Pam Laricchia's Blog, page 38
December 21, 2016
EU051: Deschooling with Luminara King
Luminara King is a former Steiner-Waldorf teacher turned unschooling mom. She’s also the author of Unschooling – 7 Steps to Beginning the Journey and blogs at Living the Education Revolution. This week we have a great chat about her deschooling journey.
Quote of the Week
“I think that, as parents, we have to be very careful because there is a real tendency to jump on any interest they have, and just run away with it.” ~ Luminara King
Questions for Luminara
Can you share with us a bit about you and your family, and how you came to unschooling?
You’ve written a book called, Unschooling – 7 Steps to Beginning the Journey. You have a great chapter about learning and I love how you describe becoming an unschooling parent as training to be a Zen Master. You wrote, “You learn the delicate art of allowing and following the flow of your child’s learning; knowing when to offer up ideas and when to step back.” That stepping back can be hard to figure out as you move to unschooling, can’t it?
You have a fun intro to unschooling video on your website and in it, you mention how Lego was a catalyst in your journey to unschooling. What happened there?
I love your blog post about embracing averageness. I think that’s such a valuable shift that can help us parents shed expectations that we might still carry about who our children “should” become in the future. Because that can interfere with how we see them today, can’t it?
You’ve mentioned you have a college degree. What’s your perspective on college nowadays?
One of the hot topics around unschooling is “screen time.” I put that in quotes because I think the phrase itself is part of the problem. It lumps together so many different activities and part of deschooling is teasing all that out. What has your experience been on this topic?
Recently you published a post on your blog titled, “I’ve had enough of justifying our unschooling life.” And you mention this idea in your book too, in a chapter on dealing with other people’s negative reactions. What are some tips you can share for dealing with those moments?
What has surprised you most about your unschooling journey so far?
Links to Things Mentioned in the Show
Luminara’s ebook: Unschooling: 7 Steps To Beginning The Journey (it’s available in Kindle Unlimited)
Peter Gray’s book, Free to Learn
We Don’t Do That School Thing by Jessica Robinson
Ken Robinson’s TED Talks: Do schools kill creativity?, Bring on the learning revolution!, Changing education paradigms
Pam’s blog posts about unschooling and extended family: Enjoying Visits with Extended Family, Supporting Our Kids’ Relationships with Their Relatives, When Negative Relatives Won’t Let Go
Carlo Ricci’s episode, including our chat around the idea that “children are capable”: Unschooling as Alternative Education with Carlo Ricci
Episode Transcript
December 14, 2016
EU050: Choosing Unschooling with Roberto and Emily Lujano
Roberto and Emily Lujano are unschooling their three children. Roberto approached me earlier this year about translating my book, Free to Learn, into Spanish. I really enjoyed working with him and wanted to learn more about his family’s unschooling experience.
Quote of the Week
“You are not trusting the process and you are not trusting your kids, but also, I realized it is because I do not trust myself and I never have.” ~ Emily Lujano
Questions for Roberto and Emily
Can you share with us a bit about you and your family, and how you came to unschooling?
I’d love to hear what your kids are enjoying at the moment. What are they interested in and how are the pursuing it?
How did you build trust in the process of unschooling?
What has been the most challenging aspect of moving to unschooling for you?
You recently translated my book, Free to Learn, into Spanish. You’ve also translated Teresa Graham Brett’s book, Parenting For Social Change. What inspired you to begin translating books?
What I’ve found incredibly interesting about the translation process, with French and Spanish now out and Hungarian soon to be published, is that it’s not just about translating the book word for word, but about translating the ideas. For example, translating an idea from English to Spanish may use different words entirely, a process I’ve seen referred to as language localization. Can you share an example?
I love the fluid nature of how we make income to support our unschooling lives. It can change over the years to meet our personal and family needs as they evolve. You left your job a couple of years ago to spend more time with your family. Can you share a bit about how you made that choice and how you managed the transition?
Recently you’ve chosen to return to full-time work, and you guys are moving to another state for your new job. What has that transition been like?
