Edward Lorn's Blog, page 62
July 12, 2015
Reading progress update: I’ve read 10%.
And awaaaaaaaaay we go!
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1200629/reading-progress-update-i-ve-read-10
The Murderer’s Daughter Review
Review: 
For those of you looking for a thriller, don’t look here. I know, I know, it’s being marketed as a thriller and a known thriller author wrote it, but it’s not a thriller. If you’re planning on reading this and expecting a taut read full of suspense and grisly shenanigans, you will be sorely disappointed. Still, the book’s damn good. Let me tell you why.
The Murderer’s Daughter is a character-driven piece of literature that focuses on the past and present of psychologist Dr. Grace Blades. She’s a broken individual who uses her own issues to help others. She’s also hyper sexual and totally comfortable in her own skin. No slut shaming in this book. Lady gets down tobidness, lemme tell you, and never apologizes. I appreciate Kellerman writing a woman such as Grace without once giving the reader the feeling that she should be judged for digging a bit of the three Fs: find em, fuck em, and forget em. Well done.
But where this novel truly shines is the backstory. Kellerman effortlessly hops from present day to Grace’s childhood and upbringing. These flashbacks were my favorite parts. Smiles were had. Tears were shed. As Yoda would say, a very engaging structure this book has. (Be honest, you read that in Yoda’s voice, didn’t you?) Every time you begin to grow bored with Grace’s present-day duties, Kellerman pops you into the past. Without these travels through time, The Murderer’s Daughter wouldn’t have been nearly half as entertaining.
My only complaints are very minor. In fact, one complaint I have holds no bearing on the content of the book. The title of the novel is crap and the cover is garbage. That’s my biggest complaint. If I saw that title with that cover showcased at Books-a-Million or in a thumbnail on Amazon I’d navigate right past it without a second glance. It doesn’t fit the content. My second complaint is that some of Grace’s internet scouring and conversations get a bit long winded. I found myself checking the progress bar on my Kindle app during most of these scenes. The driving directions were equally boring. Other than that, the book is rad.
Finally, the ending is pretty brutal, and the final chapter is brilliant. Hell of a way to close out a damn fine story.
In summation: I’m a newbie to the world of Kellerman but this novel has me wanting to tackle his back catalogue. The Murderer’s Daughter was so much more than what I was expecting. This guy can write, and that’s such a rare thing in a genre polluted with Patterson clones.
Final Judgement: No such thing as deserve
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1200493/the-murderer-s-daughter-review
July 11, 2015
Digging Up the Marrow Movie Review
Review: 
I like Adam Green. He makes great cheese. His horror movies are horror movies for horror movie fans. This? This didn’t feel like that. It felt like a horror movie for fans of Adam Green horror movies. I’m pretty sure that was intended.
It’s been a long time since I’ve watched such a middle-of-the-road film. 2.5 stars is all this movie deserves, but it earns all 2.5. I guess what I’m trying to say is, if Adam Green was shooting for mediocrity, he fucking nailed it.
Digging Up the Marrow is another found-footage horror film. It does absolutely nothing new. The coolest part about the entire film are the drawings Ray Wise shows during the numerous (and mostly yawn-inducing) interviews. The character designs are great, but the actual special FX makeup and CGI is horrible. Nowhere is this more obvious than with the multi-armed thing that attacks them in the car. The last time I saw a computer-generated gaping mouth that bad was while playing Pac-Man in the 80s.
Back to Ray Wise for a moment. I hate that he was in this. He’s a terrific actor, but he’s an actor. A well-known actor. You know he’s an actor. I know he’s an actor. Adam Green plays himself, so it’s weird that Ray Wise plays this Dekker character. The whole movie I’m saying to myself, “You’re not Dekker. You’re Ray Wise.”
The plot of the movie is ripped directly from Clive Barker’s Cabal, or if you will, his film, Nightbreed. It’s a pretty blatant theft too. There’s this city underground where only monsters live. But the monsters aren’t really evil. They just want to be left alone. Man is the truly evil one for wanting to disturb them… blah blah blah. The premise is stolen, and that’s all you really need to know.
The only way this movie really works is as a comedy, but only a handful of the gags and jokes are actually funny. Adam Green tries too hard with the “Oh lordy, this guy is crazy so I should whisper to the camera and roll my eyes constantly!” ala The Office. Adam Green’s not a terrible actor, he’s not a bad director either, but he sure as shit is not funny.
In summation: Digging Up the Marrow isn’t fucking terrible, but it isn’t fucking great either. It’s right in the middle. It’s serviceable as a film. You will have watched a full movie if you finish this movie. I don’t know what else to tell you.
