Pam Laricchia's Blog, page 40

EU031: Ten Questions with Emma Marie Forde

Emma Marie Forde is unschooling mom to two girls, Lily and Rosa. She’s also the founder of the website, rethinkingparenting.co.uk.

Before having children, Emma was a clinical psychologist, a career that informed her choice to stay home with her own children and which eventually led her and her husband John to choose unschooling for their family. Emma shares her attachment parenting perspective throughout our wide-ranging conversation, and gives us a glimpse of unschooling in England!

Quote of the Week

“It was amazing how many of the assumptions that were challenged for me by having my first daughter. The fact that we did breastfeed for longer, the fact that she was with me most of the time—I hadn’t even anticipated how intense it was going to be, even though I kind of had some idea. It’s been being guided by them, but also working in partnership with them.” ~ Emma Marie Forde

Ten Questions for Emma

1. Can you share with us a bit about you and your family, and how you came to unschooling?

2. I’d love to hear more about your children. How do they like to spend their days? What are they interested in right now?

3. When Lily approached school age, was she curious about it? Did she have playmates going off to school? I guess Rosa is approaching that age now too. How have you talked with them about it?

4. Can you share with us a quick overview of what it’s like to unschool in England? What are the legalities? Are there active local communities for making connections?

5. I love the article you posted on your website describing unschooling. I’ll link to it in the show notes for people to read in full because you dive into so many different aspects, and include a detailed reference list, but I’d like to dive into a couple of points with you today. The first is that unschooling isn’t child-led learning, but rather a partnership. Can you explain the difference?

6. I’d also like to dive into trusting our children’s intrinsic motivation to learn. That’s so counter to the conventional belief that children don’t like to learn, that they need to be motivated through grades and rewards. How did that trust develop for you?

7. You also wrote a great article about the benefits of play. Unschooling parents are pretty savvy about children learning through play, but can you talk about some of the benefits of parent and child playing together?

8. How do you see your understanding of psychology and your unschooling lifestyle weaving together?

9. What has been one of the more challenging aspects for you on your unschooling journey to this point?

10. Looking back now, what, for you, has been the most valuable outcome from choosing unschooling?

Links to things mentioned in the show

Emma’s blog: Rethinking Parenting

Emma’s FB discussion group: Radical Unschoolers Discussion Group

The book that introduced Emma to unschooling: The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart by Jan Hunt

Paula Rothermel’s paper, presented at the Annual Conference of the British Educational Research Association, 2002: Home-Education: Aims, Practices and Outcomes

Sue Patterson’s book: Homeschooled Teens

Pam’s review of Sue’s book: http://livingjoyfully.ca/blog/2015/11/book-review-homeschooled-teens/

Sandra Dodd’s page: Public School on Your Own Terms

UK National home ed group: Education Otherwise

Emma’s post: What Is Unschooling?

Sandra Dodd’s page, Building an Unschooling Nest and video

Pam Sorooshian’s post: Unschooling is not “Child-Led Learning”

Meredith Novak’s podcast interview: What Learning Looks Like with Meredith Novak

Emma’s post: The Benefits of Playing With Our Children

Jody Lilley’s podcast episode about play: Playing with Our Children with Jody Lilley

Dr. Allan Schore’s website

Lawrence Cohen’s book: Playful Parenting

Gerard Jones’s book: Killing Monsters

Joyce Fetteroll’s podcast episode: Ten Questions with Joyce Fetteroll

 

EU030: Q&A Round Table

Anne Ohman and Anna Brown, both veteran unschooling parents, join me to answer listener questions. Click here to submit your own question for the Q&A Round Table episodes!

Quote of the Week

“Whenever we are faced with particularly challenging problems, and we’ve certainly had them, I’m SO grateful for unschooling because I feel like it gives us time and space to breathe, the ability to connect, and to focus on what’s important, which is our relationships with each other.” ~ Anna Brown

Listener Questions

1. We took our son (now 9) out of school 2.5 years ago, and are about 6 months into our unschooling journey, after gradually moving from “school at home,” to “relaxed homeschooling,” and finally letting go of the curriculum altogether.