Links to Things Mentioned in the Show
Roberto’s Facebook page: Roberto Lujano
Episode Transcript
December 7, 2016
EU049: Unschooling and Travel with Stuart Norman
Stuart Norman, his wife Sue, and their daughter Annabel were unschooling in the UK when they first had the idea to travel. They let it evolve in its own way—as he describes it, we “just pointed ourselves in that direction of travel and nothing else came along that got in the way of that.” They sold their possessions and their home and about nine months ago they were off.
Quote of the Week
“What if instead of asking what your passion or purpose is, we asked different questions? What are you interested in? What are you curious about? What’s fascinating to you? What have you read or seen or heard that you want to know more about? What do you love to do, just because? What are you working toward that you want desperately to achieve for no other reason than that you want it? What if you don’t so much have a passion or purpose as much as you pursue something, or a bunch of things, with passion and a sense of purpose? And what if the deeper you get into that exploration or pursuit and the more competent you become, the more interested you get in doing and learning and discovering on a fiercer, more engaged, dare I say a more “passionate” or “purposeful” way?” ~ Jonathan Fields, How to Live a Good Life
Questions for Stuart
Can you share with us a bit about you and your family, and how you came to unschooling?
First, I’d like to dive into your journey to unschooling a bit. How did you get comfortable with and develop trust in the process of unschooling?
Moving to unschooling often has us questioning so much of what we thought we already knew. What has been the most challenging aspect of unschooling for you?
Now I’d love to dive into your travel experience. How did you guys decide to travel and how did you prepare?
Where are you guys right now, and can you share one of your favourite experiences so far?
I’m sure Annabel is learning so much as you guys travel, both about the places you’ve been, and about herself. What is she interested in right now, and how is she pursuing it?
On Facebook I recently saw someone ask you to comment on an article, and I loved your answer. The article was titled, “It turns out that traveling makes us far happier than any material wealth ever does.” Can you share your perspective?
What tips do you have for unschooling parents who are considering extended travel with their family?
I noticed you recently started a new Facebook page, The Nomadic Coach. Can you tell us a bit about that? I love to hear about how families are supporting their unschooling lives.
Links to Things Mentioned in the Show
Facebook pages: Normans Running Wild and The Nomadic Coach
For the Love of Learning episode #47: Attachment Parenting with Stuart Norman, Naomi Aldort, and Pam Laricchia
Episode Transcript
November 30, 2016
EU048: A Family of Individuals, Pam’s Conference Talk
I’m happy to share the last of my HSC Adventures in Homeschooling conference talks with you, A Family of Individuals.
In this talk, I focus on family relationships.
In our society family harmony is a prized goal, promising an easygoing peace. It can be elusive, but we see some experienced unschooling families in action and we want that joy. “Why can’t you guys just get along??” Yet focusing on the interactions between family members often invites comparisons and discord—the opposite of harmony. In this talk, Pam shares how, though it may seem counterintuitive at first, fully supporting and celebrating the individuals in the family better fosters a long-term atmosphere of joy and harmony.
I hope you enjoy it!
Links to Things Mentioned in the Show
In Control: Helping a child self-manage a chronic disease, first published in Natural Life Magazine
November 23, 2016
EU047: Q&A Round Table
Anne Ohman and Anna Brown, both veteran unschooling parents, join me to answer listener questions. Click here to submit your own question to the Q&A Round Table!
Quote of the Week
“Unfortunately most people are convinced that when control fails it’s because they didn’t control enough.” ~ Joyce Fetteroll
Listener Questions
Aparajita’s Question
Hi, I have an almost 3 year old son and we’ve been trying to make changes that lead toward radical unschooling. So we have tried to say yes more and let go of the controls we had especially over technology.
My son spends a lot of time on his tablet. I used to find it alarming but I see that he is learning and happy. However I have also read that we need to keep offering interesting experiences and activities (not constantly though) so that there are other things that are “sparkly”. How do I do this? He often refuses to go out/do anything else even when I take out other toys or activities when engaged with his IPad and sometimes feels bad that he missed an outing. I don’t want to force him at all. What can I do?
