Pam Laricchia's Blog, page 34

EU088: Deschooling – A Year Later, with Jennie Gomes

Jennie Gomes is an unschooling mom to three young children and we thought we’d do something interesting. Jennie was on the podcast just over a year ago, episode 25, and we chatted about her deschooling journey. She graciously agreed to come back on the show to answer the same questions, but now with another year of unschooling experience under her belt. That means you guys can listen to her previous episode and then this episode to see how her understanding of unschooling has evolved over the past year and how things have changed in how it plays out in their daily lives.

Quote of the Week

“I feel like it’s her trust in us and confidence in herself that catapults her development.” ~ Jennie Gomes

Questions for Jennie

Can you share with us a bit about you and your family and how you first came across the idea of unschooling?

What were some of your bigger fears or uncertainties as you first began unschooling and what do they look like now?

Has your relationship with your husband changed as your family has embraced unschooling?

Can you share what you’ve learned as you move away from control and punishment as parenting tools? Are there patterns you’ve discovered?

How do you handle the daily challenges that come with having three children of different ages, temperaments, and interests?

The curiosity and energy of young kids is just incredible, isn’t it? What are some of the little things you do during the day to recharge your own energy?

What’s been the hardest part of your unschooling journey so far?

What’s been the easiest part of your journey?

Links to Things Mentioned in the Show

Find info about the Childhood Redefined Summit at childhoodredefined.com

Jennie’s first conversation with Pam, EU025: Deschooling with Jennie Gomes

Sandra Dodd’s second conversation with Pam, EU071: Changes in Parents with Sandra Dodd

Sandra Dodd’s daily email, Just Add Light and Stir the post, ‘Two-way change’, and her page on freedom

You can find Jennie on Facebook and as admin of the Facebook group, Ontario Unschoolers

Episode Transcript

Read the transcript here

EU087: Q&A Round Table

Anne Ohman and Anna Brown join me to answer listener questions. Click here to submit your own question to the Q&A Round Table!

Quote of the Week

“When I was talking about how we create our worlds, this is it! You’re talking about what they want, and how much we can give, and “Is this enough?” and “What do you think about this?” I just think it’s got this beautiful feeling, a beautiful swirl and flow and it’s amazing, the picture that we paint, we create with our lives with just the connection. The true deep connection with our children, I just love it.” ~ Anne Ohman

Listener Questions

Ionia’s Question [TIME: 3:28]

I am mother to a 13-month-old boy and a real newbie to unschooling. My husband and I only came across the term when we started looking into alternative education for our son about 6 months ago, but from the moment we started to read about Unschooling we knew it was a good fit for our family. I want to thank you so much for this fantastic podcast and especially the Q&A sessions, which I find extremely interesting, challenging and inspiring.

The question I have isn’t so much about unschooling our son, but actually about unschooling for adults. This is something I have seen mentioned but I haven’t read or heard much about the idea. My husband and I are both artists and it seems to me that the way we create art is similar to how children learn naturally through play, exploration and the freedom to immerse themselves in whatever they are drawn to. There is a similarity too in the atmosphere that is most conducive to the creation of art and the atmosphere that is required to allow unschooling to happen, i.e. an atmosphere of equality, trust, respect, honesty and support. However, difficulties tend to arise in the life of an artist when our often slow creative process comes up against the need to earn a living. In fact, the only difference I can see between the life of an unschooled child and that of an adult artist is that one is provided for and the other has to provide for themselves.

So, my question is this: how do children who have been unschooled make the transition from following their interests freely to having to earn a living? I am sure that most children who have been unschooled find a walk of life that is enjoyable to them, and can support themselves eventually through doing what they love best, but inevitably, earning money from a pursuit changes the nature of the activity and puts a ‘worth’ on it. So, for example, an artist may find that they wake up one morning and have the impulse to take out their dusty watercolour set and go painting, but they have a commission they need to finish and so the impulse has to be ignored. The activity of creating the commission suddenly becomes less enjoyable as the natural creative flow has been blocked.

As an artist (unschooled adult!) and a deschooling mother I’m very curious to know if there are mental approaches that can make the relationship between work and money easier to handle. Can unschooling carry on into adulthood?