We have been saying yes more often, and are really enjoying the freedom and closeness that unschooling is giving us. The one thing I am struggling with, though, is food. I haven’t yet felt comfortable enough to completely let go. I’m definitely saying yes more often, but I have a fear that stems from my husband’s struggle with weight, which his entire family seem genetically pre-disposed to.

My son has the same body shape as my husband, carrying around the mid-section. I worry about his health, and have read that these are the formative years as far as future weight issues. I don’t want him to have the same struggles as my husband, but I also don’t want to keep making him feel bad for reaching for that extra biscuit or food late at night. I have been trying to help him make the right choices by explaining healthy eating, and if he really wants something then I wont stop him, we all have a sweet tooth, so there’s generally something in the house.

Am I doing the right thing in saying yes, but pointing out the healthier options?? How can I handle this better?

2. I’ve found there are very few published narratives about hard times, yet when I talk with friends, I feel very comforted by hearing they are struggling with similar issues in their parenting and unschooling journey. I’d love to hear more from your guests about their struggles, particularly the mundane, day-to-day-issues. Unschooling can be hard, especially at moments of transition (from school to unschool, deschooling, age transitions, moves from one place to another, the birth of a new baby, etc.) I’d love to hear how others cope!

3. We have been unschooling for awhile, deschooling for awhile even though my kids have never been in public school and our “homeschool” was very relaxed. Our oldest son is 6. We also have a 4 yr old boy, 2.5 yr old girl, and 1 yr old girl. I have a lot of children that all need attention daily, but our oldest boy is the most intense and high-need of them all and has been since birth—we practiced attachment parenting too.

My question is this: How would you recommend that I handle the outbursts that he has frequently? He’ll yell, threaten to hit (although he doesn’t) and scream and it can go on for a long time. I have tried SO many different “parenting techniques” to try to help him calm down and learn what his body is experiencing but some days I just don’t know what to do to help him and it makes the whole house feel miserable.

I too am still deschooling in various ways and allowing more freedom for the children has helped me calm down and my anger has nearly disappeared—which is nice because I handle his negative reactions with much more nurturance. How are we supposed to allow so many options and choices when it just feels like he continually expects more and explodes when he isn’t given everything at the moment he needs it (this includes my time too)? I have three other children that need my time and honestly, they get the least of it which is draining for me and unfair for them.

As a somewhat separate question: In the last few weeks we have left the TV choices up to them—after listening to several of your podcasts that made so much sense-including how much to watch and they are definitely taking it to what feels like an extreme but we are just going with it! I notice that the more shows he watches, the more he uses the iPad etc, the greater his anger. It is a direct correlation and our other children don’t experience the same feelings after any amount of TV or iPad. We try to show him how it affects his mind and body, but it is tunnel vision for him and then we all feel the after affects of his poor choice to watch too much of anything. Any advice is appreciated.

4. Our kids are nearly 7, 5 and 1 and I would love to unschool them but my husband isn’t convinced yet and I have some fears left too. I thought it might be a good idea to “show” him unschooling in action rather than convincing him to read books about it (which he doesn’t want to do). So we were happily enjoying an unschooling lifestyle for the first few weeks of my daughter’s summer break which was easy because the weather was good and we were all relaxed. Everyone loved it, even my husband.

But then some challenges came up, financial worries and stress at work for my husband. We started arguing and discussing things. On top of that our toddler was teething and we didn’t get any sleep at night. I wasn’t able to attend to my kid’s needs as well anymore which caused them to be upset and behave badly. That started a vicious cycle of slipping back into mainstream parenting techniques which made everything worse.

Now it feels like we are back to the beginning and I don’t know how to build up our trusting relationship again which had just started to develop. I’m afraid that I can only be a good unschooling mother as long as things go well and I’m not stressed or worried. How do unschoolers cope with life’s challenges without putting their kid’s needs second?

5. I have 3 small kids 6, 4 & 1.5 and I’ve been radically unschooling for about 9 months. My 6 year old only attended JK part time for 1 year.

