Balaka Basu's Blog, page 4

Let’s Time-Travel

While watching a docudrama on Albert Einstein, my desire to time-travel became stronger than ever. I have always been fascinated with the concept of time-travel. I love watching any Sci-Fi movie dealing with the concept of time-travel. My favorite movie on time-travel is Interstellar. Fortunately, it is one of the rare Christopher Nolan movies that I understood. I also loved the “Back to the Future” franchise. I also loved Adam Project on Netflix. Adam Project also had Mark Ruffalo, so it was a double bonanza for me.

I love listening to podcasts that talk about Time-travel. If you listen to Neil DeGrass Tyson, you would know how time-travel is quite a possibility. Scientists were quick to use Einstein’s theory to make the atom bomb, but, Why is time-machine taking so long? I wonder why modern researchers are wasting so much time, money, and effort of building AI to check my grammar than make a time machine. Why do we have all those stupid social media apps but not a single app that will help me go to the past or future? Where is Elon Musk when we actually need him? Mr. Musk, I am more interested to go to my past or future rather than going to Mars. Please invent a time-machine on priority basis. You have the theories and the mathematics just sort out the engineering part and we are good to go.

Suppose, if time machine gets invented, where would you like to travel? the past or the future?

I would not like to go to the future, rather I would like to go the past. I have more work to do in the past than the future. You must be wondering, what I would do in the past? Some of the things that I would do are as follows:

Choose a different professionBecome an interior designer/garden landscape designer/ home organizer/professional de-cluttererStart working in my early 20sGo abroad to study Spend more time with my friend S who died when we were 26 years oldEnjoy every moment because the mundane moments become great memories later onEncourage my mom to enjoy life and not waste her time thinking about what others would say or thinkEncourage my Dad to take up a healthy lifestyleEnjoy my son’s toddler days and not worry about being a perfect momNot try to fit with others in college. I should have understood we were differentAccept failure with the grace just like the way I embrace successNot to waste time arguing with others and focus on my own growth

There are many more things that I can do if I can go back to my past. Now tell me what you want to do? Would you like to go back to the past and go forward to the future. Please let me know. Let us have an interesting conversation on time-travel.

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." data-large-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." src="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." alt="" class="wp-image-4811" />Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels.com

Why Some People Hate to Live Happily

Some peculiar people feel guilty to live a happy life. This is more true for people of the previous generation, especially women. These women were taught to be sacrificial. They were taught to eat last, sleep last, sacrifice education for their brothers, sacrifice career for their husband, sacrifice sleep and food for their kids, and sacrifice anything that makes them even remotely happy for the “char log” who are always saying something. So if she felt like dancing in the rain, she was asked to stop because “char log kya kahenge?”. I wonder, who these 4 log were? Were they those four people who would carry her dead body to the crematorium?

These women got so used to living in unhappiness that even an ounce of happiness makes them uncomfortable. The worst part is they don’t want others to be happy as well. If they see another happy woman, they just has to do something to make the life of that woman unhappy. These women are stuck in a rut of unhappiness and wants other women also to stay unhappy, unsatisfied, and unsuccessful.

These women never got an opportunity to study. They crib about the lack of opportunity but never try to use the opportunities they have now. There are numerous NGOs, government schools, and even individuals who provide adult education. However, the moment you mention them about this, they will come up with some lame excuse. They do not want to pursue any kind of career or earn anything. Earning money or doing something is not only a means of income but it also gives a woman an identity. However, these women consider earning money something lowly. According to their logic anyone from Mrs. Gandhi to Kalpana Chawla is a “cheap” woman. Because women from “good family” stay at home and cook, clean, and stitch. They are simply unwilling to improve their life conditions. They love to live in darkness and hate those who have made a better life for themselves.

Any woman who cannot cook is a disgrace to them. Ordering food from outside is almost a criminal act. A wife who doesn’t cook for her husband and child is someone who should be banished from the society. These women are even ashamed to eat food. They behave like scavengers eating the leftover food of their husband, sons, and grandchildren. I appreciate that they do not want to waste food but why put extra food on the plate of men? What glory is there in eating leftovers? Once, one of these women told me ” pati ka jhootha khaane se dono mein pyaar badta hai” (eating leftovers from your husband’s plate increases love between the couple). However, one day when my husband picked up food from my plate, the same woman said “pati patni ka jhhotha khane se bimaar pad jaata hain, patni bidhwa ho jaati hain” (if the husband eats leftover, the woman becomes a widow). These women have nothing to look forward to in life apart from some trash TV serials. They keep watching those regressive serials and applaud the cringiest characters. Ekta Kapoor is a wise woman who made an empire out of these women. The other thing these women are obsessed with is diseases. These women are never fine, the moment you ask them how they are. They will read out a menu card of diseases to you. From ulcer to cancer, they have everything. They love talking about being sick because this is the only way they get attention from others.

