Edward Lorn's Blog, page 66
June 26, 2015
Mind if I share something with you?
Look what I just won on Ebay. This is the complete Elric of Melnibone saga. The first complete series anyway, starting at Elric of Melnibone and ending with Stormbringer. This set consists of the DAW reissues from 1977, and they look to be in amazing condition.
Little background about me and these books: I don’t care too much for fantasy literature. Moorcock’s Elric books are some of the only sword and sorcery novels I’ve enjoyed other than Tolkien’s works. Something about that tall, gaunt figure with his massive black blade has always struck me as cool as hell. Thanks to one of my aunts and my late grandmother on my mom’s side, I had everything Moorcock ever published about Elric, and then, in 2004, Hurricane Ivan flooded the storage shed in which I had them stored. I lost all of them. Every single one. Scoring this set is a dream come true, and I wanted to share it with you. I will take better photos when I actually receive them. The picture above is the photo from the auction’s listing.
I only have three more books to buy and I will have completely rebuilt my mother’s book collection from before Hurricane Opal, which destroyed just about every hardcover she’d collected from around 1970 to 1995. I started rebuilding the collection in 2001, but in 2004 Hurricane Ivan set me back again, leaving me with only 22 of the first edition hardcovers out of the original 450. Everything I own is now as weather-proof as I can possibly make it. Anything of real value anyway.
In case you’re wondering what three books I’m looking for, they are as followed:
This version of Ghost Story, by Peter Straub (First Edition Hardcover)
This version of Twilight Eyes, by Dean R. Koontz (First Illustrated Edition)
And this version of Dune, by Frank Herbert (First Edition with Sandy Mountain artwork and map on rear of dustjacket; this book is worth over $2,000)
Anyway, thanks for letting me share with you.
*hugs and high fives*
E.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1190790/mind-if-i-share-something-with-you
Proud of my Nation Today! #LoveWins
Finally! Good on you, U.S. Supreme Court.
Love wins!
NOH8
Congratulations to all my LGBT family and friends. I’m so happy for you today!
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1190682/proud-of-my-nation-today-lovewins
June 25, 2015
Now Available for the First Time on Nook and Kobo!
Cruelty is now available to those of you who do not play in the court of the Mighty ‘Zon.
With this final version of Cruelty, I have streamlined the formatting by taking out all episode breaks. If you’ve been waiting for the entire novel in one place, your time is now.
The book is currently $6.99 wherever ebooks are sold. A trade paperback bindup is coming in the next month. That version will share a cover with this version of the ebook.
A final note: If you buy a physical copy of any of my books, let me know and I will gift you the ebook, no matter what site you use.
Sale Links:
Smashwords, Google Play, and Apple iBooks editions are coming soon.
Thank you for all your past, present, and future support.
*hugs and high fives*
E.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1190422/now-available-for-the-first-time-on-nook-and-kobo
Jurassic World Movie Review
Review: 
I don’t know why I expected a smart summer blockbuster. I most definitely did not expect to hate this movie as much as I did. I enjoyed the science and action of the first two films, and would even go as far as saying I liked the travesty that is Part 3 more than this latest journey to Isla Nublar.
JURASSIC WORLD is a terrible mess that was obviously rushed through post production. I’ve seen better cinematography on NCIS and better script writing on SyFy Original Movies. None of the photography team seemed to know how to frame a shot, and all the action is basically a clusterfuck of CGI thrown at your face for several minutes at a time, and then rinse, repeat. Chris Pratt was even underwhelming. Bryce Dallas Howard deserves the Over-Actor of the Year Award. Some of her acting was truly awful. I’m talking high school theater bad. Pornography bad. The movie is nothing but one illogical scenario after another held in place by the necessity of the next illogical happenstance. None of the character motivations make any sense and the science was more fantasy than sci fi. Worst movie I’ve seen this year. Worst big budget movie I’ve seen since Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon.
Two different families walked out of my showing. Hell, we almost left after one section of dialogue was so poorly edited together the sync of audio-to-lip movement was off. Alas, we stayed and finished it. First time in forever I’ve wanted my money back after the end of a film.
In summation: Go into this with zero expectations and a bucket of buttery corn and you should at least enjoy your food.
Final Judgment: All animals react peaceably to one another if they’re of the same species, right? That’s science, right?
Original post: edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1190354/jurassic-world-mini-movie-review
Can Anyone Recommend This?
The synopsis and blurb have me stoked, but I cannot imagine this living up to the hype. A dark fantasy for fans of Neil Gaiman and Joe Hill about missing gods and libraries? Oh come on… No way this is half as good as it needs to be.
So what say you? Have any of you read this? Should run out and buy it or wait for a library copy?
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1190215/can-anyone-recommend-this
June 23, 2015
Snuff Review
Review:
I’m not gonna beat around the bush. Snuff is as enjoyable as a wet fart in a hot shower. This is also the book that started Palahniuk’s dive into mediocrity and self parody. Pygmy is the deepest depth to which Chuck sank before grabbing the life preserver that was Damned, at least in my opinion. I know people still think he hasn’t written a good book since Diary, but I thought his romp in Hell was big fun.
This is my second time reading this one, and I only gave it another chance because a) I had a spare Audible code, b) it was short, coming in at just under 5 hours, and c) I figured maybe the book would be better if I listened to it. Hey! It’s happened before, I swear!
