Leon Scott Baxter's Blog, page 34

Whitney Conformed to Bobby's Lifestyle

We need to realize that we really can rub off on our spouses. They can become more like us or we can become more like them. That can be good, or it could be not so good. I eat wheat bread and brown rice today, because over the year I became more like my wife in that respect.

But, when we first started dating, when the alarm went off in the morning, I was out of my bed in no time, up and ready for the day. My wife, on the other hand, was one of those "put it back on snooze and try again in five minutes" people. I didn't get it. When it's time to wake up, you get up. Yet, slowly, I never saw it happen rally, I became one of those slwo rises. I still never use the snooze, but I open my eyes and lay there for a couple minutes. then, I sit on the edge of the bed. Then, I creep to the bathroom and try to wake up. What the heck happened to me? I became my wife!

In all seriousness, though, these transformatins I mention are harmless, but they aren't always.

We lost Whitney Houstin this weekend. I remember when I held her first album (really it was a cassette), with her hair pulled back and that peachish toga looking thing draped over her shoulders. Like every other guy in my high school, I couldn't get enough of the future diva. Her music was terrific. She was attractive and wholesome. I was stunned when she married Bobby Brown in 1992. Hi flame had already been extinguished and it was all too apparent to many of us that he was just riding her dive coattails, while pulling all the strings.

I'm sure Whitney never intended to get wrapped up with drugs as her new husband had. She may have evenconsidered him tranfroming to be more like her and rid himself of his substance abusing ways. But, like me and my alarm clock, Whitney found herself taking on some of her man's traits. By 2007 she was fd up with Bobby's domestic abuse as well as drug abuse and divorced the former New Edition member. But, she couldn't shake the traits she picked up from him.

If for some reason my wife and I separated, I still would not be beack to jumping up when the alarm clock sounded. This is who I have become due to my marriage. Whitney lead a dangerous lifestyle becuase of her marriage to Bobby and eventually it cost her life.

So, what's my point? Be careful who you decide to be with. If you see they are leading a destructive lfe, odds are you will either convince them to stop due to your ways, or you will conform to their ways. Is that a risk you are willing to take? If it's brown rice and alarm clocks, maybe. But, if it's drugs and alcohol. think again. Marriage is not for saving someone. It's supposed to be for support, love and security.

RIP Whitney.

Valentine's Day on "The Middle"

So, I'm watching ABC's The Middle this week and I can't help but to laugh out loud. It's a Valentine's Day episode. And, the mom and dad who've been married nineteen years and who have three kids ranging in ages from 10 to 17 have decided how they will spend their Valentine's Day together. They don't want to go out to dinner; it'll be too crowded. They don't want to go to the movies; they'd just fall asleep, and they could just do that at home. She doesn't want him bringing home candy or flowers; too expensive and no real meaning. So they decide to stay home and watch TV… in their sweats, but because he'll want to watch sports, they'll do this in separate rooms. They small, content and tell each other "Happy Valentine's Day."

Why do I love this? Because I get it. My wife and I never go out to dinner or the movies on Valentine's Day because everyone else does. And, I don't buyher the traditional gifts because there's no cretivity in buying what the commercials are telling me that she wants. No, we are not going to separate rooms in our sweats to watch TV this Valentine's Day, but when we get date nights, often we just like to stay home and cuddle in bed and watch a movie or read to each other on the couch.

I know, not what society tells us romance is. But that's what makes it work. When a couple feels close enough where they can truly express what makes them feel loved and cared for, even if it goes agaiinst society's rules, then you've got a couple who are at ease with one another nad get love and romance.

This Valentine's Day, feel free to do the roses and See's candy. nothing wrong with that if that's what floats your boat, but if yo want to stay home and bake cookies, play scrabble or tend the garden together, don't feel guilty that you didn't make Valentine's Day a Hallmark card commercial. It's not about everyone else. It's about the two of you.

Jealous Over Video Games

Seriously?!

I was watching ABC News' special, "Hollywed," today. It was an hour of how Hollywood marriages differ from the rest of the world's: the positive, the negative, the publicity and the money.

They were interviewing Jason Alexander (no, not that one; the one that Britney Spears married and annulled 55 hours later) about his short-lived knot-tie with the pop singer.