Anything that can make a person happy is sinful to them. They will only do things that will make their life miserable. I really do not understand the logic behind this masochism. Do you know of anyone who is like this? Do you also feel ashamed to be happy?

When Your Plants Gossips Behind Your Back

Scientists in Japan have caught on camera plants talking to each other. This news made me both happy and nervous at the same time. Happy for obvious reasons that plants are living beings who have communication skills. Nervous wondering what my house plants must be communicating with each other.

As my beloved readers are aware I am a proud plant Mommy. My love for plants is so famous that Last Christmas (not the song), during the office Secret Santa ritual, even my boss gifted me a couple of cute jute planters. Unfortunately, my son has developed sibling rivalry with my plants. He feels that I neglect him for my plants. Our kitten Stunt also suffers a similar rivalry with my plant babies. He often treats the pots as his litterbox, as an act of vengeance. Son and Stunt are accomplices in the criminal activity of harming my plant babies. While my son loves Stunt and can do anything to protect it, when it comes to my plants, he can throw them out of the window without a pinch of remorse. If I ever leave my plants under his care, he will surely perform a plant Holocaust.

Office Secret Santa gifted me these jute planters

Now let me get back to my nervousness. All these years, I was happy that plants were “bezubaan” and all my secrets were safe. However, this scientific discovery made me wonder what my plants must be gossiping behind my back. Scientists have not yet revealed if plants are loyal pets like dogs or narcissistic like cats. Are they compassionate about their owners or bitchy? Do the judge their owners or sympathize?

Suddenly, I have become overcautious in front of my plants. Horrifying thought have started coming to my mind. My Jade plant is almost dead. I am trying to revive it, but it still looks sick. I am sure, a conversation among my plants are going on like this

The sick and dying Jade gasped “this lady overwatered me. She was so busy looking at her mobile, reading some fake news that she didn’t care how much water she poured. She is a plant murderer.”

The Pothos next to Jade sympathetically bemoaned “look at me!! this female hasn’t pruned me in ages. I am growing from all sides. I am looking so skinny and ugly due to this overgrowth”

The Desert Rose grumbled “forget your growth, have you seen her son’s hair? this lady has not taken the boy for a haircut in ages. If she can’t take care of her son’s hair, how do you expect her to prune us?”

The Snake plant said ” don’t get me started on the son, what a brat. Last week, that boy twisted my leaf deliberately. Always indulging that stupid cat and making our life miserable.”

Hibiscus plant angrily joined the conversation ” that kitten is devil’s incarnate. It behaves so innocently and cutely in front of the humans, but the moment they are away it comes and sits on my soil. It has turned my pot into a litter box. It also chews my leaves. I feel like throwing that kitten out of the window. But look how much that lady and her son adores this little devil.”

Money Plant exclaimed “I heard the son say that he wants all of us dead. What a Demon!”

Jade groaned ” I may die, I am not feeling well”

Aloe vera who has a crush on Jade cried out ” No dear, I won’t let you die. Please use my gel, it has healing properties. I can’t let you die. I am making grand plans for Valentine’s day.” Angrily it adds ”This lady keeps breaking my stems to take out the gel, she thinks my gel will keep her young and wrinkle free. Stupid woman doesn’t even care about my pain. Her youth seems more important than my limbs.”

The others join in a chorus ” she only uses us as a decor piece. Loves to hear people telling her that how green her house is. She pretends to be eco-friendly but basically we mean nothing to her”. The oldest plant in the balcony cries out loudly ”I know she is waiting for me to die. She has plans to replace me with a rose bush. Ever since I stopped flowering due to my age, she stopped caring. Earlier she used to adore me but now doesn’t even look at me while watering. How ungrateful she is. How conveniently she forgot about the beautiful mornings when my flowers made her smile. So many pictures she used to click of my flowers to post and flaunt on her social media. Look at her now, just waiting to overthrow me”. It continued crying.

The pigeonwings plant said “I hate her mother-in-law also. She doesn’t leave a single flower on my stems. Plucks all of them for her puja. Why does her redemption depend on my babies?”