I have a couple of questions about how to handle certain situations more gracefully with my 2 older kids. The first is how do I handle supporting them through situations I’m uncomfortable with especially as it relates to animals. Eg. We watched a butterfly cocoon & when it hatched she played with it until it passed. Same with a frog she caught. It makes me really sad to watch these beautiful insects & animals die and I understand she’s learning from the experience however it’s our disagreement in this area that negatively impacts our relationship. Any suggestions on how I can kindly navigate through this exploration with her?

Next, I have a very passionate 6 year old girl. When she believes she’s right she will challenge me. When I attempt to correct her (in the hopes that she’ll learn something from our exchange) she becomes angry & even more firm. Eg. Recently, she argued with me about the details of a particular show or how the butterfly above needs her to give it flying lessons.

I want to be there for her without judgement or fear but these are the areas I get “stuck” in.

6. I’m a mom to three children, ages 16, 14 and 11. We are on our fifth year of unschooling my two younger children, who are both boys. My oldest, who is a girl, chooses to got to school.

Both of my sons had behavior problems in school from day one, and both were asked to leave the public school and were put into the special education programs. We were not aware of unschooling at the time, and didn’t pull them out of school until they had been in the system for a few years. My daughter has had no problems with school and actually tried unschooling for a few months, but decided it wasn’t for her.

Unfortunately, my husband isn’t super supportive of unschooling and often worries aloud how our sons are “spending too much time on the computer,” or “aren’t socializing enough,” or “aren’t learning basic math skills.”

My sons pick up on these mixed messages and sometimes feel as though they are “less than” because they are unschooled.

When we discuss the merit of unschooling vs attending school as a family, I often find myself discussing the negative aspects of school and my daughter gets very upset.

My question is, how can verbally support their unschooling experience without diminishing my daughter’s choice to attend school?

Links to things mentioned in the show

Pam’s blog post: The Road of Trials
The books Anna mentioned around question 3: Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles and The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively
Anna’s podcast episode: Diving Into Parenting with Anna Brown
Teresa’s podcast episode: Ten Questions with Teresa Graham Brett

 

 

 

EU029: What Learning Looks Like with Meredith Novak

Meredith is unschooling mom to Morgan and stepmom to Ray. Meredith has been active online in unschooling groups for years and I’ve enjoyed reading her writing for many of those. In this episode, we chat about what learning looks like with unschooling. It’s a big topic, and big episode. I hope you enjoy it!

Quote of the Week

“It could be said that unschooling has a recipe, but it’s not a recipe about unschooling. It’s a recipe about human nature. About people and relationships.” ~ Meredith Novak

Questions for Meredith

Can you share with us a bit about you and your family, and how you came to unschooling?

The vast majority of unschooling parents come from a school background, me included, so that’s what learning looks like to us when we first start learning about unschooling. So I thought it would be helpful to compare and contrast what learning looks like in the school system and with unschooling. I came up with five aspects to compare that I think will be helpful.

Comparison #1: school’s focus on teaching vs unschooling’s focus on learning

One of the first things people new to unschooling are encouraged to do is to shift their perspective from teaching to learning. Why is this such an important shift when we want to learn about unschooling?

Comparison #2: school’s focus on curriculum vs unschooling’s focus on curiosity

With unschooling, children are encouraged to, and actively supported as, they follow their interests, rather than a set curriculum. What advantages have you seen to learning this way?

One of the concerns people often mention is that there is a general set of knowledge and skills needed to get along in their community and world, and how will they learn them if they’re just doing what they want? How do you answer that one?

Comparison #3: school’s focus on the compulsory school years vs unschooling’s focus on lifelong learning

Unschooling and the concept of lifelong learning weave together so tightly, and leaving behind the idea that childhood is for learning and adulthood is for living can have a profound impact on everyone in an unschooling family, parents included. Have you found that to be true?

Comparison #4: school’s focus on the child to adapting to the classroom environment vs unschooling’s focus on the child’s learning style

What are some of the advantages you see for children who are learning outside the classroom?

