A Giant Tub of Mayonnaise Married My Friends

(Thanks to Annette)

NOW I NEED ANOTHER HOBBY

Ingersoll Rand (IR) Expands Life Sciences Portfolio with Acquisition of Dave Barry Plastics

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "You obviously watched 'The Graduate.'")

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

People are putting watermelons on their vacuums

(Thanks to Ralph)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER ETC.

Florida deputy wrangles gator from pool ��� then buckles it up in back seat of cruiser

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE SAW TORRENT OF COCKROACHES OPEN FOR THE CRICKETS

Ceiling collapse in an NYC woman���s home brings a horrifying torrent of cockroaches: ���I don���t know how I���m ever going to sleep there���

(Thanks to EricY, who says "I did contracting for many years; I've seen worse.")

WE APPLAUD THIS LAW

A new set of driving laws has imposed stricter restrictions on drivers in Louisiana - including penalties for left-lane drivers traveling at one mph under the speed limit.

(Thanks to Ron Wylie)

DON'T MAKE ANY LONG-TERM PLANS

Earth is running out of oxygen sooner than expected as NASA sets date for 'end of life

(Thanks to Ron Wylie, who says "Damn, and I just sent my mortgage payment.")

THE RAINBOW BRIDGE, BUT WITH A WILDCAT ON THE OTHER SIDE

Denmark zoo asks people to donate their small pets as food for captive predators

(Thanks to Charles Cates, Not My Usual Alias and Doug in Sacramento)