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences around this idea.

Anonymous Question [TIME: 28:35]

Hi! Firstly I’d like to thank you for these podcasts. I like to listen to them when I go for morning walks before my boys wake up and my husband has not yet left for work.

I have 2 boys. We came to unschooling because my eldest made it so! He is an incredible child full of energy and love, but he made it pretty clear from the beginning that learning was on his terms. We decided that he wouldn’t be a great fit for school and launched into deschooling. That was 3 years ago.

So, now my children are 7 and 3 1/2. I am seeking help on how to respond to my eldest. Whenever he gets hurt or upset, his reaction is quite ferocious! He is extremely loud and hollers/squawks for quite some time. It is noticeable to people within our vicinity to the point that they think he is extremely hurt. He plays football (soccer), which he loves, and his father is his coach. My husband is becoming a little embarrassed by his reactions. I’m wondering how we can help him. We’ve never told him that it’s not ok to cry of course, and my husband is extremely affectionate with our children. When my son feels better, it is sudden and like nothing happened – there is no gradual recovery. It’s like he’s switched on or off.

I have always seen him as a child that feels things and does things with such passion. He has gone through periods where the morning sunlight bothered him so much he’d scream in pain; he’s quite particular with feeling/textures like wearing clothes or eating food; he doesn’t like being touched by others but demands close contact with me and wrestling with my husband; he makes high pitched sounds whilst watching YouTube on his iPad and randomly yells, transitioning has also been something that can cause upset. Most of these things worsen for a period and then improve, but the noises and reactions have not.

He has a lot of energy and is quite the extrovert, however he does not connect with a lot of kids—it’s like they are afraid of his unpredictability or they just don’t like him because he is seemingly ‘loud and proud.’ However, he has more empathy than any other child I’ve met and is always the first to ask someone if they are ok or help them up on the pitch.

We’ve been ok with him quitting activities—he often has a problem with the teachy nature of such things. He does not want to quit football (soccer) and becomes quite distressed at the idea of doing so. I’d like some ideas on how to help him with this sensory distress in an unschooling home. I am concerned that asking these questions elsewhere will lead to suggestions of diagnoses, labels and therapy. I do not wish to view my son through such a lens and would like to help him cope or manage in the world in which he lives whilst embracing that these behaviours are just a part of who he is.

Chelsea’s Question [TIME: 47:17]

Hi,

We have been unschooling now for over a year and a half and are loving our lifestyle. We are continually deschooling ourselves and moving towards respectful parenting. My husband and I were hoping to get a concrete response to some situations that we deal with on a consistent basis.

1. I’m getting dinner ready, the dishwasher is clean but there are dishes in the sink and I need help getting things in order to get food ready for everyone. Usually the kids sigh or complain about not wanting to help. What am I supposed to do in a situation like this when I need the help and no one is contributing.

2. At the end of the day we like the house picked up before everyone is in bed and most of the mess is from the kids throughout the day. They rarely want to help pick things up that they were playing with and most nights are not pleasant during this time.

We are understanding the concept of respectful parenting and partnership but there are specific situations that are just making us draw a blank. Thank you, ladies!

Liz’s Question [TIME: 1:04:20]

My son has been playing with coding and wants to learn how to code in Lua, which is the language that Roblox uses. After looking at lots of different options for him to learn coding, he is very clear that he wants me to learn to code and then teach him what I know and help him write scripts specifically for Roblox. He has fantastic ideas for in-game mods, but we have found it difficult so far to write scripts that work like he wants them to. I would love some encouragement and/or stories from your lives about how you’ve helped your children learn about something that is challenging for you. Thank you!