P.S. I have a 6 month old too so I feel like we stay home a lot more than we would have if it was just him and I am not able to do very long or elaborate outings on weekdays. It’s mostly just the park.
Alexandra’s Question
Hello, thank you again for taking time answering our questions. It is really interesting and useful for parents.
My question is: I usually hear about honesty in the unschooling life philosophy and what about telling children about Santa and the tooth fairy? Should parents be honest with their children or should they lie about all those invented fairy tale characters who bring their children presents and money?
Ashley’s Question
Hello, My husband and I have decided that unschooling is the path we want to take with our two daughters. They are only 2 years and almost 4 years old. We wondered what a ball park figure of money is needed for yearly expenses. For homeschoolers money goes towards curriculum, whereas unschooling comes museum memberships, trips to discover new things, art supplies, etc. What would be a good base budget for things like that per year of unschooling?
Aparajita’s Second Question
My husband and I have been deschooling for about 2 months now and we have a 3 year old. This question is about food.
He loves chocolate and ice cream but we did restrict these items previously. So once we discovered radical unschooling, we decided to try saying yes more. The problem is that then he prefers to eat mostly sweet foods. A few weeks back it was ice cream. For several days he wanted only ice cream for all his meals. We got a big tub of it and would serve it without reproach. He slowly started eating a few more things but now he’s going through a phase where he only wants chocolate chips. It’s 1pm here and he’s only had 2 bowls of chocolate chips today.
I’m trying not to show any disapproval and go with it, while also offering other stuff. I put out monkey platters, take food to him as he plays, bake different sweet treats but he is reluctant to try new stuff and honestly just prefers his store bought treats.
I’m worried. Will he ever eat properly again? Or is he only going to crave different types of sweets? It’s also making me angry because we spend so much time making meals, snacks, buying different packaged snacks that we think he may like but most get rejected. I even say “ok have the chocolate but what else will you have?” And the answer is nothing.
Help!!!
Maria’s Question
Hi. I am a mom to 3 kids, ages 16, 14 & 12. My oldest daughter chooses to go to school and is a junior in high school. We are in our sixth year of unschooling with my two sons. They both had very traumatic school experiences. Both were asked to leave the public school system due to disruptive behavior and were placed in a BOCES program, a school for kids with emotional and learning difficulties.
When we learned of unschooling, and decided to take that path, my oldest was finishing up third grade and my youngest was finishing his second year of first grade. Being that their school years were so traumatic, I understood they needed a lot of time to heal from all of the scarring school had left them with. We are into our sixth year of our unschooling journey, and we are all much happier and connected.
My question is about writing.
Both of my boys spend the majority of their time on electronic devices, and are quite fluent with texting and typing. My younger son at 12, has just started reading, not strongly, but it’s coming slowly. He really struggles with writing though. Whenever the opportunity to write comes up, say he needs to write his name on something, he struggles, gets embarrassed and gets upset with himself for being “Stupid”. I’ve tried to explain to him that kids who are in school are forced to write all day long, and that it’s just practice that makes you good at something. I started leaving a notebook on the table with the month and date written out every day, with a pencil next to it, in case he wants to practice writing. And, he often does.
It’s not a lot, but I figured it would at least put a pencil in his hand and get him used to it. His handwriting doesn’t seem to be improving at all and he is getting frustrated with himself. I’ve read a lot about reading coming naturally when kids are ready, but I haven’t heard much about writing.
In your experience, is writing something that comes naturally as well, or is it something that really takes practice to get comfortable with? I hate to watch him struggle so much and get so down on himself. I’d like to help him any way that I can, but I just don’t know the best way to go about it.
Thank you for your time. I really enjoy listening to the podcast.
Links to things mentioned in the show
Shine with Unschooling list archives
Unschooling on a Budget podcast episode
Kids, Carrots, and Candy: A Practical, Positive Approach to Raising Children Free of Food & Weight Problems
Anne’s conference talk excerpt: I Was His Scribe
Episode Transcript
November 16, 2016
EU046: Growing Up Unschooling with Brenna McBroom
Brenna McBroom is a 27yo grown unschooler. We had a fun conversation and touch on her transition from school, to homeschooling, and eventually to unschooling; finding connections as a teen; how her passion for ceramic art developed; her experience at Not Back to School Camp as both a teen and as staff; her new blog, Millenimalism; and her (and my) experience that young adult unschoolers are generally self-reliant and living intentionally, rather than just following societal expectations.
