Kush Srivastava's Blog, page 47

The Youngster's Dilemma

Continuing with my love for family issues, let us look at the thinking that goes behind a person who has just passed out from college and is keen on finding a goal for himself/herself.

Most of my batchmates and friends want to have a luxurious life, the kind of life one would normally dream about or see in TV or movies. And why not, they have the right to decide what they want to become and how they want to lead their lives.

But in pursuit of such a goal, sometimes these people tend to ignore their roots and their parents and set themselves on a path of selfish success and accomplishment. Why I say selfish is because of the hierarchies of priorities they decide to pursue.

Is going after one's dreams a selfish thing to do? For those, who have tread this path would want to believe that indeed you lose some you gain some and if they would have stayed back then they wouldn't have been where they are today and after all its in the nature of every species to leave their homes and take their own course, the best example of which they would want to cite as birds which leave their homes the moment they learn to fly.

For those who don't believe in the above would want to change the very meaning of life. For these kind of people, to live signifies sharing happiness and sorrows witht their family even at the cost of curtailing their ambitions and in some cases their actual potential.

So far so good, but whom do u think are more happy and satisfied in life, the ambitious breed or the family breed? But before coming to any kind of conclusion do you think the aim of life is to be happy and satisfied or the aim of life is to lead it in as king-size manner as possible, which in turn would lead to what some might call materialistic happiness? Sometimes I wonder how wonderful it would be if one didn't have to chose amongst the two. Not many on Earth are blessed with this luxury.

The question of our lives then boils down to whether we should go our own way without really caring about anyone else or should we plan our lives taking our near dear ones along with us?

Source for Image: http://www.realbollywood.com/2010/09/mohit-dilemma.html

The Foundation

Suddenly I have realized that my love for the women folk has been increasing since the time I began writing about them and in fact it has become one of my favourite topics to write on. Continuing with my love with destiny, this article is dedicated to all the mothers on this planet Earth, who are not given enough credit for what they do for a family.

Mothers are in all senses of the word the true foundation of a household. From getting up in the morning and preparing breakfast to all the household work, it is difficult to imagine a well functioning household without her presence.

I feel hers is the most difficult and challenging job that one can ever perform. It requires a lot of patience, incredible managerial skills and above all a feeling of dedication and love for all the members of a family.

She needs to deal with the whims of mother-in-law, she needs to handle her kids well apart from of course managing the chores, and this she does only because of the man in her life, the man whom she loves the most and would go to any extent to do things for him, yes her husband.

As a daughter-in-law, as a wife, as a mother, she is supposed to be doing all the above. It is taken for granted that she would do her job with all dedication and commitment. Can you imagine doing the same thing day-in-day-out without much recognition and praise? I am sure it is hell of a job, yet the women are upto it. They do all this without any regrets. Truly, they devote themselves to their family.

And the least we, as men, can do is to love and respect them for all that they do and sacrifice for us.

Source for Image: http://photohome.com/photos/baby-pictures/mom-and-baby-1.html

 

New Family! New Life!

I would like to dedicate this article to the ladies in my house and all the women who leave their homes and go to a totally new family and a new environment after their D-Day. The thing that made me write this article was yesterday's episode from a TV serial by the name of Ek Hazaron Mein Meri Behna Hai which I happened to see while sitting with my mom.

It is amazing how a girl tries to adjust to a new family and how her life changes completely. She needs to accept all the members of the new family, gel up with them and make sure that she can make them happy. It of course takes time for the newly wed to come to terms with the whole new situation.

She remembers every moment she had spent in her maternal home. She remembers every incident that she might have spent with her siblings. She remembers every fun moments that she shared with her friends in school and college.

In fact the very act of getting married, which might just look a ritual and a formality, means much more to a girl. She seems to remember each and every word the pundit uttered while she was getting married. She seems to inscribe the experience of taking each phera in her memory and she seems to remember every thing that happened during the ceremony all her life. Indeed, it is a life changing experience.

The only thing that I can comment, as a man, on the phenomenon of a girl adjusting to her new environment is: "Hats off to all the Ladies in the World".

Source for Image: http://barefootnparadise.blogspot.com/2011/05/family-mission-statement.html

The 5′o clock Person

What does one do when one is not able to sleep even after lying down for a couple of hours and ultimately decides to leave the cosy comfort of the bed at 5′o clock in the morning? It is not that the person doesn't have any option.

He/she can decide to switch on the idiot box and watch some shows. One can listen to the FM which starts to influence our lives pretty early in the morning and all night round. One can go out for a morning walk and experience nature. One can decide on giving his/her mom a nice surprise by preparing a nice breakfast for her or even help her by doing some cleansing household tasks.

You see, a 5′o clock person need not get bored as he/she can do loads to cheer oneself and other important persons in his/her life. So, those who are affected by the sleep syndrome by the name of Insomnia, instead of brooding over the fact that one cannot sleep why not change all the rules of the game and turn a disability or a liability into an asset.