Links to things mentioned in the show

Thomas M. Sterner’s book, The Practicing Mind

Tara Gentile’s book, The Art of Earning

Joanna Penn’s book, The Successful Author Mindset

Elaine Aron’s book, The Highly Sensitive Child

Carol Kranowitz’s book, The Out-of-Sync Child

Anne’s essay, I Am What I Am

Anne’s conference talk excerpt, Validating Our Children

Ross Greene’s book, The Explosive Child

Shine with Unschooling list of sensory activities

Tami Stroud’s podcast episode

Anne’s website: shinewithunschooling.com

Anna’s website: choosingconnection.com

Episode Transcript

Read the transcript here

 

EU086: Unschooling an Only Child with Deb Rossing and Pat Robinson

Deb Rossing and Pat Robinson are unschooling moms I’ve known online for many years and have also met in person at unschooling conferences. This episode came about because I’ve had a few listeners suggest the topic of unschooling an only child, but since I have three kids I don’t have much experience to share on this particular topic, so I’m excited they both agreed to chat about it!

Quote of the Week

“I don’t think it’s better with an only child, it’s just different than having siblings.” ~ Pat Robinson

Questions for Deb and Pat

Can you each share with us a bit about you and your family and how you discovered unschooling?

What did your family’s move to unschooling look like?

Since an only child spends their home time hanging out with adults, did you worry about them having the opportunity to socialize with other kids? If so, did you do anything to address that?

At home with an only child, you are, in essence, your child’s only playmate. Did you feel that way often? Were there times when they wanted to play or do things you didn’t enjoy? If so, how did you handle those moments?

As parents of an only child, you are the people they come to for engagement—to share their thoughts, play their games, express their emotions and so on. I imagine that can sometimes feel overwhelming. Can you share some of the ways you found to keep yourself refreshed and energized?

At this point, what has been the most surprising thing about your unschooling journey?

Links to Things Mentioned in the Show

Rick Rossing’s episode, EU010: Unschooling Dads with Rick Rossing

Pat’s friend’s resources: Mothering magazine, Bradley birth method

Pat read The Continuum Concept

Deb’s on Facebook

Pat’s Facebook group, Heal Thyself

Episode Transcript

Read the transcript here

EU085: Deschooling with Lucy AitkenRead

Lucy AitkenRead is an unschooling mom of two that you may know her from her blog, Lulastic and the Hippyshake. Or her YouTube channel. We have a wonderful chat, diving deep into what her family’s move to unschooling has looked like, what’s been the hardest part of the journey so far, what’s been the most surprising, as well her husband’s journey to unschooling.

Quote of the Week

“It’s not really so much about the very specific practical details as much as the big picture of the life you’re trying to lead, which is one where you’re not making decisions based on fear, but you’re making decisions based on connection. And having that overall philosophy is what makes then the details make sense.” ~ Lucy AitkenRead

Questions for Lucy

Can you share with us a bit about you and your family?

How did you discover unschooling?

What has your family’s move to unschooling looked like?

Can you share a bit about your husband’s journey? Was unschooling new to him? If so, how did you help him learn more about it?

What’s been the hardest part of your unschooling journey so far?

What has surprised you most about your journey so far?

You recently started a group and website called Parent Allies. I’d love to know the inspiration behind it and a bit about your plans!

Links to Things Mentioned in the Show

John Holt’s book, How Children Learn

Elisabeth Young-Bruehl’s book, Childism: Confronting Prejudice Against Children

Lucy’s group Parent Allies: the website, Facebook page, and Facebook group

Lucy’s website, Lulastic and the Hippyshake, and her YouTube channel

Episode Transcript

Read the transcript here

EU084: Enjoy Parenting with Scott Noelle

Scott Noelle is an unschooling dad of two, an author, and a life coach dedicated to supporting parents who want to move away from control-based parenting methods. He’s the founder of the website, DailyGroove.com, where he shares his practical parenting insights. We have a wonderful conversation diving into his wonderful PATH parenting framework, the value of nonverbal communication, ways we can hold presence with negative feelings, how fear can slip into control, and, as a founding member, he also shares some great information about the history and goals of the Alliance for Self-Directed Education.

Quote of the Week

“A lot of power gets drained from us when we’re in the state of anxiety, and if we can find a way to move into trust, then it does really transform our experience, and our kids tend to respond in a positive way that leads to easier times, all in all.” ~ Scott Noelle

Questions for Scott

Can you share with us a bit about you and your family?

What did your family’s move to unschooling look like?