The premise is simple. Instead of the Houston 500 (the real-life super orgy wherein 500 dudes all try and hump a porn queen name Houston), you have 600 rock-hard chaps snackin’ and slappin’ and plottin’ to be a part of Cassie Wright’s final spacklin’ party. During this time, we’re led to believe that Cassie might be related to one of her bones-at-the-throne. And that’s about it. There’s the signature Palahniuk twist and shocking ending, only this one is more befitting an episode of Columbo than it is a novel from the writer of such mind-blowingly original shit asInvisible Monsters and Choke.
Snuff reads as if Chuck Palahniuk simply wanted to see how many faux-adult-film parodies he could title before the end of the book. Not a single movie reference was funny. In fact, most of Palahniuk’s witty humor is missing in action. I think I laughed once, and that was because I couldn’t believe how it ended. Not because I was shocked but because I couldn’t believe that THATwas supposed to be the twist. Kinda like opening a Mystery-Flavored Airhead and finding the word PINEAPPLE stamped across a strip of white taffy.
In summation: Sadly, this is only the first in a series of total letdowns from one of my favorite authors. I don’t talk about Chuck Palahniuk enough, but the guy’s one of my literary heroes. It always hurts when I hate something from him, as it does when Stephen King lets me down. My advice is to stay away fromSnuff. There really is nothing noteworthy going on here. Just an author lurching through the motions and stumbling over his own feet.
Final Judgment: A Ron Jeremy product placement.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1189333/snuff-review
Haunted Review
Review:
First off, this is not the short story collection I was expecting. It is actually a single-author antho-novel hybrid fulla leprechaun jism and other awesome rainbow flavors. Wait… what? No, I mean to say, never write reviews while on Norco, Soma, and about 2 hours’ worth of sleep outta 36.
I’ve been trying to catch some Zs since I got home from my latest hospital stay and it’s not going so well. So what’s better than fighting sleep? Drug-addled reviews. Raise the roof and down the proof!
Standout favorites herein have to be “Guts”, “Hot Potting”, “Swan Song”, and the uber-disturbing gender-role swapping of “Speaking Bitterness”. The latter actually made me physically uncomfortable while reading it. One powerful goddamn story, friends and neighbors.
In fact, if it wasn’t for the poetry (the poetry might be awesome and perfect in its poetry goodness, but I haven’t a fuck to find for fancy verse) this would have been a five-star read for me. All the poems felt repetitive, the exact same in style and structure. I stopped reading them halfway through, and then went back and read all the ones I skipped. Didn’t feel like I missed anything. Then again, I’m not into… well, you get the idea. Overall, I think they were filler. Not sure why they were needed because this book is almost twice as long as Palahniuk’s most popular novels.
In summation: You have to enjoy high-class low-brow humor to dig this one. Me? I’m all for anal carrots and cream-filled CPR dummies. Bring on Make Something Up!
Final Judgment: Glow-in-the-dark covers are rad. *waves at Nettie and Jess*
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1189319/haunted-review
I missed all the fun!
I was planning on crashing as soon as I got home from the hospital but my new meds have me a little jittery. Alas, I cracked open the old laptop and find all these righteously cool posts about following and followers and mentioning newbies and all this other great stuff.
I wanna help! Someone wanna fill me in on how to get started? There are figuratively nine thousand posts today about this topic and it would take me a month to weed through them all. I think it started with Hunger For Knowledge, but I could be wrong. So… maybe the gist of how you guys are promoting littler-known blogs would help at first.
Comment away, and I’ll read everything over tomorrow.
*hugs and high fives and stay awesome you awesome-type awesome folks*
E.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1189238/i-missed-all-the-fun
MIA
One or two of you might have noticed my absence from BookLikes as of late. I have, once again, been in the hospital because of my recurring back problems. I submitted to the ER on Friday afternoon with numbness in my right leg and other symptoms I will not disgust you with. They immediately transferred me 180 miles south by ambulance to Mobile, Alabama, where my neurosurgeon’s practice is located.
Fast forward to today. I might go home. I might not. I’m waiting for the neurologist to write discharge orders, and for some reason he still hasn’t come by to see me. Not once. If they do not do another surgery to relieve the pressure on my nerves I will be confined to a wheelchair for an indeterminate amount of time, as my right leg can no longer bear weight. I foresee some physical therapy in my future. Yay me.
Anyway, to anyone wondering where I am—here I am, stuck in a holding pattern of sorts. I have plenty to read and write, but I just want to go home. Hopefully, today’s my day.
To all my well wishers, thanks in advance. If I do not respond to your comments, know that I don’t mean any offense. Internet here is shoddy at best, and I only have my tablet, which is hit and miss when it comes to letting me comment on BookLikes.
*hugs and high fives*
E.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1188940/mia
June 18, 2015
FOG WARNING has a new cover!
This version should be live on Amazon in the next 12 hours. If you already have the book and would like the new cover, the update feature on Amazon should work tomorrow at this time. For Nook and Kobo users, the book will be available on those platforms in August.
“Tick, tock, tickety, tock. Time’s slipping away, doc … ”
Emergency Room Physician Brent Cummings is harboring secrets he’d rather leave in the shadows of his past. But, when he finds a dead woman in a foggy park, all his skeletons come tumbling out of the closet.
In a deadly race against time, Brent attempts to alter the future so that he might finally let go of the past.
Will he heed the warning in the fog, or will fate prove more dependable than the good doctor?
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1186369/fog-warning-has-a-new-cover
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