Kush Srivastava's Blog, page 43

Taking Responsibility

Continuing with my love affair for the season which is but a metaphor for the number of marriages that are taking place in the same, I am but forced to write about a phenomenon that struck me recently but it has been in existence for some time now.

And the phenomenon that I am talking about is what our forefathers used to call “ladka sasuralia banta jaa raha hai”. Initially when I used to listen to the phrase, it sounded real funny, but on digging deeper I realized that what all has been said by our forefathers in the past, there has been some reason or the other for such a narration.

What they meant when they asserted the phrase was the phenomenon where a guy starts to disrespect his own parents and family and instead starts to act on the whims of his newly adopted family which is but a reflection of the wishes of his in-laws and wife and at times his own sweet will camouflaged under the wishes of the former, running away from all the responsibilities that he has towards his family.

It might be a trend that it is evolving due to increasing individualization of the mentality and the increasing disintegration of the family system that we as Indians used to take great pride in.

I do believe that things certainly change after marriage with the addition of a new member in a family, but instead of parting ways with one’s responsibilites towards the people who have contributed in the making of what one is, one must ensure that his parents are given all the due respect and affection and attention which they need the most in the penultimate years of their lives.

Source for Image: http://www.sott.net/articles/show/154742-Taking-Responsibility

Season of Marriages

Its not often that you see so many marriages of your friends taking place in the same month with your friends all set to loose their single and ready to mingle status. It seems like the whole batch of friends that I had at IIT Kanpur will be compromised this very year .

What to talk of others, in my very own family, a marriage and an engagement will be taking place this very month. If we dig a little deeper into this phenomenon of so many marriages taking place during a span of a couple of months, what comes to the fore is the reason for the same which jots down to our beliefs in Astrology and “Muharrat” decided by the saffron clad pundits or the jyotishis in our country.

It is amazing how a country and her traditions and culture are being run whose foundations boil down to the so called Science of Astrology. No matter how much one denies his or her belief in Astrology and tries to express his or her antipathy towards the same; at the end of the day one falls prey to the the very illogical and at times baffling suggestions given by the very Science.

This brings us to the question as to why this Science forms such an important part pf our culture and lives? Is it because of the inability of an individual to explain certain phenomenon happening in his or her surroundings? Is it because of the curiosity emanating from the very desire of human beings to know about their future? Is it because of the fear of the consequences in case one doesn’t adhere to the advice that the proponents of this Science has to offer? or Is it because of our beliefs in the same which in turn are generated because of all the above?

The reasons could be many of the above or all of the above, but what matters the most is to realize that we have got so accustomed of following the advices of our gurus and pundits that we, at times, tend to ignore the very logic bestowed upon us by the Divine and end up doing things which the whole humanity would surely be ashamed about.

It is not that I am against Astrology, but the point that I am trying to put forward is that one should not go on blindly following the same or blindly doing what one’s pundits tell us to do. As long as Astrology is acting as a support system similar to our belief in God or similar to the services that might be provided by a Psychiatrist, it is bound to function with positive consequences for an individual.

The moment it breaches this fine line between support system and what we call in Hindi Andhvishwas or the blind faith; it starts to have extremely negative consequences; and the individual seems to get caught in this vicious circle formed by the advices of the pundits and gurus resulting in disintegration of his/her persona; which one should certainly not allow to happen.

Source for Image: http://www.freeindianmatrimony.com/matrimony-articles/Marriage.html

Say Sid

I was watching this Mango Fruti advertisement in the morning where the guy is very shy and is unable to express his feelings to a girl in his college whom he likes and then on his convocation day he finally asks the girl to share his Fruti.

I am sure many might have seen this advertisement and I am sure that many amongst us might have encountered the same kind of dilemma of deciding on whether to approach a girl with all our feelings or whether not to do the same with the fear of getting rejected.

On the other hand there are some who cross the line and resort to means which might threaten the very integrity of love. The other day, I was talking to a couple of guys after giving one of my lectures on relationships and they were telling me how girls, at times, have not accepted their proposals even after being pursued and how they went about doing it.

The stories ranged from following girls on bikes to at times whistling in order to attract their attention without being really aware of the consequences of their acts. For those who do such things, they come under the purview of the law under the eve-teasing offense, and can be booked for such an act. For the girls who are made to go through this, her pysche might get affected by the very act and can have grave social consequences for her and her family.

While it is good to express one’s feelings towards a person, one should always remember that there is a very fine line between expressing love and intimidating a person. Thus, it becomes extremely important to ensure that one doesn’t cross this line and delve into indecent acts.

All Sids out there, you must make a note of very essence of love and the responsibilites that come along as a part and parcel:

“Love is a very beautiful emotion. It is extremely important to understand the very meaning of love and it must be differentiated from the vices such as lust and madness. On one hand where it leads to positivity and a feeling of belongingness, on the other hand it can lead to misery and destruction in case one’s proposal is not accepted and in case one decides to cross the line.