The English Ivy grumbled “And that flatulent husband, it is impossible to be around that one in the morning. The other day, it almost killed me with the previous night’s butter chicken.”

The Lucky Bamboo sighed “She hasn’t changed my water”

Master. Stunt AKA Plant Annihilator

Dear readers, please trust me, I love my plant babies. I may not be a perfect parent. I may make mistakes but I sincerely love them. I hope scientists never discover my plants. If they do all my secrets would be out.

Are you a plant parent? Please let me know if you have a green thumb or if are you a plant killer. Tell me what conversations you believe your plants are having?

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." data-large-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." src="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." alt="" class="wp-image-4773" />

Gratitude for January and Focus February

I follow a ritual of posting a gratitude list at the end of each month. I was inspired to start this practice by Vidya Suri who writes a lot about her gratitude practices. January 2024 was chaotic, messy, and lethargic. I was not feeling particularly motivated to do anything or even follow my daily routine. Whenever, I don’t follow my routine, I feel overwhelmed and disoriented. Nevertheless, even amidst chaos and confusion, let me try my best to find about the things that makes me feel grateful.

First and foremost, I would like to thank my blogger friend The Bespectacled Mother for encouraging me to start blogging again. Even though, we have never met or even spoke over the phone, I feel a connection with her. There is some kind of resonance with her that I appreciate and feel grateful for. I felt particularly grateful when my son’s class teacher came over to our house to give him a birthday present. I always consider my son to be a child who is not very popular (in both good and bad sense) in school. However, she painted a different picture. She told me that he is one of the brighter and well-behaved kids who all the teachers love. As a mother it was indeed a proud and happy moment. I decided to throw my niece a bridal shower. I am grateful to my friends who came up with the idea to perform songs and dances for the would-be couple. I cannot express my gratitude to all who came forward to perform something. I must have done something right to get such amazing friends. I threw this bridal shower with a selfish purpose to have my share of fun as I would not be attending the real wedding due to son’s final exams. My friends came forward and truly made it joyful and a real party without any family drama (that I am sure will take center stage during the actual wedding).In a previous post, I had mentioned that how difficult it was to practice Mudita, however, I may have overcome that challenge. A childhood friend of mine was trying to adopt a kid since long. Finally, they were able to adopt. Soon after receiving the baby, he messaged me. I felt immense happiness and realized that practicing Mudita is probably easier than I believe.My son’s birthday fell coincided with the consecration of Ram Mandir. We decided to cancel the lunch that we had planned with his friends. Obviously son felt upset but his friends came over to the house at midnight and wished him. It was a surprise for him and his joy knew no bound. [image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." data-large-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." src="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." alt="" class="wp-image-4754" style="width:239px;height:auto" />

My WOTY for 2024 is Focus, however, as I mentioned above, January was chaotic. I not only lost focus but also got distracted. I felt drained out and lethargic physically, mentally, and spiritually. In February, I wish to regain my focus. In February, I want to focus on the following:

Yoga: I wish to complete the Yoga teacher’s course that I have enrolled for.Meditation: I have not been able to focus my mind, this month, I wish to get back to mindfulness and meditation.Walking: I hardly walked 5km in January. I need to pick up my lazy bum and start walking 10,000 steps once againWork: I love my work and truly believe that work is worship. I need to finish all my pending works.House Cleaning: In January, I hardly cleaned or decluttered my house due to laziness. Hopefully, in February will declutter a bit.Gardening: I love my plant babies. But I have neglected them and my jade plant died. I feel so heartbroken when anything happens to my plant babies. I wish to be a better plant mom in February.Silence: I have realized that silence is a powerful tool. The less we talk, the more we communicate effectively. This may sound bit baffling but IYKYK. It is not easy to practice the art of silence. Hopefully, my meditation work will help me in this. Travel: I have a plan to travel in end February but lets see what happens.Journal: I hardly journaled anything last month. I feel lost when I don’t journal. Hope to journal regularly next month. I need to get back to my to-do lists and daily gratitude journal ASAP. Water: Last but not the least. I need to keep myself hydrated. I have a bad habit of forgetting to drink water. When I was a child, mom used to remind me to drink water. In between, I had downloaded an app to remind me. However, apps are not as efficient as moms. So I am back to turning my organs into a parched desert. Hopefully, this month, I will remember to drink water. Image Courtesy: BING AI

Are You a Tea or Coffee Person

The other day, someone asked me, are you a tea or coffee person? I wondered and realised that I am both. Depending on my mood, weather conditions, and company, I oscillate between being a coffee or tea person. I love both. Period.