Comparison #5: school’s focus on testing vs unschooling’s focus on being with the child

A common question from people trying to wrap their mind around unschooling is: If we aren’t testing them, how do we know they’re learning?

While conventional wisdom tells us that children resist learning and need to motivated to do it, unschooling parents see something very different. Why don’t unschooled kids hate learning?

One of the challenges newer unschooling parents sometimes encounter is interpreting the actions of experienced unschoolers as a set “rules for unschooling.” But unschooling doesn’t have a recipe, does it?

I’d love to talk about choice for a moment. I think one of the key aspects at the root of learning through unschooling is giving our children the space and support to make the choices that they think will work for them. What’s your perspective on the importance of choice?

One theme that has come up pretty regularly on the podcast is that, in the end, unschooling thrives when we have strong, connected, and trusting relationships with our children. You recently wrote something I loved: “It may help to step back from the idea that parenting is a job. It’s a relationship, first and foremost.” Can you expand on that?

Links to things mentioned in the show

FB unschooling groups Meredith participates in: Unschooling Mom2Mom and Radical Unschooling Info

Montaigne’s 1580 essay: On the education of children

Sandra Dodd’s article: To Get More Jokes

podcast episode 20: Unschooling as Alternative Education with Carlo Ricci

 

EU028: Unschooling Worries with Jen Armstrong

Jen is unschooling mom to Joseph, soon to be sixteen. She’s also recently returned to the world of work as a Child Life Specialist. I’ve know Jen for years, having first met her online, and then in person at various unschooling gatherings. I’ve always loved her perspective on the unschooling lifestyle and I had a great time chatting with her about her journey and diving into some of the challenges we have encountered along the way.

Quote of the Week

“The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts. What stands in the way becomes the way.” ~ Marcus Aurelius

Questions for Jen

Can you share with us a bit about you and your family, and how you came to unschooling?

I’d love to hear a bit more about Joseph. What is he interested in right now? How is he pursuing it? When you look back, can you see how that interest developed?

We’re chatting about worries this week, so can you share some of the worries that came up for you as you moved to unschooling?

When we first get started, our children’s days are SO different than the conventional childhood, and while we have enough of an idea about unschooling that we chose to get started, we’re still busy learning so much. We don’t have our own understanding or experience to fall back on when questions and worries bubble up. Some describe this time as feeling like jumping off a cliff. How would you describe that feeling? What did you rely on during that time to help you keep moving forward toward the other side?

When a worry or challenge pops up in our unschooling lives, it can trigger a fight or flight response, or sometimes the urge jump in and fix it immediately. So often these feelings are based in fear and projecting this moment into the future, but that can be hard to recognize in the moment. I’d love to hear your perspective on how you learned to recognize when fears are involved.

Once you’ve recognized that your own fears, worries, or issues are wrapped up in a situation and clouding your perspective, how do you begin to untangle them?

I think most, if not all, unschooling parents have gone through times when they found themselves questioning whether they were doing enough, whether they were creating a solid unschooling environment for their child, or children. Have you experienced that worry over the years? How did you move through it?

Another challenge that many unschooling parents experience revolves around their spouse or partner. Usually one parent will take the lead in unschooling and parenting, which means they’ll be learning deeply about it and be more actively engaged with the unschooling child or children, getting comfortable with the lifestyle. That dynamic often leaves the spouse or partner feeling disconnected and out of the loop. Can you share your experience with this?

For me, the transition from deschooling to unschooling was pretty seamless. In fact, I think part of deschooling is getting to a place where you no longer worry about getting to “unschooling.” You’re living life together as a family, and you’ve come to see that we’re all always learning, and we’re all always growing and changing. How would you describe your transition from the actively learning phase of deschooling to the living phase of unschooling?