You have a wonderful website, dailygroove.com, where people can sign up to receive daily emails from you. I signed up when I was early on in my unschooling journey and I really appreciated your nuggets of parenting insight as I was in the midst of challenging so much of the conventional parenting wisdom I’d absorbed. You call it PATH Parenting, and I love that not only is it an acronym, it’s also a reminder that the journey—the path—is the destination. Can you share an overview of what PATH parenting is?

We talk quite a bit in unschooling circles about communicating openly with our children and how it facilitates connection and trust in our relationships, but some children aren’t big verbal communicators. It’s not that they aren’t giving us messages, just that not a lot of them are verbal. If we find ourselves in that situation, what are some other ways we can communicate and connect with our child?

You have a great article on your website about holding presence with negative feelings, such as frustration or fear. Can you share what you mean and how we can develop that skill?

As our children get older, we can sometimes find ourselves uncomfortable with some of their choices. We start feeling fearful and protective, and that can so easily slip into control because that’s the go to response in our culture: forbid the activity and explain the consequences we’ll impose on them if they disobey. That approach can really damage the relationship though, can’t it? What might we do instead?

You’re also a founding member of the Alliance for Self-Directed Education, which advocates both unschooling and alternative schools that support self-directed education. I love that the ADSE is trying to normalize self-directed education as a whole. Could you give us an update on the work that the Alliance is doing?

Links to Things Mentioned in the Show

Jean Liedloff’s book, The Continuum Concept

John Holt’s book, How Children Fail

The movie, Office Space

One of Scott’s daily grooves: The Power of Silence

E. Richard Sorenson’s essay, Preconquest Consciousness

Another daily groove: Ending the Blame Game

Scott’s website, DailyGroove.com

And the Alliance for Self-Directed Education

Episode Transcript

Read the transcript here

EU083: Unschooling Around the World with Tami Stroud

Tami Stroud is an unschooling mom of six kids, ages four to thirteen. We have a great chat about her family’s move to unschooling, their journey to becoming a nomadic, sometimes expat, family, the threads that weave through the ideas of hard work, grit, entitlement, and rewards and punishment, and last, but not least, she shares some wonderful tips for unschooling with a large family.

Quote of the Week

“When you think about rewards and punishment in light of entitlement, that goes back to, you condition people to only want to do a thing if they are getting some sort of benefit. You create this reward economy that you are paying for the behaviour or the goodness you want, rather than people just being good to be good and to freely give themselves.” ~ Tami Stroud

Questions for Tami

Can you share with us a bit about you and your family, and how you discovered unschooling?

What did your family’s move to unschooling look like?

You and your husband have chosen a more nomadic lifestyle for your family. What inspired that and can you share a bit about where you guys have lived so far?

You have a great four-part series on your blog about hard work, digging into the question, “Do people do hard things even when they are not forced to do them?” I really enjoyed the connection you made between the conventional method for encouraging hard work, namely rewards for a “job well done,” and the development of a sense of entitlement. Can you explain that connection?

With the diverging interests of six children, I’d love to hear a bit about what your unschooling days look like.

What tips would you share for larger families starting to move to unschooling?

Links to Things Mentioned in the Show

Tami mentioned the Home Educators of Riyadh Facebook group

Alfie Kohn’s book, Punished by Rewards

Alison Gopnik’s books: The Philosophical Baby, The Scientist in the Crib and The Gardener and the Carpenter

Pam’s blog post, “I’m so proud of you!”

Tami’s blog, StarryEyedPragmatist.com, and Facebook page

Episode Transcript

Read the transcript here

 

EU082: Q&A Round Table

Anne Ohman and Anna Brown join me to answer listener questions. Click here to submit your own question to the Q&A Round Table!

Quote of the Week

“It’s in following your child’s light and joy and questions and interests and curiosities and conversations where the learning happens.” ~ Anne Ohman

Listener Questions

Anonymous Question [TIME: 3:36]

My son just turned 7 and we have been Unschooling for 2 years. I love unschooling but the one little concern that keeps popping up once in a while from my husband is about his writing skills / penmanship. He struggles writing his name or has no desire to draw. He does the occasional backwards “N” and I know that I was dyslexic in my younger years so I wonder if he maybe as well, which is why I don’t like to pressure him. Now I loved drawing but hated reading. He on the other hand he is an amazing reader well beyond his age. That is what is keeping my husband relaxing about Unschooling.