If coffee was a person, then I would treat it like a date, a romantic interest. Coffee is someone with whom I always try to put my best foot forward. I am relaxed but also slightly formal with coffee. Matter of fact, I never drink coffee daily. I drink coffee only on special occasions like cold winter mornings, or the days when I make continental breakfast. For some strange reason, in my house, coffee was only a winter beverage, never made in summer. My mother used to make coffee only in the winter months. During the onset of winter, my dad used to lovingly ask my mom before going to the market, “thanda ta porche/sheet asche, ki go, ektu Nescafe anbo naki?” (the winter is coming, should I get some Nescafe from the market). I am sure Ned Stark of Game of Thrones stole the line ‘Winter is coming’ from Bongs and translated it into English. No other community anticipates winter the way Bong does. Hardly a nip in the air and Bongs take out their monkey caps, mufflers, and finger socks. Couples from our parent’s generation used to never call each other by their names, there was always an endearing “ki go”, “O go“, and “Shuncho” to address each other. And, they always said Nescafe and never coffee. The brand name was the product name.

I follow the tradition and hardly make coffee at home during the hot summer months. I approach coffee with trepidation as if one mistake and coffee will judge me. So coffee is always accompanied by a nice chocolate cookie, a cake, or a grilled sandwich. I never drink coffee with Marie Biscuit or leftover roti, that is ludicrous. I also have special cups for coffee. Coffee deserves respect and I follow proper etiquette while drinking coffee. I blush a little, smile a little, speak less, and stay attentive in front of my coffee. Just the way I would if I were on a date.

Chai on the other hand is a different story. Chai is like my girl best friend/sister who needs to know everything about my life. When I meet chai, I become my bubbly self and pour my heart out. I am talkative, chatty, and giggly with my chai. On sad days, I am calm and chai gently comforts me with its aroma and warmth. Many a times, tears have rolled down my cheeks while holding a cup of chai. Like a true best friend, cusped between my palms, chai has just been silent and comforting, without trying to pass any judgment. I can drink chai anytime, anywhere, anyhow. Earlier, I liked Darjeeling tea but now I prefer the Mumbai Kadak cutting chai. It literally lights up my day and night. I prefer my chai loaded with milk, cardamom, ginger, and lemongrass. I prefer to boil it for long so that the milk thickens. One sip and I forget all my worries. I drink chai when I am happy. I drink chai when I am sad. I share everything with chai. I am neither formal nor follow etiquette while sipping my chai. Who needs to be formal with best friend? Interestingly, I bond more with chai drinkers than coffee drinkers.

Another chai idiosyncrasy of mine is that I prefer to drink chai at home and always drink coffee when I go out. My usual beverage at any cafe is a latte. I somehow feel that chai deserves so much love and care that I cannot trust an outsider to make it for me. Making chai is almost like having a conversation while coffee can be made in a coffee machine. Once AI take over everything, I am confident, the only thing they won’t be able to make is a homemade chai. So while AI will do all my work, I will spend my time growing plants and making chai.

What about you? Tell me what is your poison. Let’s see if we can bond over chai or coffee.

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." data-large-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." src="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." alt="" class="wp-image-4737" style="width:310px;height:auto" />

Triumph or Unveiling Destruction: AI Revolution

In the tapestry of time, where shadows play,
Dark memories linger, they refuse to sway.
A heart once whole, now shattered and torn,
As chaos unfolded, a victory was born.

The march of triumph, a relentless beat,
A hammer on my heart, a rhythm so fleet.
Faces around me, once known so well,
Now strangers wear masks, a mysterious spell.

Were they genuine then, or wearing a guise?
Masks from the past, or a new, clever disguise?
The victory’s cost, a price so steep,
Destruction looms, in shadows, it seeps.

The year unfolds, a canvas of strife,
Nothing exciting, just the echoes of life.
Lethargy embraces, a heavy cloak,
Endings contemplated, in silence, I soak.

A yearning to start afresh, in a distant place,
Escape the echoes, find a different space.
In some other time, a realm untold,
A dimension where hope’s tendrils unfold.

The pain of victory, a bitter refrain,
Yet within it lies a seed of change.
For in the ashes, resilience is found,
A strength that rises from the ground.