Final Judgment: On par with the really good short films you can find on YouTube and commercials for Halloween-themed cereal.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1200209/digging-up-the-marrow-movie-review
Playing at the Lorn Complex tonight…
Anybody seen it? Anybody want to see it?
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1200176/playing-at-the-lorn-complex-tonight
Guess Words #4
It’s been awhile since we played this game. Mainly because I get these words from Dictionary.com’s Word of the Day and they’ve been boring for the past couple of weeks. Today’s is a doozy, so I figured we’d have some fun.
If you don’t know how to play, no worries. Here are the rules:
At the end of this post, I will give you a word. You need to define that word. But there’s a catch. I don’t want the real meaning. I want your meaning. Moreover, I want you to make me laugh. Think of the most outlandish possible definition for the word.
This is all for fun. No prizes, sorry. Making each other smile is the point of the game.
Your Guess Word is:
flumadiddle
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1199840/guess-words-4
July 10, 2015
Another Guest Post from an Author Trying to Sell His New Book
(Author’s Note: This post is not new. It was originally part of my blog tour for Pennies for the Damned and was posted HERE. This version has had the promo bits edited out. Now that the tour is in the rearview, I wanted to share it with my circle of followers. I am of the mindset that the more honest I am with my readers, the more likely they are to keep reading my work. Some of this information might be a no-brainer. Then again, there might be an author or a blogger out there who has not heard this information before. If nothing else, maybe you’ll have a laugh or two.)
Another Guest Post from an Author Trying to Sell His New Book
by Edward Lorn
Do you know why we (meaning Authors) do guest posts on blog tours? You might think it’s because we want you to buy our books. Well, that’s the desired end result, innit? But do I expect you to read one blog post and run out and buy my newest book and become my biggest fan and totes go cray-cray in public forums about your new fandom, namely ME!? Nope. Here’s what happens when you see an author’s name pop up in your email because he or she has been hosted by your favorite book blogger.
It’s called “saturation”, and it’s only bad when it comes to fat. You might not even be reading this anymore, but you’ve made note of my name up there in the byline. Now when I pop up somewhere else, you’ll think, “Hey, I’ve heard of that guy.” Then, maybe the time after that or the time after that, you’ll say to yourself, “I’m seeing this guy everywhere. What’s the dealio?” Mayhap you buy one of my books or you download a freebie or you catch a sale, and BAM! my witty wordplay and perfect prose locks you in for life. (The sarcasm drips…) Statistics say (and we know stats are NEVER WRONG!) you (the consumer) have to see something seven times before you’ll purchase it. Of course, this is an average. Some circus chap once said, “A sucker is born every second,” but so are frugal and simply indecisive people. Which are you? Lawdy, I don’t know, so I guest post and offer review copies and smile for the camera and hope you give me a shot simply because you’ve seen me frakkin’ EVERYWHERE!
I don’t want to sell you a book. I want to tell you a story. I’m one of the lucky ones. I do this for a living. I’m also smart enough to know that none of this would be possible without you, the reader. So, if you would, read something of mine. Review it if you want to. If nothing else, let me know what you think. I don’t bite, I promise.
If you’ve made it to the end of this post, thank you for giving me your attention. Look me up on social media. I’m kinda everywhere. In the meantime…
*hugs and high fives*
E.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1199492/another-guest-post-from-an-author-trying-to-sell-his-new-book
Reading progress update: I’ve read 30%.
So there’s this cameo by Alex Delaware that I think is remarkable because Alex Delaware is the star of Jonathan Kellerman’s main series. This novel, however, is a standalone starring Grace Blades. The cool part about Delaware’s cameo is, I had no idea it was a cameo, and the author didn’t make me feel as if I needed to read other books to understand why this guy pops up. I only found out Delaware was a cameo because I’m enjoying this one so much that I’ve been looking up other Kellerman books.
Well played, Jonathan Kellerman. Well played.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1199354/reading-progress-update-i-ve-read-30
One of my Goombas (Coal, or if you’re my wife and daug...
One of my Goombas (Coal, or if you’re my wife and daughter, Coaltrain) did not appreciate the fact that I wanted to read Harry Potter, so he decided to try and sleep on my book.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1199266/post
July 9, 2015
Randomized Randomocity #165
Donald Trump has been quoted saying that he cannot guarantee that he’s never employed undocumented workers.
Well no shit. No business owner can guarantee such things. The problem lies in how vehemently he has lobbied against undocumented workers.
I liken this to the Duggar incest scandal. Two years ago, Papa Duggar said those guilty of incest should be put to death.
The moral of the story is:
If you can’t personally guarantee you or someone you know isn’t guilty of something, shut the fuck up about it.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1199060/randomized-randomocity-165
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