Clare De Graaf's Blog, page 40
November 4, 2013
Context: The Key to True Understanding
Last week, I took five of our older grandchildren (ages 13-16) to dinner to discuss communism, socialism, and the democratic/free market system and what Jesus might think of each. After teaching for about five minutes, one of our grandchildren asked a question.
I don’t remember the question, but I asked a question of my own, that got instant laughs from everyone. “Do you want the short answer or the long answer?” They all laughed because everyone in our family knows they’re always going to get the long answer from me. Why?
Because short answers, without context will rarely lead to real understanding.
To illustrate the importance of context, I told them this humorous story before I went any further.
I don’t remember the question, but I asked a question of my own, that got instant laughs from everyone. “Do you want the short answer or the long answer?” They all laughed because everyone in our family knows they’re always going to get the long answer from me. Why?
Because short answers, without context will rarely lead to real understanding.
To illustrate the importance of context, I told them this humorous story before I went any further.
October 28, 2013
Manners Matter
A few weeks ago I had a young guy I was mentoring in my car, on our way to have a meal together. As I was talking, he pulled out his cell phone and started checking his email and returning texts.
I stopped talking in mid-sentence. After a few seconds of awkward silence he asked, “What’s the problem?” “The problem”, I said, “is that we were in the middle of a conversation and you began having a “conversation” with someone else. So, I thought I’d let you finish before we re-engage.”
“Oh, I’m sorry I just wanted to return these messages before I forgot them, he said a bit embarrassed. “I know what you were doing”, I replied, “and your generation thinks nothing of it. But, those of us over 50 think it’s not respectful behavior – good manners, so tonight let’s talk about that. You help me understand what’s important to your generation and I’ll share the expectations of mine.”
I stopped talking in mid-sentence. After a few seconds of awkward silence he asked, “What’s the problem?” “The problem”, I said, “is that we were in the middle of a conversation and you began having a “conversation” with someone else. So, I thought I’d let you finish before we re-engage.”
“Oh, I’m sorry I just wanted to return these messages before I forgot them, he said a bit embarrassed. “I know what you were doing”, I replied, “and your generation thinks nothing of it. But, those of us over 50 think it’s not respectful behavior – good manners, so tonight let’s talk about that. You help me understand what’s important to your generation and I’ll share the expectations of mine.”
October 21, 2013
The Danger to your Faith of Being “Liked”
Last year I was traveling with a small group of college seniors through Europe teaching history and a biblical worldview. After a worship service in Paris, we exited the hotel where they were meeting and started walking toward the Eiffel Tower.
As we approached the tower one of the guys had an idea. “Why don’t we have a contest? Each of us take a photo of the tower on our phone, Instagram it and see who gets the most number of likes on Facebook. Some of the guys had more “friends” than others, so after working out a handicap system, they went to work.
What happened was fascinating. I watched their spirits rise or fall based on the number of “likes” coming in, or not. Some of the more confident guys, ended up with the fewest likes, and were obviously frustrated and disappointed. Of course, the winner was elated.
The next morning at breakfast I made the following observation, which I think is important for us older adults to more fully understand the intense pressure our children, grandchildren and we are under every day.
As we approached the tower one of the guys had an idea. “Why don’t we have a contest? Each of us take a photo of the tower on our phone, Instagram it and see who gets the most number of likes on Facebook. Some of the guys had more “friends” than others, so after working out a handicap system, they went to work.
What happened was fascinating. I watched their spirits rise or fall based on the number of “likes” coming in, or not. Some of the more confident guys, ended up with the fewest likes, and were obviously frustrated and disappointed. Of course, the winner was elated.
The next morning at breakfast I made the following observation, which I think is important for us older adults to more fully understand the intense pressure our children, grandchildren and we are under every day.
October 14, 2013
Five Ideas to Transform your Worship Next Sunday
When was the last time you thought about what God himself thinks of your hour and ten minutes of worship each Sunday?
While I can’t know what God thinks, I do know what I think. So, if I’m not intentional about truly worshipping, here’s what a Sunday morning can look like to me and God.
Thoughtless Worship
I drive to church thinking about anything except worship and God. Susan and I are talking about what we did yesterday or our plans for this afternoon, but God generally isn’t being discussed. As we walk from the parking lot to the church I’m thinking about the nice cars people are driving, greeting friends and sizing people up.