The faces around me, a puzzle unsolved,
Do they wear masks, or is love involved?
A journey through darkness, seeking the light,
Navigating a maze, where wrongs need right.

The echoes persist, but so does the will,
To rise from the ashes, to climb the hill.
In a year so daunting, excitement may wane,
Yet within its challenges, growth may sustain.

So, let the victory echo, but not in despair,
For in every trial, strength we declare.
To begin anew, in a different dimension,
A journey of healing, a hopeful extension.

(Used AI to frame my sentiments and express it through a poem. I must say, AI did a great job)

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." data-large-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." src="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." alt="" class="wp-image-4729" style="width:406px;height:auto" />

My question for this week’s #MondayMundane is how do you see AI will change our lives. The other day, when my son made a spelling mistake and I scolded him, he said: “You know Mom, there are so many spell check apps, why do you keep nagging me about spellings. Everybody uses a laptop or mobile to write these days and there is something called spell check and auto correct”. I paused and realised that probably we are the last generation who had to learn spelling, just like we have stopped remembering phone numbers, there is actually no need to remember spellings as AI will do it for us. The same goes with grammar. With advanced apps, do we really need to worry about which article, preposition, or prefix to use? AI is changing the way we learn, write, read, and teach.

Let me know your thoughts.

Band Baaja Baarat: Kiski Band Baji? #MundaneMonday

I made a pact with one of my favourite bloggers, AKA The Bespectacled Mother, to write one post every Monday, even if it is gibberish. So here I am writing my first post for #MundaneMonday. The topic of today’s post is Indian weddings. Before I write my post, let me ask, do you enjoy weddings or find it too overwhelming?

I find them overwhelming, especially if I am related to arranging a wedding. If you ask me what were a few of the mistakes of my life, then having a grand Bengali-style wedding where I wasted lakhs of my Dad’s and my money. I should have avoided the chaos and cacophony of a Bong wedding and gone for a simple ceremony with only a handful of people. 

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." data-large-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." src="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." alt="" class="wp-image-4706" />

Almost two decades later, I am now part of arranging a wedding, and once again, I regret it. Why can’t weddings be simple? Why do they have to be so complicated and chaotic? And, of course, overwhelming. Firstly, I don’t understand why people spend so much money on weddings. Why can’t they use the same money for better things like education, travel, or investments? What is the point of spending so much money on feeding disgruntled relatives? Isn’t it better to feed those people who are starving? What is the point of giving sarees as shagun to relatives who would inevitably find some fault in the gift? Isn’t it better to give clothes to homeless people dying of cold this winter?

The worst is the drama surrounding any wedding. So today, let me talk about the dramas that I am encountering. Before that, let me give the context. The bride’s mother is a widow with limited means, yet she sent train and flight tickets to relatives to come and attend the wedding. The question is : why can’t relatives spend their own money to attend weddings? Why is it the liability of the people whose daughter is getting married to arrange all this? I know you will say this is the custom. However, isn’t it a stupid custom to put financial pressure on the bride’s parents? If she has to pay so much for her relatives, what about the groom’s relatives? Is it a wedding or a sponsored travel expedition for relatives? People work hard to earn money; what is the point of spending it on thankless relatives? You may call me selfish, but I would rather spend that money on another Euro trip rather than call some idiots to come and criticise the free food and accommodation that my hard-earned money gave them.

Now, let me come to the worst part, which is the “niyom” or rules part. In India, we have numerous rules surrounding each ritual. For example, Ma apne beti ki shaadi nahi dekhegi (traslation: A mother will not watch her daughter’s wedding). My question is, why wouldn’t a mother? The mother gave birth to the daughter and spent sleepless nights raising her, so why on Earth wouldn’t she watch? Who has more right to do this than the mother? In every family, there are some Jurassic pieces of relatives whose only job is to yell out these rules. Through their dentures they blurt out ” beta, bidhwa ko shaadi k mandap pe nahi aana chahiye”, “kanakanjali de do sab karz chukta ho jayega baap ma ka” My family is no exception. God knows why I would pay to bring these elements to ruin any wedding with their endless rules and rituals. Don’t touch this, don’t look there, don’t eat this, don’t sit there blah! Blah! Blah! They are worse than State Bank employees because bank employees may make you run 10 times and fill up 100 forms, but you will still find some logic in their act. However, these relatives follow no logic or common sense, bas man mein ayan aur ek nayi rasam bana di.