Quote of the Week
“We are what we repeatedly do.” ~ Aristotle
Questions for Brenna
Can you share with us a bit about you and your family?
What did your family’s move to unschooling look like?
The unschooling lifestyle is a pretty unconventional one, which can sometimes be both awesome and challenging in turn. Can you talk about a challenge you encountered and how you guys worked through it?
How did your passion for ceramic art develop? Can you share that journey and what it looks like today?
The conventional parent-child relationship is often steeped in power and control, but unschooling encourages a different dynamic. Can you share a bit about what was your relationship with your parents was like growing up? And now as an adult?
You recently returned from the Vermont session of Not Back to School Camp, a camp for teen unschoolers. You attended as a teen, and continue to return as part of the staff. Can you share a bit about your experience as a teen camper? What kept you going back?
I saw that this session you ran a project called Deep Dreams: Unearthing, Mapping, and Achieving Your Hidden Ambitions. What drew you to that topic? Can you tell us a bit about how it went?
This year you started a blog called Millenimalism. What was the inspiration behind that?
What stands out for you as you look back on your unschooling years? What, from your perspective now, do you most appreciate about living an unschooling lifestyle growing up?
As a grown unschooler, what piece of advice would you like to share with unschooling parents who are just starting out on this journey?
Links to Things Mentioned in the Show
Brenna’s ceramic art website: Brenna Dee Ceramics
Brenna’s blog: Millenimalism
Episode Transcript
November 9, 2016
EU045: Unschooling on a Budget with Glenna McAulay
Glenna McAulay is an unschooling mom of two daughters, and both she and her husband have a wonderful perspective on living the unschooling lifestyle within their means. We talk about the perspective shifts around money and choices that have helped us over the years, as well as share some ideas for low-cost unschooling.
Quote of the Week
“I think it’s really all about conversation. I mean, we have conversations all the time. We have dad home so much of the time because we’ve chosen that. Now what that means is that we don’t have a huge ton of disposable income, so we have to make the choices of what’s important to our family.” ~ Glenna McAulay
Questions for Glenna
Can you share with us a bit about you and your family, and how you came to unschooling?
I always love to hear what the kids are up to. What things are they interested in and how are they pursuing their interest?
Unschooling families are choosing a different kind of lifestyle, one in which they prioritize spending time with their children. What that looks like can vary widely: maybe they’re living on one income, maybe they’re a single parent, maybe they work-at-home etc. What does come with that, is often a lower family income. Let’s talk a bit about the challenges of that.
In my experience, when money challenges arise, fear can quickly create tunnel vision. Our minds shout no, no, no, can’t do that, can’t do that, and all of a sudden we feel trapped. Each time, I found I need to actively shift from seeing things through the lens of lack to being open creative possibilities. I didn’t see any possibilities until I moved past the fear. Have you found that kind of shift helpful?
When it comes to conversations with our kids, even with less income it still doesn’t need to be about saying no. For me it’s helped to remember not to use money as the first filter when questions come up, but rather one of the last. Just saying “no” shuts down so much conversation, doesn’t it?
With my kids, sometimes it helped to shift our perspective from consumer to DIYer. As we come to know our kids more deeply, and understand the WHY behind their requests, we can sometimes help satisfy that deeper motivation more quickly. So while we’re maybe saving up for “the thing,” we also continued to play with the possibilities, with other ways to satisfy that curiosity. And sometimes it’s super fun for them to play with ways to make their own versions of things in the meantime. Has that been your experience?
There were a couple of conventional expectations that I needed to work through over the years, One was that “new is better.” Which led me to judge myself as a failure if I couldn’t provide shiny, new things. That’s a pretty prevalent expectation in our society isn’t it?