See, before talking with Alexander, they discussed how James Cameron's wife got $50 million after they divorce and how Mel Gibson's ex received nearly half a billion bucks (yes, that's "billion" with a "b") when their marriage went kaput. The way ABC was setting this all up was as though when you divorced a celeb you deserved some cash.

Back to Alexander: they drew this picture of how Britney invited her long-time buddy to Vegas for New Years, flew him in on her private jet. The two got sloshed and she asked him to marry her. He thought, "What the heck?" and soon they were tying the knot at The Little White Chapel, with Britney in baseball cap and exposed belly.

Now, this wasn't an impromptu marriage of a couple in love and who had been dating. It was an impromptu marriage of two friends (with benefits) who were tanked in Vegas. So, it only made sense that when the couple came to their senses they Britney reversed the charges, anulling the marriage because, really, it was a huge mistake.

So, here's what gets me. ABC says, "Alexander arrived in Vegas in a private jet, but then was sent home on coach," as if he deserved more than that. Then, Alexander had the audacity to follow that up with advice for non-Hollywood folks, telling us, that if youever get married to a celeb, think of it as a business deal, because he didn't get a cent from this 55 hour marriage. Really!? Are you kidding me? Does he really think that he deserved some of the pop star's millions because he happened to be in the right place and drunk with her?

The idea of getting cash out of the marriage is that some of that money is deserved. And, by the way, the idea of marriage is to commit yourself to one person for a lifetime of love; it's not a business contract.Shame on Alexander to express his sour grapes on air and even more shame on ABC for implying he deserved more than a free trip to Vegas and booty call with a pop star for his two and a half days as Mr. Spears. Give me a break!

He Got Her Pregnant

Door Jams and Carnations

So, I caught the 2003 movie, Just Married, about a young couple who feel their marriage is over after  disastrous honeymoon, starring Ashton Kutcher (the irony). There were a couple things in this romantic comedy that got me thinking about terms and traditions having to do with weddings.

The first is the groom carrying his bride over the threshold. I know that a man is supposed to do this upon entering their ome for the first time. depending upon the culture you research, it has something to do with kidnappings or luck and omens. But, here's my question…what happens if the groom carries his bride over the honeymoon suite threshold? you know, we fellas get a bit over zealous at times and jump the gun. So, does that mean that we no longer need to do the whole threshold thig again once we get home after the honeymoon?

And, if we are not exempt from this woman-carrying will it still keep us safe from kidnapping or keep the bad spirits at bay? I mean, did we waste the good stuff on the honeymoon suite, or will it still work at home? Is it a one-shot tradition? If not, can we just do it everytime we come home? I mean, we've been married 24 years coming home after grocery shopping. Should we still carry her over the threshold? Will it keep the bad stuff at bay? Just wondering.

The other thing was the word "deflower." Is that a term we only use for taking the virginity of a woman? I mean, it sure sounds sweet and nice. "De" as a prefix means removal. And the "flower" represent a woman's genitals. So, in essence, it means removing her genitals. Ewww, not so sweet any more. But, I get it. It's taking away the innocence of her flower. But, my question is can we use that word in a different context? Can a gardener deflower his yard? I've never heard it used any other way, but I think we should start. Right after we carry our wives across the threshold after she comes home from work, we should deflower the vase. Those petunias have been in there for over a month.

Looking for Drama

Go for the Gold, Carnie

Last night on Celebrity Wife Swap (yes, I watch reality shows…so, sue me) Tracey Gold and Carnie Wilson switched places for a week and tried living with each others families. So, at the beginning of the show, each "new wife" finds a manual from the "old wife" explaining how the household is run. Wilson Phillips singer, Carnie Wilson's manual (the one she left fro Growing Pains star, Tracey Gold) said that she and her husband didn't spend much time together and were like "ships passing in the night." Hello… first red flag!

So, turns out at the Wilson household, hubby, Ron, stays in his recording studio until late into the night and never eat meals with his family. Now, get this; at the Wilson homestead, there's a couple nannies, a housekeeper, a grounds guy, and probably someone to wipe your behind. At the Gold's place, they do it all. And, their house is modest in comparison to Carnie's.

But, when it came time for the couples to reunite, who do you think received flowers? Who was obviously overjoyed to be back in each others arms? Who kissed and kissed and kissed again? It was Tracy and her beau. And, who was obviously a bit jealous and even verbalized it? Carnie and her recluse of a man. In other words, even though they had the bigger house and had hired help, they weren't truly happy, and they wanted what Tracey and her hubby had.