At the end of the day, we all would want to behave in a responsible manner, some might do so because of the fear of the consequences and some might do so for the nobility and the goodness of the same. It is for you to decide on which side of the table you would want to be and you clearly know what side I would vouch for you to be in.”

Source for Image: http://blog.blanknoise.org/2009/04/street-sign-no-misbehaving-no-eve.html

IPL vis-a-vis GF

There was a very interesting conversation which took place between two of my friends yesterday and I happened to be present there that very moment.

The crux of the discussion was the growing rift between one of my friends and his girlfriend. On one hand where my friend leaves no stone unturned in saying that Cricket is in the air, on the other hand his girlfriend beats him all ends up in putting forth the point that she is supposed to be the most important person in his life and instead of Cricket love is supposed to be in the air.

And below are some arguments that both the parties have put forth in order to prove their own respective points again and again:

My Friend’s take on the topic:

“I love the game and what the heck! Can’t she cooperate with me for just a couple of days? And moreover I give her all the time in the World. It’s just those few hours when I come back from office in the evening that I like to spend my time watching the likes of Tendulkars and Pollards hit the ball out of the ground. Enough is enough. I can’t go on like this living my life on her terms.”

My Friend’s GF’s take on the same:

“From morning till evening, we both are in office. The only time that we get to talk to each other is in the evening and then too he has to sit in the front of the idiot box and watch those stupid cricketers running around that stupid ball in that stupid field.It’s like placing me after Cricket in his priority list. Am I that insignificant for him?”

Well, let us ignore the number of “stupids” mentioned by my friend’s GF and try to come down to who is right and who is wrong and what should be done in order to resolve this stupid controversy .

From guy’s perspective, he feels constrained by his GF, not able to do what he likes doing and if we look at it from girl’s perspective, she expects her guy to give her a lot of attention as she believes that she is entitled to the above for all the things she might have done for the guy.

It is just that a guy and a girl think very differently. It is said that when a girl loves someone she dedicates each and every part of her self to the guy, at the same time making sure that the guy does the same for her (ofcourse not applicable in all cases but on most occasions). On the other hand when a guy loves a girl, he doesn’t want to part away with his own personal freedom and wishes that the girl would respect his thinking and point of view on the same.

A number of esteemed philosophers have spent their lives trying to decipher the code but none has been able to succeed so far. They have spoken about “selfless love” but going by the practicality embedded in the same, it’s not always possible and feasable especially in the current scenario where everyone has become so individualistic and self-centred. Long gone are the days of the Heer-Ranjha, Romeo-Juliet who are still idealized and spoken of as a metaphor for the wonderful emotion that we all call love.

Coming back to the real World and having said the above, at the end of the day, we all need to go beyond thinking just about ourselves. We need to give respect to other’s point of view in the same manner as we would like to get respect for ours. Only then, we will be able to put ourselves in other’s shoes and only then our expectations would start to converge with that of our better halves.

So, all couples out there, think about it. I am sure my fiance would be reading this one and am sure she is going all out on me in the evening today .

But on a serious note, being a sportsman myself and being a die-hard lover of the game, I have been very lucky and blessed to have got someone like my fiance who respects my love for the game and love me for the person I am without really making any efforts of sorts to bring a change in my persona. Girls, here is something which you can all try to emulate .

Source for Image: http://www.ipltracker.com/articles/2010/03/29/is-ipl-of-any-use-at-all-ipl-girl-speaks/

The Mindset

On one hand where there are mornings when you feel like you are on cloud 9, on the other hand there are mornings when you feel low and frustrated which amazes me about the various shades and facets of life.

Today was one such morning where I didn't feel like getting up and felt really frustrated and irritated, the reason being, I wasn't able to meet one of the deadlines that I had set for myself.

Having no other option but to get up, I slowly walked into my living room carrying the burden of the missed deadline coupled with a grumpy mood on my shoulders.

While munching on my daily breakfast, I heard a voice that seemed to be coming from my TV. This time around, contrary to what TV is known to some as the idiot box, it was talking no non-sense. A person clad in a choga was in fact uttering some wise words about remaining positive at all times in life and in all situations.

He kept emphasizing on the point that the mood or how one feels is in turn a complex matrix created by an individual himself/herself. So, if a person constructs that matrix himself/herself with positive thoughts, he/she is bound to feel happy and elated. While if a person choses to construct that matrix on the foundation of negative and pessimistic thoughts than he/she is bound to feel frustrated and irritated.

My link with reality and practicality was broken and it was not before an hour that I realized that I had been transported to a different World altogether, a World whose foundations were laid on the basis of the positive thoughts that had started to encircle my mind.

I felt very relaxed thereafter and here am I sharing these experiences with you, else I would be sitting in a corner of my room and would have been still mulling over my missed deadline. Now, instead of doing the above I will get back to what I am supposed to do: karm without really worrying about the fal (karm karo fal ki chinta na karo).