I sit down and read the worship folders to find out what’s going on in the church this week. Still no serious thoughts of God. I’m just killing time until the service begins. When it does, it generally starts with congregational singing. Too often, I sing many songs thoughtlessly – I’m on automatic. And, occasionally I notice certain people not singing at all – just standing there and I’m wondering, “why”? It rarely dawns on me that thinking about them while I thoughtlessly mouth the words, is no worse than not singing at all!
In the past it was so easy for my mind to wander during the pastoral prayer, the missions report and even the sermon. I’ll jot a few notes down on the sermon for future reference, which I rarely followed through on, sing the last song and leave. I’m grateful that God has given our church an incredibly gifted Senior Pastor who stimulates my love and devotion to God almost every Sunday, but it hasn’t always been that way.
Too often, I was a “thoughtless worshipper”, (if there is such a thing!).
While I can’t know what God thinks, I do know what I think. So, if I’m not intentional about truly worshipping, here’s what a Sunday morning can look like to me and God.
Thoughtless Worship
I drive to church thinking about anything except worship and God. Susan and I are talking about what we did yesterday or our plans for this afternoon, but God generally isn’t being discussed. As we walk from the parking lot to the church I’m thinking about the nice cars people are driving, greeting friends and sizing people up.
I sit down and read the worship folders to find out what’s going on in the church this week. Still no serious thoughts of God. I’m just killing time until the service begins. When it does, it generally starts with congregational singing. Too often, I sing many songs thoughtlessly – I’m on automatic. And, occasionally I notice certain people not singing at all – just standing there and I’m wondering, “why”? It rarely dawns on me that thinking about them while I thoughtlessly mouth the words, is no worse than not singing at all!
In the past it was so easy for my mind to wander during the pastoral prayer, the missions report and even the sermon. I’ll jot a few notes down on the sermon for future reference, which I rarely followed through on, sing the last song and leave. I’m grateful that God has given our church an incredibly gifted Senior Pastor who stimulates my love and devotion to God almost every Sunday, but it hasn’t always been that way.
Too often, I was a “thoughtless worshipper”, (if there is such a thing!).
October 7, 2013
How does God speak to us?
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Having written a book on obeying God when he gives us an impression to do something, I get the “but exactly how does he do that?” question a lot.
The most common way God communicated to the prophets and major biblical characters was audibly. They heard God speaking to them. But, what about the average person in the Old Testament or people like you and me living in the New Testament? How does God communicate to us? And, if you’re a spiritual mentor or parent, those you teach will have the same question and we ought to have an answer for them.
The most common answer given by Christians is that God speaks through scripture. But, how exactly does he do that?
Having written a book on obeying God when he gives us an impression to do something, I get the “but exactly how does he do that?” question a lot.
The most common way God communicated to the prophets and major biblical characters was audibly. They heard God speaking to them. But, what about the average person in the Old Testament or people like you and me living in the New Testament? How does God communicate to us? And, if you’re a spiritual mentor or parent, those you teach will have the same question and we ought to have an answer for them.
The most common answer given by Christians is that God speaks through scripture. But, how exactly does he do that?
September 30, 2013
Developing a Ministry of Prayer for Healing in Your Church
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Every church believes God heals people. And, every church encourages prayer for the sick. But, do the elders of your church pray for the sick by anointing them with oil, laying their hands on them, and praying personally and intensely for them?
I was an elder in a wonderful, alive, conservative, evangelical, and non-charismatic church. We believed what James said in the following passage about the ministry of praying for the sick by the elders was true, but we just didn’t do it!
“Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:14-16
Then, a dozen years ago, I told my fellow elders the following story of my dramatic healing experience, which led them to embrace with enthusiasm the ministry of praying for the sick.
Every church believes God heals people. And, every church encourages prayer for the sick. But, do the elders of your church pray for the sick by anointing them with oil, laying their hands on them, and praying personally and intensely for them?
I was an elder in a wonderful, alive, conservative, evangelical, and non-charismatic church. We believed what James said in the following passage about the ministry of praying for the sick by the elders was true, but we just didn’t do it!
“Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:14-16
Then, a dozen years ago, I told my fellow elders the following story of my dramatic healing experience, which led them to embrace with enthusiasm the ministry of praying for the sick.