Look, it's simple. Most of us are guilty of it. We know that we want a great relationship, but we think that money, success, work, etc will offer immediate gratification, so we invest in them, leaving our relationships to fend for themselves. Then we wonder why we don't have a marriage like the Seavers, er, uh, I mean Golds. Carnie said, "You two make it look so easy."

I love that they responded that it's no easy, that they work at it. Because, like anything else worthwhile, you must work at it. It's an investment. It takes time and effort and resources. But, it's an investment that's nearly guaranteed to reap incredible dividends!

Let's Make a Best Seller!

10 Things You Can Do to Make The Finance of Romance a Best Seller

 

If I've learned anything in life, I've learned that one of the most important things is having great friends! We're going to do our best to make this book a best seller and here's what you can do to help. I appreciate anything and everything you're able to do!!

 

1. Buy it!

I would be honored if you chose to buy it for yourself and for any of your friends or colleagues. It is available at Chaucer's in Santa Barbara or by going to my website (www.CouplesCommittedToLove.com) or Amazon.

 

2. Email

Email everyone! Word-of-mouth is one of the best recommendations anyone can receive. It would be great if you could email your friends and tell them about The Finance of Romance and where they can purchase it.

Need help? Here's is a suggested email you can send:

"My good friend, Leon Scott Baxter, America's Romance Guru has just written a book that's soon to become a best seller. It's entitled The Finance of Romance: Investing in Your Relationship Portfolio. It's available at Amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com/Finance-Romance...), and CouplesCommittedToLove.com. He's spoken with over 20,000 people about love, romance and relationships and this book makes it simple to apply techniques to form a balanced, strong and healthy relationship."

 

3. Facebook

Facebook has become a great place to tell friends about friends! Anything you are able to post on your own Facebook page about the book, either your thoughts about the book or about Leon, would be greatly appreciated! Please like our Facebook page and share it with your friends! IMPORTANT: Sharing our Facebook page with your friends and encouraging them to also like it can be one of the best ways to spread the word for The Finance of Romance to become a best seller!!

 

4. Tweet

If you have a Twitter account, one way to make things go viral is to tweet about the book because Twitter is able to reach a large number of people. Some tweet topics include 'you are buying a book', 'giving the book as a gift', 'passing it out to co-workers and employees', attach a picture of where you're reading it, shout-out your favorite chapter or re-tweet someone else's comments. The key is to keep the conversation going with the Twitteratti!!

 

A sample tweet could be: I just read The Finance of Romance from Leon Scott Baxter and you should too!! Order it here http://www.amazon.com/Finance-Romance...

 

 

5. Webinar

A great way to utilize Leon's expertise is to invite him to do a Webinar you may be hosting or by suggesting him to someone you may know who is utilizing this online medium. Think about using Leon and the topics around The Finance of Romance as the subject matter for your Webinar discussion. Contact Leon via Lewski711@gmail.com to schedule your Webinar soon.

 

6. Media

Interviews! Interviews! Interviews!! TV, radio, newspaper, magazine, newsletters, blogs, online or offline media!! If you have any contacts to any online, offline, print or broadcast media where Jeff could be interviewed about the book, please contact him at Lewski711@gmail.com.

 

7. Blog

Do you have a blog or know someone who does? If so, consider an interview with Leon or write about your own personal interactions with him. You may also want to blog about your favorite topics from the book. If your blog is a business one, and you would like to do some kind of promotion or give-away with the book, please contact me about your ideas.

 

8. Pictures

Pictures is worth a thousand words – so take a picture of yourself in an interesting place and post it on http://www.facebook.com/FinanceOfRomance, your own blog or tweet one.

 

9. Word of Mouth

No rocket science here – tell co-workers, friends, family, and people on the street: "Have you read the new blockbuster by Leon Scott Baxter called The Finance of Romance?

 

10. Write a review

Go to Amazon or Barnes & Noble and write your own takeaways and thoughts as a result of reading The Finance of Romance. Some already have and we would welcome your recommendation too! We also have a Q&A at Good Reads.

 

Thanks in advance for your help to making the The Finance of Romance a best seller!!!

Her Broke Her Trust