The other conventional expectation was that as the parent, I needed to personally meet all my children’s needs. That one had me feeling like I was failing too, for a while. Then I realized the things they were wanting to do were about them, not about me. And I could reach out to the local community and the online community to find all sorts of creative ways to help them find what they were looking for. Have you found yourself making that shift too?
I thought it would be fun to finish up by just brainstorming a bunch of low-cost opportunities people might find, in their community and online, to get their juices flowing.
Links to Things Mentioned in the Show
Olive made a coin-operated Lego machine that dispenses Timbits!
Live and learn on organic farms around the world: WOOFing
Chris Guillebeau has a great website about the art of nonconformity and travel hacking
The traveling family Pam mentioned: Normans Running Wild
Facebook group: My unschooler is interested in …
You can check out raspberry pi
Glenna on Facebook
Episode Transcript
November 2, 2016
EU044: Ten Questions with Jennifer Andersen
Jennifer Andersen is an unschooling mom of two and the founder of ourmuddyboots.com and it’s related Facebook page. I had so much fun chatting with her! We talk about how we keep learning, over and over, that learning happens everywhere; triggers that can sneak up on us; the difference between natural and contrived consequences; how unschooling isn’t about having all the answers; her experience at the Free to Be Unschooling Conference, and more.
Quote of the Week
“Moving through that not knowing what to do, to knowing what to do—at least in my experience—was when I got those sweet spot moments of our relationship being so connected and really feeling like I got this unschooling thing. At first, those moments were so few and far between. They were kind of like, for golfers, like that perfect golf shot: they’re elusive, but they increase the more that you practice. That was my experience with moving through that period. I’d get that one moment of: this is it, this is what it is: we’re happy, our relationship is so strong and connected, look at how he or she is flourishing. Then eventually moving beyond that so those moments made up more of our day than less of our day.” ~ Jennifer Andersen
Questions for Jennifer
Can you share with us a bit about you and your family, and how you came to unschooling?
I’d love to hear about what your kids are up to. What are they interested in right now? How are they pursuing it?
As we move to unschooling, we come to see that learning really does happen everywhere. In fact, it seems to be something that we learn over and over. You think you know it, and then a few months or years later, you know it even more deeply. Has that been your experience?
Moving to unschooling is not all about the learning, it’s also about the strong relationships that connect us as a family, which in turn, support that learning. I love how you describe this process: “Changing our family dynamic is a process of learning about who we are, who our children are, and understanding the way we want our family to relate to each other. It is never a step by step protocol to follow. Rather, it is a self examination, and evaluation of whether or not our child, and our family are happy.” And I love your insight that it’s about moving from knowing what not to do, to knowing what to do. Can you share with us some of your thoughts about that process?
Many of us have triggers that sneak up on us and have us almost unknowingly placing expectations on our children. Maybe it’s certain events, like hitting school age, or the teen years, while for others it may be a seasonal thing. You recently wrote a post on your blog about how this happens to you in the fall. Can you share how you’ve learned to recognize and move through it?
Natural consequences is a frequent topic in the parenting world, yet often they are really talking about contrived consequences. How do you see the difference between them?
Unschooling is about living together with our children, not about having all the answers. It’s okay not to know what to do, and in those moments our children get to see how we move through them. That’s really valuable, isn’t it?
You’re founder of the website, ourmuddyboots.com, as well as maintaining an active Facebook page. Can you share how you weave unschooling and your work together?
You’re recently back from speaking and playing at the Free to Be unschooling conference in Arizona. Can you share a bit about your experience?
Looking back now, what, for you so far, has been the most valuable outcome from choosing unschooling?
Links to Things Mentioned in the Show
Our Muddy Boots online: ourmuddyboots.com, Facebook page, Instagram, Twitter
Story / visual novel game development: Story Stylus, Ren’Py, TyranoBuilder
Pam’s blog post: Are You Playing the Role of Mother?
Free to Be Unschooling Conference
Episode Transcript
October 26, 2016
EU043: Q&A Round Table
Anne Ohman and Anna Brown, both veteran unschooling parents, join me to answer listener questions. Click here to submit your own question to the Q&A Round Table!