So I just want to hear from you of any cases where some children maybe natural great readers but had no desire in writing and once they reached a certain age they had the desire and picked up writing with ease. At least that is what I’m hoping for.

I do plan on sharing this with my husband so feel free to speak to him directly lol.

Thank you.

Nikki’s Question (from Ontario, Canada) [TIME: 27:17]

Hello Pam, Anne and Anna! Prepare yourself because I am about to gush! Thank you SO much for your time and wisdom and knowledge and for sharing your experiences. I absolutely love your podcast Pam, and your books and your website, what incredible resources. And I especially love the Q & A episodes, which are so rich with insight and love! All of your support has been pivotal in our Unschooling journey. SO MUCH GRATITUDE!!!!

Ok, some background first before I ask my question; I have 3 daughters, 8,6,4, all of which have never been to school. I was a teacher for 10 years (and to quote Sandra Dodd, I was “made of school”). After the birth of my third daughter I decided to leave the teaching profession to *be unschooled by the experience of Unschooling! I have been deschooling myself for the last 4/5 years soaking up all kinds of Unschooling and life experiences and resources (honestly, *millions of Unschooling books, articles, EVERY PODCAST ON UNSCHOOLING EVER RECORDED! Ha ha, quite seriously!) and still feel like I have a lot of work to do. But I am so passionate about this way of living and it has begun an incredible journey (for me especially) of changing paradigms in our life. My girls and I have incredible relationships, and they are very bonded to each other as well. I deeply believe in what we are doing and I am aware I still get pulled back into my old ways. I continue to examine new perspectives and I have been paying attention to things that make me uncomfortable, as I am learning that things that make me uncomfortable are things that I can look deeper at, unpack and examine.

We have a wonderful small community of Unschooling families who we have bonded with over the past 4 years, and there are many children of all ages who play together and it’s incredible to witness. We also see many friends who are not Unschoolers. I find that the times I feel uncomfortable in these social situations is when someone feels left out, or when a child seems to be intentionally discluded from some sort of play. (The “reporting” of this usually comes from my 6-year-old who is quite sensitive, but it also happens with my 4-year-old with her own sisters at home, and for other kids as well). Situations like these (and they seem to happen a lot) really get to me. I feel fiercely protective to the one being left out and my initial “instinct” is to want to stand up for them and help them be heard. I am aware where this uncomfortableness and strong reaction comes from (I had an overall horrible, very damaging experience throughout all of grade school and was bullied very badly and excluded from many things, I hated school and never wanted to go mainly because of the social aspect.) These are things I am examining through therapy and have been deeply scarred by and still struggle with in my own social circle as a 36-year-old woman. It has deeply affected my self confidence and sadly has shaped me in many ways. (Not all sadly, because it has contributed to many wonderful qualities of mine like my empathetic nature and sensitive super powers!)

I am aware these experiences often creep into my experience now as a mother. (They crept into my experience as a teacher and I had such a hard time navigating the social atmosphere of school as a teacher, I truly despised it).

When it is brought to my attention (either by observation or from a child), I listen to my daughter’s concerns, I am truly empathetic, I suggest things she can say or do (I am not really sure what she should do sometimes), or if it persists, I go over to the situation with her to be present and I attempt to mediate but usually end up trying to resolve it. This doesn’t feel right, and I feel very emotionally charged when this happens (I struggle to remain neutral). I am even close to or in tears after when I discuss it with my husband trying to get his perspective. I am afraid I get too involved and am making to big a deal of it? I know her experience is not my experience but it’s so hard to separate in the moment. I am continuing to work on that. I am looking for suggestions on how to handle these experiences better for my daughter(s).  I think my perspective is so clouded with my school experiences (as a child and a teacher) that I am missing an opportunity to grow from it and support my daughters through these social experiences. Am I resting this from a “schoolish” perspective still? I need some outside perspective. Much appreciated!