Links to things mentioned in the show

The first homeschooling book Jen read: Family Matters: Why Homeschooling Makes Sense

Yahoo email group: Shine with Unschooling

Jen’s blog: o frabjous day

The book about food Jen recommended: Kids, Carrots, and Candy (used to be called Preventing Childhood Eating Problems)

The book about relationships Jen recommended: Parent/Teen Breakthrough: The Relationship Approach

 

EU027: Ten Questions with Teresa Graham Brett

Teresa Graham Brett is an unschooling mom to two boys, Martel and Greyson. She’s also author of the book, Parenting for Social Change.

Teresa’s background as a social justice educator brings a unique and interesting slant to her journey to unschooling. In this episode, she shares some great stories and the fascinating insights she has gleaned along the way. Of course, the journey never ends, we’re always learning. And in that vein, we talk about adultism, the conventional obsession with control over children, ways to move to more supportive parenting, and much more.

Quote of the Week

“Being responsible for the care of a child doesn’t require control—it requires being in connection, and being a partner, and being a facilitator.” ~ Teresa Graham Brett

Ten Questions for Teresa

Can you share with us a bit about your family, and how you came to unschooling?


I’d love to hear more about your unschooling kids. What are they interested in right now? How are they pursuing it? How did that interest come about?


You have written on your blog about the concept of adultism. Can you explain how you define it and give us a couple of examples?


One of the consequences of adultism and looking at life through an adult-centric filter is that we often see children as “adults-in-training.” You have a great section about that in your book. Can you share what you see as the implications of that perspective? And how can we move away from it?


In the book, you also make a great distinction between power and control. And you emphasize that, “letting go of control doesn’t mean we abdicate our responsibility to care for the children in our lives.” How do those ideas all weave together?


As people come to unschooling, they usually have a lot of questions surrounding “screen time,” or, I like your phrase, media access. I think that’s because the dominant cultural story is all about how dangerous it is: addictive, violent, mind-numbing, creativity-sucking. Can you share your story?


You identify a number of tools that parents can use as they shift from controlling parenting to supportive parenting. There are three I’d love if you could touch on for us: accepting our feelings; mindfulness; and awareness. Can you describe what they are and how they can help us shift away from the impulse to control?


You book is titled, Parenting for Social Change. Here’s a short quote I love from the book: “By the simple, but often challenging, act of redefining our relationships with children, we can begin the process of creating profound social change.” Can you talk about the social change aspect?


What has been one of the more challenging aspects for you on your unschooling journey so far?


Looking back now, what, for you, has been the most valuable outcome from choosing unschooling?

Links to things mentioned in the show

Teresa’s website: Parenting for Social Change

and Facebook page: Parenting for Social Change

Teresa on Facebook: Teresa Graham Brett

 

EU026: Q&A Round Table

 

Anne Ohman and Anna Brown, both veteran unschooling parents, join me to answer listener questions. Click here to submit your own question for the Q&A Round Table episodes!

Quote of the Week

“Shift out of the fear by going to your child and connecting with her over what makes her light up right now in this moment.” ~ Anne Ohman

Listener Questions

1. Hello! I’ve been listening to the podcast for a while as well as immersing myself in unschooling resources. I’ve been slowly applying unschooling principles such as focusing on connection and partnership to my relationship with my children.

However, one thing is really tough for me. I find myself at a loss of ideas sometimes when it comes to finding interesting ideas when my children (10 and 12) tell me that they are bored. So many of the blogs I read are so colorful and creative, I’m not quite sure I can keep up! My kids don’t seem to be very interested in my ideas and I’m a bit discouraged.

I would like to find creative solutions to problems too, but I find my mind keeps on going back to old tried and true ways of thinking. I’m afraid I might not be creative enough to be an unschooling mother!

Do you have any tips for being inspired when you just can’t think of anything? I feel like rather a boring mum!

2. We brought our two kids home from traditional school three years ago, and have been homeschooling since then. Our kids are now 12 and 10 and we are a couple of months into exploring unschooling! We are currently expats living in the Middle East but plan on returning to Canada in the next year or two. Our hope is to buy an RV and become a full time RV family, partly stationed in our home city, and partially traveling. Living simply, owning less, and staying out of debt are also things we feel really passionate about, and we are trying to figure it out alongside unschooling.

