Christopher B. Wright's Blog, page 9

Poor Long-Term Planning

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CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 License. Comic Transcript

ALEX: So you’re here because you want to check up on the tech support we’re providing on Twitter’s behalf?

ELON MUSK: (Carrying FAN CLUB.) That’s right.

ALEX: … I don’t buy it.

MONK: Not even a little bit.

ELON MUSK: Seriously… I want to make sure technical support is operating smoothly and there aren’t any problems.

ALEX: No.

MONK: Nope.

ELON MUSK: C’mon, I just...

A Rake by Starlight Podcast, Episode Seven

Chapters 20-22

Everything was going relatively well until the corpse showed up alive. Things unravel quickly after that.

Always Let Your Something Be Your Guide

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CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 License. Comic Transcript

ALEX: Is there any particular reason you’re here?

ELON MUSK: (Carrying FAN CLUB.) I’m here to see how the whole “outsource Twitter support to Ubersoft” thing is going.

MONK: Not well. Everything is chaos. Everyone is angry. And not in a good way.

ELON MUSK: What is wrong with these people? Can’t they see I’m trying to – what’s that?

ALEX: What’s… what?

FAN CLUB: (Indis...

The Man Himself

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CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 License. Comic Transcript

MONK: I really hope the Boss pulls us off this Twitter support role soon. I don’t even know what to tell people any more.

ALEX: Whenever they complain about whatever it is they’re doing over there, I just laugh, letting a little bitterness seep in, then i say “yeah, tell me about it.” For some reason that seems to help.

ELON MUSK: (Carrying a fan attached to a club.) It is I, E...

This Is Normal, Right?

Photo by W.carter, downloaded from Wikimedia Commons

So the moral of this story is “don’t switch site templates at the same time you restart a webcomic.” The short explanation is “I felt like I had to,” and the longer explanation is boring. Suffice to say that I felt like I needed to get it done instead of putting it off, and that willingness not to procrastinate taught me an important lesson in procrastination: Sometimes, It’s Good For You.

Anyway, the site is sporting a new template and ...

Internal Consistency

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CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 License. Comic Transcript

ALEX: At the end of the day it’s all pretty simple: if you want to know what Twitter’s policies are, just follow Elon Musk’s Twitter account. His most recent tweet will always reflect Twitter’s current policy.

CUSTOMER: What if he changes his mind? Like, three, maybe four times a day?

ALEX: That doesn’t happen.

CUSTOMER: Do you need m e to pull out my collection of screensho...

The Ministry of Truth

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CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 License. Comic Transcript

ALEX: While Twitter maintains we are fully justified in our actions to ban users who are engaged in doxxing and other dangerous activities, we recognize that the specific rules we’ve put in place may be a little difficult to fully understand.

CUSTOMER: You don’t say.

ALEX: To alleviate this problem we’ve brought in our best Tech Writer to sort through all the decisions made ove...

A Circle and a Half

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CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 License. Comic Transcript

CUSTOMER: Look. It should be obvious to ANYONE that I am not colluding in a far-reaching effort to assassinate one of the richest men in the world. I’m just writing a story about everything going on in Twitter and how its CEO appears to be slowly unraveling at the seams.

ALEX: The Press isn’t exempt from the Twitter Terms of Service.

CUSTOMER: I didn’t violate the terms of serv...

My Life as an Internet Spotter

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CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 License.

Comic Transcript

CUSTOMER: There was no plot, neither complicated nor nefarious. I haven’t tried to assassinate Elon Musk or anyone else, for that matter.

ALEX: Our records say you doxxed him by tweeting “assassination coordinates.”

CUSTOMER: … by tweeting what?

ALEX: “Assassination Coordinates.”

CUSTOMER: “Assassination Coordinates?”

ALEX: Assassination Coordinates.

CUSTOMER: …...

Complicated and Nefarious

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CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 License.

Comic Transcript

ALEX: (Sighs.) Temporary Emergency Twitter Technical Support, Alex speaking. How can I help you today?

CUSTOMER: Why was my account disabled???

ALEX: You should have received an email explaining exactly why your account was disabled.

CUSTOMER: The email claims I was involved in a “complicated and nefarious plot to assassinate Elon Musk.”

(Silence.)

ALEX: Were you?

...