Sarah’s Question (from Italy) [TIME: 52:20]

I’ve recently taken away all limits around TV for my 5.5-year-old daughter. Previously she was watching around 2 hours a day although we were fairly flexible. Since taking away the limits she is pretty much watching TV all day. She’ll stop only if we’re going out somewhere or if a friend comes to play. I know this is normal in the beginning however I’m uncomfortable with how much she is watching. She is incredibly bright, I suspect gifted although she has never been tested. She is a perfectionist, has low tolerance of frustration and sensory issues. I’m worried she is using TV as an escape from all of that, to avoid situations that are frustrating or uncomfortable for her. Whilst this is ok some of the time I question whether it’s good for her to watch so much. So, my question is, are there situations where certain children may need limits around screens?

Anonymous Question [TIME: 61:13]

I’ve been homeschooling for 12 years. I have 4 kids. We have tried many different things. My oldest is will be 17 tomorrow. I discovered quickly back in kindergarten that school at home didn’t work. We have always been relaxed but not true unschooling.

I’ve been reading and listening to your podcast.

So, a couple of fears that I would love others prospective on.

#1) We have friends who homeschool and they are definitely school at home. The mom was a public school teacher. So, my 12yo gets upset that she doesn’t know things that her friends knows. She still struggles with multiplication and most all math. So how do you handle or help your kids with issues like this. I keep telling her she will get it not to worry. She is embarrassed that and feels behind.

#2) I know in unschooling you don’t worry if they read really late according to society. What if something happed to the mom and the kids had no choice but go to public school. I would be so worried how they would make it. Does that even make sense?

Links to things mentioned in the show

Anne’s conference talk excerpt, I Was His Scribe

Anne’s Shine with Unschooling Yahoo group

Anne mentioned the book, The Gift of Dyslexia

Pam’s blog post, Learning to Write is About Communicating

Anne recalled Tracey’s playground question, in episode 69

Anne’s website: shinewithunschooling.com

Anna’s website: choosingconnection.com

Episode Transcript

Read the transcript here

EU081: Book Chat with Emma Marie Forde

Emma Marie Forde is unschooling mom to two girls, Lily and Rosa. She’s also the founder of the website, rethinkingparenting.co.uk. Before having children, Emma was a clinical psychologist, a career that informed her choice to stay home with her own children and which eventually led her and her husband John to choose unschooling for their family.

In this episode, Emma and I have a great chat about the book, The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children.

Quote of the Week

“The mind of a human child working in concert with the minds of the people caring for him is the most flexible and powerful learning device in the known universe.” ~ Alison Gopnik

The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children , by Alison Gopnik

The gardener and the carpenter are great analogies that Alison uses to describe two approaches of parenting. With the carpenter model, parents are working with a goal of producing a particular kind of adult. They are essentially trying to shape their child into a final product that fits the vision they had in mind.

On the other hand, when we garden, we create a protected and nurturing space for plants to flourish. She explains that a good garden is constantly changing as it adapts to the changing circumstances, and a good gardener “works to create fertile soil that can sustain a whole ecosystem of different plants with different strengths and beauties—and with different weaknesses and difficulties too.”

In the book, Alison discusses the evolution of childhood and love, the ways children learn (looking, listening, and play), growing up, technology, and then brings it all together in a chapter about the value of children.

Here’s how she sets us up in the introduction to dive in deep:

“So our job as parents is not to make a particular kind of child. Instead, our job is to provide a protected space of love, safety, and stability in which children of many unpredictable kinds can flourish. Our job is not to shape our children’s minds; it’s to let those minds explore all the possibilities that the world allows. Our job is not to tell children how to play; it’s to give them the toys and pick the toys up again after the kids are done. We can’t make children learn, but we can let them learn.”

Another interesting tidbit is her suggestion to move away from the idea of “parenting,” which she feels has pushed so many to embrace the carpenter model because it implies achieving a standard “outcome” once the job of parenting is done, and instead think of our role as being a parent. We’re not parenting, we’re being a parent. She explains that it’s so much more helpful to focus on the relationship.

And that’s something unschooling parents have discovered too!