Before leaving on my journey of karm, I would like to emphasize upon two things:

One: it does a lot of good if we talk or listen to a wise person when we feel upset and disgruntled over something in life, it can be a psychologist or an elder in your family. This in turn draws me to a thought as to how important it is to eradicate the stereotype attached with psychologists in our country. Not everyone who goes to a psychologist is mad.

Second: it is extremely important to feed yourself with positive thoughts at all times. No matter what happens there is always a positive side that one can focus on and draw inspiration from and in turn get the strength to carry on with the journey which we all call life.

Source for Image: http://rishadt.wordpress.com/2011/08/12/mindset-architecture/

Travel Agent: Need of the Hour?

More often than not, there is a reason behind me scribbing something. A series of events in the past couple of days has motivated me to write this one.

Its not often that I try to organize a trip, for I am the kind of person who would just step out of the house and head in the direction which seems to catch my attention and which seems to tickle my curiosity about this World.

But this time around, I am trying to organize my trip. Well, lets not go into the reasons for the same but one thing I can assure you is that it is indeed for a beautiful reason that I am doing so .

While browsing through all the deals and offers that the travel/tour sites in our country seem to bombard us with, I came across one such deal which seemed to fit in my scheme of things. On digging a little deeper into the deal, what I found was really perplexing and surprising.

A number of so called hidden charges were staring me in my face, and my budget all set to shoot up to nearly one and a half times of what I had calculated earlier after seeing the deal. If this was not enough, the deal brought along with itself a hell number of taxes, not displayed in the deal.

Thank God that I hadn't booked the same. Even then, there are three things that I am wondering about constantly since I last talked to the agent.

One: how non-transparent a World we are living in?

Second: what if I had booked the same without going into the details (which many of us do at times trusting the face value of a deal)? Are there any redressal mechanisms in place where one can cite his/her greivance? Does it come under the Consumer Protection Act?
Third: If there is no rule or Act covering the same, then our government would do well to regulate this menace and play its part in this ever perpetuating phenomenon of capitalization and commercialization of our lives?
On one hand, where our lives have become much easier because of the goodies that Information Technology has to offer, one needs to be careful about the other side of the same. And in order to improve these ills, our government should step-in and perform its role of a welfare state by instilling transparency and accountability in our system.
Source for Image: http://honeymoonnation.com/honeymoon-travel-agent/

Get Up and Rock On ;)

How many times do we end up giving so many reasons for not doing something? What some might call excuses and what some might call logical assertions (it all depends on which side of the table one is seated), at the end of the day the result is inaction and inability to pursue the same.

Have we ever wondered why this is so? May be because we have got habitual of banking on excuses when nothing is going our way. May be because we have lost the will and motivation to go all out for our aims in life. May be because we have developed a pessimistic kind of an attitude towards life.

Or have we started using Destiny as our fall back for all our failures and inactions. Whatever might be the reason/excuse, there are hundreds of reasons why we wouldn't want to do something and only one reason as to why we would try really hard to achieve things which really matter in our lives.

My advice to all people out there would be to get up and get going for the clock doesn't stop for anyone.

Source for Image: http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-2859264/stock-vector-get-up.html

Anyone Interested ;)

Delhi got to me again and here I am sitting in my much vouched for room and wondering what should be my next destination.

The crowded alleys of Chandni Chowk were welcoming me with open arms once again and the metro journeys were an experience to remember.

What made it special though was the company of "the threesome awesome" who made me feel really blessed with the thought on how lucky I am to have such a good company which I wouldn't want to exchange for anything in life.

There is hell lot to discover and time is running out. May be its time for me to discover the unexplored horizons of what we all call life.

Anyone interested in joining what I call "the exploration"

Source for Image: http://mrsdell.org/explorers/

The Discovery

How wonderful are those times when we are given the luxury to wonder about those positive aspects of life that seem to get lost in the hustle-bustle of our daily lives.

Either we are too occupied with the daily chores or there are too many things going on in our mind. What is important though is to find out some time for yourself, just you and no one else.

It doesn't have to be a hill top or a river side. It could be anywhere. It could be right in your room or it could be a garden, anything that makes you feel good and which allows you to be showered by the positive thoughts.

Sometimes I wonder if it is the right time for me to hit the road again, another of those trips where I can rediscover myself. What say?

Source for Image: http://www.netcarshow.com/land_rover/2005-discovery_3/

Just Like That !

Have you ever wondered how many times have we replied: "just like that" on being asked the reason for doing something? It is quite amazing when we compare the percentage of doing things with or without any reason.

This very morning, my mom asked me a simple question: "why did you sleep late last night?" Yes, you guessed it right, and my answer was "just like that!". But was this answer motivated by my lack of awareness about myself or was it just because I didn't want to talk about the same with my mother.

This brings us to a question, is our answering behaviour influenced by our escapist tendencies or are we not interested in discussing something that we would either want to keep a secret or would not want to let it come out in the open for the world to make a judgement about ourselves.

The obvious chain of thoughts then lead us to wonder how much judgemental we as people have become. Isn't it high time to let go off the Judge in us and make this place more friendly and loving?

Source for Image: http://nojudgement.org/