What are your thoughts about creating a really rich learning environment in a small space? For example, what if one of our children is really into music and we don’t have space for a piano? Or they love painting and we don’t have space for an art studio? (Or even a big easel!) While I think their exposure to the world has been amazing living overseas and travelling, and will continue to be as we travel in the future, I sometimes wonder if we are limiting them by limiting our physical space. Any insight for us?

3. We have been unschooling for one year but have only recently (as in the past few weeks) begun loosening control over food.

My 7-year-old daughter is very drawn to sweet foods. Ever since I’ve been allowing more free rein over food choices, she seems to constantly be in the kitchen, going through cupboards, looking for a cookie or some other sweet thing, or saying she is going to make a peanut butter and honey sandwich (even though we just ate a meal). It really seems like she just has this insatiable craving for sugar.

Could this be a deschooling period for us? What I mean is, perhaps we are “deschooling” not from school, but from conventional parenting on the food issue? Do I need to absolutely allow her complete and total freedom to have literally as much candy and sweets as she wants and then trust that her obsession will mellow out over time? It seems so scary for me because I have strived to be a parent who offers them a healthy diet for so many years now; I worry that it is irresponsible and it just seems very unhealthy for a person to consume so much sugar.

On the other hand, part of me is wondering if, in addition to her innate love of sweet things, she is also testing/exploring this new change in our household. Unschooling has proven to be a very successful and rewarding experience for my entire family. So there is a part of me that is curious to see if it can work out just as well with the food issue, if only I can find the confidence to go for it. Any insight or advice?

4. I recently brought my son home to homeschool. He is being treated for depression, has some personal stuff going on, and is addicted to watching YouTube. Its only been 4 weeks but I wonder how long to let him deschool and what I should insist he do. He has some executive function issues as well.

5. I wonder if you could talk a bit about “cocooning,” which I know is common in pre-teens/early teens, and your experience of the emergence into butterflies? One hears a lot about active, confident unschooling teens out there in the “real world” but so far this hasn’t been our experience, other than online. My daughter is 12 and we’ve been unschooling for a year and a half and it’s been fantastic, she’s doing all sorts of great stuff at home and socializes a lot online, but apart from special events or holidays and seeing family & close friends occasionally, she’s been “cocooning” for much of that time. I completely understand why and have very much been supporting her with it, trusting that this will not hold her back ultimately, but I do worry sometimes about how or whether the process of stepping out of her comfort zone to make the most of the many resources and opportunities in our area will evolve. If you could share your experiences or those of others you know, of this cocooning phase and the emergence into butterflies, it would be much appreciated.

6. I’m wondering if the panel can comment on the experience of encouraging a spouse to embrace this lifestyle. In my family I am the one who lead the way down our unschooling path. My husband has been amazingly open-minded and supportive thus far! Both of us were very confident about unschooling the academic stuff. However, as I have been recently attempting to relax restrictions on food, he is expressing concern. It is such a departure from the way we’ve always been with the kids (striving to offer nutritious foods and limiting sweets/desserts to quite a large extent). It concerns him deeply to see our daughter now helping herself to chocolate and other sweet things frequently. I do understand where he’s coming from, as this is very uncommon in our society. But I can easily see the wisdom in letting children gain experience in making these kinds of choices for themselves. Any thoughts?

Links to things mentioned in the show

The book Anne recommended: Kids, Carrots, and Candy

 

 

EU025: Deschooling with Jennie Gomes

Jennie is mom to three children, ages 6 and under, and they’ve been unschooling for a couple of years now—or more specifically, deschooling. Jennie and I have chatted on and off over that time, and she is actively working to shed the control and punishment she grew up with and not pass it on to her kids. I had a great time diving into deschooling with her!

As she mentions in the episode, she’s interested in hearing other people’s experiences with their relationships with their spouse/partner as they are deschooling—please feel free to share in the comments.

