Dave Barry's Blog, page 127

NEW JERSEY HAS ETHICS RULES?

The New Jersey court system alleges a judge broke ethics rules when he, in a suit and tie, in his chambers with law books lining his shelves, stared into a camera and lip-synced the words: "All my life, I've been waiting for somebody to whoop my ass.���

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE'VE BEEN BOOKED ON *PLANES* THAT TURNED OUT TO BE NOT REAL

Woman demands to exit plane in Texas after seeing passenger who was 'not real'

(Thanks to Steve K.)

IT WAS HUNTING FOR A FROG

Doctors flabbergasted after finding octopus in patient���s throat

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "Always the last place you look.")

SOUTH FLORIDA FISHING REPORT

On Sunday, boaters found 87 pounds of hashish in the ocean south of the Middle Keys city of Marathon, said Adam Hoffner, division chief for U.S. Customs and Border Protection���s Miami sector. The same day, in roughly the same area, another boater found a load containing about 62 pounds of cocaine, Hoffner said.

CSI II: POLK COUNTY, FLORIDAAAAA

A Polk County man recently mistook some bird poop on his car for white paint and called deputies to report the ���crime,��� according to the Polk County Sheriff���s Office.

(Thanks to Ralph)

CSI: FOREST PARK

Burglar breaks into kitchen, steals bananas

(Thanks to Tom Meerschaert)

BOLO

3 water buffaloes roamed through an east Charlotte neighborhood. Only two came back.

We Thought This Was America: The owner was issued a citation since it is illegal to own water buffaloes in Charlotte, according to city law.

(Thanks to EricY)

AND IN TENNIS

Wimbledon���s quiet room should not be used for sex, couples warned

(Thanks to Annette)

BECAUSE YOU NEED MORE THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT

The terrifying reason you MUST go for a pee before getting in the car

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

AND IN SPORTS

The 500-foot-long race takes strength, speed and stamina, where racers like Cam will be pushing an outhouse with some friends while a teammate sits inside.

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)