Dave Barry's Blog, page 133

CSI: OHIO

Hair popping out of trunk prompts 911 call.

(Thanks to MOTW)

ASTEROID MEASUREMENT-UNIT UPDATE

An asteroid larger than ten buses aligned end to end is currently on an interstellar journey, with Earth being its next point of interest.

(Thanks to The Fourth George)

'WAITER, I ASKED FOR RARE, BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS'

Escaped bull runs into steakhouse in Pakistan

(Thanks to Ralph)

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

YouTuber Creates 8-Foot Fully Functional iPhone

(Thanks to Ralph)

OF COURSE YOU HAVE

Have you been pooping wrong your whole life?

(Thanks to Michael Parry)

THEY SHOULD NOT BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS

Minnesota Man Jailed Following Skittles Assault

(Thanks to Al Barkafski and Michael Parry)

WE'RE ON OUR WAY

Everyone in South Korea Is About to Get One or Two Years Younger

(Thanks to Steve K.)

FLORIDAAAAAAAA

A Florida man will not face charges after emptying the magazine of his AR-15 in his backyard at his pool cleaner who he thought was a man trying to break into his home, a sheriff said.

Markspersonship: Almost a minute after the cleaner ran from the pool deck, as seen on video footage shared by the sheriff���s office, the man emptied the magazine of his rifle into the backyard, shooting a total of 30 rounds in about 90 seconds. ���Only the first two rounds were fired when (the cleaner) was on the pool deck,��� the sheriff said, ���the remaining rounds, he was actually gone.���

(Thanks to Robert Moats and EricY)

HALLELUJAH

'Free Nipples' activists in Spain are celebrating after public swimming pools were ordered to allow women to go topless.

(Thanks to Michael Moyer, who says "a protest I can get in front of.")

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

At last, marshmallows from a spray can

(Thanks to Chuck, who says "We were promised flying cars and jetpacks, but maybe it���s time to settle.")