After all you are being given one more chance, one more second, one more minute to spread happiness around yourself. As I have always said and as I would always want to believe its about living life to the fullest and it really doesn't matter whether I am being bombarded by adversities or am been showered with blessings and fortunes.

So, go out, live life, make people happy as "jeena isi ka naam hai".

Source for Image: http://www.goodlightscraps.com/life.php

 

Picture Abhi Baaki hai Mere Dost

Guess what, yet again, Deo inspired me to write this article. Somehow I have realized that a lot of articles that I have written in the past have evolved as a result of my conversations with friends and family. It is amazing how people around us can inspire us in different ways and might motivate us to do things we would have never done.

How often in our lives we think that how could have this happened to us. We don't seem to know what future has in store for us and are totally unaware of the cataclysmic incidents which might have already decided to hit us. And when it actually happens either we are pleasantly surprised and thrilled or we enter in a state of depression and shock.

We of course cannot control the uncontrollable but what we can do is to always keep a positive frame of mind, for what is bad is bound to change to good and for what is good will not remain with us forever. Life is indeed a circle and an emulsion of good and bad things. We have no choice but to take both the aspects in the same stride.

So, when down and out one should always remember that the brighter side of the story is yet to come. And when happy, have fun and enjoy the fortunes at the same time plan a bit for the future.That seems an optimal strategy. Right !

Source for Image: http://www.softpedia.com/progScreenshots/Mood-MSN-Display-Pictures-Screenshot-18417.html

 

Reaction: Anger Management

To every action there is equal and opposite reaction. This was said long time back by a man by the name of Newton who changed the way people viewed the natural phenomenon occuring in their environment.

In societal situations, the very first thing a human does is to react without giving a thought about the consequences of such a reaction. We are at all times faced with situations where we need to act and react. How a person acts/reacts in turn gives rise to a positive or a negative environment around themselves and the way people behave towards them is also determined by the way one behaves or talks to the person in question.

One of the reactions to a situation is anger. Anger, I believe, is the worst of all emotions that a person can display. And this form of expression results in only one thing, negativity and more tension. It not only spoils the whole scenario and creats a bad impression, it also harms an individual physiologically, by raising the temperature of blood which takes several days before it comes back to its normal temperature.

The obvious question is: are we bound to get angry and if yes are there ways which might help us in managing our anger so that it results in positive consequences? I believe that anger is a very natural kind of an emotion, yes the degree might vary from individual to individual depending on how they might view the situation and depending on how tolerant one can become.

As someone has well advised: "Think before you speak", can be well translated to "Think before you Act/React". One should always think twice as to what can be the consequences of his/her actions/reactions before reacting. Different people have tried different things. Some people have tried counting from 1 to 10 before speaking out their mind straight way which might actually turn out to be a good strategy.

No matter what the strategy one uses, at the end of the day, it is about giving the situation a benefit of doubt and becoming more tolerant and in turn more disciplined towards controlling one's anger and emotions.

As Bessie Head has well remarked: Discipline is nothing but an attitude of love and reverence to people. After all, the least we can do is to show love and respect towards people.

Source for Image: http://www.biziki.com/biz/dealing-with-anger-management/

Optimise Happiness

Have you ever felt letting yourself go? Have you ever wanted to be away from the normal/routine life that we have got so accustomed to? Have you ever desired to be left alone, just you and no one else? Have you ever tried to free yourself from the tensions and anxieties in life?

I think each one of us must have faced such an emotion at some point of time in life. And we resort to different kind of activities in order to get away from our boredom. Some might want to take a vacation in serine and calm environment of the mountains, some might want to go to a beach and chill out, some might want to be adventurous and undertake activities like deep sea diving, bungee jumping etc., and we all try to do our own bit.

I believe that it is extremely important to take a break once in a while from the rigors of life and recharge our energies and bounce back rejuvenated. Sometimes I wonder whether such breaks in life is an expression of the urge of human mind to desire change. Probably yes!

But why is it that many people in India are not satisfied with their professional lives? Is it because they end up doing things they do not want to do? Is it because we are not able to create a suitable balance between our personal and professional lives?

Whatever might be the reason behind our displeasure, at the end of the day, what matters the most is to optimise our situation and derive Happiness from the same. After all, the aim of life is to lead it in as positive and happy manner as possible. Isnt it?

Source for Image: http://eccentricrashmi.blogspot.com/2011/01/i-want-to-be-happy.html

Kun Faaya Kun

After listening to this song from the movie Rockstar, I was just wondering as to what these words might mean. Well, these words are taken from Quran, The Holy Book for Muslims and the meaning is: "God Said Be and It Became". Very interesting, right!