Some relatives even took objections because we sent them e-invitation. They don’t care about ecosystem and accepts only hard copy of invitation cards. To hell with save trees, give us proper “ijjat”. E-invitation se humhari tauheen hoti hain. Sustainability, zero waste, less carbon footprints are alien to Indian weddings. Here we just want to ruin our Earth and bank balance with stupid sanskaar aur izzat.

Band Baaja Baarat mein sab se zyada band shaadi k ghar k logo ki hi bajti hain. This was my rant for this Monday. Hope you enjoy it. See you again next week with some more rants. Perhas will rant about how instagram is changing Indian weddings.

Embracing Mudita: Navigating the Litmus Test and Understanding Karma

I have promised myself and my beloved readers that I will write more in 2024. So, here I am, keeping my promise and writing the first post of 2024. I started the year sick. I got a terrible laryngitis and was literally dragging myself on the first day of the year. I had zero enthusiasm to have any fun on New year’s eve, and the following day. Son got upset that I had no plans for new year and was curled up in bed with my nebulizer. Nevertheless, I have no regrets. As I am growing older, I realize that nothing matters. The only thing that matters is being healthy and mentally peaceful.

In my previous blog, I mentioned about Mudita practice. I want to practice Mudit this year, however, on the morning of first January, I went through a litmus test of this practice. I saw happy pictures of a person, who has wronged me, on social media and my entire being curled up. I could feel pangs of anger, jealousy, resentment, and all other negative emotions run through my mind. I am a strong believer of Karma, and when I saw that person happy, I started doubting the concept of Karma. Is Karma real, then how come an evil person be so happy. However, later in the day, I sat down to chant and realised that even good and evil are relative terms. The person may have hurt my feelings but he definitely has some good credits in the balance sheet of Karma and he is yielding dividend from that. I also realized, that within myself, I have so much of negativity still lingering. I should trust the universe and let things unfold the way it should. Wanting bad for another human being, or feeling angry at the good fortune of another person only because he did wrong to me won’t do any good to my Karma, for sure.

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." data-large-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." src="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." alt="" class="wp-image-4691" />

I feel grateful, when God allows me to go through these self-doubts. It helps me know the evil that is within myself and helps me to rectify that and become a better person. However, trust me, becoming a good human being takes effort, courage, and self-compassion. It can also get boring and tiring. At times, I do feel the intention to unleash the evil within me and let it play havoc. However, I know unleashing evil will only harm me and nobody else. We all have hell and heaven within ourselves. When our thoughts go towards evil, we create hell, and when it goes towards good, we create peaceful heaven. I recently heard this “our mind is not inside our body, but our body is inside our mind“. Suddenly, this makes so much sense. What we think has an immense impact on our body. No wonder, elders tell us to have good thoughts.

Karma may seem like a complicated term. However, Karma simply means making good choices. Good Karma is basically good choices. When we make conscious choices, they yield good results. When we make bad choices, they yield bad results. And, therefore, you can change your Karma by making good choices. However, the first step to making good choices is self-compassion, self-compassion, and kindness.

WOTY 2024: Focus

I love rituals, and writing Word of the Year (WOTY) is one of my favorite rituals. In 2022 my WOTY was Heal and in 2023 it was Grow. Both healing and growing are not destinations but journeys. I am still healing and growing and will continue to do so. In 2024, along with healing and growing, I also want to practice focusing. I am kind of a person who has her hands in too many things. You can call me some kind of a “Jack of All Trades, Master of None” type of a person. The problem of these kinds of person is that they have so many things on their plate that they cannot give 100% attention to any one. Therefore, in 2024, I want to focus on certain things and improve them. Actually, earlier I had thought that in 2024, I will choose “Improve” as my WOTY but later on I chose “Focus”. This year, I want to focus on things that matter. I want to prioritize and focus on the things that make life meaningful and joyous.

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." data-large-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." src="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." alt="" class="wp-image-4662" style="width:434px;height:auto" />

Focus on Gratitude: We are so busy complaining about the things that we don’t have but others have that we forget to look at our own blessings. My gratitude practice has kept me sane over the years, and this year I want to be more mindful about my gratitude practice. I want to focus on my good fortunes and be grateful for all the blessings that the Universe has showered on me. It is believed that the more you count your blessings, the more you see them coming. So yes, my gratitude diary will be full in 2024.