Links to Things Mentioned in the Show

The book: The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children, by Alison Gopnik

Other books also by Alison Gopnik: The Philosophical Baby: What Children’s Minds Tell Us About Truth, Love and the Meaning of Life, and The Scientist in the Crib: Minds, Brains, and How Children Learn

Pam mentioned Dan Cadzow’s podcast episode and Kelly Nicole’s episode as well

Gordon Neufeld’s website, he’s a clinical psychologist and a developmental theorist and researcher that Emma mentioned.

The Childes Database of 6,000 conversations between parents and young children

The podcast Q&A episodes

Alan Thomas is a UK developmental psychologist who’s looked into home education quite substantially

The Alliance for Self-Directed Education

Emma’s website: RethinkingParenting.co.uk

Brene Brown’s book, Rising Strong

Carol Black’s essay, A Thousand Rivers

Episode Transcript

Read the transcript here

EU080: Growing Up Unschooling with Kelly Nicole

Kelly Nicole went to school until 6th grade, when both she and her sister left for greener pastures. Her family eventually settled into unschooling and she’s now 22 and has been a professional actress for nine years. She also teaches acting and improv to kids, as well as directing children’s theatre. We have a really fun chat, diving into her family’s road to unschooling, how her passion for acting developed, what she appreciates most about her unschooling lifestyle growing up, her advice for unschooling parents just starting out on this journey, and lots more.

Quote of the Week

“The most wonderful thing about being unschooled is that I was able to pursue what I loved because I loved it.” ~ Kelly Nicole

Questions for Kelly

Can you share with us a bit about you and your family?

What did your family’s move to unschooling look like?

How did your passion for acting develop? Can you share a bit about that journey and what it looks like today?

I know you teach acting to kids and perform as princess characters at parties and events. Have you found that your unschooling lifestyle growing up has influenced the work you do with kids now?

What stands out for you as you look back on your unschooling years? What, from your perspective now, do you most appreciate about living an unschooling lifestyle growing up?

As a grown unschooler, what piece of advice would you like to share with unschooling parents who are just starting out on this journey?

Links to Things Mentioned in the Show

Free to Be unschooling conference in Phoenix, Arizona, August 31 – Sept 3, 2017

Kelly’s YouTube channel, Facebook page, Instagram, Tumblr, and Twitter

 

EU079: Unschooling Dads with Dan Cadzow

Dan Cadzow is an archaeologist who chose to leave his PhD program and become a stay-at-home unschooling dad of four kids. We have a great conversation that covers his path to unschooling, how he’s developed trust in the process, what the most challenging aspect has been so far, his advice for dads who are just starting out on this journey, and more. I really enjoyed the archaeological perspective that Dan brought to our conversation, it’s really interesting stuff!

Quote of the Week

“Our schooling system’s only about 150 years old. There are examples of schools and workshops and apprenticeships back into antiquity, but for the most part, kids learned organically just by being in society. I think of it in terms of the transmission of culture. And 150 years ago, somebody decided, this is really important, we need to control it. And you can hypothesize over their motivations, whether they were good or bad, but I think that it’s really hurting us as a society that we are trying to control it and limiting people’s experiences so much. But it seems like every generation seems to get a little worse and a little worse, and now you drive around the country and those iconic farmhouses are crumbling in ruins and there’s trailers next to them and six kids lined up getting into the school bus and it just kind of breaks my heart to see what we’re losing with this over-reaching attempt to control the transmission of culture. It’s like the kids are separated from the world and taught about it through abstractions.” ~ Dan Cadzow

Questions for Dan

Can you share with us a bit about you and your family, and how you came to unschooling?

I’d love to hear what your kids are enjoying at the moment. What are they interested in?

What were the key pieces in your decision to leave your PhD program and stay home with your children?

How did you build trust in the process of unschooling? What were the pieces that resonated with you and helped you feel more confident in choosing this lifestyle?

What has been the most challenging aspect of moving to unschooling for you?

As an unschooling dad, what piece of advice would you like to share with dads who are considering or just starting out on this journey?

Links to Things Mentioned in the Show

John Taylor Gatto’s article, Against School

Amy Child’s podcast, The Unschooling Life

Peter Gray’s Psychology Today blog, Freedom to Learn

The movie, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

You can connect with Dan through teamcadzow at gmail dot com

Episode Transcript

Read the transcript here