Quote of the Week
“As we focus on this Mind Movie—the story playing in our heads—we become attached to it and want it to be real, somehow. The problem is that when reality clashes with the story, we get frustrated, upset, bothered, angry, disappointed. These bad feelings can get in the way of our peace of mind and happiness. They can make us behave badly and harm our relationships with others. This mismatch between the story in our heads, our Mind Movie, and reality causes a lot of our problems. The answer is to mindfully turn from the story to the reality of the moment.” ~ Leo Babauta, Zen Habits: Mastering the Art of Change
Listener Questions
Lynn’s Question
Hello! I am mum to four children 5 1/2 and under. My 5 year old should be starting prep next year (Australia) but we have decided to unschool, or essentially just continuing on the path we are already on. We’ve always tried to have a respectful and mindful approach to parenting and our relationships with our children. This has taken a lot of self reflection and work on my part though as I didn’t have this growing up.
Two of my current hurdles at the moment are tied back to relinquishing control. First, is the amount of “things” that come into our home. I am minimalist in the sense that I don’t like to have a lot of stuff in the house. If it’s not used or doesn’t hold special meaning I tend to donate it. The amount of clothes, things etc. I own is very minimal, I feel overwhelmed when there is too much in our home. I like the order and the simplicity when there isn’t too much in the house. It makes it feel a little less chaotic.
I tend to trickle this down to my children. My daughter especially loves to collect things and her room becomes filled with stuff and is often very messy. I try, over and over again to let go, to “allow” more into our, to not care about how messy her room is (it is her room after all), and I succeed at letting go for a bit. However, a rough moment or day arises and I revert back trying to get the control back on how tidy her room is, or how much “stuff” is in the house. How do I reconcile my needs and their needs? I need less to feel less overwhelmed, they need more to discover, explore and learn. We can be different, but how do I meet everyone’s needs?
The second thing I am having a hard time letting go of is around introducing TV, computers, iPads, video games, etc. My husband and I really only watch an hour or so of TV a day after the kids go bed, same with our phones or listening to podcasts, etc.. It is only ever after the kids go to bed. Since they haven’t had much exposure to “screens” they never really ask for it and I have never really had to restrict it… But at the same time they don’t really watch much. A few things here and there like a train show (they love transport) and the recent Olympics. How to do I and should I let more of this in to our home? I guess I also struggle with content. With 4 children so young I suppose I tend to worry about what they would be watching and whether or not limits should be set around that. We watched The Jungle Book as a family movie night a few weeks ago and my 3 1/2 has been terrified of monkeys coming in his room since and my 5 year old asked for it to be turned off after the building collapsed on top of the ape. So I question how much free rein I should give in regards to content. The other noise that comes into play are the studies I have read regards to TV’s “addictive nature,” that most shows are too fast for young children, etc.
Any help, advice, suggestions you have to offer to would be greatly appreciated.
PS I forgot to add that I think part of restricting what comes into the house, in terms of volume, also comes out of the fact that the more there is, the more I have to clean and tidy. The kids help to an extent, but with them being so young, to a large extent, most of it falls on me. As you can imagine, they are still need help with a fair bit. So how do I let go without stretching myself too thin?
Anonymous Question
I started out parenting thinking that we would have very limited use of TV and video games when our kids were young. I sort of built an ideal image in my mind of parenting my young children in a pretty Waldorf type way – we’d do art, play outside for hours, etc. I’ve moved well past most of that as my husband and I are (almost) fully embracing unschooling with our 3 kids (6, 4, and 5 months old).
However, I am having the hardest time deschooling when it comes to TV and video games. It’s like I keep thinking I’ve done it, and then I feel the fear creep back in. My two oldest kids LOVE video games and so does my husband. And I honestly just don’t enjoy them. I try and join them for a bit each day, and love spending time with them, but it’s just not my thing. And I fall into the trap of comparisons – on weekends I see all the neighbor kids outside playing together in the beautiful weather and often my kids are inside on the xbox or computer.