September 26, 2013
A Thoughtful, Biblical Response to Same-Sex Attraction, Marriage and the Church
There is a tsunami coming at the evangelical church. It’s the gender-orientation and gay marriage debate. This is not a tsunami we can simply hunker down and ride out. To lose this issue is to lose the debate over the authority of scriptures to govern our lives. If a teaching so clear in both the […]
September 23, 2013
Dear Michael – a Parent’s Letter to a Gay Son
Twice in the last year I’ve been asked what I would say in a letter to a gay son or daughter that was true to the Bible, intellectually honest and gracious.
So, here’s my best attempt to summarize the most important points from scripture; hopefully, stated with grace. (Although those who disagree with us on these issues often view our disagreement, in and of itself as unloving and ungracious!) I conclude with some very specific boundaries on behavior that I believe you have the right to enforce, in your home as well as a link to some talking points I’ve written on the subject.
Our Dear Michael,
Your mother and I want to make sure you know this above all; we love you, and always will. We’d rather say the things in this letter face-to-face, and I hope we will have a chance to do so, as soon as you come home for Easter. However, to avoid any misunderstanding and awkward moments, we thought we’d put our thoughts in black and white.
So, here’s my best attempt to summarize the most important points from scripture; hopefully, stated with grace. (Although those who disagree with us on these issues often view our disagreement, in and of itself as unloving and ungracious!) I conclude with some very specific boundaries on behavior that I believe you have the right to enforce, in your home as well as a link to some talking points I’ve written on the subject.
Our Dear Michael,
Your mother and I want to make sure you know this above all; we love you, and always will. We’d rather say the things in this letter face-to-face, and I hope we will have a chance to do so, as soon as you come home for Easter. However, to avoid any misunderstanding and awkward moments, we thought we’d put our thoughts in black and white.
September 16, 2013
Your Daughter (or Son) is Thinking of Marrying a Non-Christian?
Sooner or later, almost every family will be faced with what to do about a son, daughter, or grandchild, who has fallen in love with someone who isn’t a Christian. So, how should Christians respond?
I helped write the following letter for some parents whose daughter has fallen in love with a person who simply had no interest in Christianity. The man wasn’t of another religion, nor was he antagonistic of Christianity. He was fine with it, for other people, and even for this couple’s daughter. Christianity just wasn’t for him.
I helped write the following letter for some parents whose daughter has fallen in love with a person who simply had no interest in Christianity. The man wasn’t of another religion, nor was he antagonistic of Christianity. He was fine with it, for other people, and even for this couple’s daughter. Christianity just wasn’t for him.
September 9, 2013
How to Dialogue with Intelligent People and College Students who are Less Likely to be Religious
“Intelligent people don’t simply reject religion because it’s wrong; they reject it because their social environs lead them to think it’s wrong.
We choose which questions to grapple with on the basis of how important they are to us. When society keeps repeating that “smart folks reject religion,” then religion no longer becomes worthy of investigation or adherence. Previously faithful teenagers go off to college, stop attending church and become what “smart people” tell them they should, skeptics.”
Almost nobody makes a conscience decision to not believe in Jesus or the message of the Bible. It happens most often when Christians grow up seeing older Christians not living what they teach, or simply repeating the, “Because the Word of God says so”, line to any question they can’t answer effectively. Therefore, when we begin teaching or discussing a biblical worldview, what we say and how we present truth, takes on added importance.
So, I’ve set for myself the following four criteria for teaching the young men and religious skeptics I meet with;
• Am I true to the Bible?
• Am I intellectually honest?
• Am I gracious in the way I answer others, even critics?
• Do I live what I teach?
We choose which questions to grapple with on the basis of how important they are to us. When society keeps repeating that “smart folks reject religion,” then religion no longer becomes worthy of investigation or adherence. Previously faithful teenagers go off to college, stop attending church and become what “smart people” tell them they should, skeptics.”
Jordan Monge,
Christianity Today, August 26, 2013
Almost nobody makes a conscience decision to not believe in Jesus or the message of the Bible. It happens most often when Christians grow up seeing older Christians not living what they teach, or simply repeating the, “Because the Word of God says so”, line to any question they can’t answer effectively. Therefore, when we begin teaching or discussing a biblical worldview, what we say and how we present truth, takes on added importance.
So, I’ve set for myself the following four criteria for teaching the young men and religious skeptics I meet with;
• Am I true to the Bible?
• Am I intellectually honest?
• Am I gracious in the way I answer others, even critics?
• Do I live what I teach?