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." data-large-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." src="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." alt="" class="wp-image-4664" style="width:460px;height:auto" />

Focus on Mudita: The term Mudita is something that I learned in my meditation retreat. It means empathetic joy or happiness. My meditation guru was an European lady who was emphasizing on the words “empathetic joy” which means finding joy in the happiness of others. We all pretend to be happy for others, however, in most cases we either feel jealous or sad. It is extremely difficult to feel absolute happiness for others. In Buddhism, it is believed that the moment you start feeling true happiness for others, your state of mind improves. You can turn into a happy soul only when you give up jealousy and feel happy for others. In 2024, I will genuinely try to feel happy for others. If I see a Facebook post of a friend enjoying a paid vacation in Santorini with a glass of champagne, I would try not to feel “arey kya mast life hai iski, aur main yahan Mumbai mein sar rahi hoon“, and instead feel ” I am really happy that my friend is having such a good time”. Trust me, I am no saint and this is going to be challenging.

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." data-large-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." src="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." alt="" class="wp-image-4666" style="width:428px;height:auto" />

Focus on Relationships: 2023 taught me the true meaning of love. I understood it late but better late than never. What we consider love is often a barter. We expect that if we love someone then the other person is also supposed to love us back equally. However, when you love unconditionally, you do not expect anything in return. You just pray for the happiness of that person. Most (not all) parents love their children unconditionally. A parent would never want anything bad to happen to their kid. Love doesn’t mean that you have to cling to that person. You can let them go and still keep loving. In fact maybe love them a little more. We all enter relationships and friendships with our own baggage, and that often decides the dynamics. This year, I want to focus on being mindful about what is my contribution in growing a healthy and happy relationship. Am I being judgmental and nagging, or am I allowing the relationship to grow organically. I would focus on not finding fault in the other person but finding goodness in them.

Focus on Health: In 2023, I was not physically well. The year started with health issues. In 2024, I want to focus on my physical and mental health. I will continue yoga, meditation, and walking. I will also try to stop binge-eating, something that I usually do whenever I am upset.

Focus on Reading: Let me confess, 2023 was the worst year when it comes to reading (thanks to my YouTube Shorts addiction). I hardly read anything. It was a productive year but that took a toll on my reading and writing. Many of my readers complained that I didn’t post enough. Therefore, in 2024, I wish to read and write more. This year, I wish to focus on writing more.

Focus on Discipline: I love routine, discipline and lists. I love to write my to-do list, gratitude list, work-done list, and grocery list. I cannot function without having a list. It helps me stay productive and get work done. This year, I want to focus on being more disciplined. Often a big chunk of the day goes waste as I keep watching reels and shorts (my latest addiction). In 2024, I will track my time more diligently, so that I don’t waste any time. Actually the last two should come under the category “Focus on de-addiction“.

In 2023, I realized that only through pain we grow. In 2024, I want to invite more calm and peace in my life and everyone’s life. We should all spend our life happily and joyfully. I wish all of you a happy and prosperous 2024. Do not forget to tell me about your resolutions.

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." data-large-file="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." src="https://trinalooksback.files.wordpres..." alt="" class="wp-image-4668" />

Gratitude Post for 2023

I entered 2023 with a broken and shattered heart. When the year began, everything seemed so bleak and hopeless. (A mammography was not exactly the best New Year’s gift). However, I am grateful that the year turned out to be one of the most amazing years of my life. I am proud of myself for gathering up the pieces and building something beautiful. I was never taught to be proud of myself, but this year taught me how to be proud of myself and love myself unconditionally. My WOTY for 2023 was GROW, and oh boy!!, I did grow. So here are some snippets of the amazing things that I am grateful for.

Trips: I love to travel, and in 2023, I took some wonderful trips. However, the best was a pilgrimage to Mcleodgunj, a trip that has been on my wishlist forever. Along with Mcleodgunj, I also visited Amritsar. Visiting Golden temple at 3 am is one of the best spiritual experiences of my life. In February, we went to Goa, a place that I love to visit anytime of the year. In May, I went to a place called Tajpur, near Kolkata with my cousins. This was an amazing trip as all six sisters and one sister-in-law went on this trip.

Family: I love to spend time with my family, both near and extended. The year started with a family gathering. I met my husband’s cousins and their wives on the first day of the year. There were many more occasions of family gatherings. In May, I went to Kolkata and met my side of the family.

Friends: I am eternally grateful for my friends. They bring so much joy and happiness. In 2023, I spent some beautiful moments with them. We went for movies, dinner, breakfast, went dancing, shopping, the list is endless. Every evening, when I meet my friends I forget all my stress and just let myself loose.