I just can’t get past my own upbringing and the messages from society about video games and sometimes really wonder if I will always believe that other endeavors are more valuable than watching shows and playing video games. I don’t want to feel this way and I want to support what my kids love. Perhaps I’m just missing when they were younger and less interested in this stuff (and also often think that 4 and 6 is still pretty darn young to spend so much time in front of a screen instead of running around and engaging in active play)?
Perhaps I just honestly can’t embrace this aspect of unschooling? Any advice for when these thoughts creep back in and unsettle me and make me question our approach? I truly want to embrace this and to support and feed their interests, but get stuck when their childhood isn’t looking like what I thought the ideal childhood my kids could have would look like. I think I’m driving my husband crazy by using him as my sounding board every time I get worried.
Sarah’s Question
Can you “not do enough” as an unschooling parent and fail your children? Or is it about changing your values and emphasis from education, to joy? I feel like I’m getting good at saying ‘yes’ to the messy and strange things my children want to do but I wonder if there is more strewing I could be doing. At the moment, I feel I don’t strew very much because most of the time my children aren’t interested in the things I suggest or strew, and so it feels like a waste of time.
Michelle’s Question
I have 3 boys ages 12, 16 and 19. We have homeschooled from the beginning – only in reading and math. My 19 year old went to high school for a semester and had a really bad experience – he now thinks he can’t learn anything! We have been moving towards unschooling for 5 years and fully unschooling for two years. A year ago we moved to another state because my husband was laid off. My 19 year old had a lot of friends but really wanted a new start. He keeps in contact via the internet/gaming. Currently all three boys spend all their time at the computer watching movies, playing games, streaming on twitch etc. They do not want to go and do anything outside the house – except maybe to see a movie. I offer them things to do but they are not interested. They do not want to go to homeschool/unschool groups. We had an unschooling conference in our town and no one wanted to go.
I miss my boys. I go to their rooms and ask questions about what they are doing. They will give me some info and I will watch them play, but usually they ask me to leave. Sometimes they seek me out to tell me new developments in their games. This summer I helped my 12 year old build his own computer and now he is streaming on twitch. It seems they come to me for food or looking for clean laundry. I don’t like to leave the house and leave them at home. I leave only to take the dogs for a walk or go to the store. I have been working on being in the moment with each one of them and loving them unconditionally. However, I worry they will never want to go out and do anything.
Celine’s Question
Our kids, 9 and 6 (and a 3 year old) have left school since February 2016. Since then, they have watched a lot of Netflix. They haven’t shown any particular interest in anything. I don’t see them being particularly excited to learn anything. They ask questions, but often don’t even bother to listen the answer or find the answer by themselves, “boring” is the word qualifying the research. So fear is growing in my mind. Are my kids so lazy?? Yesterday my daughter had a birthday party with 5 of her “ex” school friends. They seemed so happy to go to school. We discussed about it and they all said this year was fun, they all have para scholar activities and they all have this energy to learn. So I thought, ” Oh my god! I made a huge mistake! My kids were better off to school! We don’t do so much interesting stuff now.”
Obviously. I feel incompetent. I am afraid to ruin their life. It is like they are happy not to go to school anymore just to be able to do nothing!!!! Maybe I am completely wrong or not. I don’t know anymore!!!! I feel ashamed. I believed I was able to show them, but I am not!
Links to things mentioned in the show
Leo Babauta’s websites: zenhabits.net and unschoolery.com
Anne’s Shine with Unschooling website and I Am What I Am
Episode Transcript
October 19, 2016
EU042: Curious and Engaged, Pam’s Conference Talk
I’m excited to share another one of my conference talks, Curious and Engaged, with you! It may have been through an unfortunate series of events that it happens to be this week, but after all the work I put into developing conference talks, I’m happy to have a way to share the audio version, as it was meant to be presented!
So in this talk, I focus on learning. Specifically, three valuable characteristics of real learning that, when they are at play together, allow it to thrive: engagement, motivation, and time to think. I explore what they look like through the lenses of both the conventional education system and unschooling. And from there, I talk about the day-to-day ways we can live this learning lifestyle with our children.
I hope you enjoy it!
Links to Things Mentioned in the Show