Quote of the Week

“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Questions for Jennie

1. Can you share with us a bit about you and your family and how you first came across the idea of unschooling?

2. What were some of your bigger fears or uncertainties as you first began unschooling? And what do they look like now?

3. What has your family’s move to unschooling looked like? Did you try to do it wholesale, or are you tackling a couple of changes at a time? Have you talked to your kids specifically about it? Or has the shift been more internal, with you changing how you respond to your kids and the expectations you have of them?

4. How has your relationship with your spouse been during this transition, or deschooling, period?

5. I think a big piece of deschooling for many of us often turns out to be shedding the control and punishment paradigm that we grew up with, and that’s definitely a process. When you falter, how do you recover? Have you found a pattern to those moments?

6. How do you handle the daily challenges that come with having three children of different ages, temperaments, and interests?

7. What are some of the little things you do during the day to release any growing frustration and recharge your own energy?

8. What’s been the hardest part of your unschooling journey so far?

9. What’s been the easiest part of your journey?

10. Do you think you’ll ever feel “finished”?

Links to things mentioned in the show

On Facebook: Jennie Gomes

Sandra Dodd’s unschooling website

Childhood Redefined Unschooling Summit website, updated for the next event

EU024: Growing Up Unschooling with Roya Dedeaux

Roya Dedeaux left school at age ten and her family began unschooling. Now an adult, she has a Master’s degree in Counseling and is a Marriage and Family Therapist Intern, as well as a lecturer at California State University. She’s also married with a wonderful child of her own, and a busy life of fun and diverse interests.

In this episode, we talk about her transition from to school to unschooling, her experience taking college courses as a teen, her appreciation for her parents’ enthusiastic support as she dove deeply into her interests, her advice for unschooling parents who are just starting out on this journey, and much more!

Quote of the Week

“As we get older and our kids grow up, we eventually come to realize that all the big things in our lives are really the direct result of how we’ve handled all the little things.” ~ Pam Sorooshian, Roya’s mom

Questions for Roya

1. Can you share with us a bit about you and your family?

2. The unschooling lifestyle is a pretty unconventional one, which can sometimes be both awesome and challenging in turn. Were there things you found challenging over the years, and if so, what were some of the things you guys tried to work through them?

3. What stands out for you as you look back on your unschooling years? What, from your perspective now, do you most appreciate about living an unschooling lifestyle growing up?

4. The conventional parent-child dynamic is pretty steeped in power and control, but unschooling encourages a different dynamic. Can you share a bit about what was your relationship with your parents was like growing up? And now as an adult?

5. Your Bachelor of Arts degree is in Recreation and Leisure Studies. What drew you to that field of study? Did it grow out of existing interests?

6. How did you find the shift from unschooling to college classes? What were the challenges and the advantages you saw?

7. What drew you to pursue a Master’s degree in counseling?

8. There’s a lovely column you wrote for The Homeschooler Post titled “Honoring Your Child’s Creativity.” The story you share about the reactions you get from your college students when you ask them what they did for fun that week, is so telling, and you also had some great tips on fostering creativity. Can you share the story and your suggestions?

9. Have you found that your unschooling lifestyle growing up has influenced your work as a therapist?

10. As grown unschooler, what piece of advice would you like to share with unschooling parents who are just starting out on this journey?

Links to things mentioned in the show

Roya’s website: royadedeaux.com

And her Facebook page: Roya Dedeaux, MFTi

Roya’s Homeschooler Post article: Honoring Your Child’s Creativity

In 2016, Roya will be speaking at: the CHN Family Expo in Pomona, California (June 23-26); the HSC Conference in San Fransisco, California (July 28-31); and the Free to Be Unschooling Conference in Phoenix, Arizona (Sept 29 – Oct 2)

EU023: Learning to Read in Their Own Time with Anne Ohman

Anne Ohman is a long-time unschooling mom and Library Director at a small, rural library in New York state. She has been writing about unschooling since 1998, and has a been student of her children since they were born. She is the founder of the Shine with Unschooling community, and co-host (with me!) of the Childhood Redefined Unschooling Summit.

In this episode, Anne shares her perspective on why children at school are expected to learn to read early, why unschooling children who aren’t yet reading aren’t “lacking” anything, how they play with the puzzle of reading every day by living in the world, and so much more!