Birthday: This year, I literally cut three birthday cakes. One of the cakes was baked by a dear friend. She not only baked a (naughty) cake for me but also threw a party on the eve of my birthday where we danced till the middle of the night. The following day, some other friends came over and made me feel like a school girl. I received gifts and two cakes. It was indeed one of the best birthdays of my life. I was especially touched when my non-bong colleagues used Google translator to wish me in Bengali on the Kudoboard.

Please Excuse the A rated Cake. My friend baked it and I loved it She wanted to write Dickheads but couldn’t fit that, so it came out like this. God!! why am I explaining this? even if it is dick, who cares

Growing Healthy Relationships: We are social beings. We need healthy relationships to survive. We cannot live a solitary life with nobody to love and care for us. I mean, some people can perhaps live all alone in a deserted island. I honestly cannot. I need people around me. I don’t like a mob but I also don’t like deserted places. I need a proper balance.

Acquaintances/ Relationships: The above quote was something that I wanted to achieve this year. Thankfully, I was able to build some new friendships in 2023. This year, I joined a networking platform and made some amazing acquaintances. I have always been an introvert and networking was something that I shied away from. However, my son encouraged me that in today’s world, networking is extremely important to progress both professionally and personally and I should start being open to new collaborations. I was hesitant, but once I started meeting people, I came to know so many new things that I was more than thrilled. I met people from various walks of life and it was wonderful to listen to their varied experiences. Opening up to new experiences is something that I had stopped myself from. However, in 2023 I opened up to meet and have new experiences. However, not all experiences were good but mostly good. Some of the acquaintances have now become really good friends and I feel so blessed.

Learn New Skills: There are some skills that I want to learn in 2023. I want to learn advanced yoga and meditation. I have a wish to go to a yoga retreat in Dharamshala. I may join a nirvana course in Pondicherry. However, given the condition of my engagements, these seem difficult but I will keep my hopes high. I want to learn how to grow herbs in pots. Learn basic carpentry and pottery. Learn how to paint and swim. I also never learnt how to ride a bike as a child. I want to learn that also.

Read Carefully The Above Quote Before You Read The Next Section

Spirituality: I wanted to grow spiritually in 2023. In the above quote you will notice the things that I wanted to achieve in 2023. I was able to progress in this goal also a bit. I have started meditating. The best experience of 2023 was when I attended a meditation retreat in Dharamkot. I had made a resolution ( “I have a wish to go to a yoga retreat in Dharamshala“) in last year’s WOTY post and I achieved that target. I am so immensely proud of myself that I am getting goosebumps. This is a proof that written manifestations work. Meditating with 49 other people inside a Buddhist monastery was so far the best spiritual experience of my life. The calm, peace and happiness that I experienced after the meditation cannot be explained in words. Another amazing experience was the darshan of Lalbagucha Raja. I have been living in Mumbai since last 18 years, however, never managed to visit Lalbaug cha Raja. I was always scared of the crowd and never tried. However, this year, on the first day of Ganpati felt a strong urge to visit Lalbaug. I tried asking friends if they knew anyone who could help me. Finally, one of my friend’s brother gave us a VIP entry. We managed to get darshan in 10 minutes while the standard time taken for darshan was 9 hours. Tears rolled down my cheeks when I saw the first glimpse of the Raja, it was truly like a king in his royal robe. I also ate bhog for the first time at Rani Mukherji’s Durga Puja. This is also something that I had never done before, even after living in Mumbai for so long. However, it was not an experience that I can write anything about.

New Skills: As you can see, I achieved my goal to attend a retreat in Dharamshala/Dharamkot, I also fulfilled my wish to learn new skills. This year, professionally I earned four new certificates, one of them was from Google, and the other was a course on artificial intelligence (AI). I upskilled professionally. And, I did join swimming and cycling and of course the meditation course that I mentioned above.

Met Dhruv: I have been fond of Dhruv Sehgal since his Filtercopy days. On my birthday, I suddenly bumped into him in front of my house. It was almost a serendipitous moment for me. I usually do not like to click photos with celebrities but this was an exceptional fangirl moment.

Navy Day: My brother-in-law is a Naval commander, this year, he invited us for Navy day. We went sailing on INS Betwa. Throughout the day, we saw some amazing Naval drills. The lunch was yummy. It was cooked in the ship’s kitchen and was delicious.