Sometimes I wonder whether the becoming was in the hands of the individual or was it because God had inscripted the things for him/her, which led to him/her being what he/she is today. Some people believe that they can make their own destinies with the kind of efforts they do in their lifetime and cite examples like Abdul Kalam Azad who came from a below average background and went on to become the President of India, while on the other hand some believe that no matter how much efforts they put, if God has written something, it is bound to happen and these people explain this phenomenon citing examples of Sachin Tendulkar and Vinod Kambli.

Both these talents were pipped to be the future of Indian Cricket, in fact Vinod Kambli was considered better than Tendulakar during their early days. But what resulted, everyone knows. Those who are strong believer in destiny would want to explain this by saying that it was inscripted for Tendulkar that he would go on to become one of the Greats.

Whatever might be the explanation, it is true that nothing can be achieved without hard work, dedication and commitment. So, the most important thing for an individual is to keep striving towards his/her goal, whatever it might be and then leave rest to God. It is said that God helps those who help themselves. Thus, it is extremely important to keep trying in life.

As Martina McBridehas has summed all these aspects including destiny and hard work in this quote beautifully: "A big part of who I am is just the way I was raised. Nobody is better than anyone else, and if you really work hard, you might get lucky and get what you want."

Source for Image: http://perfect-chuki.blogspot.com/2011/03/destiny-and-me.html

Satisfaction in Life

Yesterday, I had talked about one of the incidents (the bus incident where the conductor had issued more tickets than the number of seats and the passengers seemed to have conformed to the wrong practice by accepting to stand in the bus) from my recent trip which made me write about the significance of speaking out and vouching for change.

Another incident from the same trip to Alibag changed my perspective about Life. There was this guy who owns a piece of land. Earlier it used to lie vacant. Now he has converted his land into a set of three cottages for tourists to come and stay in a peaceful and relaxed environment. It was amazing to see the kind of satisfaction on his face. He doesn't seem to have been influenced by the rat race and is happy sustaining his life at the same place where his grandfather, his father and in turn he spent all their lives.

A rare feat in this competitive world where the children need to go away from their families in search for better jobs and opportunities. This made me think about the way one should lead his/her life. Is it that being ambitious and striving for societal/materialistic goals should be the sole aim of life? Wouldn't we all want to share our joys and sorrows and in fact our lives with our parents/grandparents/extended family?

Some of my friends from small towns and cities would say that there aren't many lucrative opportunities around in these places and it is but a compulsion for them to move out if they want to lead a life their own way and on their own terms. Of course, every individual has a right to make decisions about himself/herself.

As I was trying to decipher the mystery behind the calm persona of the cottage owner at Alibag, I was forced to think as to what would result in that smile on the man's face? Is he really satisfied with what he has got? or Has he reconciled to what he is capable of getting? And for that matter what is satisfaction after all? Can man ever be satisifed? Or is it that he tends to draw satisfaction when he comes home at the end of a struggling day? Would being satisfied kill the inherent curiosity and ambitions?

All the above are difficult to answer and each individual might have his/her own take on the same. But what is of utmost importance, at least in my experience has been, is that instead of blindly running after materialistic opportunities in life, one needs to sit down and deliberate as to what one might miss upon if he/she were to join the rat race.

Sometimes I wonder how wonderful it would be if we were able to share our joys and sorrows with people who matter the most in our lives, which our society gives the terminology of a family.

Source for Image: http://www.the-means-of-life.blogspot.com/

Speak Out: Vouch for Change

Last week, I happened to visit Alibag near Mumbai. While coming back from Alibag, I took a bus from the Alibag main market. I was not surprised to see the state of buses as I have been witnessing the same since my first encounter with a means of public transport. This definitely reflects on the negligence on the part of the government, but what was disheartening to see was the mentality in people that have persisted for times immemorial.

Somehow, we as citizens are not accustomed to speaking and voicing our rights out. Somehow, we are always toed by the corrupt practices that are followed in our environment and we never seem to stand against such practices. One of the examples of the same was explicitly visible in my recent trip, where the bus conductor issued more tickets in comparison to the seats available. As a result, the seats were grabbed on a first-come-first grab basis and the rest didn't have any other option but to stand causing inconvenience both to themselves and others.

Some of the travelers on the route commute daily and seem to have got used to standing in the buses. They are well aware of the way things are being done and would never want to change things, may be because they know nothing would happen, so why waste time? They have much better things to focus upon than this silly half an hour or so journey to a ferry point. It is much easier to compromise than trying to make things right.

But if one wants the change, one needs to speak out. Yes, one might have to go through some opposition, but at the end of the day, at least in my personal experience, people in general prefer right ways to wrong ways and if someone stands for the right, people do tend to offer full support for the same, as was well visible in the Anna Hazare campaign.

So, the most important thing to do is to speak out and vouch for a change. The question though is do we all want to go on compromising with what's being offered or would we want to change our mentality and way of thinking and stand and support the right thing?

Source for Image: http://edutraveler.blogspot.com/2011/03/stand-up-speak-out-black-educators.html