Quote of the Week

“What is most important and valuable about the home as a base for children’s growth into the world is not that it is a better school than the schools, but that it isn’t a school at all.” ~ John Holt

Questions for Anne

1. Can you share with us a bit about your background and your family and how you came to unschooling?

2. School, and by extension society, is laser-focused on children learning to read as early as possible. As a library director and unschooling parent, I’d love to hear your perspective on how you’ve seen these reading expectations play out.

3. I’ve really enjoyed the stories you’ve shared on Facebook about schooled children at the library and how their outlook on reading has changed since you started there. Can you share some of those stories?

4. Our society is so caught up in reading by a certain age that if a child isn’t reading by then, most adults in their lives seem to focus on that missing piece. Why do you think that is?

5. Let’s talk about how our kids have learned without reading!

6. Something that has struck me over the years is how unschooling children are more apt to call themselves readers once they are comfortably reading adult-level books. Have you seen this too?

7. Have you had anyone judge your kids for not being able to read?

8. How do you feel now about Sam’s journey to reading as you look back on it today?

Links to things mentioned in the show

Anne’s Shine with Unschooling email list and Facebook page

Anne would love to connect in real life at the Childhood Redefined Unschooling Summit

Two of Anne’s TUC Talks, 2006: This is Where Unschooling Lives and 2009: What’s So Radical About Radical Unschooling? (scroll down)

Pam’s article about Lissy’s road to reading: “I Can Read, You Know!”

Pam’s blog post about learning to read: Learning to Read Without Lessons

EU022: Ten Questions with Lainie Liberti

Lainie Liberti is mom to 16 year-old Miro. They backed into unschooling in 2009 through what was meant to be a one-year mother-and-son backpacking trip. Now in their seventh year of travelling, Lainie is co-producer and host of the weekly online show, For the Love of Learning: Voices of the Alternative Education Movement, and she and Miro host Project World School, inspiring temporary learning communities / retreats around the world for teens and young adults. They also recently gave a talk at TEDx Amsterdam, an independently organized TED event focused on education, whose theme this year was “born to learn.”

Quote of the Week

“Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.” ~ Miriam Beard

Ten Questions for Lainie

Can you share with us a bit about you and Miro, how you found yourselves unschooling, and decided to continue travelling?


What has been one of the more challenging aspects of your unschooling journey so far?


What has been one of the more challenging aspects of your travelling journey so far?


You and Miro identify more with the term worldschooling, and I love how you distinguish between unschooling and worldschooling. You describe your day-to-day lives as radical unschooling, with Miro’s self-directed learning being interest-led. But that there’s also the learning that comes from your travel experiences, immersive learning that’s not necessarily driven by interest, but rather by your environment. Can you talk about that distinction?


I’m sure you have lots of wonderful stories from your worldschooling travels! Can you share one of your favourites?


I really enjoyed being a guest on an episode of For the Love of Learning about attachment parenting. You’ve been hosting the mostly weekly show for over a year now. Can you share with us something you’ve learned that has stayed with you?


When asked about travelling, you’ve written, “My travel advice to you is about the journey inward.” That sounds similar to the roots of the unschooling journey. Can you explain what you mean by that?


In April, you and Miro gave a talk at an education-focused TEDx event in Amsterdam. It was titled, “Unschooling: making the world our classroom.” I watched it and LOVED it! I’ll include the link for everyone in the show notes. Can you tell us about the experience?


What inspired you and Miro to create Project World School? And what kind of feedback have you been getting from past participants?


Looking back now, what, for you, has been the most valuable outcome from choosing unschooling?

Links to things mentioned in the show

Lainie and Miro’s TEDx Talk: Unschooling: making the world our classroom

Websites:

Raising Miro

Project World School

For the Love of Learning Show

Facebook:

Project World School page

Worldschoolers group

Raising Miro on the Road of Life page

For the Love of Learning Show page

Pam’s episode, For the Love of Learning #47: Attachment Parenting